Finally finished writing this bad boy, life just kept getting in the way. A big thanks to everyone who patiently waited for an update and worried about our health. My family and I are doing just fine, and I'm almost done with my first year of college. Here's the new chapter, full of mutual pining, hope you enjoy!
CHAPTER SEVEN:
LONGING
Bell went through the pictures in her camera, relatively pleased with the ones she'd taken so far. The nuthatch that had been chattering happily suddenly went silent, as did the entire forest around her. A harsh breeze smelling of the sea whipped through her hair, momentarily blinding her with a dark curtain. She let her camera hang from its strap around her neck, and used her fingers to brush her hair back. Bell was greeted with the sound of waves crashing onto shore, weak streams of sunlight peeking through the gray clouds obscuring the sky.
Behind her, the forest had grown significantly dark, full of deep shadows that seemed to creep closer with every passing second. Something within them growled deeply. Soft, cold fingers gently curled around her wrist, and coaxed her to turn. Edward looked down at her with tender ochre eyes, a small — almost shy — smile gracing his lips. He raised her hand to his cheek, closing his eyes, and nuzzled into her palm. The growl came again, louder and closer than before.
"What is that sound?" Bell asked quietly, wanting to look, but unable to pry her eyes from his enamored expression.
"It was nothing," He cooed soothingly, as if he were speaking to a frightened doe about to flee. Edward kissed the center of her palm, lingering for a moment before speaking again, "Trust me." His other arm curled around her waist, his body moving closer to hers.
She stroked the pad of her thumb along his cheekbone, watching his eyelids flutter shut at the feeling. Finally, she tilted her head up, and pressed her lips against his. His soft noise of pleasure was accompanied by the parting of his lips, inviting her to continue. Not one to deny him, Bell threaded her fingers through his bronze locks, pressing closer, and traced the inside of his mouth with her tongue.
"Edward," She uttered against his lips, relishing in his soft moans, and cupped the sides of his face. "You're so beautiful, Edward…"
The sharp points of his canines made her pause, the hair on the back of her neck prickling at the discovery. The taste of pennies suddenly flooded into her mouth with a warm, thick liquid. Bell drew back quickly, coughing as blood dripped down her chin. She reached up to wipe it away with her fingers, and froze when she looked at Edward again. The golden of his eyes was replaced with a terrifying red, his lips smeared with blood and stretched into a sharp grin. His bronze hair was replaced with thick, black curls that framed deceivingly amiable features.
"You taste delicious." He purred in a voice she hadn't heard in decades. His hand was clasped over her mouth before she had a chance to react, his fangs savagely burying into her throat, and her pained scream was muffled by her fingers, echoed by his satisfied groans.
Another voice, sounding far away, reached her ears, "Stay with me, doll! Stay with me! Please—"
Bell shot up in her bed with a gasp, desperately grabbing the side of her throat. Her heart felt like it was about to burst from her chest from how fast it was racing, and her skin was coated in cold sweat. She exhaled deeply, and let herself plop down onto the pillows once more, staring up at the ceiling as she attempted to calm herself. Cursing under her breath, Bell pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. She'd lost count of how many times she'd dreamt of her red eyed killer after coming to the conclusion that they— that Edward, sweet Edward, and his family were all of the same species.
She wasn't afraid of him.
Nor was she afraid of his siblings for that matter.
It was just… the memory of the pain, the desperation of trying to stay alive for once, only to wake up to her own wails once more. Bell dragged herself to the bathroom, and stood under the lukewarm spray for a while, trying to rid herself of the phantom feeling of hands greedily crushing her against an ice cold body. She blow dried her hair, and dressed herself for school. She apologized to Charlie for not having breakfast ready for him, but he told her not to worry about it even when she offered to make something quick, and said his goodbyes with a kiss on her forehead.
She ended up having a small bowl of cereal, unable to stomach anything else, and made her way to school. It was sunny again, slightly warmer than the previous days. Bell parked Ol' Red, gathering her things and making her way to the picnic benches on the south side of the cafeteria. She set her jacket down on the damp surface, and sat on top of it. Humming softly to herself, she distracted herself in the meantime by doodling on the pages of her notebook. After a few minutes, Bell took notice that the shape of the eyes she'd been drawing looked a lot like a certain Cullen's. Instead of erasing them, she moved on to drawing the rest of his face, then his nose, his lips… Those soft, pink lips that drew up in a bashful smile whenever their eyes met. The same lips that pressed against her cheek, just shy of her own.
"Bella!" Mike's voice calling her name pulled her out of her daydreams. She looked up to see him jogging over. Like other students, he was sporting shorts, along with a plain white shirt and a pair of worn converse. His messy locks caught the sunlight beautifully, the golden shine of it highlighting the soft blue of his eyes.
"Good morning, Mike." She greeted him with a small smile, closing her notebook. Just because she wasn't having the best morning, it didn't mean she was going to make it unbearable for everyone else. Besides, the boy looked absolutely delighted to see her.
The bright grin on his face made the corners of his eyes crinkle. "Oh, I never noticed before," Mike said as he sat with her, blinking his baby blues at her. "Your hair has red in it." He pointed out, watching the strands flutter in the wind.
Bell took a piece of her hair between her fingers, admiring the color as well. It was nothing noteworthy, nothing breathtaking like the bronze of Edward's hair— or even Mike's own golden halo. "Just in direct sunlight, though," She said finally, letting the long strands fall over her shoulders.
Mike glanced up at the nearly cloudless sky, nearly vibrating happily in his seat. "Great day, isn't it?"
She pursed her lips, and nodded once. "It's alright."
His eyes fell on her again, the corners of his mouth drawing up into another grin. "Right, I almost forgot you hate the sun." Mike teased lightheartedly.
"I don't… hate the sun." Bell quickly denied with a small scoff, fiddling with her mechanical pencil, and avoided looking at Mike's amused expression as she tried to look for the right words. "I just enjoy cold weather more." She concluded, nodding.
"Uh huh, right. Of course." Mike nodded along, and Bell feigned throwing her pencil at him. He flinched with a small snicker, drumming his fingers on the table without much of a rhythm. "So, what did you do yesterday?"
"I finished up my essay."
His eyes grew almost comically wide, and his mouth fell open. "Oh, shit, that's due Thursday right?" Mike asked quickly, leaning closer in his despair.
Bell struggled not to smile, "Wednesday, actually."
Mike let out a long, exaggerated groan, and slumped in his seat. She reached out, and patted his arm comfortingly. "Anyways," He sighed miserably, "what's yours about?"
"The misogynistic themes in Shakespeare's literature."
He stared at her as if she'd spoken ancient Latin to summon a creature from far beyond.
"I'm basically debunking whether Shakespeare was sexist or not after catching syphilis." Bell elaborated, trying not to laugh.
"Ohhh…" Mike let out in understanding. "Guess I'll work on mine tonight. I, um," He curled his fingers into his palms nervously, "I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to go out."
This time, it was her who stared at him.
"We could turn it into a study date, maybe?" He continued, shrugging his shoulders and wetting his lips with the swipe of his tongue. The poor thing looked so nervous.
"Oh my god, Mike." Bell covered her face with her hands, letting out a small groan. "How blind can you be, puppy?"
"I-I'm sorry…?" He sounded terribly confused now.
Bell set her hands on the table, and levelled him with a serious look that made him squirm in his seat. "Listen, and listen well because I'm only gonna say this once, Newton." She said lowly, and Mike swallowed audibly. "I've been trying to set you up with Jessica ever since I got here."
The blond looked bewildered, "Jessica?"
"Jessica." She confirmed. "She's been in love with you for a while now, Mike, and I'm almost sure that the reason you've been blind to it is because you feel the same way and you're scared it would ruin years of friendship." Bell continued, raising a hand to stop him when it looked like he was about to interject, "Maybe it will, but maybe not doing anything about it will end up pushing her away instead. There's no way to know unless you give it a chance."
Her heart raced at the thought of ochre eyes staring at her tenderly.
"Wow," Was all Mike could say, clearly dazed as he looked down at his hands.
She smiled softly, and started gathering her things. They walked together to building three in silence, the poor boy too lost in his own thoughts to say much. Before they parted ways, Bell turned to him, "And, Mike?" He blinked at her, thumbing the strap of his bag. "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." She recited from memory, and gave him a small salute before going on her way.
When she met up with Jessica in Trigonometry, the short girl was bubbling with enthusiasm that Bell was sure would only grow when Mike decided to confess. Apparently she, Angela, and Lauren had planned to go to Port Angeles that night to buy their dresses for the dance. Jessica wanted her to come along, even if she wasn't going to buy one. Even if Lauren was going to be there, Bell was thankful for the distraction. The less time she spent by herself, the less time she would have to think of her red eyed killer. She told Jessica she would ask Charlie when she got home.
She tried to listen to Jessica as she rambled about the dance throughout the entirety of their classes until lunch, but her mind kept straying to how what she'd said to Mike was similar to her own situation. The cafeteria was already packed full of students, since Spanish ended five minutes later than usual. A small part of her hoped to see Edward waiting for her, despite the weather, only to be disappointed when she saw that none of the Cullens were present.
All of their friends were already eating lunch at their usual table. Bell chose to sit next to Angela, and was incredibly pleased to see Mike hold out a chair for Jessica, who smiled happily. She didn't miss the look they shared. Angela had a few questions about the Macbeth paper, which Bell answered easily, and asked if she would be going with them to Port Angeles. When she said yes, Angela looked more excited to go.
The empty seat at Biology made the day go by even slower. Playing badminton in Gym gave her a small headache after recalling her brief time in Gloucestershire, back in the early 1900s, which made that one good thing go to hell. Literally when she was a foot away from the front door of her house after school, Jessica called her to cancel their plans, explaining that Mike had asked her out on a date. On one hand, she was happy for both of them. On the other? She felt mildly disappointed that their small trip was rescheduled.
She took a shower, prepared dinner, and finished her homework before finding herself without anything to do. Bell then called Renee, only to end up sending her a text when she didn't answer. After staring at the ceiling of her bedroom for a few minutes, Bell let out a long sigh, and decided that she was gonna read some of Jane Austen's works. She grabbed the book and a quilt, and headed into the backyard.
Bell laid the quilt down on the grass that would and will always be wet, no matter the weather. She pushed up the long sleeves of her shirt to her elbows, and laid down on her back, flipping through Sense and Sensibility. She chuckled at the reminder that its hero was named Edward Ferrars, folding one of her arms under her head and crossing her ankles. At some point during her reading, her eyes drifted closed.
The sound of Charlie's cruiser in the driveway made them open again, and Bell realized she'd fallen asleep. The sun had dipped over the horizon, hiding behind the trees. She looked around, and saw that her book had been placed neatly by her side, closed. Her brow furrowed, her eyes flitting around the shadows as she took the book in her hands. Despite the feeling that she wasn't alone, Bell didn't feel unsafe.
She went inside the house, running her fingers through her mused hair, and put away her things. Charlie was in the process of stepping out of his boots and hanging up his gun belt when she came in. Bell rubbed her right eye, and stifled a small yawn. "I have to reheat dinner since I made it when I got home, is that okay?"
"Don't worry about that, Bells," Charlie smiled at her fondly, warmth in his eyes. "Were you asleep?"
"Yeah, I fell asleep outside." Bell admitted, tying her hair in a low ponytail as she walked to the kitchen.
They ended up watching a baseball game after dinner, sharing a large bowl of buttery popcorn as Charlie rambled about his favorite team. He looked very happy, truly enjoying their time together, and that alone lifted her spirits.
"Hey, Dad," She began, taking advantage of the commercial break, "Jessica and Angela are going to look at dresses for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles, and they asked if I could go along to help them choose. Is that alright?" Bell asked, wiping her oily fingers on a clean napkin despite knowing she would have to wash her hands anyways.
Charlie swallowed a mouthful of popcorn, and tilted his head. "Jessica Stanley?"
"And Angela Weber." Bell nodded, and took a sip of her drink.
His eyebrows knitted together, "Are you sure you're not going to the dance?"
"Pretty sure. I'm just gonna help them choose, you know how indecisive teenage girls are." She shrugged with a small grin, and Charlie nodded in understanding. "We'll leave right after school to get back early. I also made a lot of food so you won't have to worry about dinner tomorrow." Bell added, and realized how motherly she was being towards the man who was currently her father. The irony.
Charlie gave her a look, the smile tugging on the corner of his mouth betraying his expression, "I'll have you know I'd fed myself for seventeen years before you got here, missy."
Bell gave him a blank look. "Honestly? I don't know how you're still alive."
The offended look on his face made her laugh until tears gathered in her eyes.
Edward had never resented the sun in all his years as much as he did today. He could only hide in the shadows, and watch enviously through the eyes of the lucky humans that walked beside his love under the sun, occasionally brushing past her and making contact with her skin. A part of him was deeply pleased that she didn't react to their touch. He watched her arrive early, her long hair catching the sunlight in unexpected ways that made his breath catch in his throat, and sit by herself on one of the picnic benches to sketch something on her notebook.
Mike Newton was quick to join her, absolutely thrilled to see her.
He couldn't help the growl building up in his chest.
Bell had greeted the boy pleasantly, and quickly closed the notebook as if to hide her drawing. He took note of that, curious as to what exactly she'd been drawing that she didn't want Mike Newton to see. It was truly agonizing to watch the blond sit with her, even more so hearing his thoughts about her.
She looks amazing in the sunlight, Mike admired, and proceeded to verbalize his thoughts in a less obvious way. The trunk of the log Edward was sitting on groaned and splintered under his grip when Mike briefly imagined what it would feel like to run his fingers through her hair.
His jealousy dimmed, and was replaced by a tender fondness that softened his expression at the reminder that Bell disliked the sunny weather almost as much as he did. A part of him hoped that it made her miss him, too. His love reminded the boy of an essay due on Wednesday, amusement visible on her face at his despair.
Damn, that stupid essay, Mike lamented, nearly pouting, before another thought came. Wait, I can make this work!
Finally, Mike asked the question that had Edward gritting his teeth and crossing his arms tightly over his chest, fuming.
"Oh my god, Mike." Bell sounded like he had delivered the worst news possible, covering her face with her hands. "How blind can you be, puppy?"
"I-I'm sorry...?" Is that a no? Did she just call me a puppy? Is that a kink or something—
"Listen, and listen well because I'm only gonna say this once, Newton." The authority in her voice made Edward hold his breath, and he desperately tried to ignore the things it was doing to his body.
The confession and small rant that followed made Mike's thoughts cease for a moment in utter bewilderment. When he slowly came to, all the boy could do was connect the dots he'd been willingly blind to. It was about time, too, Edward thought with the roll of his eyes. Those two had been pining over each other for years.
Jessica. Wow. Jessica? Jessica.
"And, Mike? 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." With a mock salute, his sweet Bell was out of sight and out of range. A disappointed sigh left his lips.
Bell should be like a psychiatrist or something. Maybe she's going through something with Cullen? Mike thought of him in something like disgust. He better not hurt that angel, that woman's a gift from God. I'll kick his ass.
With an amused snort, Edward left his mind. He climbed an enormous madrone tree, probably almost as old as him, and sat on one of the thick branches, crossing his ankles as he bounced from one mind to another in search of Bell. He was grateful for every angle of her face he could see, admiring each and every one. She glanced at their usual table in disappointment.
Angela Weber seemed to notice right away, and was quick to distract her with questions about Macbeth. Someday, Edward would thank her for being such a good person. Her mind was always open, peaceful, and void of any malicious thoughts. Her genuine concern for his and Bell's relationship was heartwarming.
Bell had plans to go out with the girls, and Edward quickly started to make up his own plans to make sure she was safe, but he realized those plans would be postponed the second he heard Mike invite Jessica on a date. With that thought, Edward went straight for the Swan residence to do a thorough sweep of the woods to ensure that no one dangerous had wandered close. Of course Jasper had warned Peter to stay clear of the town, using Edward's insanity as both an explanation and a warning, but he felt just about ready to pull his hair out at the mere thought of something happening to Bell. Peter and Charlotte obviously had no intentions to cause any problems— while he knew that, the beast inside him refused to settle while they were in Forks.
As if taking pity on his agony at being unable to see her, Bell came out of her home after what felt an eternity, but could only be an hour. She was holding a book and a blanket, making herself comfortable on the grass in the backyard. Edward climbed higher on the branches, and leaned against the bark, smiling softly. His eyes scanned the pages. Ah, Sense and Sensibility, another classic. She was an Austen fan, Edward would keep it in mind.
He shivered at the sound of her quiet chuckle, and watched in fascination as her features softened into something almost tender when she reached chapter three. A few pages in, and every blink became closer in between, until her eyes fell closed and her breathing evened out. The book lay open on her chest, held loosely by her hand. Edward admired the way she looked, her brown hair splayed over the blanket like a reddish halo, and caught his bottom lip between his teeth when she released a content sigh. He thumbed at the material of his pants, trying to resist the temptation as long as he could, before everything went out the window when she began mumbling quietly in her sleep. Edward let out a breath, and quickly checked the minds in the houses nearby.
Two tablespoons of flour, a cup of milk…
Red, or blue? Maybe something more casual?
Would Mom mind if I borrowed her shoes…?
Perfect, Edwards nearly purred in delight, there was no one close by. He jumped from the tree, landing silently and gracefully. He realized in the back of his mind that he was being very careless, and very hypocritical. He'd condescendingly judged Emmett for his thoughtlessness and Jasper for his lack of discipline, but here he was, giddily disregarding all of their rules with a smile on his face. Once upon a time, he'd been the responsible one of the bunch. Oh well…
Edward crept into the sunlight, pursing his lips at the change in his skin. He tried his best to ignore the blues, greens, yellows, and oranges reflecting onto her own skin. He paused, hesitating for a moment. If she woke up now, and saw him like this, what would she do? Would she scream? Would she think of him as a freak, an abomination? Could anyone blame him for wishing she would accept him as he was…?
He considered retreating, but she murmured something under her breath, and he found himself entranced once more. Curiosity won over, and he sat himself down on the quilt, carefully taking the book from her limp grasp. The warmth of the sun had made her scent thicken, growing sweeter and dazing him. His body lit and quivered with desire, and his hands refused to steady as he turned the pages of the book.
Despite wanting nothing more than to curl around her body, tuck his face into her neck and feel her arms wrap around him, Edward forced himself to read. He went to chapter three, in search of what had made her look almost enamored. His eyes fell upon his own name, and for a moment he allowed himself to hope further. Just then, he heard his love speak.
"Edward," She sighed, just like the night before. Her voice was a low, wistful murmur, and he couldn't fight the purr vibrating in the back of his throat. "Beautiful… sweetheart…" She turned, some strands of her hair obscuring her face, and the corner of her mouth lifted in a smile. He purred louder, yet quiet enough not to wake her.
His thoughts travelled to what she'd told Mike Newton. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, huh? He was grinning like a fool, he was sure, and absentmindedly flipped through the pages until the sunlight was gone. Edward sighed in mild disappointment when he heard Charlie's cruiser drive down the street, and set the book down next to her. He looked at her face for a moment, taking in every detail and freckle dusting the bridge of her nose, before reluctantly sinking back into the covers of the trees.
Charlie Swan's mind was quiet, the voice of his thoughts nearly silent. Edward supposed that Bell's mental static could be genetically inherited. But unlike hers, he could easily get the gist of Charlie's thoughts. He was tired from work, but was looking forward to the dinner Bell had undoubtedly prepared.
The brown haired beauty awoke to the sound of her father's car in the driveway. She looked around, realizing she'd fallen asleep, and she paused when noticing where her book had been placed. Edward grimaced, cursing his carelessness, and his breathing hitched when her eyes fell exactly where he was hiding. He placed his hand over his mouth, eyes growing wide, and wondered if she could tell he was there. Edward stayed like that, mildly shocked, even after she'd gone inside the house.
He ran trembling fingers through his hair, and listened in.
The love and concern Charlie had for his daughter was heartwarming, and even if his words were casual and terse, Edward was sure someone like Bell could feel it too. They ended up watching a game together, sharing popcorn on the couch, and she eventually discussed her plans for the following evening in Port Angeles. Jasper had not warned Peter and Charlotte to stay clear of Port Angeles, only Forks. Though Edward knew both of them had fed recently, and wouldn't hunt anywhere near Cullen territory, he refused to leave her unguarded. There were other vampires in the world, not to mention the human dangers he could lose her to.
Edward chuckled quietly to himself at the sound of their banter, and smiled at yet another confirmation that his Bell was obviously a mother hen. He left right after, returning to an empty house with the knowledge that she would be asleep in her bedroom by the time he swept the Swan residence again. Emmett had left him a sticky note, a glaring yellow that stuck out from the dark newel post it was stuck on.
Football at the Rainier field — c'mon! Please? It was scribbled in his brother's handwriting, the thick ink revealing he'd used a black sharpie. Edward found a pen, and scrawled an apology beneath his plea. The teams would be even without him, anyway. He went on a short hunting trip, filling his belly with the blood of small, gentle creatures that were the easiest to grab. They didn't taste as good as a mountain lion, but they made a quick meal. Edward washed himself clean of any dirt and blood, and changed into fresh clothes.
Bell didn't sleep well that night. She tossed and turned restlessly, her features twisting in despair. He watched helplessly from the corner of her room, a knot in his throat. This time, she spoke quivering pleas and apologies, her heart racing in her chest. The sound was much louder to him than the pitter patter of a small drizzle of rain outside. Her hand unfurled on top of her sheets, her fingers twitching as if reaching out. When the first tears began to soak her pillow, Edward found himself kneeling by her side, his lips quivering and his eyes burning. Without another thought, he interlocked their fingers, and watched her body slowly relax.
As her hand gently squeezed his own, Edward felt like he could cry.
A few tears slipped out while I was writing the last paragraph, and I honestly wanted nothing more than to hug them both.
I truly hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I did. Until next time, stay safe.
