Author's Note: Sincerest thank-yous to everyone who has supported me so far. I honestly can't tell you how much it means to me. This little story passed so many milestones recently: it now has more views than my other Jily stories, it reached over 50 reviews (and then over 60 reviews!), and with this chapter being posted, it will have over 100,000 words. I know these are small milestones in the grand scheme of stories on FFN (many of which are equivalent in size and caliber to entire series of books), but I never imagined I would make it this far. It's all because of you and I appreciate it beyond belief.
I hope you all enjoy this chapter! It finally brings Lily to the end of her very tumultuous year. Can't wait to catch you guys next time :)
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"Evans," Lily heard Sirius call down the hallway as she emerged from her History of Magic final.
"Why are you bothering me after my exam?" Lily asked wearily. "I have another one in sixteen hours, you know."
"Er," Sirius paused. "I wanted to ask you how it went."
"No you didn't," Lily told him flatly. She started walking toward the library.
"Sure I did," he insisted. "I know you were worried about this one."
"Oh, is that so?" she asked faintly. "What subject was it, then?"
"Transfigur..." he started, but quickly aborted when he saw the look on her face. "Doesn't matter," he said instead. "You're worried about all of them." Lily shot him a judgemental look. "Okay, fine. What did you do to Prongs?"
"Nothing," she said simply.
"That's not true. You seem to have broken him."
"Hmm, you usually say that about me," she said as though the conversation was only minimally interesting.
"So, you're really going to pretend not to care?" he asked. Lily could see the entrance to the library up ahead.
"I'm not pretending," she lied. "I really don't care."
"Oh? And why's that?" he prompted.
Lily reached the entrance and stopped walking. "He's a prat," she said defiantly. "I hate him." It was obviously false, but Lily was very tired and wanted to get to work studying for her next exam; she was trying to send a clear message that she wasn't in the mood for conversation.
"Nah," Sirius said, shaking his head in a patronizing fashion. "You don't."
"Oh, that's right," she said lightly. "Thanks for enlightening me," she told him as she turned to enter the library. Not to be deterred, Sirius followed.
"The last time he was with Candice—" he was cut off by dozens of stressed students shushing him in unison. "They barely said two words to each other," he finished, switching to a whisper. "He just sat there like a zombie."
"Oh? And what were you doing during all of that?" Lily whispered back as she retrieved the reference book she was after.
"I sat there staring at them, making things nice and awkward."
Lily snorted. Then she ducked her head to avoid several passive-aggressive glares. "Some friend you are," she remarked after a moment. She set off to find a desk, Sirius trailing behind her.
"I am," he whispered. "To you."
"Hmm, well if they ever break up, you can come tell me that. Until then, I don't really need these updates." She opened her book to show that she was ready to get to work studying. After a few moments of forcing her eyes to stay on the page, she sighed and looked up. "You know, I come to the library to study to avoid distractions," she said pointedly.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what you said – or did – to Prongs." He waggled his eyebrows in her direction.
Lily gave up. "I suggested to him that he doesn't treat me like a real friend," she told him truthfully.
Sirius mulled this over. "That doesn't seem like much," he observed after a second.
"Well, I suppose I may have said it with a tad more drama," she admitted. "But that's more or less it."
"And what did he do to provoke this?"
"Who? James 'You're Not My Girlfriend' Potter?" She gave him a fake smile.
Sirius frowned, clearly understanding hear meaning. "There must have been more context," he said after a minute. That wouldn't be hard, Lily granted internally. Considering I gave you none.
Lily closed her book and propped it up so that she could point at the cover and demonstrate that she was only interested in discussing Defence Against the Dark Arts. Sirius sighed and left her in peace. She would get through the remainder of the semester by sheer force if she had to.
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Lily sighed as she rubbed her itchy and exhausted eyes. She was trying very hard to study Ancient Runes, but she found her patience was wearing thin. Lily was most of the way through an extremely long week of exams and she just had one to go. Unfortunately, the rest of the fourth-years in Gryffindor – none of whom took Ancient Runes – were already finished their finals and were taking the opportunity to celebrate very loudly in the common room. Although Lily wasn't tempted to go downstairs and join them, she was envious of their freedom. In particular, Lily wanted to have freedom of her own that she could exercise by going to bed.
Lily walked over to her turntable and put on a Pink Floyd album. She was hoping it would drown out the sound of her classmates and also provide her with some much-needed motivation. Admittedly, Lily had sailed through all of her exams so far and she suspected Ancient Runes would be no different. She just wasn't sure enough that she was willing to give up on an entire night of studying just for the sake of sleep.
Just as she was starting to get back into the groove of studying, she heard a knock on her window. She could see someone on a broom was hovering just beyond. With a groan, Lily forced herself on to her feet (complaining all the while about her sore back), and headed over to unlock her window. Then she just about jumped out of her skin when the figure who came through wasn't at all who she was expecting. "James?" Lily questioned, shocked. "I thought you were Sirius." She realized with a strange pang that she was actually disappointed it wasn't.
"Does he come here that often?" James asked.
"Fairly regularly," Lily said, staring him down. It hadn't escaped her notice that he had yet to explain why he was here.
"Huh," he replied simply, looking around. He sat down on Alice's bed and started tossing his broom from hand to hand. Lily's second-year self was having a field day, repeatedly screaming James Potter is in your room! It wasn't particularly helpful. "What are we listening to?" James asked. Lily sat back down on her bed so she could face him.
"Pink Floyd," Lily said simply. She knew that would create more questions than it would answer, but she didn't want to give him any kind of signal that she was feeling any better about their conversation from the weekend. She did idly wonder about what he thought of her music – they had only made it to the second track (Breathe (In the Air)) and she secretly hoped the album would blow his mind, just as it had for her. But that would have to wait.
"Right." James took a big breath. "Do you want to talk?"
"About what?" She wasn't letting him get away with anything.
"About Saturday night," James told her.
"Ah," Lily exclaimed sarcastically, as though it were a surprise. She thought for a moment about how to field this. Did she want to make things better? Yes. Was she sorry for anything she said? No. Was she stubborn? Yes. Did she want to study and then go to bed? Also yes. "I think I said everything there was to say already," she told him at last.
"Yes, but I didn't," James replied. "And there are a few other things I'd like to say."
Lily held up her Ancient Runes textbook. "I have an exam tomorrow, James. Maybe you should have picked a different time."
"Are you honestly going to tell me you're not prepared for your exam?"
"Of course not," Lily told him. "I've been studying for weeks straight. But I have one night left to study and I'd never forgive myself if the exam was really difficult and I'd wasted this precious time."
"I actually picked tonight on purpose," James told her.
"Just to interfere with my studying?" Lily questioned, annoyed.
"Because I knew your friends would be celebrating and that you'd be alone – probably – and that we could have some privacy."
"Was that supposed to be flattering?" Lily asked flippantly. "If so, you failed."
James sighed. "Lily, you were right."
That gave her pause. "About what?" she asked, suspicious that he was laying a trap.
He sighed again, and then his hazel eyes made contact with hers. "That I say you're my friend, but I haven't always treated you as one."
Lily no longer knew what her position was in this conversation. She had been expecting James to be his usual self (a git) and she had convinced herself that she wasn't going to let him off the hook. Now that he was agreeing with her, she wasn't sure what to do. "Go on," she said, having yet to make up her mind.
"What more do you want?" James asked. "I already said you were right."
"Well you could say it again," she suggested casually as she threw her eyes to the corner.
James laughed at her response. "You were right!" he exclaimed in a friendly tone of voice. Then he came and joined Lily on her bed. Lily angled her body away from him, aware that with one glance, she would likely be done for. "You were completely right, Lily," he said again. "I've been a rubbish friend. And if you didn't call me out on it, I would have continued to be a rubbish friend." He reached out and grabbed her hand as he said it. She was indeed done for.
Turning back to look at him, she felt all of her old love and hurt resurface at the same time. "So, what now?" she asked him softly.
"Now I try and make it up to you," he said, just as softly. In a parallel universe, where Candice didn't exist (and maybe where Lily was a year older), she could almost imagine them kissing. She tried very hard not to imagine it. "Can I steal you away from Ancient Runes, even just for a half hour?" he asked her.
Lily wiggled around as she toyed with her response. "It can't be another night?" she checked.
"Tonight's best," James told her. "If you're asking for advice," he teased, "I think you should come."
Lily rolled her eyes. "Alright" she agreed, tossing her textbook aside. "Sounds like we're going somewhere?" she asked. James nodded. "Where to?"
"Outside," he answered, standing up.
Lily stayed put and stared up at him. "That didn't exactly end well for you last time, you know." The nice upside of her hallway freak-out is that she no longer viewed James' near-death experience as a taboo subject.
"There won't be any alcohol this time," James assured her. "Or swimming. Or, more generally, anything you openly warn me not to do." Lily couldn't help but smile. "Can I give you a ride down?" he asked, holding up his broom.
"No," Lily answered at once. She was surprised he had even asked, but, for a myriad of reasons, she wasn't interested.
"We did once before," he reminded her. Lily didn't need reminding.
"That was different," she replied firmly. You didn't have a girlfriend then.
"Okay, okay. We'll have to go through the castle, then."
Lily gave him a dubious look. "You know, with one week left of school, I don't really fancy getting detention."
"When have I ever landed you in detention?" he asked with a smile.
"Admittedly, never," she granted. "But I already have an exam to worry about. I don't need the added stress of being caught after hours."
James considered this for a moment. "Alright," he said after a few seconds. "You want to know all my secrets. We can start here." He pulled her up to her feet and out of her dorm. Of course, as soon as James set foot on the girls' staircase, it turned into a slide the pair of them tumbled into the common room. All of the fourth-years immediately began laughing.
"Thanks for that," Lily muttered bitterly as she stood up and dusted herself off.
"Lily!" Alice called excitedly. Her cheeks looked very rosy and Lily guessed she was a bit tipsy.
"She's not staying!" James called in Alice's direction. He began pulling her up the staircase to the boys' dorms. Lily could only imagine what her friends were wondering at this sight.
When Lily entered the boys' dorm, she was treated to cheers all around.
"Did you and Prongs make up then?" Sirius called. Lily smiled, unable to keep herself from getting carried away.
"I think we're working on it," she answered.
"I'm trying my best," James replied. "She's making it difficult for me."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Sirius replied, beaming. "You've been a huge arse."
James had already placed his broom by his bed and began riffling through his chest. "Yes, yes, I'm actively trying to rectify that," as if Sirius' comments were only mildly bothersome. "Have any of you seen my cloak?" he asked the room.
There were a few beats of silence. "Your cloak?" Remus clarified.
"Yeah," James said lightly as he kept looking.
"Er, which cloak would that be?" Peter asked hesitantly.
"The cloak," James answered impatiently. "The best one. Actually, the only notable cloak any of us own."
"And, does Lily know about this cloak?" Peter asked again.
"There's a lot of talk about cloaks," Lily pointed out.
"She will, obviously," James replied, ignoring her comments.
"Oh boy," Sirius said excitedly. "Moony, do you still have that camera? I want to see Lily's face."
"What's going on?" Lily asked slowly.
"Fair point," said Remus. "James, what is going on?"
"I want to take Lily outside. But she's worried about getting caught and getting detention," James answered.
"Ah, so she's going to use the cloak," Remus commented.
"You guys are so weird," Lily complained to no one in particular.
"Where is it?" James asked in frustration.
"Did you check under the bed?" Peter suggested.
"I – no." James crouched down and effortlessly retrieved an unusual cloak that was vaguely silver-coloured. "Alright, Lily," he said, finally addressing her. "This is how we've been running around the halls undetected for years and – mostly – avoiding detention."
"This is one of the ways!" Sirius objected immediately. "Don't make us sound like a one-trick pony. Plus we haven't all fit under there in years."
"Okay," Lily said slowly, mind whirring away. "So you clearly wear this. It must be charmed to avoid detection or something?" Without any further conversation, James wrapped the cloak around his shoulders and Lily watched them disappear from view completely so he resembled a disembodied head. She gave a small gasp but recovered quickly. "Ah, it's an invisibility cloak," she observed. "That explains a lot."
Sirius looked like he'd just been treated to the disappointment of the century. "I really thought she'd be more amazed," he said to other two boys.
"You know I brew a potion that functions somewhat similarly, right?" she asked him.
"I guess that's true," he admitted bitterly. Then he clearly had another idea. Hiding his mouth from view and changing the tone of his voice he called out, "show her the map!" He then made a big show of looking around as though there were any mystery in who had said it.
"I need some remaining mystery, mate," James complained.
"What map?" Lily asked, ignoring James' complaints. Sirius hopped off his bed, retrieved a large piece of parchment, and thrust it into Lily's hands. She slowly turned in every which way, but there wasn't so much as a single drop of ink on it. "And this is a map of what, exactly?" she asked the room. No one responded. "Your minds, now that exams are finished?" she joked. No one laughed.
"Do you ever wonder how we run into you so often?" Remus asked her with a smile he was struggling to contain. "Say, when you're alone, or out late, or in trouble?"
"Yes, constantly," Lily agreed. "This has something to do with it?" she asked, holding up the parchment.
James gave a sigh. "Alright, bring the map with you," he told her. "I'll show you later." He beckoned for her to come close. Lily took a few steps toward him, not sure what he wanted her to do. "Do you have pockets?" he asked. Lily shook her head (she was only in her school blouse and skirt) and, realizing what he was asking, held out the map. She watched eerily as a hand emerged from nothingness to retrieve it.
James chuckled. "If you want to fit under here, you're going to have to come a lot closer."
Lily blushed and inched further toward James' floating head. "This is so odd," she mumbled as she heard Sirius laughing. James opened the cloak so she could see his body again. Then he approached and draped the edges of the cloak around her shoulders. In so doing, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as well. Lily looked down at where her arm was and could see straight through to floor. "Unreal," she muttered to herself. James lifted the cloak up over their heads and let it fall to the ground so that they were completely covered. Then the two of them left the room as the other Marauders bid them a very loud adieu.
The experience of walking underneath the cloak was nearly too much for Lily. In order to move without their feet showing, James had to practically give her a bear hug. For Lily, this also meant that she was completely engulfed in a smell that she could only describe as James. Nothing had ever smelled so heavenly in her life. At this point, it was taking all of her energy just to keep it together and not trip. "Want to eaves-drop?" James whispered in her ear as they approached the group of celebrating fourth-years. Lily shook her head and tried to keep the pair of them shuffling toward the exit. The possibility that they were still gossiping about James and Lily dashing off to the boys' dorm after weeks of fighting was very real. "Fine," James sighed. "You're more honest than I am," he whispered. Feeling his breath on her ear seemed to send electricity throughout all of her limbs. When they approached the entrance to the common room, James had to pick her up by slipping his hand under both her armpits and across her chest. Lily was stunned at how effortless it was – and what his hands were very close to.
Once they were in the hallway and the threat of being seen dissipated, they both added some distance, accepting that any passerby would be treated to a view of four disembodied feet. Lily took a few breaths, trying her best to act unimpressed. "Well, that was cozy," she said in a hushed voice. Understatement of the year. "Who's usually under there with you? Sirius?" she joked with a smile.
"You're terrible," he scolded. "We don't use the cloak that often these days because we have the map – you'll understand later." Lily didn't say anything to this. "But boy our first few years here would have been boring without this."
"That seems like a long time for an invisibility charm to last," Lily observed.
"Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't really explain anything," James said with a chuckle. "This is sort of a family heirloom. It's been in my family for a long time and it never fades or anything."
"Wow," lily said in admiration as she ran part of the fabric through her fingers. "I wish I had cool objects passed through generations in my family," she told him.
"There's nothing?" he asked.
Lily laughed. "We're not really that sort of family. Or, er, I guess I should say we don't have the means. Unless you count the family tradition of floral names," Lily joked quickly in an effort to turn the conversation away from finances.
James chuckled. "What's your mum's name?" he asked.
"Sunflower," Lily said softly.
"What?" James asked, much more loudly. Then he caught himself. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't—"
"I'm just joking," Lily assured him. "Her name's Iris."
"That's, er, more name-like," he said with a small chuckle.
"Indeed," Lily agreed with a smile.
"Any other flower names?" James asked as he led her into a secret passageway.
"My dad's name is Rose," Lily told him.
"You're joking again," he said, though he didn't sound particularly confident.
"I am, yes," she admitted. "But my grandmother's name was Rose." The passageway was cold, dark, and wet, and Lily got the distinct impression that critters were running away at the sound of approaching footsteps. "Should I cast some light, or would I prefer not to know?" she asked James.
"Best not to know," he told her. Lily wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but she was happy she had James' arm around her all the same. She filed this passage away in her walks-to-not-take-alone folder. "What's your middle name?" James asked as they exited the passageway. Lily could tell they were close to the Black Lake.
Lily opened her mouth to tell him; then she closed it. "What's yours?" she asked instead.
James smiled. "I'm not telling," he told her sternly.
"I thought you wanted me to forgive you," she teased.
"Oh, I do," he told her as he took the cloak off of both of them. "And that's why you'll never know my middle name," he joked.
"Then I'm not telling either," she said with a laugh. Lily paused for a moment to take in her surroundings. It had been raining all day and stopped a few hours prior. The moist air and cool evening had produced a fairly thick fog that was slowly and poetically rolling over the Black Lake. Lily instinctively tied her hair back, knowing the frizz would soon be uncontainable. Turning back to James, she realized she could barely see him and took out her wand for some light. "You know I still haven't forgiven you, right?" she asked him, trying to maintain some of her earlier pluck. "You're just getting some temporary good-will because you stroked my ego and told me I was right."
"I know," James said softly. "Do you want to sit?" he asked.
Lily shook her head. "I'm sure the grass is wet," she told him, looking at all the fog. James reached into his pocket and retrieved his Gryffindor tie – the same Gryffindor tie he had used to blindfold her in the same spot just months prior, Lily reminded herself. With a quick swish of his wand, he transformed the tie into a large red and gold blanket, which he spread out on the ground. He sat down and Lily joined him. "Nothing like a classic make-up, midnight, moonlit picnic," Lily said. She looked up to the sky and could faintly make out the full moon behind all of the fog.
"Alright Lily," James said. She was disappointed he hadn't commented on her alliteration. "You wanted to know about our names?" James asked her.
"Sure, among other things," she answered.
"Expecto Patronum," James said confidently, and she watched him conjure a Patronus that slowly took the shape of a deer. It cantered about effortlessly and then paused to paw the ground.
"Nice," Lily told him. She wasn't really sure what she was supposed to say. Lily had never managed to conjure a corporeal Patronus herself, so she was duly impressed. That said, it also struck her that whatever point he was trying to make, he was going about in a very self-absorbed kind of way.
"Prongs,' James said simply, pointing to his Patronus.
"Prongs like antlers?" Lily clarified. James nodded. "That's what you didn't want to tell me?" she asked, extremely irritated. "I couldn't be trusted with the extremely sensitive information that you have a Patronus and that it's a deer?" Lily asked rhetorically. She was quite irked.
"It's a stag," James corrected.
"What bloody difference does that make?" she snapped. "It's not even a particularly rare or embarrassing animal."
"Alright, alright," James asked defensively. He allowed his Patronus to slowly fade out. "Pretend you're not discovering this over the course of two seconds and that you've been able to sit with this information for months. Because it's all connected," he told her.
"What on earth are you getting at?" Lily asked, exasperated.
"Pretend I wasn't a prat and you just learned this the normal way. What else would you wonder about?"
Lily sighed, still frustrated. "I guess what the others Patronuses are."
"Okay," he said encouragingly.
"So, 'Padfoot'... could be just about anything," she said, exasperated. "'Wormtail'... I don't know, a rat? Or a possum? Or a lizard?" She paused to shake her head in James' direction. "And 'Moony'... I have no idea," she finished as she raised her hands and let them fall back to her lap. "These are stupidly vague names. And if you weren't staring at me I'd just go ask them. I still fail to see how this is at all a secret."
"Alright," James said slowly. "Well, if you asked them... Sirius would tell you his was a dog."
"Okay," Lily said with a shrug.
"Peter would tell you his was a rat."
"Sweet!" Lily exclaimed. "Good for me."
"And Remus would tell you his is incorporeal."
"Oh," Lily said, pausing. "Alright. So 'Moony' because... his vague Patronus kind of looks like a full moon?" she guessed lamely, looking up at the night sky. She could see a resemblance. James didn't say anything. "You know, it seems kind of mean to constantly remind him of that," she observed with a frown.
"Exactly," James agreed. "We wouldn't." He was smiling at her in an unsettling way.
"So... his name has nothing to do with his Patronus?"
"Not exactly."
"Then what are you getting on about?" she asked, her exasperation returning.
"You're so close," he said with that same unnerving smile.
"No, I'm not," she denied. "I'm not as clever as you think I am."
"Sure you are," James replied. "Just think. What were the other things you complained about?"
"Err," Lily mumbled, thinking back to the night of the Slug Club. "Secrets. Pacts. Names. Boys' nights."
"How often do we have boys' nights?" James prompted.
"I don't know, every few weeks?" she guessed. Lily had no idea what James was thinking this would lead to, but she was pretty sure there was zero chance of her having a sudden stroke of genius.
"Every month," James corrected.
Lily was getting increasingly annoyed with these minor corrections. "Bully for—" she started, but stopped before she could add 'you.' As she had started speaking, she had rolled her eyes up and caught sight once again of the moon peeking out from behind the fog. She was briefly transported to first-year Astronomy as she realized that she was incorrect in thinking the moon was full – it was only nearly full. Her mind flashed to James, sitting in her dorm, telling her that they couldn't do this tomorrow. Then, almost too quickly to keep up, she started getting flashes of the Marauders the day after their 'boys' nights,' where they were always sporting bruises and scrapes. Moony. Once the idea took root, it was impossible to pretend it hadn't occurred to her. "You always go out on the full moon," she said delicately, still looking up. She could see James nod eagerly beside her. "Because of Remus," she practically whispered.
"I knew you'd figure it out," he said softly. Lily turned to look at him and they locked eyes. Can this really be? Lily implored with hers as she searched James' hazel eyes for the truth. Yes, they replied resoundingly. Did she finally understand? Was she more confused than ever?
Lily blinked. "I don't get it," she said, shaking her head. "What does this have to do with you? Why would you be going out every month too? Just an elaborate cover story?"
"No," James told her. His voice sounded strange. He stood up and Lily instinctively followed suit. He started walking toward a group of tall trees and Lily had to practically run beside him to keep up with his long strides. "I don't like doing this in the open," he said, presumably by way of explanation – though Lily was still exceedingly confused.
With that, James ducked behind the trees. Lily experienced mild déjà vu and was taken back to the night the boys swam in the lake. After giving James a few minutes of privacy (privacy for what?), she started inching towards the trees. She hadn't heard or seen anything since he disappeared, but as she approached, the leaves started rustling. Lily froze completely as a figure started to appear.
It was a massive, beautiful deer – the spitting image of James' Patronus. Which, she supposed, made it a stag.
Lily's first thought was that James had transformed into the stag, which would make him an underage (and presumably unregistered) Animagus. She quickly dismissed the idea as preposterous and became embarrassed that it had even occurred to her. He's probably fucking with you, she thought instead. He's great at Transfiguration – he could turn just about anything into a stag. She couldn't even begin to imagine why he would do such a thing, but that seemed more believable.
Once it struck her that this could very well be a wild deer, Lily quickly realized that she would prefer not to anger it. She tried desperately to look anywhere but the deer and started taking a few steps backwards. Much to her dismay, the deer started taking several, much bigger steps right in her direction. She stopped moving altogether, frantically wondering what she should do. Lily had her wand, of course, but she couldn't think of anything to cast that wouldn't inadvertently hurt the deer. You doubly don't want to hurt the deer if it's James, she thought. Then she cursed herself for returning to that notion and tried to pretend she hadn't just thought that.
The deer continued to stalk toward her and Lily practically held her breath in order to remain as still as possible. Maybe he'll think I'm a tree, she thought wishfully. Or a statue... with flaming red hair. Lily would have groaned if she weren't positively petrified at the prospect of getting rammed by this massive animal. On that note, she gripped her wand firmly, ready to petrify the deer if he didn't leave.
But then the deer did something entirely unexpected: it ducked its head and started nuzzling Lily's hand. Reflexively, she switched her wand over to her other hand and started scratching the top of his head – almost as though he were a dog. There was something so human about the way it interacted with her, she couldn't help but begin to suspect it was James again. Stop thinking that, her brain hissed. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it would be if you're wrong? Trying desperately to redirect her thoughts, Lily gave some pause to admire the animal before her. He was a beautiful specimen with a pristine coat, well-defined muscles, and perfectly symmetrical antlers. As someone who tended to avoid the outdoors and didn't even keep taking Care of Magical Creatures, Lily had little experience with wildlife. The idea that she was standing at the foot of the Black Lake, encircled in fog, with a glorious but docile stag was borderline unbelievable.
Finished receiving scratches, the deer slowly raised its head. He was so large that even on four legs, he was nearly as tall as Lily. It was at that point that Lily recognized an unmistakable set of hazel eyes. Her suspicions were confirmed when the deer seamlessly transformed back into her raven-haired friend.
But the fact that she had suspected it didn't make it any less shocking.
Lily felt tears escaping her eyes and she wasn't even sure what emotion had produced them. She quickly wiped them away. "Well that was a touch dramatic," she told him, trying to get a handle on her runaway emotions and adrenaline. She started walking back toward their picnic blanket.
"How did you want me to tell you?" he asked, clueless.
"With your words!" she exclaimed. James looked momentarily taken aback.
"Would you have believed me?" he asked.
"I—" Lily started, but stopped. She considered arguing that he could have demonstrated after telling her about it, but decided there were more important matters. "You're an unregistered Animagus?" she asked him.
"Guilty as charged," James said, beaming.
"You don't have to look that smug about it," she snapped. "That is against the law, you know."
"You don't approve?" he asked, faltering.
Lily sighed. "I never said that," she said more softly. "I'm impressed, I just..." she trailed off. Truthfully, she had no idea how she felt. "How long?"
"Well," James started, dragging a hand through his hair. "We've been transforming with him for almost two years now. But we started working on becoming Anigmagi as soon as we found out about Remus in second year."
Lily paused. She suddenly recalled the ill-advised date she had with Elroy in third year, when she ran into James at Tomes and Scrolls. He had been exploring the Human Transfiguration section, whereas she had been tearful because she wasn't enjoying her date. He was learning extremely sophisticated and dangerous magic to help his best friend; she had troubled him with tales of pre-teen schoolgirl drama. She hadn't felt so young – and so embarrassed – in quite some time.
She opened her mouth to speak, but ended up closing it without uttering a word. Lily wanted to lash out, to tell him that this was irresponsible and illegal, and that he shouldn't have kept it from her. But a slightly older and wiser part of her realized that this was just a front to hide her embarrassment. She decided to be a real Gryffindor and give her honest opinion. "I think that's really admirable," she told James, though she couldn't quite meet his eyes as she said it.
Lily could have sworn she actually saw James blush in response to this compliment. He brought his hand up and ruffled his hair again. "Er, thanks," he said awkwardly.
"So what, you guys transform with him every month and keep him company? Where do you even go? The forest? – Oh, you go to that weird place under the whomping willow, don't you?" she asked, thinking back to all the blindfolding.
James nodded. Then he chuckled. "About that," he said. "I forgot we didn't tell you this part. But that 'weird place' is the Shrieking Shack."
"Oh," Lily replied, drawing out the word. Everything was starting to click. This was beginning to feel like the second time in Lily's life that she had really had her eyes opened to the goings-on around her – the first, of course, being when she was accepted to Hogwarts. She had dozens of other questions, but she knew most of them could be answered in time. There was only one that was really burning: "Why didn't you tell me?"
James sighed and sat back down on their makeshift blanket. He signalled for Lily to join him and she obliged. "I'm sorry, Pidg," he said. Lily practically hexed him. She realized immediately that there was nothing he could possibly do wrong that wouldn't be completely fixed by the phrase 'I'm sorry Pidg.' He gave her a stupidly adorable expression to accompany it as well."It's just all so tied up. What we do is all kinds of illegal. And it's not just our secret. If word got out about Remus, it would ruin him."
"Hmm," Lily hummed. "So Remus was worried about telling me?" She hated the idea that she would seem untrustworthy, but on the other hand, she had never had a secret of that magnitude.
James sighed. "No."
"No?"
Another sigh. "I'd really love to lie right now." Lily gave him an inquisitive look. "Remus wanted to tell you last semester. I made them all swear not to."
Well, that hurts. "Why?" she asked simply.
"I shouldn't have," he replied. He looked very uncomfortable. That didn't really answer my question. "None of us have ever told anyone, Lily. My parents don't know. McGonagall sure as hell doesn't know. Candice doesn't even know. You're the only one not implicated by this secret who now knows." Lily didn't know what to say to this. "Because you're right," he carried on. "You are my friend and it's not fair to keep this from you."
OooooOooooOooooOooooO
The following night, an extremely tired Lily made her way to the Great Hall for supper. She had gotten hardly any sleep overnight, but had squeaked in a 1-hour nap following her Ancient Runes exam. She was experiencing a mild second-wind now that she was imbued with the excitement of final exams being finished. Mary, Marlene, and Alice waved her over and Lily went to join them.
"Are you really not going to tell us anything about last night?" Mary pried as Lily served herself some fish and vegetables (her least favourite Hogwarts supper).
"I told you everything," Lily objected. When she returned to the Gryffindor common room the previous night, she was greeted by all three of her roommates who were still awake and celebrating. They instantly demanded details, but Lily had felt obliged to stay fairly close-lipped about the whole affair.
"Oh sure," Marlene grumbled. "'Secrets were revealed.' 'Apologies were made.' It all sounds like a past-tense Divinations session to me."
Lily chuckled. "I can't divulge someone else's secrets without permission!" she insisted, not for the first time.
"Okay. But were they big secrets?" Alice asked, raising her eyebrows. Lily nodded. The girls exploded asking for more information, but details were not forthcoming.
"Okay, real question, though," Mary said after a time. "Are you going to forgive him?"
Lily stalled, pushing some of her broccoli around on her plate. "I don't know," she said at last.
"Well, whatever he told you," Alice said. "Does it explain why he's been such a pain lately?"
Lily frowned. "Not really," she admitted. "Or at all. At least, not directly."
"Explain," Marlene demanded.
"Well," she started, still ruminating. "I suppose it explains why he's kept me at arm's length in general. But not really why that would have been worse since I saved his life."
The girls thought this over for a few moments. "Maybe he felt like he owed you some sort of explanation but was indecisive about whether or not he could tell you?" Mary suggested. "It's kind of hard to speculate when we don't know the nature of these secrets..."
"That's possible," Lily granted, intentionally refusing to acknowledge her request for further information. "Maybe even probable," she added upon reflection.
"Evans," she heard over her shoulder.
"Hi Sirius," she replied without turning to look.
Two hands came down on her shoulders. "Are you finally finished exams?" he asked.
"Indeed. The rumours are true."
"So, you can't just flea to the library and tell me to bugger off anymore?"
"Don't get ahead of yourself," she cautioned. "I could always get a head start on summer school." This was greeted by unanimous groans.
"We want to talk to you," Sirius said, changing the subject. "Can you make your friends leave?"
"Oh that's nice," Alice huffed.
"We're halfway through our meal," Mary pointed out.
"Why don't you go sit with James?" Marlene asked, gesturing in his direction. Lily told herself she was going to keep her eyes on her plate. But then at the last second she caved and looked. She was treated to a view of James and Candice eating in silence with no eye contact or animation. There are worse things to see.
"Ehh," Sirius said dismissively. "He's a prat. We hate him." It wasn't too difficult to recognize her words being parroted back at her.
"Nah," Lily said, resigned to the truth of the matter. "We don't."
"Well that's an exciting development," Remus observed. "Why don't you come tell us all about it?"
Lily sighed. "Where?"
"Let's go to the kitchens," Peter suggested. "I hate fish anyway." The logic was hard to argue with.
The walk to the kitchens was more or less silent; everyone seemed to be in agreement that they would need a better venue for something of this importance. After they sat down and requested a large plate of sandwiches, the silence continued. Surprising even herself, Lily turned out to be the first to broach the subject. "Well it sure is a treat, getting to eat dinner with three completely-human teenaged boys," she joked. If you can't joke your way through life, you take yourself too seriously, she told herself encouragingly.
Unexpectedly, the response to this lame joke was cheers all around. "We weren't completely sure if he told you or not," Peter explained.
"He did more than tell me," Lily remarked.
Sirius laughed. "Of course he showed off. This is James we're talking about." Lily nodded in agreement. "So how are you feeling now?" he asked.
"Embarrassed," she answered truthfully. She could feel her cheeks grow warm.
"What?" asked seemingly three voices at once.
"I had no idea," Lily told them simply. She decided to keep the part about her constant complaining about trivial matters to herself.
"We worked very hard to keep it that way," Peter reminded her.
"Yeah, but," Lily started. She paused, fearing how silly she was about to sound. But three boys were looking at her, so she continued. "All these years I thought I was your friend... but I didn't know the half of what you were doing or how you lived your lives." It struck her in that moment how similar this conversation was playing out to the one she had had with her three female friends in the same location just weeks earlier.
"Lily," Remus said thoughtfully. "I think you need to stop worry about how 'in' or 'out' you are. Just because you didn't know all of our secrets doesn't mean you weren't a close friend." Lily hummed noncommittally. He probably had a point, but it didn't make her feel much better. "Besides," he continued. "I wanted to tell you all year."
"Me too," Peter agreed.
"Same here," Sirius added.
"So why was James so opposed to telling me?" Lily asked.
"I think he felt he owed it to me," Remus explained. "I told him I trusted you, but... he takes all of these secrets very seriously." Lily tossed her head from side to side as she weighed this sentiment. She supposed she could understand his actions better when she framed them in terms of loyalty to his friend.
"I think Candice had something to do with it too," Peter commented.
"What?" Lily asked, suddenly annoyed. "He said he never told her."
"She has no idea," Peter agreed, hastily backtracking. "What I mean is that James didn't want to tell Candice, but felt like if he told you, he'd have to tell both of you."
"Oh." She supposed that also made a certain degree of sense. Their platter of sandwiches arrived and they all grabbed one. "Alright, this is fine and all," Lily said between mouthfuls. "And I'm glad I know now. But what does this really have to do with the past few weeks?" she asked, thinking back on her earlier dinner-time conversation.
"We don't really know," Peter admitted. "He hasn't been talking to us much either."
"I have a guess," Remus interjected as he grabbed another sandwich.
"Go for it," Lily instructed.
"Well, the same reasons, really," he admitted. "But with more drama. After the Black Lake, it felt cruel not to tell you. It was even in the Shack and the amount we hid from you was pretty inexcusable."
"Okay," Lily agreed. It wasn't a contentious point, as far as she was concerned.
"Well, but he'd already kept it from you for so long. And he still had Candice. And we all started hounding him to tell you, but he's... proud. It's hard for him to admit he's wrong."
"Oh, poor him," Lily condescended.
"Okay, but he did admit it – to your face," Sirius pointed out. "That's huge. He never does that."
Lily sighed. "All those all your secrets?" she asked, looking from boy to boy. They all nodded. "I'm not going to find out one of you is a vampire? Or a Death Eater drinking polyjuice potion?"
Everyone shared a good laugh. "Did he show you the map? That's the only other secret," Peter told her.
"Oh, yeah," she said with a nod. "That's absolutely genius. But I'm more than a little horrified to learn that you've known my every move for several years."
Sirius laughed. "Only if we watch the thing all day like stalkers. And we outgrew that very quickly."
"Do you want us to amend the text?" Remus offered. "If we trust you with our secrets, you deserve a spot in the title."
Lily shook head instantly. "I had no role in making it. And I'm not an Animagus."
"What's your Patronus?" Sirius asked.
"Incorporeal," she admitted sadly. She'd have to work on that.
"Prongs calls her 'Pigeon'," Peter supplied.
"Because I remind him of a fictional cocker spaniel."
"Whatever," Sirius said dismissively. "We could call you... 'Feathers.'"
"That's absolutely terrible," she objected with a laugh. "And based on nothing."
"Alright, alright," he agreed. "Come find us when you have a Patronus."
"Or spend three years learning to become and Animagus," Remus suggested.
Lily wrinkled her nose. "That would be a long time even if I liked Transfiguration."
The group finished their sandwiches while discussing a whole range of other topics – and then they quickly parted way. After all, Lily knew they had far more exciting plans for the evening than she did.
OooooOooooOooooOooooO
Three days later, Lily was walking toward the Great Hall when she heard a male voice call her name. She turned to see Remus. "'Lo Remus," she greeted.
"Have you heard?" he asked frantically. He was mildly out of breath.
"No," she said suspiciously. "Do I want to?" These days, it was extremely likely to be depressing news about the state of affairs for muggleborns. Maybe she wasn't welcome to attend Hogwarts anymore?
"James and Candice," he said without further explanation.
She had a sneaking suspicion he was about to tell her that they broke up, but she didn't want to embarrass herself by guessing as much. "Are what?" she prompted. "Engaged? Pregnant?"
"No more," he said, beaming. It was like he was telling her she just won the lottery.
"For real?"
"Yep," he confirmed, still beaming.
"Since when?" Lily still wasn't believing her ears.
"Oh, we found out about, half an hour ago?"
"Why do I still not believe you?"
"Probably because I'm smiling and out of breath. It's giving me a just-escaped-an-asylum look."
Lily couldn't help but laugh. "So, what happened?"
"I'm not too sure, honestly. James described it as 'mutual,' but I don't know who initiated the conversation. All I know is they went out for a 'walk' together and came back broken up."
"And you don't know why?" Lily's entire body was buzzing with excitement.
"Oh, they were miserable. It was more of a mercy kill, really. They'd been looking dreadful for weeks."
"Hmm. Where is everyone else?" she asked. Something inside her was still doubting this information.
"Sirius suggested I go ahead and 'get us a spot at supper,' but he handed me the map. So he clearly wanted me to come find you. The others will be down in a few minutes, I suppose."
"And you're sure this is for real?" Lily asked again.
"Yes!" he exclaimed.
"How did he seem?" Lily asked innocently. She really just wanted to gage how long it would take him to get over Candice, but hoped that wasn't obvious.
Remus shrugged. "Relieved, more than anything." Lily nodded, trying to keep her face impartial. "Are you smiling because you're a good friend and you want him to be happy?"
"Of course. Why else would I be smiling?"
"Can't think of a single reason," he agreed.
"Moony! Evans!" The pair of them turned to see Sirius, James, and Peter walking in their direction. "Are you boring Evans again?" he asked once they were closer.
"She was boring me, actually," Remus replied easily. "Wouldn't stop going on about her Ancient Runes exam."
"Yes, that does sound like me," Lily deadpanned. She met eyes with Sirius who gave her a wink. There was a beat of awkward silence as everyone seemed reluctant to address the elephant in the room.
"Did you hear about James?" Peter asked.
"Er," Lily stammered. "No." Why on earth did I just say that?
"She's lying," Remus said, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "I told her already." Lily groaned internally. I guess on the bright side, they already think I'm off my rocker at baseline...
Sirius burst out laughing, but quickly recovered when he saw James' expression. "Well anyway," Sirius said with a cough. "We've already talked about it. And James just wants a distraction at this point. So, we're off to dinner. You coming?" he asked Lily.
"No," she said at once. If it were anything like this conversation, it would be the most awkward dinner of her life.
"Weren't you on your way to Great Hall?" Remus asked, eyes twinkling.
"Nope," she insisted. "I never said that."
"So where were you going?" Sirius asked.
"I was just on a walk," Lily answered.
"But it is time for supper," Peter pointed out.
"I already ate," she lied.
"When?" James asked, joining in. He was clearly amused. I'm here all week.
"Earlier," she told him uselessly.
"Earlier like lunch time?" Sirius suggested. "Because we all did that."
"Enough of this," Lily huffed. "I don't answer to you lot. Go... maraud," she instructed, waving them away like a group of stray dogs – which, she supposed, one of them really was. With that, she crossed her arms and marched away. She had a bag of candy upstairs with her name on it.
OooooOooooOooooOooooO
"Marlene," Lily called out frantically. The fourth-year Gryffindor girls were enmeshed in chaos as they attempted to pack up their frightfully-messy room. They needed to catch the train back to London and were due downstairs any minute.
"What is it Lils?" she called out in response from the washroom.
"You have one of those bags that's charmed so you can put lots of stuff in it, right?" Lily was normally more articulate, but she was currently quite flustered. The girls had stayed up late gossiping and giggling about the past year – and the recent developments with respect to James' love life – and as a result were exhausted and very rushed.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Er..." she trailed off. She didn't want to say it out loud.
"What is it, Lily?" Mary asked. She slammed the lid of her trunk down triumphantly to show that she was finished packing.
Lily sighed. "The Marauders gave me this broom," she said, holding it up. "But I never used it. Not even once. And I don't want to be seen carting it around because... I'll look like an imposter."
"That's not true," Mary said. "No one will even look at you that closely."
"Well they definitely won't if Marlene would lend me her bag..." Lily tried again.
Mary opened her mouth, then clearly had another idea. "Oh shit, my bag," she muttered frantically as she started looking around the room.
"If I lend you my bag right now, you're going to end up keeping it all summer long," Marlene pointed out.
Lily sighed again. "Then could one of you carry it? Just into the compartment, and then I'll take care of it."
"You're not sitting with us," Marlene said matter-of-factly.
"I—what?" Lily asked, dumbfounded. She thought the four of them had been getting along swimmingly as of late.
"We talked about it," Alice told her. "We think you should sit with the Marauders."
"You had a whole conversation about where I should sit on a train ride?" Lily clarified.
"Have you talked to James at all since he broke up with Candice?" Alice asked, ignoring Lily's comments.
"No," she admitted.
"Then can you imagine how awkward it will be for you next year?" Alice continued. "Better to just go sit with them now and get things over with."
"But that sounds horrible," Lily whined.
Marlene came into the main room. "Your toothbrush is still in there, Lils." Lily cursed under her breath and went to retrieve it. She knew at this rate she would invariably leave one – or several – objects behind. "Anyways, it's for the best," Marlene continued. "We'll deposit you in the Marauders' compartment. Right after you treat me to tons of candy, of course."
"And why would I do that?" Lily asked, returning to her bed.
"Lily, here." Mary said, handing her something. "I said you could keep this eyeliner. Also, you forgot a bunch of potions in the corner over there." Lily groaned and threw a 'thanks' over her shoulder as she went to collect her potions.
"Because," Marlene answered after she grabbed her own makeup from a high shelf. "I won the bet. I said James and Candice would break up in a month. And that was approximately a month ago. You can go check the bet box if you want. We leave it here over the summer."
"Oh," Lily said simply as she started wrapping her potions in old t-shirts. "But we all have to buy you something, right?"
"Nope, not in this case," Marlene said with a huge grin. "Mary and Alice were barely off because they said this summer. But you, if I recall correctly, said 5-10 years."
"So now I have to pick up the whole tab?"
"Yep! If one person is super-wrong, they're officially the one who's lost."
Lily pouted. "All of these rules seem to sprout up only when they're most advantageous to you lot."
"Sorry Lils," Marlene said, not at all perturbed. "This is for the best too. It will motivate you to make a more serious wager next time."
"Fine," Lily agreed melodramatically. Then she remembered she almost forgot her toad.
OooooOooooOooooOooooO
A few hours later, Lily – whose pockets were quite a bit lighter than when she boarded the train – discovered that the girls did indeed plan on ejecting Lily from their compartment. Alice was steering her down the hall looking in every window. "I promise to write you this summer," she said cheerily. "I have to admit, I'm a bit embarrassed about the fact that I never realized you didn't have access to an owl over the summer. We really can be quite thick sometimes, you know."
"Oh, don't worry about it," Lily said, mostly just to say something.
"No, I will worry about it!" Alice objected. "It was horrible of me. I'm going to write you every week – no, every day!"
"Oh, maybe don't do that," Lily cautioned with a chuckle. "The Evans family isn't big on owls."
"Oh. Should I not write at all?"
"No, please do," Lily implored. Two years ago, she would have shrugged and said, 'don't worry about it' or 'it's no big deal.' She was proud of herself at this juncture for actually asking for what she wanted.
"Okay," Alice agreed with a laugh. "So, every week it is?"
"That seems fair," Lily agreed with a smile.
"Oh, here we are!" Alice exclaimed. "They would have the furthest bloody compartment from where we were sitting." Alice slid the door open. "I think you forgot your fifth Marauder," she said with a smile as she pushed Lily inside.
"Evans!" Sirius cried in excitement. He jumped up from his seat, abandoning his game of exploding snap. "You've missed out on all the excitement the past few days," he said with a wink as he started helping her with her trunk.
"Oh, no," James said suddenly. "No, no, no, no." Lily had no idea what he was going on about.
"That wasn't quitethe greeting I was hoping for," she joked.
"No, no, no," he continued, throwing hands over his face.
"Are you quite alright?" Remus asked.
James shook his head.
"What's going on, mate?" Peter asked.
James sat up and pointed right at Lily. She felt strangely like she was being accused in a courtroom. "Lily's broom!" he exclaimed. "We're the worst friends in the history of Hogwarts. We blew all her money on a gift she can't even use. And then we promised we'd teach her but we didn't. No wonder she hates all of us!" he wailed.
"What's all this 'we' business?" Sirius asked. "I seem to recall the whole idea being yours start to finish."
"Okay fine. I'm the worst friend in the world. Is that better?"
"Yeah," Sirius agreed with a shrug.
"It's no big deal," Lily practically squeaked. Okay, maybe you haven't totally outgrown your second-year self.
"It's a huge deal!" James objected. "If I were you, I would never trust me ever again. In fact, I'm not even sure why you'd grace us with your presence today."
"It's really fine," she said hastily. She was sure she was the colour of a tomato.
"I'm surprised you didn't just incinerate it, honestly. It's a totally useless object. Really just a liability in its current state."
"It's not useless," Lily objected. She wasn't really sure why she had said that; after all, he was right. Four heads turned to look at her. "I'm going to a muggle home," she said after a moment. "Maybe I'll..." she started sniggering, acknowledging the absurdity of what she was about to say. "Sweep... the... floor," she finished in between giggles. The whole group quickly devolved into a bout of uproarious laughter.
"Lily," James said, once they had all calmed down. He stared at her from the other side of the compartment. She looked up to meet his eyes, just as she had a few nights prior. "I promise that I will teach you how to fly. I will make it my life's mission. I will force Dumbledore to hold me back next year so I can't graduate if I haven't taught you." Lily chuckled appropriately.
"Why would she trust you, mate?" Sirius asked from the corner. "Your word's shit now."
"You're right," James agreed. "Recognizing, that my word is worth nothing, will you except my solemn promise?"
"Don't do it Lily!" Peter teased.
"It's really not a big deal," Lily repeated. "I didn't have a burning desire to learn."
"Because you don't know what you're missing," James said sadly, shaking his head back and forth. "What can I do to restore your belief in me?"
"I think she needs an unbreakable vow," Remus said dully.
"That's brilliant!" James exclaimed. He reached over and grabbed her hand. Lily tried very hard to act as though this were an everyday occurrence. "Pads, come help us." Sirius brandished his wand.
"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.
"An unbreakable vow," James told her.
'Which is...?" Lily asked slowly. It never ceased to surprise her that, no matter how much she learned in school, there were a million facets of magical life that remained a complete mystery.
"You've never heard of an unbreakable vow?" Remus asked. Lily shook her head. "Basically, you promise something with a specific spell. And then if you break your promise, you die."
"What?" Lily yelped, pulling her hand away sharply. "Are you insane?" she asked, looking from James to Sirius.
"I'm not going to die, if that's why you're so worried," James said cavalierly.
"Of course that's what I'm worried about."
"It's a trivial activity, Pidg. I just have to set out time to teach you the basics of my favourite pastime. And, knowing that failing to do so was punishable by death... it would certainly actually happen this time." He continued to look as though this were a reasonable idea.
"You're completely mental," she accused. "What if I'm unteachable? What if I am fundamentally incapable of flying?"
"No one's incapable of flying."
"Are you sure about that? Sure enough to risk death?" James shrugged. "Is this even a real thing or are you all just teasing me as a group?" she asked suspiciously.
"Only one way to find out," Sirius taunted, spinning his wand between his thumb and index finger.
"Remind me again why I'm here?" Lily asked wryly.
"Because you love us," Sirius answered. "Or, at least some of us. Certain members, I should say."
Lily scowled and tried to keep the conversation moving in the hopes that no one would really appraise that last comment. "Mary, Marlene, and Alice don't... well they tease me less, yeah?"
"And what a miserable existence that must be," James replied, shaking his head back and forth.
"Speaking of teasing," Sirius cut in. He handed Lily what she now recognized to be the Marauder's map. Lily stared at him blankly. "Open it," he instructed.
"What's the phrase again?" Lily asked, looking to James. Remus and Peter started booing at her lack of knowledge. James leaned over and whispered the words in her ear. Her breath hitched and the sensation sent shivers down her spine. She kept her eyes down to avoid seeing the other boys and was able to see that her arms were covered in goosebumps. Lily coughed to clear her throat. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," she told the map.
"It doesn't sound right coming out of her mouth," she heard Remus mutter to Peter.
Quite quickly, the text she had seen once before began to appear. Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs – and Lily – are proud to present the Marauder's Map. She gave a small half-laugh and the recent addition. Then another line of text appeared under the first: The Marauders congratulate Lily on forcing them to expose their deepest and darkest secrets – though they also note that this obligates her to participate more actively in future pranks and other such mischief. Lily smiled.
"'And Lily?'" she asked judgmentally. "That doesn't make me feel like an afterthought at all."
"We had a long debate about potential nicknames," Sirius explained.
"But each was more terrible than the last," James concurred.
"What were the contenders?" Lily asked, still smiling.
"Well, I tried 'Feathers' again, but people weren't going for it," Sirius commented.
"For good reason," Lily agreed.
"I suggested 'Petal,'" said Peter. Then the nicknames really started pouring in.
"Blossom."
"Rosebud."
"Lion's Hair."
"Ginger Snap."
"Emerald Eyes."
"Doe-eyes."
"Love Potion."
"Bone-Setter."
"Unnamed Witch."
"Okay," Lily cried with a big laugh. "I'm getting the picture. I can see why 'and Lily' was the best option."
"Whenever you get a corporeal Patronus, we can get you a better name," Remus assured her.
"Yeah, can you work on that this summer?" Sirius asked.
"Er, no." Lily wasn't sure if he was joking. She received four blank looks. "I can't use magic over the summer," she reminded them slowly. Recognition filled their faces. "Oh, come now," she chastised. "You haven't been 17 for that long."
"True," James agreed. "But that rule never really impacted us before."
Lily sighed heavily. "This whole system is rigged," she complained.
"But that doesn't stop you from coming first in half your classes," Remus observed. She gave him a smile and turned to look at the window at the retreating countryside. The girls were right – it was much better to hang out with the Marauders before disappearing for the summer. Despite the intervening embarrassment, it was just as pleasant and effortless as the ride to Hogwarts had been ten months ago. And even though Lily was simultaneously worried about how the boys would all be graduating soon, she couldn't help but wonder: what nonsense will we get up to next year?
