Authors Notes: Hey there friends! Forever completely and utterly grateful for all of the amazing feedback I get via reviews/favorites/ follows. I'm basically over here nonsensically throwing my creativity into the void of the internet so I can't thank you enough for validating me. I appreciate it so much.
So! I survived the tumblr purge! I'm closing up a match up event I did on my DRRR tumblr for over 500 followers but I'll try to do something a little bigger for my next milestone. I'll also be posting review replies over there.
I'm on AOT and WattPad too, which will likely become my main platforms in the future. All links are in my bio so please follow!
My beta reader has my next WIP, which will be another Durarara story involving Akabayashi and a fem OC with mucho NSFW content, so I'll hopefully have that up shortly too.
Thanks again for your love and patience and please enjoy!
Tamina shifted her weight from foot to foot anxiously in the Awakusu kitchen. She had made quick work of the to do list and hoped she'd run into Mrs. Awakusu if she stuck around a little longer than usual. She was the only person she felt comfortable enough with to talk about the issue. She even did a few extra things she could think of. There was some dusting that needed to be done and the front windows needed a good wipe down. Despite her attempts to stall, the lady of the Yakuza did not show.
All the while her mind was plagued. She thought about the exchange that she had had with Shizuo earlier. It stung every time she thought of the encounter. It was clear something was troubling him when she had left. That accompanied by the nonsense Izaya had put in her head. It all had her uneasy. She felt as if she were on the precipice of something. What, she didn't know. But it certainly didn't feel good. An awful feeling that finally put an abrupt end to the bliss she'd had in recent weeks.
She checked the time once more and let out a sigh. Maybe she could try again tomorrow... She grabbed her bag and began toward the door but blinked when she heard something. When she focused she could hear the faint sound of a TV. Until this point she thought she was alone in the house. There was only one other person who could be home... She moved back into the space and checked down the long hall. Now she was sure.
She put her bag back down and walked slowly down the hall. "Akane?" She called as she gave a light knock on the door. There was no response. Just some shuffling inside. After a long pause Tamina tried again. "I can hear you." She said playfully. Still nothing. "I didn't know you were home. I would have-"
"Go away." Akane's voice came harshly.
Tamina was startled to hear the words. She hadn't expected such a tone. "Akane, what's wrong?" She asked with worry. There was another long silence. "Can I come in?"
After what seemed like forever, Akane replied softly. "Fine."
Tamina anxiously pulled the door open. The room was dark besides the flickering of the television. When her eyes adjusted she found Akane sitting on her bed, hugging her knees. The face she wore was a far cry from the sweet, baby faced girl Tamina had come to know. "Are you okay?" She asked as she approached the bed.
"I'm fine." Akane replied curtly, halting Tamina in her tracks.
It was like she wasn't even the same person. The words of her mother rung in Tamina's head, but what kind of 'faze' would cause Akane to act like this? "What's wrong Akane? You can tell me."
"Why? So you can lie to me some more? Just like my parents?" The girl retorted sharply.
Tamina was taken aback again. "What do you mea-"
"Stop it!" Akane shouted before she could finish. "I know everything now. I know about my family. I know everything I've ever thought is a lie. I know you're only nice to me because of my family."
The realization hit Tamina, and suddenly the girls anger made sense. "No, Akane, that's not tru-." She tried to protest.
"Just leave me alone!" Akane shouted at her in a fit, throwing herself down on her mattress and turning away. Her soft crying soon followed. Tamina fell silent. "You don't really care about me." The child said in sobs.
Tamina didn't know what to do. No words came. Should she apologize? Should she explain herself? She hadn't meant to hurt this sweet girl. She had only done what she was told.
Something about the exchange spiked her emotions. From her exchange with Izaya and Shizuo to the greater conflict that she battled with. Something about failing this little girl set off a chain of self loathing thoughts. She could do nothing more but step back a few paces until she met the door. She swiftly turned and exited.
She snatched her bag off the counter in the kitchen and rushed toward the front door, hoping to at least make it out of the house before the burning in her eyes caused her tears to flow freely. She halted though when the front door swung open and Mr. Awakusu strode in. Her body pivoted away to obscure her face so she could quickly wipe her moist eyes. "Good afternoon sir." She managed to blurt in a painfully composed voice.
"Good afternoon." He replied flatly as he removed his shoes. "Glad I caught you. Looks like it's about to storm, so take the car outside." He instructed.
Despite his cold demeanor, the boss did appreciate the girl and looked out for his own. He tipped her handsomely and frequently insisted on providing her transport. If the mood were different Tamina might feel a warmness from the gesture.
"Thank you sir." She replied softly, and made her way outside.
He watched after curiously when the usually nice girl left so quickly and quietly but shrugged it off. Seemed like all the women in his life were stressed lately. If she had stuck around an extra second he could have told her about the associate that wanted a word with her... But she'd find out either way.
Tamina shuffled down the stairs and quickly climbed into the car waiting at the gate. She figured the driver knew her by now so she was quiet. She was startled when she noticed she wasn't alone in the backseat. "Oh, I'm sorry! Mr. Awakusu told me-"
"No worries! I'm your escort for the day!" The sharply dressed man told her cheerfully. "My name is Akabayashi. It's nice to finally meet you Miss Tamina."
Tamina nervously shook his extended hand. She didn't mean to act this way but these gangsters just made her so damn nervous! Before she could react the door shut behind her and they were under way. No escape.
"I heard Miss Akane has nothing but good things to say about you. I'd like to extend my personal gratitude. Little Akane is very near and dear to me, so I greatly appreciate anyone who looks out for her." Akabayashi mused.
"Oh, well, it's no trouble at all. She's a sweet girl." Tamina said.
"That's kind of my thing. I like to look out for people. A lot of young ladies around here. And I mean that in the most chivalrous way, of course." He explained. "I'd like to look out for you, Miss Tamina."
"Uhm, okay. How?"
"Well, I just find your story very interesting. You hooked up with our company on the recommendation of Izaya Orihara, is that right?"
"That's right." She replied, her tone becoming a bit more weary.
"Because you look after his sisters..."
"Correct." She clarified.
"You pal around with those Dollars kids too, am I right?" Tamina fell silent, mostly because of her nerves. But he went on. "And I understand you're involved with Shizuo Heiwajima. A lot of folks around here seem to think he's a pretty intense guy."
"Am I in trouble?" She asked, clearly uneasy.
He laughed a bit. "Of course not! I told you, I'm just looking out for you. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. But you've surrounded yourself with some pretty conspicuous people. Enough to pop up on my radar. I like to keep you kids on the straight and narrow if I can."
"Well, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern." She tried to convey a polite tone of finality.
"I believe ya. No worries. Like I said, I didn't come here to parent ya. Just introducing myself and letting you know I'll have eyes on you."
Her tension was clear in her stiffness.
He laughed again. "Geez, am I that scary? What I mean is, I've got your back." She finally looked relieved. "If you're ever in a bind or if anyone gives you trouble," He reached into his jacket and pulled out his business card to hand to her. "Just give me a call and I'll take care of it."
Tamina took the card and stared at him, eyes wide. Had he just done what she thought he'd done? She'd driven herself nearly crazy trying to figure out how she'd get the favor she needed from the Yakuza. And this man that she just met had literally just handed it to her. She was overwhelmed.
Akabayashi seemed to notice her hesitation. "Is someone giving you trouble?" He asked. Quiet. "You can tell me."
There it was. He'd made it as plain as possible. If she told this man about her step father and the things he was up to, she knew his days would be numbered. All of it would go away. Her lips parted to speak. But why didn't anything come out?
The light rain in the city turned into a downpour.
"She wants to meet soon. What are you going to do about that?"
"I won't be meeting with her directly. I'll send a stand in."
"A stand in, huh?"
"The stand in should make arrangements to meet her somewhere inconspicuous. Like a cafe."
"Right. I'm sure the stand in knows of a lot of grade school cafes."
"The stand in should probably limit their sarcasm. They want to seem approachable."
"The stand in might be getting a little sick of their employers bullshit."
"The stand in is more then welcome to get their resume out there if they're unhappy with their employment. With such a competitive pay grade..." Izaya trailed off, knowing he didn't need to go any further. He finished their banter as he typically did. Playfully backing Namie into a corner. Cat and mouse.
"Whatever." Namie replied, clearly irritated. She pulled the front door of Izaya's apartment open, more then happy to let that serve as her 'good night' for the evening. "Holy shit!" She exclaimed, clutching a hand to her chest when she was immediately greeted by the soaking wet girl who waited on the other side of the door. "What is wrong with you?" She practically shouted at her. When Tamina didn't immediately respond Namie cast an accusing glance back at Izaya.
"Hey, don't look at me." Izaya defended, but his entertained expression had her skeptical. "If I knew she was coming you know I'd have you make preparations."
Tamina ignored their arguing and welcomed herself into Izaya's apartment.
Namie finally hissed, casting one more disgusted glance toward Tamina. "Well, you couldn't pay me to stay another minute so good luck." With that she left, tossing the door carelessly shut behind her.
Izaya approached Tamina with a curious smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Come on, have a seat!" He grasped her forearm to guide her to the couch and when he did he realized how thoroughly soaked she was. His grip expressed a 'squirt' from her saturated clothes that surprised him. "Why are you so wet?" He asked.
"I walked." She said quietly.
"From where?"
"My apartment."
"That would take you over an hour!" He said with some disbelief.
She sat on the couch, but offered no further explanation then a nod.
He left her momentarily to retrieve some towels. He tossed one to her but she just shifted when it collided with her, far too cold and distracted to make the catch.
When he came back to the couch he draped the other towel over her and took a seat. "Ready to tell me what's going on? Or is psychrophilia a new thing? Because I can think of a lot of better ways to-"
"Mr. Akabayashi offered me a favor." She told him suddenly.
"Great! What's the plan?" There was a long silence between them. One that made it clear that there wasn't a plan. Unsure, Izaya pressed. "Did you do it?"
Quiet again. He watched her carefully. She was trying to hold it together, but it seemed the flood gates would soon burst open.
"I can't." Her voice finally came, cracked and pitiful.
"I don't understand." Izaya said, clearly confused.
"I just can't." She said a bit louder.
"Then what was the point of all of this?" He asked. "If you don't get rid of him-"
"I know! I know!" She cried, finally letting the little composure she had crack. "I know I'm the worst human being alive!" She sobbed. "I know anybody else could look at the situation and make the right choice. I know I'm a fucking selfish coward. I just can't have some one killed. I can't change myself like that. I thought I could but I-...I can't- " She trailed off, starting to cry too uncontrollably to talk.
She was lost. Hysterical. Spiraling the drain. Every part of her hurt. Head spinning. Stomach in her feet. And no end in sight. No resolution. Circles. From this day until her last.
Izaya loved all her emotional ups and downs. It's what had kept him so invested in her. The way she cried unapologetically in front of him was beautiful in a poetic and tragic kind of way. Yet, after a few moments of watching her he found himself starkly surprised. His analytical mind slowed. In all of his human watching, he'd never felt compelled to truly console someone.
He'd seen many panic attacks in his day. This one was by far the most beautiful. In sight. In depth. It was damn near Shakespearean. He was glad to have seen it. And yet, now he wanted it to stop.
"Hey, calm down." He said gently.
"I can't." She whined trying to control the short, hard involuntary breaths that her hysteria had brought on.
"Are you going to be mad if I hug you?" He asked.
"Probably."
He didn't seem to care. He tugged her by the forearm and pulled her into his tight embrace.
There were plenty of others who would welcome her into their arms. They'd listen if she asked or needed. But that would require something of her that she wasn't willing to give, despite herself. Something she'd given to Izaya so long ago. Before she realized how precious and hard to understand it was.
His warmth around her and his smell filling her nostrils. It made her feel something deep inside. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. Not since the last time she had felt completely hopeless. This was the only place she could cry like this. And he was the only person who could hold her knowing the full weight she carried. It was another dark night in her life where her heart was heavy. Another night she needed him to pull her through.
Izaya was remembering those nights too for some reason. Maybe it was the way she sounded crying so close to his ear. It was like how he used to hear it through a phone. Back when she was just a name and picture on the internet and a voice through a speaker. He wondered how much insight into human behavior she'd gifted him back then with her tearful late night confessions. In hind sight he realized a good deal of his deeper and more intimate of human observations had been through her. He'd chosen her over and over again. For better or worse. And more often then not, she did the same with him...
She wasn't sure how long the hug lasted. She clung to him, as if she'd be swept away if she didn't. A soothing hand stroked her back and little by little started to ease the horrible episode. She took in slower breaths to further calm herself and every breath of his familiar smell helped all the more.
Finally it seemed she relaxed enough to think a bit better about enjoying him so close. She leaned away and he reluctantly released her.
"Well," He said in an odd tone. "Thanks for that."
She blinked through her left over tears and when she focused noticed that she'd left a wet spot of tears and snot all over his black shirt. "I'm so sorry." She immediately apologized, wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt.
"It's fine." He said, a hint of a chuckle in his voice. "But you're shaking..." He observed. He'd noticed the suspicious blue hue to her lips. Consumed in her meltdown she probably didn't even realize she was freezing. "Come on." He ordered, pulling her up off the couch by her arm.
She complied and stood, though she didn't appreciate his tugging. "What?"
"You need to warm up." He told her as he lead her upstairs.
She let her feet drag with reluctance but she couldn't deny her discomfort. She knew he was leading her to the shower. Wearily she followed. He lead her to the second floor and down the familiar hall. She didn't like how the scenery tickled her senses.
Once they made it to the bathroom Izaya turned on the shower and went about setting the temperature. Tamina's crying had mostly tapered off . She approached the sink and ran some water to cup and rub over her face. A soft sigh escaped at the soothing feeling of coolness on her swollen eyes. When she finally looked up into the mirror she barely recognized herself. She was so disheveled. Her face was red. Her lips puffy, and eyes glossy and red. Her hair looked pretty gross too. She looked like hell but she supposed the visual was appropriate for how she felt on the inside. A complete mess.
Lost in thought she hadn't noticed Izaya had been watching her. Her eyes caught his in the reflection. "Stop." She turned away, obscuring her face with a hand slightly embarrassed. "I look crazy."
He shook his head, a strange smile on his face. "You look beautiful."
She scoffed at that, sure he must be kidding. "How is this in any way beautiful?"
Izaya shrugged. "I don't know." He seemed to think on it. "Like how a storm is..."
Steam quickly fogged the shower glass. After Tamina peeled off her clothes and stepped inside she raised the temperature considerably, letting the piping hot water warm her bones. The heat soothed her skin while she pressed her forehead to the much cooler tiles. What the hell was she doing here? With him. Again.
Her attention was drawn to the sound of the bathroom door opening. "Izaya..." She warned.
"I'm not looking!" He proclaimed. She could see through the fogged glass that he was obscuring his eyes with a hand. He bent down and gathered her wet clothes for the dryer. Still, she cupped a hand to her breasts and turned her body away. She wasn't sure why. It wasn't like it was new to him. He'd seen her naked form... She'd used this shower before... She huffed, pushing those intimate memories back.
"And here!" He added, knocking on the counter. He exited the bathroom soon after.
Curiously, Tamina peaked out, pulling the sliding glass door open. There was a rather inviting glass of red wine waiting for her near the sink.
It was a dry red. Pinot Noir no doubt. He knew it was her favorite. It tasted expensive. She helped herself to every last drop, thoroughly enjoying the luxury of Izaya's shower. This also reminded her why she loved red wine so much... One heaping glass and she was in a completely different state of mind...
"I'm not wearing this!" Tamina called downstairs.
"That's fine with me!" Izaya called back from his place on the couch idling flipping channels. "You can wear a towel while you wait. Or nothing at all! No need to be shy!"
A short while later he watched her reluctantly descend the stairs, his lips curling into a small smirk. His black tshirt looked like a proud flag on her body to him. It came to her thighs and she shyly tugged it down further with her fingertips, though her plump butt cheeks still peeked out in the back. He tried not to make his preoccupation with this obvious as she walked past.
She made her way into the kitchen and helped herself to another glass of wine, then returned to quietly sit next to him on the couch.
"Feeling better?" He asked, lowering the volume on the TV.
"A little." She admitted. "But I can't stay here."
He shrugged. "I don't see why not but if you insist I'll get you a cab when your clothes dry."
"Thank you." She replied softly.
"So," He leaned back, folding his arms behind his head. "What now?"
She took a long sip of her wine. "I'll go to the police after the long weekend."
"What good is that going to do?" He questioned skeptically.
"I don't know."
"It'll be your word against his. What if no one else will come forward to testify?"
"I don't know."
"What if he just gets away with it? He could start harassing you. Or worse."
She'd said it twice before. She wasn't going to say it a third time.
"So, that's it?" He finally asked.
She sighed heavily. "It has to be. It's what I should have done a long time ago. If nothing comes of it, I guess it's just my punishment for not acting sooner." She said with a good degree of self loathing, taking another long sip of wine.
He could see the glaze beginning in her eyes and knew she was feeling the affects of the wine. Her finally relaxed form was all the more evidence. "You'll feel different tomorrow." He dismissed.
Tamina shook her head. "No I won't. Nothing will make killing him okay."
"Why?"
"Because it'll take my soul." She realized her words sounded like nonsense after they came out. "Or change it. Or make it bad." She tried to explain. "Isn't that the most stupid thing you've ever heard?" She asked. "Being scared for your soul?" She wiped her eyes to push the familiar welling feeling back down, forcing a laugh to cope.
"It's not stupid." He immediately told her in a surprisingly sincere tone. "In fact, I believe in that very thing. Protecting your soul."
"You're teasing me."
"I'm not." He insisted. "I was actually thinking of a premise about that recently. The cost of a human soul. Which ones can be bought and which ones can't."
"And your thoughts?" She asked with mild curiosity, taking another long sip.
"Just that. Some can. Some can't. It's random."
"How perceptive of you."
"The only way you really know is by putting them to the test."
"Ah. Que your grand prerogative." She said with another sip.
They both fell quiet. The sound of the TV took over the space. Tamina swirled the last mouthful of wine in her glass, watching it slosh around the edges before finishing it off. Was she really two glasses deep already?
She placed the empty glass on the table, then slumped back against the couch. They were close but she didn't mind in this moment, nonchalantly enjoying his warmth against her bare legs. In her haziness she even lulled her head to the side, letting her cheek rest against his shoulder. "What about you, Izaya?" Her words were a bit slurred now. "Who is testing your soul?"
Pressed against her on his couch, burning everywhere they touched, he felt strangely vulnerable. Under most circumstances he knew that wouldn't be good at all. But right now, it was kind of liberating. "I think we both know." He said softly.
She half expected his answer. But the other half seemed to crumble. It was strange. She was so filled with emotions from the day. Now she was wine drunk. She felt like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole where nothing made sense. Tears softly started to flow again.
"Why are you crying now?" Izaya asked right away.
She let out a soft laugh despite her tears. "I don't even know at this point." And she honestly didn't. It all started to blur together. Her transgressions. Her soul. His soul. Everything that kept them coming back to moments like this. "Please tell me what to do." She finally pleaded.
"I told you, I'm not going to-"
"Izaya, please." Her voice threatened to crack again. "If you have any affection for me. If I mean anything to you at all. Just give me the key to this stupid puzzle..." The tears flowed more freely as she began to lose herself again.
It staggered Izaya, how hard he had to think about her words. How strongly they called for his action. No matter how invested he'd been in anyone before, this was a stark change. As omnipotent as he could be, a very human cord was struck. One he felt somewhere deep inside. He was startled to think that all of this play had betrayed him, and this feeling was irrevocably rooted in his heart. His lips parted to speak.
"I'm just...resting my eyes..." She slurred, leaning completely against him. Her cheek was sweet and rounded where it was pressed to his shoulder and her eyes drifted shut despite their wetness, giving in to her desperate need for sleep. The stresses of the day had taken their toll and the wine certainly helped. He watched wordlessly as her breathing quickly evened out.
Part of him was relieved. He wasn't sure what he had planned to say to her. What he would have confessed. It wasn't like him to deviate from his set course of action and it was becoming more clear that Tamina held power over him too.
He looked her over once more, breathing a heavy sigh, then leaning in to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.
The light hit Tamina's face at an angle she wasn't used to. When she attempted to roll away from the disruption she found she wasn't in a familiar bed either. A couch in fact. Immediately after this realization hit her mind, she remembered.
"Shit!" She blurted, pushing up, eyes darting around for her phone. It was bright in Izaya's living room, so it took a moment to focus on her belongings on the coffee table. Her clothes, dry and neatly folded with her cell on top. She snatched her phone and groaned when she found it dead. After scanning the room she found the time on the cable box. It was almost noon! Shizuo had probably tried to reach her all night. They had plans for brunch and spending the afternoon together before he went to work late.
Just as she finished hurriedly tugging her clothes on she heard Izaya's voice. "I'm guessing you need a ride?" He asked as he descended from the second floor with his jacket on. "I was just heading to Ikebukuro to meet a client."
"This is fine." Tamina said to the driver as they waited in the heavy city traffic.
"It's just a few more blocks." Izaya told her.
"This is fine." She said again more sternly before pushing out of the car. She weaved through cars until she made it to the side walk, then took off down the block. There was no way she could be seen with Izaya, no matter what.
It was late. So late. Would Shizuo even be there? She practically sprinted down the busy streets toward one of their favorite restaurants. Her breath burned in her throat but she kept running. It pained her to think of him waiting for her a moment longer.
She rounded the corner and there he was, crouched down outside waiting, where he had been since they were supposed to meet... He looked up when he noticed her.
"I'm so sorry." She began to apologize as she approached. "I had this thing with work..." She trailed off, mind racing. She hadn't even thought of what excuse she'd tell him. There was nothing coming to mind now as she faced him.
She was uneasy when he didn't immediately say anything. He looked her over with a strange expression. Her eyes panned down to herself and she realized with a horror that she was in the same clothes she had been in yesterday morning when she had left him. How much more suspicious could she get?
Shizuo had been there since they were supposed to meet. Cigarette butts littered the ground around his feet. Their encounter yesterday had been strange and left an awful taste in his mouth. Tamina hadn't returned any of his calls or texts since. He had a bad feeling about all of it. He was worried, of course, but underneath he felt a certain nagging. There was a long silence between them as he looked her over.
It was obvious she was lying. And it was obvious she hadn't been home since yesterday. There was no doubt now. She was hiding something from him. It seemed it might be just as serious as he feared. He couldn't bury the hurt this time. It bubbled at the surface, threatening to overflow and become something more. Anger. Rage. Chaos. Regret.
"Do you want to get something to eat?" She asked, nervous by his silence.
"I'm not hungry." Was all he managed to reply. She grimaced at his tone. It was so quick and impatient.
Seeing her sweet face and all of the memories that came with it kept him from going over the edge. He silently tried to reel himself in. This was Tamina. His Tamina. He could never explode on her. He wouldn't... The overwhelming love he had for her was the only thing keeping things together right now.
A thick group of commuters began to move past them on the sidewalk. One business man spoke loudly into his phone over the sounds of the busy city. In his distraction he shoved right past Tamina, causing her to express a surprised grunt. It was horribly rude, but nothing she payed any mind to.
For Shizuo, however, it was the little push he needed to go over the edge.
"Hey!" He shouted snatching the stranger roughly by his shirt.
The man gasped and dropped his phone, unaware of what he had even done. "I'm s-sorry, I-" He stammered.
Shizuo gave him a powerful shake, knocking the wind right out of him. "I'm the wrong one to apologize to!"
Tamina watched in horror. It had been so long since she'd seen Shizuo's temper. She'd nearly forgotten how absolutely terrifying he could be. The sweet man she'd made love to countless times was a far cry from this.
"Shizuo, stop!" She shouted at him, rushing to his side.
He didn't even seem to notice her, giving the business man another shake. "Why don't you watch where you're going! Walking around like you own the whole damn sidewalk! You could hurt someone!"
Tamina grabbed Shizuo's arm. "Shizuo!" She practically screamed at him. Finally he looked to her. "Please, stop." She begged, clearly shaken.
She had that look on her face. The one that he hated. Complete fear. Looking into her wide, scared eyes, he could feel the years of self loathing that she had suppressed rush back. He growled, shoving the businessman away. "Get the hell out of here!" He yelled after the man stumbling away.
Tamina wasn't sure what to say after such an outburst. He had sworn to her up and down that he wasn't a violent person. That he hated being violent. Nothing that had happened in the last few weeks had caused her to question that. But now a certain fear was creeping back into her. One she had thought she had long buried.
"Tamina." Shizuo said, a clear edge to his voice. He'd never used her name in an non affectionate way, and hearing the sound leave his lips, she knew something had changed between them. "I need to know what the hell is going on."
She sunk into herself. There was still softness in him because of his love for her but it was clear it was strained. His brow was tight and his eyes were fixed. There wasn't going to be any talking her way out of this. If things were going to work out between them, she had to be honest with him about everything. She didn't know how he'd take all of it. Her stepfather and what he was up to. Her intentions to resolve it by putting a hit on him. Her business with Izaya...
It was going to suck. It was going to more than suck. But she couldn't stand the idea of lying to him more. He already looked so anxious and hurt. He didn't deserve that... No more running in circles. She had to face this head on.
"Okay." She said in an even tone, reaching out to grab his hand. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to make you upset. "
He softened immensely under her touch. His eyes became less tight but he listened intently.
"We'll talk about everything." She assured him. "There were things I was scared to tell you but that was wrong. Let's go back to your place so I can explain everything."
Shizuo nodded in wordless agreement.
Their walk was quiet and tense. Tamina couldn't hide how nervous she was. She was practically shaking. The way Shizuo had grabbed that grown man and yanked him around like a rag doll made all of her fears come to a head. After she told him everything she needed to tell him who would be the first target of his rage? Her stepfather? Izaya? Herself?
She glanced over her shoulder and stopped when she realized he wasn't keeping pace with her anymore. "What?" She questioned, following his gaze that was sharply fixed down the street. She felt a chill when she focused on his target.
Izaya was just a block down, getting some kind of food from a street vendor, completely oblivious to their eyes on him. She realized the predatory lock Shizuo had on him. "He's not doing anything. Don't bother." She tried to say dismissively, grasping Shizuo's sleeve and tugging to pull him along. She found him unmovable though.
"He shouldn't be here." Shizuo said coldly, his narrow gaze never leaving the man down the street.
She tried to grab his hand again but found him completely unresponsive to her touch now. "Shizuo, please. Let's go." She begged.
Her sweetness always swayed him. Her endearing voice had always been able to bring him down when his mind started to race. But not today. Today it was a wild fire, catching from one thing to the next. "You said you worked with Izaya's sisters, that was the extent of you business with him now, right?" He asked, his tone blunt and sharp. Tamina hesitated. He could feel his blood boiling, still watching the scumbag. "Right?" He asked again, clearly growing more irate.
"We're going to talk about that." She finally replied nervously.
"Talk about what?" He pressed.
She hesitated. "About..-"
"About the truth?" He demanded. "About Nakura?!" He practically shouted at her.
Now she didn't know where to hide. Words wouldn't come out. She'd never had someone raise their voice to her in such a way and all she could do was crumble. She fought the tears brimming at the corners of her eyes.
Shizuo stalked away. She thought he was leaving her right then and there in the busy streets. Maybe he needed time or space to get his head together. She desperately hoped so. But to her horror, he instead approached a nearby vending machine, grabbing it and swiftly lifting it over his head.
"Sh-Shizuo..." She stammered before the unbelievable sight.
He would never hurt her. That's all she kept telling herself as she watched him, knees trembling. He would never hurt her. He loved her. She clung to that thought.
Just when she thought he might actually attack her, he pivoted and it was clear who his intended target was. She wouldn't think it possible if she hadn't seen it herself. The way his fingertips crushed the metal where he gripped the machine. The way he hurled the massive, heavy object such an impossible distance. It took her breath away.
"Izaya!" She shouted in warning as loudly as her lungs could.
The raven haired man's head whipped toward the source of his name. His eyes caught the vending machine hurling at him just in time for him to pivot his body to avoid it. The machine crashed loudly right where he had stood just a moment before, skidding and eventually grinding to a halt in the middle of the street. Cars slowed to a stop and confusion ensued at the disruption in busy commuter traffic.
Tamina watched the building chaos feeling with a fear that the events were only just beginning to escalate. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. A hit like that would have obliterated Izaya. He could be awful but he was still a person. Yet Shizuo didn't regard him like that. He saw him as a bug to be crushed, and he gave no care to the consequences.
"What is wrong with you?!" She shouted in a tone she'd never used with her boyfriend before.
"Now you're protecting him?!" Shizuo bit back with a ferocity she hadn't expected.
"You could have killed someone..." She tried to reason.
"Yeah! I'm gonna kill him!"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Now, now, Shizu-chan." Izaya called, having made his way up the block to intervene in their confrontation. "That was a perfectly good cup of shaved ice you went and ruined."
"You'll be lucky if I don't ruin every damn piece of you by the time I'm done." Shizuo growled back.
He moved toward Izaya, feeling a familiar fire in his limbs, his rage making his body's power limitless. There was no more sense. There would be no more talking.
"Shizuo, please stop." Tamina pleaded, pressing her hands to his chest to try and halt him.
"Miss Takeda," She heard Izaya call in warning. "You should leave."
"No, you should!" She snapped back. "Shizuo, look at me! Shizuo!"
With what little control Shizuo had left, he grasped her small hands and untangled them from his shirt, gently but firmly pushing her to the side. He couldn't look her in the eye. His eyes were fixed on his target, and there was no deterring or calming him. Not even by her. Not anymore.
He broke into a sprint faster than Tamina could react. She tried to knot her hands in his shirt again to stop him but he slipped away from her fingers. She barely had time to blink before he was gone, giving chase to Izaya, destroying everything in his path.
The city was so thick with commuters on their lunch hour. It was impossible for Tamina to keep up with the rampage. She was able to follow the aftermath, coming across impossible devastation as she ran. That along with the distant shouting and commotion gave her a good idea of where the men were.
There was a lull in the fighting and Tamina came to a stop in front of Russia Sushi. For a moment she wasn't sure what direction to go. She felt like she was close. She looked through the crowds and listened hard for either one of their voices.
Shizuo's voice came booming from right across the street. Tamina didn't think. She turned toward the noise and ran. The sounds of destruction again. She was terrified of the outcome of their brawling. They could hurt an innocent bystander or ruin a local business. Or worse. Kill someone. Including each other. How had she let things get this bad?
Her mindless sprinting came at the cost of her sense. She didn't think as she ran toward Shizuo's voice. She didn't think when she moved out into traffic. Didn't have the sense to realize the traffic light had already changed. All of her awareness outside the two men was absent until she heard the sharp horn blaring and squealing breaks from the quickly oncoming car.
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