Chapter 8: The pain of bonds
"Hey, look at that. Yep, what'd I tell you, huh?" Henry asked rhetorically as he pointed the tower that was now visible in the distance.
"Hey, how you are managing?" Jake asked Ellie.
"Business as usual right? When I was with Henry, I took out a couple of infected by myself. You'd be impressed," She replied casually at the situation.
"Yeah," Jake stated with a chuckle.
"What about you?"
"Same old same old I guess," he stated nonchalantly. The two then silently walked on side by side with each other, taking in the first few moments they could relax since they got into the sewer.
"I was just five when the cordyceps hit. My memory's pretty hazy but I remember living in a neighbourhood just like this," Henry reflected.
"What do you remember?" Ellie asked inquisitively
"Ahh.. Barbecues. Parents would throw these crazy big barbecues and invite a ton of people. You know I remember the smell more than anything," Henry answered sombrely. The discussion was soon dropped however given the awkward topic. The group entered a house in search of supplies but Sam had found something of more interest to him.
"Ellie, check this out. Darts," Sam announced. The two then began to play with Sam going first followed by Ellie.
"Hey Jake, come on play as well," Ellie called to the black-haired teen as he looked for supplies. He then begrudgingly walked towards where they were and threw the dart having the best score so far. "Fuck how'd you do that?" Ellie asked in surprise to which Jake simply shrugged. Sam and Ellie then threw the remaining two which ended the game. After the brief game the group continued on down into a wide, open street. Joel fell down into first but was soon greeted by the fire of a sniper on the other end of the street.
"Oh shit. Get down!" Joel yelled his instruction as the rest of the group joined him behind the cover of a rusted car. "Alright, y'all stay here," Joel stated.
"No," Ellie protested immediately at the Joel's plan.
"Before you start – I need you guys to keep him busy."
"I'm coming as well," Jake stated firmly.
"You got a plan?" Joel asked to which Jake nodded "Well go on then."
"If we go around towards the sniper on separate sides we can split up the guards making it easier to take them out. The sniper's attention will also be even more divided and it could cause confusion within them," Jake explained.
"And how will someone get round on the other side? We're completely pinned down on the right, the only way out is around through the left," Joel questioned to which Jake responded by revealing a smoke bomb. Joel nodded his head now accepting the plan Jake had proposed so the two readied themselves to carry it out.
"Hey. Be careful you two," Ellie warned. Joel made a count down from three after which Jake had thrown down the smoke bomb and crossed to the other side will Joel went around on the left side. The two smugglers steadily made their way through the defence of the hunters on opposite sides will moving closer towards the sniper in the house at the end of the street. Having disposed of the hunters outside Joel entered the house to take out the hunters whilst Jake waited outside behind cover in case reinforcements arrived. After the sniper was taken out Joel took over his post and began to fire at reinforcements that had flanked Henry and the others from behind. However, the issue soon worsened as the same military truck from Pittsburgh arrived and began firing at Ellie, Henry and Sam who were now pinned down behind a car. Seeing that the gunfire was having little affect as they hid behind cover, the hunter decided to open the top hatch to through a molotov at the corner group. Joel seeing his opportunity shot the hunter dead as he peaked his head out, causing the molotov to explode inside the truck and it go careening into a house whilst in flames. "Shit! Oh that was intense!" Ellie sighed in relief thinking that the danger had passed.
"You're alright Sam?" Henry asked to which the younger boy confirmed.
"Thanks Joel," Ellie said whilst giving him a thumbs up in his direction. The grouped dropped their guard for only a moment and when they did infected emerged from within the house the truck crashed into and charged at Sam and Henry. Luckily, they were quickly disposed of but the group saw that they weren't free from danger yet. More and more infected steadily arrived as in response to all the gunfire until the area was completely over run with the creatures. The five re-grouped on the bottom floor of the house Joel was in whilst infected pounded on the walls from outside. "You're okay."
"Still here. Anybody hurt?" Joel asked in response and got a clear response from everyone else so the group quickly left the building from the back door and quickly made their way towards the radio tower.
"Hey, you okay?" Jake asked whilst Ellie whilst he, Ellie, Joel and Henry lounged casually on the floor of the radio tower.
"Yeah I'm fine," Ellie responded in her usual upbeat tone.
"Not hurt are you?"
"Aw, look at you being all concerned over me," She teased the usually expressionless teem, causing a red tinge to form on hi face .
"Shut it," he responded bluntly whilst looking away.
"I'm good Jake. What about yourself?" she asked whilst giggling at Jake's awkwardness.
"Yeah, I'm good. That was some good shooting back there," Jake complemented Ellie.
"Thanks. That was pretty intense, huh?" Ellie responded.
"Yeah, I'll admit that was pretty tough but we made it out."
"Regretting not giving me a gun earlier?" Ellie teased.
"I told you it wasn't my choice," Jake chuckled as he shook his head.
"Yeah, yeah keep telling yourself that." The two then began to intently listen to Joel and Henry's conversations about the old world they lived.
"Shut the hell up," Henry said.
"Dead serious," Joel began "It was Tommy's birthday. That's all he wanted to do is just – rent two Harley's and drive cross country."
"Ah, man. I could die happy if I could just ride one around the block. What was it like?"
"It was good. It was real good."
"Good? Can you believe this guy?" Henry asked turning to the two teens "C'mon man, gimme details. Describe it," Henry insisted causing Joel to chuckle in response.
"You know what? You two deserve some privacy," Ellie said as she got up "Come on Jake," she said which made simply throw his arms up in resignation.
"No, no Ellie, Ellie, this isn't just any regular motorcycle. Okay? You get on that bad boy, you feel that engine. Nothing like it."
"Oh yeah. How would you know?"
"Cuz I've seen it in my dreams," Henry replied and began to imitate the noises of a motorcycle whilst pretending he was driving one.
"Okay," Ellie said simply not amused at all "Come on you," Ellie said as she heaved Jake up to his feet and the two then left the room whilst Henry chuckled to himself. "Well, it's safe to say those two have officially bonded," Ellie stated as she entered the room Sam was in. "What're you doing?" Ellie asked as she approached Sam.
"Taking stock of all the food we found today," Sam replied.
"Oddly responsible of you," Jake retorted.
"Oh, get along boys," Ellie scolded "How are we doing on canned peaches?" she enquired as she lifted a can.
"Did Henry send you two?" Sam asked as he took the can back and put it down, completely ignoring Ellie's question.
"No, why would Henry send us?"
"And if he did I would have no reason to listen," Jake commented.
"To make sure I'm not fucking up somehow."
"Pshhh. I'd say we all did pretty good back there – especially you," Ellie said attempting to cheer Sam up. However, Sam ignored her comment and went up towards a window and leaned against it. "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine."
"Ok. Well, have a good night," Ellie said as she was about to leave.
"How is that you're never scared?" Sam asked as he turned back to face her.
"Who's say that I'm not?"
"What about you?" Sam asked indicating to Jake.
"It comes with experience. I'm used to it by now," Jake replied simply.
"So, you are scared?"
"If I am I'm able to ignore it."
"So, what are you both scared off?"
"Let's see," Ellie began with a sigh as she walked closer towards the boy "Scorpions are pretty creepy," she joked causing Sam to turn away "Um... Being by myself. I'm scared of ending up alone," Ellie stated sombrely.
"Ending up alone, huh?" Jake mentally questioned. Sam then turned to Jake expecting an answer but got nothing from him.
"What about you?" Ellie asked.
"Those things out there. What if the people are still inside? What if they're trapped in there, without any control over their body? I'm scared of that happening to me."
"Okay, first of all, we're a team now. We're gonna help each other out. Right Jake?"
"Well as long he doesn't slow down I don't have a problem running a knife through infected for him," Jake replied.
"Second. They might still look like people, but that person is not in there anymore."
"Henry says that 'they've moved on.' That they're with their families now. Like in heaven. Do you think that's true?" The boy asked causing Ellie to think her answer for a moment.
"I go back and forth. I mean I'd like to believe it."
"But you don't?"
"I guess not," Ellie replied so Sam then turned to Jake for his answer.
"They're can't be a place that's worse than this. That's what I believe," Jake replied stoically.
"Oh... All this serious talk I almost forgot," Ellie started as she unzipped her backpack and brought out the toy robot from earlier and placed on the table causing Jake to let out a silent chuckle. "There. If he doesn't know about it, he can't take it away," she said as some picked the toy up "Oh, and just between us. Bloaters scare the shit out of him," Ellie leaned and whispered to Sam and then began to walk away. "Alright, I'm pooped. I'll see ya tomorrow," Ellie said and then left the room followed by Jake.
"You know I heard you right?" Jake asked as they exited.
"And? Are you embarrassed?" She teased causing Jake to chuckle and shook his head.
"And the toy, really?"
"Oh, just leave him be."
"Alright whatever," Jake replied ending the conversation and the two promptly went to bed afterwards.
The next morning Ellie woke up to the pleasant smell of Henry's cooking with everyone else already awake with the exception of Sam. "Damn, that smells good," she yawned.
"Morning," Joel said as he turned to face whilst she got up from under her blanket.
"Where's Sam?" She asked she approached Henry.
"I let him sleep in for once," Henry replied.
"Oh," Ellie said disappointedly.
"Well, if you want him to join us you can go wake his ass up," Henry stated so Ellie then the left the room to go wake up Sam.
"Sam?" Ellie asked as she entered the room to see the boy standing instead of sleep and twitching oddly as he did so. "Sam!" She screamed in shock as Sam charged at her and pushed her through the door.
"Shit. He's turnin'!" Joel shouted in response as he ran to his backpack to reach for a gun whilst Ellie struggled against the infected boy. Before Joel could get a weapon, Henry had fired his pistol in the direction of Joel causing Joel to scramble away.
"That's my fucking brother!" Henry shouted whilst keeping his aim on Joel. Seeing that Ellie's situation wasn't improving at all Joel decided to move for his bag but it was no longer necessary. With Henry distracted by Joel, Jake quickly moved towards the infected Sam and kicked it off of her and held it down giving it no opportunity to get up again. In one swift motion Jake brought his knife across the infected's throat, leaving a deep slash and killing it as the blood splattered out onto Jake's hand and face. He then quickly dropped the knife and went to help Ellie up and held her in comfort.
"You okay?" He asked in concern.
"Uh-huh," Ellie replied still in shock "Oh my god." The two were then joined by Joel to put a comforting hand on the red-haired girl.
"Sam," Henry said shakily as he began shed tears "Sam."
"Henry. You two stay here," Joel said as he went towards the other man slowly.
"Henry what've you done."
"I'm gonna get that gun from you, okay?"
"Sa... Sa... Sam," Henry continued to weep now pointing the firearm at Joel.
"Whoa. Okay, okay, easy."
"It's your fault," Henry said with his voice and grip on the gun now firmer.
"This is nobody's fault Henry."
"And you?!" Henry now shouted as he pointed the gun towards Jake "You wanted as dead! It's your fault," Henry continued to yell whilst weeping. In a small act of defiance Jake now stood between Henry and Ellie and looked him silently in the eye, in case his shot had missed and hit the young girl instead. Henry held his ground for a moment before he finally broke and turned his gun on himself.
"Oh my god," Ellie said in disbelief as blood from Henry's head drained out onto the floor. Jake still stood there but he closed his in mourning for the two brothers.
After the shock had passed Joel was kind enough to bury the two of them outside the radio tower with a shovel that was inside. The three of them stood silently side by side in front of the newly dug graves. "I can't believe this happened," Ellie let out still confused and in disbelief. "What now?"
"We keep going on our own to Tommy's," Joel replied.
"That's it?"
"Yes, that's it."
"You can just completely ignore what happened here and move on?"
"Yes, and you should do the same as well. Thinking about it won't do anything and we're not going to discuss this any further. Get ready, we leave in an hour," Joel said and walked off back towards the radio tower, leaving the two teens behind.
"And what about you? You're the same I bet." Ellie turned to Jake but he said nothing, only standing there in silence.
"Do you... want to talk about it?" Jake asked awkwardly after an equally awkward pause.
"Yeah," Ellie replied and awaited Jake's response "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"I... I don't know. I thought you wanted to talk about it."
"What do you want me say? Don't you have anything to say? Nothing to help me up since you seem so nonchalant about all this?"
"I'm not... the right person to ask."
"This doesn't affect you at all?"
"I've seen this all many times before. Death is so common that its lost its value to me. This is just reality."
"This is reality?" Ellie questioned in her head "That's completely fucked up. This can't be right. I have to get to the Fireflies now, and make sure a cure is made so that this doesn't happen anymore. So that I can change this reality," Ellie affirmed internally. She then turned to face Jake who copied the motion, the two studied each other's expressions silently for moments that seemed to drag on infinitely longer than they actually were. "What has he seen? How long has he suffered like this. He looks so cold, and hurt," Ellie thought as she looked deep into his copper eyes.
"Those eyes. They still shine with hope for this world. Still untainted by the blood. But for how long?" Jake thought to himself as he returned the look into Ellie's hazel eyes. "No, that doesn't matter," Jake thought "We should go," he said as lightly grabbed Ellie hand to which Ellie hesitantly nodded. The two then walked back towards the tower but their hands did not unlock. However her hand shook slightly as it weakly grasped Jake's. "Are you scared?"
"I'm scared I'll lose you and Joel too. "
"You don't want to be alone, huh?" Jake questioned internally "This dammed world, all it does is instill fear in people, for what? I hate this feeling of weakness it creates. Why? And now her as well." Jake thought to himself in frustration. Jake closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose to calm himself. "Don't worry. That won't happen, I'll protect you two. No matter what."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Do you trust me?" He asked to which she nodded "Then trust my words."
"Do you promise?" She asked and he responded with a confident but silent nod "Ok, " she responded simply.
"Let's go," Jake said as he held her hand more tightly than before. "Idiot, there you go making more impossible promises. there's something about her, but what? It doesn't matter. She's strong. She'll get through it, I'm sure."
Fall
Months had passed since the three had left the bodies of the two brothers by the radio tower. They had travelled westward relentlessly since then in search of Joel's brother. The group had also adorned new clothing to adjust to the shifting weather. Jake had managed to find a navy-blue water-proof jacket during their travels to help deal with the cold. They were now close to Jackson city where they believed they would find Tommy. The three of them sat by a small fire within a forest with a stream running close by. It was beginning to get dark so they decided to camp for the night.
"So, we're pretty close, huh?" Ellie asked breaking the silence. Since leaving there was a bit of awkwardness between the three of them as result of Ellie's distaste of their handling of the brothers' deaths.
"Yeah, shouldn't be far now," Joel replied.
"And then I'll get dumped off on this stranger," Ellie thought to herself "Just great. After all we've been through, just to be left like cargo," she complained internally. "I'm gonna go clean up.," she said as she stood up and promptly left the two smugglers.
"Don't go too far," Joel called out to her but she didn't bother responding.
"So, what happens after Tommy's?" Jake asked, the question had been on his mind for quite some time now and he assumed it was a good time to ask. There was tense pause between the two of them as Joel took his time to respond.
"You can figure that out for yourself. You're capable enough to take of yourself now. You're not my responsibility anymore," Joel responded harshly. "Ever since that day, just looking at him is painful. I don't want that anymore. Whatever was in him all that time ago is gone and I'm done trying to recover it," Joel thought to himself.
"So, you don't care anymore?" Jake asked in monotonously but Joel didn't reply. After getting no response Jake rose from his seat and began to walk off.
"Where are you going?" Joel asked irritably.
"What does it matter to you?" Jake responded coldly and continued to walk robotically into the woods nearby. Once a fair distance away Jake could no longer contain his emotions, he drew a combat knife and run towards the nearest large tree. He sliced and slashed at the plant with anger as if it were a person, releasing a shout with every contact between the blade and the bark. This continued for a minute until the surface of the bark was littered with slash marks in every direction. He took one final stab at the tree and continued to apply force with his whole body. "Damn it," Jake cursed at his wit's end mentally. "What the hell have I been doing for the last five years? Battle after battle, death after death. All for what?" He questioned out loud as his breaths became strained "We endure for what purpose? For what damn it?" he continued to ask but as one would expect got no response. He drew the knife from tree and crouched down on the grass "Everyone's dead. Everyone's dead damn it. So why me? What makes me so fucking different that I have to suffer through this crap?" He now almost demanded answered as he was close to shouting. Now he simply sat there breathing raggedly as his thoughts whizzed erratically. After sitting there painfully for moments that felt like eternity to him, he finally gave in to his temptations; his coping mechanism. He drew the sleeve of his newly found jacket along with his shirt and swiftly brought his blade across the forearm. He hissed at the distracting pain but it was miniscule compared to the first time. Blood streamed out from his skin, a new scar would soon join countless others on the same arm. His thoughts temporarily subsided as his focus involuntarily shifted to the fresh would. However even that focus was taken away as an odd sound was heard distantly. He got up sharply, now on edge from the noise. He summarised that it wasn't close so he began to listen more intently for its location and what it was.
"Help!" A voice screamed in fear from the distance. The voice was familiar but he couldn't piece it together at first. When it repeated he then realised it was Ellie and quickly ran in the direction of her voice. Whilst doing so he rolled down his sleeve and stored the knife. Upon arriving at the source of Ellie's voice Jake found himself at the banks of the stream where Ellie had left her backpack and jacket but found no trace of the girl herself. "Jake!" She called out to him, he then saw that she was being carried away by the current after presumably slipping into it. Not wasting any time, Jake quickly jumped into the current and quickly swam towards Ellie.
"Hold on tight," he instructed once he had preached to which she complied. Jake then began swimming to the banks of the stream along with Ellie. Once there they quickly pulled themselves up onto land. The two took a moment to regain their breath and composure but afterwards they quickly retrieved their belongings and returned to where Joel was with Ellie draping her jacket over herself to help the cold.
"What happened?" Joel asked concernedly as the two approached completely drenched.
"I slipped and fell into the stream," Ellie responded whilst shivering as she sat herself down by the fire.
"I'm gonna have to get more firewood then," Joel explained as he got up and began walking towards the woods "Stay here and keep an eye out," Joel instructed as he walked passed Jake as he stood there emotionlessly.
"Jake, you're bleeding," Ellie observed to which Jake nonchalantly glanced at his arm, now remembering the cut and all its accompanying thoughts. "Were there hunters or infected nearby that attacked you?" Ellie asked in worry but her questions were unanswered. "Jake what happened? Tell me," She continued to ask now with much more urgency in her voice and standing up, fearing the worst. He still didn't answer. He was in a world of his own. "Jake are you infected?" Ellie now demanded as her voice shook from that prospect. He still remained silent and walked off back towards the stream and stared quietly at the water. He saw so much within the flowing current. All those he had hurt. All those he killed. And worst, all those he failed. "JAKE FUCKING ANSWER ME!"
"So, what now? Nothing left, right? All dead, Joel's gone, almost at Tommy's. Well, maybe that can create a little bit of good. You idiot, still thinking wishfully after all this. I've seen all this world has to offer, maybe even too much. It's high time took my exit. This world wasn't meant for weak people like me anyway," Jake reflected. He reached into his pouch and drew another blade and held it firmly in his right hand. "Thank you everyone, for all you did. And please forgive me, for my failures," he lamented as he closed his eyes then moved to bring the blade across the left side of his throat. But instead of feeling the warm, crimson liquid flowing across his fallen body, he remained standing. He tried again and felt a resistance in the knife itself. His eyes slowly opened and saw that Ellie had the blade firmly between both of her hands, keeping it away from Jake's throat. He noticed the tears of pain that flowed down her face and then realised the blood flowing out from her palm. Still in bewilderment it took a moment before his grip on the knife released, once he did Ellie quickly let go of the knife as well and took a moment to examine the cut that ran straight across her hand. Jake still stood there, perplexed and eyes wide from the shock. With her uninjured hand she formed a fist and sent it right at Jake square in his face. The surprise of these events and the attack meant that Jake tumbled back onto the ground after the hit. Ellie then crouched down above Jake and grabbed him by the jacket.
"Are you infected?" Ellie demanded to which Jake shook his head slowly still in complete and utter shook "Then what the fuck is wrong? Why is your arm bleeding and why hell are trying to kill yourself?" Ellie continued to throw questions at him but Jake had no answers for her "An answer?"
"I... I just... don't know anymore," Jake responded as he finally began to settle back into reality and his eyelids fell to give a sombre expression. Ellie finally then released her grip on the teen and turned to assess her injury. "Why?" Jake asked softly.
"You fucking know why," Ellie answered but he was still just as confused "I'm... afraid of."
"Being left alone," Jake finished as this entire sequence of events finally made sense to him. He slowly got up from where he had laid.
"Gimme the pouch," Ellie demanded once Jake had risen "Now. And don't pick that knife back up.," she ordered to which Jake complied not able to resist her right now. After doing so he walked over to his bag where he removed a first aid kit and returned to where Ellie was.
"Can I... see your hand?" He asked awkwardly as she then extended her hand towards him. He gingerly cleaned the wound, which got a few hisses of pain out of the girl, and then bandaged it up. Ellie then retrieved knife from earlier and brought along with Jake's pouch to the fire and sat down with Jake's belongings kept closely to her.
"Do you want to talk?" Ellie asked, now calm as it seemed to her that Jake had recovered his senses.
"I... need some time," Jake responded to which Ellie simply nodded. "Sorry."
