Let's Build on This

Okay, okay here we go, chapter four is here and lemme just vent for a sec, writing this was so painful like yoh! Zuko didn't deserve what happened to him and going into the details of his scar was a lot, I mean just hearing him scream in "The Storm" was painful enough, writing him in so much pain made me hurt as well, like noooo not my fave going through so much. Whew okay I'm done, at least until the bottom authors notes, haha. Anyways let's get into it.

Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender doesn't belong to me.


Chapter 4: Scars and Healing pt2

Zuko kneeled on his side of the ring, his back to his opponent as the last of his nerves settled. The audience grew silent as Zuko stood and the shoulder garment fell to the floor while Zuko faced his opponent. The moment the garment hit the ground, Zuko felt his heart stop. Nothing could've prepared him for the person standing on the other side of the ring.

There in all his terrifying power and presence stood Firelord Ozai, his father.

It wasn't a cold day by any means but, Zuko felt a chill run down his spine. What was his father doing here? Where was the general he was supposed to face? He involuntarily began trembling and his heartrate skyrocketed, his breathing was unsteady. Duel his own father? Unfathomable! Zuko respected his father and he wanted his father to accept and acknowledge him the way he did Azula but, deep down Zuko was also terrified of his father. He could feel the crushing fear grow as his father walked towards him, his intimidating figure drawing closer. There was no way he could fight his father, absolutely not so he got on his knees and asked for forgiveness.

Zuko sincerely explained that he only had the country's best interest at heart but his father completely dismissed his words and insisted that the prince would fight for his honour, he continued approaching. Zuko lowered his head and entire body and bowed as low as he could, trying once again to explain that he meant his father no disrespect, that he was his loyal son but, his father kept approaching. Zuko could feel the tears welling up, his vision blurred. Why was this happening? Why could he never do anything to please his father?

The Firelord's authoritative voice commanded him to rise and fight, addressing him by his prince title but Zuko didn't listen, he couldn't move, the way he was petrified on the spot. He couldn't fight his father. Firelord Ozai's frightening figure loomed over Zuko, his voice threatening. His father's words rang in his ears, he did nothing to fight his trembling body, his fingers pressed to the ground and curled so hard that they began to hurt. His tearful eyes looked up to meet his father's menacing ones. Tears continuously flowed down his face, his eyes pleading for mercy.

"You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher." The Firelord spoke from above the prince.

Those were the last words Zuko heard from his father before he was blinded by heat and flames. The last thing he saw was fire approaching his face that had left his father's hand. For the next ten agonising seconds, Zuko's throat hurt from screaming, his eyes squeezed shut as much as they could while the left side of his face was subjected to devastating, excruciating, mind splitting, scorching pain. He could feel his skin giving in and melting due to the intense flames concentrated on him at point blank range. All he could hear was the roar of the flames and his own screams until all sound began to drain from his deteriorating left ear.

The cruel deed was done, the entire chamber was silent save for Zuko's tortured screams. He fell to the floor after the assault, the white-hot burning sting from his face wouldn't cease. He was choking on his own sobs, the pain too intense for tears to leave his eyes. His entire body writhed in pain and he grit his teeth as if to will the pain to stop. Zuko tried to open his eyes but even the slightest twitch from his face sent waves of hurt through him, even breathing was painful, his lungs tired from releasing his pained screams.

His father paid him no mind and disinterestedly walked away as soon as it was over. As soon as the Firelord left, the spectators left as well in slow groups. They were still silent as if the Firelord's display of wrath and dominance was slightly directed at them as well.

Zuko vaguely heard footsteps approaching him and he hoped with everything he had that it wasn't his father, the gentle touch on his shoulder told him that it wasn't. It was his uncle and he was beyond relieved. He couldn't hear much and it was still too painful to open his eyes, his head pounding and throbbing like it would blow up, but relief washed over him just knowing that his uncle was there.

Xxx

A few hours had passed, Zuko slowly stirred. He didn't know how or when he was moved but when he regained consciousness he knew he was in a different room. The familiarity of the soft mattress told him that he was back in his bedroom. His body felt heavy as lead, his throat scratchy and sore but at least his eyes didn't feel like they were glued shut. In fact, compared to earlier, his face was in a bearable amount of pain. He slowly raised his hand to his face, bandages were wrapped around the left of his face. His wound had been treated while he was unconscious and now he was alone in his room, the silence deafening. Alone with his thoughts, Zuko played that moment over and over again. It hadn't happened too long ago and yet, it felt like it was an eternity ago.

His father had arrived to face him in an Agni Kai, he'd refused to fight and he'd paid for it- dearly. His father had burned his face. No- he thought again - for showing shameful weakness, his father had rightfully punished him. The son of The Firelord shouldn't have behaved in that way. He tried to justify what had just happened.

A few minutes later he heard a knock at his door before it opened and his uncle walked in. His uncle's footsteps were barely audible as he crossed the carpeted floor to Zuko's right side. From the look on his face he could tell his uncle didn't only come to check on him. The retired general sat on the side of his bed, a serious look took over his features. Zuko tried to sit up but his uncle's gentle hand on his shoulder urged him not to.

"Did my father say anything?" he asked, nervous to learn the answer and Iroh's silence wasn't helping.

"How are you feeling?" Iroh dodged the question. The news he'd brought with him was far from good and he didn't want to add on to his nephew's pain.

"Uncle..." he let out a breath and prepared for whatever was coming. "Please, just tell me." He could tell his uncle was uncomfortable. Iroh sighed and straightened up, his face focused as he gathered his thoughts.

"The Firelord, released a decree," he took out a page from his pocket and unfolded it. "Prince Zuko, who not only spoke out of turn but also showed weakness and disgrace during his Agni Kai with Firelord Ozai," Zuko immediately winced at the mention of his disgrace, "Is hereby banished from his homeland, The Fire Nation. And as punishment for his act of complete disrespect, he is tasked with capturing The Avatar. Only once The Avatar is in his custody shall he be permitted to return home with honour," Iroh finished reading the decree and looked at Zuko. To say he was surprised would be an understatement.

Zuko remained still, trying to process what he'd just heard and thinking about everything was making his head hurt, he could feel a headache coming.

"Was I wrong, uncle? Was defending those soldiers' lives the wrong thing to do?" his voice was low but the hurt was clear.

"Zuko, I promise you, nothing you said in there was wrong. Throwing away those lives is a terrible idea." Iroh answered truthfully and Zuko's next words devastated him.

"Then why...?" his voice was trembling. "Why is this happening? Why am I being punished like this? Am I such a disgrace that my father can't stand the sight of me?" question after question he posed, trying to come terms with everything as tears left his only good eye. Will I ever be a good enough son? Zuko turned on his side so his uncle wouldn't see him so defeated but he knew his uncle knew he was crying. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare, he wanted to move on from this like it had never happened. He didn't want to feel so worthless, and he didn't want his father to think of him as worthless.

"You are no disgrace, Zuko. This dark period doesn't define you." he tried to reassure him but he knew his nephew probably couldn't hear him. After today's events there was no way he could take in his uncle's words. He didn't even know where to begin explaining to him that his punishment more than greatly surpassed his crime, if you could even call his actions criminal as opposed to childish. But no child deserved this degree of scorn and reprehension. Iroh stood up and headed to the door, Zuko's mind and body needed to rest. He was far from done suffering.

A few hours later Zuko woke up, it was night time when he slowly got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. He turned to the mirror and took in his appearance, it was his first time seeing himself after the duel. He looked terrible, his eye was red from the tears he'd shed, he looked exhausted even though he'd just woken up from sleep and the most standout part of his appearance were the bandages over his eye. He felt a tightness in his chest when he realised there was still one thing he had to do for his appearance to be complete.

He opened the drawer by the sink and took out the razor blade. He stared at the blade glistening in the light and looked at himself one last time with his dark brown hair pulled into a top knot. He thought over the rules of an Agni Kai and what must be done when you lose. His grip on the handle of the blade tightened, he slowly exhaled and began to carefully shave his head. His hair fell to the floor like dying leaves from a tree. More and more, shave after shave, bit by bit his appearance began to change. By the time he was done, he could barely recognise himself, his top knot all that remained. Even though there was no one present, he felt completely dishonoured, he truly felt like a failure.

This was who he was now, until he could bring The Avatar to his father and regain his honour, he was disgraced,

Abandoned by his nation and his father,

He was the scarred, banished prince.


"For so long, even though I was doing everything I could to find The Avatar, to find Aang, I was convinced that that was all I'd ever be. Part of me believed I'd be a failure forever." he sighed, it was finally out. He'd finally told the full story of his scar and his banishment and it had taken a lot out of him. Even though it was just the two of them in his room, it felt heavier like the very air itself was weighed down and had taken in his story.

The two of them were silent, only the sound of the poring rain and the thunder from a far away distance filled the room. Zuko kept his eyes on Katara, he could see that she was still absorbing everything. They weren't sitting how they had been when she'd first arrived, now Katara sat on the empty side of his bed, her body facing him as she'd watched and listened to him speak. After a few seconds in thought, Katara met his gaze and he was surprised to see tears formed in her eyes. Not trying to hide them, she blinked and they fell down her cheeks. Before he could say anything about it, she'd wrapped her arms around him and held him close. Her body was warm against his own, her head on his shoulder, he could feel her tears soaking his shirt. Getting over the surprise, he hugged her back. Katara, still leaning on him with her arms around him, turned her head to the side so he could hear her.

"You didn't deserve that." she started, her hand brushing through the back of his hair, "You didn't deserve any of it."

Even though he'd come to the same conclusion that he didn't deserve to be treated the way he was and that his father had no right abusing him like that, hearing it from someone else comforted him, especially from Katara whom he cared so deeply for. He hugged her a little tighter after that. He liked having her in his arms.

As soon as the hug ended, Katara caressed his left cheek and he closed his eyes as her hand traced over his scar. It was reminiscent of when she'd done the same thing back in Ba Sing Se, she'd put her hand over his scar back then too. The sensation of her gentle caring was the same as back then if not even more intense. Even back then she'd cared. She'd shown him gentleness and kindness back then when they were supposed to be enemies but, the more he got to know her, the more he realised that it was in her nature. Her beautiful, healing nature to be gentle, to be kind.

This time however, she traced over his scar with understanding, with sympathy, with sadness. Now she knew his story and her soft hands tracing over his skin was her way of taking it in fully as well as communicating that she was here with him, she wouldn't abandon him because of his past. When he'd told her his story he was expecting her to reach out and touch his scar but, what he wasn't expecting was for her to press her lips over his left eye. He tensed slightly as she kissed his scar and opened his eyes when she pulled away. She could see the slight confusion on his face, with a small smile on her face she held his hand.

"I agree with what you said back then, that you are free to determine your own destiny. You're also free determine who you are as well. And this..." her thumb traced over his scar, "Doesn't define you, it isn't all there is to you, I wanted to show you that."

Zuko thought back to their conversation back then, when he'd opened up to her, when they'd opened up to each other. Something in him stirred, his chest tightened, he couldn't wrap his head around how completely accepting she was of him, of his past and his story. She'd shed tears for him, embraced him and even kissed his scar. Did he even deserve something and someone like this in his life? Did he deserve all this love he was being given? Could he really have something this amazing in his life without their being a downside? He didn't know for sure.

He just couldn't understand it so he stopped trying to and decided to be present in that moment with her. He'd pressed his forehead against hers and could feel her breath on his cheek. He never wanted this moment to end.

"Thank you." He hoped his sincerity carried through those two words.

Katara threaded their fingers together and at the same time they both leaned in until their lips met in a gentle, loving kiss. Zuko's arms immediately went around her as she leaned into him, pressed against his chest, and deepened the kiss. Their first kiss was as great as they thought it would be. Zuko enjoyed the feeling of her soft lips against his own and pulled back slightly only to kiss her again. He wanted nothing more than to keep her in his arms, keep kissing her but eventually their first kiss had ended.

"I can't even begin to explain how much your words mean to me, how much you mean to me." He looked into her stunning ocean eyes.

"Well starting now, I guess you'll just have to show me." she kissed him on the cheek before hugging him again and he more than gladly hugged back. He would do it, whatever and however much love she gave him he wanted to reciprocate ten fold, he'd show her and make her feel as loved and happy and whole as she made him feel. They'd officially crossed the boundary to being together and both were elated by the thought of it.

After another moment together, they said goodnight and Katara went back to her room. Now the storm didn't seem so frightening like it had been when it woke her up. As she got into the blankets, her heart still hadn't completely calmed down from her first, amazing kiss with Zuko. She rested her head against her pillow with a smile on her face, their moment together being the last thing on her mind before she fell asleep.


And that's that, chapter four done. My version of events of Zuko's first Agni Kai. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I certainly went through a lot writing it, like honestly speaking I got teary eyed while writing, agh I do not enjoy putting Zuko through pain. Like I even went to watch the scene where Zuko calls out his father for everything he did in Day of Black Sun pt2, cuz that's such a powerful Zuko moment. So I went from writing him just getting his scar to watching him confronting his father about getting his scar. But nonetheless, painful as it was I did enjoy this chapter and what it did for Katara and Zuko.