welcome to the bébé chapter, lmao. today we explore sam's hard-to-articulate doubts, sarah&bucky, and may&sam, ft. peter being a little shit and aj playing minecraft like a boss. a good time for all. i hope you enjoy this short and sweet update!
xXx
There had been but one thing Sarah feared regarding the Parkers' visit: that the week would pass by too fast. And, unfortunately, this fear had proven to become reality. Sarah blinked, and next thing she knew it was Friday, more than halfway through the Parkers' stay. They'd already gone to the aquarium, been fishing with Mr. Carlos, even splurged on a trip to the movies. Now the week was winding down, and Sarah wasn't sure she'd be prepared to say goodbye on Monday.
On the bright side, she and May's date—God, 'date' was almost a foreign word to her—was tomorrow, meaning Sarah still had something to look forward to before May and Peter left. She'd attempted to temper her excitement at first, presenting a facade of nonchalance, but…
"I think May is going to explode," Peter said to Sarah, sipping at a protein-packed smoothie she'd helped him make as they sat together at the kitchen table. By 'helped,' of course, Sarah meant she showed him where the blender was and how to clean it afterwards. Peter was a month away from 17, he knew how to make a smoothie by himself. "Because she's so excited about you guys' date tomorrow, I mean."
Sarah raised an eyebrow, pretending her heart hadn't skipped a beat at his insight into May's mind. "Oh, really? What makes you say that?"
Peter grinned at her, the type of smile Sarah recognized all too well from Cass and AJ—a look of unabashed mischief. "She spent this whole morning sorting through the different outfits she brought for the trip and wouldn't stop asking me which would 'look best with her eyes.'" He shrugged. "I promised her they all look great, because they do, but you know how May gets—"
"Peter Parker," May chastised, walking into the kitchen to flick the back of his head. "You should know better than to gossip about your aunt behind her back. I might not have superhearing the way"—Peter loudly cleared his throat, flashing May a warning look that Sarah did not understand the reason for—"like Mr. Barnes, I mean, but that doesn't mean my ears don't burn when terrible rumors are being spread about me." She tapped the shell of her right ear, as if to prove her point.
"They aren't rumors if they're true," Peter countered, redirecting his wide grin towards his aunt. "Come on, we both know how excited you are to go out with Ms. Sarah tomorrow!"
May's face flushed pink, and Sarah decided to spare her friend undue embarrassment. "No need to feel flustered," she teased, winking at May. "I'm excited, too." She chuckled. "Although, I'll admit I haven't started thinking about what I want to wear yet." That was a problem for tomorrow's Sarah.
On the subject of clothing, however. While Sarah knew the scarlet camisole May currently wore was chosen because it was perfect for the Louisiana heat, God was it an incredible bonus how stunning May looked in it.
"Don't worry, I'm just an incredibly indecisive person," May said with an airy shrug that made Sarah shake her head in amusement. "If I don't start planning shit a day early, then no decisions will be made at all."
"I'm sure your effort will pay off." Sarah hesitated, then committed to her flirtatious follow-up. It was high time she got back in the swing of things. "Although I am of the very unbiased opinion that anything you wear will look gorgeous."
May buried her face in her hands. "Oh God. We're indoors, I can't even pretend I'm blushing because of the heat."
Sarah couldn't stop herself from laughing at May's response. At last, flirting was starting to come a little easier to her. After such a long time.
Perhaps she deserved it, now. To be so comfortable around someone else.
Peter gave them both a knowing smirk. "Do I need to tell you guys to get a room, or—"
Sarah's laughter increased as May attempted to shoot her nephew a stern scowl. "You open your mouth one more time, Peter, and so help me I will throw another banana at you."
'Another'? Sarah was more than curious to learn the story behind this banana-throwing threat, but was unfortunately denied hearing the tale when Bucky stepped into the kitchen. Or rather, when she noticed Bucky lurking awkwardly beneath the entryway.
"Is there something you need?" she asked him, raising her voice to be heard over the Parkers' lighthearted squabbling.
Bucky hesitated, his expression somewhere between regretful and stubborn, as if he was having a silent debate with himself about what he was doing and why he was doing it. "Uh, sort of," he finally said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Can you spare a minute?"
Sarah glanced at May and Peter, who'd paused in their faux argument to observe Bucky. She didn't necessarily want to spare a minute, per se, because she was human and humans were prone to selfish desires, but—well, Bucky asked for so little, despite her constant encouragement for him to be more open about what he needed from the Wilson family. Of course she could spare a minute for him. Before Sarah could apologize to the Parkers, though—
"Don't worry about us," Peter said, jumping to his feet with smoothie still in hand. He linked his free arm through his aunt's. "May still needs to pick shoes that match her outfit for your date tomorrow. Check back with us in two hours!"
Sarah managed to withhold her laughter, though an amused smile slipped onto her lips despite herself as Peter and May disappeared down the hall and into the guest bedroom. She absentmindedly wondered if Cass and AJ would continue to have such boundless enthusiasm when they reached Peter's age, but pushed the thought to the back of her mind as she returned her attention to Bucky. Focus, Sarah. Clearly whatever Bucky needed to talk with her about was important.
"Want to sit?" she offered, gesturing to the chair previously occupied by Peter. "I think it'll just be weird if we keep talking to each other from across the room."
Bucky chuckled, entering the kitchen and sliding into the seat before her. "Yeah, I think you're right." He grew quiet afterwards. Sarah could tell from how his brow was furrowed and the way his shoulders were held nearly an inch higher than normal that Bucky was carrying an unusual amount of tension in his body. Damn. How serious a subject was he about to broach?
"Are you… alright?" Sarah decided to ask, trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible. Sam had once told her talking to an anxious Bucky was like trying to approach a baby deer, and as far as Sarah could tell, the comparison was not inaccurate. "Is something wrong?"
Bucky blinked, as if he'd just realized he was still yet to speak. "No, no!" he hastily reassured her, and Sarah felt some tension ease from her own shoulders. "Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. It's just…" He blew air between his lips, absentmindedly flexing his vibranium hand. "Well, Sam doesn't know I'm talking to you. Right now, I mean."
Sarah tilted her head, unsure why Bucky felt the need to point that out. "Okay?"
Bucky exhaled again. There was a long pause, and— "He's worried about you and May." The words tumbled out of Bucky like a waterfall, and it was clear to Sarah he'd been holding this back for a while. Probably since May first arrived, if not longer. "And not in an 'overprotective brother' way. I thought that was it at first, but—" The furrow of his brow deepened, and he shook his head. "It's something else."
This time Sarah was the one who allowed silence to hang between them. She pursed her lips, puzzling over Bucky's revelation. Or rather, the fact that he'd approached her with it. "Are you telling me this just because you want me to know, or because you want help figuring out what's going on inside my brother's head?"
Bucky gave her a lopsided grin that Sarah could not deny was incredibly charming. "A bit of both, maybe?"
Sarah chuckled. Fair enough. "Well, thank you for informing me of his concerns." She'd already known, really, but a soft smile tugged at her lips nonetheless. "Sam's heart has always been too big like that, trying to look out for anyone and everyone. But as to your second question…" She shook her head. "You're gonna have to talk to him about that one yourself, Bucky. It's not my place to spill his secrets."
Though truth be told, Sarah wasn't sure Sam knew how to articulate the source of his hesitation. Putting stuff like that into words, raw expressions torn from the heart, was never easy. And for Sam, as an Avenger, as an uncle, as a widower for all intents and purposes… It was even harder.
Bucky nodded, but Sarah could see lingering doubt written all over his face. An attempt at reassurance was on the tip of her tongue when he asked, "Do you think it has something to do with Riley?"
Sarah hesitated. Bucky knew about Riley, yes. Sam had explained to her, privately, how Bucky had helped him through a particularly rough night in DC, and since then there'd been almost no secrets between them. That included any and all details about Riley. But…
"Yes and no," she decided on. Sarah reached over to give Bucky's human hand a quick squeeze. "Just keep in mind that not everybody falls in love the same way, alright?"
Understanding seemed to settle in Bucky's features, and Sarah pulled her hand away. "Thank you," he said, a small but grateful smile forming on his lips.
Sarah nodded, then couldn't resist the urge to add, "For what it's worth, I think Sam will spontaneously combust when he realizes he's in love with you. Either then or after he realizes his feelings are reciprocated."
Bucky's face turned more red than an overripe tomato, and Sarah could not hold back her laughter at his flustered sputtering that followed, the pathetic sound like an old car engine trying to start. There was something oddly reassuring to know that for as rusty as she had initially felt flirting with May, there were two grown men staying in her home that were even worse off.
"He's not—I mean, we aren't—"
"Sarah, did you make the cyborg short-circuit?"
Sarah turned around to see that—speak of the devil—Sam had returned with the boys from the grocery store, a bag in each hand and one hanging from his left arm while AJ and Cass carried the remaining two. "I did no such thing," she said slyly, though she was certain she'd foiled her own attempt at mischief with the wide grin she was sending her brother.
Sam appeared doubtful, raising an eyebrow at her as he placed his bags on the counter before taking the other two from Cass and AJ. "Right. That's why Bucky is stammering like a broken record."
Sarah snorted as Bucky snapped his jaw shut. "Don't be so mean to him." Before Sam could protest, she stood and shot Bucky a look that made him jump to his feet, too. "AJ, Cass, can y'all go show Bucky where you want to set up the tire swing in the front yard?"
She knew her boys would need no convincing, and once they'd dragged Bucky out the door, Sarah turned to her brother and began helping him put away the groceries. "Bucky tells me you're worried about May and I," she said as she shelved a box of pasta, deciding to pull no punches. "I wanted you to know that I appreciate the concern, but also that I'm… I'm not rushing into things."
It didn't feel like rushing, at least. Maybe Sarah was wearing rose-tinted glasses, but May had the kind of heart, the kind of innate goodness that could make Sarah believe she'd known her for years already.
She knew, though, that Sam didn't experience closeness, didn't experience knowing in the same fashion. And that was okay. They'd find their middle ground.
They always did.
Sam sighed, pausing with a jug of milk in one hand and the handle of the fridge in the other. "So Bucky's talking with you behind my back now, huh?"
Sarah chuckled. "Boy, we've been talking behind your back since you brought him to Delacroix." She shook her head. "But no, it's nothing like that." Sarah emptied the apples into the fruit bowl before stepping next to her brother and giving his forearm a reassuring squeeze. "When you're worried, Bucky's worried. So I'm here to tell both of y'all to stop worrying—I know what I'm doing."
She was… toeing the edge. The edge of something real, something good, something lasting with May. Because nothing felt so natural as when Sarah was around her. And Sarah would take however much time she needed to make it work, be it another day or another year.
She knew her brother could understand that much. He'd first taken his sweet time with Riley and was now taking his sweet time with Bucky, whether he knew of the latter or not.
Sam stuck the milk in the fridge. "I know you do." Then he shook his head. "Honestly, I can't put my finger on why I'm worried." An amused smile flickered on his lips. "God knows you're the most competent person in this family."
Sarah laughed. "Damn right I am." She stuck the bay leaves and thyme in the cabinet above the stove before adding with a small smirk, "Don't you think your worry might be stemming from the line you and Bucky's relationship is teetering on?"
Sarah paused as Sam rolled his eyes, a more serious expression pulling down her lips. "And look, I know you haven't been with anyone since Riley." There hadn't truly been anyone before Riley, either. Like she'd said—Sam needed to know someone before he'd even consider taking another step forward. "I'm always here if you need someone to talk to—"
"I don't think there's anything to talk about," Sam interrupted, putting away the boxes of cereal in one of the bottom cabinets. "But I appreciate the offer." He shot her an amused look. "Unless there's something you know about Bucky that I don't."
Sarah rolled her eyes. "Nah," she said, because truth be told, her brother already knew how Bucky felt about him, no matter if he was six feet deep in denial about it. Sarah wasn't sure whether she'd laugh or cry the day Sam's feelings hit him like a sledgehammer—only time would tell. She winked at him. "But I'll keep you posted."
Sam snorted, shelving the last of the groceries in the pantry. "What, about you and May or me and Bucky?"
Sarah pretended to think it over. "How about both?"
This time Sam laughed, loud and true. "You're the worst. Yeah, keep me posted about both, since you and Bucky are apparently buddy-buddy now."
"Please. Sarah and I have always been buddy-buddy."
Sarah turned from where she was wiping water from around the sink to see that Bucky had re-entered the kitchen, his face considerably less red than when he'd left and a smirk newly dancing on his lips.
"In fact, Sarah and I are besties," he continued, earning a groan from Sam.
"'Besties'? Cass told you to say that, didn't he."
The lack of a questioning tone to her brother's voice made Sarah snicker as he and Bucky continued their childish banter, Bucky joining Sam to straighten up a shelf in the pantry. They'd figure it out, she knew. One day, sooner or later, they'd figure it out.
Everything was going to be just fine.
xXx
"Uncle Sam, look at this house I've been making!" AJ pointed at the TV, his glasses nearly slipping down his nose from the eagerness of his gesture. "Isn't it awesome?"
Sam dropped onto the couch beside his nephew, who'd been diligently playing Minecraft for the past half hour. Cass was curled up in a rocking chair to the left of the sofa, his own glasses balanced on the right arm of said chair. He seemed more interested in texting his friends than observing AJ's building progress. Ah, teenagers—or so Cass would soon be.
What a scary thought.
"It's more than awesome," Sam confirmed, grinning at AJ before looking back towards the TV. "How'd you get the stained glass lit up like that?"
AJ puffed out his chest in pride. "I created vertical tunnels behind each strip of glass and filled them with lava. Cass says it looks ethereal." He paused, smile faltering. "He didn't say what that means, but I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."
Sam chuckled as Cass gave them a lazy thumbs up. Seemed like his nephew's spelling bee prep was paying off. "It is a good thing. 'Ethereal' means it looks so light and beautiful that it's not of this world."
AJ's grin returned in full force. "Aw, thanks, Cass!" He hummed contentedly as he fiddled with the controller, placing another row of blocks on the floor of his house. "I think I'll be an architect when I grow up. Wouldn't that be cool?"
"Damn straight that'd be cool," Sam agreed. He glanced behind him to ensure Sarah wasn't within earshot and about to lecture him for his language… Nope, he was in the clear. He lightly knocked AJ's shoulder with his own. "Maybe you could help design the new Avengers compound."
AJ's eyes lit up like it was Christmas. "Really? I could do that?!"
Sam shrugged. "Why not? You've clearly got an eye for architectural design." Before he could tease his nephew about maybe needing some more practical experience outside of Minecraft, though, he was interrupted by a quiet tap on the coffee table to his right.
"Hi, Sam." It was May, giving him a small—and maybe a little awkward—smile. "Do you mind if we talk real quick?" When Sam flashed her a concerned look, she hastily added, "Not a bad talk, I promise!"
"Sure," Sam agreed after a pause. Saying no felt rude, and it wasn't like AJ's Minecraft tour wouldn't be waiting for him when he returned. He squeezed his nephew's shoulder before getting off the couch and following May into the hall—for a semblance of privacy, he assumed.
Sam distantly wondered where Bucky had gone off to. He hadn't seen him since they'd finished putting up the groceries together.
"Firstly, I want to say that you shouldn't get angry at Peter for his role in this," May said, which was a comment that only served to make Sam wary. He raised an eyebrow, and she grimaced. "Okay, yeah, that sounds bad. Terrible way to start this conversation. He didn't do anything wrong. I mean—not really, at least?"
An amused smile crept onto Sam's lips despite himself. The resemblance between May and Peter was especially uncanny when they were nervous—the signature Parker tendency to ramble.
"Earlier this morning, Peter was helping me find some shoes while you and Sarah were unloading the groceries," May continued, right hand fingering the watch strap around her left wrist, "and because of his superhearing and all… he might have overheard a teeny bit of your conversation. And then relayed it to me. But only because I asked! It's my fault for insisting."
Well, that explained May's anxious demeanor. But if Sam was honest—yeah, Bucky Barnes was his partner. As in Bucky 'supersoldier with obnoxiously enhanced senses' Barnes. Sam had long since gotten used to the fact that there was almost always a third party listening in on his conversations. Before he could say as much, though, May exhaled, tucking her hair behind both ears.
"I guess I just—I wanted to tell you that I like Sarah. A lot. And the last thing I want to do is hurt her! I'm taking things one step at a time, at whatever pace Sarah sets." She chuckled. Truth be told, it was an endearing sound, especially with the tiny smile that accompanied it. Sam could understand why his sister was so charmed by her. "And for the record, I think it's really, really sweet how much you two care about each other. Ben—my late husband—cared for his brother like that, too." May bit her lip. "But he always struggled with showing it. Then Richard passed away, and…"
She trailed off, but Sam heard what went unsaid.
And then it was too late.
"Thank you for telling me," Sam said after a beat passed. A smirk tugged at his lips. "Even if you had your not-so-innocent nephew eavesdrop on your behalf."
May laughed, cheeks tinged with red. "I told you, it wasn't on purpose! He can't always help what he overhears."
Sam chuckled. "I'll get him some noise-cancelling headphones for his birthday, don't worry."
"Oh, he has a pair Tony made for him. He just didn't think to pack them. God knows why—he could have used them on the flight down."
Sam grimaced in sympathy. Yeah, one aspect of being Captain America that Sam actually appreciated was the private SHIELD jets. Made for much quieter flights. "I really don't know why I can't shake my… unease, I guess," he admitted after a pause, returning their conversation to its initial focus. "I trust Sarah, I trust you. I know y'all aren't rushing into this."
Three months. Or close to it. That was more than enough time to gauge interest in someone.
So why didn't it feel that way to him?
Sam sighed, shaking his head. "Sorry. Whatever's going on, it's my shit to deal with. You and Sarah have my full support."
May gave him a gentle smile. "Hey. I'm not just Peter's aunt and Sarah's new friend, you know. If you need something, I'm there."
Sam returned her smile with one of his own. "Thanks, May. I appreciate that."
May shrugged. "And you know, not everyone pursues 'love' the same way. Ben didn't ask me out on a proper date until we'd been friends for two, maybe three years? Some people just need that emotional connection before romance can blossom!"
Two, three years, huh? Sam supposed he'd known Bucky nearly that long now.
What a funny and completely irrelevant coincidence.
Sam gave May a crooked smile, shoving thoughts of Bucky to the back of his mind. "Really? Maybe I'm wired different, then. Forget DMs and dating apps—I need a formal affidavit attesting to at least a year of friendship before I let someone reel me in any further."
May laughed, shaking her head. "Hey, whatever works for you!"
And with May's words, Sam found that the tension he'd been carrying for the last few days had finally started easing from his shoulders. Wow, maybe he should've talked to her sooner. "I hope you and Sarah have a great time on your date tomorrow," he said, the words falling from his tongue with sincerity. "And I also hope my worrywarting hasn't made anything weird for you."
"Pff." May waved her hand dismissively. "My kid is Spider-Man. I talk regularly with Pepper Potts nowadays. Can't get much weirder than that."
Fair enough.
"I feel like we should hug," May declared, gesturing with her right index finger between them. Sam blinked. "You can say no, of course. But I'm really getting a hug vibe here."
Yeah, she and Peter were ridiculously alike.
Sam couldn't stop himself from grinning at her. "Alright, alright. Bring it in."
As tiny as she was, May was a fierce hugger, and Sam practically absorbed the fire she radiated from her body. No wonder Sarah was so entranced.
Afterwards, Sam returned to the living room with a new—figurative—skip in his step, only to see that Bucky had reappeared from God-knew-where and joined AJ on the couch. He was intently watching AJ play Minecraft, asking questions every so often about blocks placed and animals encountered.
It was a sickeningly domestic image, and Sam was struck by how natural Bucky's place in their—in his life had become. It might have been terrifying to think about if it weren't for the fact that…
Well, it was Bucky, and Bucky belonged with them. He was a crucial part of the Wilson family—now and always.
Shit, Sam realized. Maybe that was a little terrifying.
xXx
marvel canon demiromantic!sam when (/j). i am now very attached to this headcanon, having written this whole fic, lmao. also apologies to really dedicated spider-man fans: i just be making vague stuff up about ben and richard for plot purposes bc mcu canon tells us nothing, rip. thank you for reading and i hope to see all of you saturday for the next chapter!
as always, if you want to gush about sarahmay and sambucky, you can find me on tumblr starkravinghazelnoots :)
