Chapter 4- Truth Time
"Kurt, talk to me. I'm here for you."
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, letting the last wet tear roll down his usually composed face and blew his nose. "Come in, Tina."
The girl swung the door open and shut it just as quickly, embracing Kurt in what could only be depicted as the tightest of bear hugs upon seeing his state. "Oh, honey. You're not okay, are you?"
"Not really. Quinn just inadvertently confirmed everything I had thought about myself and created some new theories all in one fell swoop."
"Was it the comment about you being pretty enough to play Glinda?" Tina enquired, noting the point when what little remaining colour had faded from Kurt's cheeks. The boy just nodded despondently.
"I already know that Quinn meant no malice when she chose her words. It's what Glinda is. Glinda is pretty. Beautiful, even. But that's exactly it.
"I'm 'pretty', Tina. That's the extent of it. I'm pretty. I'm cute. Adorable. Rarely am I called handsome or gorgeous or beautiful or God forbid somebody thinks I'm hot." Tina began to interject with vehemence, but Kurt held up a hand to stop her.
"I know exactly what you're about to say and I don't want you to. You may mean it, it may even be true, but I'll never shake the suspicion that you're saying it because we're friends. It's just that every compliment I receive about my appearance is a stereotypically feminine adjective. I'm not a girl, Tina, and I don't want to be a girl. I'm happy with my gender. But I just can't help feeling like I'm not desirable because I resemble more of a female than a male." Kurt exhaled deeply, allowing Tina to speak.
"Kurt Hummel, you need to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror. You are hot. Very much so. The only reason you don't have like nineteen guys falling to their knees just to date you is because we live in a Podunk piece of shit town that only knows how to taint perfection with its disease-ridden Neanderthals roaming the place. And because we're so close I can be completely honest with you. You're not everyone's type. You don't have the easy good looks like Finn. That's true. But I wouldn't worry about that, Kurt. Finn's good looks are boring. There's nothing much after you get past his handsome face. With you, there's so much to look at. Your eyes are literally a mixture of colours I don't think have a name yet. Your skin is so perfect that I'm so extremely jealous. Your hair, your clothes, your legs, these are all things that I would kill to have. You put your self-esteem in the hands of other people, Kurt, and because they've fucked you over royally, you've convinced yourself that you're unlovable. I know what that's like, I really do, but you need to reflect on how you and the people who love you see you."
"Thank you for everything you just said, Tina. That's a sincerely valid theory, but not one that I personally agree. The jocks don't cause my self-loathing and doubt, they amplify it. My own personal views come from what I see in the mirror and how I've treated people in the past. I'm not a good person, and probably will never be, but I guess that's me and I should be true to it. Anyway, I apologise for being so sombre on a night where we should all be vibrant and upbeat. Shall we return to the others, who I presume are listening just outside the door? Between Santana's disposition for knowing everything about everyone and the concern of the other two, they'll all be crowded around the door, trying to listen to everything I'm saying. This shouldn't happen again."
Tina winced at Kurt's last utterance, as though he was warning himself against emotion and showing it. She knew that Kurt was quite a private person, contrary to popular belief, and never liked people seeing how without his air of confidence and extravagance. But she never thought that he was scared of appearing weak and inferior even in the presence of his friends. That was something that he nobody should have to suffer through and she was determined to change.
The Unholy Trinity scuttled away from the door and resumed their original positions in the basement, acting as though nothing had happened. Though Brittany was the one to blow it, feeling the need to give Kurt reassurance.
"We were all just discussing how hot we thought you were, weren't we San?" Santana exhaled deeply and Quinn palmed her face. Kurt giggled, stroking Brittany's hair.
"I don't mind that you guys were listening. It just means I don't have to repeat myself. I apologise for the interjection. Now, let's get back down to business. I was thinking about my plan to exterminate Puckerman from everything, right? But how are four people going to take down one of the town's most well-known criminals and whores? Easy. We stick together." Santana nodded in acquiescence.
"No matter what. Even if we begin to hate each other before this is finished, we remain as a cohesive unit until Puckerman has been sank. Any divergence from our ultimate goal will be met with suspicions of weakness and naivety and we need to appear strong and focused, not to mention completely fierce."
"That won't happen, Santana. We're a very close group, I don't see us drifting apart from each other. We know too much about each other to remain as individuals." Santana gaze flickered to Tina, who blinked back casually at her, knowing why she was being looked at. Besides Kurt, the other three knew nothing about her. That would take some bonding missions without Kurt in the mix for them to get to know her as a person. She suspected that she was the loose link of the group; the one to be left behind on a four-person excursion. She didn't mind that, she wasn't Mercedes. She didn't command that people be friends with her and only her. It bothered her only fractionally that the others knew nothing about her. It was that they had never made the effort to. They were nice enough to her, but didn't really show any incentive to grow closer to her. Santana's gaze implied to Tina that she was about to remedy that in order for the harem to truly thrive.
Tina was proven correct when Kurt's shift at Hummel's Tires and Lube began. Kurt changed into his coveralls and left the basement, asking them to remain seated whilst he worked and "talk amongst yourselves." As soon as Kurt left the room and for the second time that day, Santana rounded on Tina.
"As Liberace was saying, we need to be the ultimate weapon against the school and any that stand in our way. So, Tina, you're the one that we know nothing about. No matter who's lapse in judgement that was, it needs to be sorted. So, just who are you, Tina Cohen-Chang?" Santana questioned.
"That's a pretty hard-hitting question, wouldn't you think Santana?" Tina giggled. Santana shrugged.
"Well, I grew up in Ohio, I was adopted, and I have no idea where my birth parents are. I presume they're Asian, because my adoptive parents are both White Americans. I grew up here and it was quite lonely. I didn't really have many friends besides Kurt until high school. I've always known that I loved singing but I've never been confident, as you can probably tell. I faked my stutter last year because I thought it would let people divert their attention from me. It was like a shield, a defence mechanism of sorts. I know that it was wrong to lie about it, but it helped. People didn't bully me, they just left me alone. Eventually I decided that that was better. I saw how Kurt was treated and I didn't want that. I figured it was better to be in the shadows and miserable than in the spotlight and miserable.
"Apart from that, there's not a lot to tell. I like reading and historical fiction. I love old movies and everything about the Jazz Age. And contrary to popular belief, Tina Lola Cohen-Chang is not a vampire."
Santana smirked at the last comment as the three drew in this brief description of their friend and pondered on it. Quinn considered something and spoke up.
"So what's with you and Artie these days? You haven't seemed exactly couple-like."
Tina sighed. "I love him, or at least to the extent of what I believe love to be. I think he loves me, at least he tells me he does. Kurt advised me to wait for him to call me rather than calling him myself. I'm always the first one to talk in a conversation. If I don't he never will. I'm pretty sure he's been playing Halo for the past 300 hours. Nobody's talked to him. I even Facebook messaged Finn to see if he had heard from him. Finn then was confused of who I was for a minute. Finn hasn't heard from him either. I called his mother to check if he was alive, which he is. Mrs Abrams said that he would get back to me once he was "less busy". I knew that was utter bullshit and that he couldn't be bothered with me."
"So why don't you break up with him?" Brittany suggested. "If he's not giving you the time of day that you deserve, then fuck him." Brittany seethed, not liking the way that robot was treating her friend.
"I wish it was that simple. I want to. I know that I should. But every time I see him, I inhale, ready to bitch him out and tell him that we're done, I end up talking about Fro-Yo or the latest Glee Club meeting. I can't do this."
"So you want to, but you can't? Well first day back to school, we'll be right behind you when you do it. I know you may love him, but the little shit is treating you like vermin, Tee." Santana explained, the nickname slipping out. Tina rather thought she liked it. After all, Artie didn't have any cute pet names for her. "Look, I'm not going to pretend like we've been best friend for ten years like Kurt and Britt, but I care about you and you only deserve the best man. Artie is being sub-par and anyone enrolled in the KHHHB needs only the finest attachment possible."
"Is that an order?" Tina smirked.
"Only if you fly that way." Santana stated, purring slightly.
Tina shivered, something strange crawling up her back. Blushing, she looked down. Santana's eyes widened, discovering something that she doubted Tina wanted shared with them all just yet. She would announce it when she was perfectly ready and Santana knew that. Quinn and Brittany were oblivious to what was happening. Both Santana and Tina wondered if Kurt knew. Possibly, he did. Santana made a mental note to talk to Tina about this when they were alone.
If Santana knew anything about the KHHHB, it was that she was very much in it for the long haul and wouldn't rest until they were Queens of Everything. It was just what they all deserved. First stop, Noah Puckerman and his downfall.
