Rin woke up in her plushy bed surrounded by the vast amounts of covers each one warmer than the last. She smiled to herself as she laid there looking out the window, the sun shining inside her room and the lovely gardens just outside. She stuck her arm out and let the light envelope her hand, playing with the sun beams. This was to be her new life now and already she was thoroughly pleased with it. Not for all the finery she was bestowed but just for the fact that she was with her Lord Sesshomaru. Nothing could make her happier than that. She rose from her comfortable haven, stretching to meet the day with bright enthusiasm. She couldn't wait to explore all corners of this place and see what there was to see. She wondered about what wonders she would find and what adventures she might have. She went to her window and opened it, letting in the breeze that felt so good on her face. She took a deep breath in smelling the fresh scent of watered flowers and seeing a gardener tidying up everything.
"Good morning!" She called out merrily, waving at him. He looked up from his work, stunned anyone had said anything to him at all. He looked around himself then pointed at himself, questioning if she meant him. Surely she wasn't talking to someone as lowly as he but she grinned and nodded her head yes. He tipped his hat to her as genially as he knew how, he had been told already that this person was meant to be respected and he should treat her accordingly.
"Good morning t'ya, milady. How do you fare this day?"
"Wonderful thank you! What a delightful garden this is, you tend it so well. I'd very much like to come and see it closer soon."
He flushed under the praise and gave her a lopsided grin as he scratched the side of his face. "You flatter me. If you should like you can come anytime you please. The gardens are always welcome to ye, miss."
"Thank you. Will you be here if I come back later?"
"A'course, miss. I could show ye around if ye like."
"Oh would you? That would be great. I've learned a lot about how to use herbs and berries but I'm afraid I don't know much else. What's your name, sir?"
"Sir?" He blinked rapidly, flushing again. "Milady please...save such fanciful titles for someone of higher standing. My name is Mozukai and I am humbly at your service."
Mozukai seemed like a demon more like Sesshomaru, much more human looking but he had some telltale details that marked him as different. He was a lower class demon in all ways including blood line, his mother was already a half breed and his father was a full lizard demon resulting in him looking reptilian but not to the extent of his father. He had scales on his cheeks, slit pupils, and a small curling tail but he looked mostly like a man. Already Rin was convinced she would like it here for more than one reason. The staff seemed to be nice and pleasant. She closed her window again after talking with him when she heard a knocking at her door. When she answered it she saw the two ladies who escorted her yesterday.
"Oh good morning! How nice to see you both again. Is there something you need?"
"Don't concern yourself with us, dearie," the elder one spoke, "it's our job to concern ourselves with you. We hope you are hungry because we've brought you some breakfast."
"Yes I am very hungry, actually. You didn't have to do all this though, I know how to cook."
"It's fine for us, it's our job. Now eat up and once you're done we'll see to it that you're all ready because the lord wants to see you," the younger one clarified, placing the tray she was holding down on a small table in the room with a lone chair. It was her writing desk but it was fine to eat there too. Rin thanked them once again for what they were doing and then told them she would be fine to get ready on her own. They did not comply to her demands and when she was done eating they opened up her closet and began to help her undress.
"Which would you like to wear today, my lady?"
"Oh anything is fine with me. What would you choose?"
"Me? No one's ever asked for my opinion on clothing before. Hmm...let's see...what do you think of this choice? Too bold?" She inquired, holding up a purple and gold kimono. "Or perhaps something a bit paler for you...pink suits you."
"No it's alright, don't worry about finding another one. I like your choice because it reminds me of my lord, it's very noble... perhaps too much so for me."
"No such thing. You are to be dressed like a proper young lady if you are to be in this household and in front of his lordship. Besides he went through a lot of trouble picking these out, you'd do him wrong not at least wearing them."
"You're right...um...what are your names?"
"I'm Aseru and she's Kyushu," the elder told her with a bow. She seemed to be some type of mouse demon with small rounded ears lying flat against her head and little buck teeth. Kyushu was a cat demon, covered in orange-red stripy fur. It was funny to Rin that these two were always together, a cat and a mouse, but they seemed to work well with the other. They dressed her in the robe then did her hair up and to the side in a bun with golden chopsticks and purple bulbs at the end. They also applied some paint to her lips, nothing too bright because her kimono was already enough and she needed a more subdued color. They chose a peachy pink. Once the shoes were on she was on her way. The two servant women led her to a medium sized room and pulled back the door, first coming in with a deep bow and introduced her.
Rin walked into the room with a curious face, having never been in this situation before. They all seemed to treat her like a noblewoman around here, they even called her my lady. She assumed this was because Sesshomaru told them to do so and the thought of that made her heart sing. He wanted her to be given such treatment though it was going to take some getting used to. Aseru and Kyushu were dismissed leaving just Rin standing there with Sesshomaru looking at her with that intense gaze he always had. Her eyes roamed about trying to avoid contact with his, seeing that this was an office of sorts. There wasn't much in here besides some bookshelves and a desk, scrolls lined the walls in cabinets, maps were hung on the walls, and a large mask of some sort. Eventually she couldn't help herself, she looked at him again finding he had moved some and was moving still, toward her. She was still as a stone, hands folded in front of her trying to appear like she was calm and collected when she wasn't. She pressed her lips together and rubbed them as he closed the space between them, stopping right in front of her.
"Good...good morning my lord. How was your night?"
"It was fine but it's not important how I was. How were you?"
"Me? Oh I slept very well! The bed is so comfy, I felt I was sinking into all the softness. I never had a better night's rest. Thank you."
He kept gazing at her, drawing his eyes towards her clothing. Now she looked like a real woman and it was impossible to mistake otherwise. Her full female form was being shown and it was curvaceous yet fit. The kimono was doing wonders for her, highlighting every bit of her body shape and the rich colors complimented her skin tone. Her hair was up again and though it made her look dignified he preferred it loose. It just fit her better. Still he supposed all in all she looked...good. Much better than before. Her lips seemed glossier than they were yesterday, the handmaids must have painted them. He was drawn to the way they shimmered in a certain lighting. Those peach tinted lips drew upwards in a loving smile at him, loving but still bashful. She made it difficult not to smile back at her. If it weren't hard encoded in his body not to he just might have and he didn't do it to spite her. It just wasn't something he did though he saw that he had changed a lot because of her. He had overheard his servants saying he was much less scary than before.
"That's good and what exactly are you going to do today?"
"Well I wanted to look around and see everything. Is that alright?"
"This is your home now, you may do as you wish."
She showed her teeth in a full beam at him, obviously pleased to hear she was allowed to go where she pleased. Being so curious she loved to run about and find things, discover, search, investigate. Each corridor of this palatial place was calling her name and she intended to answer that call. She was enthralled to see everything and given the vast size of it all it would take her all day to look at it all. Nowhere was off limits to her, no room barred, nothing stopping her at all, she could roam about freely and this made her very joyful. She clapped her hands together then bowed to him properly.
"Arigato Lord Sesshomaru! I'm going to go look around right now. I can hardly wait!"
"Be careful."
"I will!" She exclaimed, running off with the sound of her wooden shoes clacking on the wooden floors. She was gone now but for him she was never truly gone, he thought of her smile again. She was so happy and he liked her that way. He knew now he was right in his decision to bring her back here and he knew she would come to love it here. His staff would do nothing but honor his word and make sure to tend to her every whim, no matter what it was, and to give her anything and everything. He was sure he might be spoiling her but someone like Rin did not turn bratty because of such things. She was still childlike in her soul and when given a multitude of gifts, she would enjoy each but humbly. He went back to his work, thinking of her as he wrote into a scroll. He wondered how her calligraphy was, if anyone taught her how to write properly. Most likely or at least he hoped so.
If not he knew plenty of tutors for her. His head tilted upwards, he could hear her musical laughter echoing across his home. It was good to have her back. Somewhere in his soul he missed that most of all, to be around her cheeriness. Rin was having the time of her life, investigating each room and hallway that she could find. Up and down she went through this twisting labyrinth of doors and archways finding all sorts of neat things. Most of the rooms were empty or just bedrooms, all different than hers. Hers seemed the most elaborate. She found the dining room and opened her mouth wide at the amount of seating available and the light fixtures she had never seen before. Everything was so shiny and new, obviously carefully kept up by everyone here. Not a speck of dust, not a spot, not a single smudge. Everything was clean as a whistle. It wasn't even the only room to eat in and she wondered why such places existed when her lord didn't really eat.
He did it's just not often and never around her. She knew from other demons she had watched that he most likely liked his food more alive and meaty although as a prince he usually took things cooked. When in full demon mode he would go out hunting in the wilderness and find some game to hunt down and to preserve his dignity he'd eat it in secrecy, always cleaning off his face in some water afterwards. He did not want Rin to ever see him as a full demon nor did he want her to even know he ever ate raw meat. Rin was a tough girl but he didn't want her to see her lord in such a state. Though when he was a full demon sometimes he got into this inescapable dog mindset and sometimes would start to drag something back to where Rin was, stopping himself with a screeching halt before he went any further. He'd sooner throw himself off a cliff before he did anything like that to her, she'd think him a monster but it was for some reason in that state difficult to remember she wasn't a little demon pup for him to feed.
This is why he liked to avoid going into that mode unless necessary but once she had seen him in it and she was shockingly not scared at all. She let out a gasp of awe and then went straight to him, hugging his leg. She pet him with affection while giggling gleefully, saying he looked so beautiful. Jaken had to reprimand her for saying such things about their lord but Sesshomaru didn't at all care, he was just relieved she didn't run away in fear, even if he pretended that he didn't feel that way at all. He didn't ever want her to run away for any reason but especially not because of him, yet she didn't care at all about him and so if he transformed again he felt better about it. She saw him as a thing of beauty, a force of nature, something like a volcano- deadly but stunning. He once transformed for her amusement and let her fall asleep with him, all curled up using his tail as a blanket, nuzzling into his fur. He licked her face gently, lulling her to sleep.
Rin never forgot about that night and at times where she would be cold and lonesome she would remember the feel of his lush fur against her body and face. She wished she could sleep that close to him all the time, bundled up by the softness of his pelt, but alas she more than often found herself sleeping on the ground. She dreamed of doing that again, hearing his breathing and his heartbeat against her cheek, it soothed her like nothing else. Rin wondered what it would be like now if he licked her cheek like she knew he did then. She put her hand to her face and turned hot instantly, imagining even his full dog form licking her again made her breath turn thin. He was such an exotic looking man and her feelings for him so intense that his full-fledged form looked both stately and sultry. It was the only time she had ever felt herself attracted to an animal and it made sense since it was still him in there.
She found herself in the kitchen after looking thoroughly through the dining room. The kitchen was connected to it by a small hall and a door. It was an ordinary kitchen in some regards and yet it was so massive and full of people cleaning or preparing things. Some of them stopped what they were doing to take off their hats or wring their aprons as they greeted her with sloppy bows. She told them it was at all necessary, after all she was still just Rin from the village, nothing more. They didn't seem to hear well because they still acted as if Sesshomaru was tagging behind her heels like a second shadow, judging them with those harsh burning eyes, making sure they fell in line. Rin had really enjoyed her breakfast so she asked to see the chef so she could thank him. The chef was a heavy set looking she wasn't sure, he almost looked like a boar demon with large tusks and semi-small ears but he had no other features of a boar other than that. She thought it might be rude to ask but she felt she would anyways. Her curiosity always got the better of her.
"You wished to see me, milady? I hope you didn't have any problems with the food I made."
"Not at all! It was delicious. I just wanted to thank you for it. Could you make it again tomorrow only add fruit with it? I love fruit!"
"Of course, anything you like. Was there anything else you wanted?"
"No that's about it. Keep up the great work!"
"Thank you, milady, for your kindness. We look forward to you eating lunch and hope you enjoy it too."
"Could I know your name before I go? I'm trying to familiarize myself with everyone here."
"My name? Oh um...it's not important or anything but since you asked it's Ryori. It is my pleasure to serve you."
Rin attempted to bow back but he seemed somewhat perturbed by that motion as if no one in his life had ever bowed to him. She went on her merry way after that, seeing what there was to see. She found some sort of ballroom area where she spun around in circles all over the floor, pretending to dance around with a certain dashing prince with long silver hair. She also discovered a library just full of books from top to bottom and she couldn't wait to read each and every one of them. She had learned how to read from Kagome mostly but also Sango and Miroku. She started out small with children's books then worked her way up to more grown up things. She still was learning a lot of words but after three years she could say she was an avid lover of reading stories. It would take her a lifetime to read all these books but she made a firm decision, she would read as many as she could.
All around, up the stairs, down the stairs, opening doors and meeting new people until she finally made it outside because she had a yearning to go out there. She adored the outdoors, sometimes she felt she belonged there far more than inside. She could smell the earth around her though she wanted to feel it too. Rin walked along a path until she got to the spacious gardens where the gardener was still there just like he said he would be. He was raking up some leaves and wiping the sweat from his brow as he went along. She walked right along to him and he must have been very concentrated on his work because he didn't expect her. He jumped a little causing the leaves to scatter again. She felt sorry that she had startled him because now he would have to start all over again and he was almost done before. She pouted sadly.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to spring up on you."
"That's alright, miss. I'm very skittish. Not too worry, if you were a leaping frog you might have scared me."
"But you have to do it all over from the beginning. Here, please let me help," She offered, holding out her hands to accept the rake.
"Oh no miss. That's my job, please don't concern yourself with someone like me. Ye just sit down and relax. Enjoy the day. It's beautiful outside."
"No no I want to help. It was my fault," Rin stated, taking the rake from him but not in abrasive way. She started to rake up the leaves while he stood there dumbfounded at what she was doing. He tried in vain to stop her, nervously looking around thinking he would be punished if she was seen doing this.
"Please miss, please. Let me do it. I don't want the master to be cross with me for not doing my job."
"He wouldn't be, I promise. I'll just explain what happened and he'll understand. My lord isn't as cruel as some people seem to think. He's so caring and honest. You've been working in the hot sun all day, sit down."
"I could never...! Me take a break from my own job? I'd be fired or worse. I'm begging you please, just give it back."
"Oh...fine but only because you seem so sad about it and I don't want you to be upset," she obliged, handing the object back to him to which he seemed incredibly relieved. He let out a long sigh, going back to his job which he was thankful for. He liked to work anyways but besides that he feared that Sesshomaru would behead him if he were to see him slacking and this woman working in his place. No matter what Rin said about him being a concerned, gentle, sweet person he was not exactly like that with them. He wasn't ruthless or demeaning, he was very easy to get along with if you did what he said and given that he wasn't there often they didn't have to deal with him if he was ever in a bad mood but still. This lady came out of nowhere, they had never seen her or been introduced to her before, though they had heard tale of him traveling with a human child at some point.
Perhaps as time does to children she grew up. Regardless he seemed to care a great deal about her and none of them were brave enough to ask why or how or anything else. They knew very well she was human and last they checked he wasn't one that cared for humans much, maybe he liked them a smidge better than half breeds which he had a strong distaste for because of Inuyasha. It didn't matter what they thought or assumed, all that mattered was their own behinds were on the line if they did her any disservice or disrespect. None of them cared what she was really. Well that wasn't true some were suspicious of her and even some didn't really care for the thought of a human among them but most stayed quiet about those opinions lest Sesshomaru show them just exactly what his sword was capable of now. Mozukai did what he had to do and finished raking up the leaves at last. Then he turned his attention to the patiently waiting Rin who was sitting on a bench swinging her legs back and forth.
"There I'm done. Now would you like a tour of the garden?"
"Yes please!" She enthusiastically cried, hopping down from the bench.
The two of them walked side by side with Mozukai pointing out everything he could or thought was interesting to her. He would give her facts about certain plants like properties they held or when they were in season. He seemed well versed on this sort of thing and it enlightened Rin. She never knew there were so many kinds of flowers and plants in the world. They went along their path until Rin stopped to take off her shoes. She wanted to feel the dirt on her feet again. Mozukai's jaw dropped at her not even caring about her decency as a lady and running around with no shoes on. She sighed in release finally freed of the footwear and held her sandals in one hand as she kept on walking like what she did was nothing. To her it truly was as she had lived all her life like this. It shocked Mozukai so much that he just stood there, only drawn out of his stupor because of Sesshomaru, who had entered the garden not too long ago looking for Rin.
"Y-y-y-our lordship I I...she...I-"
"Hello my lord. Isn't it a lovely day? Have you come out to enjoy it?" Rin cheerfully asked with a wave of her other hand.
"I came to gather you. You should eat."
"Is it time for lunch already? I must have been roaming around for hours. Alright then, I'll come back inside."
Rin dusted off her feet then put back on her shoes. She waved at Mozukai as she walked beside Sesshomaru, telling him she would come back another day for a visit and that she hoped to learn more fascinating things. Rin told Sesshomaru about what she was doing outside, not at all explaining why she had taken her shoes off nor did he ask. If it pleased her he did not care what she did, it was her decision. He walked with her to a small area where her food sat next to a very plush seat and across from it another plush seat which he sat in. There was food only in front of what she assumed to be her seat but there were two cups sitting there. He gestured to the empty place in front of himself and she went to sit down there, beside herself at being able to be so close to him. She was certain he usually didn't do this and so she was thankful that she got the opportunity.
There were a pair of lacquer chopsticks sitting there and a spread of various things, some of which she was slightly familiar with. Being in a village meant she only had rice and fish usually but before her was sushi, vegetables pickled, dried, and steamed, a large bowl of jasmine rice freshly picked and boiled, a plate of roasted pork, dumplings, and some red bean paste buns. She looked at it all with her mouth in a little circle of amazement. She was near drooling because she had never seen so much food in her life. She would never tell him but some nights she would not eat because she would rather her food go to the people who came to the village for help or those who were poor. If he knew that he would be upset with her for not eating enough. She pressed her hands together and closed her eyes, praying before her meal. This somewhat interested Sesshomaru. He was well acquainted with this human tradition but never practiced it himself even if he believed in the same spirits everyone else might. She opened one eye slowly at him and smiled.
"I'm praying for you too," She explained justifying why she was taking so long. "Alright there I'm all done. It all looks so yummy! You know I met the chef today."
She picked up a piece of a pickled plum and placed it in her mouth with a content hum. Everything she was trying was seasoned and prepared to perfection and she knew it was just for her.
"What else did you do?"
"I went around everywhere and I found your library and dining room and lots of empty spaces. I also met a lot of people. Everyone here is so friendly...though...I do think it might be because you told them to be."
"Should I have told them to do otherwise? I would think you'd prefer nice people."
"Of course I do. Who doesn't? It's just...I want them to like me for me and be nice because they want to not because they have to."
"I see and what am I supposed to do about that?"
"I don't know my lord," she answered apprehensively, covering her mouth every time she spoke with food in it. "perhaps maybe you could just ease up on them? They're all so fearful of you. I tried to rake the leaves today and Mozukai wouldn't let me and I know it's because he thought you would harm him."
"I'm not the kind of man that deals out punishment like that. I'll have a word with him later."
"Please be gentle with him, he respects you but he's scared of you too. He's scared of everything it seems. I made him jump just by saying hello. You're a very imposing man Lord Sesshomaru and it can feel like, to them at least, you might be frightening even. Not to me though, you've never scared me even a little."
"Why is that?" He wanted to genuinely know as she wasn't scared of many other demons either but he always felt that like she said he exuded this aura that made others tremble in his wake. Why did a little girl think someone who looked like he did, felt like he did, acted as abrasive as he did, would be her friend?
"I just knew from the moment I saw you that you wouldn't harm me...and besides...I thought you were incredibly..."
"...Yes?"
"Well...you weren't like any man I had ever seen. You were...ethereal, like a god."
Sesshomaru looked at her with intent, eyelids semi lowered although often he always looked like that but something about it was different. He should be used to hearing compliments about his appearance or at least himself and yet even if that was the case he was still taken aback by that statement. It came from her too so it meant something to him, not from some empty headed female but from her. He would usually ignore these kinds of remarks if given them at all but this time he found that he couldn't because he wouldn't. Her words had value to him and so did her opinion, besides that it was from the adult her not the child her. There went that blush again right on her cheeks and that smile of hers. Her eyes stayed on the ground as she twiddled her thumbs until he placed his hand on top of hers, stilling the twiddling but nothing else was stilled about her, including her heart. It thumped inside of her chest so much she was scared to death he could hear it somehow but she thought to herself that was ridiculous. It wasn't, he could hear it and even if he couldn't he could feel it in her veins.
It beat inside of his head to the point where it felt like his own heart was marching in tune with it but it really wasn't. His own was as stoic as he was, not at all fluctuating. He could only think of a few times where it did race and all of them were because of her when she was in trouble or that horrible day where he almost had her gone from his life. He was eternally thankful to his mother even if he didn't at all express it in the slightest, not even a word of thanks but he knew she knew how he felt. He just couldn't live his life without her, even if he'd never say it aloud he did in fact think it and the thought of losing her had broken him into a thousand pieces of which he felt could not be put back together. That day he realized just how much she meant to him, how precious she and his time with her were. He could never lose her again and that was part of the reason he left her with other humans. She'd be safer there than with a demon.
Yet after all of it he took her back with him. She wasn't any safer there and besides...though he hated to admit such things he had no choice in the matter. He missed her. He needed her near him, her sunshiny attitude and smile and laughter. It felt so hollow without her near him even Jaken admitted it was too quiet now with her gone. He was as stubborn as his master was at admittance to liking anything but he did too reveal his feelings once Rin was alive. He cried for Sesshomaru he said even if it was for Rin but it was indeed for both. He reflected Sesshomaru's inner feelings at the moment and that was the truth. He was beyond relieved to have her back in the land of the living. He owed his mother a great deal and she knew this. He was certain one day she'd come flying back from her home in the clouds to bother him about his repayment. She didn't just let anyone use the meido stone.
Rin was thankful too but she actually expressed it. She too could not live without her lord. She needed to be by his side, always with him. He knew that's how she felt, he could tell she wanted to be with him and that's why she was here now because she'd never be truly happy without him and he too without her. He started to let his mind go loose with other thoughts of why else she wanted to be with him and as he held her hand those ideas seemed not too far fetched but yet again he swept them away, ignored them, pretended he never even heard of them but he still held her hand. He told himself it was to stop her from fidgeting so much but was it? She was still shaking, trembling under his touch and under his gaze. She looked into his eyes again, being courageous enough to stare back at him. He tested her ability to keep looking at him the way she was now, the way that was making him feel strange and he both hated it and yet wanted it to continue, it was almost like being tickled from the inside. She had such a sincere and utterly devoted look in her eyes, so warm and sweet.
He moved his hand up slowly causing her to tremble again and he noticed her swallowing hard. The action made his eyes go directly to her throat which was expanding with each breath she took in, each quickened breath. He trailed his claws up the side of her neck causing her to let out a weak high pitched noise that startled him entirely. He immediately released his hands from her and stared at her wide eyed trying to assimilate what just happened and what on earth kind of noise that was. He wasn't given much time to think about it as one of his servants knocked and peeked their head in, alerting him that he was needed. He blinked a little then left, trying not to appear as if he was escaping the tense situation that just unfolded and trying also to not blame himself for it. Even though it was all his fault it happened in the first place. He didn't want to admit to anything, not that he started it and not that he was walking away from anything. He did not have fear or tension but he could not answer as to why he had touched her at all. He came up with a million excuses each thinner than the one before and not at all believable but he had to convince himself that he had no ulterior motives.
Rin was left there also pondering what just happened. He had touched her in a way she had not been touched by him before. What was he doing and why? She couldn't explain it but she knew it was for no deeper reason like she might hope. She was a mortal and though she dreamed of being with him on a more personal level she knew it was a childish dream. He would never ever want her not in a million years. He was too proud of his full demon heritage and bloodline to go and be with someone as lowly as she was. For all she knew he maybe just saw her as a child still but that did not explain at all why he touched her neck in such a way. So slow and deliberate as if he was trying his best to get a reaction out of her. She knew better but she also didn't know why and it was best to her that she not even question it and move on. She was something to him, she knew that, maybe even loved by him but not like she so desperately and secretly wanted.
She'd have to be a demon like him for him to even consider and even if magically she could wave a wand like the fairies in Kagome's stories and turn into one he still might not want her merely because it was her. She'd just have to sit on the sidelines and watch him eventually, if he even ever wanted to, take some gorgeous demoness as his own and she'd forever be just little Rin. She'd be happy for him, help raise his children, and be by his side as long as she was welcomed, then she'd just die without ever telling him how she felt because it didn't matter anymore. It never mattered in the first place. She sighed in defeat, telling herself it wasn't going to do if she moped about continuing to think of her unrequited love for him. She should be glad she was allowed to be near him at all. Rin finished up her food, taking one of the red bean cakes with her as she continued her exploration of the house.
She had not yet finished exactly as she had taken a detour to see the gardens before the day got on. She spent most of her evening searching about, taking her mind off of other less pleasant things. Meanwhile Sesshomaru was busy dealing with affairs of his kingdom and right now he could use some distraction. Anything would do. He disliked having to deal with such things but it was his duty and not being here for so long made things pile up. Usually his kingdom was very quiet but not so much lately. He tried to be a diplomat and diverge war from going on but sometimes there were those that just wanted to fight. He should hope nothing like that would happen while Rin was staying here but if it should he would just return her to the village. A demon war was no place for her. He quieted them down again for now but who knew when it would pick up again? After that he needed to just sit down and rest for a while. He could hear Rin scampering about just beyond the door and so he opened it to find her barefoot again, tiptoeing past his door but when she saw that it was open she was like a deer caught in someone's path.
"Oh um...sorry did I disturb you my lord? I was trying my best to be quiet. I know you're relaxing."
"It's fine. Come here."
Rin almost tripped trying to put her shoes back on quickly then went straight to him. He went back into the room making her follow him like she always did, like a lost puppy. He seemed to be writing up something so he wasn't at all really relaxing, a lord never does rest. There was always work to be done when actually at your castle. Lots of documents to go over and sign. He could use some company at least if he was going to trudge through all of this. He wanted nothing more than for her to sit there and she seemed to understand that without him saying anything. He liked that about her, she understood him even if he stayed silent, she could read him well. He didn't like using so many words nor was he good at expressing himself, being a rather silent person by nature. It worked out for him that she had been around him long enough to know what he wanted or what he meant if all he said was one thing or nothing at all. She sat there for a while then asked him if she could sing for him.
"If you want to, it wouldn't bother me."
Rin was pleased by that answer because she loved to sing and she was told by the villagers she had a pleasing voice. She thought maybe he would like it too so she opened her mouth and began to sing a song that he recognized, one that she sang as a child but she added on a few extra lyrics. Sesshomaru's pen halted in the middle of the kanji he was writing as he heard her voice, truly singing not playfully like she was when with the children but bursting out at the seams, energetic and absolutely pure and exploding with emotion for him. Her voice mounted and rose like a bird soaring above the clouds, full of passion. It was full of her child like whimsy, like a flute as a person, not the most grandiose of voices but beautiful none the less and coming from him that was something. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, just listening to her and nothing else. Sadly it ended too soon for his liking causing him to look back up at her. She had a slightly sheepish face and a light blush.
"That's...as far as I've gotten with the song...is...is it good?" She inquired expectantly, eyes sparkling with hope.
"It's..." he searched for the right word to say, something that would express how he felt and yet didn't at all. Something vague and not deep. "good."
"...Oh. I mean thank you my lord..." She replied, tugging at one of her strands of hair. "Happy you enjoyed it."
"It was beautiful," he admitted, having had her coax it out of him with her obviously upset voice. That caused her to perk up and cause a lovely smile to appear on her face. That was better he didn't like Rin with a sad face. Did she honestly care that much about what he thought about her voice? Of course he truthfully even just liked hearing her talk to him, her regular voice was just like her singing to him, it just was when she sang it was without restraint at all. She wanted him to hear all that she felt deep in her soul and he started to feel it reverberate in himself but as soon as it was over he shook everything off quickly...though he sincerely wanted her to continue to belt out her tune. He was wondering if she could play any instruments, he did have a few lying around somewhere.
"Rin can you play anything?"
"I can play the shamisen. I went to a tea house and learned how to do it from a pretty lady with face makeup and red lips. She did the most intricate fan dancing. I could never learn it as well as she could but I can do it a little."
"You mean a geisha?"
"That's right! She performed for us in the village, Miroku hired her for Kohaku's birthday. I've never seen him so red before. I don't know why he was though...what does a geisha do exactly? Does she just dance and entertain?"
Sesshomaru did not at all want to answer that question so he avoided it entirely. He knew exactly what they did because his father was fond of them, a little too fond for his liking because most of the ones he went to go see were plain humans. Not too many demonesses lowered themselves to be entertainers like that, especially the high pedigree kind, the ones too snooty to even go into a poor village just to cross the road. His mother was always so ashamed of his father, as much as he was a revered and dignified man he did like to go out drinking and was too obvious with his wandering eye. It didn't bother his mother until of course he flat out was found out to be with a human woman. It was one thing to look and even think about it but a whole different thing to actually get in bed with one. The one he ended up cheating on her with was the one he left her for, Izayoi. He was in love with the human woman. He and Lady Tsukiakari, his mother, married out of duty, for formality, for unity. He cared for Tsuki, as he would often call her, but not in the same way he did for Izayoi. That was true love what he felt for her.
He and Lady Tsukiakari were friends since childhood, betrothed at birth, it was always expected of them but one would think knowing each other for centuries would create some love. She loved him to an extent but once he left her for another her heart broke and she swore never to love again. The only other person she loved was her dear son who was so much like herself, so statuesque, noble, loyal to his own kind. That was until she saw that little girl and was shown just how much he cared for her. Unfortunately it seemed the weakness for human women ran deep in his father's offspring and strangely enough all the women looked similar so they all shared the same tastes. The lady could tell that little girl worshiped her son and her son would move the tides just to see her smile. It was, to her, only a matter of time before he too, like his father, sadly plummeted down to the very bottom. She would never disown him or disgrace him, it was his choice and she would always love him, but she would feel betrayed again. Still, she supposed it was best to be with someone you loved than with someone you were forced to be with, she had learned that the hard way.
Sesshomaru had a million reasons not to forgive his father but since he was so close to his mother seeing Inutasiho leave her for a basic looking mortal woman pissed him off. She wasn't even nearly as attractive as his mother, no woman could ever amount to that. No pitiful excuse for a human was ever even close to being good looking to him, they were all the same and all of them nagging and dishonest and he saw it himself through Kikyo, betrayous and sometimes even heartless. Then Rin came along and opened his eyes, she was so different than any human he had met, not that he met many. It might have been because she was a child but he truly felt she just was unique, she was so soulful, so honest, so charitable, loving, playful, sympathetic, and above all she had the loyalty that marks all canine demons. He could appreciate that if nothing else and none of those traits left her, she was just more...womanly now, some of those traits matured with her but never vanished. It made him feel light in his heart to know that she had not been corrupted by the mortal world, she was still his Rin and would always come back to him.
Also she wasn't ugly by any means, that would be callous of him to even think it. He would never call Rin ugly but she was...pretty. Very pretty. He certainly could pick her out from a crowd so she showed him that no not all humans looked alike, she looked nothing like anyone else...not like any other women he had ever seen. Sensing that her lord didn't want to discuss geisha's for whatever reason, must be something she wasn't old enough to know yet she supposed, she changed the topic. She asked him if he had a shamisen and if so where it was at. He told her it was behind a screened door in that ballroom area. She knew of it since she looked around and wanted to know if he wanted her to play. He stated as evenly toned and as nonchalantly as always that it was fine with him. He didn't want to seem enthused about the idea. When she came back with it, sat down and started to strum he went back to his work. She played it well, not perfectly but well.
"How does it sound? Too loud?"
"It's nice, keep playing."
He couldn't see her smile with his back turned but he could feel it. She could make the crankiest iciest people grin like madmen. She could break anyone, even him, if he wasn't so damned stubborn about it. He forced his mouth not to move an inch near her, though he was very capable of smiling and had done it before but it was always not on the pleasant side, a bit twisted or not right. Whenever he smiled, people ran. She had a very attractive smile, in all definitions. People just seemed to want to be near her and really, he supposed he couldn't blame them. Rin continued her playing for him and the hours seemed to pass by. The calm was interrupted by her stomach growling and he would not have her be hungry so she was fed post haste. After dinner was over she went right back to playing for him even as it got later into the night.
"Rin, aren't you tired?"
"Of playing? No my lord."
"I meant aren't you ready for bed?"
"Oh...well I suppose I could go to sleep. I just figured..." 'What?' she asked herself, 'that he wants you here all night with him? Don't be so silly! We're probably bothering him right now. He has a lot of paperwork and we should go on our way.' "Nothing. Never mind."
"You know I don't like when you do that. Just say what you want to say. You don't need to be afraid of speaking your mind to me."
"My lord...I can't speak everything that's inside my head...you'd think I'm senseless," she clarified, flicking the tassel that hung off her obi. "or worse."
He turned to her in his chair but she didn't notice, too occupied with looking at the tassel she was playing with or counting the stitches at the base of her kimono. Then she started to worry her hair so much that one of the sticks fell out of it causing part of her hair to come loose. The object fell to the ground with a small clink. Sesshomaru picked it up before she could even wonder what happened. He looked at the thing like it was something he had never seen then looked back at her before moving his hand through her hair with diligence like he was used to doing this. After so many times of helping his mother when he was smaller he was no stranger to women's hair things, the one he had held had just brought back a strange memory of when his mother used one of her hair pins to stab someone in the neck, explaining to him that in battle everything is a weapon. He placed it back into her hair, moving some out of her face only to have a piece fall back out, bouncing as if to mock him for his attempt. He stroked it with his fingers, sliding along it until he got to the flip at the end.
"Th...thank...you..."
"You..." one part of him wanted to say what he meant, even though he would tell Rin to say what she meant he could never do it himself. He wanted to say she looked better without them but he didn't. He made something else come out of his mouth. "You're welcome."
"I suppose I ought to go to sleep then..."
"What were you going to say?"
"I...I just...thought that you...wanted me near you...the whole night...but that's stupid of me to think or even to say."
"No...it's not," his smooth silky voice replied, fixing his pupils to hers. "I don't want you to stay up all night for me though."
"I wouldn't mind...but if my lord thinks I should rest then I'll go to bed. Can I play for you again tomorrow?"
He nodded his head yes and for some reason unknown to him she hugged him then she let go quickly, internally slapping herself for doing that but he stopped her from running away to go hide in her room.
"Don't be so ashamed of your actions."
"How can I not be? It's improper for me to do that to you. Once was enough."
"Who said it was improper?"
"I don't know...I just figured I'm and you're...I shouldn't be doing that. I'm not a kid anymore."
"Rin..." He felt exasperated because there was a part of him that was tugging at his mind telling him to just say it, for once just speak to her, tell her what he meant to say but yet again he did not. "if that is how you feel...then so be it. Sleep well."
"Lord Sesshomaru..." She sighed to herself and left hurriedly. If only he knew just exactly how she felt but he'd never understand how much she wanted to hold him and touch him. She never wanted to stop hugging him she was just making excuses to stop doing it for his sake. He must keep his modesty and besides he didn't want it. She took off all her things and went to bed, huffing and puffing about all of this. Now she could never hug him again because she had told him she was too grown up for that but that wasn't the truth. She would hug him until the end of time if she could but she couldn't to save his image and to spare him from having to deal with her girlish actions. She knew he didn't like it, he just was dealing with her because he didn't want to upset her. She hugged her pillow to her body imagining it was him and wrapped her legs around it too.
"Oh Sesshomaru..." She weakly half moaned into the pillow, both with want and misery.
He could hear her clear as crystal because he was standing right outside her room. He stood there with his hand frozen in the air, about to knock on the door but stopped himself, both because of how positively unlike himself this was and because that noise and her saying his name without the proper title. It went right through him. He shook his head and left as soon as he came, trying to ignore this aching feeling gnawing inside of him that was growing even as he tried to suppress it. Deep way deep down inside of him where all his secrets lie, he didn't want her to go like that and he didn't mind at all her holding onto him. If he was more human it would have kept him up all night but he was up anyways, tearing away at any inkling of an idea but it kept popping up like a groundhog. Rin was wrong in her thoughts, of what she assumed of him, he did in fact want her to hug him again. More specifically he wanted her to touch him and he loathed how much he wanted it and that he felt it at all.
