Andddddd we're back! Thanks so much for your patience the last month! I'm hoping to get back on our regular schedule (and more frequently once I have some chapters written) now!
Icedragone - Yeah he's a prick. Let's see what Beca's reaction is! And it'll definitely come up in the future - this is not the last time you'll see of it. Thank you so much for the luck and the support! I hope you enjoy the remainder of the fic :)
Guest (May 12) - Yep yep yep. Theo knows exactly what he's doing. Will Dr. Cole see through it? Only time will tell... thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on the Life Unexpected fic! The potential sibling is something that I'm definitely rattling around with, also because of the ages of Beca and Chloe and how I always pictured Chloe wanting kids. I'm not sure though! I'm hoping to get a more succinct plan in the coming weeks! Thank you so much for reading and your continued support! I hope you enjoy the remainder of this fic :)
RJRMovieFan - I laughed so hard at your comment. Theo definitely knows what buttons to push. Thank you so much for your kind words and your support! I hope you enjoy the remainder of the fic :)
Guest (May 18) - Yeahhhh Theo really is not a good guy. But let's see how Beca (and others...hmmmmm) handles it! And it'll definitely come up in future chapters, too. I don't want to give away any spoilers, but I'd say you're on the right track! Thank you so much for your kind words and your support! I hope you enjoy the remainder of the fic :)
CJ3 - Thank you so much for your kind words and your support! I am so glad you're enjoying the fic and I am so sorry that this chapter took so long to get up! I hope you enjoy the remaining chapters :)
The first section of Chapter 18 is the last section of Chapter 17. I'm rearranging the last couple of chapters a bit but after the first section everything else is new.
Chapter 18
Content Warning: Panic attacks, Theo is in basically all of this, referenced and implied domestic violence and abusive relationship; discussions of suicide and depression.
She's being watched.
Every move. Every step. Doing the same things she's been doing since Callie was born.
And there's a woman sitting in the living room with a notepad on her lap, trying not to stare but very blatantly watching her every move. Watching her kids' every move. Listening to them talk. Listening to them laugh and ask questions.
Just go about your day as normal; pretend I'm not even here, Dr. Cole had told her.
Now, half-way through the day, she wants to tell her that that is far easier said than done.
Dr. Cole had arrived at the house at eight o'clock on the dot, just as she had said she would. The kids were still asleep, and with her arrival, Chloe and Emily excused themselves from the house for the day. Beca received strict instructions that they should be simulating an environment that closely resembles the schedule and actions of what they left behind.
Prior to the kids waking up, Dr. Cole, an older woman who seemed like she had better things to be doing, explained what would be happening throughout the day and throughout the rest of the evaluation. They spent a good hour discussing not just the 'rules' of the evaluation, but also the events leading up to Beca leaving for New York, what happened in New York, and also a general overview of what Dr. Cole had discussed with Theo the day prior.
Dr. Cole didn't tell her much, but she did give a broad overview. Some were about the restraining order and the confirmed domestic violence as found by the court. Some were about his roles as a father. Some were about their relationship, and his relationship with the kids. She asked about what he was looking to get out of the custody arrangement and other details that she didn't feel the need to explain. Because neither she nor Theo requested psychological evaluations, her evaluation will be strictly based on observations, interviews with witnesses, and interviews with herself and Theo.
Today, Dr. Cole said that she would be observing Beca's relationship with the kids and how they interact as a family, as well as talking with Beca about similar things as she talked about with Theo. She told Beca that that would come later once the kids were down for a nap, and that if it didn't happen today that that was alright.
Tomorrow, if all goes according to plan, the kids will be going over to Theo's for a two hour visitation that will be observed by Dr. Cole as well. She is also planning on conducting interviews with Karla, Chloe, and Emily in person, and Stacie and Aubrey via video chat throughout the evaluation.
Wednesday, she'll be talking with the kids back at the house.
The whole spiel made Beca's head spin, and the worst part was, she almost felt more vulnerable in that moment, sitting there with the woman who could single handedly take her children away from her, than she did when she was living here with Theo.
It made her stomach churn, and while she agreed to Dr. Cole's conditions and promised that she would be as cooperative as possible because all she wants is what's best for her kids, the nerves and anxiety that had been growing since the night before, almost became so overwhelming that she started busying herself with cleaning the already spotless kitchen.
Eventually, Callie and Henry woke up and walked downstairs hand-in-hand just like they often did before they moved. The two kids grew silent at the sight of Dr. Cole sitting at the counter, neither one of them taking another step when they saw the stranger. Beca had gone around the counter and crouched down in front of them like she would at any other point and cautiously explained to them that this was a nice lady who just wanted to watch Beca and the kids play for the day and that she wasn't anyone to be scared of.
At that, Henry found his way to Beca's hip and Callie's hand linked with her mom's. While they didn't say anything to Dr. Cole, both of them relaxed as she put some distance between herself and the counter, and Beca placed their breakfasts in front of them as well.
Beca tried to follow their routine as closely as possible. She let them watch a few cartoons on the television, but then started feeling guilty about the fact that they were watching TV while she cleaned. She brought them upstairs to get ready, but then started worrying when Dr. Cole saw the exact moment she realized that Henry had an accident in his bed the night before and she had to clean the sheets. She started playing with the kids in the playroom but grew nervous as the kids started bickering – as kids often do – over what game they wanted to play first. She fielded various questions about Chloe, Emily, and Karla's whereabouts, and if that didn't make her feel inadequate enough in the presence of the psychiatrist, it got even worse when Callie started getting upset because Chloe promised her they could start reading a book together this afternoon.
(When this promise happened, Beca isn't exactly sure, but Callie was adamant that it did.)
Henry clung to Beca like he always does and was quieter than normal as well. Beca was almost certain it was because of Dr. Cole's presence, which she had warned Dr. Cole about prior to the kids waking up, but who knows what she is writing down in that stupid notebook of hers.
Beca's honestly thankful that two o'clock eventually rolls around and she can put Henry down for his nap and put Callie in her room for some quiet reading time. She isn't sure how long it'll keep them occupied for, but she is grateful that they'll be out from underneath Dr. Cole's scrutiny, and that she doesn't need to keep walking on eggshells – at least in terms of how she is acting around her kids.
Of course, though, as soon as Henry is sleeping and as soon as she closes Callie's door over, her stress skyrockets for a whole other reason, because there is Dr. Cole, sitting at the dining room table, ready and waiting for Beca to arrive.
Beca offers her a timid – pained – smile, as she heads into the room. "Can I get you anything? A cup of tea? Coffee? Water?"
Dr. Cole shakes her head, her glasses already perched on her nose as she gestures to the chair beside her. Naturally, it just so happens to be Theo's chair. Because, why wouldn't it be, considering how this day is going. "I'm alright, thank you. Please, take a seat."
Beca hesitates, though she's pretty sure that Dr. Cole doesn't notice, and finally takes a seat in the chair opposite of the older woman – not Theo's, but the one on the other side. She attempts to settle in as she fidgets back and forth, waiting for the woman's eyes to find her.
When they do, a kind smile – one of the first of the day – accompanies it. "Callie and Henry seem like amazing kids. You've done well with them."
The weight that had been weighing down on Beca's chest all day lifts ever so slightly. She doesn't want to look surprised because she really does do everything in her power to be a good mom, but on the other hand, Dr. Cole has been incredibly hard to read all day long.
"Thank you. They really are. I love them more than anything in the world."
"And it's clear that they feel the same. They seemed very happy and carefree today, even with me watching, which I know you had been worried about."
Beca fiddles with her hands, wishing, more than anything, that she had a cup or something to hold on to, so she doesn't look so nervous. "I was. They don't really do well with new people. They grew up with such a small circle of familiar faces that they typically have pretty high anxiety in new situations and with new people."
Dr. Cole nods an understanding. "How did they do when you moved to New York? That's about as new of a situation as you can get."
Beca's stomach clenches. Here we go. "It was definitely an adjustment. Callie, she um, she had a bit of trouble at first. But my friends from college – the ones that helped get me out there – they were patient. I introduced them one by one, and then we eventually had dinner together. Stacie and Aubrey Conrad-Posen, they have a daughter that's a few years older than Callie and those two hit it off right away, which I think helped. Then Chloe, she worked with Callie in school, so they all became familiar with each other quite quickly."
"How did Callie adjust to school? That was a new environment for her too, was it not?"
"It was, yes. The first day was rough. She was overwhelmed, and understandably so. But Chloe, who she had met the weekend before, actually promised to check in with her throughout the day. They eat lunch together most days as well. She enjoys the learning aspect of it – she always has – but she has trouble connecting with the kids."
"Do you consider that a problem?"
Beca's foot bounces up and down underneath the table. "I mean, yes, in a way. But also, this is the first time that she's truly gotten to interact with kids her age on a regular basis. Theo, uh, Theo wasn't keen on the kids going out of the house which is why he pushed homeschooling so much. I'm sure that it'll get better with time. Plus, she has Bella, Stacie and Aubrey's daughter, and they've gotten close, so I would say that's a good sign."
Dr. Cole's pen glides across the notepad before coming to a gentle stop. "What about Henry? How does he interact with everyone else?"
A smile subconsciously grows on Beca's face. "He's a quiet kid. A Mama's boy, hands down. It takes him a little while to open up, like Callie, but once he does he will never leave your side. He didn't really connect with Aubrey and Stacie at first, I think it was actually Chloe that got him first to crack a smile. But now, he'll run to any of them if they're willing to stop and play."
"Today he seemed to be carried around a lot. He never really left your hip, and if he was, he was holding your hand. Is that typical behavior?"
Beca's cheeks redden. That's a problem, too? "I wouldn't really say typical… it has become a more frequent occurrence, though. Emily – she's a child psychologist – she thinks that he's picking up on some of what is going on with me and Theo and uh, I know I've been stressed out lately too so he might sense some of that."
Dr. Cole gives a gentle smile. "It's not a bad thing, I was just wondering." Beca lets out a nervous laugh – her little reassurance does nothing to actually reassure her. "In your opinion, how would you say Callie and Henry have adjusted to being away from Theo since you brought them to New York? Do they ask about him?"
Beca grips her hands together in her lap, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible. She wants to be honest, but a part of her also doesn't want to admit that her actions have caused distress in the kids. "Callie has probably struggled the most. Henry hasn't really had a problem because he never really spent much time with Theo. But Callie, the first couple of weeks she would ask where her father was. At first I told him that he was working, but when he showed up at Aubrey and Stacie's house, I explained to her that sometimes her dad makes me sad, and that I didn't want him to make her sad, too."
"How did she take that?"
"She was still confused. I tried to hide as much as I could from her while we were still living here, so I don't think she believed me at first." Beca lets out a heavy sigh, averting her eyes. "I didn't make the decision to move them to New York lightly. And-and I know that I've caused them a lot of pain and trauma. But, you have to believe me when I tell you that I was terrified that Theo was going to end up hurting them. I needed to get them out of here, and I don't regret it."
Dr. Cole doesn't immediately look up. She finishes writing the notes that she was taking down from Beca's statement before doing so. "You've stated that Theo hit Callie prior to you leaving, correct?"
Beca nods, heat rising to her cheeks as Dr. Cole ignores the second half of her previous answer. "He did."
"Have you talked to her about that? Does she remember?"
Beca shakes her head. "The night of, I just tried distracting her from what had happened. I kept her and Henry upstairs for the rest of the night. She hasn't said anything about it since."
Dr. Cole hums a bit as she writes this new information down. "It is possible that she has blocked it from her mind. It was a traumatic experience; sometimes our brains protect us from trauma by hiding it. Making us forget."
Beca leans back in her chair. "Honestly, if that's what's happening – I'm glad. I don't want her to remember her father like that. She doesn't need that. Neither her nor Henry do."
"Even if that means continuing visitation with Theo?"
Beca's stomach clenches. She gulps, and she knows her voice sounds timid as she answers. "I…I don't want them to have to see him if it means the possibility of them getting hurt. And with Theo, that's always a possibility. But I also don't want them to grow up being totally confused as to what happened. Or to grow up being angry about it."
"Okay. Thank you. I know it isn't always easy answering questions like this." When Beca doesn't say anything, Dr. Cole continues. "I think I just have one question left for now. I've reviewed the court documents and I don't want you to have to go back through all of that – not unless we absolutely need to. So just one more and then we should be done for the day."
Beca lets out a soft sigh. She's almost done. "Sounds good."
"Great." Dr. Cole uncrosses her legs and then crosses them once more. "So, yesterday, when I was talking with Mr. Wright, he expressed some concern about how you might be handling having the kids on your own, as well as everything else that has been going on."
Beca's eyebrows crinkle together as Dr. Cole's words sink in. Her skin crawls at the fact that Dr. Cole is even referencing something that her and Theo talked about. But she doesn't even understand what she is trying to say. "I don't… I don't really understand."
Dr. Cole doesn't seem to shy away from the answer, clearly not trying to hide anything on her account. She's taking the impartiality part of her job description seriously, that's for sure. "Well, he seemed to be concerned with how your mother's history of depression may become a struggle for you, if it hasn't already."
Beca's jaw slowly drops open, every single possible thought or response completely disappearing from her mind.
Because she cannot be serious.
She cannot legitimately be asking her about her mother.
Theo cannot have legitimately brought it up with her.
That sick son of a—
"Beca?" Beca blinks back to reality. She can't… she can't even begin to think of how to start. She's known for years that Theo was a horrible person. But this… using this against her when he is the one that she is running from… how in the world did they even get here?
Because of her.
They're here, because of her. Because she left. Because she wanted to get the kids away. And here they are, with Theo once again taking control of the situation. The one chance that she thought she had to leave - and Theo is stripping away all of that power, just like he always does.
"Beca? Are you alright?"
Beca lets out a soft cough, but it does little to relieve the burning in the back of her throat or the tears pricking at the side of her eyes. She takes a shaky breath, her nails digging into her thigh. She shakes her head. "No."
Dr. Cole's eyebrow quirks slightly. "No, you aren't alright? Would you like to take a break?"
Beca shakes her head once more. "No, I do not have depression like my mother. And, to answer what I assume is going to be your next question, I'm not suicidal like my mother was, either."
When Chloe and Emily arrive at the house an hour later, it is a bit quieter than they are expecting. A day out in the sun and walking around downtown LA, has made them utterly exhausted, so they texted Beca to see if it was alright for them to return. While Beca said that it was, both women were shocked to see Dr. Cole's car in the driveway when they got back, having assumed that she had already left.
But sure enough, as they creep into the house, Dr. Cole is sitting at the dining room table working on her computer, and Beca and the kids are nowhere to be seen.
Chloe had a hard time leaving the house this morning. She could tell that Beca was nervous waiting for the arrival of the evaluator. She tried to help the best she could, but it wasn't long after they had all finished getting ready that Dr. Cole had shown up. Then it was time for her and Emily to leave before the kids were even awake.
Who knows what kind of mess they're coming back to.
"Dr. Cole?" Chloe, with Emily close behind her, peeks her head into the dining room. The typing stops, the house falling into an even greater silence. "Is everything alright?"
The older woman looks up with a soft smile on her face. She takes her glasses off from where they are perched on her nose. "Everything's fine. We finished a little early and Beca went up to lie down. I was hoping that I might be able to talk to you both today as well, if that's alright."
Emily, who is standing slightly behind Chloe, nods first. She finds it a little odd that they finished early but chooses not to say anything. "Sure. Would we be able to change first?"
"Absolutely. Come on down when you're done. It shouldn't take too long."
Feeling oddly out of place being dismissed by a woman who both Chloe and Emily know is not fully welcome in the house, the two women walk wordlessly up the stairs. They exchange brief glances of confusion, but otherwise remain silent until they are a few feet away from the guest bedroom where Emily has been sleeping and Chloe has been keeping her things. It isn't until they hear sniffles coming from the room opposite of them, that they come to pause.
Chloe immediately turns to face the door. It's the other guest bedroom, the one Chloe is supposed to be staying in, but hasn't because the last two nights she's slept downstairs with Beca. Yet, this door, like both Callie's and Henry's, is firmly closed.
With her senses already heightened by the mysteriousness of the state of the house, as well as Dr. Cole's nonchalance about Beca's absence, Chloe's stomach flips with nerves. She hesitantly approaches the door, Emily watching her from a slight distance, as she presses an ear up against the surface. The sniffles grow slightly louder, confirming at least some of Chloe's beliefs, and before she can even stop herself, she is knocking quietly to announce her presence. "Beca? Are you in there?"
The sniffling stops just as Chloe comes to rest her hand on the doorknob. She remains as still as physically possible, knowing that any slight movement could be louder than an indication coming from inside of the bedroom. Behind her, Emily shifts from foot to foot, her eyebrows furrowed with worry. "Bec? It's Chloe. Can I come in?"
The bedroom remains relatively silent, though Chloe swears that she hears a faint rustling of the sheets. But there isn't any other verbal indication that Beca is actually in there.
With her heartrate picking up in its intensity, Chloe knocks lightly on the door once more. She lowers her voice to a whisper, leaning her forehead up against the door. She knows how intense this meeting was going to be for her best friend, which is why she can't ignore the feeling of pure dread in the pit of her stomach. "Beca…"
Emily lays a light hand on her shoulder, whispering, "I'm going to go check on the kids," before heading toward Callie's bedroom.
Chloe remains frozen in the hallway, not sure of what to do as Emily slips into the bedroom at the end of the hallway. But when she hears another sniffle coming from where she is 99.9% sure that Beca is, she finally shakes her head to herself, and moves to enter the room. "Bec, I'm coming in."
Chloe has been in this bedroom only a couple of times since the start of their stay at Beca's California house. Her visits have been mostly confined to retrieving clothes from her suitcase and quickly changing before being summoned by Callie or Henry or needing to do something for Beca. But, to her recollection, the only difference in the bedroom, is that Beca is laying stock-still on the mattress: legs straight out in front of her, arms down by her side, and her gaze focused on the ceiling above. She doesn't even flinch when Chloe goes into the bedroom.
"Beca? What's going on?"
Beca doesn't react, but as Chloe tentatively approaches the bed, she makes note of the undeniable presence of tear marks on her face.
She softens her voice. "What can I do?"
In a turn of events that startles Chloe, Beca lets out a harsh – albeit still quiet – laugh. She keeps her eyes trained on the ceiling. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
Chloe kneels down beside the mattress, keeping a slight distance but making her presence known. She's still a bit unsure of how far she should go to comfort her. She is still trying to keep her distance; give Beca space. But being back in California, especially with the last couple of nights under her belt, it kind of seems like the need for distance is lessening. "Talk to me, Bec. What happened?"
Beca falls silent once more, and while Chloe waits patiently, the pounding of her heart against her chest makes it difficult to not ask, once more, what occurred while her and Emily were out of the house. She's opening her mouth to speak again, when Beca cuts her off with her own words. Her voice isn't at a whispered volume, just a normal tone of voice, but the hurt – the pain – is evident with every spoken syllable. "I've known for a while what a horrible person he is; really, truly, despicable. Which is funny, considering I spent so long trying to tell myself that he wasn't – that whatever was happening between us was my fault and that I deserved it. But–" Beca lets out another dry laugh, shaking her head and rubbing her hands over her face, before finally turning to meet Chloe's eyes. "He told them about my mom. Said he was concerned that I might face some of the same 'struggles' that she did."
Chloe's blood runs cold; her jaw dropping slightly yet anger instantly building inside of her. She can't even believe the words coming from Beca's mouth.
It was during Beca's sophomore year – Chloe's second senior year – that she disclosed what had happened to her mother to the redhead. They had gotten close during Beca's first year at Barden, and there was something about Beca that Chloe was just naturally drawn to. She's always been a people person, but Beca was just different, and she was determined to become her friend.
Chloe succeeded in her goal, and she quickly learned that she didn't want to know a life without Beca Mitchell. (Unfortunately for her, she was going to face that very issue a few years after she eventually graduated, but even then, losing Beca would've been one of her worst nightmares).
But that being said, as close as they got during Beca's first year and the first half of her second year, she never really talked about her parents – very rarely around Chloe, and never around the other Bellas. Chloe, looking back, doesn't even remember why they were doing it, but she vividly remembers the two of them sharing a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream on the porch of the Bellas' house one night, everyone else either studying in their respective rooms or out on some nighttime adventure (yet another thing Chloe learned, was that she would much rather stay in with Beca than go out to some frat party or dancing at a club).
They were sharing ice cream and Chloe was complaining about her own mother because neither one of her parents were too fond about Chloe's failure to graduate in four years. She had been fielding texts from her mom all day about 'next steps'. In her, undoubtedly long, rant – with Beca attentively listening the entire time – she remembers stopping in the middle, realizing that she really hadn't ever heard Beca mention her own mother.
She already knew that Beca's father was a professor at Barden and that her parents were divorced (mostly because of hearing Beca's complaints about her 'step-monster'), but she was even reluctant to talk about him in the year and a half that she'd known her. Chloe didn't think much of it – lots of people have tense relationships with their parents. But, becoming as close as she had been with Beca, and still knowing next to nothing about her parents, was a little confusing for the redhead.
So, Chloe asked. And she will never forget the way that the color drained from Beca's face. How her gaze had shifted to the ground in front of them. How she pushed the melted ice cream against the cardboard container. How Beca – who had previously been humming along and acknowledging Chloe's statements and complaints – completely shut down.
When Chloe got past her initial shock at Beca's hesitance, she quickly recanted her question, telling Beca that she was sorry and that she didn't have to say anything. But while Chloe internally berated herself for being so outspoken and asking a question that clearly made Beca uncomfortable, Beca actually started answering.
Chloe hung on to every word. She listened as Beca reminded her that her mother and father got divorced when she was younger, and that she moved in with her father and step-mother when she was thirteen. Once Beca covered the topics that Chloe already knew, she started expanding into unfamiliar territory – and clearly a topic that Beca very rarely spoke about.
She told her, in one breath, that her mom committed suicide the summer before she started eighth grade.
Beca told her how, when she was younger, she knew that her mom was sick. That she would often call out of work and spend anywhere from hours to days in her bedroom – never once emerging from the darkness. She told Chloe how she remembered her parents arguing about it – about her father, at first, begging her mother to get help – while being an attentive and caring husband on some of her worst days.
Yet as Beca got a little older and her mom got worse, her dad seemed to be around less and less. In the months leading up to the divorce, Beca would find out that it was because he started having an affair with one of the other professors at the university that her father was working at in Seattle. One major fight led to another, which led to another, and finally, as her mother retreated back to her bedroom, spent and unwilling (unable) to fight any longer, her father left for the last time – screaming about divorce papers and leaving eleven year old Beca standing in the front entry way of their house, tears streaming down her face.
The divorce was finalized on the eve of her twelfth birthday, and from that point on she rarely saw any emotion on her mother's face. Rather than spending afternoons at school programs or with her friends, she would spend the time cajoling her mom into eating something, taking a shower, or simply moving from her bed so she didn't get bed sores. And Beca, angry with both her father and her mother, did it all alone.
Thirteen months of that routine later (combined with a many of nights spent yelling at her emotionless mother as she laid on her side), she found her mom asleep on the bed with an empty bottle of sleeping pills beside her – never to wake again, and without leaving so much as a note behind.
She moved in with her father – in Georgia, where his new job at Barden University was located – just two days after the funeral.
Beca didn't shed a single tear while telling Chloe about what had happened during the early years of her adolescence, but there was a far off look in her eye that Chloe never forgot – the same one that is staring at her right now, with Chloe still kneeling beside Beca, and Beca lying flat on her back in bed.
And Chloe can't say a single thing – because if she does, anger is going to be the only thing that her tone is laced with – which Beca certainly does not need right now.
Luckily, Beca's mind seems to be so far from the current situation, that the words keep coming. "And you know, I took so long to tell him about her. It wasn't until a couple of months before I found out I was pregnant with Callie. I've always tried so hard to put all of that behind me – you know that. I don't like talking about it – I told you at Barden and that was it. I never felt the need to tell anyone else, and I didn't want to. And he just—" she scoffs again, finally pushing herself up into a seated position, her hands clenched together. "He wrangled it out of me, just like he did everything else. Pushing, and pushing, and pushing until I finally just screamed it at him. And-and his face, he just, he looked sympathetic for maybe a minute, and then asked why I hadn't told him sooner."
A lump forms in Chloe's throat as she sees Beca's eyes – unlike during the first (and only conversation that they ever had about her mom) – fill with tears. The ability to speak alludes her, but Beca doesn't seem to be needing a break.
"He used it against me every chance he got. Every time that I did something wrong – as a girlfriend, a mom, a wife – it was 'oh you must've gotten that from your mother', or 'don't you remember what happened with your parents?' Eventually, I became numb to the words – they stopped stinging when he said them, but Jesus I heard them on a loop inside of my head every day."
Once the first tear escapes Beca's eyes, it's hard for them to stop, especially with the way she begins gesturing with her hands as she stares past Chloe at the wall behind her. All of the frustration, the pain, the anger, the fear from Dr. Cole's question pouring from her.
"And do you know how fucking hard it was – it is – day in and day out, living in this god damn house, with that asshole making me want nothing more than to-to leave but then absolutely hating myself because I promised myself that I would never become my mother – no matter how hard it got. I would never leave my kids – the two most amazing, wonderful children in the entire world – like she left me."
Beca angrily wipes her cheeks with her hand, her voice raising; Chloe's own face becomes damp. "Yet, somehow, he gets to do this?! He gets to use it against me, and he gets to tell that-that person that is just going to decide where my kids live knowing next to nothing about the absolute hell we endured in this place – about something that I have tried avoiding my entire life? After I've spent the last ten fucking years fighting not to become her? Fighting to be stronger than her? Fighting to be stronger for my kids and for-for myself?" Beca's voice cracks, her face bright red with exertion, and if Chloe hadn't been so focused on her, she might be worried about the kids coming in – but right now, she sees Beca and only Beca, who may or may not be hanging on by her last thread. Her heart shatters even more when Beca's voice quiets, cracking ever so slightly and becoming so much quieter than her original explanations. "How the h-hell is that fair?"
For the first time since coming into the bedroom, Chloe is no longer frozen in her spot. She sets her own anger and frustration to the side before completely enveloping Beca and pulling her into her chest. She strokes the back of the brunette's head as Beca's hand comes up to grip the back of her shirt, whispering quiet, soothing hums into her hair. Chloe's own tears continue to fall as she shakes her head, attempting to keep her voice steady – yet still failing miserably. "It isn't fair – not at all. But you didn't just try to be stronger than your mom, Bec, you were. You fought and fought, and you are not your mother. Your mother was sick – she was – but that does not make you and her the same person. You are the absolute strongest person I know and whether you fought for Callie and Henry, or you did it for yourself, I am so, so, happy that you did because now you get to live an actual life full of happiness and peace that you – more than anyone I know – deserve. If anything, that idiot downstairs should be seeing how that has made you more than capable of being a parent – not less than."
Chloe tightens her arms around Beca, trying her best to radiate empathy and pride rather than the burning desire to rip Dr. Cole a new one. She succeeds for a while, standing with Beca in her arms for who knows how long, until Beca finally sits back on her legs, eyes even puffier than they were before.
Chloe's demeanor softens even more as she reaches out to gently brush the remaining moisture from Beca's skin. She tries to ignore the faint blush on Beca's cheeks – telling herself it's from exhaustion and the pouring out of her emotions in the last half hour – and stares into her misty, steel blue eyes. "I'm going to say this again because I need you to hear it: I can't imagine what you've gone through in the last ten years. I can't imagine how difficult it was, to stay as strong as you did, for you and your family. But never, in a million years, do I want you to think that that has made you weak. You fought, Bec, more than anyone I know. You fought and you are winning. It might not feel like it right now, but trust me, with Theo bringing things like your mom into the discussion – he's feeling the heat. He knows that he is going to need to put up a fight. But, clearly, he hasn't learned anything since this whole thing started because he is still underestimating you."
There's something in Beca's expression – whether it's the way her eyes continue to hold Chloe's gaze, or the way the corner of her mouth quirks upwards ever so slightly, she isn't sure – that tells Chloe that Beca is hearing her and at least trying to believe that what she's saying, is true. And Chloe continues staring at her until Beca gently squeezes her hand, and looks away, almost ashamed, but giving Chloe the additional push she needs to go take care of the other half of this situation.
Chloe briefly looks around the room before finding a box of tissues on the dresser. She briefly abandons Beca to pluck a couple from the cardboard, handing them back to the still-sniffling woman, whose image is just about shattering Chloe's heart. She waits until Beca wipes her face, before giving her hand one last squeeze. "I'm going to be right back – and then we are going to go get those kids of yours, and we are going to curl up on the couch and watch Frozen for the thousandth time with a big bowl of popcorn and an unlimited supply of hot cocoa because that is what you – as the absolute best mother, friend, and person – deserve. Okay?"
Beca snorts, giving Chloe yet another glimpse at the brunette's true personality (one that she barely sees any more, but one, all the same, that has been fighting to come out in the rarest of moments since the two reunited), but the humor quickly disappears when Beca looks back up at Chloe. "Where are you going?"
Chloe shakes her head, already moving toward the door. The pull is strong enough to trump Chloe's strong desire to stay and just hold Beca. But, like the brunette, she knows that Beca, Callie, and Henry's safety is of utmost priority – for everyone.
That burden is no longer just falling on Beca.
"I'll be right back. Put some sweats on or something. Em is with the kids – we'll rope her into a movie afternoon, too."
Chloe can tell that Beca isn't convinced that everything is okay. But she gives her one last reassuring smile, and leaves the bedroom, closing the door behind her, before wiping the remaining tears from her face and stalking down the hall.
The anger that she had pushed aside to comfort her best friend quickly rises as she approaches her destination. She can feel her nostrils flare with each deep breath, in through her nose and out through her mouth, the fight building inside of her, just like it does any time that someone messes with her family.
She's about to explode by the time she gets to the dining room, Dr. Cole continuing to, obliviously, type away on her computer.
"How dare you?"
The noise must startle the psychiatrist because she jumps in her chair, her head spinning to face Chloe as she struggles to maintain a distance that can't be used in a court of law as evidence of assault. But the older woman looks shocked enough, leveling her own glare with the redhead. "I beg your pardon?"
Chloe shakes her head, a look of utter disbelief gracing her features as she starts to pace in front of the woman. She doesn't break down like this very often – not since her college days – but every feeling of defense for Beca is just fighting to be heard at this point. She is sick and tired of Beca being pushed and shoved around; of being dragged through the mud by this horrible excuse for a man. At this point, the thought of her jeopardizing Beca's evaluation doesn't even cross her mind because she is simply determined to have this woman see some sort of clarity.
And just like that, the bottle opens.
"How dare you ask Beca about her mother? How dare you even believe a word that asshole says? After everything she's been through? After everything that you had to have seen today. Because, let me tell you, there's no way you didn't see the way that she still jumps when her kids suddenly get a little louder, or how she completely avoids any sort of seat or area affiliated with Theo. What about the way that she never really lets Callie and Henry out of her sight? Or how, even though her fingernails are so short, she was most definitely picking at them while you were talking. Did she make them bleed this time? Or did you notice how she probably didn't even feel that pain?"
Chloe's voice rises a little bit more, at this point snarling at the woman sitting in front of her. "Maybe you should spend the night! See how she can't even go into her bedroom because of everything that he did to her in there? Do you want to see how she wakes up multiple times when she is trying to get just the slightest bit of rest because of the horrors that greet her when she closes her eyes? Do you want to pretend to still be asleep while you're lying next to her because you don't want to overwhelm her, or make her feel embarrassed or like she's a burden?"
Chloe's tears resume once more, but she doesn't even notice them.
"Or, maybe, we should go back in time to hours after she escaped her husband. Do you want to see how she wouldn't look anyone – the people she used to consider her family – in the eye? Or how her kids clung to her because they were stuck in this house just as much as she was? Do you want to see how all three of them – even still, to this day – can be startled by their own shadow?"
She shakes her head, Dr. Cole stunned to silence.
"But no, no all you see – all you want to see – are two happy kids playing with games and toys in their big house. Two kids, a little shy around strangers, but with the biggest, most content smiles on their face when their mother is right beside them. You just want to see Beca enjoying her day, making memories with her daughter and son, making them lunch, putting them down for a nap – just like any other day – without even thinking about the fact that the only reason why Callie and Henry act like that is because of how strong Beca is. Because she is the only reason why her kids are the way they are. She is the only reason that they smile, and laugh, and get to have some part of a normal childhood."
Chloe takes a deep breath, taking a moment to gather her bearings. She closes her eyes, listens to the pounding of the blood in her ears and the soft movements up on the second floor, and lowers her voice when she readdresses the evaluator. "Beca survived ten years in an abusive relationship. She kept two kids from ever knowing the unspeakable evils that her husband committed, and she risked her own life to do that. Instead of asking Beca about her mother's mental illness and whether or not it may be affecting her – maybe consider asking yourself why Theo thought that it would impact her in that way. Why these actions and events might trigger her in such a way. Instead of forcing Beca to relive traumatizing event after traumatizing event, maybe you should look at the whole picture and recognize that you are being played by Theo just like everyone else that is living in the blissful peace of the world that refuses to listen and open their eyes."
Chloe scoffs, seething as she glares daggers at the woman. "Write that in your damn report."
Beca doesn't sleep that night. Her brain, though never really having the opportunity to shut off in years, is far too busy reliving the day she had with Dr. Cole, as well as battling the nerves associated with the kids seeing Theo in the morning.
So, she sits on the couch in her living room, listening to Chloe's steady breathing and the quiet whirring of the refrigerator as she keeps her eyes closed, running her fingers lightly over the threads of the blanket.
She'd be lying if she said that she didn't hear everything that Chloe said to Dr. Cole. It was kind of hard not to when Beca's senses were heightened from the events of that afternoon, and it wasn't like Chloe was being very quiet.
Beca would also be lying if she said it didn't mean a lot to her to hear Chloe – of all people – say those things. To stick up for her and her kids when it's just been Beca doing it for so long.
And sure, Dr. Cole's question (and Theo's pointing out) of her mother's depression remains heavy on her mind. But hearing Chloe say – multiple times – that she isn't like her mother and that she is strong (because, let's be honest, Beca is feeling weaker and weaker these days) - alleviated the pain ever so slightly.
But the anxiety is still there. She still hears Dr. Cole's interrogative statements and can practically feel Theo's presence as she walked around the house that night getting the kids ready for bed. Yet Chloe's words, the ones reminding Beca just how much she has fought and how much she is capable of, are battling hard to be heard over all of the other noise inside of her head.
The afternoon of movies and cuddling with the kids helped as well, with neither Callie nor Henry understanding what all of the yelling that woke them up from their nap had been about, but certainly not complaining when Chloe and Emily corralled them downstairs after Dr. Cole had finished speaking with the two other Bellas (she took longer with Emily than she did with Chloe, Chloe having gotten everything she wanted to say off of her chest when yelling at the psychiatrist). But as Beca sat with Callie curled into her side and Henry sitting on her lap, the closeness of her kids simply reminded her that at that time tomorrow, they'd be back with Theo for some sort of supervised visitation, so that Dr. Cole could compare how they act around him, to how they act around her.
Which is what Beca is focusing on right now, her eyelids heavy as Emily pulls into the parking spot at the hotel where Theo is staying, Chloe staring up at the building with narrowed eyes.
Beca just feels like she's going to throw up.
Her leg is bouncing up and down in the back seat where she's sitting in between Callie and Henry; her heart hasn't stopped pounding against her ribcage since, well, never, really. Her body aches and her head is tired; and yet, despite the fear she has for seeing Theo – it is undoubtedly outweighed by the fear of having her kids seeing him, and staying with him.
Emily turns the car off, turning around in her seat to address Beca and break the silence. "We still have about five minutes."
Beca gulps with a slight nod, trying to take a deep breath that is calming and stabilizing, but one that doesn't startle the kids.
She told them what they were doing here before they left the house. Callie, naturally, was over the moon and has been smiling since finding out. Henry, on the other hand, has been quiet – at first, Beca thought it was just because it was the morning. But as the hours passed and they finally got into the car, he still hasn't spoken much, and he spent the car ride with his hand wrapped around Beca's finger.
"Mama?"
Beca glances down at Callie, her head tilted in anticipation of her answer. "Bug?"
"You're gonna come inside to see Daddy, right?"
Beca's stomach churns at the question, her nerves spiking. She forces a smile on her face, nonetheless. Emily and Chloe offered to take them up themselves, but Beca would never let that happen. There is no way in hell that he is getting his hands on her kids without her first looking him in the eye and letting him know that if anything happens, she will come back in in a heartbeat. "I am. But I can't stay. It's just going to be you, Henry, Daddy, and Dr. Cole. I'll be right out here the whole time, though."
Callie fiddles with her seatbelt, keeping her legs back and forth against the seat. "You can stay if you wanna. Maybe we could play Candyland. Like at home?"
Beca takes another deep breath and reaches over to unbuckle her. She catches Callie's gaze, and tries not to let the girl see the pure fear in her own eyes. "I can't Cal, remember? We talked about how Dr. Cole was going to hang out with you, Henry, and Daddy, just like she hung out with us yesterday?"
"But how come you can't stay?"
Beca twirls one of Callie's braids around her finger. "Because this is just Callie and Henry and Daddy time. Even though I won't be in the hotel room with you guys, I am going to be right out here. If you need anything, you just come outside, okay?"
Callie, though clearly unsatisfied with the answer, nods. "Can we go inside now?"
Despite the bile rising in her throat – and her desire to do anything but – Beca agrees.
Callie grins, climbing out of her seat and pushing the car door open. Beca works on getting Henry out of his car seat and climbing out of the back. As soon as she does so, Henry is wrapping his legs and arms around her with a grip that Beca has become accustomed to. She glances up at the looming edifice, Theo's room on one of the top floors, and tries to lessen the nerves coursing through her.
It doesn't work.
The nerves continue to run high as the group of five make their way toward the hotel, Chloe shouldering the bag of books and toys and food that Beca packed for the kids this morning. They run high as they walk past the front desk and toward the elevator, Beca keeping her head down in hopes that nobody recognizes her. The nerves worsen as they file into the elevator, Beca pressing herself up against the far wall and trying to make herself small as she grips onto Callie's hand, ignoring the looks of worry being passed between Chloe and Emily in front of her.
By the time they reach the 25th floor, Callie getting antsy and Henry remaining silent, Beca's breathing has quickened, her grip on Callie's hand as tightened, and her legs feel like lead as she forces herself to leave the elevator when the doors open.
She hasn't even made it to Theo's door for the evaluation and already she doesn't know if she will be able to do this every week for visitation.
Callie excitedly leads them down the hallway to room 251, with Beca and Henry being dragged behind her and Chloe and Emily not far away. The blood is pounding in Beca's ears by the time they're standing in front of the hotel door, her hands clammy and her breathing not at all even. But words allude her as Callie reaches up to knock on the door without any hesitation.
Chloe's hand finds the small of Beca's back, and Beca can't help but feel grateful for the added support when she hears someone walking across the floor, and the sliding of the lock from its metal cage.
She lets out a sigh of relief when it is Dr. Cole standing there, taking in Callie's excited features and Beca's pale face.
"Good morning, everyone. How are we doing today?"
Callie furrows her eyebrows. "Where's Daddy?"
Dr. Cole lets out a light laugh. "He's inside, but I just wanted to talk to you guys and your mom really quick before we go see him. Is that okay?"
No longer faced with the imminent possibility of seeing her dad, Callie shrugs, leaning up against Beca's leg. Beca, too, lets out a breath, though not relaxing in the slightest knowing that Theo is right around the corner. She doesn't answer the psychiatrist, either, and instead, waits for her to continue talking.
"So, we'll be here for a couple of hours. The kids will not be left alone with Mr. Wright – I will be here the entire time. I will simply be observing how they interact with Mr. Wright, and then when we're done, I'll give you a call to come get them, alright?"
Beca forces herself to nod, tearing her eyes away from inside the hotel room to actually look Dr. Cole in the eye. "I would like to stay for a moment to make sure they're settled in. Please."
Dr. Cole's eyebrows arch in surprise. "Are you sure?"
Yes, because this is something she can do. It's something that she has always done. She can put aside her own comfort to ensure the safety and well-being of the kids. But she doesn't say any of that to her. Instead, she just says, "yes."
Dr. Cole nods slowly, opening up the door a little wider and letting Beca, the kids, and Emily and Chloe into the hotel room.
Beca stops cold as soon as she sees Theo standing in the living area, that same glint in his eye, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Daddy!" Callie wrenches her hand from Beca's running across the room and throwing herself into Theo's arms. It's a sight that will never not make Beca want to be sick. Especially when Theo lifts her up, spins her around, and hugs her so tightly that Beca just wants to get over there and make sure he never touches her again.
"Hello, Callie Girl. I missed you!"
Callie wraps her arms around Theo's neck, grinning so brightly that it lights up the room. "I missed you too!"
With a dramatic 'humph', Theo places Callie back on the ground, placing his hand on top of her head, and tilting it so that she's looking up at him. "What've you been up to, Cal? Are you enjoying being back home?"
"Mhmm! We got to play with Karla the other day!"
"Ah…" Theo looks up at Beca for the first time since she came into the hotel room. "Still paying for someone else to entertain the kids, I see?"
His words feel like a blow to the stomach.
Before she can even respond, Dr. Cole is stepping in with a warning. "Mr. Wright."
Theo holds up his hand in surrender, wrapping his other around Callie and pulling her into his side. "My apologies. That was unnecessary. How are you, Beca?"
Beca's words get trapped in her throat. She gives a slight nod, holding on to Henry tighter than ever – who hasn't made the slightest indication that he has seen Theo – and manages a quiet, "Theo."
Theo seems to ignore her recognition, and instead, brightens when he faces Henry. "Henry! How's my little man doing?"
With Henry being so young, he really hasn't expressed much discontent with being away from his father. The two never really got close – he has always spent more time with Beca – but even so, neither Beca, nor Chloe nor Emily, had an idea of how Henry might react when reunited with Theo. But, to their surprise, instead of showing the slightest acknowledgment of recognizing his father, or even being remotely excited like his sister, Henry just stares at the man, before laying his head down on Beca's shoulder.
Theo tenses at this, and Beca's heart rate spikes when she sees his eyebrow twitch, and a light cough emerge from his mouth – just as it always does in the beginning stages of his frustration.
Not one to be made to look bad, Theo begins to cross the room towards where Henry, and by default, Beca, is. Beca stiffens as he gets closer, and she is grateful when Chloe and Emily, albeit silently, come up on either side of her. Theo reaches his hands out for Henry. "Henry! You want to come and see Daddy?"
Henry's legs tighten around Beca's waist, and he buries his head in the crook of her neck.
Theo is so close to them that Beca can smell his cologne, which does absolutely nothing for her own state of mind, but the way that Henry is holding on to her, the way that he is practically hiding from his father's gaze, is enough to serve as something else to pay attention to. Something that she can focus on, rather than the fact that Theo is standing less than two feet away from her.
Beca rocks Henry gently from side to side. "What's going on, monkey? You okay?"
"Come on, Henry, it's all good. Come say hello to Daddy." Theo reaches out to take Henry once more, and this time, his hands brush Beca's arm.
Beca flinches backward, bumping into Chloe who keeps her hand on her back, before leveling a glare with Theo. Her voice still comes out timid, but the message is still there. "Just give him a second. He clearly isn't comfortable right now."
"Oh? And who's fault is that?"
Dr. Cole takes a step in between Beca and Theo, as does Emily, who continues to hold her arm out to maintain the distance. "Mr. Wright, why don't we take a few steps back?"
Beca tries to pay attention only to Henry as Theo huffs and grumbles back against the counter, but her attention is taken once again when Callie comes up beside her. "What's wrong with Henry, Mama?"
Beca shifts Henry more to her side, crouching down so she's more level with Callie. She looks between her two kids, ignoring the whispered conversation happening between Theo and Dr. Cole. "I'm not sure, bug. Henry, are you doing okay?"
When he lifts his head up, Beca can see the fear in his eyes. It just about breaks her heart. "Mama, stay?"
Beca presses a kiss into his head. "I can't stay, buddy, but Callie is going to be here, and you guys are going to have a fun afternoon and we'll go back home in a couple of hours."
Callie lays her hand on her brother's back. "It's okay, Henry. We're going to play lots of games. Don't you want to have fun with Daddy?"
Whether it's because he can sense something is wrong with Beca or if he has his own feelings about Theo, Beca isn't sure, but his lack of comfortability is abundantly clear.
Instead of answering Callie's question, he looks up at Beca with tears in his eyes. His nose scrunches and his lip trembles as he says, more firmly this time, "Mama, stay."
With Beca's resolve weakening, she holds Henry against her chest, just as Emily crouches down beside them. "Would you be comfortable playing a game for a bit?"
Emily had lowered her voice to a whisper, but it does not accomplish what she was looking for it to. Instead, Callie hears her loud and clear. "Yes! Mama, we should play Trouble! Chloe, can I see the bag?"
She bounces up and down as she runs over to where Chloe is standing a mere six inches away, holding the handles of the bag open as Callie rummages through it.
Emily pulls her attention back. "If you're not comfortable—"
Beca shakes her head, standing on uneasy legs. She's not doing this for herself. She'll deal with it for her kids. "It's fine."
She carries Henry over to where a couch and coffee table are spread out in a grand living space, this hotel undoubtedly costing a fortune (paid for all with money from her paycheck). She settles onto the floor on the side of the table furthest from the couch as Callie runs over with the game, practically setting it up before she is able to place the box on the table, with Theo mumbling something to Dr. Cole as she does so.
Eventually, by the time Callie is ready to go, Theo is taking a seat on the couch and Beca is trying hard to remember to keep breathing, yet, like a lot of the things she's done since returning back to Los Angeles, Beca almost feels robotic as she falls back into the mindset – playing the happy wife and mother, hiding a world of secrets from (and for) her kids.
They play two games – Beca only lifting her eyes from the game board when Callie is speaking to her directly. Otherwise, she stays focused on moving her pieces and, in the beginning, Henry's, and simply trying not to completely crumble under Theo's gaze. She listens as him and Callie engage in light conversations, focusing on keeping her hands from shaking and her voice from cracking. By the end of the second game, Henry has moved from Beca's lap, her one source of comfort disappearing, and is bouncing up and down next to his sister.
With Callie placing her last pawn in the 'safety' area she begins her celebration, taking Henry's hands and forcing him to jump along with her.
As they enjoy being kids, Beca makes her escape. She pushes herself up off of the carpet and cautiously walks back over to where Chloe and Emily have been watching her like a hawk, and Dr. Cole has started taking notes on the same notepad she had at the house yesterday.
She looks up at Beca when she comes over, whispering, "I will call you if we need you to come up any earlier, but I'm sure they will be—"
"Mama! No, no, you stay!" Henry's screech causes Beca to jump and before she knows it, Henry is running back over to her, arms outstretched as he leaps into her arms.
"Henry, you need to stay here with Callie and me." Theo stands up from the couch in frustration, Beca looking at him for the first time since the start of their games. She backs up into Chloe's shoulder as he stalks over to them. He turns to face Dr. Cole. "The whole reason for the evaluation is to see how they act without her interfering."
With the ever-so-slight raise in Theo's voice, Beca watches as Henry's bottom lip starts to tremble. She holds him tight as Callie, too, freezes in the living area. And Beca, herself, digs her teeth into the inside of her cheek, the slight pain taking away from the panic rising inside of her.
"Mr. Wright, I am well aware, but what is most important here, is that your kids are comfortable. Henry is clearly not, so we need to take this one step at a time."
Beca can see the conflict in Theo's posture – the one that asks if he should fight back, like he always does, or if he should continue playing the part of the doting husband and father. After a moment's hesitation, he chooses the latter, holding his hands out to Henry once more.
"Can I just – I haven't hugged my son in so long. Can we at least try?"
Beca wants to be sick at his words, and really doesn't want to do what he's asking as Henry's grip seems to tighten around her. But when Dr. Cole nods and gestures to do what Theo said, she doesn't exactly have a choice.
She gulps, starting to lift Henry away from her and toward Theo. "You want to go say 'hi' to Daddy, baby?"
Henry doesn't get a chance to respond because as soon as he is far enough away from Beca's torso, Theo reaches out and brings him into his own chest.
The scream that fills the apartment is deafening.
Henry flails in Theo's hold, his legs kicking out against the older man and his face bright red as he screams as loud as his lungs will allow. He pounds his fists against Theo's chest as he tries to hold him tighter, hot tears streaming down his face.
Beca springs into action, not even caring that she's outwardly defying Theo in a way that she has never done before as she does so. She ignores his protests and wrenches Henry from his grasp, holding him close to her chest and returning back to Chloe and Emily's sides as she coos to her son, trying to calm him down.
She shakes her head when Dr. Cole looks like she's going to say something. "Nope – that's it. Either I'm staying or we're not doing this today. He clearly does not want to be left alone with him."
It's a statement that Beca knows shocks everyone in the room – herself included. The only other time she has spoken out against Theo was in the courtroom, and even that was indirectly. But here she is, physically taking Henry away from him, and telling him one of the words he hates most of all.
No.
Unsurprisingly, Chloe and Emily close in around her, Chloe placing one hand protectively on Henry's back, and one hand on Beca's. Emily, too, moves in against Beca's side, addressing Dr. Cole. "I agree. Henry's well-being is not going to be sacrificed for a couple hours of observation."
Theo seethes quietly beside Dr. Cole, the psychiatrist unaware – though Beca is watching him like a hawk – that he is clenching and unclenching his fists by his side. He doesn't get a chance to answer, the other woman beating him to it. "I agree. I was able to see a little bit with the games, but Henry might be a little young for this kind of situation right now."
Theo turns to her with fire in his eyes. "You are supposed to make unbiased decisions and an unbiased report – this is clearly—"
"In the best interest of your child, Mr. Wright. I would not recommend it if it weren't." Dr. Cole cuts him off with less than twenty words and a sharp nod of her head, effectively silencing any more of his protests. She walks around him, gently approaching Callie, who has been watching the exchange from the living room. "Miss Callie, how are you feeling, kiddo? Are you up to spending a few more hours with your father?"
Theo recovers as Dr. Cole brings Callie back into the discussion. He turns away from Beca, Henry, and Emily and Chloe. "Yeah, Callie Girl, you're good to stay with me for a few more hours, right? You want to play some of your other games?"
Beca can hear the manipulation in Theo's wording – it's the same way he used to ask her questions. And if there's one thing that she has learned over the years, it's that she will not let Theo affect the kids like he affected her. She walks over to Callie before Theo has a chance to, still softly rubbing Henry's back as his sniffling begins to subside. "What do you want to do Cal? It's up to you."
Callie looks hesitantly from her mom and brother, back to her father, who is standing not far behind Beca. She visibly gulps, and Beca knows what she wants to say, even if she isn't able to voice it.
Beca gives her a reassuring nod, her heart aching. "It's okay, bug. You can stay here and spend some time with Daddy. I'll be right downstairs, and you come get me if you need anything."
Callie lets out a soft breath, her shoulders relaxing, and a small smile appearing on her face. "You'll be downstairs?"
"I'll be downstairs." She shifts Henry to one side, holding out her other arm. "Come here, give me a hug and kiss." Callie does so, and when she pulls away, she seems much more content than she was before. "Love you. Have fun."
Callie grins, bouncing a little as she heads back over to her dad. "Love you too, Mama! Come on, Daddy, let's play another round."
Watching Callie giggle as she goes back to set up the board game makes Beca feel the slightest bit better about where her head is at, but she still turns to Dr. Cole. "You're going to be here the entire time? And you'll call me if—"
"I promise I will call you if anything happens or if Callie needs anything. I will not leave her alone; you have my word."
Beca smiles her thanks, pushing herself up off the ground to head back towards the door. "Have fun, Cal."
Callie doesn't even look up from the board game as she shouts back, "Bye, Mama!"
Callie doesn't stop smiling for the rest of the night.
She tells everyone all about the fun times that she had with her father, asking Beca multiple times throughout her bedtime routine when she is going to get to see him again.
Each time Callie says something about him, it feels like someone is ripping Beca's heart from her chest and squeezing it. She is so glad that nothing happened while Callie was with him, but a bigger part of her is more concerned – and aware – that he is just sticking his talons deeper and deeper inside of the poor girl.
Clearly, spending one afternoon with him, has decreased some of Callie's worries about what has been going on between her parents.
But she can't ask for anything other than her kids' happiness and safety, so Beca plays along, smiling (grimacing) at each one of Callie's stories, all the way up until Dr. Cole arrives the next morning for the final part of her evaluation: talking with the kids.
Beca thought that she was going to have to put up a fight with the psychiatrist upon her arrival and potentially needing to leave Henry, who did not leave her side all night ( eventually Beca just let him sleep on her rather than in his own bed). But Dr. Cole only seemed interested in chatting with Callie when she arrived at the house at ten o'clock in the morning, dressed in the same black pant suit – different blouse – with her note-taking tools ready to go.
And Callie, still in her post-visit-with-Theo bliss, barely looks up from the toys in her room when Beca brings Dr. Cole upstairs.
"Cal, look who's here." Callie lifts her head at her mom's voice, seeing the same woman that has been following them around all week. She doesn't like her – she always just sits there, watching them. It's weird. "Can you say 'hello' to Dr. Cole?"
Callie turns her attention back to her doll. "Hi."
"Good morning, Callie, how was your night?" Callie watches out of the corner of her eye how Dr. Cole places her bag on the ground by her drawing table and takes a seat at one of the little chairs that is pushed under it. She has to hold in a laugh when she sees the woman struggle to not fall over.
"Fine."
"Callie, can you please put your baby down? Just for a little bit, kiddo, and then you can go back to playing."
Reluctantly, Callie does as her mother asks. She sits crisscross-apple-sauce on her carpet, turning to face the woman.
Dr. Cole gives her a light smile. "Did you do anything fun last night, Callie?"
Callie shrugs. "We watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."
"Oh, yeah? Did you like it?"
"It was okay."
Beca comes closer to her, crouching down beside Callie and bringing a comfort to the young girl that she didn't know she was missing. Callie sinks into her Mama's side when she wraps her arm around her shoulder. "Cal, Dr. Cole is here to talk to you for a bit. Does that sound alright?"
They warned her about this – her Mama, Emily, and Chloe. They said that Dr. Cole was going to want to come talk to her. But to be honest, she was kind of hoping that they had forgotten. "Do I have to?"
Dr. Cole gives her a small smile. "I promise I'll make it really quick. And your Mama will be right downstairs if you need anything."
Callie lets out a 'humph' but reluctantly agrees. "Fine."
After Beca says goodbye with a kiss on her head, Callie is forced to actually make eye contact with the other woman. She has that stupid notebook out again. Callie can't help but wonder what she's writing in it.
"Did you have fun with your dad yesterday, Callie?"
At the first question, Callie lights up. She did have fun with her dad yesterday. It was so good to see him and even though it was a little weird that Henry cried when he was supposed to give Daddy a hug, she was happy to have gotten some on-one-one time with him. "Mhmm."
"Yeah? What was your favorite game that you played?"
Callie shrugs. "I dunno. Candyland probably."
"That was a good one."
Callie nods in agreement. "Yeah, but it's more fun when Mama and Henry play, too."
Dr. Cole jots something down with her pencil, the tip scratching against the notepad. "Yeah, I bet. Did you play a lot of games together when you were living with both Mama and Daddy?"
It's getting kind of harder to think back to before her, Mama, and Henry left for New York City and moved into the apartment and met Chloe and Bella and Aubrey and Emily and Stacie. She remembers a lot of it, but the details are sort of becoming fuzzy. But this question she knows the answer to. "Not really. Daddy worked a lot. Me and Mama and Henry played, though."
"Did your Mama work a lot, too? She was a pretty good singer, huh?"
Callie shakes her head, playing with her doll's arms. "Yep. And no, not really. Only when she was singing in other places. But me and Henry would go with her. Daddy had to work at the office and sometimes he would be gone so late that we wouldn't even get to say goodnight."
"What did you do with Daddy when he was home?"
Becoming more and more interested in her doll, Callie shrugs again. "I dunno. A lot of times he would work in his office. Sometimes we played together."
"And what about with Mama? Did you play together a lot?"
"All the time. We play board games, and pretend games, and color, and we go swimming, and we do so much stuff. With Karla, too. Karla is really fun."
Dr. Cole smirks. "I met Karla the other day. She was very nice, and she seemed really fun."
Callie quirks her head to the side. "You met Karla?"
"I did. We talked for a little bit just like we are talking right now."
Callie furrows her eyebrows and finally looks Dr. Cole in the eye. "How come you're talkin' to everyone?"
"Well, that's my job. Like your Mama is a signer, and Chloe is a teacher – I talk to a lot of people."
The confusion is evident on Callie's face. "How come?"
"Because sometimes, people need help making really hard choices. That's where I come in. I talk to everyone, and I make a suggestion about what they should do."
"Hard choices like what?"
Dr. Cole places her pencil on the notepad and rests them both on the carpet in front of her. "Well, your Mama has told you a little bit about why you're back in LA, right?"
Callie falls silent, thinking back to the conversation that she had with her mom prior to leaving New York. She doesn't think it ended well, but she vaguely recalls it had something to do with people needing to ask her questions – people like Dr. Cole – and making sure everyone is happy. "Kinda."
"What did your Mama tell you about why you were here?"
Callie shrugs again. "She said that people wanted to make sure we were all happy. I think."
Dr. Cole gives her a small smile. "That's right. So, I just want to talk to you for a little bit about what makes you happy. Does that sound like a plan?"
Callie sighs. It sounds like it's going to take forever, and she doesn't really want to be up here all alone. She glances hesitantly out the door, swearing that she can hear Beca, Henry, Chloe, and Emily, watching a movie and having fun downstairs without her. "For how long?"
A light laugh escapes Dr. Cole's mouth. "I'll try and go as fast as possible. Deal?"
"Okay."
"Wonderful. So, you lived in this house for your entire life, huh?"
"Yep."
"Do you like it here?"
"Mhmm."
"Why do you like it here?"
"'Cuz it has my toys and books and stuff. And a pool. The apartment doesn't have a pool."
"Are you talking about the apartment in New York?"
Callie pulls her baby doll back onto her lap. "Uh huh."
"Do you like the apartment in New York?"
"I like sharing a room with Henry. We have sleepovers all the time. And it's the same way at Aubrey and Stacie's. We've been there for a while, too."
"Which one do you think is your favorite? This house, or New York?"
Callie hesitates with her answer, but eventually shares her reasoning. "I dunno. I like Chloe and Emily and Bella and her moms. And school. I kinda like school. Even though I don't play with the other kids a lot. Mama says it's 'cuz I'm an old soul."
Dr. Cole laughs at this, writing down the words New York ++ at the top of the page. "Your Mama was telling me how well you've been doing in school. I heard you're learning lots of new things."
"Yep. I got a 100% on my spelling test before I came here."
"Wow! That's amazing! Congratulations!"
Callie gives her a cheeky grin. "Thank you."
"You're absolutely welcome." Dr. Cole takes a deep breath. "It must've been pretty hard, though, huh? Moving all the way to New York?"
Callie runs her fingers over a loose thread in her doll's dress. She hasn't seen her in so long and she doesn't remember the thread being there before. "Maybe. I was scared a lot. But now it's better."
"You have been very brave that's for sure. What do you think you missed the most about living in Los Angeles?"
Callie doesn't even need to hesitate in her answer this time around. "Karla. Karla is my best friend. She lives here, so I can't see her when I live in New York."
"I'm sure that has been very difficult. Has your Mama let you talk on the phone with Karla?" Dr. Cole writes down Callie's response, not sure if she's surprised or not that it had nothing to do with Theo.
"Not really. But I saw her a few days ago. And she's coming for dinner tonight. Mama's making baked ziti."
"That sounds delicious." Though wanting to circle back to this topic, Dr. Cole follows the flow of the conversation. "Do you ever help your Mama cook?"
"Sometimes. Not really with breakfast 'cuz I sleep in a lot, but I like making dinner and lunch. And dessert. We made a cake once; that was super fun."
"Do you enjoy spending time with your mom? Does that make you happy?"
Callie gives her a definitive nod. "Uh huh. Mama's my other best friend. We do all sorts of stuff together. And she gives the best hugs. And bedtime songs."
Smiling softly at her answer once more, Dr. Cole writes her findings on the lines – not that any of it really surprises her. The relationships between Callie and Beca, and Henry and Beca, were apparent from the first moment Dr. Cole laid eyes on them. "What about spending time with your dad? Does that make you happy?"
This answer is much less enthusiastic than her last one. "Yeah."
"What do you do when you hang out with Daddy?"
"Sometimes we play games. Sometimes we watch TV. If I'm quiet, he sometimes lets me read when he's working. But Mama always comes to get me before I'm even allowed to finish a chapter."
Though knowing the real reason why Beca wouldn't leave her in the office with Theo, unattended, Dr. Cole doesn't say anything to clarify. Instead, she gently treads to her next line of questioning – the one that she always dreads. "What would happen if you weren't quiet when you were reading in your dad's office? Would he ask you to leave before your mom came and got you?"
Callie seems unphased by the answer. "He would get angry and yell. I would go play by myself after that."
Dr. Cole's stomach churns. Years of doing this work and it never gets easier. "Did he yell a lot?"
Again, Callie's answer is dripping with nonchalance and even a bit of humor. "Yeah. When he gets really angry, his face gets all red. Sometimes, spit would come from his mouth, too."
"Would he yell like that at you a lot?"
"Sometimes. But not really. Mama would always make me go upstairs and listen to music. I always listened to her songs. They're the best."
Dr. Cole gently pushes forward. "So, if he wasn't yelling at you, who would he yell at? Henry?"
Callie giggles like this is some joke in the most normal conversation. "No. Henry's just a baby."
Dr. Cole manages a brief laugh but waits patiently for Callie to continue.
"He'd yell at Mama a lot. Sometimes I would come downstairs without my headphones on. Or I'd hear them at nighttime when I'm supposed to be sleeping." Her eyes widen ever so slightly. "Mama doesn't know though. She'd be angry if she did. And I only did it sometimes. I promise."
"Don't worry, my lips are sealed." Dr. Cole pretends to zip her lips and throw away the key. "So, when you saw your Daddy yelling at Mama, what was your Mama doing? Would she yell back?"
Callie tugs her lips to one side as she looks back down at her doll. "Nope. She would stand there big and tall. She was so brave."
Dr. Cole gives her a sympathetic smile, Callie's innocence about the whole situation crushing her. "It sounds like it."
"Yep. I'm going to be just like her one day."
Dr. Cole sighs at Callie's last comment. She has seen this a lot throughout her career – the mindsets that children grow up with when exposed to unhealthy relationships. It's something that is common, but undoubtedly detrimental to their future. She can't stop herself from addressing it. "Callie, you know that yelling is never okay, right? Most of the time, when people yell, they're being really mean – and that can hurt the feelings of the people that they're yelling at. Like when your dad yells at your mom."
Callie doesn't look up from where she is walking her doll across the carpet. "Yeah, but it's okay because Mama wasn't angry at Daddy after."
"No? How can you be so sure?"
"'Cuz the next morning they'd be happy again. Mama would make Daddy breakfast and then when Daddy left for work, they would kiss and say, 'I love you'. When people say 'I love you', they really mean it – they wouldn't say it if they were mad."
Callie says it so matter-of-fact that Dr. Cole wants nothing more than to believe her. Unfortunately, she knows exactly what Callie is saying and what it means.
After talking a little bit more with Callie about her father's outbursts and about her feelings associated with them (she didn't have much to say, and went quiet after a bit), Dr. Cole goes on to lighter topics. Asking more about school and her relationship with Henry and her relationship with Beca. In the hour and a half-long conversation, Dr. Cole pieces together the remaining parts of her puzzle, giving her enough information to write up a succinct recommendation that she can be confident in.
She leads Callie downstairs, smiling to herself as the little girl visibly lights up at the sight of her mother and her mother's friends sitting on the couch. "Mama, Dr. Cole said I was really good. Can I have a snack?"
Beca chuckles after Callie launches herself into her lap. The brunette presses a kiss into Callie's temple, looking briefly to the psychiatrist for confirmation, before agreeing. "I think that can be arranged. Go take the ice cream out of the freezer and let it warm up a bit."
Grinning, Callie runs off, leaving Beca to cautiously approach the older woman as she puts her shoes on by the door. "Did you uh… were you able to get everything that you needed?"
Dr. Cole nods, feeling herself losing the kid-friendly demeanor. "You have a lovely daughter, Ms. Mitchell. She's incredibly bright, kind, and funny. She got quite a few laughs out of me."
Beca runs her hand up the back of her neck, something that Dr. Cole has noticed that she does when she's nervous (which is basically every minute that Dr. Cole has spent with her). "She's amazing. Both her and Henry are. Thank you, for seeing that, I mean."
With her heels back on her feet, Dr. Cole gains a few inches on Beca. She looks down at the woman, contemplating whether or not to say anything, and finally deciding to go for it. "I'm not at liberty to discuss what Callie and I talked about, and I probably shouldn't even be telling you this, but I would like to say one thing, if you are up for it."
Beca's eyebrows briefly furrow as she nods. "Absolutely."
Dr. Cole shoulders her bag. "I know that you've gone back and forth with whether or not to tell Callie what has been going on with her father – but at some point in the very near future, you are going to have to. It is very important that she understands that the world that she has been growing up in, is not as perfect as she thinks it is."
Beca falls silent at the seriousness of Dr. Cole's words, taking in every bit of meaning that her statements might offer her. And Dr. Cole can see that – she can see it clear as day in the fear on Beca's face.
Eventually, Beca breaks from her stunned silence. "I uh… thank you. Thank you for letting me know. For telling me."
Dr. Cole gives her a stiff nod, one hand on the doorknob. "Of course." She clears her throat. "Once I have filed my recommendation with the court, they'll be in touch about a date for the remainder of the custody hearing. Good luck, Ms. Mitchell."
Thank you so much for reading! This fic will probably end up being about 30 chapters long so we're getting down to it. I'm hoping the next chapter will be up by next Wednesday (hopefully sooner) so keep checking in! I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to hearing any thoughts/comments/critiques that you would like to share.
See you next time!
