Chapter Sixty Nine:

Ichigo trained with the Visored for the rest of the day, they took it in turns so they didn't burn out their energy reserves and he just continued like the unstoppable force he always was. By the time he'd managed to disarm Shinji in their third bout together he was sweating profusely, with more than a few grim bruises and scrapes making themselves known. His regenerative abilities helped a little, lessening the blood loss and the sting, but the wounds remained open.

It had come as something of a surprise, when fighting the abstract group of former Goeti Thirteen elites, to discover each of them was relatively limited in the length of time they could keep their own Hollow masks in place. He was surprised as well by how different each mask was, in shape, size, design. He wondered if they somehow reflected the personality of the Shinigami, or maybe their Inner Hollow.

His own control over his Hollow mask was intermittent. When he was focused he could maintain it for well over half an hour, when distracted it was less than five minutes.

With the exception of Hachigen and Shinji, he was treated with caution and a little bit of lingering reservation. Despite their lengthy discussion the night before, he couldn't blame them for keeping him at arm's length. They'd been hiding from Aizen for decades, it was natural that they'd be worried to get involved with one of his former subordinates. He really didn't blame them, but despite their carefulness he felt strangely at home within their little group. Uncertain if it was because they were part Hollow, or simply because they too had been experimented on by Aizen, he couldn't entirely put a finger on what made him so comfortable.

Despite the short length of time they'd known each other, Ichigo felt like he got on with Shinji better than the others. There was something about the man's sly wit and not so subtle innuendos that felt familiar and relaxing. Not that it gave him any benefits when training against the man, Shinji was a machine. Hard hitting, fast, relentless. It wasn't hard to see the lingering remnants of a former Taichou behind eyes that hid more anger and pain than he let on.

Letting out a long breath, Ichigo glanced to the side, "Thanks again for this Hachi."

"You are more than welcome, Kurosaki-san. Please sit still a little longer, I am almost done." The rotund man smiled warmly, hands raised as he enforced the orange healing Kidō around Ichigo's body.

Sitting silently as he waited for the man to conclude his work, he found himself thinking about the Visored masks again.

Hachi's was like a demon mask, with tusks and protrusions coming out from the top, there were a row of feathery looking spikes that made it looks like some kind of headdress. Love's looked like a traditional Oni mask, taking the form of some supernatural looking ogre or troll, just like what was described in most traditional Japanese folklore. Mashiro was an interesting case, able to maintain her mask for up to fifteen hours by all accounts, had a mask that seemed similar to a hornet or a bee and the high pitch trills she tended to make when fighting just made her seem even more bug like in Ichigo's opinion.

Tilting his head to the side as he considered the other's, he recalled that Kensei's mask was very straight laced, much like the man himself, it looked like a simple flat face guard. Rose's mask was bird like, it reminded Ichigo of the old medieval plague doctor's attire. Hiyori's mask was rough like her attitude, with a prominent horn in the centre of the forehead, unique diamond shaped markings looked like eyebrows amidst the very skeletal appearance, apparently the mask's power increased with her anger. Lisa's mask was diamanté shaped with a cross like opening instead of a mouth and eye slits, it was simplistic but unique in Ichigo's opinion. Shinji's mask had interested him the most from it's appearance, strongly resembling an Egyptian pharaoh's mask, even complete with a short flowing hood over the back of his head and neck.

The thing that confused him was his own mask's appearance. Unlike any of the Visored, his mask had retained the blackness that had come from Shiro's time as an Espada, the only whiteness on it was the rolling tear markings. None of them had been able to work out why the mask hadn't turned white now he was in control, nor could any of them recall a time when they had seen a Hollow with a black mask as opposed to white. It appeared, just like with everything else, his mask was unique.

"My, my someone's deep in though, eh?"

Ichigo looked around as he heard the voice of the de-facto Visored leader, and blinked upon realising that Hachi had long finished healing him and had apparently disappeared, "Shit on my mind." He muttered as he got to his feet.

"An airhead like you? I can't believe it." The blond mocked.

He rolled his eyes and looked around, "Where is everyone?"

"Tessai's been cooking, they've all gone for food." Shinji leaned against a nearby boulder as he appraised the strawberry, "Ya got a minute, before you head up?"

"Sure. What's up?" He adjusted his shihakusho and sash as he checked himself over, Hachi's talents were truly amazing.

"The others... We've been through a lot because of Aizen. Some more than others. But you've had it even harder." There was a serious edge to his voice, "It must be tough, having gone from Aizen's favourite to the hero everyone expects to stop him. You act carefree, like it's nothing. But how true is that?"

Ichigo stared at him for a moment, mimicking his stance with the addition of folding his arms, "You're worried about me? Don't be."

"Worried about you? Don't be stupid. I know you're physically strong enough to take him on, once you've trained a bit more. I'm talking about what's going on in that head of yours." Shinji took a breath and sighed, "It takes more than a budding new relationship to hide the scars from the old one."

"Look... If you think I'm gonna freeze on the battle field because of memories of a few fun encounters in the past, then you're way off the mark. My skin crawls at the mere memory of his touch. It's not going to be a problem." He didn't mean for his voice to come out so sharply, and he clicked his tongue in frustration, "I know you mean well... But I'm fine."

Pushing away from the rock face, Ichigo moved past Shinji in hopes of getting a decent portion of Tessai's cooking. He hadn't eaten since that morning and his gut was finally punishing him for it.

"Never sleep in his bed. And never fuck someone else while he is interested in you." Shinji's voice cut through Ichigo like a knife.

Spinning on the spot to stare at the blond, Ichigo frowned deeply, "I... I didn't tell you that last night." He said dumbly.

"I know." A sympathetic smile, "Aizen's rules really don't change much, huh."

"How did you..." He trailed off in disbelief at the only reason that made sense.

"I told ya, Ichigo. The Visored went through a lot of shit thanks to that man, some of us more than others." Shinji seemed relaxed but his shoulders were tight, "He was my Fukutaichou for a long time, but unlike everyone else I was not entirely blind to what he really was."

"He always said he loathed you... Everything about you. Your attitude, your unwillingness to open up to him, the fact that you were always over cautious. He hated the fact that out of everyone you had an inkling."

"Mm. The feeling was entirely mutual." There was a sharp puff, "I made the mistake of placing a bet with him, one which was bound with Kidō and therefore impossible to back out of. It was foolish, blind, idiotic."

"What was the bet?" Ichigo found himself asking, despite not being sure he wanted to know.

With a reluctant chuckle, Shinji brushed his fingers through his hair, "A sparring session, winner takes all. Winner gets to request anything of the loser. I had planned on requesting him to reveal something, anything about himself that might explain the feeling of uncertainty I got whenever he was around but... He had long hidden his true strength from me."

"He won the fight, and the bet." The sunrise haired Shinigami realised.

"Correct. Perhaps ya ain't a complete airhead after all." It was a half hearted jibe as the Visored clicked his tongue, "You know what he's like, I'm sure ya can guess what he asked for."

"I... I'm not sure. I mean he said he hated your guts..."

"He wanted to see me weak, pathetic and utterly undone at his hands." The venom in his voice took Ichigo by surprise, "I wish I could say it was just that one time, that the bet was completed and never spoken of again. But..."

"He made you want it more." He said quietly, meeting Shinji's gaze awkwardly, "In his own sick way he made you feel special, important... Wanted. And you got addicted to the feeling. Addicted to him. Like you couldn't function without it. Without him. Without that... Feeling."

"I see you understand better than I originally expected." Shinji's voice had returned to its normal carefree tones, "That's why I'm warning ya, Ichigo... When it comes to that battle, when it comes to the moment you face him. He will use every trick, every manipulation and every memory you have of him to make you pause. Just one second of hesitation and it will be over. He can smell weakness like a dog smells a bone. But it won't just be you he's targetting... It'll be your Hollow too."

Ichigo gulped involuntarily at his words, his body slumping a little as he glared at the ground, "How do I stop him getting in my head? For the longest time he was the only person in there at all... He has all the keys to all the locks and... What if my anger isn't enough to stop him?"

"I wish I could give ya the answers you need, kid. I didn't manage to kick him out of my head until it was too late, and my friends had fallen at my feet... Dying because of him... Hollowfied because of him... And because I hadn't been able to see beyond the mask he wears."

"Do the others know? About you two?" He asked.

"The bare minimum. Enough for them to understand why I'd kill him with my bare hands, but not enough for them to hate me."

"And Urahara-san?"

"Who knows what that man is aware of." Shinji shrugged and slowly broke into a smile, "Look, Ichigo. I may not know shit about stopping him from getting what he wants, but I do know that you have a lot of allies. Maybe, if you lean on them when you need them the most and let them see for you... You'll do better than I did."

"Do I get to count you among that number?"

Chuckling to himself as he tugged his flat cap on, the Visored shrugged, "Kid, I liked ya the moment you walked up to me and asked who the fuck I was. You've got balls. But, if you want a real answer to that question... Stop Aizen, and I'll follow you wherever you fucking go."

Ichigo smiled sheepishly and scratched his head, "Well... I've never been one to shy away when I want to know something. As for Aizen..." He looked away thoughtfully, "I'm gonna give it everything I've got."

"That's good enough for me." Shinji clapped him on the shoulder, "Come on, let's go and eat. Before Hiyori finishes it off."

The last of the weighty atmosphere vanished with that and Ichigo laughed as he hurried after him, scrambling up the ladder eagerly as his stomach grumbled loudly at the thought of food.


After eating, the Visored once again left Urahara's store and exhausted from his training Ichigo retired to his room early. He half collapsed onto the futon and considered everything that had happened over the day. It had been enjoyable. First his sparring match with Byakuya, and then the intense work of learning to use his mask.

His conversation is Shinji stuck in his head like a broken record. The realisation that he hadn't been Aizen's first and only victim, the realisation that he hadn't been the only man manipulated sexually and physically by him. It was sickening. Aizen was sickening.

"Yer tellin' me." It was the first time Shiro had properly spoken since surrendering control, it took Ichigo by surprise, as did the grim tone of his Hollow's voice.

However, Ichigo was saved the trouble of replying as he heard the door open, he looked around and his smile warmed as he saw Byakuya lingering in the doorway once again. Their eyes met and an unspoken permission passed between them as the nobleman entered and locked the door behind him.

"I thought you would be sleeping, you had a busy day." Byakuya stated as he sat down beside the strawberry.

"Believe me, I feel like I could sleep for a week but..." He trailed off and pulled a face.

"Things on your mind?"

"Yeah." He chuckled, rubbing his neck thoughtfully, "And then Shiro finally broke his silence. He didn't say much, but it's a start!"

"I'm glad to hear it." There was a small smile.

"Are you alright after our fight today? Not too many bruises I hope." He flashed a cheeky grin.

The Kuchiki heir snorted, "Please, you barely actually touched me. You spent all your time trying to prove you could... Ah, you mean my pride. No bruises there, only satisfaction at your growing capabilities."

Ichigo flushed across his nose and cheeks, "Thank you. I wondered whether I should... You know? Go as far as I did but then I realised... You were going all out. Renji told me once that your Bankai increases in speed when you control it with your hands. I'm honoured that you went so far for me."

"Honoured?" Byakuya raised an eyebrow questioningly, "Ichigo... I am the one who is honoured. To witness your growth. Your strength. To have the opportunity to continue guiding you as best I can. When I think about how far you've come... Everything you've been through and everything you've done to keep fighting... How can I be anything other than proud and honoured?"

Fidgeting, the strawberry released a small chuckle before he rolled onto his knees and shuffled as close as he could, cupping the nobleman's face in his hands as he leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss on his mouth. He could still taste the faint scent of jasmine tea lingering on his lips. They were soft. Like petal blossoms.

He felt Byakuya's arms encircle him, pulling him closer, pulling him into his lap. The small moan that left his lips at their sudden closeness, his hands down the nobleman's neck and around his shoulders. His fingers dug into the satin soft material of the other man's shihakusho as he clung to him, the first warm dregs of arousal fuzzing around the edges of his awareness.

His feelings seemed to be reciprocated as he felt the world shift, his back landing softly on the futon as Byakuya hovered above him. Ichigo groaned, his fiancé's teeth traced his cheek and jaw teasing as Ichigo bit his lip and purred in response as his eyes fluttered closed. A stuttering gasp escaped him as the nobleman's lips descended down his chin and throat.

A sudden panicked cry burst free as those lips touched his scar, Ichigo's eyes flying wide as his body flooded with an icy chill he couldn't explain. He scuttled back, fleeing Byakuya's embrace to the safety of the room's corner. A sweat had broken out across his skin as his hands flew to his throat, nails digging in around the scar that lingered.

"I-Ichigo?!" The nobleman looked just as stunned as he immediately tried to move closer to comfort him.

The strawberry threw up a hand, trying to silently beg him to stay back. He could barely speak, he knew he couldn't handle his lover coming near him at the moment. The choking feeling of his entire world suffocating him was too much. Too soon. Too frightening. He couldn't breathe.

The door flew open at that moment, the lock shattering beneath the force of Urahara's bare foot as the blond half flew into the room. Ichigo had barely realised that once again his reiatsu was shaking the very walls of the man's home.

"What the-" Urahara's eyes moved from Byakuya to Ichigo, "What's going on in here?"

Ichigo flinched, teeth clenched as his hands fell from his throat and instead wrapped around himself as he tried to hold in the bitterly sickened feeling in the pit of his stomach as he forced his reiatsu back under his control, a shaky breath escaping him as the walls stopped shaking. His head was hung low, he couldn't bare their looks of pity.

"I... I'm sorry..." He said, his voice sounded so quite and breathless, like each word was a gasp for life giving air.

"Ichigo..." Byakuya had slowly risen to his feet, "It's not... It's not your fault..."

His teeth were biting together so hard he could hear them grating, his body quivered as for the briefest of moments he saw emerald green eyes full of loathing and malice. That harsh, violent touch. Teeth sinking into his shoulder, rending flesh and muscle from bone. The cold sting of Murciélago biting into his throat.

"Kurosaki-san?" Urahara's voice was gentle as he walked further into the room, resting a hand on Byakuya's shoulder before he cautiously edged closer.

"I... I should... I should have..."

Why was it so hard to string a sentence together?!

"Kurosaki-san, listen to me. Whatever you've seen, whatever you've felt... You are safe within these walls. No one can harm you here." The blond slowly crouched down in front of the strawberry, shocked by how much heat was radiated from his body, "Please look at me, Kurosaki-san. Let us put to bed what haunts you."

"N-No... I can't... I can't..." He gulped.

"Why not, Kurosaki-san? It is just myself and Byakuya-san here. You have no need be afraid."

He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as chest tightened and he felt the sting of tears rising, "I should... I... I should have... Killed him..."

"Killed who?" The blond blinked in surprise.

There mere thought of his name tasted like poison dripping down the back of his throat, the scar burning white hot as if awakened by the mere memory of its' creator. He flinched as he felt Urahara's touch, a hand on his shoulder seemingly oozed comfort.

"You don't mean..." Byakuya's voice was strangled.

"Ulquiorra." He spat with venom, "I should have killed him! I should have been able to... But instead... And then when Shiro rose in my place he could have easily done it. He could have torn him apart... With his bare hands... Limb from limb... But he didn't. Because of me... Because I asked..."

"Kurosaki-san look at me." Urahara's voice was firmer, more direct.

"... I asked him to make it painful... Told him to drag it out... To make him suffer... Why didn't I ask him to just... Why did I let him live?! Every second he continues breathing... It's an insult! I should have..."

"Ichigo!"

Gaze snapping up suddenly, he was certain it was the first time he had ever heard Kisuke Urahara raise his voice at anyone. It had the necessary effect and the strawberry's mouth fell open in surprise as he stopped shaking.

"That's better." The blond's tone was soft again as he offered an apologetic smile, "Listen to me, whether you allowed him to live or not, what Ulquiorra Cifer did to you won't easily be forgotten. In life, or in death, it will haunt you regardless. The only person who can master that fear now, is you, Kurosaki-san."

His cheeks reddened with embarrassment as he slumped, hands hitting the floor as he fell forwards and let out a long breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, "Fuck..."

"Try to take comfort in the knowledge that you are stronger than you were back then. Even if by some miracle he reached you, you would be able to bat him aside with a single flick of your finger." The former Taichou rested his hand on top of Ichigo's head, "Maybe he should have died for what he did to you, maybe whatever existence he has been left with is punishment enough. No one can truly say."

"I'm so sorry." Ichigo whispered, lifting his head slowly as he peered over at Byakuya, "I'm so... So sorry..."

"I never want to hear you apologising for something you cannot control." Byakuya's voice was firm but not unkind, there was a reluctant sadness in his expression.

"I'll give you both some space... I'll fix the lock in the morning." Urahara got to his feet and smiled comfortingly at both men before retreating from the room.

There was a moment of awkward and disjointed hesitation between them before Ichigo shot across the room and threw his arms around Byakuya's shoulders, face buried in the man's chest. The nobleman's arms were immediately coiled around him in return, holding him as close as was physically possible.

"Ichigo, please listen to me and believe me when I say this." Byakuya's voice was soft against his ear, "I do not blame you. I do not expect you to be unmarked by your experience. But above all I do not expect you to put yourself in a position which will make you uncomfortable. Do you... Understand?"

"Think so." He mumbled glumly.

"Then let me be clear. Beyond what I know to be safely within your comfort zone, such as kissing and laying together, I will do no more than that until you are entirely confident that you are ready. I know, as you do, this is not a matter of trust. It is a matter of your own comfort within your own mind. And I am willing to be as patient as you need."

"Thank you." Ichigo swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut, "I feel like a fool..."

"You are not a fool, you have never been a fool. You and your reactions are entirely normal given the trauma you went through. Try not to think too badly of yourself."

"You're stupidly understanding sometimes." He pulled away slowly and looked down, pouting faintly, "Thanks."

"I love you Ichigo, and I will be here with you no matter what."

"I love you too Byakuya."

Ichigo hissed as a spike of cold hard pain shot through the back of his skull like a lightning rod, sending him to his knees without warning. His eyes widening as the world turned upside down and he was swallowed whole by the last lingering cradle of Shiro's memories as an Espada.


Ichigo's eyes opened with a start and he found himself staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure how much time had passed but his body felt stiff and heavy. With a jolt he recalled the reason for his faint and sat up sharply, letting out a grunt of discomfort at the dull ache in his muscles.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime's voice was the one that reached him first between the exclamations from various different people, only because she was closest to him.

He glanced around, seeing Renji and Rukia on his left hand side while Orihime, Byakuya and Urahara sat on his right. He blinked a few times, noticing Yoruichi, Tessai and Ishida near the back of the room.

"Shit." He muttered.

"Are you alright?" Byakuya's concern reached him.

"Yeah... Sorry... Must have frightened the shit out of you." He blinked away the last remnants of sleep and swallowed hard, "I... Got hit by the last of Shiro's memories and must have passed out from the overload. But, listen that's not what's important!"

"Of course it's important, idiot!" Rukia snapped.

"Listen to me!" He barked back, "Aizen told Shiro his plans!"

Silence followed for a moment before Yoruichi stepped forwards, "Plans? Beyond taking over Hueco Mundo?"

"Oh his plans are vastly larger than that." The strawberry breathed, "He's subjugated the Hōgyoku, merged with it. With its power he plans to... Gain entrance to the dimension where the Soul King lives. He's going to make an Ōken."

"How would he even know how to do that..." Byakuya asked, glancing at Urahara and Yoruichi, "Is it even possible?"

"It is." Urahara replied, rubbing his chin.

"He's going to use Karakura town." Ichigo stated.

"He had a wealth of time to learn from the Archives, to find information on how to create the Ōken..." The blond Shinigami sighed deeply, folding his arms in an uncharacteristic display of stress, "It is important we get this news to Kyōraku as soon as possible."

"Do you have any idea how long it will be before he makes his move, Ichigo?" Byakuya asked, tilting his head.

"Three months... No, that was when he told Shiro about it." Ichigo shook his head, clearing his thoughts before he released a reluctant groan of, "A month."

"A month?!" Renji exclaimed, "We can't sit around and do nothing then... We've barely three weeks to arrange counter measures!"

"Renji is right." Byakuya agreed, touching his fingers to his lips in thought, "The Senkaimon have not yet been reopened. We have no chance of reaching Soul Society that way."

Urahara released a long sigh, "While the entire 'grid' is in lock down I can't open my own personal one for you. Undoubtedly Kurotsuchi will have worked out a way to block signals from any Garganta that have previously been opened, so that is also out of the question."

"Fuck." Renji hissed, rubbing his face in thought.

Ichigo glanced between them, their individual concern was easy to see. The news he'd brought was possibly the worst possible. Even while they knew Aizen's plans... As long as they couldn't warn the rest of Soul Society it was as useful as chopsticks in a soup bowl.

There had to be a way. There had to be. It was right in front of him, he knew it! But... What?!

His eyes widened in realisation and before he knew it he was on his feet, "Urahara-san! You said Kurotsuchi Taichou would most likely have blocked pre-existing Garganta, right?"

"Yes, Kurosaki-san."

"Then what about an entirely new one?" His lips stretched into a wide grin as he pointed at himself.

The blond was staring at him, eyes narrowed in thought, "Mm..."

"Do you actually know how to open one of those things?" The Division Six Fukutaichou questioned sceptically.

"Yeah... I do, or... Shiro does." The strawberry said simply, looking back at Urahara, "What do you say?"

"It could work, Kurosaki-san. But your concentration will need to be impeccable if you are to reach Soul Society."

"Urahara-san," Ichigo's expression turned serious in a heartbeat, "Karakura town is in danger. The lives of my friends are in danger. I don't need any better focus than that! I can do this!"