Meredith was spending the evening on her living room floor with Cristina and a bottle of tequila. She and Derek had lost their fourth trial patient that day. Their bottle of champagne remained stagnant, sealed shut in the attending's lounge refrigerator.

"So, me and Derek are running a slaughterhouse," Meredith mumbled. "Four victims so far."

Cristina swallowed another gulp of liquor thickly. "And you still haven't kissed him yet?"

"Are you kidding? He's an asshole." Meredith grabbed the bottle from Cristina. "Stupid Derek with his stupid boy penis and his stupid wife. Where did Addison go, anyway?"

Burping loudly, Cristina slid off the couch onto the floor. "Divorced him right after you left. She went to LA, I think."

Tilting her head back, Meredith stared up at the ceiling. It was spinning in slow circles. Suddenly, alarmingly, Meredith felt a lump form in her throat. "Cristina," she croaked. "Iwannabeamom."

Cristina stared at her. "So do it."

Meredith choked on a sob. Bailey and Izzie were the only people who knew the extent of her injuries. "I can't…"

"Why? Cause of Derek?" Cristina mumbled through a hiccup. "Forget about him. Get artificially inseminated, show him who's boss."

Meredith reached up to swipe at her eyes and was appalled when her hand came away wet. Sniffing in through her nose, she shook her head. "I can't, Cristina," she choked out. She turned to face her. "You're my person, right?"

Numbly, Cristina nodded. "Course I am."

"They did a hysterectomy," Meredith whispered, like she was sharing a dirty secret. "When I got shot."

Cristina's eyes widened. "What?"

Meredith nodded and lifted the hem of her shirt slightly. The scar from the hysterectomy was still pink and raised. Cristina stared at it in horror. "Oh, Meredith."

"Now I can't ever have babies. I never wanted babies anyways. But now I really, really do." she smiled, lopsided. "Isn't that how it works? Murphy's law?"

Cristina floundered for words, only to be saved by the sound of footsteps padding down the stairs. Meredith and Cristina both looked up to see Lexie stumbling out the door, hair and clothing dishevelled.

"Lexie?" Meredith hissed. She hadn't interacted much with her sister outside of the hospital; she definitely didn't expect to find her in her house.

"Oh, god!" Lexie yelped. "Meredith! What are you doing here?"

Meredith laughed. "I live here."

Lexie's eyes widened in horror. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Alex didn't - I am going to murder him!"

Cristina guffawed loudly. "You and evil spawn?"

"I - I am so sorry," Lexie muttered, fumbling with the doorknob. "Seriously. I'm going to go - I'm really sorry -"

"No, no. Come sit down." Meredith patted the spot on the rug beside her. "I need to speak with someone who isn't dull and depressing."

Cristina scoffed. "I'm not dull and depressing."

Meredith waved her off. "You're a mother of one in a stable marriage with a heart surgeon. You have a uterus. Shut up."

Hesitantly, Lexie entered the living room. "You don't have a… ?"

Meredith shook her head. "Nope. I'm a 28 year old barren woman who still lives in a frat house. Like I said, dull and depressing." She threw back another swig of tequila.

Lexie regarded Cristina questioningly. She shrugged. "You do understand you're going to have to pretend you heard none of this tomorrow morning, right?"

Gulping, Lexie leaned back against the couch. "So. You want to her about sex with Alex?"

[]

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