That night, Meredith laid in bed side by side with Derek, staring up at the ceiling. The house was too quiet without Alex and his one night stand ramming the headboard against the wall. She and Derek were too exhausted to create their own symphony.

Rolling onto her side, Meredith stared at Derek's side profile. She always found it odd how he slept flat on his back. He claimed it was good for blood flow to the brain.

Meredith lightly nudged his shoulder. "Derek."

He grunted to show that he was awake. Meredith shifted and propped her head up on her hand. "I never talked to anyone about what it was like over there."

Derek's eyes opened slowly. "Do you want to?"

"Sure." Meredith said. Derek remained silent, looking at her expectantly, and she realized he was waiting for her to speak. She decided to start with something easy. "I had a friend."

"A friend," Derek repeated, intrigued. Meredith nodded and he smiled. "Do elaborate."

"Her name was Francesa. We all called her Frankie," Meredith said, staring back up at the ceiling. "She died of a massive brain bleed."

Startled by the abrupt change in her originally wistful tone, Derek frowned. "Oh, Meredith -"

"I couldn't help," Meredith interjected. "It happened after I got hurt, and they wouldn't let me operate. I just sat in bed while another neurosurgeon did the surgery. And she died." taking a shaky breath, she glanced back over at Derek. "Their transport crashed, tons of people got hurt. But she was the only one that died."

Derek's lower lip hung open for a moment, unsure of what to say. "Meredith -"

"Its not fair!" Meredith shouted, forcing herself into a sitting position. "She wanted kids. She was going to have 6 kids and all of their names were going to start with B."

Derek, always the one to put out her fires, sat up and held onto her forearms. "It wasn't your fault, Meredith. Sometimes patients don't make it off the table, especially with brain surgery."

"But I could have helped," Meredith sobbed. Months worth of grief and anger were tumbling out of her all at once. "We both specialized in neuro. She would have wanted me to do something." She sniffed, and Derek rached over to the bedside table to grab her a tissue.

"You did everything she would have wanted you to do," Derek assured, tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. In the past few months it had grown out and had nearly returned to its original length. Meredith had an odd urge to cut it again. "You came back here and you were safe. You pioneered an incredible clinical trial that's going to help save hundreds of lives." he smiled. "You're an awesome surgeon. You're a good person, Meredith."

She felt her lower lip wobble. "She was going to name them Beatrice, Bella, Bethany, Bernard, Benjamin, and Bentley. Three boys and three girls."

"She would ruin that kid's life, naming him Bernard," Derek joked softly.

Wiping her eyes, Meredith let out a wet laugh. "Trust me, I tried to tell her." There was a tug in the pit of her stomach as Derek shifted closer to her. Meeting his eyes, she blurted, "I definitely want to have kids. Someday."

Instead of panicking as she had anticipated, Derek smiled softly at her. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

Meredith shook her head. "No. I meant I want to have kids with you. Your kids."

"And once again I will say - I think its a wonderful idea." she looked at him in shock and he laughed. "I love you, Meredith. I consider you the love of my life and I will do whatever you want me to. I'll marry you, I'll build us a house - and I will definitely have children with you."

Meredith lunged forward and hugged him. "Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack. Or a malignant brain tumor."

Meredith pulled away abruptly. "This isn't going to be easy," she said cautiously. "It won't be spontaneous sex so much as it will be signing legal documents."

"And I will signature every one of them with a smile on my face," Derek said. He smirked. "And we can have hot lawyer's office sex while we do it."

She leaned forward and pressed a long, happy kiss on his mouth. "I like the sound of that."

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Reviews could have been better last chap… rev em up! :))