Author's Note: Hey, look at this! An update! (better late than never... or so I hope.) I've said it before and I'll say it again, but my readers are beyond amazing. All these thoughtful reviews and tumblr messages! They make my heart positively sing. Quite honestly the best part of my day. You are all such wonderful human beings...

It appears the consensus from last chapter (aside from people thoroughly enjoying James' jealousy) was that you guys didn't agree Lily's decision not to report getting tortured. I think all I can say in her defence is that, for Lily, her family is everything – and someone had just threatened them moments prior (but that's also not the same thing as saying it was the right decision...). I think/hope more of this comes through in the following chapter.

Oh, and – there's small shout-out to workcited and the review you left of chapter 7 in here :)

I hope you all enjoy!

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Lily woke up annoyingly early, buzzing with energy. I thought I was over this habit, she thought grouchily. She rolled over and re-settled, determined to fall back asleep. After a few minutes, it was becoming painfully obvious that sleep simply wasn't in the cards. With a sharp, exasperated exhale, she popped upright. She grabbed her watch (a present from her parents) to check the time, but it didn't make any sense. After staring at it for several minutes, she concluded that it had stopped overnight and would need a new battery. She smacked it down on her bedside table a little too forcefully and she heard Mary stir. Keep it together, Evans. Needing a distraction, she got out of bed, went over to her cauldron and started prepping a wideye potion – given the time of the semester, she was sure someone would benefit from it. This did the trick and Lily soon became occupied in her craft. However, she was brought back to the real world when she heard the girls getting up.

"Oh Lily," Marlene sighed as she rubbed her eyes. "Only you would wake us up to the smell of boiling snake fangs. You're lucky we can't get mad at you today."

"Oh, that's right!" Mary cried, clearly having forgotten. She went to join Lily on the floor and opened her mouth.

"Don't say it," Lily warned.

Mary closed her mouth. "Don't say what?" she asked instead, feigning ignorance. That I'm fifteen today.

"Lils, we have to celebrate happy moments when they come by," Alice said over her shoulder as she started to get dressed. Lily had kindly asked all of her friends, including the Marauders, to give her the gift of an underwhelming birthday. She had never been known to give particularly exciting presents herself, and she certainly didn't want to be showered with gifts in return, especially given how close the holidays were. Lily just wanted to float through the day like any other. There had been some resistance, but they had all eventually agreed.

Lily nodded slowly but kept her mouth shut. That's just how dad would put it. She turned away, hiding her face.

"Lily?" Mary questioned. She didn't respond. If she opened her mouth, she knew she would be done for. Mary reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. Lily turned to look at her and knew at once that she could see the tears threatening to leak out of her eyes. "Oh, Lily," Mary shushed. "What's wrong?" The other two girls came to sit next to her and Lily suddenly felt very embarrassed.

"It's nothing," she insisted, wiping her eyes. "I'm just being silly."

"Of course you're being silly," Marlene observed. "You're crying on your birthday." Lily smiled and let out a chuckle – but with it came several tears. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't tell us why."

"I just–" Lily almost couldn't bring herself to say it. "I just miss my family so much." With those seven stupid words, she devolved into out-and-out sobbing.

"Oh, Lily," Alice shushed, enveloping her into a hug. "That's not silly at all. We all get homesick." Lily nodded. She considered pointing out that this was clearly beyond her normal homesickness, but decided to just enjoy the hug.

"I missed my parents terribly on my birthday," Mary admitted. "And I'd only just seen them!" Lily nodded again and wiped her eyes. "But that's what friends are for," she comforted, reaching for Lily's hand. She was now starting to feel doubly embarrassed: first for breaking down, and now for all this undeserved love.

"And you'll see your parents so soon," Alice reminded her. "Christmas is right around the corner."

"I know," Lily agreed.

With some effort, Lily was eventually able to extricate herself from all the doting and attention. She convinced the girls that what she wanted more than anything was to get her potion to the brewing stage and that they should head down to breakfast without her. Once she was alone, a few more rogue tears escaped her eyes, but she was eventually able to keep them at bay. Lily sighed reluctantly once her potion was finished and she no longer had an excuse to hide in her room. She got her things ready with the speed of a sloth and inched her way down to the common room. For a brief moment, she considered swinging by the kitchens instead of the Great Hall, but she ultimately dismissed that as reckless. As she stepped out of the portrait hole, she was toying with the idea of just heading straight to Transfiguration, but she stopped dead in her tracks: Mary. "Have you been waiting here for me?" Lily asked, dumbfounded.

"Of course," she replied with a bright smile. "Do you think that we would let you walk down by yourself?"

"Er, yes," Lily admitted. She often made the mistake of assuming the girls were less protective than the Marauders; in truth, they were just better at being subtle.

Mary laughed. "Besides, I thought you might make a run for it and try to skip breakfast."

"I would never," Lily said in a way that signified she had been thinking of doing just that. The two of them started meandering downstairs. "I think I'm going to turn in early tonight," Lily said after a moment. "I woke up at the crack of dawn like a toddler, so I'm sure I'll be right exhausted come dinner."

"O...kay?" Mary asked, confused.

"It's just, I heard you whispering to Alice last night," Lily went on. "I know that Malik asked you to hang out with him."

"Oh, Lily, don't worry your sweet little head about that. I already told him no."

"Yes, but I'm just going to sleep anyways!" Lily exclaimed. "You might as well go spend time with your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Mary objected immediately, as Lily knew she would.

"Not yet, I know, I know," she agreed, hands up. From everything she'd heard and seen, Malik and Mary were a great fit for one another – she had no doubts that he would wear the label of 'boyfriend' any day now. "Anyways, the holidays are coming up soon. You should spend some time with him."

Mary nibbled her lower lip. "Are you sure?"

"A thousand per cent," Lily assured her emphatically. "Even if I don't pass out, I can just hang out with the others. I want you to go see your beau."

Mary gave Lily a big hug. "Are you looking forward to the holidays?" she asked conversationally as they approached the Great Hall.

"Yeah, of course."

Mary shot her a sideways glance. "You're being weird."

"What?" Lily cried. "I'm not being weird," she denied.

"Yes, you are. Why are you being so weird?"

"I... don't know?"

Mary stopped walking. "Lils..." Lily stopped walking as well and stared at her friend, waiting for her inevitably accurate conclusion. "Are you going home for the break?" Lily didn't confirm, but she also didn't deny. "Oh, Lily," Mary sighed. "That's why you were so sad this morning."

"Please don't tell anyone, Mary," Lily requested. "It's for the best and it's not a big deal. And I really don't want a fuss made over me."

Mary paused. "You could–"

"Don't invite me to your place," Lily implored. "If I was going to endanger anyone's family, it would be my own." Mary paused, visibly dithering. "Hey," Lily said, grabbing her friend's hand. "It's fine. I just had a weird moment of weakness this morning because of weird birthday feelings. But I made this decision a month ago and I feel good about it. It's only two weeks." Mary sighed. "Come on, we're running out of time to eat," Lily told her, walking into the Great Hall.

Even if Mary had been intending to carry on the conversation, they were thoroughly interrupted. As soon as Lily stepped into the Hall, the Marauders started cheering very loudly. Lily flushed and covered her face with her hands. What part of this is an underwhelming birthday celebration? There was a loud 'pop!' causing Lily to look up. The ceiling of the Great Hall was covered in an extremely ornate display of fireworks. Several of them were convalescing to read her well wishes for her birthday (though they were made out to 'Lily Bertha,' another unsuccessful and absurd guess at her middle name). Lily tried to block most of her face as she went over to them and took her seat. "Which one of you do I have to murder for this?" she asked as she grabbed a coffee.

"That would be all of us," Sirius beamed. Lily sighed.

"Don't worry," Remus told her. "We didn't get you anything."

Another sigh. "Now I can't believe you," she said glumly.

"Aww Pidg," James cooed, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry we like you too much to let your birthday go uncelebrated." With his other hand, he plopped a large 'birthday crown' atop her head; from across the table, Sirius charmed it to adhere to her head. It was a nifty spell in that every time she tried to free her hair, the crown's grip increased. In the end, Lily lost Gryffindor 50 points in a single day across four different classes.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

After supper, Lily spent some time chatting with her roommates while Mary readied herself for her date. Though Lily was largely useless in the hair and makeup department, she did supply Mary with a vile of her invisibility potion to increase her chances of making it to the Ravenclaw common room unseen.

"Now Lily," Alice said, after they had all finished having a good laugh at the expense of Professor Slughorn. "We know you said no gifts–"

"No," Lily wailed, covering her face. She just wanted this embarrassment to end.

"But we wanted to get you something small," she said hastily. "And, more importantly, something that would give you a bit of a laugh." With that, she handed Lily a small bag.

Tentatively (and with many assurances that they shouldn't have gotten her anything), Lily reached in. She felt something hard and removed her hand to see a framed photograph of the four girls sitting together at the most recent Gryffindor Quidditch match. Lily had completely forgotten that this picture had been taken. Malik (Mary's Malik) had made a big show of trying to take pictures of students from every house in a readily apparent attempt to get close to Mary and have an excuse to talk to her. It worked, obviously. Lily stared, transfixed, at the girl in the picture, who looked like her, but simultaneously didn't. This girl had a pristine pony tail, confident smile, and ginormous 'G's painted on her cheeks in red lipstick. Lily watched as the girl brought her hands up to her mouth to give a big cheer and then turned and had an exchange with Marlene.

Lily was speechless. She knew she had friends in her three roommates, but it was another thing altogether to see it, clear as day. If she had been any other student, she would have looked at the four of them and felt jealous at how laidback and cohesive they were. Lily placed the photograph delicately in her lap and looked up at the gift-givers. As she did so, she realized that her face was wet with tears.

"No, no, none of that!" Marlene cried. "That's why there's another gift in there. We have to get rid of those tears one way or another."

Lily paused. Another gift? She reached back into the bag. Indeed, she felt something soft and removed a parcel wrapped in tissue paper. Slowly, she peeled back the corners to reveal... lingerie?

Lily turned bright red and coughed. "Guys, I... you know I don't have any use for this, right?" she asked, mortified. What on earth did they think she was getting up to with the Marauders?

Mary and Marlene chortled, but Alice gave them a stern look. "Don't listen to whatever they're going to say," she instructed.

"So...?"

"Alright, we'll admit," Marlene said, calming down. "Part of the appeal of the gift is that it gave us an excuse to go into the store." Ah, well alright then! Lily thought happily. That I can accept.

"But," Alice added with a glare. "You don't need to be shagging someone to have cute knickers. We thought you might just enjoy having some. For you."

"Oh," Lily said simply. She started going through the pieces they had bought and realized quickly that they were actually quite tasteful: a few pairs of brightly-coloured, lacy knickers, a matching bra, and a short, silk nightgown. "Wasn't this terribly expensive?" Lily asked.

Mary laughed. "Firstly, no. Secondly, it's from all of us."

"Even divided by three, I'm still willing to bet this was way more than you should have spent," Lily protested with a frown.

"Seven," Marlene corrected.

"WHAT?" Lily screamed. She couldn't believe her ears. "You better be about to tell me you roped in four first years."

"Nope," Alice remarked, completely unperturbed. "But we did rope in the Marauders."

"No, no, no," Lily said, shaking her head. "You're lying," she insisted in denial. Then, it struck her that they probably were lying just to get a rise out of her. She calmed down at once. "You're lying," she repeated.

"No, we're really not," Marlene said with a chuckle. "They even side-alonged us to London so we could find a good store."

"The seven of you went to a lingerie store to buy me underwear?" she asked in total disbelief. Lily wasn't even sure she could call to mind a moment when she wasn't with at least one of the seven of them.

"Nah, Remus and Sirius took Marls and me," Mary remarked, as though that were a reasonable arrangement.

"And where was I?"

"Getting a flying lesson," Alice supplied.

"Did James know?"

"It was his idea!" she exclaimed with a laugh. "That's why he was so pushy, even though it was raining." Lily felt unbelievably deceived. "You're so oblivious sometimes, Lils," she remarked with a laugh.

Mary laughed at Lily's expression. "They don't know what we bought, don't worry." Lily sighed in relief. Finally, a saving grace. "And we won't tell them... so long as you promise to wear what we bought." Mary winked in her direction.

Lily covered her face bashfully. "Deal."

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Lily did have to admit, wearing lacy knickers was quite the confidence boost – even if the activity in question was simply a few rounds of chess in the common room. At first, she and the Marauders, along with Alice and Marlene had taken turns playing a few games in parallel (a makeshift tournament), but gradually, her friends had dropped off one by one. For the past hour or so, it had just been herself, James, and Sirius. Lily and James were seated on the couch, playing as a 'team' (James maintaining that Lily was his handicap) and Sirius was seated across from them on the floor. However, at around midnight, he bid them farewell. Lily felt a little betrayed, but then again, she did reckon that four continuous hours of chess would be enough for any sane individual.

"Are you off too?" Lily asked, turning to James. She tried not to let her voice reflect how nervous she was to be alone. Far from what she had told Mary, she didn't feel like she'd be able to sleep for several hours.

"I'm happy to stay up," James replied with a friendly smile. "You don't look ready to sleep."

Lily let out a nervous laugh. "I'm afraid not."

James paused. "Is something up?" Lily shook her head. She didn't feel like she could trust her voice not to give her away. She took a few deep, steadying breaths. "It looks like something's up," he observed. Another pause. "Did we not give you a fun birthday?"

"No, no," she said with a little smile. There was no possible way she could remain silent for that question. "It was great." Her voice warbled and she tried to blink back a few tears.

"Hey," James murmured gently. "Are you about to cry?" Lily nodded her head solemnly. "You're not supposed to cry on your birthday," he told her with a smile.

"It wouldn't be the first time," Lily reminded him, figuring she might as well sound self-aware. However, as she tried to force a laugh, it seemed to open the floodgates, causing her to break down completely.

James pulled her in until he was cradling her body and leaned the pair of them back into a semi-reclined position. He shushed her and started rubbing circles into her arm. Not willing to send a strange message, however, Lily stayed somewhat tensed – the result of which was less than comfortable. "What has you so sad?"

"I just miss my parents," she admitted – fully accepting that it made her sound like a child.

"Is that all?" he asked softly.

Lily nodded. "I know it sounds like nothing–"

"It's not nothing," James corrected. "What would your mum and dad be doing for your birthday if you were with them?" he asked after a minute. He was still making circles with his fingers and Lily found it surprisingly effective at making her forget what she was crying about a few minutes ago. Or perhaps that was actually attributable to the fact that her world was slowly becoming engulfed in the scent of James' cologne.

"Oh, nothing, really," she said with a more genuine chuckle. Then she made a quick move to wipe the snot away from her nose. "A gift, of course. A plain cake. Maybe I'd choose the activity for the night. Really the same as everything you did today."

"Oh yeah," James remarked. "What did we get you, after all?"

"Makeup," Lily lied immediately. Her face was presumably red and splotchy from crying, so with any luck, he wouldn't notice the tell-tale signs of lying. She tried to tuck her chin down and out of sight all the same.

"Ouch!" James yelped. Lily realized that she had poked him with the tip of her birthday crown and laughed. "I guess that's karma for you." He brandished his wand and cast a spell wordlessly, freeing her head adornment. Unfortunately, her many efforts to do the same throughout the day had made it stuck of its own accord. The two of them had to begin slowly detangling the knots that had formed around the frame. "Your curls are different now, eh?" he asked after a moment. "Much larger."

"I–" It struck her that he seemed very confused. "That's intentional," she informed him. "You know that, right?"

"What?" he asked, astonished. Lily was actually surprised he was this oblivious. Sirius had recognized her new hairstyle within ten seconds of seeing her.

"Yeah, I use these... muggle things," she said with a vague curling gesture. "Tuney gave them to me." Tuney, she thought sadly.

"You didn't like the way your hair was before?"

"Merlin, no," she responded with emphasis. "It was everywhere. All the time. Drove me nuts."

"Huh." The two of them kept detangling for several minutes until the crown could finally be liberated. Lily felt completely exhausted in a head-to-toe, almost out-of-body kind of way, yet her emotions still felt tenuous and she had no desire to go to bed. She and James seemed to enter into some sort of unspoken agreement in which neither one of them was going to turn in if they could possibly help it. They talked about Quidditch, muggle studies, books – essentially anything James could think of to keep her mind off her family. Eventually, they reached a point where there were recurrent pauses and latencies in their conversation and Lily was taking long, heavy blinks.

And then Lily opened her eyes, surmising at once that she had fallen asleep. The fire had long since died and the common room was dark and cold. Lily had a painful crick in her neck and her left arm was asleep. She slowly sat up, turning to look at James. He was sound asleep. Bringing a hand up to her face, she could feel the pattern of his shirt imprinted on her cheek. You just fell asleep cuddling, her mind chanted, over and over again. Okay, I get it, she chided. What do I do now? she asked as she shook out her hand. After several minutes of indecision, she covered him with a blanket and headed upstairs alone. Her mind was racing as she brushed her teeth and slipped into bed. Looking around at the other beds, she could tell that Mary had returned – and had probably seen her in a very compromising position on her way up. She was sure she would never hear the end of this.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Surprisingly, no one ever did make mention of her late-night cuddle session. Perhaps Mary hadn't actually noticed when she came back from her date? Alternately, Lily supposed it was possible that her friends were simply giving her a pass, knowing how upset she had been on her birthday. It was also conceivable that everyone was so consumed with the final deadlines of the semester that they had forgotten about Lily's antics altogether.

Before she knew it, the holidays were upon them. Everyone crowded together on their last night to celebrate surviving the term and their upcoming break. The Great Hall had at least twenty decorated Christmas trees and the ceiling was even snowing. For Lily, who knew she'd be staying at the castle for the break, it was all very bittersweet. But she tried her very best to keep that to herself and enjoy the moment. If anything, her attempts to conceal her melancholy resulted in her being overly gregarious.

When she was back in her room and all the other girls started packing up their things, Lily finally came clean to her friends. "It's completely fine," she lied, after spilling the beans. She was sporting what she was sure looked like a manic grin. "It might actually be great. This way Tuney and I won't be at each other's throats and I can just relax for two weeks." Lily's friends were not at all deceived and piled onto her bed to envelop her in a massive embrace. Ultimately, however, they respected her decision.

The next morning, Lily heard her roommates getting ready for breakfast, but decided to stay in bed and luxuriate. She had asked the girls to break the news to the Marauders for her and, in turn, they had promised to stop any of them from visiting before the train left. Even though this arrangement was what Lily had explicitly requested, that didn't stop her from secretly hoping James or Sirius might come see her anyway. She didn't want to see them (and she certainly didn't want to field an invitation to the Potter home), but the idea that they might just leave without forcing their way up was admittedly undesirable as well. The result was that Lily spent what felt like an eternity rolling every which way, attempting to sleep, but failing miserably. "We can tell you're awake," Mary said accusatorily when the girls came back to fetch their bags.

"No, no, I'm sound asleep," Lily corrected dryly with her eyes closed.

Alice sighed. "It's such a shame Lily's asleep," she said to the other two. "Now we can't tell her how much we're going to miss her."

"Oh, don't make me cry," Lily whined. The girls complied and left with quiet 'goodbyes.'

Lily waited around for an extra half hour or so to ensure that all of the stragglers that were holding on had exited the castle. Then, she finally got up. She cautiously appraised her surroundings. Usually, she and the girls left for vacation in a mad frenzy, the result of which was a room that rather resembled a warzone. This time – surely to make matters more pleasant for Lily – the girls had actually been quite orderly. Looking around at a massive dorm-room intended for four people that Lily now had to herself was simultaneously isolating and exhilarating. As she stood up and headed for the lavatory, it struck Lily that this was the most alone she'd ever been in her entire life. Part of her wanted to sit down a cry, while another part wanted to jump on the bed, just for the hell of it; for the time being, she ignored both impulses.

Lily fixed her hair, put on her cutest muggle clothes, and did her makeup – if she was going to be here alone, she might as well get a nice confidence boost. Absent anything else to do, but still feeling a strange buzz of nervous energy, she started prepping another wideye potion. By the time she left it to brew, she felt strangely numb inside. "You have two weeks off," Lily said out loud as she paced every which day. "Two weeks with no classes, no early mornings, no homework you have to do..." No friends, either. "This is the dream," she tried to convince herself. "You've alwaystalked about how much you wanted two weeks to pause, two weeks all to yourself." But what to do with it? Absentmindedly, Lily straightened up all of her belongings, but that only took a handful of minutes.

Then, Lily had another idea. She grabbed her wand, took Marlene's blanket off her bed, and charmed it until it was a bit denser. Then, she stretched it out on the floor as a makeshift exercise mat. Lily had always been extremely self-conscious about the way she looked when she was running or doing other simple aerobic exercises – she was also aware that she was far from the fittest fifteen-year-old and often felt too intimidated to even attempt exercising if others were in her line of sight. Briefly excited by the opportunity, Lily started doing jumping jacks and counted to twenty... and then to fifty. She paused, out of breath. Then she lay down and did twenty sit-ups, at which point she was piping hot and moist. She flopped onto her back like a big starfish and stared at the ceiling, wondering desperately why cardio was so miserable. On that note, looking around at three completely vacant beds was also miserable. With a sigh, Lily pushed herself up, grabbed a muggle book and some candy (she had, after all, skipped breakfast) and decided to head down to the common room. She figured it was likely to be empty, though perhaps there would be an abandoned first-year student to befriend.

As she walked downstairs she could tell that one of the armchairs was occupied, but she just about dropped her belongings when she saw the occupant.

"James?" Lily asked very loudly in disbelief.

"Pigeon!" he cried happily, throwing his copy of the Prophet aside. "We were wondering when you would come down."

"We?" Lily repeated blankly.

"Sure, me and Pads," he shrugged.

"Sirius is here too?"

"Well, he just popped off to the kitchens, but sure."

"But hasn't the train left?"

"I would think so," James replied nonchalantly. "We've been waiting for you for some time."

"You didn't go home?" Lily felt like she was five steps behind. She realized she was still awkwardly standing by the staircase and walked closer to James, perching herself on the armrest of the couch.

"It would appear not," he said gravely. Lily nearly couldn't believe her eyes. She felt something like a dehydrated desert traveller staring at a vast oasis. Here this boy was, looking far too dashing in his armchair (the whole scene looked like a worthy subject for a Modigliani painting) casually making light of the fact that he had clearly surrendered an entire vacation for her benefit.

"Evans!" she heard Sirius cry. She turned to see him enter the common room, several plates of food floating behind him. Lily couldn't help but notice how delicious some of it smelled, but told her stomach to settle down. There were more important things afoot.

"You didn't go home," she repeated in disbelief.

Sirius turned to James. "She hasn't figured that out yet?"

"She's a bit slow on the uptake," he replied.

"Figures," Sirius commented as he lowered the plates onto the nearest coffee table. "We were waiting forever for you," he said accusingly. "We were beginning to suspect you were dead."

"I myself was afraid you'd started writing an essay for fun and we wouldn't see you for days," James joked in stride.

"A potion would be more likely."

"Knowing Pidg, she could have been crying."

"Maybe she had a boy up there," Sirius teased. "I think I heard a rumour that Amos was staying for the break too." He turned to Lily and winked.

"Enough," she cut them off, flushing slightly. She kept her eyes strictly on Sirius. "I did make a potion. I may or may not have also cried. But that's neither here nor there. Why didn't you go home?"

"Why do you think?" Sirius asked rhetorically. Lily stared at him blankly. It had to be because of her, but she couldn't bring herself to say that out loud. "Obviously because of you," he spelled out for her.

"But your family," she said, turning to James. "They're expecting you to come home and celebrate Christmas with them."

"Nah, they know I'm staying." He shrugged.

"How?" Lily asked. James must have only decided to stay a couple of hours ago.

"I told them a while ago."

"How?" Lily repeated.

"Mary."

"What?" she yelped.

James chuckled. "You thought she was going to just let you sit here alone for the entire break?"

Lily paused. "Yeah, kind of." This earned her laughter all around. "I feel so betrayed," she said with a pout.

"Oh, poor Pigeon," James teased. "Her friends care about her so much."

Lily groaned in response. "I feel so guilty, though. You can't even imagine." Then, she had a sudden realization. "You can apparate!" she exclaimed.

"Glad you remembered," Sirius chirped.

"So you can still go home!" she continued, unperturbed. "Get out of here," she instructed.

"No thanks," Sirius told her with a shrug.

"No, really. I'm evicting you."

James made a show of looking all around and over his shoulders. "Powerful words," he told her. "It doesn't seem to have worked yet."

Lily hopped off the armrest and went over to James. She grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet. Then she started dragging him toward the portrait. "Come on," she grunted. "Time to go." James was resisting heavily and gave in only to take a few steps; nevertheless, he appeared completely at ease, whereas Lily was huffing and practically horizontal with how much she was straining.

"You're going to have to pull harder than that, Evans," Sirius remarked. "He might be a bit stronger than you."

"Oh, sod off," Lily said disjointedly. She continued pulling.

"Are we going to do this all day?" James asked calmly. "Because I've got a few other things to do..." he trailed off with a smirk.

Lily gave a high-pitched whine. She dropped his hands but moved her arms around his waist, wrapped around to his other side, and started pushing. James remained anchored to the ground. "Alright," he said after a moment. Then he threw an arm around her shoulders, wrapped another around her leg, and scooped her up like a child. Lily gave a perfunctory squeal... though she couldn't pretend that she wasn't simultaneously delighted. James deposited her on the couch next to Sirius and sat across from her on the coffee table. "Pigeon, stop fighting us," he instructed. "We're staying here for the break."

"No," she objected.

"Yes, we are. And we're happy to stay here for the break. We're going to have a grand old time, aren't we?" he asked his best friend. Sirius confirmed, in between mouthfuls.

Lily huffed, unsure of whether or not she should continue to object. "Why did you let me stew for all those hours?" she asked at last. "It was so depressing."

"We were told in no uncertain terms that we weren't to visit you in your room," he replied with a big smile.

"But that was when I thought you were leaving!"

"Yes, well," Sirius cut in. "We did figure if we told you before the train left, you would try and talk us out of it."

Lily crossed her arms. She couldn't truly object to that reasoning.

"Are you done fighting us?" James asked her. Lily nodded her head in acquiescence. "Great!" he beamed. "Because we know you didn't get any breakfast." As if on cue, Sirius held up a plate with three waffles, topped with fruit and whipped cream.

"This is yours if you stop complaining," Sirius said simply.

"Deal," Lily agreed, unknowingly mirroring the conversation with her roommates on her birthday.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

Whatever Lily's initial trepidation had been, it quickly gave way to euphoria, not only at not being completely abandoned for the break, but also for the quality time with both James and Sirius. Of course, James reassuring her that he would, in fact, apparate home at some point and visit his parents didn't hurt either.

The three of them quickly fell into an effortless routine. They had become semi-nocturnal, waking up just in time to meander to the Great Hall for lunch. From there, the day was typically devoted to a range of tasks: planning pranks for the new year, heading to Hogsmeade for Christmas shopping, slipping out to the Quidditch pitch for a very chilly flying lesson in lots of layers. Lily always had some alone time in the late afternoon, during which she would shower, write letters to the girls, touch base with her potions, and read (at the moment, Emma). After supper, the three of them regrouped and spent the entire evening together, chatting and playing parlour games

This was how Lily came to find herself sitting in the boys' dorm at an early hour of the morning playing Never Have I Ever. Given that there were just three of them, and, moreover, that they were extremely close friends, it wasn't going particularly well. Fortunately, Lily had campaigned for a handicap – she was drinking a pint of butterbeer spiked with a single shot of firewhisky.

"Never have I ever..." Sirius started dramatically, looking around from face to face. "Consumed a love potion," he finished triumphantly.

Lily rolled her eyes, but took a swing of her drink. "I don't think you two are playing the game right," she complained.

"How so?" Sirius pouted. "We didn't drink. You had to drink. Seems like we're winning." The fact that he was considerably more inebriated than Lily was left unsaid.

"Yes, but you know me. If you just want to gang up on me that's easily done."

"So what else am I supposed to be doing?" he whined.

"Using it as an opportunity to learn things?" Lily suggested.

"Nonsense. I know everything about you." She shrugged.

James, however, looked like Lily had just given him an excellent idea. "Alright, Pidg. You asked for it," he warned. Lily felt herself grow a bit warm and regretted having given him this idea. "Never have I ever... kissed a boy."

Oh. Is that all? For fun, Lily started to raise her drink to her lips, thoroughly enjoying James' supremely shocked expression. Then, at the last minute, she changed course and brought it back down to her lap. "Sorry," she said flippantly as James complained about her antics.

"Wait!" Sirius called out pointing at her. "You're lying."

Lily was completely taken aback. "I am not," she objected. If I had kissed a boy, I damn well would have known about it.

"Prongs," he said excitedly.

"I'm sorry," Lily said slowly. "Are you suggesting that I kissed James," she said with a point in his direction, "and then forgot about it?" She stared at Sirius meaningfully.

"Evidently."

"You're going to have to bring me up to speed here," Lily continued. She felt strangely clammy. "Did a Slytherin erase my memory or something?" She peaked at James out of the corner of her eye, but he was wearing a curious expression she couldn't read.

"The lake."

"The lake..." Lily trailed off, clearly inviting him to say more. He didn't provide any additional information, but suddenly it clicked. She groaned in both frustration and relief. "You mean my mouth-to-mouth?" she asked reprovingly.

"Sure, call it whatever you want."

"That's not kissing, you git," she complained.

"And how do you define kissing, Evans?" Sirius crossed his arms defiantly.

"I..." Lily felt the familiar sensation of digging a hole and hopping right in. Mechanically speaking, she didn't have a leg to stand on. "It's romantic," she concluded.

Sirius laughed. That was seldom a good sign. "So, what you're saying is that you have to have feelings for the bloke?"

"No!" Lily yelped. She tried desperately to catch herself and regain her cool. "Not what I said at all. The kiss has to be romantic. If the goal is saving your friend's life, it's not a kiss."

"So if someone had a gun to my head and asked me to kiss you—"

"Enough, enough," Lily interrupted. It was time to quit while she was still (minimally) ahead. "I give up." Sirius gave her a wolf whistle as she raised her drink again. She responded in turn by showing him her middle finger as she took a few gulps. "Alright, just to clear the air here..." she said, trying to reign in her dignity. "Never have I ever been kissed." The two boys, unsurprisingly, were obliged to do a shot.

Unfortunately, this brought things back to Sirius. "Okay, Evans. Never have I ever fancied a boy." Lily blinked very slowly in his direction to show her disapproval at his juvenile line of thought. Then she took an exceedingly slow swing of her drink.

James' eyes danced with obvious delight. "Never have I ever fancied a boy at Hogwarts."

Shit, shit, shit. Forget the hole she had dug earlier – Lily had just fallen into her own grave. She froze for a second, wondering if she should just lie.

"Remember Evans," came Sirius' taunting voice. "If you knowingly lie and we catch you, you have to drink twice and perform a dare of our choice.

James gaped at his friend. "Do you know something I don't?"

Sirius shrugged. "I know lots of things," he said ambiguously.

With a shaky hand, Lily brought her drink to her lips and took a small sip. Her mind was racing desperately, trying to think of anything she could do to redirect their questions. All of a sudden – thank Merlin she was 99% sober – she had an idea. She opened her mouth, then closed it, frantically trying to finesse the phrasing. At last, she had it. "Never have I ever had a masculine middle name," she said slowly, staring at each of her friends, "that started with a vowel."

James' eyes went wide. But he didn't drink. Sirius, for his part (who also didn't drink), gave Lily a small round of applause. "Well played, Evans."

With that, Lily was able to survive the rest of the game without storming out. She made a mental note to write a love song to firewhisky in the morning. After only a few more rounds, Sirius and James were about ready to nod off and Lily was more than happy to abandon this game – and maybe even permanently retire it from their repertoire. Unlike the other two, Lily had enough energy to slip off to the lavatory before hopping into bed.

That was, after all, the final part of her routine. The first night of the break, the three of them had similarly stayed up late, chatting about home, Christmas, their aspirations, and the great mysteries of life. At three of four in the morning, Lily had loudly lamented that it was going to be deeply depressing to return to the completely-empty girls' dormitory. Without a second thought, they had ordered her to sleep in Remus' bed and, strangely, Lily had simply obliged. She knew it would sound odd to describe, and for that reason, she had conveniently left that part out of her letters to Mary, Marlene, and Alice. But, in that moment, it hadjust felt right. And she was, after all, trying to stop overthinking things.

OooooOooooOooooOooooO

"Whoa, you look festive."

Lily chuckled and twirled. "Oh, thank you. It is Christmas eve after all." Lily was wearing a sweater with two big reindeer on it. She wore it every Christmas eve – though she did have to admit that, now that she knew James' animagus, it gave her some pause this year.

"There!" Sirius exclaimed. "Now you match." Lily turned to look at James and realized that Sirius had charmed his sweater to sport a large deer.

"Thanks Pads," James said with a roll of his eyes.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Lily asked. The boys had been quite secretive about it while they were eating together.

"I'm taking you somewhere," James said vaguely.

"Oh?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows. "What if I refuse to go?"

"You're going to want to go," Sirius added from the couch.

"But you're not going?" Lily clarified.

Sirius shrugged and flipped a page of his magazine. "Not my cup of tea."

"Well now you've got my interest piqued."

"Excellent," James said with a big smile. He held out his hand. Lily paused for a split second, wondering if it would look more unusual if she accepted or rejected his outstretched hand. Figuring Sirius would be the only one to tease her later, she grabbed hold of it and intertwined their fingers.

"You two have fun," Sirius called out at their retreating figures. "And be home by eleven!"

Lily's mind was whirring as the pair of them took the passageway into the Honeydukes cellar. She had no doubt they would be apparating, but hadn't the faintest idea where James was taking her, why, or why Sirius wouldn't want to come. When he opened his arm invitingly for her to side-along, she paused and shot him a look. "Where are we going?" she asked. "Paris again?" she guessed with a smile. Then she gave a small gasp. "Rome? Berlin?"

"Stop, stop," James instructed with an affectionate laugh. "Nowhere crazy today. We're staying in England." His arm was out but Lily still didn't take it, opting to stare him down for more information instead. "Alright," he acquiesced. "We're going to London. But that's all I'm telling you for now." Obviously, that engendered more questions than it settled, but Lily gave in and the pair of them disapparated.

The streets of London were positively bustling with last-minute Christmas shoppers. Lily timidly followed James around like a lost puppy as they wove their way in and out of the crowds. Eventually he paused outside a café, double-checking the sign a few times. "Is this the best coffee in England or something?" Lily joked. She had been known to like her caffeine, but she remained quite perplexed at their purpose in coming here.

"Something like that," James answered. He led her inside, looked carefully at every table, and then selected an empty one.

"Are you going to catch me up any time soon?" Lily asked. Part of her couldn't help but wonder if this was a strange, roundabout date – but she would never voice that. She also begrudgingly had to remind herself that he was being oddly specific and must therefore have some other sort of agenda.

"Don't freak out," James warned.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "I will if it's warranted."

"Okay, fine." James started ruffling his hair. "Here's the thing." No things were forthcoming.

"What did you do?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"I invited your family to meet us here at this coffee shop," he spat out nervously.

"You did what?" Lily asked, her voice scarcely above a whisper.

"Look, I just..." he finally pried his hand away from his thick black hair and folded them neatly together in the table. "I could tell how sad you were that you weren't going to see your family for Christmas," he said. Lily tried to interrupt him, but he beat her to it. "And I know you had excellent reasons," he added hastily. "But I figured that if they were meeting us at a busy coffee shop in a major muggle city for an hour, there's no possible way anything could be traced back to them."

Lily brought her hands up to her face and sighed. After a moment, she brought them back down to the table. "And how did you tell them to come here?" she asked.

"I wrote them." He smiled, clearly proud of himself.

"You sent an owl – or perhaps multiple owls – to my house?" Lily hissed. If that were acceptable, she would have been doing it all term.

"No," he said shaking his head back and forth. "I went to a post office and sent them a letter." He now looked very proud of himself. Lily sighed again. She couldn't tell if she felt touched, betrayed, excited, or terrified – though perhaps she felt all these things and more. After she had been silent for a minute, James reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "I just wanted to give you the kind of Christmas you deserve." Lily looked up at his eyes and felt herself drowning in a familiar sea of hazel.

"Can I get you two something?" Lily tore her eyes away to look at their waitress. It was a slightly older woman who was wearing a Santa hat. Lily could tell the woman thought they were a couple. Hoping desperately that James couldn't tell that, she squeaked out that she'd like an English Breakfast tea. James ordered 'the same.' The woman gave them what appeared to be an encouraging smile and left.

After only a few minutes of sipping their teas, they were joined by none other than Eric, Iris, and Petunia Evans. Lily's parents practically suffocated her in embraces between the two of them. She could have sworn she heard her mum mention how much she'd grown under her breath. "Enough, enough," Lily chided, though she knew she was smiling ear-to-ear as she said it. "We're in public."

"Amen to that," Petunia said smoothly as she sat herself down at the table. The others followed suit.

"We're just excited to see you, Lilykins," her dad said with a small wink in his youngest daughter's direction.

"Yes," Petunia huffed. "In fact, we were so excited that we drove for hours to get a cup of tea in London. On Christmas Eve." Lily couldn't think to do anything but stare in her sister's direction and offer a few slow blinks.

James did her one better and gave an awkward cough as he stood up from the table. "I'm going to give you guys some alone time." He sounded uncomfortable.

"Oh nonsense!" Lily's mum cried.

"No, really," James protested. "That was always my intent. I brought magazines and everything," he said, reaching into his bag to retrieve the magazines in question. Petunia's eyes nearly popped out of her head as she watched his entire arm disappear into what appeared to be only a small sack.

"No, James! Sit back down," Lily's dad instructed. "Petunia and I were just saying how we wanted to get to know you better." He caught Lily's eyes and gave her a quick wink. She couldn't help but turn her head toward her lap and smile, just as she heard Petunia give an all-to-predictable yelp. "What, all those hours you spent borrowing our bikes? And to think, I don't know a single thing about you!"

James hesitated, then smoothly crouched down back into his seat. "So, James," Iris started. "You didn't want to spend Christmas with your family?"

"Oh, I'll probably pop by and see them at some point," he replied casually. "But I thought Lily could use the company more." He shot Lily a smile and squeezed her hand affectionately. For a split second, this cute and seemingly routine gesture warmed her heart – it was after all, incredibly genuine. But then Lily remembered that there were three other people at the table and pulled her hand back quickly.

"Oh, do they live in London?" Eric asked, ignorant of James' 'pop' euphemism.

"No, they –" James started, but Lily shook her head desperately.

"I think it's best not to ask," Petunia scolded. "But if Lily was in such desperate need of company, did she consider coming home and spending Christmas vacation with her family?" Petunia shot pure daggers at Lily with her eyes – so much so that Lily couldn't tell if her sister felt betrayed that Lily hadn't come home, or furious that she was being forced to see her at all right now.

"I explained it all in my letter, Tuney," Lily said quietly.

There was a pause. "We didn't really understand though, honey," her mum said softly. "People don't like... people with non-magical families?"

Lily nodded. "That's not... brand new information." Years ago, Lily had made brief mention of the fact that 'some' of the other students didn't like her for this reason. She could still remember her mum giving her a big hug, stroking her hair, and calmly reassuring her that these other students must just be embarrassed because Lily was out-performing them, even though they had an advantage. Sadly, Lily realized that when her parents read her letter, they must have had naïve thoughts along this line. More sadly, Lily was undecided about whether or not she wanted to correct this assumption.

"But why does that mean you can't come home?" her dad asked. It wasn't an unreasonable question.

"Because..." Lily trailed off, then coughed. She briefly recognized how awkward this entire conversation must appear to James. The sympathy rolling off him was almost palpable. "Because some... older... folks," she struggled (she was, after all, in a public place), "have made some threats. Against families. And I don't want to risk it."

"Threats like...?" her mum questioned.

"Like," she responded and then paused. How to say this? "Like bad things," she floundered, rather like a kindergarten student. She stared at her mother to indicate that she didn't want to keep discussing this.

"Like threats on our lives?" Petunia hissed. Of course you wouldn't hesitate to think the worst of us, Lily thought pessimistically. But yes.

"Surely not, dear," Iris shushed. Lily looked away at the older couple to her right. "But why would they care?" Iris asked quickly, likely to spare Lily from having to confirm or deny that last question.

"Because... powerful families with old money are often elitist about it. In every setting." Lily quietly reflected on the utility of all those English essays she had written over the summer. Then she took a slow sip of her now-over-steeped tea to bridge the silence.

"James," Petunia addressed, clearing her throat. "What's your family background?"

"Tuney," Lily chided, hurriedly putting down her drink.

James, however, simply shrugged. "Magical. Old money. The less elitist kind, though."

"Well that must be nice for you," she replied, voice as cold as ice. "No family that you're worried about hurting. Or that you're forced to abandon."

Lily let out a very sharp sigh, then stood up abruptly. "You guys don't have drinks," she said, as pleasantly as she could manage. "Let me go get you some." Without pausing to hear their objections – or their orders – she marched off to the counter. Only thirty seconds or so after arriving did she remember that she didn't even have any muggle money.

"Can I get you some more drinks?" her server asked with a bright smile.

"Er," Lily paused. "Do I need to pay for them now or at the end?" She felt about ten years old.

"I can pay for them." Lily turned to see her dad.

"You can pay for them at the end anyhow," the waitress informed them with a bemused expression.

"Okay," Lily muttered. "We'll have another English Breakfast tea, an Earl Grey, and a latte," she told the lady arbitrarily. "You guys can figure it out amongst yourselves," she said, turning back to face her father.

"You've certainly become more assertive," he commented. If her mother or sister had said that, Lily would have protested at once, but something in his amused and pleasant expression made her feel strangely at ease.

"It had to happen eventually," she said neutrally. Now that she was reflecting on it, his comment was actually fairly insightful.

Eric chuckled. "It's so strange keeping one daughter at home and sending the other away. I'm sure Petunia must have grown up at some point too but it was far sneakier."

Lily smiled, feeling some of her frustration melt away. "I'm still eleven," she joked with a shake of her head. Then she leaned in to give him a hug and revelled in the way he ensconced her in response. "I missed you, daddy," she told him softly.

"I missed you too, Lils," he replied easily. His hand was running up and down her back in the loveliest of ways. Lily inhaled slowly, trying her best to engrain this moment in her long-term memory. After all, who knew how long it would be until she could do this again? All too soon, her dad pulled back, and she followed suit. "So," he said matter-of-factly. "These threats: are they serious?"

Lily sighed. "I, uh..." she was shifting about, trying not to think about the subject of the question too much. "I think they're pretty serious," she said lightly. The two of them locked eyes; Lily was pretty sure her meaning was received.

"You don't have to protect us, honey," her dad commented after a moment.

Lily blinked rapidly, refusing to cry. "How could I ever forgive myself if something happened, dad?"

"Oh Lily," Eric sighed. He reached a hand out and started rubbing her shoulder. "You don't have to worry about your mum and me, that's what – oh, thank you," he said to the waitress who returned with their drinks. "It's supposed to work the other way around," he finished, more gently.

Lily shrugged. "It is how it is," she said ambiguously. She had so much more to say... yet she also felt as though she had said too much.

The corners of Eric's mouth turned up. "You know, sometimes I think you were born an adult." Lily smiled and brushed her hair out of her face as she shook her head. "No, really!" he continued. "I still remember sending you off for your first year. Your mum and I were completely star-struck and could barely remember how to walk. But you just said goodbye and off you went! I don't even think you got homesick!"

Lily chuckled. "I was terribly homesick," she observed. "I still am."

"Well, we're all a little homesick all the time," he commented. "Calmly carrying on is the definition of adulthood."

"I suspect there might be a little more involved," Lily said wryly. She reached out to grab some of the drinks, but her dad placed a hand on top of hers to stop her.

"Are you..." her dad seemed to be struggling to find the right words. "Are you sure you still want to keep doing this, Lily?" She shot him a look to show that she wasn't following. "Are you sure you want to go back to Hogwarts?" he asked softly. "This is exactly why it was so important to us that you keep taking regular courses. We always wanted you to have options."

Lily sighed heavily. In point of fact, she was absolutely not sure. But this was hardly the time or place. "You really think I want to devote over four years of my life to learning about... something magical... and then leave it all behind?" Eric didn't say anything right away, so she carried on. "I've given up so much for this, dad. All those years away from you, my friends, I... I should at least learn to do the thing I set out to do." Lily really wished they didn't have to have this conversation in public.

"But you do," Eric insisted quietly. "You've told me about everything you've learned how to do. And it's amazing! Do you really think you need another three years to learn even more?"

Lily felt a smile break out on her face. It was occasionally annoying, but frequently delightful, how continually impressed her parents were at the slightest mention of magic. "Firstly, yes," she replied emphatically. "But secondly, if I leave now, I can't do any of it."

The encouraging expression Eric had been sporting dropped off at once. "Because of your age?"

"At all," Lily corrected. "You have to at least finish fifth-year."

"Oh," he said simply.

Lily nodded slowly in recognition of his internal conflict. "At this point, I'm in," she told him. "The time to decide not to go to Hogwarts was four and half years ago."

Eric chuckled faintly. "As if I could have talked you out of going four and a half years ago. I think you would have appealed that decision straight up to the prime minister." Another customer was waiting at the table behind them, looking somewhat vexed, so they picked up their drinks and started walking back to the table. "What are your plans, though, Lils?" he asked. "Where are you going to stay for the summer?"

Well shit. Lily quite honestly hadn't thought about that. "I... I'll have to see. I'm sure there are things we could do to make it safer," she said quickly. "I can cast some spells – or James can cast some spells... or... I don't know." She felt a little panicked and was worried her dad would pick up on that.

"Okay, okay," he soothed. "One step at a time. I get that." Lily nodded, trying to calm herself by force of will. "Just don't think that you have to make all these decisions on your own." Lily didn't respond, returning to her earlier seat instead.

The conversation stayed pleasant and superficial for some time – everyone perhaps sensing that tensions were quite high. However, after several minutes of discussing the weather and idle news about old neighbours and classmates, it seemed to fizzle out. James was the one to rescue the Evans family by suggesting they exchange gifts. Lily had instantly yelped that she hadn't brought any (after all, this outing had been a complete surprise), but James had simply produced his bag and a wink. She was ecstatic, though that didn't stop her from muttering under her breath about how adorably heavy-handed he was.

Lily's gifts weren't terribly inventive, but then again, she hadn't even been sure of how, or if, she would be able to get them to her family. For her parents, tasteful jumpers, for her sister, a new vase (she had, indeed, noticed that her previous one had been broken and hastily repaired). Petunia simply spread her lips into a long, thin line at seeing this present. In return, Petunia gave Lily a new journal with a fabric binding. Her parents gave her a small, wrapped box that opened with a soft pop to reveal pearl studs. She delicately stroked one with one finger as she thought about what to say. Lily only owned a few pairs of earrings and, although she loved all of them and took great care to rotate, even she had to admit that they were fairly... frugal. This was the first piece of genuine jewellery Lily felt like she had ever owned.

Petunia, on the other hand, didn't seem to be experiencing the same struggle for words. "Some of us were told we had to wait until we were 17 to get pearl earrings," she snarled with pursed lips. Lily involuntarily rolled her eyes and quickly blinked to cover it up.

"Well, your father and I talked about it. And we just wanted to do something special for Lily this year. We're really proud of you, honey," Iris said, reaching across to hold Lily's hand.

"Yes, because I'm sure Lily struggles with not feeling special enough." Another eye roll against forcibly closed eyes. Lily wasn't even sure if Petunia was mad about anything in particular at this point, or just defaulting to being vitriolic on principle.

"Thanks for that, Tuney," Lily mumbled wearily. "I'm going to the Ladies'," she added quickly as she stood up. She would say just about anything at this point to earn some space from her sister.

After a couple of minutes of alone time, Lily was just about to return to the table, when her mum came in and joined her. "I'm sorry about Tuney," Iris said simply.

"Don't be," Lily replied dejectedly. "It's nothing new. I shouldn't let it get to me this much."

"Of course you should," her mum countered. "She's your sister. She should be supporting you – not shooting you thinly-veiled insults." Lily tilted her head back and forth to demonstrate the truth of that remark. "Did you like the earrings, dear?"

"Oh, I loved them," she answered immediately. "They're stunning." Lily paused briefly, wondering if she should speak her mind or remain silent. Recognizing that it would be months before she saw her mother again, she opted for the former. "Does," she mumbled, struggling for words – and confidence. "Does she not care about maintaining a relationship with me?" Lily asked, her voice straining. There was an all-too-familiar lump in her throat.

"Petunia?"

"Obviously," Lily replied, somewhat sharply. "I... I take it for now. But how much of this am I really expected to put up with as an adult before I just stop talking to her?"

Iris looked quite uncomfortable. "She likes you."

"Sure," Lily half-agreed. "Maybe. But if we assume that she does, she has an oddly-aggressive way of showing it."

"Oh Lily," her mum cooed. "She does like you. She's just jealous, love."

Lily let out a single, dark chuckle. "Well isn't that just the story of my life?" Her mother's facial expression made it clear that she didn't follow. "The other kids at school – the ones who were mean to me – they were just jealous of my grades. Even the kids at regular school – you used to tell me just the same thing!" Lily exclaimed. "So I just keep plowing on through with people mistreating me, expected to withstand it because they're 'jealous'," she said, with air-quotes. "And here's Tuney, who hasn't gotten over me going to Hogwarts. So I have to deal with her yelling at me, chiding me, insulting me and my friends..." She took a deep, steadying breath. "Because she's jealous. But when can I start judging my 19-year-old sister as an adult? I just have to deal with her being 'jealous' of my magic for the rest of my life?"

Much to Lily's surprise – and chagrin – Iris broke out into a slow, indulgent grin. "Yes," Iris said, answering Lily's rhetorical question. "Because that's your lot in life. And she may be 19, but that doesn't mean that you're not the more mature one in the situation."

"Oh, great," Lily said as immaturely as she could muster.

"But more importantly," she continued slowly. "Do you really think the reason she's being so abominable today is because of your magic?" Lily shot her mom a blank expression. As far as she knew, that was the one and only sticking point of their entire relationship – and the reason they still behaved as though they weren't a day older than 11 and 15. That said, in the interest of boosting her ego, she supposed her mum might try and tell her something about her looks or her parents giving her attention (which would be lies, of course, but Lily was happy to hear them). The words that in fact came out of Iris' mouth next, however, would never have dared entered Lily's mind: "She's jealous of James."

Lily all but choked on a small bit of saliva she didn't know she was holding in the back of her throat. "James?" she repeated in abject surprise.

Iris nodded. "Of course, sweetie. The way he acts with you, setting all of this up..." Lily's brain was whirring, yet she didn't seem to be able to string words together. "You can't ever tell her I told you this, but back over the summer..." Iris paused, clearly second-guessing sharing this piece of news.

"Please tell me," Lily choked out. Ensuring that her mother knew that she and James were not actually a couple could wait.

"Oh fine," she sighed. "Only to cheer you up. But you didn't hear this from me." Lily nodded eagerly. "Tuney was feeling disappointed one day about Vernon... I think he cancelled one of their dates or something like that... and she told me that she just wanted to find a man who would look at her the way that James looked at you."

"What?" Lily spat inelegantly. When did Tuney even see me and James together? That one afternoon? Through her window or something...?

"I'm sure she'd deny it if you brought it up. Which you won't – because this conversation never happened."

Lily smiled at her mother's antics (and also how cute she was to assume that Lily ever talked to Petunia, let alone about relationships). "But mum, you know we're not dating?" Lily asked once her mind returned to some semblance of normal thinking.

"Oh, yes," Iris muttered to herself, as though she hadn't heard Lily at all. "That was the other reason I wanted to come in here. Dear, are you using protection?"

Lily felt so many emotions at once, she couldn't even keep track. Shame? Embarrassment? Indignation? Strangely feeling honoured? "You mean like condoms?" Lily asked, clarifying the obvious.

"Yes dear. Or the pill. Or maybe there's something else you lot do."

"You followed your daughter into the loo to corner her and ask if she's using condoms?" She seemed to be waiting for her mother to break character, laugh, and shout 'got you!'

"Well," she huffed. "I'll admit this wasn't my preferred venue, but you left me no choice. You also didn't answer the question," she added accusatorily.

"No!" Lily yelped.

"No?"

"No, I'm not using protection because there's nothing to protect."

Lily's mother tried very hard to stay modern and with the times, but she still had old-fashioned values buried deeply in her heart; Lily could clearly register her face relaxing (even if only microscopically). "Nothing?"

"Nothing," Lily groaned. "Never has been. Not likely to be in a considerable amount of time."

"Well, you say that now," Iris objected. "But boys can be quite insistent and you need to know about these things before—"

"Mum," Lily groaned again. "I'm not dating anyone. There is no one in this hypothetical picture to pressure me. It's not going to happen." She wasn't sure if it was possible to add anything else to her categorical denial.

"Lily, please, maybe you kids aren't calling it dating, which is fine, but—"

"We're not doing anything!" Lily interrupted insistently. "We're just friends."

Lily could almost feel her mother's eyes studying her every move. "Has he kissed you?"

"No," Lily answered at once. For once, she was euphoric to be able to say that truthfully.

"Never?" Iris asked, taken aback.

"Never," Lily confirmed. "Please believe me, mum. There's nothing. He's just a great friend."

Iris made a sound to show she didn't quite believe that last statement. "Well, okay, maybe you crazy kids are just taking things slow. There's nothing wrong with that, but one day soon, I fully expect that–"

"And that is a conversation for another day, mum," Lily replied. "That might be years from now. Decades, even–"

"–Oh, I don't know about that–"

"And if it ever happens, I know all about protection, okay?" she asked defensively.

Iris sighed. "Okay," she agreed. "Just remember, men sometimes want different things out of relationships than women and–"

"And I remember all about that conversation. We've had it many times." Too many times.

Iris huffed. "You're taking away my job, Lily. I have to mother you sometimes." Lily still narrowed her eyes to show her disapproval at how little she had been trusted throughout this conversation. Then, Iris gave in, raising her arms in surrender. "For what it's worth, dear, I do think James is lovely."

Lily smiled tenderly. She was just about to agree when the bathroom door opened and Petunia entered. Lily couldn't help but wonder if there was anyone left at the table at this point.

"Were you two ever coming back?" she asked rhetorically.

"I'm having a private moment with Lily, dear," Iris said tactfully.

"Well perhaps you could wrap up the private moment with Lily so that I don't have to continue my private moment with the boy she brought to tea?" she asked icily.

"Okay," Iris replied, not at all perturbed. There was a short pause, during which Lily and Iris both directed their eyes at Petunia. "Are you going to leave, so we can wrap things up?" Iris asked at last. Lily almost snorted and barely kept it together. Mentally, she gave her mum a very well-deserved high-five.

Petunia gaped. "You're kicking me out? From the ladies' room?"

"More or less," Iris agreed.

"What if I need to pee?" she objected, clearly outraged.

"We can wait," Lily suggested. She really couldn't help herself. With a shriek that Lily would recognize anywhere as belonging to Petunia and Petunia alone, she turned on her heels and left the lavatory.

"We're bad," Iris said with a devilish smile to her younger daughter. Lily smiled back in agreement. "She invited Vernon today, you know," her mum said. "He didn't want to come." Lily made a hmm sound to show she was digesting that information. While she was absolutely floored that Petunia would ever willingly place Vernon and Lily in the same room, her sullen mood was beginning to make sense. Iris took a deep breath, clearly thinking about her concluding remarks. "Are you okay, dear?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," Lily answered with a faint smile. "I'm okay. I miss you all terribly, of course, but I'm okay."

Iris nodded. "But you don't think you can come stay with us?"

"No," Lily said firmly. She shook her head. "Just – no. If something happened, and I lost you forever, I... I don't know what I would do."

"You'd be just fine."

"What?" Lily asked, not believing her ears. She was somewhat irked that her mother was willing, even conversationally, to entertain a future in which she or Eric weren't around anymore.

"I'd love to think that I'm essential for your wellbeing, but that's just not the case," her mum said with a chuckle. "The way you cope on your own all year? Your determination during the summer? Your wonderful common sense? You don't need me at all!" she reassured.

Lily crossed her arms. "I'm only barely 15," she told her mum, "I'm practically still in diapers! Of course I still need you."

"Nope," her mother deflected with a quick shake of her head. "Petunia still needs me. You've been just fine for the last two years." Lily wasn't sure what to do with this information, but she certainly didn't feel like it was true. "Now come on," Iris said with a smile. "Or Petunia's going to come back and then we'll be in real trouble."

Lily nodded and numbly followed her mum out of the loo. The way we talk about her sometimes, she thought idly. It's like she's got a gun in the next room.

Once back at the table, the rest of their time together passed quite quickly. The café was closing early for the holidays, so their waitress came over and asked that they pay. James tried to offer, but he wasn't able to figure out his limited muggle money, and the Evans parents joined him to cover the bill (which was just fine by them – they would have been beyond embarrassed if the afternoon were financed by their daughter's friend).

"Well, Happy Christmas, Tuney," Lily said, filling the awkward silence.

"Happy Christmas," she replied back with a sigh. But then: "I miss you."

Lily wasn't sure if that response was authentic, or offered on autopilot. But, possibly on account of her rollercoaster of emotions and exhaustion, she decided to check. "Do you really?"

Petunia was clearly taken aback. "Of course I do," she replied insistently. "You're my sister."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you enjoy having me around," Lily pointed out. Petunia had almost said as much on numerous occasions.

Her sister sighed heavily. "I enjoy having you around," she said, as though Lily were literally forcing it out of her. "Even if you drive me crazy," she added quickly. "It's not Christmas if you're not home."

Lily almost felt a tear, but blinked it back very quickly. "I miss you so much," she assured her sister as neutrally as she could muster (though whether or not she missed her sister in her current form or the one she had grown up with was left unsaid). Then, somewhat capriciously, she gave her sister a quick hug – one that Petunia half-reciprocated. "I hope you have a lovely Christmas with Vernon," Lily said earnestly. "We'll see each other next year." Lily hoped that last sentiment was accurate.

And with that – and, of course, a few more sloppy hugs and kisses with her parents – they were off.

Lily's head was a complete mess as she and James returned to the castle. She was sad, homesick, euphoric, loved, confident, confused. "Did you have a good time?" James asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Of course." She reached out, slid her arm around his back, and leaned her head against his upper arm.

"You sure? I'm not entirely convinced that you didn't spend more time away from the table than at it."

Lily smiled. As much as she had missed her family before, she found herself feeling oddly relieved to leave them behind and return to her private time with James – it was far less tense and, moreover, simply easier. "Yes, it's a shame I didn't sneak off to have a clandestine meeting with you as well. Then I would have been four-for-four." They emerged in the completely-empty halls of Hogwarts and were able to continue their private conversation uninterrupted.

"Isn't that what we're doing right now? Or, for that matter, every other day?" Lily chuckled and agreed. "So, any new information? Any juicy gossip?" She turned her head to give him an inquisitive look. "From your clandestine conversations," he reminded her.

"Oh." Everyone thinks we're dating. My sister's jealous of our relationship. My mum suspects we're shagging. "Nothing much. The usual."

"Drat," James said with fake disappointment.

"Thanks for setting that up. And thanks for staying here with me."

"Both were givens, you know. As if I was going to let you spend Christmas alone in a giant castle."

"Yes, I see that now," she assured him, wondering in amazement how she ever thought her Christmas plans might go unnoticed. "But thanks all the same."

"Don't mention it, Pidg."