Thank you so much for all of the support last chapter - you all seriously make my day/week :)
*Please note the new content warnings for this chapter
Hetwazoietsals - Ah hello! I hope you enjoyed the updates! Thank you so much for your kind words :') I definitely don't want to drown everyone in the heavy stuff, so it makes me feel better that you don't think that happens haha. I'm glad you're enjoying this fic so far! There will for sure be flashbacks for Beca (next chapter is the first really big glimpse into the last ten years) and the Bellas will be back in a few chapters! And of course Chloe and Beca will get back to being Chloe and Beca :) Thank you so much for reading and for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
NJCE - Yes, that first flashback was from before they started dating! I'm trying to make all of the labeled 'x years ago' parts go in chronological order so fingers crossed for that haha. Your language is for sure appropriate though. AHAHA turtle. Ever since Beca said that that's all I can picture him as. Yes, the last ten years are definitely a mystery; our first major peek into Beca's life in LA is going to be next chapter! Beca has a long way to go unfortunately :( And hehe no comment on the first part of your comment ;) On to the second part - don't forget that Theo is in Europe and it's only been a few days! Beca flew in early Wednesday morning and it's Saturday now, and because Theo has had her under his control for so long, he doesn't really have any reason to believe that she would run. There's a little clarification in this chapter + the next one, and then these chapters in general just move really slow in terms of time. I hope they don't read slow lol. The drama is only going to get bigger as the fic progresses! And "why do I feel like Callie's gonna be one of the reason for Beca and Chloe to be close to each other again" - hehe interesting prediction :) Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and for reading and for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Icedragone - Theo is the worst and I hate him. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! Yeahhh Beca's definitely going to struggle with the whole talking to Chloe thing :( But she'll get there! Thank you so much for reading and for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Wolvezzz - Haha that's awesome, hopefully he wasn't as big of a jerk in the show as he is in this fic. That whole grocery store interaction was for sure world turning. I'm glad that you enjoyed all of their reactions - hopefully that continues through this chapter! So glad you're enjoying the fic! Thanks so much for reading and for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Guest (Feb.15) - Oh my goodness I had forgotten about all the relationships that just popped up! Yeah that totally didn't make any sense and yes Lux being valedictorian was even more out there lol. The show really was good but yeah, second season was a mess I agree. Totally agree with not liking the Lux/teacher storyline and the whole Bug thing with the proposal. Thanks so much for your vote of confidence and kind words! It's definitely been stuck in my mind since you first mentioned it, so I would say there is a high likelihood that I might be able to work on something along those lines!/ The last chapter was for sure more of a transition chapter, and there are definitely a few of those sprinkled in just because there are so many moving parts. But I will say that there are always going to be small details sprinkled about that will be important for later on ;) I'm glad you liked Stacie coming over! I wasn't sure if I was going to put it in but I'm glad I did! Yes, Chloe is for sure more upset than angry in Ch.4, which might change slightly in this chapter, but will quickly change back... I hope it ends up making sense. I agree 100% with what you said about once Chloe knows the whole story. Same with the rest of the Bellas. I'm so glad you're enjoying Aubrey's character! Characterization is definitely an area of writing that makes me nervous, so I appreciate it! Thanks so much for reading and for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
CJ3 - I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter and for your support! I hope you enjoy this chapter and Chloe's reaction :) Thanks so much for reading!
Ritchellexx - I'm so glad you're enjoying the fic! I hope you enjoy the Bechloe reunion (there will be more parts don't worry). Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Spookypotatoe - 100% yes and 100% agree. Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Jody1990 - *hiding emoji part 2*. Hehe I feel like the hiding emoji just might apply for this one. Next chapter is just the sobbing emoji (and maybe hiding so y'all don't come for me). Thanks so much for reading and for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
LifeAsWeKnowIt - Right! I'm ready for that too :( The healing is coming! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! I'm sorry for all the angst though :( I'm going to try and mix even a little bit of fluff in, but fair warning, it won't be for a couple of chapters. And omg! Thank you so much for your kind words! You are too kind. The answer to your question is in this chapter and definitely in the next chapter. And the heart to heart (or a version of it) will be next chapter too :) Thank you so much for your kind words and your support! I hope you had a great week and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Guest (Feb.16) - Omg you never have to apologize! I am glad you did bc I love reading your thoughts but please don't ever feel obligated! Ugh work and evaluations sound no fun I'm sorry :/ Hmm painful might have been the wrong choice of words - honestly I find awkward situations incredibly painful so like... yeah that combination for sure. Your thoughts/predictions about the dinner though... all a possibility that's all I'm going to say ;) Yes Aubrey for sure hung in there and I do feel bad for putting her in that situation, but it's tricky because she obviously wants to be there for Beca, and Chloe too. Callie and Henry will both be okay! It might be a little bit of a journey, but I promise both the kiddos will be safe and happy in the end :) Callie will probably play a bigger part than Henry especially because Henry is only 2 but they both have key roles in the future! Beca and Chloe reunite in this chapter but what I can't promise is not hurting your heart again :( BUT they will get better I swear. Ugh yes that turtle is horrible and my heart hurts every single time I write Beca's scenes. But she is on her way to being able to get some help and heal for sure. Don't forget that it's only Saturday and they flew in early Wednesday morning and that Theo is in Europe working! He's had Beca under his control for so long he really doesn't have any reason to believe she would leave. I'll clarify that a little this chapter and next chapter for sure! Thank you so much for reading and for your support! I hope you had a good week even with your work and evaluations, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 5
Content Warning: Brief mention of physical abuse. Implied domestic violence situation, abusive relationship. Brief mention of suicidal thoughts; presence of panic attack
Saturday evening comes far too quickly for Beca's liking. Before she knows it, she's sitting in the back of an Uber with Callie to her right and Henry on her lap on the way to Aubrey and Stacie's house outside of the city. Of course, Beca couldn't even afford to call her own Uber, so she is currently using Aubrey's account, and she can see the blonde's picture on the driver's phone.
"Mama?"
Beca glances down at Henry, who is looking up at her with his wide, blue eyes. "Yes, monkey?"
Henry plays with the legs of his stuffed alligator. "Where we goin'?"
"We're going to Aubrey's house for dinner, remember? I told you that before we left."
Callie turns to look at her after looking out the window. "Is Daddy going to be there?"
All of Friday and Saturday morning were relatively painless. Beca can tell that the kids are slowly adjusting to the apartment and have definitely started to come out of their shells more and more. However, with that, comes more questions about Theo's whereabouts, especially from her daughter. Henry has asked for him a few times, but over the last forty-eight hours or so, Callie has been asking time and time again about where her father is, and whether or not they can call him.
It kills Beca to not be able to tell her the truth. But, on the other hand, she also has no idea what she wants to tell Callie yet. It's not like she can tell her exactly what happened – she is only seven after all – but Beca knows that, eventually, she'll have to tell her something more substantial than 'he's working'. After all, he won't be in Europe working with another client forever, and, as much as Beca would like to hope and dream, she knows she isn't going to get out of his grasp this 'easily'.
"No, Cal, he's not going to be there."
Callie sighs, leaning back in her seat. "When can we talk to him?"
Beca takes her daughter's hand in her own, offering her a small smile. "I don't know, bug. Maybe soon."
A frown appears on the seven-year-old's face, keeping her attention focused on the houses that they drive by as they enter the suburbs. It takes only a few more minutes before the car pulls up in front of one at the end of a cul-de-sac, the driver looking expectantly in the rearview mirror. "There you go."
Beca reaches over to unbuckle her seatbelt as Callie does the same. "Thanks. Have a good one." They're out of the car for two seconds before he is peeling off to another customer. Beca pushes her sunglasses up on top of her hair as Henry squirms out of her grasp, sliding down so he can walk instead. Grabbing both his hand and Callie's, the trio stands staring at the quaint house in front of them.
The house is on the smaller side, but Beca is sure it costs a pretty penny considering the rather short commute into the city. The outside is painted a pristine white with a dark green door and matching shutters. The lawn is perfectly trimmed with shrubs and bushes lining the front of the house. There's a one-car garage to the right, and a stained fence lines what Beca assumes to be the backyard. Quite frankly, it's exactly the type of house that Beca would expect Aubrey to live in.
Taking a deep breath, Beca starts the short walk from the street, up to the front door. Callie walks slowly beside her, as Henry's little legs struggle to keep up with his mother and sister. Honestly, Beca isn't sure what to expect from this dinner. She knows that it's going to be awkward – how could it not be – and she also doesn't want to be trapped in a conversation that she can't get out of. Then there's the whole aspect of whether or not Callie and Henry will be comfortable in this new setting around these new people that is stressing her out. Most of all, Beca has no idea how she's going to sit in the same room as Chloe for multiple hours, without completely breaking down.
It's not going to be easy, that's for sure.
"Can you ring the doorbell, Callie?"
Excited to have a job, Beca's daughter eagerly presses the glowing button on the side of the door, but as soon as the sound rings through the house, Callie steps back against Beca's leg. It's a matter of seconds before the door swings open.
"You guys made it!" Stacie opens the door with a giant grin on her face, dressed comfortably in a pair of jeans and a loose sweater. The taller brunette takes in the family in front of her, completely absorbed with the sight of Beca Mitchell and her two kids. "Come in, come in!"
Beca takes a tentative step inside of the house, noticing almost immediately how both Callie and Henry's grip tighten around her hands. She forces a tight-lipped smile on her face. "Hey, Stacie." Beca's eyes flick around the inside of the house, the front entryway leads right into a living room to the left, and a dining room to the right. There are pictures covering the walls, and small pops of color that are so Stacie that they perfectly compliment Aubrey's sophistication. "Callie, Henry, this is Stacie. Stacie, this is Callie and Henry."
Somehow, Stacie seems to brighten even more. "It is so nice to meet you guys. Your Mama has told me so much about you."
Ignoring Stacie's false comment, Beca crouches down beside her kids, their nerves radiating off of them. "Can you guys say hi?" Henry buries his head into Beca's arm, while Callie's gaze just falls to the ground, giving both Stacie and Beca their answer. Beca sighs, turning back to Stacie. "Where's Aubrey?"
"She's in the kitchen with Bella and Chloe."
Beca's stomach lurches, lowering her voice so that only Stacie can hear her. "Chloe's already here?"
It takes everything in Stacie not to reach out and wrap Beca in a hug. Honestly, she's surprised that the brunette showed up. She knows how nervous Beca is, especially with Chloe being around (the redhead isn't doing too well either), but Stacie couldn't help but get excited when she heard the Uber pull up. "She is. She got here a little while ago to help Bella with a school project."
It took Beca a while to come to terms with this whole dinner… she only agreed to come over late Friday night. Now, standing here, with Chloe just in the other room, she's suddenly having major regrets. She lifts Henry back onto her hip, trying not to look as nervous as she feels.
Stacie picks up on it immediately. "No one is going to force you to talk about anything you aren't comfortable with."
Beca's heart rate picks up at the mere thought. "I'm not talking about anything in front of the kids."
Stacie holds her hands up in surrender. "Of course not." Both Stacie and Aubrey reassured Beca that they hadn't told Chloe anything about Theo. As far as they all know, all Chloe is aware of, is that Beca is here, in New York, without her husband. That doesn't mean that has stopped Chloe from asking questions, though. It hasn't stopped her from not believing Aubrey and Stacie for a second, or from being bitter with them when they won't say anything on the topic. Both halves of the married couple have been fielding various texts, phone calls, and visits from the effervescent redhead since she saw Beca in the grocery store. "Come on. I promise that it's going to be fine."
Before waiting for an answer, Stacie spins on her heel and starts to lead Beca and her kids through the living room. She breathes out a soft sigh of relief when she hears them following her; as much as she is excited that Beca is here, she has no idea how this night is going to go.
Aubrey gives Stacie a wary glance as she comes into the kitchen without their guests behind them, while Chloe has become incredibly focused on the counter in front of her. Stacie just gives her wife a reassuring smile, and addresses her daughter instead, "Hey, Bella, come here. I want you to meet someone."
Bella slides off of the counter stool, a half-eaten carrot stick in her hand. By the time she gets to her mom, Stacie resting her hands on her shoulders, everyone is left staring at Beca, Callie, and Henry, who are standing hesitantly in the doorway of the kitchen. Even Chloe lifts her gaze from the counter, her heart rate quickening at the sight of the brunette. Stacie bends down slightly so her face is close to her daughter's, but everyone can still hear what she says. "Bella, this is your Aunt Beca, and her kids Callie and Henry."
Beca, slightly taken aback by how she is introduced, gives the ten-year-old a small smile. She certainly has her mother's long limbs, and Beca wonders how tall she'll end up being, but the hair that falls far past her shoulders is much lighter than her mother's own locks. The pin-straight hair is almost a sandy blonde – closer to Aubrey's shade in fact – with a headband securing it away from her face. One thing's for sure: she's changed quite a bit since Beca has last seen her. "It's nice to meet you, Bella."
"You too," Bella gives the woman and her kids a small wave. Her moms had told her that they would be coming over for dinner, but neither one of the women seemed too keen on answering any more questions leading up to tonight. She turns her attention to the little girl standing against her mother's leg. "How old are you?"
Everyone's eyes fall to Callie, whose heart quickens at the various people waiting for an answer. She's met more people in the last three days than she has in the last three years, and she doesn't like it one bit. So, she stays silent, her grip tightening around her mother's hand, and practically leaning all of her weight into Beca's leg, begging her Mama to protect her.
Beca, knowing that everyone is waiting for her daughter's answer, gives the small hand in hers a light squeeze. "Callie, can you answer Bella?"
Callie gulps, her response coming out in a barely audible volume. "I'm seven."
If Bella is dissuaded by Callie's hesitance, she doesn't show it. Instead, she just nods. "That's cool. I'm ten, so I'm only a few years older than you."
The kitchen falls silent again, with Callie not wanting to draw any more attention to herself, and none of the adults really knowing what to say. So, always being one to take charge, Aubrey waves them further into the room. "Why don't you guys have a seat? Callie, Henry, do you want a snack or something to drink? Dinner will be ready soon, but maybe something to hold you over?"
Again, everyone waits patiently for the kids' response, but neither of them makes any effort to answer. Aubrey takes that as a no, and instead turns to their mom. "What about you, Beca? Can I get you a drink?"
"No, thank you, I'm fine." Beca shifts Henry on her hip, her lungs starting to struggle to fill with air as she knows what is coming next in the conversation. There truly is no way of avoiding it, and it's not like they can just stay on opposite sides of the room forever, even if that's what she would like. After a long internal battle, Beca forces herself to look up at Chloe. Navy blue orbs immediately meet the redhead's cerulean ones, and Beca can feel her mouth run dry. "Hey, Chloe."
Chloe, who has been completely mesmerized by the sight of Beca Mitchell skillfully tending to her two small children (and has been equally as focused on avoiding the brunette's line of sight), allows the corners of her mouth to be tugged up into a small, half-hearted, very not Chloe Beale, smile. "Hi."
Aubrey and Stacie wait with bated breath as they watch the other two women interact for the first time. For as long as they were at Barden together, and even following that when they were living in the apartment with Amy, things were never tense between Chloe and Beca. Sure, they had their disagreements, but they rarely lasted more than a few hours. They always worked it out, and the rest of the time was spent simply being together in a friendship unlike any other. It was painstakingly clear to all of the Bellas, that both Chloe and Beca had feelings for each other that exceeded far more than typical friendships (not to mention the ridiculous sexual tension that filled the room whenever they were together).
They were meant to be together and everyone knew it, which is why it came as such a shock when Chloe announced that, when Chicago came back to the States, they were moving back to Georgia. It came out of nowhere, and just like that, Beca was in LA and Chloe was back in Atlanta, suddenly thousands of miles apart. Yet now, with merely six feet in between them, they seem further apart than they've ever been.
Chloe cautiously approaches the trio, struggling to keep both her curiosity, and quite frankly, frustration, at bay. She squats down in front of Callie, tilting her head slightly so that she can meet the little girl's gaze. Chloe's breath almost catches in her throat when she finds herself staring back into the exact deep blue eyes that Beca has, but still, addressing her is far easier than having to even think about looking in her mother's direction. "Hey Callie, I'm Chloe. It's nice to meet you."
Surprising everyone in the room (except Beca because of course Chloe is the only one that can get a response from her daughter), Callie let's out a soft whisper. "Hi."
Chloe's grin widens, mentally patting herself on the back. "How are you doing today?"
Callie shrugs, never once releasing her Mama's hand, but also not being able to pull her attention away from the redhead sitting in front of her. There's something about her that makes the woman seem so much less scary than all of the other people that are here.
"Well, I'm having a really good day, you want to know why?" At Callie's hesitant nod, Chloe lowers her voice to a whisper. "Because I heard we're having cake for dessert. Isn't that exciting?" A small, barely visible smile appears on Callie's lips, which Chloe instantly takes as another win. "I know, I know, it's pretty awesome."
Chloe shoots the younger girl a quick wink, before pushing herself off the ground, and finding herself face to face with Beca. The smile on her face lessens slightly but brightens almost immediately when she lays her eyes on Henry. The boy is cute – no doubt about it – and Chloe can definitely see a resemblance to his father, but some of his mother's characteristics are there as well. Including, most significantly, his small, lopsided smile that appears when Chloe takes a step back and meets his eyes. "And you must be Henry."
As Beca watches Chloe interacting so effortlessly with her children, she can't help but feel the burning in the back of her throat as tears threaten to fill her eyes. This is what she and her kids have been missing out on all of these years, all because of her. It pains Beca to even think about.
Henry smiles sheepishly into the crook of Beca's neck as Chloe talks to him, a smile that lights up his entire face and brings a small bout of laughter to everyone in the room.
Behind Beca, where Stacie is still standing with her wife and her own daughter, Bella looks up at the leggy brunette. "Mom, can I go play Just Dance with Callie?"
Stacie shrugs, moving her hands from where they still lay on Bella's shoulders. "It's fine with me, but you need to check with Callie and Aunt Beca first."
Bella doesn't hesitate to move over to where Chloe is still trying to get Henry to look at her, moving from in front of him, to behind Beca, while his mom just stands there holding onto the toddler. She trails the redhead's every movement, a small smile growing on her face as Henry's giggles continue to fill the room.
"Aunt Beca?"
Beca falters slightly, the title still foreign to her, but she recovers easily as Chloe steps back and moves back towards her seat. "What's up?"
"Can Callie and I go downstairs and play Just Dance?"
Beca feels Callie stiffen beside her, the younger girl eyeing Bella carefully. "Well, I'm fine with it, but what about you, Cal? You want to go play with Bella?" Callie looks up at her mother with wide eyes, the apprehension clear in her expression. Beca allows the rest of the women in the room to fade away from her awareness, focusing solely on her daughter. "It's okay if you don't want to, but I think you might have fun. I promise I'll be right up here the entire time."
It takes another moment before Callie eventually releases Beca's hand, hesitantly walking towards Bella, who couldn't be more thrilled with this development. "Yay! It's so much fun, you're going to love it."
Beca watches as Callie nervously follows the ten-year-old and breathes a sigh of relief when they disappear down the stairs towards the basement. The poor kid is so overwhelmed it's not even funny, and Beca has a feeling that it's going to get worse before it gets better.
However, she can't stress about Callie for too long, because as soon as she is gone, Beca is left in an almost-silent kitchen, with the only noise coming from the speaker on the counter. Henry has stopped giggling, neither Aubrey nor Stacie are talking to each other, and both Chloe and Beca are once again refusing to meet each other's gaze.
Never being one to be able to handle an awkward silence, even if it is with her best friend who she hasn't seen in ten years, Chloe slides back onto the stool, brushing the nonexistent lint off of her pants, the pale blue sweater on her torso making her eyes even brighter than they already are. "I'm glad to see you've finally taken those ridiculous sunglasses off."
An awkward and uneasy laugh escapes Beca's mouth before she can stop it as she moves Henry to her other hip. "Yeah, um… sorry about that. I'm uh, I'm trying to keep the whole move thing kind of quiet."
Chloe eyes the brunette suspiciously. This isn't the Beca that she knows and loves. She's fidgeting, playing with the belt loop on Henry's pants and she's shifting her weight from one foot to the other, not making any effort to sit down in the stool next to Chloe. She really isn't making eye contact with anyone in the room – not just Chloe, but Stacie and Aubrey, too. If she does, it's brief, and even that makes the woman blatantly uneasy. Maybe it's just the fact that Chloe hasn't seen her in so long, but this Beca is nowhere near close to the sassy, confident yet awkward, amazing Beca that she said goodbye to in their New York apartment.
And Chloe doesn't like it. It makes her uncomfortable. Like she's talking to a complete stranger. The entire time, her conversation with Aubrey – the one that revealed very little about what her friend actually knows – is echoing in the back of her mind.
Chloe shoots Aubrey a quick glance, but the blonde is focused on Beca, so Chloe does the same. "So, you're actually moving back here?
Beca visibly gulps, once again moving her son to her other hip, anything to take the attention off of her. She runs a hand through Henry's hair as she answers. "Um, yeah. For now."
Stacie quietly clears her throat, moving forward to grab her glass of wine off the counter. The tension in the room is palpable, and, quite frankly, she has no idea what to do. "Callie is starting at Lewis on Monday, Chlo."
"Oh, really?" Stacie's comment catches the redhead by surprise as she raises her eyebrows, sputtering slightly. "That's um… wow, okay."
At Chloe's reaction, Beca finally looks over the counter at the married couple. She watches as both of they are the ones to avoid eye contact this time around, giving Beca more than enough evidence to know that they're hiding something from her, and apparently only her, because even Chloe seems to understand what it means. "What?"
Neither Stacie nor Aubrey seem willing to say anything, so Chloe takes over the conversation, hoping that it might result in even a fleeting glance from Beca in her direction. "What grade is she in? I teach fifth there, so I'm pretty familiar with all of the teachers."
Aubrey takes a gulp of her own wine as Beca glares at her. But, to the brunette's credit, she doesn't say anything, her mind far too busy and body far too rigid and on-guard to appropriately engage in that conversation. Instead, she just answers Chloe's question. "She's in second. She turned seven back in May."
"Oh, you'll love her teachers. They're super sweet and great with the kids."
Beca gives her a small smile, gradually becoming more comfortable with looking in the redhead's direction. She can do this; she can make small talk. That's basically fifty-percent of her career at some points. "So, teaching, huh?"
"Yeah I lasted one year in the vet program and then started working towards my teaching license. It was the best decision I ever made."
Beca almost scoffs. If only she could say the same thing about her own career. Instead, she finally meets Chloe's eyes."That's great."
Chloe hums her acknowledgment, and takes a few moments before asking, "What about you? You're recording a new album, right?"
Beca's comfortability level practically plummets at the mention of her LA life, not at all liking where the conversation is heading. And, since she can't tell the room (meaning, she can't tell Chloe) that she was supposed to start recording the first couple takes of one of her new songs this week, Beca simply says, "Yeah."
If Chloe can see Beca's reluctance to answer the question, it doesn't stop the redhead from continuing on with the same topic. She's been following Beca's success on social media for years; you can't expect her not to be curious, especially when no one is giving her any sort of information that she is actually interested in hearing. "This one is your fifth, right? You and Theo must be so excited, especially with how well the other ones did."
Aubrey, Stacie, and Chloe all watch as Beca's face darkens at the mention of her husband. If it's possible, Beca seems to get even smaller, stiffening and averting her gaze to the floor.
Normally, the brunette is fine answering questions about her work and her music executive-turned spouse. She's mastered the fake smile and the cheery laugh, the noncommittal answers, and the aura of 'everything is great' while she's around her coworkers and other people in the music industry. But there's something about being back here, in the same room as the girls she once considered family, in the same room as Chloe, that makes her incapable of conjuring up the same nonchalant responses.
Somehow, Beca manages to force a smile on her face, lifting her eyes once more. "It should be good." She practically has to push the lie off her tongue because, if she has any say in it, that album will never be recorded, let alone released.
"Mama?"
"What's up, bud?"
He lowers his voice to a whisper, but everyone in the room is still able to hear. "I gotta go potty."
Grateful for the distraction and silently praising her son for his impeccable timing, Beca looks down at Henry. "Good boy for telling me, monkey." She flicks her eyes to Stacie and Aubrey who are watching her every move. "Where's your bathroom?"
Stacie points to the hall that Callie and Bella escaped down earlier. "It's through there, you can't miss it."
Not saying anything else, Beca heads in the direction of the bathroom, finding it quickly, and closing the door behind her. It's far enough away that she can't hear what they're talking about in the kitchen, so Beca takes it as a sign that they can't hear her either. She helps Henry on the toilet, cheering him on once more for telling her that he needed to go, before bringing him over to the sink to wash his hands.
But, while rinsing his hands under the warm water, sudsing both of their hands up, Beca catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
The first thing she notices is the same thing she has noticed these last few mornings when she's getting ready: she has barely any makeup on her face. Here, without Theo, she doesn't have to be 'presentable' and 'protecting her image' while she walks around the house. She doesn't have to do the full routine, so she's been keeping it simple: a few swipes of mascara, a light coat of foundation, and the smallest amount of eyeliner.
The only downside of the lighter makeup, is the fact that it makes Beca – and everyone else around her – astutely aware of how exhausted the thirty-five-year-old is. There are dark bags hanging under her eyes, and her actual blue orbs have nowhere near the amount of sparkle they once did. Her skin no longer holds the youthful glow it had at one point in her life, and there are faint worry lines starting to appear on her forehead. She looks like someone has sucked the life out of her.
And, in all honesty, someone did.
With these realizations, all Beca can think about is how she got here.
How she got to the point where she needed to call and ask for help to get out of her own marriage because she didn't have the resources or ability to do it herself.
How she got to the point where she was actually doing something with music that made her happy, and then she allowed herself to be overtaken by blind faith and put all of her trust in a man that turned out to be more controlling, possessive, and downright awful, than anyone she's ever met.
How she got to the point where she can barely look herself in the mirror because she allowed her two kids, whom she loves more than anything in the world, to be put in danger for she was too scared and too weak to face her own demons.
How she got to the point where she's in a house with people that really shouldn't be interested in having any sort of conversation with her because of all the shit she put them through.
How she got to the point where she can't even look Chloe in the eye because of how horrible she was to her.
A few tears spring free, rolling down her face as she finishes rinsing off the soap from her and Henry's hands. She sniffles slightly, looking up toward the ceiling and trying her best to keep more from falling as she wipes their hands on the towel beside the sink. Apparently, Beca fails, because Henry looks up to her with concern.
"Mama, no sads." He brings his hand up to her face, attempting to wipe the tears from her skin, but that just makes her cry harder.
Beca sits down on the closed toilet seat, moving Henry so that he's sitting on her lap and facing her. She forces a smile on her face, finding it much easier to calm down when she's getting lost in her son's big blue eyes.
He and Callie are the reason why she keeps fighting, day in and day out.
They're her reasons for living.
Back in the kitchen, they barely hear the bathroom door close before Chloe is making her way over to where Stacie and Aubrey are standing behind the counter, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Okay, what the hell is going on?" Neither of the other women respond, so Chloe tries again. "Guys, seriously, what is going on with her? That person… she is not Beca. She is like a shell of what Beca used to be."
Aubrey looks away, not being able to lie to Chloe's face, leaving Stacie to answer. "It's been a while since we saw her, Chlo. She's bound to be a little different."
"No… not that much different." Chloe shakes her head, tears starting to swell in her eyes. That whole interaction was horrible in every sense of the word. It was awkward and unnatural, and while Chloe could still feel the connection that she's always felt around the brunette, even with some of her own anger starting to present itself, it was like Beca was just staring right through her. Like she was just a random person, and not the person that was once her best friend. "I understand that she might've changed a little bit, especially with her being some big celebrity, but it was like Beca wasn't even in there."
Both Stacie and Aubrey find themselves at a loss for words, with Chloe summing up exactly what they have been feeling since their own first interactions with Beca. They know, though, that it must be ten times harder for Chloe to feel it, because of everything she and Beca had – even if neither of them is willing to admit it.
Aubrey bites back the wave of nausea moving through her stomach, pulling her hand from her wife's grasp to cover her face as she turns her back to the two other women.
Chloe flicks her eyes between her two friends, watching as their resolves start to crumble. She doesn't get angry very easily, but one thing she won't tolerate, is lying. Especially in regard to someone she cares so much about. "Someone better tell me what is going on, or I'm going to go and ask her myself."
"You can't, Chloe." Stacie's voice comes out in almost a defeated whisper, trying to hold back her own emotions as her wife visibly tries to calm herself down while her best friend physically can't. "And it's not our place to say what happened."
Chloe sets her jaw, a few tears starting to roll down her cheeks, slowly nodding as she tries wrapping her mind around this. All she's thought about since Thursday at the grocery store, was Beca. She hasn't been able to get her out of her head. "You can't just expect me not to ask questions. This was your idea to have dinner tonight. It's clear that something is going on, guys. I'm not an idiot. And, clearly, because you're not telling me, it must be something pretty bad. So, how bad is it?"
At Stacie and Aubrey's silence, Chloe's heart rate quickens.
"How bad?" They both avert their gaze, which just makes matters worse, her voice turning to a growl. "How bad?"
For the first time since Chloe started asking questions, Aubrey finally turns around to face her best friend. Her eyes are bloodshot and her face pale from the stress. "It's pretty bad, Chlo."
Stacie shoots a sideward glance of warning at her wife, "Aubrey…"
Chloe ignores Stacie, knowing that she can get far more information from the blonde. "Bree, what's going on?"
Stacie raises her voice slightly, battling with Chloe to get the attention of her wife. "Aubrey, it is not our place –"
"Bree just tell me before she comes back out here."
With Chloe standing in front of her, tears streaming down her face, and not being able to look Stacie in the eyes, she finally caves. "She needed help getting away from Theo."
Stacie slowly closes her eyes in disbelief, the weight of Aubrey's admission hanging heavily in the air around them. They had both promised Beca that they wouldn't say anything, and here they are, in the kitchen for the mere five minutes it takes her to bring Henry to the bathroom, and they've both broken that promise. Talk about guilt.
Chloe, on the other hand, can't believe her ears. She narrows her eyes in the direction of Aubrey, no longer paying attention to Stacie or even trying to get an answer from her; the feeling of immediate anger bubbling from within her. Not at Beca, but at her so-called husband. "What do you mean she needed to get away from Theo?"
Aubrey's voice seems to grow quieter the more she reveals. "She didn't tell me much, but from what I gathered, he's not a good man, Chlo. Her and the kids weren't safe there."
Chloe takes a few steps backward so she can lean against the counter, staring at the ground in disbelief. She can't even begin to fathom a coherent train of thought. How could she? How can she even begin to try and make this whole situation make any sense? She can't. She can't do it.
In the silence of the kitchen, the oven buzzer bounces off the walls, signifying the end of the cooking time for the baked ziti. Aubrey quickly wipes the tears from her face, composing herself and returning to the poised and collected woman that she always is with a brief clearing of her throat. She moves past Stacie without so much as glancing in her direction, and quickly retrieves the pan, just as the door of the bathroom swings open down the hall. She doesn't even turn around from her position at the stove. "Stacie, why don't you go get the girls. Chloe, go clean yourself up in the upstairs bathroom."
Stacie, too pissed to even respond to her wife, stalks off in the direction of her basement, while Chloe, too, does as she asks, knowing full well that she will look like a mess if she doesn't already. She runs her hands over her face a few times as she walks away, her mind plagued with the information she has just learned.
By the time Beca gets back to the kitchen, Henry walking beside her, Aubrey is the only one there. Beca eyes the blonde cautiously, only stepping out of the hallway when she hears footsteps coming up the stairs behind her.
The basement door swings open, and Callie is the first one out. "Mama!"
Beca matches her daughter's excitement, not being able to contain the smile that blossoms on her face when she sees the cheerfulness radiating off of the little girl. "Callie!"
Callie laughs, Bella and Stacie quickly coming up behind her. "Guess what."
Pretending to think for a moment, Beca takes her time under the watchful gaze of the two Conrad-Posen girls. "What?"
"There are pictures of you downstairs in the basement."
Beca's eyebrows arch slightly, looking over Callie's head to meet Stacie's eyes, who just shrugs. "Is that so?"
"Mhmm… Bella said they were from when you were in college."
"Well, Bella is a very smart girl."
"When were you in college?"
Beca sighs, reaching out her other hand for Callie to take. "A long time ago, bug."
"Hey now, it wasn't that long ago." Stacie comes up closer to the Mitchell family. Her statement is innocent enough, but both Beca and Stacie know that there is a deeper meaning. She gives Beca a reassuring smile, coming up to her while Bella slides past to get to the kitchen. "I set up Bella's old high-chair in the dining room for dinner and we've been gathering some of her baby stuff, like her stroller, car seat, things like that, in the car. I can bring you home tonight and help you get the stuff upstairs."
"You didn't have to do that, Stacie…"
Stacie lays a tentative hand on Beca's shoulder, instantly pleased with herself when the brunette doesn't pull away. "You need it a lot more than we do, Bec, and we're happy to."
The corner of Beca's mouth quirks slightly, but the emotion doesn't quite reach her eyes.
"Come on, let's go eat."
Stacie leads Beca and her kids into the dining room where the table has already been set. A salad, a long basket of bread, and various dressings already lay waiting, with Bella sitting on one side of the table. Aubrey has already brought the drinks in, with a glass of water waiting at the spot between a highchair and another seat. As Beca moves to put Henry in the highchair, Aubrey comes in with the baked ziti from the oven, and Chloe comes back from wherever she was previously.
Beca watches the two other women carefully, especially when neither one of them say a word upon entering the dining room. Aubrey seems to be avoiding everyone's gaze, while Chloe's face is blotchy, and her eyes are glistening with unshed tears.
Even with not seeing Chloe for so long, seeing her upset is like a punch to the gut, and Beca instantly wonders if it's something that she has done.
Sure, she knows that their brief introduction was a little forced and certainly not the most comfortable thing in the world, but she didn't think it went horribly, all things considered. She answered Chloe's questions and even asked her a few, and Chloe hadn't seemed mad. They were cordial. They were adults. Everything seemed fine.
One thing that Beca quickly realizes during dinner, though, is that everything is not fine. Not at all.
No one really talks. Bella attempts to start a conversation a few times, and Aubrey and Stacie try and keep it going, but no one seems too invested in the cause. Chloe keeps her eyes focused on her food in front of her, only answering with half-hearted mutters when Bella asks her a question. Stacie refuses to even glance in the direction of her wife and spends most of the meal making faces at Henry, who sits in between her and Beca. Beca certainly isn't going to be one to force the conversation, and Callie is still nervous around the other adults, so the dining room is simply filled with the sounds of forks scratching against the plates, and soft reminders from Beca as she makes comments to her kids.
And Beca knows that it's her fault.
Something had to have happened while she was in the bathroom with Henry. She isn't sure if Chloe had expressed her anger about Beca being there, or if something else was said, but it had to have happened then. There were no other times that they were left alone prior to her arrival, and Beca was gone for long enough for something to have gone down.
Her suspicions are confirmed when, as Beca takes her last bite of pasta, she catches Chloe watching her. The redhead quickly averts her gaze, but Beca sees her expression like a giant flashing sign. The way her mouth is drawn in a slight frown, how Chloe's piercing baby blues are filled with the same pity and sympathy that Beca has quickly come to hate. It's the same expression she saw on Aubrey's face, it's the same expression she saw on Stacie's… it is just ten times worse coming from Chloe, because seeing her sad is one of the most heart-wrenching things that Beca has ever experienced. It's not a good feeling, seeing one of the happiest people so downtrodden. But what makes it worse, is that it's Beca that made her that way – even if the information was shared without her consent.
Quite frankly, Beca has no idea what to say or what to do. She should have known she wasn't going to get out of this dinner without an actual conversation (except, deep down, she did know, which is why she was so nervous to come). She should have known that neither Stacie nor Aubrey would have been able to keep her secret from their best friend.
Why would they? They don't owe anything to Beca. She hasn't been around for the last ten years.
This whole situation is just so incredibly frustrating, and it almost makes Beca question her decision to come out here.
As the brief conversation dies down once more, everyone now staring at their empty plates, Beca clears her throat. She does her best to give Bella a normal smile. "Bella, do you think you could do me a favor?"
Bella, slightly confused because this is the first time Beca has ever initiated a conversation with her, answers with a small shrug. "Sure."
With all of the adults now watching her, Beca tries even harder to focus her attention on the ten-year-old. "Do you think you could bring Callie and Henry down to the basement and maybe start a movie for the three of you to watch? Or play another game?"
Bella's eyebrows furrow and her hesitation is clear, but, to the kid's credit, she does as she's asked. "Okay. Right now?"
Beca gives her a nod, turning to help Henry out of the chair. "Thank you, kiddo." She turns to Callie, who is also not sure what to do. "I want you to go with Bella, alright, bug? I'll come down in a little bit to check on you."
Callie takes Henry's hand, "Are you okay, Mama?"
"I'm fine, sweetheart. Make sure he slides down the stairs on his butt, okay?"
Callie smiles down at her little brother, always loving when Beca trusts him with her. The older woman runs her hand through her daughter's hair as she walks by, and once she hears the basement door closed behind the kids, Beca lifts her gaze to the three other women at the table. She sets her jaw when none of them look at her – not even Stacie, who has perhaps been the most normal one this entire day.
"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" Beca's tone surprises not just Aubrey, Stacie, and Chloe, but Beca herself. She really has no right to be upset, and Beca is fully aware of that. This is Aubrey and Stacie's house and they've done nothing but support her since coming back. But, if there's one thing that Beca cannot stand, it's the walking on eggshells around her. She is not fragile, and Beca has been walking on eggshells herself for the better part of her adult life. She hates it and would have loved to have just left it in LA.
Stacie slowly takes a sip of wine, looking over the rim of her glass at her wife for the first time since sitting down for dinner. They have talked time and time again about letting Beca be the one to tell Chloe why she's in NYC. Yet, here they are, in the exact situation that they have been trying to avoid: with Beca angry and feeling betrayed. She glances around the table, where Chloe is so blatantly trying not to cry, and Aubrey is avoiding everyone's gaze.
Despite every fiber of her being telling her not to, Beca allows herself to look at the woman sitting across from her. Chloe's lip is tucked in between her teeth, the small wrinkle appearing in her forehead that is always there when she tries to calm herself down. If Beca could see her hands, she's sure that they'd be clenched together, rubbing the pads of her thumbs over her nails. It's amazing how much she hasn't changed.
Beca takes a deep breath. "What did they tell you, Chloe?"
Chloe brings a shaky hand up to her face, leaning her head into the palm, before meeting Beca's eyes. Her own blue orbs are even bluer than normal, glistening with tears as she asks, with a trembling voice, "What happened with Theo?"
Beca slowly nods, already expecting the question, and suddenly feeling much more vulnerable in the dining room. Her chest tightens at the sound of Chloe asking the question.
She's always been the one person that Beca has never had a problem talking to. It was always so easy, so natural; she's never had to wonder if Chloe was listening, and she's never been met with any judgment or criticism, which used to bring Beca such comfort. Now, though, with a version of the one question that Beca has been asked on multiple occasions by people in LA, it's like the answer refuses to roll off her tongue. Like she can't even fathom telling Chloe what's going on.
She can't put into words everything that she's done wrong over the years. Everything that she's gotten herself into.
"Did he… did he hit you?"
At Beca's silence and the way her eyes automatically sink to the empty plate in front of her, Chloe's breath hitches in her throat with a suppressed sob. Aubrey's stomach churns with another bout of nausea, even if she already assumed that part, while tears burn at the back of Stacie's eyes.
"Beca…"
Beca's stomach lurches at the sad, quiet tone of Chloe's voice. It's one she's missed for so long, but here, in this context, it makes her sick. "Stop. I'm fine. It was my own fault and… and it doesn't matter anymore. We're here now. Everything's fine."
Stacie immediately shakes her head. "Nothing that happened was your fault, Beca. There is only one person at fault here and it certainly isn't you."
Beca barely looks in Stacie's direction, but she can see Aubrey and Chloe nodding in agreement. "Yeah. Sure."
"Beca, she's right." Aubrey speaks quietly at the other end of the table; she's already had this conversation with the brunette, but she will gladly remind her every day for the rest of their lives if necessary, and she knows Stacie and Chloe agree. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Beca scoffs, turning to narrow her eyes at the blonde. "Really? You actually believe that? Do you want to go back to the beginning? How about the fact that I literally ignored you guys for ten years straight? You don't see anything wrong with that?"
"We don't blame you for that, Bec." Chloe's voice is just as soft as it was when she last spoke, but this time, Beca feels as though she's trying to convince herself, even if the content of the redhead's statement suggests otherwise.
"I don't believe that for a second." Beca takes a shaky breath, starting to feel like she did at the grocery store the other day, with the walls closing in on her and her hands starting to tremble. Her head begins to pound with the guilt and the shame and the pure fear that she's felt since arriving in the city, all surrounding the idea of being in front of the people that know her best.
The edges of her vision become fuzzy as she pushes her chair away from the table. "I uh… this was a bad idea." She forces herself to take a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heartbeat, but it doesn't work. "I should go."
Chloe, too, pushes away from the table and stands. "Beca, wait, we can talk about this." She starts to follow the brunette as she slightly staggers around the dining room. If Chloe hadn't known that all Beca has drank is water, she might think that she is tipsy. "It's okay, Bec, we're not mad."
Beca lets out a harsh laugh, bringing her hands to her hair and tugging at the roots, trying her best to clear Chloe's blatant lie and her other raging thoughts, from her head . "I need to… to get my kids. I need to go."
Stacie stands hesitantly from her chair, holding out her hand to silently tell both Aubrey and Chloe not to move. "Beca, take a deep breath, it's okay."
"No." Beca shakes her head, not being able to get a handle on her emotions. On her breathing. It's like she's losing control of everything; her thoughts, feelings, and simple ability to move slipping through her hands. "I need to get out of here. I need to…"
"Okay, okay." Stacie cautiously approaches the shorter woman, who seems even smaller right now. She's dealt with kids having anxiety attacks at work, but it's always scarier when it's someone you love. "Okay. I'll go get Callie and Henry and I'll drive you back to the apartment. Does that work?"
Beca presses the heels of her hands into her eyes, feeling herself nod at Stacie's question.
With her eyes closed, Beca doesn't see the look of pure anguish on Chloe's face as she watches her best friend, wondering, not for the first time in the last ten years, about what happened in Los Angeles.
So there we have it. The first official reunion with all four of our lovely ladies. Next up: we get to learn a little bit about what Beca's life has been like for the last ten years, Aubrey and Chloe have a talk, and we go back to three weeks ago.
As always, thank you so much for reading and for all of your support; I appreciate you all more than you know. I'm looking forward to hearing any thoughts that you would like to share!
Have an amazing couple of days, and I will see you all back here on Thursday! Thanks so much :)
