Chapter Twenty:
It was mere hours after the battle, Byakuya had not moved since Kyōraku had set him on the hospital bed, refusing to talk to anyone who came to see him. He had eventually stopped crying, although he was unaware about when it had happened, but he knew his voice was hoarse and his throat was sore. He was staring out of the window beside the bed, glaring at the sun which was now high in the sky.
The world seemed so perfect from the Division Four window, there were no traces of the destruction Grimmjow had caused in Division Eleven, although all reports suggested it had been cataclysmic in scale, nor could he see Sôkyoku Hill, which was probably a good thing. He wasn't sure he could stomach seeing the place so soon after what had happened.
His grief felt so raw, it was far beyond the lingering memory of his father's death. While Sōjun's passing had been a shock to everyone at the time he had been killed in action, a fitting end for any member of the Kuchiki Clan. They had expected him to pass away from sickness, his father had always been an ill man. Far better for everyone, and everyone's pride that he be able to die in battle.
His death had finalised Byakuya's training- his ability to conceal his emotions, to rise up and become one of the most powerful and influential Clan leaders in history. And yet, that was all shattered now, it was for nothing. His facade of emotional control was broken, along with his only recently rediscovered heart. He had lost it all.
Yes, his sister was alive and relatively unharmed, with the exception of the possible psychological trauma she'd experienced during her horror story. Yes, Renji was alive and kicking, despite it apparently having been a close call; the redhead was currently sitting in the corner of the room with him in an awkward silence. And indeed, he too was alive. But he almost wished that wasn't the case. He should have been the one to die, to protect Ichigo at all costs, as he had vowed to.
He had failed. He had failed himself, his pride, and he had failed Ichigo. The vow he'd made to save him from Aizen seemed utterly shattered now, even if in the end the enigma had become undone and the real Ichigo had shone through, it had been too late. Too late for him to truly break away from the darkness that had tethered him for so long.
Blindly, his hands rose to his hair and he unclipped his kenseikan, pulling them free from his hair and glaring down at them angrily. He couldn't wear them. Not while he was in such turmoil. The leader of the Kuchiki family had to be strong, had to be willing, had to be sure of himself. And he didn't feel any of those things. It took him every ounce of his willpower not to smash the ornate hair pieces there and then.
He would wear them again when, and only when, he felt he had done something to repair his broken pride.
Eyes darting towards the door, he watched as Unohana entered his room, her gaze was subtle but there was no hiding her power. Apparently, the Division Four Taichou was directing her silent fury onto Renji at that moment, her smile sweet but the meaning behind it anything but.
"Abarai Fukutaichou, you should not be out of bed yet. Do you wish for your wounds to open again?" She asked.
"Unohana Taichou..." The redhead faltered under her gaze, before seemingly steeling himself, "I needed to be with my Taichou."
Her eyes flickered over to where Byakuya lay and he met her gaze unflinchingly, she then returned her attention to Renji, "Be that as it may, you were very badly hurt. If Yoruichi-san had not arrived when she did and delivered first aid... You would undoubtedly be dead now."
Renji seemed to bristle, "I know."
"Well, as long as you promise not to move around too much I won't force you back to bed." She tilted her head slightly, and then turned to Byakuya, "And Kuchiki Taichou, I understand you have refused to allow my subordinates to check you for wounds."
"I am unharmed." He stated coolly, his voice was indeed as hoarse as he'd expected.
"Regardless, it is necessary to check you over. The adrenaline might be masking injuries."
The sharp snap of her pulling on rubber gloves made him wince, he wanted to argue against her wasting precious time on him, but somehow the smile which was still casually seated on her heart shaped lips told him that he would be the one wasting time. He forced himself to relax and allowed her to examine him.
"How are you feeling, Kuchiki Taichou?" She asked as she ran her hands slowly down his back.
He clenched his teeth, shooting her a dark glare, "As I said, I am unharmed."
"That is not what I was asking, and you know it." Unohana's hands were the steadiest in Seireitei, but they quivered very slightly as she checked the now ageing scar on his shoulder, "The young man who fought Aizen... Kurosaki-san... He was deeply important to you."
"He was important to many people." He muttered.
"And yet his last words were to you, not to them."
Byakuya swallowed thickly, fighting against the surge of anger which was building inside of his body, he bit his tongue and remained silent, glowering at the wall ahead. Like Ukitake and Kyōraku, he had known Retsu Unohana all his life; he couldn't quite bring himself to unleash his rage against her.
"I was unaware that he was a Hollow, at least in part, that was something of a surprise to many people." The medicinal woman continued, "And yet, I sense that you were fully aware."
"He was... Unique."
"He still is." Her eyes twinkled slightly.
"What?" He heard Renji repeat his own words at the same time, the redhead was on his feet and walking over.
"What do you mean by that, Unohana Taichou?" The Fukutaichou stood beside her, eyes searching eagerly.
Her smile softened to a more genuine sign of happiness, "He was revived. Kurosaki-san lives on."
Byakuya felt that anger he had been storing snap and dissipate into nothingness, staring up at her with wide eyes, his heart fluttering with an overwhelming sense of joy, there was no lie on her tongue, nor in her eyes, she was telling the truth.
"How is he?" He breathed, not trusting himself to speak even an octave more.
"Critical," she replied, pulling her hands back slowly as she finished her healing, "Make no mistake, he is in a bad way. The next twenty four hours will be essential if he is to survive. However, I suspect someone with as much determination as him will pull through."
"I can't believe it." Renji gulped, gripping the bed rail for support, "I thought-"
"It was a close call." She cut him off, "He did die, for a short time, but we were able to bring him back from the brink. There is no telling what sort of effect it would have upon him when he wakes, but undoubtedly the outcome is better than the alternative."
"Thank you... Thank you, Unohana Taichou!" The redhead turned on the spot, "I need to go and tell Rukia! She's been beating herself up ever since she got here."
Byakuya watched his Fukutaichou leave the room, the door sliding shut behind him before his gaze shifted to the woman beside his bed, "May I see him?"
"Of course." She was already removing her gloves, apparently satisfied with his condition, "There are a lot of questions being asked at the moment, people are worried and scared, unsure of how Aizen was able to deceive us all for so long."
He slid off the bed and secured his shihakusho a little tighter, "His deception runs deep. And has drawn many people in close."
"Including Kurosaki-san?" She asked, leading him from the room, "From the way he was fighting... It appeared it was personal."
His jaw tightened a little, unsure how much he could safely tell her without incriminating Ichigo, despite his show of loyalty on Sôkyoku Hill he was certain his previous allegiances would be looked down on, quite severely.
"Ichigo..." He paused, considering his words very carefully, "Was manipulated worse than any of us. But he found freedom eventually."
"I see." She seemed sated with his response.
"Is he in danger?" Byakuya asked quietly, looking straight ahead, "I cannot imagine there is a great deal of comfort in knowing he can become something so destructive."
"You are referring to his Hollowfication?"
"Yes." He muttered.
She tilted her head slightly as they headed through a small waiting room, "There was some discord among the Taichou, a few wished for him to be handed over to the Research Department, some suggested exile, or execution. However, many of us fought against those suggestions, and as such they were vetoed. After all... The young man risked everything to protect Soul Society, what sort of people exact a punishment for that instead of a reward?"
He let out a small breath, he could already picture those who had threatened harm against the strawberry haired male, Soi-Fon and Kurotsuchi came to mind immediately and he fought to repress a growl, "Thank you for what you have done."
"It was nothing." She came to a stop on the outside of a glass room, the curtains were drawn to prevent outside eyes seeing the young man who lay beyond, but she opened the door for the noble and ushered him inside.
Ichigo's body was battered and bruised, near broken in some respects. Tanned skin was marred by black and purple bruises, some of which even now appeared to only just be blooming. His body was coiled tightly in a organised chaos of bandages and protective gauze, which seemed to be stemming his blood loss, though the noble could see darkened patches through the white fabric, a hint that his wounds were indeed as extensive as they had first appeared.
The darkest patch of redness he could see was combated by the thickest bandages, wound tightly around his chest, where his heart had been so utterly damaged by Gin's blade. It was a miracle he'd survived at all.
Byakuya moved forwards slowly, sitting in the soft padded chair at the bedside, he reached out cautiously and rested his hands over one of Ichigo's. His skin was cold to the touch, but not yet icy enough to cause concern. Steel eyes travelled up his form slowly, coming to rest on his face.
The translucent shine of the breathing mask did nothing to hide the extensive facial injuries he'd been victim to, the burns from Grimmjow's Cero were mostly healed but the shadow of them remained, a memory of the horror.
Ichigo looked so much younger than normal, so innocent and vulnerable. His face lax and devoid of emotion, and yet not callous like it had been once. It was gentle, subtle, relaxed. Perhaps Ichigo had finally found some peace.
There was still the overwhelming gush of relief which refused to abate, knowing Ichigo was alive and had a fighting chance of surviving, but there was a lingering shadow of concern and panic for his well being. Looking at him now, it was almost impossible to believe he was the same man who had broken into his office, who had blindly fed Aizen all the information he desired, who had submitted so willingly to corruption and wickedness, all for the sake of having a purpose.
This man, this version of Ichigo, was a broken wreckage, marred by the distorted pigmentation of his skin's haemorrhaging, and yet he was all the more perfect for it. Courage and strength had come forwards in a moment of need, a will and determination to do whatever was necessary to protect the people he cared about the most. He had turned his back on his past, and was ready to face a new future. Ichigo had done exactly what he had vowed to do.
Byakuya was determined to be there to help guide him through whatever came next.
"Just keep fighting," he said softly, kissing the back of his hand sweetly, "I don't care how long it takes you, I don't care if I have to wait years to see you open your eyes again... Just make sure that you do. I'll wait for you. I'll always wait for you, I swear it."
Hours later, Byakuya found himself stood patiently in the assembly room of Division One, surrounded by his fellow Taichou and Fukutaichou, their meeting was one of urgency and despite his desire to remain at Ichigo's side he had been unable to excuse himself from the congregation.
"Are we certain that all the traitors have been accounted for?" Yamamoto growled from his seat.
"Yes, Sou-Taichou." Soi-Fon responded, "Gin Ichimaru, Kaname Tōsen, Grimmjow Jaegerjaques and Sōsuke Aizen are the listed offenders. We have found no further ties to anyone remaining in Soul Society."
Byakuya kept his head bowed, the smallest of smirks touching his lips as he considered the favour he now owed his former teacher. Yoruichi had kept her end of the bargain, erasing all evidence of Ichigo ever having been involved with Aizen's treachery, he simply hoped she didn't request a game of tag as repayment.
The old man nodded slowly from his seat, "And what is the condition of Aizen's former subordinate... Kurosaki... Something, wasn't it?"
"Ichigo Kurosaki." The noble interjected, "He is in a stable condition for the time being, with no signs of improving or worsening. The injury inflicted was brutal, but he certainly has the willpower to recover in time."
"And what of his Hollow side?" Yamamoto's eyes were narrowed, "How much of a threat does it pose us?"
He lifted his gaze and glared back at the man, he had suspected such a topic would rise again given Unohana's earlier warnings, "His Hollow form is strong, overwhelmingly powerful with the most basic instincts of combat. But I believe Kurosaki can master him and perhaps learn to effectively call upon that power in battle. It will take time, and hard work. But if anyone can do that... It is him. He has an unparalleled desire to protect what is dearest to him, I don't believe he would ever surrender fully while someone was in danger."
"I see." There was a stagnant pause while the Sou-Taichou seemed to contemplate things, then he sighed, "Preliminary reports suggest that the boy may be the only person in Seireitei of Taichou level reiatsu who has never been exposed to Aizen's Shikai. How certain are we that this is true?"
Byakuya glanced towards the redheaded man stood just behind him, nodding gently to urge him to speak.
Renji swallowed hard and took a few nervous steps forwards, lowering himself onto one knee and bowing his head, "If I may have permission to speak, Sou-Taichou."
"Abarai Fukutaichou. Before it may be granted may your own courage in this matter be congratulated. Your bravery in standing against the tyrants will not go unrewarded. Speak."
"I was... Taken captive by Aizen. He was aware that Ichigo and I are close friends, and he believed he could use my presence as leverage to manipulate the situation..." He lifted his head slightly to meet the older man's gaze, "While present, I heard Aizen state that Ichigo had never seen his Shikai, and that it was something he would have to correct. He never got the chance to do that, however. Ichigo remains unaffected by Kyoka Suigetsu's powers."
"Thank you, Abarai Fukutaichou." The man stood slowly, stamping his stick thoughtfully on the wooden floors, "Kuchiki Taichou, my notes state that Kurosaki is close to mastering Bankai. As a matter of top priority, you will ensure he completes his training when he wakes. I want him ready."
"Ready for what, sir?" He asked innocently, having a gut feeling he wasn't going to like the answer.
"For war."
The meeting was concluded shortly after, Byakuya and Renji left Division One together, a heavy silence falling over them as they contemplated what had happened. The noble glanced at his second in command thoughtfully, the redhead hadn't said anything more or less about his ordeal at Aizen's hands, other than the news that Ichigo hadn't been exposed to the man's power. But there was an intolerable weight on his shoulders, something he didn't seem able to shake.
"Abarai-" He paused, looking straight ahead as they walked, "... Renji. If you want someone to talk to about what happened... I have time."
"Taichou?"
"You went through a lot in a short space of time, it is natural for anyone to be troubled by it. It might help if you share it with someone." He glanced at him briefly, "I am willing to listen."
"I... I wouldn't want to burden you with my troubles, you have enough of your own, Taichou." The redhead looked at the floor, scuffing his feet slightly as they trudged towards Division Four.
Byakuya was tempted to leave it at that, his Fukutaichou having made his point. He wasn't good at all the soft, fuzzy emotions, he never had been, but as he found himself considering what Ichigo would do in such a situation he let out a breath and stopped walking, forcing Renji to stop as well.
"It would not be a burden." He stated simply, meeting the other man's gaze sternly, "Bottling it up will do more harm than good."
Renji seemed surprised by the genuine offer and smiled weakly, "Well... If you are sure it isn't a problem then... I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk about it..."
They began walking again, slightly slower than before, Renji didn't speak again until they reached Division Four, heading inside and finding a quiet place to sit. They weren't far from Ichigo's room, but far enough away that they wouldn't be distracted by his condition.
Renji sat down at one of the small round tables in the waiting area, restlessly fiddling with his own bandages as Byakuya sat opposite him. The redhead seemed to be struggling to begin.
"What happened once you left the mansion?" Byakuya asked, hoping the gentle prompt would help.
"I... I felt as though I was being followed. It was part of the reason I reported to the mansion that day, I wasn't confident that Hell Butterflies would reach you if my suspicions were correct," he frowned faintly, "When I left, I planned to go straight back to Rukia, to continue watching over her, but... The feeling was stronger than ever."
"You went to see Ukitake Taichou, didn't you?"
"Yes." Renji pulled at the knot in his bandages again, "It was a gamble, but I had to warn someone. I had this... Feeling, a gut instinct that I might never see Rukia again. And in case I was right I had to tell someone, make sure they protected her in my place. Ukitake Taichou and Kyōraku Taichou were both there... And I told them everything I knew. Once I started I couldn't stop, even though I knew I probably should. But... They listened, they didn't judge Ichigo. If anything, they seemed sad, but angry towards Aizen. They promised to look after Rukia, just in case anything happened."
"So they already knew about Ichigo's involvement when they came to see me..." Byakuya thought aloud, he'd informed them of everything on their way towards Sôkyoku Hill, they'd been receptive to the information, never giving him reason to think they were already aware.
"We parted afterwards. They were going to Central 46 to check on things, and I was returning to Rukia when... Ichimaru Taichou... I mean, Gin..." He trailed off, swallowing hard, "I was no match for him, he was too strong. I thought he was going to kill me, but instead he grabbed me and took me to Division Five, to Aizen's personal quarters."
Byakuya could see Renji was growing tense, his shoulders were quivering slightly and his hands were clenched into fists, "What happened once you arrived?"
"Ichigo was already there, he'd been bound by Kidō and looked a little worse for wear, he was conscious and he was arguing with Aizen about what had been done to him. He was so angry. But he was confused as well. Aizen kept... Turning things around on him, making it harder for him to keep his focus. There were several moments when I thought Ichigo might... Go back to him. It almost seemed like he wanted to a couple of times. He looked... Like he was hurting, like it was hurting him to betray him."
Byakuya's expression darkened at the news. The idea that Aizen had once again attempted to ensnare Ichigo with manipulation of his feelings stung and seared, leaving a foul taste in his mouth.
Renji swallowed, "Then... I was forced in front of him, I don't know... Maybe I was meant to shake him, meant to scare him... I think it worked because he apologised to me. Aizen realised he was feeling emotion, he connected the dots and realised that Ichigo knew where the Hōgyoku was." He sighed deeply, running a hand down his face, "That's when my function became more obvious. If Ichigo told him where the Hōgyoku was... I would be spared. I told him not to say anything, and he seemed to muster some courage. Even told Aizen to go fuck himself. I was kind of impressed."
"What happened next?" Byakuya asked gently, swallowing slightly as he heard how strained Renji's voice had become.
"I... I don't think I've ever been more grateful to be an Inuzuri Dog than I was in that room. Aizen grabbed me and... Threw me over his desk... He was threatening to break me. Break my pride. I just spat back that we Dogs are infamously stubborn... I wasn't going to give in to him. Not a chance." Renji gritted his teeth, hands trembling so badly that he hid them under the table, determined not to appear weak.
"Your stubborn streak is admirable," the noble smiled, "Annoying at times, but more valuable than blind loyalty."
"Thanks... I think." Renji chuckled humourlessly before taking another breath, "A beating isn't something I can't handle, Division Eleven taught me to deal with far worse. But I could see Ichigo's face and... Something wasn't right. He looked... Scared, not for himself but for me. And... I didn't realise until later why that would be. I don't think Aizen had any intention of beating me. From the way Ichigo tried to defend me, to the point of making me out to be an idiot... He was afraid."
A frown found its way onto the noble's face, "What... Do you think he was going to do to you?"
The redhead shifted in his seat, looking towards the glass room which contained his best friend, "I truly don't know. But... I know the pair of them had... A twisted relationship, so it makes sense that he'd know the extent Aizen would go to for information. But somehow, because of something that Ichigo said to him... Aizen changed his mind, I think. Instead of whatever he had originally planned to do... He used his hypnosis on me. The things I saw... It was horrific... It was... I don't think I will ever sleep soundly again. It was like he drew out my very worst nightmares and then forces me to live them. Over and over again. Rukia... I keep having to check to make sure she's really still here because... If I close my eyes I live it again and-" Renji released a choked sound, "Shit."
Renji was quivering like a leaf, his breaths coming out in shuddering puffs. Byakuya reached out and rested a hand on his Fukutaichou's shoulder, squeezing comfortingly, he had never seen Renji fall apart like this before, he was one of the most stubborn, confident and wilful people he knew. Almost to a fault.
"And then... I remember feeling like I'd just opened my eyes for the first time. Ichigo had managed to throw Tōsen though the window, he was... Incredible. The power I could feel rolling off his body was overpowering. And his eyes... Glittering like gold... I always knew he was strong but this was on another level. His reiatsu was so great that... It was terrifying and glorious all at the same time." Renji looked up at his Taichou, "But... It wasn't enough to stop Aizen. Aizen was too powerful. Even in that state Ichigo couldn't cut him. He ended up being the one who got injured. Then... Aizen was... Sweet talking him almost, offering him a place at his side if he gave him the location of the Hōgyoku. Apparently... That was what had driven Ichigo to him in the first place. The promise of somewhere he could go, to be with people who wouldn't be crushed by his power. I could see the temptation... He was sinking fast... I was... I was really scared that he would give in."
"What did you do?" Byakuya asked.
"I yelled at Ichigo to snap out of it, Aizen knocked me out for that... And I didn't know anything else until... Gin stabbed me. It woke me... The pain... But not for long. I was in a bad way... All I could think about was Rukia, how she was exposed and in danger, and how I was meant to be there to protect her... I think... I think I said her name... Out loud... It was stupid, so stupid because... I'm pretty sure that's how Aizen worked out that she had the Hōgyoku... I let her down. I let Ichigo down. And... I let you down."
Renji seemed to slump as he finished speaking, his head resting down on the table top. There was no mistaking his feelings of guilt about what had happened, and while Byakuya expected to feel angry upon learning that Renji had been the one to endanger Rukia's life, he found instead that he was understanding. He got it.
"I do not believe you have let us down at all," he murmured, "You stopped Ichigo from falling back into the darkness he fought so hard to get out of. You risked your own life to ensure the Hōgyoku remained hidden, and it was only in a moment of failing consciousness that you revealed anything. It was not intentional. It was not malicious."
"Taichou..."
"No. I will not allow you to wallow in a cavity of self pity, you are my Fukutaichou and I expect you to act like it." The nobleman took a breath, "You went through far more than I originally realised, and for that, I am sorry. You risked a great deal to protect Rukia, and you did the very best you could. I am... Proud of you, Renji."
Renji's head snapped up and the look of surprise on his face was almost startling, "T-Taichou... I... Thank you."
Byakuya felt a momentary pang of guilt. Was his own praise for his subordinates so non-existent that Renji should be so surprised by it? Cursing himself, he realised that in some respects he was no better than Aizen.
He got to his feet slowly and began walking towards Ichigo's room, pausing as he heard Renji move behind him, he glanced around and blinked at the scrutiny on the other's face.
"You know... Kuchiki Taichou... Sometimes you should probably listen to your own advice." The redhead said firmly.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He scowled.
Renji's eyes moved upwards towards his hair, staring at the free locks, "You took them off earlier today, and you haven't put them back on yet. You're beating yourself up for what happened to Ichigo, I'm betting you think that you're not worthy of wearing them right now. But you're wrong. You did everything you could for Ichigo, you went out of your way to help him. He would never have stood up for Aizen if you hadn't shown him that it was an option. I think you're being too hard on yourself, Taichou."
His eyes widened very slightly as he stared back at his Fukutaichou, trying to work out exactly when the man had become so perceptive. With a small sigh, he realised he had always been that way, it had just taken him a long time to notice Renji and hold him with the regard he deserved, "If I require your advice I shall as for it." His words were cutting, but his tone was anything but.
The redhead smirked faintly and nodded, "Of course, Taichou. I'll be with Rukia if you require that advice."
"Look after her well." He turned his back on the man and continued into Ichigo's room, closing the door firmly behind him.
