Chapter Seventy Three:

Two weeks passed quickly in the wake of returning to Seireitei. During that time Byakuya kept his word and helped submit a formal request to have the Shiba Clan reinstated to their rightful position as one of the Great Noble Families. Ichigo underwent the official ceremonial proceedings to be recognised as the Clan Head, under the watchful eyes of the few remaining Shiba Elders and Kūkaku, he gained a final set of coiling tattoos on his hips for his trouble.

It seemed promising that the Clan would be reinstated after the war with Aizen was concluded, and Ichigo had taken the time to explore the Shiba Estate with Byakuya. It had been closed up, left to dust mites, spiders and rot. But it was nothing that couldn't be repaired with enough time and effort. For the young Kurosaki, it was a project. Something he could sink his teeth into whenever he felt like getting his hands dirty. It was a good stress relief, throwing out old furniture, cleaning from ceiling to floor. It helped keep his mind away from tremulous memories that refused to die.

Around the same time, Byakuya's application to make Renji a Taichou was accepted by Kyōraku. Under the scrutiny of the current Sou-Taichou, Byakuya who had recommended him, as well as Unohana and Hitsugaya the redhead was assessed for his suitability. From what Renji told him afterwards, the Test had gone as well as he could have hoped. His Bankai was met with positive judgement by everyone present and his commitment to his friends and subordinates was highly received.

Just a day later Renji was 'unofficially' promoted to the rank of Taichou. It would only be officiated after the war with Aizen came to an end, he would be allowed to wear a haori and he would be allowed to take command but the traditional ceremony to appoint him would have to wait. The day after his promotion Renji left Division Six for the last time and moved to take command of Division Nine.

Ichigo couldn't have been prouder of his friend, amazed by his growth both in terms of power and confidence. And while he was sad to see his friend leave Division Six, as what Byakuya by the time it came for Renji to say goodbye, his own promotion to Fukutaichou gave him more than enough work to take his mind off the loss of the boisterous redhead. Not to mention the vibrant drinking session in Rukongai to celebrate. Everything had been fine until Matsumoto had introduced shots. Again.

In between learning his new duties, filing paperwork that Renji had never gotten around to finishing, balancing his relationship with Byakuya as well as his social life with his friends, and working to clean out the Shiba Estate, Ichigo was training harder than ever to ensure he was ready for the oncoming war. He'd taken to training alone after an accident in the training ring had almost left Byakuya and Rukia severely injured. His power had flowed out, his mask in place, his strength increased tenfold. The guilt had rendered him incapable of training with anyone. He didn't want to risk hurting the people he loved.

At the same time, Ichigo found his sleep almost constantly disturbed. If it wasn't the memory of Ulquiorra's attack, it was vague and foggy memories of Shiro's time as an Espada. Little bits of information that hadn't seemed important at the time, but now rose to the surface listlessly.

Even brief discussions with Zangetsu revealed nothing, the Zanpakutō was none the wiser as to why his sleep was being disturbed so regularly. It was natural to remember the pain of the attack, but surely not as often as it was happening... And as for Shiro's memories too, it was a jumbled mess of useless background text more than anything else.

Ichigo sighed deeply, drawn from his thoughts by the feeling of a hand on his shoulder, the strawberry looked around and smiled as he came face to face with his fiancé. They were in Byakuya's office in Division Six, with a muttered apology Ichigo recalled that they'd been talking about Urahara's most recent plans to protect Karakura town.

"Are you alright?" The Kuchiki heir tilted his head to the side, "It's unlike you to zone out like that. Especially when Karakura is concerned."

"I'm fine, sorry to worry you." He chuckled softly and offered a smile, "Just thinking."

"It's quite alright, I just wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours sometimes... That way I could help."

Ichigo snorted softly, "I think you'd regret it." He clicked his tongue at the faintly insistent expression on the other's face, "I'm just thinking about how much has changed recently. The Shiba Estate being opened, Renji leaving, my promotion... It's a lot."

"It's understandable to be overwhelmed at times." Byakuya's expression softened again as he pulled the sunrise haired Shinigami in close and pressed a sweet kiss on his forehead, "You can talk to me, about anything. I never want you to think you have to keep it to yourself because you are concerned that I will react poorly."

"I don't think that at all... I know I can talk to you, sometimes I just want to sift through it myself though." He couldn't help but melt against him and released a small sound from the back of his throat, "Actually... Now I think about it I do have a question for you but it's kind of... Awkward."

"You can ask me anything." The raven haired Taichou moved away and perched on the edge of his immaculately kept desk, "What's wrong?"

"Last night, one of the memories I dreamt about, from Shiro's time in control..." He folded his arms restlessly and leaned against the windowsill, "He was talking to Aizen about the fact you and I are capable of having a child because of our noble blood... Reiatsu... Whatever it is..."

"I see. That does seem a strange conversation for them to share."

"Yeah... Not as strange as Aizen's answer." Ichigo turned his eyes towards the ceiling restlessly as he nibbled his bottom lip, "He told Shiro... I mean Aizen said... I'm not sure why this is so weird to say out loud but... Aizen said he was also nobility, lesser than the Shiba Clan or the Kuchiki Clan but nobility nonetheless. Almost like he was making the point that if it was what Shiro wanted... He could make it happen."

Byakuya's face had turned to stone, a look of shock scrawled where there was usually careful containment, "Aizen offered Shiro the chance to have a child?"

"I guess so. He made the point that Shiro was inhabiting a body that belonged to a noble... Mine of course. Shiro was kind of taken aback too... But he rationalised it away as meaning nothing because neither of them are exactly... What did he say... Domesticated." He shrugged but then sighed, "My point was that... Aizen asked Shiro how. How did it work? You know... How would we..."

"Have a child?"

"Yeah. I mean, after the whole thing with Norio and the Elders... The engagement and the drama that followed, I kind of forgot about the whole childbearing thing. We never really talked about it, what with everything happening so fast." The strawberry paused and finally met Byakuya's gaze again, albeit shyly, "So... I'm curious. How would we... Have a child?"

The Kuchiki heir paused for a long moment, releasing the smallest of hums before he finally spoke, "There are two ways, depending on the occupation of the two Souls involved. Usually, if at least one potential parent is a non-combatant then at the time when a child is desired both parents will create a meld of their reiatsu, like a ball or artificial womb and place it within the non-combatant parent. With the one time application of reiatsu and the act of sex to seal the 'ritual', a foetus is created by the merged reiatsu of both parents and will grow naturally as it would within a woman's body."

Ichigo blinked once. Twice. A third time.

"So... We'd make a fake womb and put it inside one of us... Right... Totally normal... Totally fine..." He let out a long breath, "I'm getting my head around it slowly. Okay. What's the other way?"

Laughing under his breath at his lover's bemusement, the nobleman let out a small sigh, "If both potential parents are combatants the same ritual would be followed, but instead of the false womb remaining within the body of the carrying parent it would be taken out and placed into an incubator for the length of the pregnancy."

"Oh, I see..." Ichigo scratched his cheek thoughtfully, "I guess it does make sense in a way. You're always saying noble's have higher reserves of reiatsu, I suppose it is ideal for that kind of conception."

"True enough." Byakuya pushed himself up and approached the strawberry haired Shinigami, resting his hands either side of him on the windowsill, pinning him in place, "Might I add, that to be even remotely capable of having a child both parents must be entirely able to control their reiatsu perfectly."

"Well obviously... Wait..." His eyes widened suddenly and he released a small gasp, "When we got engaged I couldn't control mine at all... But... I mean... You knew that and you still..."

"Yes." The nobleman's expression turned sweet, warm, "Despite knowing you could not control your reiatsu I agreed to marry you, even while knowing in your current state you'd be unable to perform the ritual to bare a child."

Ichigo's face flushed as his heart swelled and he found himself clasping his lover's face between his hands as he broke into a hot kiss. The feeling of Byakuya's arms around him made him whine with desire. He never seemed to be able to get enough of the Kuchiki heir. He was like a drug. A wholesome, harmless, addictive drug that he couldn't give up. He didn't want to give up.

It seemed the feeling was mutual as he felt his legs lifted and his body turned towards the desk. Precisely placed trays and ink holders were sent flying by Byakuya's sweeping reach as he shoved Ichigo's body down roughly on the wood. They were both flushed, both taken away with need. The strawberry made some muted attempt at mentioning the door was unlocked, but it was silenced by nimble fingers wrapping around his already blooming erection.

'Fuck it...' he thought with a smirk, 'People know how to knock.'


Later that day, the strawberry looked across the training ring towards the practice dummies he'd set out. With his sword now slung casually over his shoulder, he felt an underwhelming surge of disappointment at the sorry state of straw strewn haphazardly across the sand. It was probably the only thing he missed about Hueco Mundo: the fights.

While he no longer relied on combat to awaken his emotions, he still felt the draw towards the more violent enjoyment of tearing down an enemy's defences. There was one issue he now found himself constantly aware of, and that was the fact he was vastly too strong to properly train with anyone except Zangetsu or Shiro without having to hold back an awful lot. If he thought he'd held back all his life before hand, he knew more than ever that he was now.

"My goodness, what did those dummies do to you?" Rukia's voice came from behind him.

Ichigo turned on the spot and smiled at her, "They insulted my pride." He answered jokingly.

"I think you're spending too much time with Nii-sama." She laughed, walking over slowly, "You look bored."

"I guess I just have a lot of surplus energy." He shrugged, reaching out and playfully ruffling her hair, "What about you? What are you doing over here, Kuchiki Fukutaichou?"

Rukia rolled her eyes, "Stop calling me that, Ukitake Taichou hasn't confirmed anything yet."

"He will though." Ichigo said certainly, "He'd be a fool to overlook your talents."

A soft flush covered her cheeks and she rubbed the back of her neck, "Thanks."

"So, come on, what are you doing all the way over here when you could be happily tucked up in bed with the new Division Nine Taichou?"

"Ugh you are infuriating." She snarled, folding her arms with a scowl, "I actually came over to see how you are doing. Nii-sama mentioned you've not been sleeping properly."

"Oh did he now." He rolled his eyes, "I'm fine. Just some... post-trauma memories. It'll pass."

The small woman stared up at him, "Are you sure? You've... You've been through a lot, in a very short space of time. No one would blame you for..."

"Snapping?" He raised an eyebrow, "I'm not breaking, Rukia. I'm not losing it or going crazy. I'm fine. I'll be a lot better once this war is over and Aizen is dealt with. Then I will be able to relax."

She held her hands up, "Hey, I'm not saying you're going crazy, Ichigo. Weirdly, I think you're one of the most level headed people I know. But everyone is allowed to struggle. Just... Don't bottle it up."

Sighing, the strawberry forced the scowl away, smiling faintly instead, "I promise, if I need to talk to someone I will. For now, I just think it's the pressure of the impending battle. I want it over wit."

"We all do." Rukia breathed, frowning as she looked away.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"It... It's probably nothing..." She rubbed her arm self consciously, "It's just... This time it's going to be for real isn't it?"

Tilting his head slightly, Ichigo considered her words, "What do you mean: for real?"

"The last time I properly saw Aizen was on Sôkyoku Hill and he was toying with us. He wasn't showing his full strength, he wasn't trying to crush us at all... He was messing around. But this time... This time it will be for real, he'll be fighting properly. And... The idea of that terrifies me." She whispered, voice cracking, "I'm not scared for myself... I'll handle whatever comes my way but..."

His expression softened suddenly as he realised the problem, "Your brother, your lover, and your friend are all seated officers in a war where those ranks will be expected to go all out to defeat the enemy. You're... Scared for us?"

"Yeah." She admitted sheepishly.

Ichigo felt his heart throb painfully at the expression on her face, he shared her concerns of course, they would all be fighting at full strength, all fighting to defeat their opponent. He had a lot more to lose than he used to.

"Rukia." He said firmly, tilting his head back as he spoke, looking down at her sternly.

"Y-Yes?" Her eyes widened.

"Whether I run the risk of sounding like Byakuya again..." He took a breath, "I swear on my pride I'll make sure Renji and your brother get through this war. You won't be left alone."

"You... Really mean that, don't you?"

"Of course I do." He raised an eyebrow, "It took a while for it to sink in... But Gin was right. I'm the only one who hasn't seen his Shikai, which means I'm the only one who can fight him at full strength and know I'm attacking the right person. Aizen is my responsibility."

Rukia stared up at him, reaching out and grasping one of his hands in both of hers, "Make sure you come back unharmed too. If you sacrifice yourself to end him... I'll never forgive you."

Closing his eyes at her words, the strawberry released a small sigh, "I... I am not in the habit of making promises I might not be able to keep."

"Ichigo..." Her body stiffened in concern and she gawped up at him, teeth clenched.

Whatever she might have planned to say was silenced by the sound of sliding doors that came from above them, both Shinigami looked skywards in confusion, eyes widening in unison as they watched an unregistered Senkaimon appear, shōji doors sliding open to reveal the pure white light that came from beyond.

"What the..." The strawberry breathed, squinting as he saw a solitary figure emerging from the illumination, "Who the hell is that?"

Ichigo felt a tingle creeping up around his awareness and he suddenly shot upwards, Zangetsu tumbling from his grasp and into the sand, he used the nearby bath house roof to propel himself higher, watching as the figure collapsed to their knees, only to sharply began tumbling downwards in a spiral of semi-consciousness.

The strawberry swore loudly, changing his angle just enough that he was able to snag the falling figure out of the sky, darting back down towards Rukia, his face paled significantly as he came to realise who he was holding in his arms.

Wiry, tall and dubiously strong beneath the ruffles of scarlet stained white material covering his body, that characteristic smile was long gone and replaced with a feverish frown beneath tattered locks of silver hair.

"G-Gin." He whispered, laying the man down on the sand as he began assessing his injuries, the most significant of which was the deep abdominal wound which seemed to have been caused by a thankfully sharp blade, and the deep gouges to his eyes which had surely rendered him blind, "R-Rukia... Send for Unohana! Now!"

He heard her retreat swiftly, footsteps rushed as she undoubtedly tried to find a Hell Butterfly to send to the Division Four Taichou. Ichigo stared down at the silver haired fox, his hands shaking slightly as he cupped his face, trying to judge just how aware of his surroundings the man was.

"N-Ne... Ichi-Berry... Ya sound pretty worried..."

He could have cried from the relief of hearing that infuriating nickname, but Ichigo swallowed it back, "You bastard... You gave me a scare. Who the hell told you that you could fly?"

"Heh... Sorry about that... Was in a rush..." The man's voice was croaky and Ichigo could see that his lips were cracked and bloodied.

"What are you doing here? How did you even... Get away... The last thing I saw..."

Gin let out a groan of pain, fingers clenching at the wound in his gut, "It's... A long story... Not sure how long I got to tell it..."

"Don't be ridiculous, you're going to be fine. Rukia has gone to find Unohana, we'll get you patched up in no time." He muttered.

"A-Aizen was furious." Came the shuddered breath, "More so... Than I've ever seen... He killed... Barragan... Killed Zommari... Killed... Nnoitra's Fracción and Harribel's Fracción..."

Ichigo swallowed hard, he could feel Shiro crying out in dismay at the news, he could feel the Hollow's grief, and pain. He took a sharp breath and held one of Gin's hands, "And the others? The other Espada? What... What did he do?"

"Punished 'em..." The silver haired fox coughed, blood running down his cheek as it seeped from the corner of his mouth, "It was... Vile... He's... He's a monster..."

"But they are alive?" He asked.

"If... If ya can call call it that..." The man cringed, "He's... Drugged 'em all... Some kind of... Control substance... It's made 'em slaves... They remember their freedom... They tried a few times... Grimmjow tried to overcome it... It nearly... Nearly killed him..."

Ichigo's eyes widened in horror, gulping back a strangled sound as he tasted bile on his tongue, "And... You?"

"Tch..." Gin released a wet laugh, sarcastic at best, "After ya were dragged through the Garganta we fought... I put up a bit of a fight... Until he tried to show me his Shikai."

"So I was right, you hadn't seen it either."

"I... Managed to learn a trick... To avoid it's effects... Took decades to find out..." He shrugged weakly, "There was nothin' I could do to stop it though... So I blinded myself... No way was I... Gonna go down because of his... Fuckin' Shikai... No way..."

Ichigo again looked at the man's eyes, he bit his lip, a shudder running through him at the thought of those gouges having been self inflicted, "He didn't kill you though... What happened?"

"He set Tōsen on me, that bastard... Always wanted an excuse to show me the meaning of justice... 'Nd then I was locked up with the Espada... No treatment... No food... Just time..."

"How the hell did you escape?" Ichigo whispered, brushing some of his silver strands of hair back soothingly, not liking the distinctive rattle he could hear rising from the man's chest.

"It was... Starrk and Nelliel... They worked together to... Loosen the bars of my cell enough that I could slip free... I tried to find the keys to their cells... I tried to free 'em... But... Aizen knew... He came for me... Came to finish the job..." A clammy hand gestured to the fresh wound in his abdomen, "I opened the Senkaimon... And fled as fast as I could... Some of... Szayel's Fracción broke into the detention centre... Caused enough of a mess to let me slip away while... While Aizen dealt with 'em..."

"I'm sorry I left you there... I'm sorry Gin..."

"What ya sayin' sorry to me for? It was always... My plan... To get ya out of there once ya... Regained ya control..." The man shook his head slightly, faint smile touching at his lips, "Did ya... Tell Rangiku... My message?"

"I did." He squeezed the hand that still rested in his own, glancing around in hopes of Unohana's arrival, "She... She was confused at first but... She said, you were apologising because you left without telling her again..."

"She's right." Gin chuckled softly, choked sound rising from his throat as he began to cough, "Ichigo... Ichigo I came... Because I had... To tell ya... How to avoid... Kyōka Suigetsu's ability..."

"You came all the way for that?" He asked in disbelief.

"It's... Important!" The silver haired fox forced the words out, they came out sharply with a splash of blood that hit the strawberry's cheek, "Ya can't... Fall under his spell... If ya do... It's all over..."

"I know that already. Don't look at his sword."

"Not lookin' at it won't save ya..." A small shake of the head, "Ya gotta... Ya gotta..."

Ichigo faltered as he saw the remaining colour begin to drain from Gin's face, the man was struggling to speak coherently more and more, he gripped his hand tighter, resting his free palm on the man's forehead, "It's alright, take your time."

Gin grimaced, expression morphing into one of intense pain before he was struck by a barrage of harsh, wet coughs that left him shaking and his chest heaving, "Ya gotta... Touch the blade... Before the hypnosis... Power is... Activated... Or..."

"Be blind." He finished for him, his mouth setting into an unhappy line. Neither of those options were particularly attractive, but maybe they would be helpful in the coming battles, "Thank you, Gin."

"Ne... Ya don't have to... Thank me Ichi-Berry..." Gin's eyes slowly opened, staring upwards sightlessly, the damage seen across his lids mimicked by what lay beneath them, "... Do ya think... Ya can do it? Can ya beat him?"

The strawberry faltered, he hung his head and gave him the same answer he'd given Shinji a few weeks earlier, "I'm going to give it everything I have."

"Good." The silver haired fox smiled faintly, his lips tinged blue, "... I thought... If I got close to him... I could stop him... I wanted to get... Revenge... He hurt Rangiku when she was... A kid... I wanted to... Avenger her... Honour... But as time passed... I got drawn into his web... It was harder to break free... Harder to act... Harder to... Succeed..."

"I'll make sure they know, I'll make sure they all know what you tried to do... I won't let them believe you to be a traitor, Gin." Tears were welling in his eyes faster by the second.

"I don't care about that..." The older man sighed deeply, his eyes fluttering shut again, "I just want... I just..."

Ichigo felt his eyes stinging, he had always liked Gin, the man's sense of humour had taken him some time to adapt to, but they had worked well together in the past, he respected him, liked him even, "I will make him pay for hurting her. I'll do it for you Gin. You don't... Have to worry anymore. I'll make sure her honour is avenged."

"Ah... I... Always liked ya... Glad... Ya turned on him... Glad ya got free... From that web..." Gin sucked in a sharp breath, grunting faintly as his back arched, "Ya ain't the... Kid from Fugai anymore... Ya got strong... Ya got brave... I can... Die knowin'... I can leave it... In yer hands... Now... Ichigo..."

Biting down on his bottom lip to silence himself, Ichigo trembled, feeling Gin's hand slip from his as the silver haired fox drew a final breath and released it in a gagging, wet pant. All movement stopped, all sound. That sickening rattle silenced itself, disappearing into the darkness.

"No... Gin no... Please..." He said quietly, his throat constricting painfully as his hands shook and he sucked in a quivering breath, "I never... I never got to thank you... For everything you've done... You risked so much... You risked being... Hated by everyone just so you could try and take him down and they didn't know! I don't care what you said, I'll make sure they know! I'll make sure you're honoured the way you should be... Not as a traitor... But as Gin Ichimaru... Division Three's Taichou... I swear it..."

"Ichigo!" Rukia's voice snapped out as she appeared, Unohana, Byakuya and Matsumoto at her flank.

The strawberry lifted his gaze slowly, hands hands shaking in his lap as he looked at each of them in turn, watching in dismay as Matsumoto released a pained scream at the sight, her legs buckling beneath her. She was caught by Unohana's steady grasp and held up as she wailed.

Ichigo slowly got to his feet, trying to find the words, trying to say something, anything to help the pain his friend was feeling. But he couldn't. Instead, he clenched his teeth, his fingers balling into tight fists as he felt the first splashes of rain striking the back of his head.

"Everyone... Needs to know..." He forced out as tears rolled down his cheeks, "Gin didn't... Betray Soul Society! He never turned his back on us! He was working against Aizen... All along... In his own way... No matter what the cost... He died trying to help..."

"I-Idiot..." Matsumoto gasped out, slowly sinking to her knees at Gin's side, "I never... I never got to... Do you think he knew?"

"He loved you more than anything else in the world." Ichigo glanced at them both, "And he knew you loved him too. He did this... Because he wanted to help you..."

"Idiot..." She said again.

Turning away from the sight, Ichigo looked down at his hands, releasing a silent sob as he tried to rub away the drying blood that coated his palms and fingers. There was such a rage bubbling inside his belly, churning and coiling ready to leap free and tear someone limb from limb. If he wasn't careful, it would be someone he cared about.

The rain was getting heavier, slapping noisily against the ground in large droplets that almost seemed to bounce with their weight, the clouds over heard rolled and rumbled threateningly.

Striding forwards, he swooped down to retrieve his Zanpakutō, swinging the blade over his back as he passed the Kuchiki siblings, hesitating for only a moment, "Don't follow me." He stated, before disappearing from their sights.

He wasn't sure where he was going, he allowed his instincts to carry him through Seireitei as he coiled his reiatsu inside himself, limiting it so that it wouldn't flare out and damage buildings or hurt innocent Shinigami resting inside their respective barracks. He'd learnt quickly after returning to Soul Society that if he wasn't careful he could easily hurt people with his reiatsu alone, and had quickly tempered himself to keeping it lowered around populated areas. He wouldn't take lives by crushing them accidentally, not like in Hueco Mundo.

A gasp escaped him as he stopped suddenly, finding himself on the very precipice of Sôkyoku Hill, his toes barely hanging over the cliff edge as he glared down at the area below. The rain was slamming against him now, soaking through his uniform and slicking his skin, his hair sticking to his face in an angry hash of orange.

"Aibou..."

The silvery tone of Shiro's voice reached out to him, offering a comforting blanket of familiarity, "Gin shouldn't be dead... He shouldn't have sacrificed himself for me... None of them should... The Espada... Their Fracción... It's a fucking mess!"

"They did it because they believed in you, because they still believe in you." It was Tensa who spoke next, his calm lucidity adding more weight to Shiro's presence.

"That doesn't make it right." He muttered, scowling at the tremulous sky, "Everyone expects me to be able to defeat him... Everyone expects me to be the one to finish the fight... To take him down, to do the impossible. Even I expect it. And... I'd do it. I'd do everything I could to defeat him but..."

"But?"

"What if I can't?" Ichigo asked, his voice barely audible, eyes staring out blankly, "What if Shinji was right? What if... When it comes to that moment, when it comes to him and me... That life or death moment... What if he blocks me? What if he strikes me first? What if... I'm not strong enough?"

"You know you can do it, because your friends need you to do it. You've never failed to protect them. You never will."

"He's got an army behind him." He murmured, "Forcing the Espada to continue serving him... Torturing them if they don't... I can't cut them down... Byakuya won't be able to cut them down... They deserve better..."

"So give them better. Win. And give them their freedom."

"You make it sound so simple." He snorted, kicking a small pebble over the edge of the cliff and watching it tumble, "People look at me differently now, I don't mean because of my looks or my power. They look at me like I'm some kind of hero. I'm not a hero. I started out as a villain... And I changed yeah, but I'm not a hero."

"You started out as a child. Not a villain. You became the product of your surroundings, and his manipulation. And now you are better."

"I am still not a hero."

"How do you define a hero, Ichigo?"

He clenched his teeth, lowering himself to the floor and hugging his knees up into his chest, "You saw what he did in Szayel's lab... How easily he overpowered everyone... He killed Barragan... He killed Zommari... He killed Gin... No amount of heroism can stop a blade."

"Yes, we saw what he did. And we saw you stand against him, and you will do it again. People look at you like you are a hero because you are willing to do whatever is necessary to protect the most precious things in your life. Even when you are hopelessly underpowered, outnumbered, you keep fighting. That... Is why you are a hero." Tensa's teeth snapped together in a rare display of moodiness.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Ichigo let out a growl, clenching his fists into the soggy material of his hakama, "Fuck!" He barked, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"It's okay to doubt yerself, King. It's okay to doubt yer ability, yer courage and yer conviction... It makes ya Human. And underneath it all... Ya are still a Human, King. If ya walk through a Reishi Henkan-Ki ya would emerge in a Human body, with Human restrictions and Human reflexes. Ya don't need a Gigai to walk in the World of the Livin'... Ya just need yerself."

"Is a mere Human strong enough to defeat a Shinigami who is capable of subjugating the Hōgyoku?" He snapped.

"Try it and find out." There was a momentary pause, "After all, what do you have to lose? If you don't try to fight Aizen, your friends will die. If you try to fight Aizen and fail, they will still die. But if you win... You save them all."

Lifting his head sharply, the orange haired Shinigami rolled his eyes, tongue clicking against his teeth in annoyance, "I hate it when you're right."

"As long as ya remember that ya are never fightin' alone... Ya will find yerself capable of amazin' things."

"And that is worth being right about. Now. You made a promise to Gin. You made a promise to Rukia. Are you ready to at least try and keep them, or are you going to hide up here and hope the day doesn't come?"

Feeling a sudden swell of heat in his chest, Ichigo got to his feet, sucking in a breath as he looked out over Soul Society again, from the Hill he could see all of Seireitei and some of Rukongai. Zangetsu was right, if it meant protecting everything he loved it was worth giving it his all, "I'm ready... Thank you. Both of you."