AN: Re-updating because I realized I forgot to add an authors note, and I love writing them. Anyways, the story will begin picking up from here. And, lawfully, you have to review... I had a rough day. I work at dunkin donuts and I spilled an entire hot (black) coffee on my hand, and i typed this up for you guys even though my hand hurt. the sacrifices I make.

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Meredith rounded the corner and turned into Philip Robinson's room, only to discover that Derek had beat her there. He smiled that big, obnoxious McDreamy smile at her as she entered and Meredith purposefully angled her gaze downward to avoid it.

"This is Dr. Grey," he introduced. "She will be assist-"

"I was the one who introduced Dr. Shepherd to this trial. We will be performing your surgery together," Meredith interrupted, offering a hand for Phillip to shake.

Phillip looked between them with a calculating expression. "You two have definitely slept together," he blurted. He looked over at his wife, who had her face buried in her hand. "Don't you think they've had sex at least once?"

Meredith couldn't tell whose face was more flushed - hers of Jennifers. "I'm so sorry," Jennifer apologized. "He -"

"Its the tumor talking," Derek said soothingly, resting a hand on Jennifer's forearm. Frustration bubbled deep in Meredith's gut.

Clearing her throat, Meredith ran over the procedure once again, including the risks. Jennifer nodded to show she understood.

"A nurse will be in to prep Mr. Robinson in about 30 minutes, and then we'll be here to take him to the OR," Derek said, smiling. He nodded towards the door. "After you, Dr. Grey."

Fighting back a groan, Meredith went out into the hall. Derek followed, closing the door softly behind him.

"Meredith," he said in a low, serious voice once they were alone. All traces of his professional pretense were gone. "You understand there is a high chance of failure."

Meredith looked at him incredulously. "Yes, Dr. Shepherd. I'm well aware."

"I just didn't want you to get your hopes up," Derek said, frowning.

Meredith scoffed. "Well, you don't have to worry about that." She turned to leave, but Derek grabbed the sleeve of her scrubs and held her back.

He had the audacity to grin at her as she glared. "Why don't we take the elevator?"

"Dr. Shepherd- " Meredith said through clenched teeth.

At the end of the hall, the elevator bell rang and several people stepped out. Derek pulled Meredith towards it before the doors closed. "Come on. You know how much I love elevators."

The doors shut and they were alone. Meredith groaned as reached out and Derek pressed the emergency button, stopping the elevator.

"Derek -" Meredith hissed in frustration.

"No," Derek interrupted. "I cannot in good conscience go into a risky surgery with so much on my mind." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I wanted to apologize. Sincerely."

Meredith barked out a laugh. "Oh, that is rich."

"Meredith." Derek stepped towards her and she instinctively moved back. "I am so sorry. I made a massive mistake."

"Which part?" Meredith snapped. "The part where you led me on without telling me you had a wife, or the part where you humiliated me by making me think I still had a chance." she turned away from him for a moment and paused. Then, abruptly, she faced him again. "I begged for you. I've never begged for anything, Derek. But i begged for you. And you said no. So I left, and I wouldn't be back here if it weren't for the fact that I got shot."

Derek paled. Evidently he hadn't been informed on the terms of Meredith's return. "I had no idea."

"There are a lot of things you don't know," Meredith mumbled. She pushed the emergency button and the elevator jerked into motion.

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lets get this puppy to 45 reviews...