Chapter Twenty Nine:

Ichigo walked so far and for so long that he realised he no longer knew where he was. He'd left the dirt paths of Western Rukongai some time ago, instead opting to whisk himself away through the grassy terrain surrounding the district. His walk so far had done nothing to ease the anxiety settling in his chest, he had been so excited at the idea of exploring his past, of finding out what had become of people he would have known as a child but when actually confronted with it the idea became terrifying.

He wasn't sure why it scared him so much, it wasn't as if he would have to approach anyone he would have known, he just wanted to find out more about himself. Logically, he knew there was nothing to be afraid of, yet his heart refused to settle down when he considered it.

Pausing, his eyes lifted from his sandals and he observed where he had ended up, frowning faintly at the scene in front of him.

There was a moderately sized house up ahead, with a pair of horrific looking statues outside, shaped like arms stretching up towards the heavens, and behind the building appeared to be a large tower of some kind, far too big for the home it belonged to, everything about it seemed out of place.

Grumbling as he realised he needed directions to get back to Rukongai, he approached, hoping he found the residents of the house to be hospitable and helpful. Shoving his hands into his pockets as he grew closer, he was forced to leap back as two large men appeared in a flash of Shunpo, startling him.

Ichigo squinted at them, they were tall; muscled and bulky, small moustaches tickled their top lips as they observed him with small piggy-like eyes. They seemed to be bald, the crown of their heads hidden by scarlet hats.

"Sorry for the intrusion, I'm a little lost, I was hoping for directions-" Ichigo's voice trailed off as the two men dropped to their knees and bowed to him, heads almost touching the floor, "Uh..."

"Ichigo-sama!" They said in unison, "Welcome back, Ichigo-sama!"

"Uh... What?" He blinked, "How do you know my name?"

"Koganehiko! Shiroganehiko!" A female voice shouted suddenly from the doorway behind the two large men. The voice yelled out again before the owner appeared from the shadows and looked over at them.

Ichigo faltered, staring at her for several long minutes. There was a tickle of familiarity, she looked like someone he knew, someone he knew from a long time ago. But he couldn't quite put his finger on it. She had long black hair which was barely tamed by the crazy bandages tangled in her locks, one of her arms was a prosthetic replacement limb which she seemed to carry with pride. Her face was heart shaped, mouth sculpted into a permanent smirk and her eyes, her brilliant blue eyes were sparkling with amusement beneath her fringe.

"Ichi?" The woman breathed, striding across the lawn towards him, eyes running up and down his form with an intense scrutiny.

"Do you... Do I... Know you?" He frowned.

"Know me? Of course you do!" She blinked.

"He doesn't remember us, Kūkaku-sama!" One of the men exclaimed sadly.

The woman, Kūkaku, drew closer still, until she was within touching distance. Her eyes searched his for a long moment before she lifted her hand and rested it on the top of his head, ruffling his hair gently, "Little cousin Ichi has gotten big, huh?"

"Cousin?" He felt the desire to pull away from her touch, but couldn't bring himself to do it, "I'm... What?"

Her smirk disappeared, replaced with a tone of sadness, "So, Yoruichi was telling the truth. The bitch. You really did lose your memories. All this time, I thought you were dead."

He swallowed thickly, there was no hint of a lie in her gaze but he felt an uncomfortable pull in his gut, "I-I'm sorry. I'm really confused right now."

"It's fine, come in, we can talk properly." The woman named Kūkaku nodded towards the house.

"I don't know, I really should be getting back..." He trailed off, the drawing desire for information was strong.

"I don't remember asking." She grinned suddenly and grabbed him by the scruff of his collar, hauling him inside the house without another word.

The house was bigger on the inside than it appeared from the outside, dipping down into the earth via a huge staircase. He was certain it was capable of rivalling the Kuchiki mansion without any difficulty.

Ichigo slipped his sandals off respectfully, following Kūkaku into a large room which lay beyond a pair of slightly open shōji doors. There was a vast pile of purple cushions in the centre of the wooden floor which the woman instantly flopped down onto, reclining comfortably as she watched him kneel down.

Ichigo swallowed as he looked around, tension rising through him like a snake uncoiling ready to strike. He had no memory of the place, and yet the smell was so familiar he could almost taste it on his tongue. He winced, pain spiking the side of his skull.

"Who am I to you?" He asked, gritting his teeth as he tried to ignore the gnawing discomfort.

"You... You are my cousin. I haven't seen you in... Fuck, it must be twenty something years." She whispered, stroking his hair tenderly, "Your father was my uncle."

"My father?" He croaked, not daring to move in case the pain returned with a vengeance.

"You really don't remember, do you?" Her voice turned bittersweet.

He swallowed, "You said... Yoruichi-san told you about it?"

"Yeah, we're old friends. About a month ago she came to me, it was a surprise to see her back in Soul Society." Kūkaku paused, glancing down at him, "She told me everything, about Aizen... The Hōgyoku... Your amnesia. I was planning to come into town to find you soon, I wanted to give you some time to settle I guess."

Pulling back slowly, Ichigo stared at her, searching her face thoughtfully, "You thought I was dead, like dad?"

"We all did. When we heard the news that Isshin and Masaki had been murdered along with the girls... It seemed impossible that you had survived, even if you were never found. I couldn't believe it when Yoruichi told me you'd been in Soul Society the entire time." She shook her head, lips pursed angrily, "If I had known... I would have taken you in! I'm... Sorry Ichi."

He slumped back as a small frown touched at his face, "I... I remember... Sitting on someone's shoulders..."

"Kaien, my older brother." She smiled faintly, "He loved you like you were his own. You look so much like him now, it's... Like seeing a ghost."

"What happened to him?"

"He... Died..." Kūkaku glanced down, swallowing the lump which had formed in her throat, "His wife too. They died together. Aizen... Aizen experimented on them both."

Ichigo's eyes widened slightly and he felt a knot tighten in his stomach, he swallowed back bile as it threatened to overwhelm him. This was wrong. It was all so strange. How had he ended up finding this place? By chance or intervention? The idea that he'd had family nearby all along was a gut wrenching one. He felt so angry, and yet so sad at the same time.

He blinked, more for his own benefit than anything else. He could feel the truth, it was as if his memories were within touching distance, that he could reach out and snag them, pull them in close and never let go. While the chances of him winding up there were remote, somehow, his heart must have lead him there.

"I think I remember hearing Urahara-san mention you once..." He paused, "You're a... Shiba?"

"That's right. Kūkaku Shiba!" A smile graced her face as she grinned at him, "And you are a Shiba as well!"

"Why did my dad change his name?" He asked, "I was raised as a Kurosaki."

"The... Truth is that Isshin was investigating Aizen, long before anyone else even realised something was wrong. Something happened between them, Uncle had to leave Soul Society and faked his death here. Leaving Kaien in charge until a more direct heir came along. For the sake of protecting himself, and his family, he changed his name. But all that matters is that you're here now! My little cousin Ichi." She reached out and ruffled his hair again fondly, "I heard about your fight with Aizen. You're strong."

"I don't know about that." He flustered, "Nearly died for the trouble."

"Isshin would be proud of you, kid."

"I doubt it." He muttered, sinking down slightly, "Did Yoruichi-san tell you... Everything?"

"About you working for him? Yeah." She shrugged again, apparently acceptance was a family trait, "You came to yours senses in the end, and tried to kick his ass. That's what matters."

The strawberry felt a slight weight lift from his shoulders at her words, smiling meekly as he finally relaxed. It was still unbelievable to know he had family left, to know she accepted him, to know he was cared for. Family...

"This is... So weird." He muttered, rolling his shoulders, "I came out for a breath of fresh air and ended up finding a family... What the fuck?"

Kūkaku laughed at that, "The Soul King works in mysterious ways, kid." She smirked, pulling an ornate smoking pipe from behind her, popping it between her lips as she returned to her cushions, "Whatever, you're here and that's the important thing. Work out the rest of that shit some other time."

He glanced at her and felt himself smile faintly, he really liked her attitude. It was good to feel like he belonged somewhere, and strangely, despite having only known her for all of an hour, he did feel like be belonged. Maybe it was the swirling memories that were drawing closer and closer, the comfort of knowing that he wasn't alone.

Snorting suddenly, Ichigo felt a smirk tug at his lips, "Oh man, I can't wait to tell Byakuya about this. He'll have a field day." He thought back to the pompous son-of-a-bitch who had called him a Dog not all that long ago, he was going to enjoy rubbing the truth in his face when he got the chance.

"I heard you were friendly with Kuchiki. Didn't realise it was a first name basis thing though." She looked at him smugly, "Come on, spill. I wanna know what the deal it."

Blush rising in his cheeks he tried not to make eye contact with her, "Well..." He paused. What was the deal? Were they an item? A fling? A couple? He simply smiled, "He's... Special to me."

Her eyes widened momentarily before she cackled, "I still remember the days when Little Byakuya would get so frustrated and angry over the smallest of things, he would get so utterly enraged by Yoruichi's teasing. It would be interesting to see him again after all this time."

He had seen the briefest of flashes of that anger, only for it to be stowed away with relative ease, or so it appeared from his perspective. He could only imagine what the noble had been like in his youth, "Maybe I'll bring him with me next time." He blanched as he realised he'd assumed he would be welcome again.

"Sounds good." Her grin widened and he rubbed the back of his neck in response.

"I should head back soon, we're heading to the World of the Living for the week, I wanted to try and find out who I was before I lost my memories." He slowly got to his feet and looked at her for a long minute, "I want to say that I hope I'll remember things fully one day, but I can't promise that. Things always seem just out of my reach, it is simply good to know that I'm not as alone as I was lead to believe."

The woman sprang to her feet as he did, walking towards him and slapping him around the back of the head playfully, "Don't worry about it, kid. There may not be many members of the Shiba Clan left but we stick together no matter what. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, you come to me Ichi."

"I will." He promised, hesitating for a moment before he reached out and hugged her, feeling it being returned made his heart sing.

"I'll dig out some photographs for your next visit, maybe we can jog some of those stupid memories to the surface." She pulled back slowly and rubbed his arm.

Ichigo nodded, "I'd love that. Thank you!"

Kūkaku watched from the entrance of her home as Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko acted as Ichigo's guides, taking him back towards Seireitei while talking excitedly to him about their own memories of him. She turned when the last flecks of orange hair disappeared from her view and looked down the stairs into her house, expression unreadable.

"Twenty odd years... How cruel to keep him away for so long. What would you do Brother? If you were here? Heh, what am I saying?" She smiled slightly, closing her eyes, "You'd run after him and throw him up on your shoulders like he was still a little kid, and you'd never stop fighting to give him back what he's lost. I hope you can forgive me, Brother, for not finding him sooner."


Ichigo waved goodbye to his guides as he reached a part of Rukongai he recognised, thanking them for their time and making promises to visit again as soon as he was able to do so. As he made his way through the streets, he had a renewed vigour in his step. He still couldn't believe his luck at having wandered until he was so utterly lost that his heart had found its way somewhere familiar.

Shaking his head, Ichigo bounded back into Seireitei, eager to share his discovery with Byakuya and see what the man made of it all. Anxiety gone, replaced by an keenness to continue finding pieces of himself powered his movements with an eagerness he couldn't fight, not that he wanted to.

He felt incredibly light, feet moving swiftly over wooden walkways with a gentle confidence he'd lacked in the past. Where once his steps had been heavy, dark and borderline reluctant they were now sure, uplifted and determined. Was this what it felt like to have somewhere he belonged?

He dropped down from the many walkways as he grew closer to the entrance to the Kuchiki Estate and he glanced back, sensing a presence lingering behind him. His eyes narrowed as he found himself looking at Norio, the Elder was appraising him coolly from his hiding place beneath one of the many blossom trees.

"Can I help you?" The strawberry asked, his previous politeness gone in the wake of his renewed confidence.

"Perhaps." The man replied, his distaste evident in his tone, "I was wondering what it would take to have you willingly part from Byakuya's side."

The lack of a respectful title wasn't lost on Ichigo, turning to face the man fully, "It would be somewhat difficult, given that I am his Third Seat."

"There are other Divisions." It was a simple statement, but the meaning behind it was anything but, "I am sure the rabble in Eleven would welcome you."

"Is that so?" He breathed, drawing his shoulders back as he stood straight, eyes narrowing, "I won't be going anywhere. Sorry to disappoint you."

Norio walked towards him slowly, his expression calculating, almost as if he was trying to work out what sort of inducement would create the change of mind he wanted, "People are impressed with you, your power; your determination; your talents as a Shinigami."

"I assume you have a point." Ichigo's fingers twitched at his sides.

"I do, as it happens." The man smirked, tilting his head as he observed him, casting his eyes over him slowly as if trying to see what attraction lay there, "I wonder how impressed they would be with your talents as a spy, and a murderer."

He refused to flinch. Refused to break eye contact. Refused to allow the plunging sensation in his stomach show on his face. How did he know? Was he grasping at straws? Did he have evidence? What did he know? Would he tell people? Too many questions... He had to be smart. Show no fear.

"Given your previous suggestions about moving Divisions, they would most likely offer me a place in the Stealth Force." He said bluntly, "Had I not already retired from espionage and assassinations, that is."

"I wonder how true that is." The Elder murmured, eyes narrowing slightly as his mouth sealed in a hard line.

Ichigo chuckled darkly, allowing a wicked grin to stretch across his face as his irises flickered gold momentarily, he leaned in, "Keep pushing me and you might just find out."

He turned his back on the man and walked towards the mansion, he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a backwards glance. His mood had darkened considerably, but he pushed it down, not wanting to cause Byakuya greater concern than what he was already struggling with.

"Was that... Really necessary, Aibou?" Shiro's voice filled his head with an uncertain level of curiosity, "Callin' on me like that is troublesome."

"Probably not, but it felt good at the time." He replied, no longer feeling like he needed to speak aloud when talking to the Hollow.

"Mm, true enough. I think he pissed his pants ya know?"

"Good." He almost growled, but pushed it aside as he walked around the side of the building, coming to stand beside the larger koi pond, staring at the water as it rippled gently in response to the fish swimming below the surface, "I have to say you've been very agreeable recently. Aren't you meant to be trying to take over my soul so you can become the King?"

"I mean... Yeah." He could almost see Shiro shrug, "But... It's gonna sound dumb but... I'm kinda... Content with how things are right now. It's stopped rainin'."

Ichigo chuckled softly at his answer and nodded, he understood what he meant. Despite the stress of Norio's contempt towards him, he was happier than he'd ever been. He had expected to feel lost without a purpose to guide him, but instead he simply felt free. Like he could finally steer his own course, make his own decisions, do what he wanted to do. Be who he wanted to be.

A hand came to rest on his shoulder and he glanced around, smiling as he came face to face with his lover, "Hey."

"Welcome back." Byakuya murmured, sliding his fingers down his arm until he was able to grasp his hand, "Did you get everything done that you needed to?"

"I did." He nodded, "I'm ready to leave when you are."

The desire to tell the man what he'd learned on his walk had quelled in the wake of his conversation with Norio, he would tell him but not right at that moment. He turned and leaned him, pressing a innocent kiss to the nobleman's lips before he pulled back. The anxiety, at least, was gone. He was ready to find out who he was, and who he had been. He knew he could do it with Byakuya at his side.

He wasn't alone.