Author notes: And we're back! As usual, thank you all so incredibly much for the reviews/favorites/follows! It absolutely makes my day when I get feedback, so don't be shy!
In other news, my DRRR requests tumblr is approaching 500 followers (wow!) and I may be doing a match-ups event to celebrate. If you're not following me over there, please do! Links to my DRRR and personal tumblr are in my bio.
On a slightly more serious note (and I will do my best to keep this brief!) I wanted to address something. Sorry if I'm being a bummer here, but I just thought it should be said. I've had a few reviews and PMs from readers who were going through a similar situation as Tamina. It really touches me that my readers could relate and even maybe find some comfort in my character and her journey. I won't go into details but I will say that I did draw some inspiration from my personal experience. Everyone is fighting their own battles so do your best to be kind. You have no idea what someone is going home to. And to those still struggling, you're not alone. Abuse. Depression. Toxic relationships. Whatever you're going through. Find strength wherever you can and know that your self care is always most important. Don't feel stupid, or selfish or wrong for seeking help. And if all else fails, my PMs are always open.
Now that that is said, please enjoy!
The weeks passed rather blissfully for a while. It was a feeling Tamina was so content with, much to her own surprise. It was surprising because she gave herself to it so freely and quickly. Everything stressful and dark had faded to the back of her mind because things with Shizuo were going so well. There were plenty of dates. They had so much fun when they were together. They could talk for hours too. And then there was the sex. Their bond had grown immensely stronger since they'd become more familiar. On his end especially it seemed. She had forgotten what that felt like. To be needed.
It was great for Shizuo too. And not just for the obvious reasons. Of course being 'physical' with someone was amazing. He'd never considered himself a sexual person. The complete opposite actually! But now that he'd had a taste, it was something he found himself craving. When a few days passed between seeing her, or after a particularly tough day at work, she was all he wanted. All he could think about, really. He'd had her more times than he could count already, and their relationship had just started. Being wanted in this way didn't hurt his ego either...
But everything else was great too! Sharing everyday life with someone was more satisfying than he could have dreamed. He looked forward to the days and nights he'd get to spend in her company every second they were apart. Some evenings he came home to amazing home cooked meals and his clothes just started showing up cleaned and ironed in his closet. He hadn't known meat tasted significantly better when it had time to sit in it's seasonings or that hydrogen peroxide and lemon juice were the best for getting out stains. Watching movies was way better with her curled up under his arm too. She made every part of his life better. He knew it was early in their relationship and he wouldn't dare say so, but he hoped he'd spend the rest of his days like this... Nothing would make him happier. Seeing her smile everyday. Making love every night...
The first round was always fast. It wasn't either one of their faults. It was typically so anticipated and exciting, sometimes prolonged with foreplay. A few minutes of passion and...
The second round would start with little intermission. This time was always longer and more playful. But the third was longest... By the third time he was most confident in his touch and his hands could explore her body with more ease. Kisses were deep and passionate. Things slowed down immensely. The world around them disappeared for a time and in their own space there was nothing else. Nothing but him, and her.
Shizuo exhaled a hard breath. Being on top was still new to him. Though he was determined to get past these stupid boundaries he'd set for himself, it was tough. And seeing her like this... Well, it didn't make it any easier...
He kept his hands firmly planted in the blankets on either side of her head. She was looking up at him with those lust filled eyes he'd familiarized himself with. She hugged one of his arms with her own, her lips parted just enough to let her breathy little sounds fill the room with every thrust he gave. He was lost in those eyes. Sometimes he swore she was bewitching him. He rocked his hips slowly into her body. She bit her bottom lip as he withdrew from her at the same nearly torturous pace. She had grown to enjoy the slowly built passion in their sex.
Though he had become better with his reservations, they still sometimes nagged at him. He had to remind himself not to grab to roughly or squeeze too tight. If he had it his way, he probably would have never touched her. But she insisted otherwise. She craved his hands on her and made him do it as often as she could without pushing him. And he was grateful for it now. The slow grown confidence surprised him every now and then.
In just such a moment, he felt the need to touch her. His fingers unknotted from the sheets and his hand came to travel over her collarbone and up the side of her neck. It came to rest, carefully holding the side of her face. All the while he kept the rhythm in his hips constant. It was sensual and coordinated! He beamed, feeling more than ever that there could be hope for him yet.
The sudden touch made Tamina's lips curl into a small smile and she placed her hand on top of his. Their eyes were locked but she turned her face just enough to plant a kiss on his wrist.
His breath caught. The smallest gestures and she could just set him on fire... That was the power she had. He picked up the pace considerably without even realizing it, pressing in to nuzzle his forehead against hers. She gladly accepted his affection, arms looping around his neck to hug his head tightly. They were both starting to lose themselves to the ecstasy again.
"I love you..." The words escaped in a breath. Shizuo was horrified to hear them leave his lips.
Suddenly everything stopped. Tamina pulled back a bit, pressing a palm against his shoulder for some space. The look she wore was hard to read. As if she wasn't sure she had heard him clearly.
"I'm sorry." Shizuo blurted, immediately leaning back on his knees to withdraw and give her room. "I didn't mean to say that. I mean, I did!" He tripped over all of his words now. "I just-I know that's not something you should say during sex. I just...I'm sorry-I..."
While Shizuo drowned in his words, Tamina just stared back. He loved her. That's what he had said, right? It overwhelmed her. Could she really accept a confession that came with passionate sex? She wasn't sure. It hadn't been too long, but she couldn't deny her feelings for him were strong too. And growing...
But love... It was giving oneself to the other completely. She knew that Shizuo would gladly do that for her. But could she? No matter how badly she wanted to, something like that wouldn't prove easy... Though she couldn't think of any other word that quite captured how she felt toward him.
She suddenly realized her puzzled face was stressing him out further and she was too hot and bothered not to finish this. She cut off his rambling by leaning up with a rough kiss. "We'll talk later." She assured him, coaxing him by sucking on his bottom lip.
He was taken by surprise and a low growl resonated in his throat. Her legs hugged and tugged his waist, demanding he finish what he'd started. He needed no further enticing than that...
Shizuo's work schedule fluctuated. Sometimes he worked days. Other times he'd head out in the early evening and work throughout the night. Tamina had certain obligations for her own jobs but aside from meals and the occasional time sensitive errands, her time was pretty flexible. She could come over in the morning and stay until late afternoon on days like today when he worked later. Or she could sleep over on nights he was home. She hated the idea of him losing sleep with his crazy hours but he insisted it was the opposite of a problem. They certainly 'slept' much less in each others company.
Tamina watched herself in the bathroom mirror as she pulled the length of her hair on top of her head and tied it up. She blinked when she saw discoloration on her forearm in the reflection. After further examination she realized that it was the beginnings of a faint, purple bruise. She twisted her wrist at a better angle in the light, and noticed it had the distinct shape of a hand print. Now she remembered. It didn't happen too often, but every now and then she received subtle reminders of Shizuo strength in these little accidental marks. It didn't hurt now and neither one of them seemed to notice when it happened. It was typically during certain explosive moments... When Shizuo was a bit too lost to control himself and Tamina was way too stimulated to care.
She shrugged it off. It wasn't too noticeable and would disappear in a couple of days. If Shizuo knew about it he'd just beat himself up so she kept these minor incidents to herself. He was getting better and better every time and she had no intention of discouraging his progress with these silly little things. A strange smile crept onto her lips when she realized she kind of liked his marks on her. In a kind of deviant way. Like it made her completely his.
"Your phone keeps ringing!" Shizuo called to to her from the next room.
It had been going off all day. And she didn't have to guess who it was. A certain information broker had been very keen on bugging her lately. She entered and snatched it off the table, sending it to voice mail yet again. Couldn't he take a hint? Of course not, she thought bitterly. He was probably doing this on purpose. Antagonizing. The usual.
Fortunately she hadn't changed Izaya's contact in her phone and his number remained under the name 'Nakura.' She shoved the phone in her bag and turned to Shizuo with a sweet smile before it could become a topic of discussion.
"So, about what I said early..." He started to say.
"Yeah?" She asked, eager to hear him.
He seemed nervous, running a hand through his hair. "Can we just forget about it?" He blurted.
She couldn't suppress her face fall and he immediately added. "I'm not taking back what I said! I just feel like an idiot because of how it happened. It wasn't respectful."
Tamina stared back at him, the worry in her eyes replaced by a softness. That's what he was worried about? Being respectful? His wholesome character never ceased to surprise her.
"I meant it. I want you to know that." He asserted. "But let me say it again at a better time."
She knew there was no point arguing with him. There was no changing his mind when it was made up. His horrible stubbornness was shining through, but so was his incredible sweetness. To think, he cared that much about something so seemingly simple.
"Fine." She relented. "If that's what you really want."
He knew she often gave into his silly requests without fully understanding them entirely for his sake. She was so understanding and perfect. And he loved her even more for it. He smiled widely, leaning down to give her a kiss that she gladly accepted.
They were both dressed and ready to go. He had to get to work and she had errands. But the thought of his love made her happiness soar and she playfully added a little tongue to their goodbye. However, this only stoked the fire that had finally calmed in him, and he decided right then and there he was definitely going to be late. It wasn't long after that they were undressed all over again...
"Thank you." Tamina said politely to the man behind the counter at the fish market. She placed the wrapped package in her bag and moved on to produce. Just a few more things...
She gave an irate huff when she felt her phone vibrating again. Without even checking the ID she snatched it from her bag and pressed it to her ear. "You're a piece of work, you know that?"
"I could have been dying!" Izaya's voice came from the other line dramatically. "I can't believe you wouldn't answer at all."
"One. If you were calling that much there was no way you were dying. At least not fast enough. And two, I was busy and you know that. You're just being a needy brat."
"I know your little fantasy with Shizu-chan has given you a severe case of tunnel vision. You're only human and I love that! Despite what a degenerate he is." He added under his breath. "But every so often I do have something of importance to say. I think I've proven that."
There was a brief pause on Tamina's end. She absolutely hated when he was right. It literally pained her. But the fact that she'd pushed certain things to the back of her mind in favor of this new found peace did not escape her. "Well?" She finally said.
"Better we talk in person." He told her much to her dismay. "How about your place? Say...Dinner time?" He asked, the sly grin obvious in his voice.
Tamina rolled her eyes, incredibly annoyed with that idea. "Fine." She said non the less.
"Great! Are you taking dinner requests? Because if you are you should definitely make-"
His voice cut out when she impatiently tapped the end button on the call. She let out a defeated sigh and about faced to head back to the fish counter. Apparently she'd need more.
Tamina placed the few things Mrs. Awakusu had asked her to grab on the counter. "They were super busy so they quoted me an extra day for the dry cleaning. I hope that's okay." She said, offering the receipt that she fished from her bag.
Mrs. Awakusu took the paper with a nod of approval. "It's not a problem. Thank you for being so thorough as usual."
Tamina just smiled in return. She did her best not to appear uptight around the Awakusu's but it was definitely strained at times. It was then that she wondered where her relief was. That little smile that always put her at ease.
"Is Akane still not feeling well?" She asked. That had been the case the last few weeks actually. She hadn't seen the sweet girl in a while. It was starting to become strange and she wondered if she should worry.
Mrs Awakusu's brow grew uncharacteristically tight to Tamina's surprise. "She's going through a bit of a faze." She explained. It was clearly a sore subject.
Tamina's first instinct was to pry a bit but she fought it, recalling all the conversations she'd had about discretion. This was clearly a family matter and she didn't want to overstep her boundaries. "Well, let her know I'm thinking about her." She decided to leave it at that.
"I'm home!" Tamina called, kicking the door shut behind her. She kicked off her shoes while she struggled with her grip on the paper grocery bag she carried. When she entered the living room she was startled when the bag was suddenly grabbed from her hands.
"Welcome home, Miss Tamina." Egor greeted her as he assisted.
Tamina suppressed a yelp of surprise. "Thank you, Egor."
She still hadn't gotten used to the intimidating mans presence. He towered over her and bandages decorated his face, though less now then when he'd first arrived. She never would have allowed him to stay if Shinra and Simon hadn't vouched for his integrity.
Things with the twins had finally calmed down. Tamina had given into their pleads to 'loosen up'. She spent a few nights a week at Shizuo's to give them space and did her best to respect their freedom within reason. As far as she could tell, it worked. They seemed appeased and had stopped wandering too far. They kept Tamina informed and met all of their academic commitments, which was most important.
That wasn't to say things in their apartment were now normal. No, they were as strange as ever. It seemed they had shifted from exploring their surroundings to exploring the bowels of the internet, staying up all hours on websites and chat rooms. This wasn't the best improvement, Tamina knew, but she took her victories where she could. And then, of course, there was Egor. Their new, even more eccentric house guest. Indefinitely. Maybe strange had just become the norm, and Tamina just hadn't noticed the transition?
Egor carried her heavy bag into the kitchen for her effortlessly.
"Egor, that isn't necessary." She protested as he began to put the groceries away.
"It's the least I can do." Egor replied. "I can't express enough gratitude for your hospitality."
Well, it wasn't necessarily her hospitality that welcomed him here. The twins had invited him to stay, leaving her little room for protest. Especially when faced with the daunting man. Apparently he had nowhere else to go and a recently failed job left his finances a bit complicated. He was polite enough and never overstepped his boundaries. He was actually pretty nice! But, like Shizuo, she knew there was more to this man than what she saw. She could tell by his very presence that he was dangerous, and the stories the twins told her only furthered her speculations.
For whatever reason though, this very daunting and potentially dangerous man seemed to owe Kururi and Mairu quite a lot, and had come to participate in their little household rather obediently. He seemed determined to earn his keep, helping with chores and duties whenever he could. Soon Tamina began to feel toward Egor the same way she did the twins. Apprehensive at first, but eventually understanding, and even accepting.
She glanced toward the couch where he had neatly folded and stacked the pillows and blankets he used. He was so tall and their couch wasn't very big. She didn't imagine it was comfortable for him, but he hadn't complained once.
"That couch can't be comfortable for you." She observed.
"There's no need to worry about my comfort. I've slept on much worse. Its practically a luxury." He told her.
"Would you like a futon, Egor?" She asked. "I wish we had more space but at least you could fully lay down. I could get you one this week. "
"I couldn't ask for that, Miss Tamina. I still owe the twins quite a debt, and your kindness is more than enough." He replied.
"You're not asking. I'm offering. I hate to think of you so uncomfortable. You're not putting me out." She assured him. "I don't mean to sound rude, but I think I have more money saved then I could spend at this point, so It's no trouble at all. Let me get you a proper futon." She insisted.
Egor looked surprised but relented. "I'm so grateful. Please know that I plan to repay you and the girls someday. Many times over."
Tamina gave a smile. He was scary. At least he looked it. Sometimes. And she knew next to nothing about him. But for whatever reason, she just felt like she could trust him. And for that reason, she decided he could stay for as long as he liked.
"Come on... Just let me have a little taste."
Tamina lightly pushed back against Mairu's nudging while she took the salmon she had baked out of the oven and set it on the stove top. "It's hot." She said as she swatted Mairu's picking fingers away with an oven mit. "Go set the table." She ordered.
Mairu whined as if pained to wait. "Egor will do it."
"I'd be happy to." Egor said immediately standing from the couch.
Tamina cast a disapproving glance at the bubbly twin. "He's our guest, not our servant. Don't be rude."
"I'm more than happy to help." Egor said simply as he went about the task.
Mairu gestured triumphantly as if her point was proven. Tamina just sighed, adding more spices to a garlic and lemon juice concoction she'd thrown together in a bowl, then brushed it over the fish for flavor.
"What would I do without you Mina?" Mairu asked as she affectionately nuzzled into her from behind.
Tamina craned her neck to one side, but otherwise ignored the usual invasion of her space. "Who knows? You might learn to cook things like this yourself."
"Yeah, right. Like I'd even know what temperature to bake it or to put all those little leaves all over it."
Tamina breathed a laugh. "Parsley."
"Is that like bailey?"
"Uhm. You mean a bay leaf?"
"What did I say?"
"Bailey."
"Can we eat now?" Kururi asked impatiently. She had at some point finished her studying and joined them in the kitchen.
Everyone's attention was drawn to the front door when a soft knock came. Tamina internally cringed. "Also, we have a guest for dinner." She informed everyone.
It was as tense and awkward as Tamina expected. She tried to focus on the meal she'd been particularly craving but it served as little distraction. Mairu was staring daggers, all while shoveling food into her mouth like an animal. Kururi didn't look entirely pleased either, though the untrained eye might not recognize it on her neutral face. Egor ate quietly but he was clearly on edge as well. Likely from everyone elses body language. Tamina silently hoped this wasn't the night she'd witness his true strength.
"You know, Shizuo said if we can get you to go face first into a dump truck, he'll let us talk to Yuuhei." Mairu told her brother between heaping bites.
"How unimaginative." Izaya replied with an unfazed expression. "Makes your time frames rather limited too."
"I'm sure he's flexible on the type of truck so there's hope yet." Mairu retorted.
"And we could always bring the truck to you." Kururi added.
"Geez, what are you doing to my little sisters Miss Takeda?" Izaya asked playfully. "Under your supervision it seems like they're even nastier."
"They're my angels and they're perfect." Tamina said flatly without looking up, provoking wide triumphant smiles from the twins.
Egor began clearing the dishes away, casting Tamina a questioning glance as he did. She knew he'd get rid of Izaya in an instant if she asked, but unfortunately there was still important matters to discuss.
"Come on." She told Izaya impatiently and began to lead him to her bedroom. He was more than happy to shove away from the table and follow.
Mairu shouted after them. "If we catch you-"
"We're just talking!" Tamina cut her off.
"What happened?" Tamina finally asked as she shut her bedroom door behind him.
Her step father was still out there, and there had been a lapse in her resolve to gain closure. Izaya's visit couldn't mean anything good on this front. She anxiously waited for his answer.
"I've been keeping tabs on his computer. Seems like he's joined a community of like minded individuals, if you know what I mean. They share pictures between each other of the girls they stalk. And according to the pictures he's uploading, I think things may have progressed even further. They seem very...intimate." He explained.
A chill ran up Tamina's spine. What did this mean? Was he getting personal with these girls now? Forcing them to take pictures? Or worse... And sharing them?
"Can I take this to the police?" Tamina asked hopefully.
"No. He's careful. He uses an app to change the color schemes and distort the images somewhat. On top of that, the means for obtaining this information wasn't necessarily legal."
"Okay, well has this given us any new information that we can use?" She pressed.
"Nope."
"Then why are you telling me this?" She asked, clearly becoming frustrated. She felt as though he just did this to hurt her. What good was knowing these horrible things if she couldn't change them?
"To remind you that there is a world outside of your little fantasy." He said. "You seemed so eager to take this guy down until that beast somehow captured your attention. How are you going to feel when these girls end up in child porn? All because you got sucked into that cloud of stupidity that Shizu-chan resides in."
As she often did, Tamina wanted to bite back, but his words rang just enough truth. These were kids. And there was a monster out there ruining their lives. She suddenly felt selfish for allowing herself the happiness she had been enjoying. She had wanted stability and love in her life for so long. And now that she had it, it was as if it were a veil that had been pulled over her eyes. Did she do this on purpose or subconsciously?
"Any development with the Awakusu's? Maybe by now you could talk to them about this?" He went on, a surprising sincerity in his voice.
"I'll try." She said, trying to assure herself as much as him.
A long silence passed between them. After a while Tamina looked to him, curious by the unusual quiet. He had seated himself comfortably on her bed but he watched her with sharp eyes now. It made her a bit uneasy.
"What?" She finally asked when the look remained on his face.
"What happened to your arm?" His voice had an edge to it.
Damn him, he was like a super human. Even in the low light his keen eyes found the telling bruise on her forearm. She'd forgotten to change into a long sleeve shirt.
"Don't worry about it." She said, hoping he'd drop it.
It wasn't difficult to guess who was responsible for the distinct mark. That beast. That monster. The evidence he left on her body filled Izaya disgust. It was like vandalizing fine art. An unskilled finger painter destroying the priceless work of Van Gogh.
He was determined to ride this thing out. Every instinct he had told him it was better that way. Shizu-chan would slip up eventually, and when that happened, he would crush him. Until then he had to be patient. It was something he had ample practice doing. His pieces all remained in place. The game he played was one of give and take. The sparks he threw everywhere would cause a fire soon. But his favorite humans involvement was becoming more and more distracting.
He let out an uncharacteristically irate breath. "Why him?" He asked, giving into curiosity. "Out of everyone in this damn city. Anyone! You choose him. Why?"
Tamina often teased and poked fun at him for being jealous but she could see it so clearly in his face right now. For once, he didn't seem to be hiding it at all. His brow was tight and his face held that dark expression. It didn't even look like him...
"Is it really fair for you to ask me that?" She replied.
Her answer didn't seem to stir anything in him. He just watched for a while longer with the same bitter face. It annoyed her a bit. How did he have the nerve to feel slighted after all of this? He was such a damn brat.
"We're serious so you need to just get used to it." She told him firmly.
He scoffed. "Serious." He repeated in a mocking tone. "What does that even mean?"
"He loves me."
Tamina thought the look that Izaya favored before was bitter. The new one he adopted put the last to shame. "He said that?" He asked in a hiss, as if it were the most offensive thing he'd ever heard.
It startled Tamina how he immediately stood off the bed and approached her. He closed the space between them quick, and she pressed back against her dresser in subconscious intimidation. He looked at her with a passion in his eyes. "Well I've got news for you. He doesn't. He may think he does, but that's because he's an idiot. He doesn't even know what real love is. The truth is he only wants half of you. The half that's pretty and smiles. Does he even know this side of you?" He asked as his hand came to her face. "What about all the things you hide from him? How much would he love those things? Does he love when you're crying or angry? Which one of your flaws is his favorite? When you hate yourself what does he love about you?"
She huffed in frustration, tugging her chin away from his touch. "I don't understand you when you talk like this."
"No you do. You understand a little too well. That's why you hate it." He said, watching her carefully.
It wasn't fair. The way he got under her skin. The way he made her question everything, no matter how sure she was. Why did he choose these moments to be so passionate? It almost made her feel like his feelings toward her could be something real. Not just one of his little games. She didn't dare look at him. This close, she knew she'd look over his handsome face too long. She'd re sketch it in her mind, and it took so much time to erase...
"This isn't the person I want to be."
"How realistic is that? To never be sad, or angry or vulnerable? Vengeful?! You're basically saying you don't want to be human." He replied.
Tamina let out an exhausted sigh. Everything with him was either a game or a battle. "I can't keep doing this with you, Izaya." She told him softly.
She couldn't keep hearing him out. She couldn't keep seeing him and sneaking around like this. Mostly she couldn't continue to try and see things his way. When she did, she'd slip into his chaotic world, and that place was so difficult to escape.
When the tension was the thickest, Izaya's phone began to ring. After a moment he reached into his pocket and checked it. Tamina watched curiously.
"Well!" He suddenly said, his goofy facade returning in a blink. "I hate cutting things short, but I do have a job of my own. And my reputation with my clients is very important to me."
It was kind of disturbing. How he could just change like a switch. It just made Tamina feel even more crazy. Even more unsure. Was this giant man child even real? How often did he say what he actually meant? She would never know.
"I'll be in touch tomorrow." Izaya told her, moving to her window.
"Cant you just take the stairs?" She asked with a bit of anxiety.
He climbed out onto the fire escape. "This is faster." He replied before finally answering his phone. "Good evening! So nice to hear from you again! I have that information you requested.." She heard him saying while she watched him easily, almost unnaturally, climbed down the intimidating height. One handed no less. She let out an exhausted huff and slammed the window shut.
Tamina tossed and turned most of the night. So many things buzzed around in her head. It was really maddening. She had to deal with her step father. Soon. And the Awakusu's might just help her with the trust she'd built by now... Then there was that moment with Izaya. His clear anger and passion. Why could he still provoke her, even after all this time? It was wrong. Wrong, wrong wrong.
She watched the hours tick by. Two AM came and went. Then three. At four she kicked the blankets off and grabbed her stuff. After the night she had and all the doubts that were creeping into her, there was only one place she wanted to be. And that place was a person. Warm, strong and safe. They were getting off work right about now...
Shizuo stifled a yawn as he fussed with his apartment key. The lock was tricky, more then likely due to the multiple slams the door had endured. His brow was just growing tight with irritation when it finally unlocked. It had been a long shift at work and he was ready for some sleep.
He kicked the door shut behind him and loosened his tie. Strangely though, it seemed as soon as the door was shut a soft knock came. He blinked, turning to reopen it.
"Hey!" He was enthusiastic to see Tamina waiting for him on the other side. "Is everything okay?" Though he was happy to see her, he had no idea what would bring her here at this time. She should be at home in bed herself!
"Yeah." She told him right away, forcing a warm smile. "I just missed you."
The brief worry he had melted away. "I missed you too..." He invited her inside, a good amount of his fatigue leaving him. Apparently he wouldn't be sleeping just yet...
If there was one thing Tamina loved, it was laying in bed until afternoon. And that's just what they had done. There had been some sleep. But only some...
And if there was something that she loved even more than that, it was a back massage. She let out a long content sigh as Shizuo's fingers kneaded into her back. As apprehensive as he was to touch her in the beginning, his hands moved over the slope of her lower back to her butt skillfully, much to her ever sated pleasure. A grin painted his face as he navigated her body with familiarity that was slow built but immensely satisfying. The sight of her bare skin against his sheets was painted vividly into his mind, to visit later whenever he liked. A truly peaceful thought for moments when he needed it most.
He leaned down and planted soft kisses down her spine. The sensation this gave her caused her head to roll and a low moan to resonate from her throat. He grinned against her skin, pleased with the reactions he could provoke. He grew more confident every time they were together and he so looked forward to what he'd do confidently next. He had a few ideas...
A buzzing sound.
Shizuo pulled away and made a displeased face while Tamina remained firmly planted in the bed, completely unaware. It was her phone again. This 'Nakura'. He could clearly see the missed calls displayed on her screen. They had called a lot yesterday too. It sounded masculine, but he couldn't be sure if they were a male of female. Why in the hell did they call her so much? And why had she never mentioned someone of that name? A familiar irritation began to creep through his skin. He suppressed it though. He fiercely bit back the urge to be annoyed and decided to simply ask.
"Who's Nakura?"
Tamina felt her body tense up. She couldn't help the sharp breath she drew in. She hadn't expected his sudden question and it literally knocked the wind out of her. It didn't go unnoticed either. Shizuo's hand stopped traveling down her back and it was clear her was even more interested in an answer now.
This would be the best time, she thought. She could confess all the things that had happened before they had gotten serious. Some of it wasn't pretty but the past was the past and Shizuo had proven to be a rational person by now. Hadn't he?
But what about the things she had yet to do? Her intentions. What about her continued business with Izaya? Sure, he could be rational. But he could also be...well, the exact opposite.
"He..." She started to say, but her words caught.
Why did the idea of telling him the truth scare her so much? Why did she suddenly remember how strong and violent he could be? That day in the city streets when he ripped out a light post and hurled it at Izaya like it was nothing... She had laid here in his bed, so content under his touch, his fingers and hands gentle and safe. What would happen if certain things came to light? Shizuo seemed to only see the good in her. What if the worst in her broke his heart? And what would a volatile man like him do with a broken heart? She didn't know how to explain the truth. So instead...
"He's just an old acquaintance. Not even a friend." She lied...
It seemed a sore subject, and Shizuo wasn't in the habit of pushing her, but lately he had a lot of questions. She was never keen on talking about her past in recent years or what had brought her to Ikebukuro. But he thought it might change as they got to know each other. There seemed to be a big blank spot in her life right before coming here, and he wondered if maybe she'd been in some kind of trouble with family or otherwise. She had mentioned briefly that she and her family weren't on good terms.
"He calls a lot." He felt compelled to comment. Certainly more than someone who 'wasn't a friend' should.
"It's nothing." Tamina finally regained a bit of composure, pushing off the bed to sit up. She could tell by his face that that answer didn't entirely satisfy him. Desperate for a change in subject she just smiled and leaned in with a nice deep kiss.
He felt like it was a distraction. And damned if it didn't work. He melted against her mouth, giving in to her every request as he always did. He didn't want to think of her taking advantage of that. It wasn't much justification for brushing it off, but he tried to, all the same.
She pulled away and planted another small, playful kiss on his nose. "I have to get ready." She told him. It was getting late and she had things to do for both jobs. She scooted to the edge of the bed and stood, having a good stretch before she made her way to his bathroom. Shizuo found himself distracted again, watching her nude form leave.
Tamina let out a relieved breath when she entered the bathroom. That was close.
Shizuo was about to get dressed himself when Tamina's phone caught his attention again. He glanced over as it vibrated and chirped, snorting irately. If this was that Nakura calling again...
When he looked at the screen he realized that it wasn't a phone call, but a text message.
The message only displayed for a moment while the screen was illuminated but what he thought he read was: "Stop fooling around with Shizu-chan and-" Then it went dark with idleness again.
A cold feeling ran through Shizuo's body. His fists involuntarily gripped and his breath caught in his chest. The name wasn't the same. In fact he'd never heard of a Nakura. But there was only one person in the world...-
"I'll try to call you between jobs if I can."
Tamina's voice surprised him. He'd been so consumed in thoughts he hadn't heard her exit the bathroom. He glanced back at her, meeting those big beautiful eyes he loved. But they didn't provide the comfort they usually did. Instead he felt pained, forcing himself to keep composure. His thoughts were so scattered. He didn't trust himself to speak.
She noticed, looking at him curiously. "Are you okay?"
He didn't want confrontation. And besides confrontation he had no idea how to handle a situation. He hadn't had much practice dealing with things rationally. But for her, as he always did, he tried. He pushed it all to the back of his mind and forced a weak smile onto his face. "Yeah."
She knew he wasn't being entirely honest. But she knew that she wasn't either. This was the first time she felt this kind of tension between them and it startled her. Caught between a rock and a hard place, she felt like there was nothing better to do than move on. She was going to be late.
"Okay, well, I'll talk to you later." She pressed in and stood on her toes to give him a kiss goodbye.
He leaned in without hesitation and kissed her, but it felt strange. It wasn't a quick peck of a goodbye and it wasn't as longing as an 'I'll miss you.' He kissed her deeply and slowly. It seemed like he needed it. Desperately. Like he was afraid of losing it. She happily complied, wrapping her arms around his neck and lulling her head to the side. It was much longer then their typical goodbyes...
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See you in the next chapter!
