Moving to a university dorm had not been Shinichi's first choice, but his parents had finally decided owning a small mansion in central Tokyo that they barely used wasn't worth the property tax and had chosen to sell the place. In the end, arranging for a dorm room had proven easier than trying to rent a full apartment, so Shinichi's choice was obvious. It was also cheaper than a similarly central apartment would have been, though his parents were paying so that was mostly a matter of pride on his part. He also thought the idea of a roommate sounded fun, at least in the controlled environment of a dorm where he could turn to the staff for conflict resolution should the need arrive.
What he'd not been prepared for was the face that greeted him when he stepped into the dorm that first day.
For a moment Shinichi thought it was Okuda-kun, though double checking the name tags on the door it said his roommate was someone named 'Kuroba Kaito'.
"Hey roomy!" his doppelganger said with a cheerful smile that very much did not fit Okuda's personality (even with the update Shinichi had received that Okuda had been responding well to his therapy).
"We look-"
"Like twins? I know. It's great," the other lad said, still smiling away. "There's so many pranks we do."
"You seem strangely calm for having just found out you have a doppelganger," Shinichi replied.
Logically, he should have been a bit more used to it by now, with how often it happened, but having his roommate look so much like him was not something he'd prepared for.
"Dude, you're on national TV all the time. I've known what you look like for years," Kuroba replied. "Hakuba likes to say I'm the evil twin sometimes."
"Fair," Shinichi replied quietly. "...wait, as in Hakuba Saguru?"
Kuroba had remained a headache as the days stretched into weeks. While Shinichi had gotten used to the similar faces, he didn't think he'd ever get used to living with the other lad. He simply had too much energy for non-academic activities. Kuroba was also smart enough to manage to surprise Shinichi with pranks. It was good practice for his detective skills, at least, and left Shinichi glad Kuroba wasn't an actual criminal. He'd no doubt be as aggravating as Kid if he took up the criminal life.
It was bad enough that Kuroba was a massive Kid fan, decorating their shared pod with memorabilia and dressing up in full cosplay sometimes.
Shinichi had slowly gotten better at tuning Kuroba's nonsense out, but he wasn't perfect at it. So he heard Kuroba's oddly genuine groan that afternoon.
"Ah man, I'm out of tea already? I thought I had a couple more left," the messy haired lad muttered, staring into a box on his side of the kitchen. "Hmm... If I make an appointment now I'll probably only miss a couple of months."
"I should have some tea?" Shinichi offered, getting to his feet. Maybe it could serve as a start to peace negotiations that would give him a break from Kuroba's incessant pranks. (He wasn't sure what the 'appointment' part was, but assumed that was an unrelated thought. Kuroba switched topics without warning quite often.)
The other lad stared at him with an oddly surprised look. Had Shinichi really seemed like such a stingy roommate?
"I should have some kombucha, genmaicha, matcha... there's probably some hojicha left over from what Heiji brought me. Or I have western teas? English Breakfast or Orange Pekoe? I might have some Masala Chai too," he offered, opening up his cupboard.
Kuroba just stared at him at first. Then he broke into laughter. Shinichi blinked a few times as his roommate got the giggling fit under control.
"Thanks, but it's not that type of tea, Kudo," the other lad replied, wiping a few tears of laughter from his eyes.
Shinichi watched in confusion as Kuroba walked off to his bedroom, continuing to laugh as he went.
Shinichi felt confused yet again as he saw Kuroba walk out of his bedroom in a white sports jacket and pants over a lime green v-necked shirt. As Kuroba walked closer (heading to their 'pod' 's genkan), Shinichi also realised he was wearing lime green eyeshadow with mascara.
"It's called a party outfit, Kudo," the other lad said with a grin as he pulled out some dress shoes.
"On a Wednesday night?" Shinichi replied.
Kuroba shrugged. "We're at the University of Tokyo. As long as we pass our classes our grades don't matter. The diploma is all anyone looks at. So why not have some fun?"
Shinichi felt his eye twitch. University was about learning, not what others thought of you.
"Toodles," Kaito said before popping out the door.
Shinichi didn't see him again until Sunday afternoon. Kuroba looked worse than several of the corpses Shinichi had seen in his career as a detective.
On Monday, when he finally resembled one of the living again, Kuroba swore he was done with parties. He seemed to actually follow through with that promise, though Shinichi had been a bit distracted from checking due to Kid returning with a vengeance after a brief hiatus.
Shinichi still wasn't used to dragging himself out of bed for 8am classes, but did so reluctantly all the same. The actual class was interesting, as long as he had enough coffee in his system to process it. He stumbled to the kitchen of the small pod, barely noticing that the light was on in the bathroom as he dug out a can of iced coffee from the fridge. Downing that can, it took a few more moments for him to realise that the bathroom light being on meant Kuroba was up. That was something of a miracle. Kuroba was less of a morning person than he was.
It took another moment for Shinichi to realise the sounds coming from the bathroom indicated Kuroba was rather ill. Concerned, Shinichi walked over and knocked on the door.
"You ok in there?"
"Muhh," Kuroba moaned. "I'm alive... I think."
"Broke your oath not to party again, did you?" Shinichi asked.
He heard the toilet flush and the sink begin running. Kuroba opened the door a few moments later, looking sickly pale.
"No... Probably a stomach bug or something," Kuroba muttered, rubbing his eye.
Shinichi nodded. "Hopefully it passes soon."
Shinichi also hoped it wasn't contagious.
Kid heists broke up the monotony of school a little. Murders did the same, but generally impacted Shinichi's sleep more than heists. Even after all these years and so many bodies, Shinichi still tended to have nightmares after most murder cases.
"I need more men than this to guard the Jade Falcon!" Inspector Nakamori shouted as Shinichi did another round of the private collection.
"After seeing the property damage your men did to the last museum you were 'guarding' you're lucky I let you in at all," the owner of the Falcon replied.
Shinichi mostly ignored the bickering. Nakamori had been trying to get the full task force brought in since the heist announcement dropped. It was unlikely the owner would change his opinion at the last minute. Instead, Shinichi checked his watch. It was nearly time for-
The lights went out.
"Llllaaaaaadies and gentlemen!" Kid's voice called out.
One light turned back on. The display light pointed at a suit of samurai armour in the corner. Only the suit of armour was now posed with its arms out dramatically.
"A bit less of an audience than I usually get, but I suppose that just makes things cozier," Kid said, stepping forward in the antique armour.
"Kid! Get him!" Ginzo shouted to the four guards present in the room.
The officers charged ahead, tackling Kid. The owner of the Jade Falcon (and of the armour Kid was wearing) let out a panicked cry as a puff of smoke enveloped the dogpile.
"That's a 14th century antique!" the man shouted.
"Some people really do have no appreciation for the arts," Kid's voice said, standing behind the man.
Shinichi wasn't sure how he moved quite so fast, but that was Kid. He'd probably slipped out of the armour before getting tackled. Shinichi moved to try to cuff him all the same, but then Kid zapped the Falcon's owner with a stun gun, forcing Shinichi to catch the portly man.
Struggling with the weight, to ensure the man didn't hurt himself on the stepped floor, Shinichi could only watch as Kid slipped over to the display case. The lock clicked open in Kid's hands so fast Shinichi was sure he'd tampered with it ahead of time. There was no way someone could pick a lock that fast.
Kid's eyes seemed to glisten with tears of happiness as he looked his prize over. Shinichi didn't think it was all that impressive of a win, but perhaps this jade statuette had some deeper value than Shinichi knew?
Whatever was going on, Nakamori chose the moment to try to tackle Kid. The phantom thief barely dodged, seeming still a little distracted.
"You never give up, do you Inspector?" Kid said, smiling away as he dodged a handcuff Nakamori was trying to latch around his wrist.
"Of course not. I'm going to catch you one of these days!" Nakamori bellowed.
Shinichi blinked, as he swore actual tears were running down Kid's face. He'd finally managed to set the owner of the Falcon down, and had been planning to charge in himself, but Kid's behaviour was just so odd. Then Kid slipped forward and pulled Nakamori into a hug, tears definitely running down his face now.
"It's so nice to know how much you care about me and your job and everything else," Kid said.
Nakamori, for his part, seemed in the middle of short circuiting. Shinichi, likewise, had no idea how to respond to that. Both of them didn't figure out a response until Kid had let go and slipped off down the hallway.
Shinichi got back from the heist (and the paperwork that followed) late enough that it was too late to bother trying to sleep. He decided to grab a caffeine boosted can of coffee and flopped onto the couch in his pod's living room. He flipped the tv on to a 24 hour news channel to try to stay awake.
Despite his best efforts, he'd definitely started dozing when the sound of Kuroba's door slamming open jolted him awake. He turned in time to see Kuroba slipping into the bathroom. His roommate made a vague effort to close the bathroom door, but it was too sloppy to actually work. Shinichi heard the retching that followed.
Concerned, he hopped to his feet and headed over, knocking on the door frame. Kuroba looked up at him from the toilet, still looking rather green.
"Do you think it's some sort of food intolerance, maybe?" Shinichi asked.
Kuroba opened his mouth briefly, closed it quickly to forcibly swallow, then nodded.
"That might make sense," he offered softly.
Shinichi's nose was assaulted by a strange cacophony of smells as he stepped into the pod. Pulling his shoes off, he headed over to the kitchen, where he found Kuroba with a large bowl of pasta in front of him. There was a white sauce on it, but, also, something that looked rather like curry sitting on top. Piecing the smells together, Shinichi realised it smelled rather a lot like curry too.
"What in the world are you eating?" he asked, staring at the saucy mess with mild disgust.
"I was craving alfredo sauce. But, also, curry. So I split the difference," Kuroba replied with an oddly confident grin.
Shinichi gave a slow nod, walking past the other lad to drop his backpack in his room. Reaching the door of his bedroom, a thought struck him that made him chuckle. "Heh, between being sick in the morning and weird food cravings... if I didn't know better I'd suspect you were pregnant."
Shinichi turned back to his room, to put his backpack down, when he heard Kuroba's chopsticks drop on the table. Shinichi glanced over his shoulder to see Kuroba staring at him with a wide eyed expression.
"It was just a joke," Shinichi said, not sure why his roommate would respond like that.
"Y-your right. I... I've been really emotional too... oh gods. I... I didn't think I'd been off my meds for long enough to... I need to go buy a pregnancy test!" Kuroba blurted, scrambling to his feet.
Shinichi watched the other man scramble out the door completely confused about what just happened. Kuroba had seemed intelligent. Had he really paid so little attention in health class?
Shaking his head, Shinichi crashed in bed, managing to pass out roughly as soon as his head hit the pillow. He slept nicely until a shout from Kuroba startled him into falling out of his bed. That was an efficient way to wake up, if an unpleasant one.
Shinichi scrambled over to the bathroom where Kuroba was staring down at a little plastic pregnancy test with a pale face.
Kuroba turned to him, eyes wide with panic. "I-I'm pregnant."
"You're not pregnant," Shinichi muttered. "Men don't exactly have the necessary parts for that. You probably just did the test wrong."
Kuroba's panic faded to confusion. "You... you really didn't realise that I'm... I don't know if I'm flattered that you think I pass so well, or concerned that you didn't clue in."
"Clue in to what?" Shinichi replied.
"I'm trans," Kuroba said. "I've been on puberty blockers since I was fifteen, and testosterone since I was seventeen, but... well, I ran out like two months ago and didn't have a doctor's appointment to get a prescription refill until next week. So, I guess I managed to lapse long enough for things to wake back up down there. The endocrinologist did say my dosage was a bit low..."
"Oh... I... but how did you get pregnant?" Shinichi asked. He would process the surprise about his roommate being trans (and his missing it) later by grasping on to the things he knew and could work with.
"Hmm... well, if I'm having morning sickness, and food cravings... I think that's at about the one month mark? So... oh, I guess it was at one of those parties," Kuroba said, scratching his chin. "That whole weekend is kind of a blur."
Shinichi gave a slow nod, still processing that the guy across from him could actually be pregnant. Briefly, some part of his brain remembered how alike they looked, and a worry shot through the more primal part of his brain that he could get pregnant if he wasn't careful. At least he could dismiss that fear easily. He was reasonably certain that he wasn't secretly trans without realising it. And he'd only ever been in an intimate relationship with Shiho, who certainly couldn't get anyone pregnant.
...at least not without extensive use of her lab?
"I suppose we should try to find the father then?" Shinichi asked, shaking off thoughts of his girlfriend's more mad scientist tendencies.
"I'm right here?" Kuroba replied.
"Oh. That... I-sorry. Um... the other father?" Shinichi said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
This was going to take some getting used to.
"Eh. I'm not overly concerned. I think I could handle a kid on my own," Kuroba said, a grin spreading across his face. "I'm pretty exceptional like that... plus, the other parent might actually be a mom."
Shinichi blinked, tilting his head in confusion. "How?"
Kaito stared at him. "Trans women are also a thing, Kudo. Since I lean mostly straight, I figure it's roughly 50/50 on if the other parent is a guy or a girl."
That confused and primal part of Shinichi's brain from earlier voiced up the opinion that if Shiho needed to get him pregnant for them to have a kid he'd probably be fine with that. While the rational part of his brain was able to point out that was an impossibility, he had to admit that he would do whatever he could to help Shiho be a mother.
He shook those thoughts from his head, though. They weren't relevant to the issue at hand.
"Well, either way: we should figure out who the other parent is. Even if you don't think you need the help, don't they deserve to know they'll have a child?" Shinichi asked.
Kaito shrugged. "I guess. I don't really remember too much about that weekend, though. So trying to track down what happened won't be easy."
"Well, luckily for you, your roommate happens to be the best living detective in Japan," Shinichi said with a grin.
"Right, the Marple of the new Millenium," Kuroba replied with a nod.
Shinichi's eye twitched. "No. I know it's a shame we can't use Heisei Holmes anymore, but... we're not using that."
Kuroba let out a disappointed noise.
"I do have to say, you've gotten over your initial panic quickly," Shinichi noted as Kuroba washed his hands.
Kuroba shrugged. "It was a surprise, but I can handle it. I'm good at improvising. And I was hoping to have a kid this way eventually. That's why I fudged my paperwork."
"Pardon?" Shinichi asked, not sure what paperwork had to do with anything.
"Japanese law is disgustingly obtuse on trans issues. You're supposed to be chemically sterilized to get legal recognition as your gender," Kuroba replied, drying his hands off. "I was able to get some help to fake that... ooh, that means this baby is going to be a crime baby. I'm definitely keeping it."
Kuroba smiled away to himself, repeating the phrase 'crime baby' as he walked over to his bedroom.
Shinichi headed to his own room, sitting down on his bed and staring at the wall for a not insignificant period as he processed everything he'd just learned. He was going to have to research pregnancy health information, to be a decent roommate to Kaito. Shiho would probably know good resources.
After class on Friday Shinichi and Kaito headed to meet up with one of the friends who had been at the first party Kaito had gone to. Shinichi was concerned that Kaito's memories were apparently hazy as early as the first night, but kept that concern to himself as they talked things over with the friend. She confirmed that most of the people Kaito had talked with were a foreign students, who were generally lesbians.
"I think that was when Miller-san talked about how she wanted to go to Kyoto for a festival that weekend, but none of her friends were free?" she said.
"Oh! Right! That explains remembering a bunch of geisha at one point," Kaito replied. "And a train ride... didn't realise that was the shinkansen."
Shinichi turned to stare at him. "You went to Kyoto that weekend?"
"I get a bit impulsive when I'm drunk," Kaito said with a casual shrug.
"You're highly unpredictable to start with," Shinichi muttered.
"Pretty sure all the American students were saying you probably have ADHD," the lesbian friend added.
"Ok, I get more impulsive when I'm drunk," Kaito muttered. "Anyway, thanks for helping us narrow down the hunt a little."
"I'm not sure Kyoto is 'narrowing down' much of anything," Shinichi muttered at Kaito, before turning back to the woman. "Thank you for your time, though."
The pair headed out of the apartment and down the hall. As they rode the elevator down, Shinichi once again shot Kaito a stink eye.
"I was not budgeting for having to take a trip to Kyoto," he muttered as they stepped out of the building. Turning to look at the park across the street he let out a sigh. "I guess I'll have to phone my parents and ask for more money. I hate having to-"
Shinichi was cut off by Kaito's hand covering his mouth. Mumbling in muffled confusion he turned to see Kaito, in the fifteen or so seconds Shinichi had looked away, had gelled his hair down in a perfect replica of Shinichi's. He'd apparently also grabbed Shinichi's phone and dialed a number on a facecall.
"Shinichi?" Yukiko's voice called out from the phone. "This is a surprise!"
"Hey mom! It's great to see you!" Kaito said with a smile. "I've got a little problem. Heiji's challenged me to a deduction duel over in Kyoto, but I had to spend my spare money on textbooks. Could you send me a little money for the train? Please?"
With that, Kaito shot the phone puppy dog eyes that left Shinichi distinctly uncomfortable. It reminded him far too much of some of the humiliating things he'd had to do as Conan.
"Of course, sweety!" Yukiko replied. "I'll transfer you 100 000, so you can get a nice hotel room too."
"Thanks mom! I love you!" Kaito replied in a sickly sweet tone.
"Love you too! And do call again soon!"
"Of course! Bye!" Kaito said before hanging up.
He then lowered his hand and offered Shinichi his phone back. Shinichi just glared at him.
"What?" Kaito asked, with what sounded like a genuine conviction of his innocence.
"You stole my phone and then impersonated me in front of my mother."
"We both know you hate begging your parents for money. This was quicker, and less painful, for both of us," Kaito replied.
Shinichi yanked his phone from Kaito's hand. "Don't ever do that again without permission, alright?"
"Fine, fine," Kaito replied, rolling his eyes.
Sitting on the train, having bought a fairly cheap ticket, Shinichi glanced over to Kaito's empty seat. The other lad had run off to the washroom again, reinforcing that it had been correct to take the bullet train rather than a night bus. Kaito had been rather unhelpful when Shinichi suggested they look at his credit card and banking history for The Weekend where everything had happened. He supposed Kaito's insistence that he would analyze the purchases to a degree Kaito was uncomfortable with was fair enough, but he still wanted the information. All Kaito had revealed was that he'd not returned to Tokyo from Kyoto until the day he'd come home.
Sighing, Shinichi pulled out his phone, and dialed in Heiji's number. Kansai was firmly the Detective of the West's domain, and it seemed useful to phone him in. Even if Shinichi was sure he could figure things out on his own, Heiji would make it faster. And he would get to escape Heiji yelling at him if he found out Shinichi was in Kyoto and didn't call.
"Yo, what's up, Shin-kun?" Heiji asked.
Shinichi bristled at the (in his opinion lame) nickname Heiji had started using. "I'm trying to get to the bottom of a minor mystery, and the investigation is bringing me to Kyoto. As that's your neck of the woods, it seemed prudent to call for help."
"Ah, nice. It'll be good to sees ya again," Heiji replied. "When are ya coming?"
"I'm on the shinkansen currently. We're coming up on Odawara," Shinichi replied.
"Dang, you don't gives a guy much notice, do ya? Uh, well, it's kinda late for me to meet up tonight, but text me yer hotel and I'll be there first thing in the mornin'."
"Fair enough. I think my travel companion needs to have a full night's sleep anyhow," Shinichi replied.
"Oh? Anyone I know?" Heiji asked.
"No. It's my dorm roommate."
"Ah. The doppelganger," Shinichi swore he could hear a smile on Heiji's face. "Well, what, the third one?"
"Mhm. Shiho is convinced there's a cloning project involved," Shinichi replied.
Kaito had been rather less ill that morning. He insisted it had to do with the ginger tea he'd drank the night before. Shinichi still hadn't had time to do serious research. Either way, it had made it easier to head down to the lobby to wait for Heiji first thing. Kaito was busy on his phone as Shinichi vaguely watched the tv running a new channel. The lagging closed captioning on the muted television was mostly focused on a discussion on when Kid was going to give back his most recent theft.
"Ah, so it was true, your roommate is as handsome a rogue as you are, Kudo."
Shinichi glanced over his shoulder, and let out a groan as he saw Heiji had brought Okita with him.
"What? Soshi-kun knows Kyoto better than I do," Heiji said.
"I suppose that's true," Shinichi muttered as he stood up. "Well, Kuroba, what do you remember about where you went?"
"Ah, that's the good news. I found that Miller posted some photos from that weekend, and wrote the names of the bars we visited," Kaito said, flashing his phone. "Of course, since she was drunk, I'm pretty sure she got a lot of the names a little wrong... but maybe we can reverse engineer them?"
"Oooh. A skill testing riddle," Okita said, leaning over to look at the phone.
Shinichi bit his tongue about not thinking that 'riddle' was the right term, as he'd learned arguing with Okita tended to result in staring down a bokuto. He didn't want to make that mistake again. So he just stayed quiet as Heiji and Okita debated how to turn typo-ed misheard names written in romaji back into actual Japanese names. Or just relied on clues in the picture.
"Well, ruling out the male only bars, since your friend is a lesbian, I think it's safe to bet that's the one over in Higashiyama," Heiji said. "We'll start there. Most of the gay bars are near Gion-Shijo station, anyhow."
"Mhm. The gay scene is pretty limited in Kyoto," Okita added with a nod.
Shinichi blinked. He'd expected Heiji to know that (having remembered the fight Heiji and his father had had when the Detective of the West had come out as bi), but he hadn't known Okita was... presumably also bi? Gay but previously in denial? That other one with the yellow on the flag? Right, pansexual.
Shinichi briefly wondered about whether or not the term pansexual was tied to the Hellenic mythical figure Pan. The satyr was connected to sexuality, but... he didn't remember there being anything about orientation in the myths he'd read.
That train of thought had (perhaps ironically) filled up most of the train ride out to the queer corner of Kyoto. The first bar had been just a few blocks away from the river, but had generally proven a dead end. The bartender managed to remember Kaito and his friend leaving together while the evening was still barely night (Kaito having made an impression with some magic tricks). They turned back and crossed the river, seeing what Kaito could remember.
Eventually, they pieced together the second bar in the pictures for that night. Stepping in, they were then immediately shouted at.
"I TOLD HIM HE WAS BANNED!" the bartender yelled, pointing an angry finger at Kaito.
"You did?" Kaito replied. "What did I do?"
"You set off the sprinkler system with that fire breathing trick of yours!" the man shouted as he marched over. "Maybe your mother did drop by and pay for the damages, but that doesn't mean I'm letting you back in! It just means I'm not pressing charges! And I still have half a mind to if you don't leave right now!"
Kaito stared at the burly man for a moment, before his lip began to quiver. A split second later the floodgates opened and Kaito was bawling while babbling apologies. The bartender's look of confusion seemed like it would buy them a bit of leniency.
"We're just trying to piece together what happened that weekend," Shinichi replied. "Someone got pregnant, and we're not sure who the other parent is."
"Oh," the burly man said, softening a bit, before nodding. "Well, I kept his foreign friend with me for a bit. She'd been in the bathroom when he started showing off that firebreath thing. She was the one who gave me his phone as collateral, but he was gone. I don't remember if there was anyone else with them... she said she was going back to their hotel after, though. I, uh, I gave the phone back to his mother, so she should hopefully have returned it."
"Thank you," Shinichi said with a quick bow.
The other three joined in, Kaito continuing to babble and blubber away. Shinichi led him off, eventually deciding the quickest way to calm him down was probably food. An ice cream parlour across the street got Shinichi's attention and he grabbed Kaito's hand to lead him over. As Kaito was still talking about how he 'ruined that poor man's business' and then something about 'why didn't mom tell me what happened?', Shinichi ordered the most sugary and chocolate-y looking sundae available for Kaito. As they had been wandering around enough for him to be peckish, Shinichi bought a matcha milkshake for himself as well. Heiji and Okita both grabbed soft serve cones themselves.
It took a couple of minutes for sugar, ice cream, and chocolate to calm Kaito down again.
"Is there really a baby tied up in this whole mess?" Heiji asked, as Kaito stopped crying.
Kaito gave a small weak nod.
"Is it yer foreign friend that got pregnant?" Heiji asked.
Kaito shook his head, before glancing around to make sure no one else was paying too much attention. "It's, uh... me."
Okita and Heiji both stared in confusion.
"Apparently he's trans," Shinichi explained. "And I, uh, failed to notice."
"You lived with yer roommate fer, like, three months, and didn't notice he was trans?" Heiji asked.
Shinichi muttered a vague defense, but knew it really did look bad for the Detective of the East to not notice something as significant as that.
"So ya got pregnant while ya was on a bender in a different city?" Heiji said, turning to Kaito with just as much judgment.
"Uh... yeah?" Kaito offered with a weak grin.
"And now we're at a dead end, since someone apparently lost his phone and his friend at the second bar he visited," Shinichi muttered, slurping the last of his milkshake. Successful deflection of everyone's judgment off of himself. Good.
"What about yer credit and debit statements? Can ya at least tell us what bars ya visited from that?" Heiji asked.
"Uh... maybe," Kaito mumbled, pulling out his (current) phone. "Um... can I see that list of gay bars in town again?"
Heiji nodded, and pulled it up to show Kaito. After a little consulting, Kaito nodded. He had apparently bought some chicken skewers at one, though nothing else. The quartet checked that bar and found out that Kaito had actually made himself memorable. He'd stayed until closing, flirting away to get free drinks the whole time. Or doing magic tricks.
That night off the list of options, there was some frantic glegling of store names. Kaito had apparently found a candy store several blocks away. How, was anyone's guess, as he was travelling in a strange city without a phone, but he'd managed it. And spent nearly 5000 yen on candy. He'd then, apparently, spent a couple hours bar hopping in a less queer corner of town once the bars opened again. The fact that he was actually buying drinks most of the time, for himself and whatever women he was flirting with, was clearly the reason he'd headed back to the gay bars before Friday night ended. It also meant the financial trail dried up, though.
"I'm slightly frightened by the condition your liver must have been after all this," Shinichi muttered.
"Eh, sounds like he's just a lightweight. Lots a' those drinks is more fruit juice than alcohol," Heiji replied. "Y'know... I was actually in town with some university friends that Friday. I wonders if anyone of 'em saw Kuroba. Lemme try the group chat."
The quartet sat down at a cafe as Heiji waited for replies. Shinichi was enjoying a rather nice sandwich when Heiji looked at him with confusion.
"Were you in Kyoto that weekend?" Heiji asked.
"Mrm?" Shinichi said, before swallowing his mouthful of tonkatsu. "No? I had a test that Monday. Even if I were planning to party, I'd only head to Kyoto on a long weekend or something."
"Huh... 'cause when I saids ta my pals that Kuroba looked like ya, they sent me this pic," Heiji said, spinning his phone around to show what seemed to be a very drunk Heiji with an arm around what Shinichi would have sworn was himself.
Shinichi turned to Kaito with a cold glare. "That's you, isn't it?"
Kaito shrugged. "Presumably? I must have thought I could get free food or drinks off Hattori easier if he thought I was you."
"Ah, I remember that night!" Okita said, nodding away. "I forgot what day it had been, but yes! You and your kendo friends from Osaka University asked me to show you some new bars. I do recall you and what we all thought was Kudo hanging out. You two wandered off at one point... I don't remember exactly when, though."
Heiji nodded. "That's what the guys is sayin' too. I don'ts really remember much a' that night, though. I hads heard I aced a test an' had wanted ta celebrate."
"Well, I can't fill anything in," Kaito muttered.
Shinichi glanced at Heiji. He hadn't... Shinichi shook his head. Obviously they were friends. He could trust Heiji.
It had to have happened later, right?
"Ok, somebody saw Kuroba leave our hotel in the mornin'," Heiji said, having read a bit more of the group chat. "So that covers Friday night. What's on yer Saturday bank statements?"
"Looks like I hit up a CoCo Ichiban," Kaito said, scrolling on his own phone. "Ah, then I seem to have crashed at a ho-oh. That name looks like it might be a love hotel."
"A lead!" Okita declared, hoping to his feet.
"Oh yeah," the hotel attendant said, looking Kaito over. "I remember him. He looked like he'd just come out of a dip in the Sanzu river. Wanted to sleep for a couple hours. Apparently another hotel hadn't been down to let him pass out in the middle of the afternoon and leave in the evening. We're fine with that sort of visit, though."
Shinichi nodded. "And he was alone?"
"Yeah. Yeah. Pretty sure he'd have just passed out when he touched a mattress even if he hadn't been, though," the attendant replied.
"Thank you," Shinichi said.
As they left, his eyes drifted back to Heiji.
He shook his head. There was still another night unaccounted for.
"The only other thing on my statements for Saturday is a sandwich at some place called 'Momma Hen's'," Kaito replied.
Okita choked on his breath, coughing for a few moments as the others watched him.
"Y-yeah. I can see why you wouldn't have spent any money there. That's a bar for cougars," Okita replied. "It's, well, it's a very nice place to get pampered. If you don't mind having to risk finding out the sugar mama you'd been seeing is married and her salaryman husband wants to murder you for sleeping with his wife."
"So that's why that guy was tryin' to kill ya?" Heiji said, shooting Okita stink eye.
Okita shrugged. "Older women appreciate my poetry and enka karaoke skills more than younger ones. And a young samurai should appreciate older romantic partners of both sexes."
"So... not somewhere he could have gotten pregnant?" Heiji asked.
"I'm sure there's at least one trans sugar mama in this city," Kaito offered. "I'm not sure how easy it would be to check, though."
"Well, so far it seems like everyone remembers you, so probably not too hard," Shinichi replied.
"You're back!" the older woman behind the counter called out cheerfully as Kaito crossed into the Momma Hen's. "And you've got brothers!?"
"Not brothers," Shinichi replied sharply.
"Oy! I've been here before!" Okita protested.
The middle aged woman behind the counter blinked, giving him a quick once over, before lighting up. "Oh! Soshi-kun! I didn't recognise you dressed all casual and modern. You usually wear a kimono."
"I wasn't expecting to visit," the modern day samurai replied.
Shinichi decided to generally ignore him and focus on the proprietress. "Did Kuroba go home with anyone that night?"
"Oh, yes. He went off with Sakai-chan," the woman replied with a nod. "She's actually been asking about him. She said it was... educational?"
Kaito nodded at that. "That probably answers a question we had, but I was wondering if you could give me her phone number. There's some things I'd like to ask her."
"Sure, yes," the woman said, before leading Kaito off to give him the number.
Shinichi suddenly found being alone with Heiji awkward. If Heiji had slept with Kaito, then... well, that had to mean Heiji wasn't over his crush on himself, right? Was Shinichi being a bad friend by having not noticed? He friendship with Ran was already such a mess due to the lingering tensions still existing despite the way the whole Conan issue had torpedoed any really romantic future for them. He didn't want things with his other closest friend to go that way.
Wait. Why was he alone with Heiji anyhow?
Glancing around, he saw Okita had gotten to the other end of the restaurant at some point. He was currently singing a Misora Hibari song with a woman who looked roughly the same age as Shinichi's mother. Shinichi decided to leave him be. Okita hadn't exactly been overly helpful all day, and the likely ensuing conversation was something Shinichi didn't want Okita around for.
As the minutes stretched out Shinichi found the silence between him and Heiji ever more suffocating. Finally, he cracked.
"It's not really fair on him."
"Hm?" Heiji asked.
"You told me you had a crush on me back in high school. He looks just like me. It's not hard to figure out that that must have been why you slept with him," Shinichi said. "And now he's pregnant."
"Are you accusin' me a' taking advantage of a drunk guy?" Heiji hissed, balling his fists. "I ain't the type ta do that."
"Woah. Hey. It sounds like you were rather drunk too, so it's not a consent issue or anything," Shinichi replied, trying to make a placating gesture. "I don't think you did anything criminal."
Heiji glared at him. "Ya'd better not be."
"I just feel sort of guilty, if it was your nursing a crush for me that's left him in that state," Shinichi replied.
"We still don't gots proof it was me," Heiji muttered.
Shinichi stared at him with raised eyebrows. "You spent a night with him in your hotel room. You're the only guy he spent that much time with alone during the window. While it's not impossible that this Sakai-san is a trans woman who'd not been on estrogen long enough to become infertile... looking at the average age of patrons here that seems relatively unlikely. Especially with the comment about Kaito being 'educational'."
Heiji opened his mouth for a moment, before shutting it again. Shinichi watched him quietly. Heiji squirmed under his gaze.
"F-fine. Maybe it was me. I don'ts know. I don'ts remember that night any," Heiji muttered. "It's up ta Kuroba if he keeps it or not, though. His body. An' I ain'ts really 'dad' material yet anyhow. Ain't even had my seijin-shiki yet."
Shinichi nodded. "More reason you shouldn't have been out drinking underage... though I suppose I couldn't have expected better from the guy who offered baijiu whiskey to a six year old."
"That was fer medicinal purposes," Heiji protested.
Shinichi rolled his eyes. Heiji studied the floor.
"Where does this leave us and our friendship, though?" Shinichi asked. "If you're still kind of in love with me?"
"I ain'ts 'in love' with ya. I thinks yer hot, yes. I'd happily make out with ya, if ya offered. But I ain't lovesick or nothin'. It's way healthier than what you've gots goin' on with Ran," Heiji replied.
Shinichi nodded. "Fair enough. I can handle being your celebrity crush."
"Hey! Ya ain't any more a celebrity than I-" Heiji began, only to trail off as Kaito finally returned from the back room. "Uh, h-hey, Kuroba."
"Hey," he replied, eyes a bit distant.
"So, uh... I guess that... uh... sorry?" Heiji offered.
Kaito blinked. "What for?"
"Uh, fer apparently gettin' ya pregnant?" Heiji replied, his face as confused as Kaito's was.
"I-oh, well, I guess there is still a chance. I don't tend to actually sleep with other guys, but you are pretty handsome. We should probably do a... DNA test? Can't really call it a 'paternity' test in this case," Kaito said, looking thoughtful.
"Sakai-san was trans?" Shinichi asked.
"Sa-no. No. Not Sakai-san. She has a trans niece. Apparently they'd been very close until the niece had come out in a... dramatic way. They hadn't talked in years, but then I got talking to her that weekend and got her to rethink things and convinced her to go apologize. And then I somehow managed to charm said niece into the bedroom," Kaito explained.
Shinichi and Heiji both faltered in their efforts to find replies. They then exchanged awkward glances, not wanting to think about the conversation they'd just had.
"It seems I left quite the impression, but hadn't even left a name, so she couldn't find me," Kaito continued, smirking to himself. "She's heading right over. Also: apparently she's loaded."
The two detectives nodded along. Still in shock that apparently Heiji was off the hook. Maybe. Shinichi couldn't take back what he'd said, though.
He and Heiji were both quiet as they joined Kaito for a light snack. Well, a light snack for both of them, having spoiled their appetites with stress and arguing. Kaito ordered an udon with octopus in it, happily slurping away at both noodles and tentacles.
"I wonder if I could get tako tacos," Kaito muttered to himself as he finished up. "Salsa and octopus feels like it would be a very good combo right now..."
Heiji stared at him, looking ready to ask about Kaito's tastes, when the facts visibly clicked in his head. He tilted his head a little and gave a shrug, accepting that he should be ready for Kaito to ask for the strangest food combinations. Shinichi made note to buy an air purifier for their pod. The smells Kaito might cook up...
The door burst open then, revealing a familiar young woman with short brown hair. What was Ooka Momiji doing in a place like-
"Kaito-kun!" she said, lighting up.
"Momiji-chan!" Kaito replied, hopping to his feet.
As the pair rushed over to each other and hugged, the two detectives were left staring in confusion.
"Ooka?" Shinichi said.
"Oh! Hattori-kun. Kudo-kun. What a surprise," she said, offering them a soft smile. "How are you?"
"Y-you're the..." Shinichi began.
"B-but... you've got... you're... your..." Heiji stammered, before gesturing at his chest in a somewhat... crass fashion.
"And you've had them for years," Shinichi added. "I haven't done much reading, but I learned that it doesn't take long for estrogen to lead to infertility?"
"That's easy to explain," she said, holding a soft smile. "When I was sixteen, I had an argument with my parents, as they continued to tell me to ignore my gender. I knew they monitored me too closely to get on HRT long enough for any effect. So I gathered up my New Year's and Birthday money and snuck off to Thailand, where I got a little work done. Being sixteen and rather self conscious about my body, I kind of got the biggest ones they'd let me... when my family tracked me down again, they were forced to let me live as a girl, but insisted I could not start hormones until I had passed down the bloodline."
"You... you couldn't sneak pills, so you snuck into another country and got major surgery?" Shinichi asked.
Momiji nodded. "HRT would take months of them not noticing what I was doing. The surgery just took running away one day to get out of the country, which bought me enough time to pay my way to some quick surgery."
"Ain't a boob job, like, at least a million yen?" Heiji asked.
"A few million. That's why it took birthday money and New Year's money," Momiji explained.
"Loaded," Kaito added, gesturing towards her.
"Well, here's hopin' that the kid is yers, then," Heiji said. "Certainly seems like ya'd benefits from that more than me."
"There's a chance you got my Kaito pregnant, Hattori-kun?" Momiji replied, shock on her face.
Kaito grimaced. "Slight chance. I was very drunk that night, and he is pretty handsome."
Momiji nodded. "I supposed couldn't blame you for that, Kaito-kun. I did want to marry him myself back in the day..."
At long last, Shiho entered the room. Shinichi was less invested in what she had to say than the other three waiting in the Professor's living room, but he was quite invested in her in general. The way she'd gotten softer over the years, as fear and pain from the organization left her, filled him with warm fuzzy feelings. She smiled at him, briefly, and he felt a new wave of love for her.
"The DNA test was conclusive. Ooka-san is the second parent," Shiho said.
Kaito and Momiji let out happy squeals, pulling each other into a close hug. Well, as close as they were willing to risk, Kaito showing the beginnings of a baby bump. (Though he was very good at hiding it when he felt the need.)
Heiji let out a sigh of relief.
"Of the child with a Y chromosome. The child with two X chromosomes in Hattori-kun's," Shiho continued, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.
Everyone stared at Shiho in shocked silence.
"Pardon?" Shinichi asked.
"Kuroba is having fraternal twins. I can only guess his reproductive organs got overly excited to work again and overproduced," Shiho replied.
"I'm having twins," Kaito said, taking a moment to process things. Then his eyes lit up. "...two crime babies."
"So I did sleep with him," Heiji muttered, staring at the floor and growing pale.
Momiji glared at him. Shinichi tried not to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
