Author's Note: Thank you a million times over to everyone who has supported this story – particularly if you took the time to leave a review, which is appreciated beyond belief! Life is chaotic and they provide amazing motivation to keep coming back. And, as you might be able to tell with this chapter, they're quire formative and certainly help me decide on future plot lines!

This chapter is slightly different/shorter than the last few... and in case anyone is interested in my writing process, I'll explain here. Whenever I write a chapter, I tend to have one key scene in my mind (for last chapter it was the Black Lake, for the previous chapter, it was the love potion, and so on). Then I try to fill in the details, to make sure that there's some degree of character development and to try and establish sufficient motivations. However, lately, my 'filling in the details' has been running away on me, resulting in increasingly long chapters. By the time I was ready to start writing 'the scene' for this chapter, I already had 10,000+ words, so I decided to cut myself off and split it into two. Incidentally, if anyone has a preference between shorter, more frequent chapters and longer, but less frequent chapters, please let me know, because that would actually be super helpful.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

"So, I nobly abandon my efforts – I would have won, of course, if it weren't for the interruption,"

"Oh, of course."

"And I make it back to the shore. And what do I see?"

"What do you see?"

"Our dearest Lily, wearing nothing but her knickers—"

"I was also wearing a shirt."

"Snogging James senseless!"

"Forcing air into his lungs."

"As I come closer, she somehow manages to pull herself away from his lips. But then I see her grinding on top of his body."

"I was performing CPR."

"The muggle term for dry-humping."

"Sirius!" Lily objected, taken aback. It was a Saturday evening in April and, for a change, Lily was not using the time to study for final exams. Instead, she found herself sitting on the floor in her room with her three female dorm-mates – and three teenaged boys who had shown up unannounced. It didn't take long for Sirius to casually make mention of Lily's recent heroism out at the Black Lake, but he was floored to discover her friends had no idea what he was talking about. Truthfully, Lily was still trying to process the whole ordeal herself, so she hadn't confided in a soul. But Sirius, ever the entertainer, was more than happy to tell the story on her behalf.

"Alright, Evans. Since you claim to be a first-aid expert, what does CPR even stand for?"

"I—" Lily started. She had no idea, but was desperately trying to come up with something. Chest... pressure... She abandoned the idea. "I don't know," she admitted sheepishly.

"I knew it!" Sirius declared proudly as the room erupted in giggles. "So as I was saying, Evans was practically shagging the bloke."

"Merlin, Sirius, you could at least try to base this story on something resembling the truth."

"I am, Evans. We should try and find a pensive so you can see how it looked to an outsider."

"Thanks but no thanks." Lily had a strong preference to never relive that night again as long as she lived.

"Anyways. Eventually she managed to shag Prongs back to life. But he's still got a bad gash on his leg, so Evans decided to play the role of Sexy Nurse—"

"Evans told everyone loudly and repeatedly that he needed to go to the hospital wing," she corrected, referring to herself in the third-person.

"Whatever," he responded indifferently. "So she turns quite bossy and starts ordering us all about. I'm sure Prongs enjoyed the sight tremendously."

"Amidst his cries of pain," Lily interjected.

"And then she patched him all up and he lived to tell the tale! Or, rather, lived so that I could tell the tale."

"Lily!" Mary cried, once it was obvious that story time was over. "You're a real-life hero! Why on earth didn't you tell us?"

"Agreed," Marlene said. "I can't believe we had to get the excitement second hand from Sirius." He pretended to take great offence to this comment.

"My version of the story is a little less entertaining," Lily said delicately. "In fact, I will venture to say it's far more macabre."

"I'm sure it was actually quite traumatic," Alice commented, causing Lily to nod vigorously.

"Still," Marlene continued. "This is the boy you haven't been able to shut up about for years. And then you go and literally save his life and conveniently forget to mention it?"

Lily blushed a little bit at such an open acknowledgement of her feelings between these groups – even if those feelings were hardly a secret. "Fat load of good it's done me anyway," she said bitterly.

"What do you mean, Lily?" Alice inquired.

"Have you seen me with James in weeks?" Lily shot back. It hurt to ask the question, even rhetorically, but it was based in truth.

"I haven't really taken note..." Alice trailed off. Lily looked to the boys to help her out.

"He's been a little distant," Remus commented tactfully.

"You see, ladies," Lily explained, as though she were giving them a valuable life lesson. "Usually when one's life is saved, they feel appreciative – dare I say, indebted. Or so I would imagine. But in James, it seems to have done just the opposite and caused him to harbour some deep-seated resentment." Lily was overstating things a little, but it didn't feel that far off the truth. She had spent some time with the James and the others here and there (mostly at meals), but by and large, James seemed to be going out of his way to avoid Lily whenever possible.

"No," Peter whined.

"What? Who said that?" Lily said, feigning ignorance. "Was it James?" she asked, turning her had every which way. "I guess I'm hearing things again."

"Where is James anyway?" Alice asked the boys.

"He's in our room," Peter answered. "He's been ignoring us a bit too, Lily."

"Oh, great, so I made him hate all of us and not just me," she shot back sarcastically.

"He doesn't hate anyone," Remus said reasonably. "He's just... confused."

"I fail to see what's so confusing," Mary said indignantly. "He should break up with Candice and marry Lily, his knight in shining armour."

"Just how I always imagined my future husband would describe me," Lily said, batting her eyelashes. No one paid her any mind.

"Indeed," Marlene agreed. "What is confusing?"

"Maybe 'confused' is the wrong word," Remus back-peddled. "Perhaps 'emasculated' is more accurate?"

"Oh, poor James," Lily whined in jest. "I feel so bad that I saved his life."

"Saving someone's life is a big deal in the wizarding world, Evans." Lily felt inclined to point out that muggles – contrary to popular belief – also valued their lives, but she kept that to herself. "I think he resents that he even put you in that position," Sirius continued. "And now he isn't sure how to act around you."

Lily sighed. "Don't make me actually feel bad for the guy. He's clearly being a prat."

"He is, he is," Sirius agreed, putting his hands up as though to surrender. "And we've tried telling him, but he'd just prefer to brood."

"Mature," Lily summarized with a sigh.

The conversation turned to other topics, but Lily's mind lingered on recent events. It stung every time she saw James leave the Great Hall just as she started her meal or intentionally announce that he was going to study in his room or with Candice. But truthfully, what alternative did Lily even want at this point? It wasn't exactly like she was desperate for things to return to the way that had been earlier in the semester... and much as she was dying for James and Candice to part ways, she had no desire for that to be conceptually-linked to Lily saving his life. No longer sure which of her options were the least painful, Lily was taking more and more to just focusing on her studies, thinking about James as little as possible, and waiting for summer holidays. After all, for someone who aspired to be an emotionally-balanced and well-adjusted individual, Lily felt like she had been riding an emotional rollercoaster for the past six months – and she very much wanted a break before hopping back on again.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Lily Evans was utterly exhausted in every possible sense of the word. As exams drew nearer, Lily found herself studying more and more and sleeping less and less. Of course, every time she climbed into bed and closed her eyes, she started seeing visions of James: hovering on his broom with an outstretched hand, snogging Candice over breakfast, floating lifeless at the bottom of the Great Lake, making up excuses not to see her... They were so frustrating that half the time she did go to bed, she gave up and continued to study until the wee hours of the morning. Naturally, as she became increasingly sleep-deprived, her ability to cope with her runaway emotions flew out the window.

And so, Lily found herself sitting in the Common Room, trying desperately to study. It was that horrible time of day – after class, but before supper – where she could hardly ever keep her eyes open. She had stayed up until five in the morning and was running on fumes. Couple that with the warmth of the fire and she was completely done for. Lily was aware that she had been staring at the same page for far too long and felt the length of her blinks get longer and longer...

"Hey," a soft voice greeted. Lily forced her eyes open and tore them away from her History of Magic textbook. She rubbed them as if she could actually rub away her fatigue as she took in the sight of James, perched on the coffee table in front of her.

"Sorry," she said slowly. "Have we met before...?" Lily had imagined James approaching her countless times over the past few weeks and – in her mind – she always greeted him with similar sass. However, she probably wouldn't have actually followed through with it if he had caught her even half-awake.

James leaned back ever so slightly as he took in her words. Then he raised one of his hands and dragged it through his hair. "I guess I deserve that," he acknowledged after a moment. "Sorry I haven't been around much."

Lily had no idea how to respond. She almost reflexively assured him that it didn't matter, but she managed to firmly suppress that instinct. Her next was to snap at him, but she suppressed that as well. The end product of this internal fighting was an intense, lingering stare that she eventually realized was making him uncomfortable. She forced herself to soften her gaze. "How's your leg?" she finally asked. She had been quite curious over the past few weeks.

"Oh, it's good," he answered, seemingly surprised by her line of thought. "A bit scarred, but that's no big deal." Lily listened intently, waiting to hear something that might resemble thank you, but it wasn't forthcoming.

"Good. I'm glad that seems to have worked out well for you," she replied pointedly. His hand left his hair and adjusted his glasses instead. Lily decided – mostly for her own benefit – that she had succeeded in making him feel slightly guilty and ashamed.

"Anyways," he pivoted. "I just wanted to come talk to you. Truthfully, I'm a bit worried about you."

"What?" she asked, shocked. Begrudgingly, she accepted that he apparently felt neither guilty nor ashamed – and instead, might have noticed her general descent into madness.

"You look terrible."

Lily was sure her eyes flashed and had to practically bite her tongue. Don't start a fight, don't start a fight. "I'm so glad you found the time to come talk to me, James," she said viciously. "This is exactly what's been missing from my life the past few weeks." Part of her brain celebrated her quick wit; the other part recognized she was letting her emotions get the better of her.

"That came out wrong," he backpedalled.

"It better have," she warned.

"You look like you're not taking care of yourself," he explained carefully. "I can tell that you're not sleeping. I'm just worried, is all."

For a split second, Lily swooned. Even if he'd been a right prat the past several months, she couldn't help the way she felt about him – and seeing him sitting right in front of her, expressing genuine concern for her wellbeing, felt like the equivalent of a nice, warm hug.

But then the second passed.

"Thank you, James," she said in a falsely-serene voice. "For your concern. And your reminder. Sometimes I can forget that sleep is important."

James grew visibly exasperated. "Are you mad at me or something?" Lily almost laughed, but she managed to contain herself.

"Whatever for?" she asked innocently, staring into his eyes. Say it, she demanded with hers. Just say it.

"Never mind," he said instead. Lily cursed every hair on his gorgeous, messy head. James leaned back and sighed. "Just – are you okay?" he asked.

"Never been better," she answered sternly. "I'm living the dream." Lily waited for him to say something, anything, but he just sat there looking irritated and unimpressed. Suddenly, Lily was consumed with a burning desire to put as much distance between herself and that stupid expression as possible. "Well James," she said, snapping her textbook shut. "I think I'm going to take a leaf out of your book and go study in my room." Lily popped up from the couch, turned on her heels, and marched up to the girls' dorms. She celebrated the whole way that her mouth and feet performed under pressure.

Who would have guessed she'd ever reach a point where she was the one abruptly ending conversations with James and not the other way around?

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Things only seemed to worsen for Lily as April drew to a close. Increasingly frustrated with James' hot and cold attitude, Lily had taken to avoiding James just as much as he was avoiding her. Unfortunately, as the Marauders were more or less a packaged deal, this meant she was frequently electing to abandon the whole lot of them. Absent any other friends or hobbies, this also meant that studying had returned to being Lily's sole pastime. She could almost feel her social skills and graces melt away with each passing day.

"Can you two please stop this lovers' quarrel," Sirius requested as he and Peter sat down for breakfast one morning. Lily felt like a zombie after sleeping for just one hour overnight. She was too nauseous to eat breakfast and had showed up solely to nurse a black tea.

"Unrequited lovers' quarrel," she corrected immediately – and not for the first time.

"Minimal difference," he told her simply.

"It's a world of difference," she droned. "You end a lovers' quarrel and you go back to being a happy couple. You end an unrequited lovers' quarrel and you return to an awkward and ultimately doomed friendship."

"You're so dark and dramatic in the mornings," he complained.

"Perhaps," she said simply. She wasn't really in the mood to be talking to anyone, let alone a pair of teenaged boys.

"Anyways," Sirius carried on. "If you could patch things up, it would simplify our lives greatly."

"Agreed," commented Peter. "It's like you're making us choose between living with our mum and dad."

On another day, Lily might have been greatly amused at being likened to the parent of boys who were almost three years older than her. But today wasn't that day. "Right," she said sharply as topped up her tea. "I'm doing this because I'm hoping to poach James' friends. I wonder who's going to get custody?" she asked rhetorically.

"We do like you, you know," Peter pointed out.

"Of course you do. I'm endearing in a naïve and clumsy way, right?" Neither one of the boys said anything. "So yes, you just keep telling me how much you like me in between spending all of your time with one another, with your secrets and your pacts and your boys' nights." Lily suspected she had gone too far, but simultaneously felt like she was losing control. Between her lack of sleep and the fog of early morning, she seemed to have lost any remnant of a filter she might otherwise have had.

Lily decided to see herself out, as she wasn't even eating breakfast. She had every intention of leaving with her full teacup (and contributing to the alarmingly large collection of stolen Hogwarts dishes at her bedside), but she stood up so quickly that she spilled most of the tea on her blouse. She gave an exasperated sigh as she placed the cup down on the table and started shaking the tea off her very wet hand. Then she gave up and just wiped it on her blouse, which was drenched anyhow. At that moment, James entered the Great Hall. The pair made direct eye contact, and she could only imagine the sight he was treated to at that moment. "Don't worry," Lily said, turning her attention to Sirius and Peter, "the cool parent is here." She probably said it too loudly and James probably heard her – but she already looked like a lunatic, so she figured she might as well talk the talk.

Lily was still in a cloud of anger when she sat down in Transfiguration. "Er, Lily?" she heard shortly before Alice sat down in the chair next to her. Lily gave a noncommittal grunt in response. "You're literally covered in tea," Alice observed.

"I spilled," Lily said by way of explanation

"No shit," Marlene commented crudely with a laugh.

Alice continued with slightly more tact. "It didn't occur to you to change your shirt? Or charm it?"

Lily sighed. "I'd have to take it off to charm it," she said simply, referring to the requisite hand movement.

"Scourgify," Marlene said as she sat down in the desk in front of Lily's. Lily nodded in thanks and looked down to see that at least most of the tea stain was gone.

The remainder of the class did not go much better. Lily caught herself falling asleep twice during the lesson; the third time Alice had to jab her in the side to get her to wake up. When it was time for them to practice producing a bouquet of flowers, Lily was completely lost, and even Alice's hastily whispered tips weren't enough for her to conjure anything other than thorns. She left class covered head-to-toe in scratches, as though she had narrowly survived a fight with a feral cat.

After Transfiguration, Lily decided to skip lunch, reasoning that she clearly needed a nap if she had any chance of surviving the day. She parted ways from the rest of the fourth-years and made her way up to the Gryffindor common room.

"Semper fortis," Lily told the Fat Lady hastily, hopeful she might get to spend a full half-hour in bed.

"No 'hello'?" She responded indignantly.

"Sorry," Lily sighed, rubbing her eyes. "I haven't been myself today."

"I should say," the Fat Lady agreed. "You look as though you've just been to war."

"Oh, I have," Lily agreed. "But unfortunately just with myself." There was a beat of silence. "I was hoping to go grab a quick nap," Lily said, pointing in the vague direction of the staircase leading to the girls' dormitory.

"Of course, but I'll need the password."

"Semper fortis," Lily repeated, wondering why she hadn't already been let into the common room.

"Sorry my dear," The Fat Lady replied. "But that was last week's password."

Lily groaned and tried desperately to remember what the new password was. "I don't know what it was changed to."

"Is that a concern of mine?" the Fat Lady asked, clearly offended.

"Couldn't you let me in, just this once?" Lily practically whined.

"I certainly could not."

"But you know me," Lily continued. "We've known each other for four years. And you saw me leave this morning. And I knew semper fortis was the password up until last night. And I really need a nap." Lily could hear her own voice and was acutely aware she sounded like someone on the cusp of a psychotic break. However, she dared anyone to do any better on the same level of sleep.

Before Lily had a chance to truly ruin her relationship with the portrait for the rest of her time at Hogwarts, she swung open to allow a student to leave. Lily waited, ready to accost the student and learn the password. Much to her dismay, it was none other than James.

"Lily," James said, clearly surprised to see her lingering by the common room.

Do you have to be everywhere? she practically screamed in response. She managed to say nothing but instead gave him a stare that she was sure looked nothing short of manic.

"Er, are you okay?" he asked as he took in her dishevelled (to put it kindly) appearance.

Ah, my favourite question, she thought to herself. She idly wondered what James would say or do if she actually said 'no' for a change – but she filed that social experiment away for another day. "I'm fine," she replied. Fine is a bit of a stretch.

"Alright then," James said as he started to turn and walk away. Lily felt like screaming, crying, or hitting something. Miraculously, she contained all three impulses.

"Wait," she called out desperately. James turned around to look at her and gave her an inquisitive look. "I need the new password."

"Mea culpa." Lily laughed. To James, she probably looked like she belonged in an asylum.

When Lily finally flopped face down on her bed, she was so enraged, she couldn't even sleep.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Officially finished with all human interactions, Lily spent supper in her room trying to catch up on the Transfiguration lesson she had butchered that morning. She had originally started studying while reclining in her bed, but realized quickly that she would never be able to keep her eyes open that way. And so, reluctantly, she was now studying by sitting on the floor, encircled by a litany of open textbooks and notebooks. Her back and neck protested strongly in pain

"Hi Lily," she heard one of the girls say as they entered the dorm, back from supper. She ignored them and continued to study. Then she watched them all sit on the floor on the other side of her textbooks.

"Lily," Mary said with a little wave to get her attention.

"Hi," Lily replied, not sure why they were all acting so oddly.

"We wanted to talk to you," Alice started.

"Okay," Lily said slowly, looking from girl to girl. "About what?"

"About you," Alice answered ambiguously.

"We're having an intervention," Marlene clarified.

Lily was at a loss for words. "Am I addicted to something I don't know about?" she joked after a moment.

"I wish," Mary joked. "That would make this a lot simpler."

"So what's this all about?"

"Lily, you're not taking care of yourself," Alice explained. "You're a total mess. And that was obvious even before you started walking around covered in tea and blood."

Lily felt herself getting defensive. "So you want me to... what? Be less of a mess?" Her voice sounded dangerously frantic.

"Ultimate goal," Marlene agreed. "But for now, we'd settle for you getting more regular sleep."

Lily sighed. "I'm really getting tired of people telling me to sleep," she said as carefully as she could manage. "Do you honestly think I wouldn't love to get more sleep?"

"So why don't you?" Alice asked.

She exhaled sharply. "I don't know," she snapped. "It's exam time."

"You do realize we all take the same courses, right?" Marlene joked.

"And that exams are over a month away," Mary added.

"Yes, I get that," she said sharply. "I don't know what to tell you. My life is... complicated."

"We get that, Lils," Mary told her. "But that's why we have each other. So we can talk things out and you don't have to bottle your feelings away like one of your potions."

"That's why you three have each other," Lily snapped without thinking. "And that's why the Marauders have each other. And I just—" she didn't even know how to finish that thought. "Just forget it. I have to study." She grabbed her Transfiguration book and fled her room.

Lily stormed downstairs, feeling close to exploding. Unfortunately, it was peak hours for the common room and all of the seats were already taken. I guess I'd just fall asleep on the couch anyway she reasoned and decided to go sit on the floor with her back against the wall. Once she slumped to the ground, all of her anger seemed to melt away; after a few deep breaths, it was replaced completely with profound sadness. Her mind didn't even seem to be able to settle on a single topic as she rapidly cycled through her family, the girls, the Marauders, her terrible coping skills, and, of course, James. She blinked back a few tears.

"Is this rock bottom?" she heard a voice ask. She could tell it belonged to Remus and that she was staring at his feet.

"Oh Remus," she replied without meeting his eyes. "Never underestimate my ability to sink lower."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Not even remotely."

"Are you okay?"

"I'd be a lot better if no one asked me that ever again." Her whole world seemed to be spinning out of control.

"Is she okay?" she heard Marlene ask in a hushed tone. She appeared to be attracting quite the crowd.

"Apparently we're not supposed to ask her that."

"Lily," Mary said softly, as though she were a small child. "I'm sorry if we came on a bit strong up there. Why don't we go for a walk or something?"

Lily sighed, wary of making much more of a scene. "I'm fine," she said numbly as she stood up from the ground. Then, she realized her world wasn't just figuratively spinning. The edges of her vision darkened and she stumbled to the side.

She heard a lot of voices call out and felt Remus grab her by the shoulders and steady her. He walked her over to the couch and evicted the group of second-years that were occupying all the seats.

"Have you eaten all day, Evans?"

"Oh, great, Sirius is here too," she said sarcastically, neglecting to answer his question.

"She wasn't at supper," Mary confirmed.

"She skipped lunch," she heard a voice – James' voice – supply.

"No wonder you're nearly passing out!" Marlene remarked. "Lily, just sit. I'm going to go get you something to drink." She returned with a cup of tea and Lily was all too happy to drink it and hide her face from the rather large group of people before her.

Lily was feeling increasingly faint but, as with the entirety of Gryffindor, attributed this to her nonexistent diet. She realized a moment too late that something else was going on. "Marlene," she said slowly, as she tried to focus on her face. "What was in this tea?"

"A sleeping draught," she answered.

"What?" Lily asked, clinging to consciousness. "Where did you even get one?"

Marlene chuckled. "It's your potion, Lils. You brewed it."

Lily passed out before she even had time to lament that she was undermined by her own hobby.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Lily rolled onto her back and slowly blinked her eyes open. She stared up at the top of her four-poster trying to orient herself. Her recent lunacy now seemed like a distant memory, but she was finding it slightly difficult to orient the narrative. In contrast, her bladder was a much more pressing concern, so she got up to attend to it (nearly fainting in the process). As she came back and sat on the edge of her bed, she started getting unfortunate flashbacks – yelling at her friends, crying on the floor of the common room, almost collapsing as she stood up. She leaned down and tucked her head between her knees, wishing she could make it all go away.

"Hey!" she heard excited voices calling to one another a few minutes later.

"Sleeping beauty is awake!" Marlene declared happily, sitting next to Lily on her bed.

"You drugged me," Lily said as she remembered the tea.

"That I did," Marlene acknowledged happily, patting her on the back.

"How long have I been asleep for?" Lily asked, trying to look out the window to gage the time.

"Oh, what would you say, Alice?" Mary asked. "About 20 hours?"

"What?" Lily yelped. "I missed a whole day?"

"You didn't miss it," Alice told her. "You just used it to start repaying some of your sleep debt."

"What about class?" Lily asked, horrified.

Marlene patted her – somewhat condescendingly – on the shoulder. "Relax, we covered for you."

"But what about–"

"We submitted your History of Magic paper, don't worry."

Lily sighed and covered her face. "I think I'm losing touch with reality," Lily told them glumly.

"We couldn't agree more," Marlene told her, still patting her on the shoulder.

"What do I do now?" Lily whined.

"You talk to us, and we make it better," Alice said matter-of-factly.

"I screamed at all of you and made a right fool of myself," Lily commented truthfully.

"Ancient history," Alice replied.

"I suggest we start with food," Mary commented. "I don't think you've eaten in days."

Lily shook her head earnestly. "I'm so nauseous."

"Yes," Mary agreed. "I think that's because you haven't eaten in days."

"I've felt too sick," Lily explained.

"Yes," Mary repeated. "I think that's because—"

"Are we going to do this all night?" Marlene interrupted. "Or are we going to go get her some food?"

"Where are we going?" Lily asked slowly.

"Well, we figured the last place you would want to go is the Great Hall," Mary commented. Lily nodded in agreement. "But we also figured," she said deviously, "that you probably know where the kitchens are."

"Oh," Lily commented with a laugh. "Yeah, I do," she confirmed, thinking of that fateful day in second year when she had gone there with James. It was hard for her to even remember a time when she didn't know where the kitchens were and completely forgot that her female friends would have been in the dark.

And so, Lily found herself sitting in the kitchens with Mary, Marlene, and Alice, having the only meal she thought she could stomach – a slice of toast and some apple juice. She was sure she looked like a complete and total mess, but the girls were kind enough to pretend not to notice.

"Do you want to talk about it, Lily?" Alice asked after Lily abandoned the other half of her toast.

"Talk about what?" she asked. After all, nothing in particular had happened.

"You," she offered. "Your life. Whatever's making you spiral out of control."

Lily sighed. "The thing is, you guys already know everything. I'm not sitting on some huge secret... I'm just rubbish at coping." This entire situation was unspeakably embarrassing. Lily had always prided herself on being calm and mature. She was the student who could sit by herself at breakfast with a book and look unbothered and aloof – of course, it was all a ruse, but it was one that she worked very hard to maintain. The fact that she had reached this point was devastating in and of itself.

"Well Lily," Mary reasoned. "We may know everything, but we haven't heard everything. I doubt Sirius' version was the most accurate."

Lily chuckled a little and wiped her eyes before her tears had a chance to stain her face.

"Besides," Marlene commented. "Preparing for exams is terribly boring and we could all use a good story. Tell us what you've been up to this term," she ordered.

Lily hesitated. Where to start? Then she simply decided to throw pride out the window. Avoiding most of the girls' eyes, she recounted the events just prior to the Christmas, where Lily had embarrassingly thought that she and James might be about to get together. Then she told them all about unceremoniously discovering Candice when she returned from winter holidays and about how James started passively ignoring her. She even discussed her low self-esteem and her fateful incident with her love potion. After the love potion, she had tried so hard to reconcile her insecurity and frustration with her genuine friendship and well-wishes for all the Marauders – she didn't even let it get to her when she saw James and Candice after the Quidditch match and instead viewed it as an excellent bonding opportunity for herself and the other boys.

But then Lily arrived at more recent events. She gave the girls her version of her misadventures at the Black Lake, taking care to highlight the gruesome details Sirius had glossed over. She had no idea what it would do to her relationship with James, but the results were so disastrous, she even caught herself wishing that she hadn't joined in on their prank whatsoever. Lily discussed how James's efforts to ignore her turned from passive to extremely active. And then she, begrudgingly, had to derail her previous story of personal growth. No longer able to tolerate any of these actions, Lily had taken to alienating all of her friends and neglecting to take even the most basic care of herself.

Lily sighed, and looked at each of her dorm-mates. "I never wanted any of this," she felt compelled to clarify. "I really just wanted to go to school and learn magic and stay out of teenaged melodrama."

Marlene laughed. "That's more melodrama in a semester than most of us have over seven years at Hogwarts."

Lily sighed again. "I'm aware," she agreed in defeat.

"You could have talked to us about all of this earlier," Alice said kindly. "I'm sorry it came to spiking your drink."

"Thank you for spiking my drink." Things you never thought you'd say in fourth-year. Lily took a deep breath. She had already told them 99% of her life, why not go for broke? "Honestly, I have a bit of a hard time talking to you three," she said carefully. "I've gotten better over the past year, of course," she added hastily when she watched their faces fall. "But we never really got off to the best start. When we met, you all just knew so much about magic, and I felt like such an outsider..." Lily trailed off. It sounded far sillier now that she had said it than it ever did in her mind.

"Surely that doesn't matter anymore," Mary observed. "You're better than us in at least half our subjects."

"More than half," Marlene agreed.

"Speak for yourself," Mary chastised. They turned to Lily.

"No, of course not," Lily agreed. Then she changed her mind. "Well, yes it does still matter. I'll always feel like an outsider. But also..." how to explain? "At this point, you've all just been such good friends for so many years. And yes, you've always been kind and friendly with me, but you're also... just clearly such better friends with each other than you are with me."

There was a pregnant pause during which Lily thoroughly chastised herself for having such petty concerns.

"That's not..." Mary started to speak, but clearly didn't know how to finish her thought.

"No, she's right," Alice concurred after a moment. Mary and Marlene gave her alarmed looks. "Let me clarify," she assured them. "Lily, we've always liked you and admired you. And we want to support you," she said with a smile. "But we'd be lying if we tried to rewrite history and say that we were always as close with you as we are with each other." Lily tried her best not to cry, but tears won out.

"Your clarification didn't help," Marlene said pointedly.

"Well I just wasn't finished yet," Alice huffed. "I was just going to add that this is our fault. We were scared when we started here too, Lils. Maybe not as much as you – definitely not as much as you – but we were still scared. And hanging out with each other just seemed like such a natural grouping. And you never seemed to mind!" The other girls nodded vigorously. "But obviously you did and we probably knew that on some level."

At this point Lily was sobbing uncontrollably. It was as though she were grieving some iconic school experience she never had.

"But we know now," Mary agreed, reaching out to rub Lily's shoulder. "We haven't always been there for you, but we want to be moving forward." Lily tried to smile, but she ended up crying even harder.

"And honestly," Marlene commented. "You've looked retched for weeks and we definitely should have intervened sooner. I swear, you were moments from accidentally falling out a Hogwarts window or something."

"I think she would have shouted 'I'm fine' as she plummeted to the ground," Mary joked. Lily couldn't help but laugh (perhaps more forcefully than she would have liked) and had to quickly wipe some snot from her nose.

"So what do you think is going to happen with you and the Marauders?" Alice asked after a moment.

Lily weighed this thought for a moment. "I don't think there really is a 'me and the Marauders' anymore," she said at last. She had to fight extremely hard not to start crying again.

"What do you mean?"

"Even before this saving-James'-life debacle, it was getting kind of awkward. Candice obviously had no idea why I was hanging around so much and I was beginning to question that myself. Plus," Lily took a big breath. "This year's almost finished and next year they'll be in their last year, studying for their N.E.W.T.s and planning for their future. And then they'll be in the real world, but I'll still be years behind them."

"I think you think too much... about everything," Marlene commented.

"So all those years of pining," Mary mused. "This is how it ends? It just fizzles out?"

"I'm trying to pine a little less these days. James is making it a easy anyways, since he clearly has no interest in me and watching him be a prat is quite unattractive." No one said anything. "I said trying, sheesh. I'd say I'm about 10% of the way there," Lily commented, laughing at her own expense.

"Why do you think he's being such a prat, though?" Mary asked. "I still don't understand. You'd think it would be so romantic to have your life saved..."

"Maybe less romantic if you already have a girlfriend and she wasn't the one who did the saving," Alice observed, not unreasonably.

Lily let out a long breath. "At first I thought maybe he just didn't want Candice to know about it and that's why he was being so weird, but at this point... it obviously has to be more than that."

"So?" Alice prompted.

"My guess? He only ever hung out with me because I was lost and alone and he was doing me some sort of favour... but then I weaseled my way into his friend group more than he was expecting. And then I had the audacity to save his life, which I guess seems more permanent or something. So now I think he's just regretting ever me bringing into the fold... or whatever." Lily avoided eye contact, embarrassed at having spoken her worst fear out loud.

"Alternate take on things," Marlene suggested. "You two are meant to be with each other. Your fates are extra linked because you saved his life. James knows that, and that's why he's being such a prat around you."

"Marlene," Alice chastised.

"What, I'm not allowed to voice my opinion?"

"There's no use in getting her hopes up."

"Well, it's what I think," Marlene continued stubbornly. "And that's not just because I have money on the line."

"What?" Lily cried, flipping her head around so fast it hurt.

"Marlene!" Mary chastised as well.

"What money?" Lily asked the group.

"Okay Lily," Mary explained tentatively. "It's not a big deal, don't freak out," she said, as though she were talking someone off a ledge. "It's just something we do sometimes. And since we're better friends now you can do it to!"

"Do what, exactly?"

Mary took a deep breath and pulled her long brown hair away from her shoulders. "We just... think about certain things that might or might not happen in the future. And we think of all the possible outcomes and then assign them to one another. So then if that thing happens, you've won... basically. Sort of."

"So Marlene's going to 'win' if I get together with James?" Lily felt betrayed and defensive.

"Well, that depends," Alice said gently.

Lily felt her temper flair but tried, with significant effort, to bring it back under her control. "On what?" she asked, as though she were feigning indifference.

"I don't remember off the top of my head," Alice replied.

"I do!" Marlene insisted indignantly. "I have them getting together summer before fifth year, Sirius forcing the two of them together, Lily not realizing they're dating until she's in too deep..." Marlene held up fingers as she rhymed off scenarios.

Lily practically had to pick her jaw up off the floor. "How many of these are there?" she asked, astounded.

"Oh, several," Mary replied easily.

"What if multiple of them become true?"

Alice shrugged. "Then we were all sort of right."

"But these are actual bets, right?" Lily still felt like she was failing to process the entire situation.

"Okay, 'bet' is a bit strong," Mary corrected. "If you're right about one, you can convince the others to treat you to a butterbeer or buy you some candy."

"We do have them about other things too, Lils," Alice commented. "They're not all about your love life."

"But at least fifty or so of them are about my love life," Lily said pointedly.

"Er—yes."

"And in every instance, I can't help but notice that I get together with James. It's just a question of when and how?"

"Oh, no," Mary answered. "There are ones where you don't end up together. I have you getting together with one of the other Marauders."

"What?" Lily yelped.

"I'm not saying I think that's going to happen," she added hastily. "Just that it's possible. I also have several of the ones where you do get together."

"I exclusively have ones where you get together," Marlene volunteered. "What can I say? I'm just convinced."

Lily mulled this over for a moment. "So do you have these written down somewhere or something?"

"Of course," Alice answered.

"Well, I know where the rest of the night is going," Lily said simply. "I have to get in on this action."

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Several days after the incident with the spiked tea, Lily found herself sitting with Mary enjoying a late Saturday morning breakfast. Lily was feeling much improved after several days of sleep, proper food, and human contact. "So, are you coming into any money because I chose to have eggs this morning instead of toast?" she asked Mary rhetorically.

Mary chuckled. "Still not over that, eh?" Lily shook her head. "Just wait till we're forced to pick up your Honeydukes bill because you were right about something. Then you'll be a fan."

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but quickly forgot her objection as she turned instead to look at the ceiling. "Didn't the post already come this morning?" she asked Mary as she watched dozens of owls enter the Great Hall. Lily very rarely received any mail (as her family would never use owls if they could possibly avoid it), but even she knew that half past ten was much too late for routine post.

"Yeah," Mary mumbled in agreement. A moment later, an owl dropped a very thin newspaper next to her breakfast. Looking around, Lily was able to see that several other students had received the same parcel. Mary quickly opened it and Lily looked over her shoulder at the title: "The Daily Prophet – Special Bulletin for Our Dedicated Readers." Lily couldn't make out the rest, so she waited patiently until Mary skimmed it. She could hear what seemed like hundreds of hushed conversations in all corners of the Hall.

Mary handed her the paper when she had finished with a simple "Oi." Lily picked it up curiously:

The writers and editors of the Prophet wanted to notify all subscribing members about a change in our employment practices. Along with several other major businesses (for a full list, turn to page 3), and corresponding to the allowances made by the recent decree by the Ministry of Magic, we will henceforth commence a hiring freeze on all applicants of non-magical descent. Additionally, we will be conducting an internal review of all existing personnel. All employees with fewer than two magical grandparents will be honourably terminated with severance, as permitted by the Act of Protection for Magical Employers. All employees with two magical grandparents...

Lily put down the paper, not wishing to read any further. She cycled through several emotions, but lingered longer than expected on embarrassment. Lily had never subscribed to the Prophet, preferring instead to save her money and spend her time studying. After reading this bulletin, it struck her that she was caught completely by surprise. How had she not heard about these recent laws? Or about any of the other businesses? She started to get a bad feeling deep in her stomach.

"I'm sorry, Lily," Mary said simply. She looked a little uncomfortable, as though she weren't say what to say in this situation.

"Hmm," Lily mumbled in response. She wasn't sure what to say either. "I guess I'll cross journalist off my list," Lily said numbly as she returned the paper to Mary. Looking around the Hall, she could tell there wasn't a single student who was talking about anything else – and a few of the Slytherins were even staring at her directly as they chatted boisterously amongst themselves. Lily blushed and stared down at her eggs, which she started pushing around her plate aimlessly.

"I'm sure there will be other businesses that stand up to all this," Mary said after a few minutes of silence.

"Are you really?" Lily asked simply.

"They can't all refuse to hire muggleborns," she insisted, though she didn't sound too convinced.

"Well, maybe we should put some money on the line. After all, if I'm right, I'll certainly need it."

"That's rather dark," Mary told her.

"So is that," Lily insisted, gesturing at the newspaper.

"I suppose that's true..." she trailed off.

Lily finished her eggs and was just about to leave, when she saw Sirius occupy the seat across from her. She was reasonably confident she had seen him sitting with James and Candice on her way in.

"So Evans," he said by way of greeting. "Have you made up with Prongs yet?"

Lily paused and studied his face for a moment. He looked as carefree and smug as always; if Lily didn't know any better, she would have assumed he hadn't seen the news at all. "You can't possibly be this invested in my drama. Are you just trying to distract me?"

Sirius shrugged effortlessly. "People can have multiple reasons for doing things."

"That's true," she granted. Case in point, Lily thought to herself as she considered how to answer Sirius' original question. Why was she still avoiding James at this point? Anger? Pride? Self-preservation? Masochism? She turned to look at where she knew he was sitting, closer to the entrance to the Hall. Much to her surprise, James and Candice were clearly posturing as though they were arguing. Lily was overcome head-to-toe with a burning desire to know what they were saying. "Was that one of the reasons?" she asked Sirius as she nodded her head in the couple's direction.

"Perhaps," he told her. Lily was very confident she had her answer.

"Please tell me what they're fighting about," she begged.

"Why? Do you care or something?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Of course I care."

"Why's that?"

"Maybe they're fighting about how James is being a huge arse. And then after they're finished, he'll come and apologize to me and admit he was wrong about everything."

"Seems likely. The guy isn't stupidly proud or anything."

"You're really not going to tell me?"

Sirius gave a very intentional sigh. "Only Prongs could find a friend this stubborn."

"Unrequited friendship," Lily pointed out. She tried her best to look stern and keep the corners of her mouth from turning up.

"They're just talking about the same thing everyone else is," he said with a pointed glance toward Mary's newspaper. Then he stood up and left.

"I have so many questions," Lily told Mary as she turned her attention back to the not-so-happy-looking couple.

"About them?"

"Of course," Lily confirmed. "Oh to be a fly on... I don't know, their plate or something."

Mary just laughed. "Isn't Candice thinking of being a journalist?"

Lily frowned. "I honestly don't know." She tended to stop listening when Candice was talking and, embarrassingly, Lily hadn't the faintest idea what her career aspirations were.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that she was thinking journalism."

"So? What's the big deal?" Lily asked, mostly rhetorically. "Everyone and their mother knows she comes from old magic."

Mary just shrugged and started packing up her things. Lily got the distinct impression that she knew more than she was letting on. After a beat, Lily started packing up her things as well. If Sirius was trying to distract me, he certainly succeeded, she thought to herself.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

"Hi Lily."

"Candice," Lily greeted in surprise as she looked up from her books. One of the by-products of getting along better with Mary, Marlene, and Alice was that Lily was spending more and more time at the library. She was finding it increasingly difficult to study in her room, which had previously offered her a reprieve.

"Sorry to interrupt your studying," Candice apologized as she pulled up a chair.

"Oh, you're not," Lily admitted. Despite having the best of intentions, she had only made it through one page of Transfiguration before she gave up and started browsing a recreational potions book.

"Great," Candice said with a smile.

"Er," Lily floundered, unable to take the silence. "Is there something you want to talk about?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," Candice replied with a slight frown. It looked out of place on her usually flawless face.

"What's up?" Lily asked, trying to hide just how uncomfortable this conversation was making her.

"Did something happen between the boys lately? Or between you and the boys?" Lily couldn't help but admire how composed and direct she was.

"Uhh..." Lily muttered. How to explain? "Why do you ask?"

"Things just seem to be a bit tense lately," she answered awkwardly. "James is a bit... distant. And I notice you haven't been around much. They all say everything's fine when I ask, but I was just... wondering." Lily could only assume that everyone had collectively agreed to politely characterize James' antics as 'distant.'

"Oh," Lily said simply. She pushed her books to the side to show that she was listening – and to stall for time. Surprisingly, Lily was immediately overcome with a wave of guilt. For the past few weeks, she had been completely consumed with her own problems, and she was only just now realizing how self-centred she had been. Poor Candice (did she really just think the phrase 'poor Candice'?) had walked into an equally tense and awful situation, only she didn't even have an explanation. "To tell you the truth, I'm not too sure why things have been so dysfunctional for us lately. It's probably a constellation of things – and I probably don't know the whole story."

"Right," Candice said softly. She seemed to be at least partly accepting Lily's explanation. "Why have you been avoiding them?"

"Oh," Lily said again. "Er, actually, at first they were avoiding me. And then eventually, I just grew kind of sick of that dynamic and... reciprocated, I guess." She had no idea what to make of this conversation. It was intimate and genuine. It was also vague and clumsy.

"But what about you and Sirius?" she asked with an encouraging sort-of smile.

"Oh." Lily must have sounded like quite the broken record. "Honestly, Candice..." she trailed off. "I'm not sure that I feel that way for Sirius." Lily frantically scanned every corner of the library, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"You don't fancy him anymore?" she clarified.

"Er, yeah, you could say that." Lily had surely gone red all over.

"Oh good," Candice said with a big smile.

"Huh?" Lily asked, shocked by her response.

"I was a bit worried that whatever's going on with James and I had ruined things for you and Sirius," she explained. "So I'm relieved to hear you're just not interested anymore."

"Oh, yeah," Lily mumbled. Boy did she want to know what was 'going on' with James and Candice.

"You know, Lily. Even if you don't fancy them, I think you can still hang around. I think the boys all like you as a friend. I actually think they're quite protective of you," she said with a chuckle. Lily wasn't sure she wanted the boys to feel protective of her, but she didn't object. Candice continued anyhow. "The other day I accidentally said 'pureblood,' and you should have heard how quickly James called me out on it. I'm sure he was thinking of you."

Lily blinked several times. "Cool," she said blandly, feeling deeply condescended. Lily hoped Candice would sense her passive aggression, but she didn't seem the least bit phased.

"Anyways, I really just wanted to ask if you knew what was going on with them. But it sounds as though you're as confused as I am."

"Mhmm," Lily murmured.

"Nice talking to you," she said as she made to stand up.

"Candice," Lily said, interrupting her. She watched Candice sink back into her chair. "I'm sorry." Lily wasn't sure what had possessed her to say it.

"For what?" she asked with a small question. Fair question, Lily granted. For saving your boyfriend's life?

"Just for the situation," Lily said with a dismissive wave. No further questions, please. "If James is ignoring you even half as much as they're all ignoring me, that must be unbearable." She quickly questioned whether she had said too much, but it was too late to take it back.

"Oh, he's not ignoring me," Candice corrected. "If anything, we're never apart." Lily felt a quick flicker of envy, but tried to set that aside. "He's just emotionally distant, I suppose." She inhaled, then gave a short half-chuckle. "Or maybe short-tempered would be more accurate these days."

Lily had a thousand questions, but she asked none of them. "Well still. I'm sorry for that, then."

Then Candice surprised Lily further still: "It's neither here nor there," she said casually.

"What?"

"He's got drama," Candice explained. "I'm just wondering why. Or if I needed to do anything about it." She gave a noncommittal shrug. "Nice chatting with you, Lily," she said somewhat quickly as she stood up and tried again to leave.

"Hey Candice," Lily called, causing her to stop and turn around. "Do you want to go into journalism?"

Candice's face soured immediately. "You can't honestly tell me that you're going to lambast me too." It sounded harsh and completely foreign from someone who was usually so polished. Lily was taken aback at how completely unattractive it was.

"Not at all," Lily replied immediately. "Someone mentioned it to me the other day and I realized that I had no idea if that's what you planned on doing or not."

"It is," she said in a voice that made it clear she was not going to discuss the matter any further. She left without any further pleasantries. Even though Lily had spent countless hours idly wishing she could see Candice look anything less than pristine, she was surprised at how unsettling it was to actually see with her own eyes.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

"Oooh," Alice said excitedly, rubbing her hands together. "Trouble in paradise!"

"I don't know," Lily protested. "Who knows what they're even fighting about." She had just finished her retelling of her awkward encounter with Candice in the library.

"Are you honestly this thick?" Marlene accused.

"I... what?"

"I think she just acts thick so that we'll be forced to walk her through the situation," Mary talked over her.

"I didn't realize I was being thick," Lily said with a frown.

"Oh sure," Marlene teased. "What on earth could they be fighting about?" she mimicked.

"That's not exactly what I said..."

"Candice is obviously planning on applying to write for the Prophet," Alice explained. "And James obviously prefers to boycott business that discriminate against muggleborns."

"Okay, fine. I admit, that seems likely. So what?"

"So," Mary cut in. "That's obviously not something that's just going to go away. He's fundamentally disagreeing with her life choices."

"Maybe," Lily said obstinately.

"Okay, now we know she's just putting it on," Marlene said to the other two.

"And in any event," Mary continued. "It sounds as though they had problems even before the news about the Prophet."

"We don't know that," Lily argued with a roller of her eyes.

"If it were just about the Prophet, she wouldn't have talked to you at all," Alice observed. "It would have been extremely obvious what the reason was."

"That's true," Marlene agreed. "They've clearly been struggling since the Black Lake."

"Couples fight sometimes," Lily suggested. Mary sighed exasperatedly and Marlene threw a pillow at her face.

"Okay Lily. Only one way to settle this." Alice reached under her bed to reveal a wicker basket with a lid that closed and locked. It was covered in fabric embroidered with little daisies – incidentally, it looked almost identical the sewing box Lily's mother had at home. Alice pointed her wand at the lock and uttered "The future is known only to those who dwell on it." The lock snapped open and fell to the ground. Lily watched as Alice opened the box and removed a stack of papers, which she knew contained the girls' many bets.

At this point, Mary grabbed an empty sheet of paper and enchanted a quill to transcribe. "When will James and Candice break up?" Mary asked the quill to write.

"Put me down for next month," Marlene eagerly supplied.

"I'm taking the summer," Alice said with a big smile.

"No fair," Mary objected. "I was going to take the summer!" There was a mild kerfuffle as Mary had to convince Alice to take the first half of the summer – and then convince the quill to scratch out the argument it had dutifully copied down.

Everyone turned to Lily. "Is 'never' an option?"

"I suppose," Marlene informed her. "But it will be a little hard to convince us to ever pay up."

"Fine," Lily groaned. "They can get divorced in 5-10 years."

"Why are you so negative?" Alice asked with a laugh.

"Is it being negative?" she asked rhetorically. "It's not like them breaking things off is even going to help my situation much. The guy wants nothing to do with me."

"Okay," Mary said, having sealed away their bets. "Time for some serious talk." She came and joined Lily on her bed. "Are you sure you still fancy this bloke?"

Lily sighed. Then she nodded.

"Why?" Alice asked delicately.

"Alice," Marlene chastised. "You can't choose who you like."

"Okay, yes, I know. But, with everything that's been going on, haven't you thought that maybe life would be easier if you didn't?"

"Ofcourse I have," Lily agreed emphatically. "And I've tried to stop fancying him. I've even come so close to hating him recently... But then it just makes me realize how bad I've got it for him." She was going to stop talking, but then she saw that all three girls were watching her with rapt attention. "You really want me to keep rambling?"

She was met with nothing but nods.

Lily took a deep breath. "If anyone else were this much of a prat, I wouldn't even care. I'd just stop spending time with them and that would be that. But with James... he gets me so upset and bothered. And then I try to double down and really hate him and I just can't do it. Because the more I try to hate him, the more I realize that I don't hate anything about him. And the more I ignore him, the more I miss him."

"What do you miss?" Mary inquired.

"Oh, the usual things," Lily replied, feeling self-conscious. "He's gorgeous and funny, of course. And he's so confident and charismatic and charming." She was sure she was blushing. "But beneath that all he's so caring. He went out of the way to take me into his friend group when he knew that I was all alone. Usually he makes such an effort to include me in the conversation and bring me up to speed on all his inside jokes. He'll help me any time day or night with anything I could possibly need. Not only does he not mind that I'm muggleborn, I don't think he even remembers half the time – unless he's hexing Slytherins who are antagonizing me, of course. And beyond the muggleborn thing, he doesn't seem to mind anything about me at all. Like how weird and shy and awkward I am.

"And yes, there is the small matter of Candice and how annoying he became when he got a girlfriend. But I can't actually blame the guy for getting a girlfriend, now can I? And I can't even blame him for trying to be inclusive of her and her interests, just like he was with me... and watching the two of them together is just a constant, daily reminder of everything that I want from him. They're so sweet and adorable and perfect. It's like they even just fit together perfectly. And even the nauseating things they do like make out at the breakfast table together or fly around the pitch together after a game are beautiful, in a way, because it shows that he's not afraid to broadcast how much he loves her to the rest of the school. So he's not even being that much of prat and I don't even want them to break up... I just want... to be her, I guess – to be the one in his arms and on his broom.

"And I also think there's something to be said for the fact that even though he has a prissy girlfriend and even though he's been a total arse after I came through for him, there's absolutely nothing – and I mean no offence by this, by the way – but nothing I'd rather be doing right now than hanging out with him. I'd enjoy getting married and moving to a secluded corner of the world and living forever just the two of us... but I'd settle for seeing him at meals and having him tease me. And occasionally help me with my Transfiguration homework or save me from a Slytherin. And call me Pigeon. And if that's all I ever got, it would still be a heck of a lot better than what I have right now.

"So that's... you know, that's how I know I still fancy him." Lily caught her breath a little wondering if she should be embarrassed. Maybe that was too romantic... but then again, maybe it wasn't romantic enough. Because, then again, she was head-over-heels for him and she didn't think that was completely irrational.

"And that," Marlene replied. "Is how I know I'm correct in putting my money on the two of you."