Chapter 9- The Revenge Interlude


"Hey, Hot Lips," Santana approached Sam almost serpentine in her gait. Sam swallowed heavily but smiled. He would by lying out of his ass if he didn't admit that this girl terrified the hell out of him. Perhaps even scarier, though, were the three that came next.

Quinn took his other side, angelic in her demeanour. Sam knew girls like her. The ones that smiled sweetly but then stabbed you lazily with their nail files simply because you looked at them in a funny way.

Brittany took Santana's side. The typical underestimation of the sweet girls let Sam know that Brittany Pierce was so much more than how she elected to appear at school. Her genuine smile could be replaced with a devilish glare if you even so much as said one bad word about her loved ones.

Tina, to Sam, was scary in a quiet, nonthreatening way. Much like Brittany, but darker. Tina's Goth attire added nothing to her fear factor, Sam was so into things like that, but she had a serene rage about her that Sam guessed could be extremely mortifying once she unleashed her full fury upon somebody.

Sam desperately hoped that he would stay on the good sides of all four of these girls.

"Girls," Sam nodded to each of them cordially. "What can I do for you today?"

Quinn flashed him a brilliant smile. "Here's the deal, Sam. You're dating Kurt now, which has made him rather happy. That's a point in your favour. You've defended him against the jocks-twice. That's two more points. You're not a complete dick. There's another point."

"Do you have one?" Sam asked. "A point, I mean."

Santana smirked. "He has a smart mouth. That will only go down well with Kurt."

"Even better when he goes down on Kurt," Tina added, garnering respect from all three girls. Sam just looked more bemused.

"If you're here to give me the protective best friend speech, you don't need to. Kurt is the only decent person I've met since I moved here. If you think I'm going to hurt him, then you're way off."

Brittany smiled warmly. "That's good to know. Because Quinn and Santana are scary, but they are nothing compared to me where Kurt is concerned." She turned stoic and her eyes glinted with danger.

"I'll look out for that the day I ever hurt Kurt," Sam smiled slowly.

Santana pushed a hair out of his eye. "Look, Ken, I know that you're talking good game about not hurting our best boy, but how can we be sure? Good intentions pave the road to hell don't you know?"

Sam squinted. "I do. Madge told me."

Tina nodded. "Yep, he's the boy for Kurt."

Quinn narrowed her eyes. "Kurt has an emergency Glee Club meeting the same time you have lunch plans. What do you do?"

Sam frowned. Because what? "If it's an emergency, it must be more important that our plans. Regardless, I would just ask Kurt what he wanted to do. I would trust his judgement."

Tina merely nodded before continuing. "Kurt takes you shopping for a new outfit for your birthday. He asks you to try on a pair of jeans that you don't really like. What do you do?"

Sam thought for a moment before replying. "Well, if I don't like them, I wouldn't want to wear them. I wouldn't let Kurt buy something for me that I don't like. I mean, his fashion sense is on point like all of the time, but our tastes are completely different. I wouldn't let him dictate my outfit choices." He braced himself, thinking that he had said something wrong.

Brittany smirked. Two points for Sam. One for acknowledging that Kurt is his equal and would pay for things too and the other for having a backbone. Kurt needs that. She posited her own question. "Kurt is a cheerleader now. You're a first string football player. Most people won't like the fact that the typical high school stereotype applies to two guys. What do you do at the football games with everybody watching?"

Sam smiled. "Oh, thanks for an easy one, Brittany. I've been thinking about this for a while. I've made it clear that I don't care who knows about us, so dedicating a touchdown to Kurt is cute but very cliché. Kurt is special, so after we win, I would run straight over to him and kiss him so passionately that even the homophobes start to think twice."

Santana decided to have some fun. "You're at Kurt's place, you're naked and sweaty. You're fooling around with Kurt and he says that he wants you to fuck him. You're both ready and it's happening. But you don't have a condom with you. But Kurt's looking so sexy all hot and bothered that you consider going bareback. What do you do?"

Sam put a hand. "I'm offended you even finished that scenario. Going bareback is not a safe or healthy thing to do even if you are in a committed, clean relationship. While I am very much enjoying the delightful images of my boyfriend naked, I have enough self-restraint that I would wait until protection was available to us. No offence, Quinn."

Quinn had not even thought about that until he brought it up. She was surprised he knew. "Oh, none taken. You've done very well. Most boys I know wouldn't even let Kurt go to the Glee Club meeting in the first scenario. Though if you're saying these things merely to pass the test, we will hunt you down and do things to you that will make having Wolverine give you a hand job seem like a million orgasms. Got it?"

Sam nodded. "Noted. I assume that Kurt will fill you in on my progress after our date tonight. If something goes wrong, I'll pencil you in tomorrow for a castration."

Santana laughed loudly. "Okay, Evans, you're safe…for now."

Brittany slapped Santana's arm lightly. "San, he's doing well! They like each other. No need to be so hostile. Sammy, make sure Kurt enjoys what you're doing for your date. It's his first date and I know for a fact that he's really nervous. He likes you, so it shouldn't be an issue, really."

Sam gaped. "He's nervous?! I'm taking Kurt Hummel out on a date! He's probably the classiest, sophisticated and interesting person I've ever met! I kinda played it safe this time around. I booked a table at a nice restaurant, Pierre's, and then I got us two tickets to see a showing of Into The Woods in Columbus."

Tina nodded. "That's not exactly playing it safe! Kurt's going to love it, Sam. I know he'll fill us in later, but good luck and everything."

Quinn placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You've got this, Sam."

As the girls walked away with each other, Sam truly believed that he did have it under control.


Finn knew exactly where to find the source of the latest drama within Glee Club and within the entire school. Contrary to what others thought, Finn Hudson was not stupid. Well, he wasn't particularly good at spelling and doing math and stuff, but he was clued up on social hierarchies (Rachel had taught him that word) and knew how people operated. And the way that Brittany, Kurt, Quinn, Santana and Tina were operating was not right for the school and something needed to be done about it. He knew that cornering Quinn or Santana about it would end in trouble. He wasn't that close with Brittany or Tina, well enough to accuse them of destroying the way that the school was supposed to work. So Kurt was his only option to try and sort this entire problem out.

Another factor was that Puck was heavily involved, or so it seemed. The rumour that Puck had gonorrhoea was obviously falsely spread by their little group, even Finn knew that much. And people though he was a dullard? Nonsense. He had enough common sense to know that the group needed to be stopped and that Kurt was the way to do it. Finn had heard that Kurt was dating Sam Evans and that made him feel weird. It meant that Kurt wouldn't be hanging all over him. He currently had no influence where Kurt Hummel was concerned. Kurt would no longer dote on him and answer his phone calls and use that breathy tone to greet him (which Finn did absolutely not love in any way). They would have to sort this out using words.

And Kurt would win.

As long as Finn got his point across, it would be okay.

"Kurt!" Finn called as Kurt was about to turn the corner.

"Finn. What would you like today?"

"I need to talk to you. It's about your little group that you've designed to bully Puck."

Kurt laughed. He actually laughed at Finn. He had never laughed at Finn before. "Bully Puck? Oh, please. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. I'm just trying to get Puck to stop bullying me. And everybody else for that matter. Why does this concern you in the slightest, Finn?"

"Puck is my friend. We're cool now. And you know Puck gets when his position is threatened. Last time it happened, he slept with my girlfriend."

Kurt sighed. What? "No, Finn. Puck slept with Quinn because he wanted something that you had for a change. He was sick of you being the golden boy. In football, you were the quarterback. You were being talked about for future Prom royalty. Puck was jealous. Maybe he loved Quinn, but I'm not so sure."

"How do you know all of this?" Finn wondered. Surely Puck would not have told him.

"It's fairly obvious to glean, Finn."

Finn pouted. Maybe he didn't know people as well as he thought he did. "Oh."

"Can you just stay out of this? This does not concern you in the slightest. If it did, you would know about it. I'm going to pretend like this conversation never happened."

"You need to shut this down, Kurt. Or Puck's going to make your life hell."

Kurt smiled sadly. "Hasn't he already?"

Finn thought about this before shaking his head. "Not compared to what he's capable of. And with…how you are, it could just get worse for you."

"How I am? Don't act like you're concerned for my wellbeing, by the way."

"You know…you don't really know when to back off," Finn elaborated. "And I am concerned about you. You're going get hurt."

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

"It's an observation. I know Puck and I know you. This is going to end very badly for you."

"Please. I can handle this, Finn. I'm not backing down."

Finn grunted. "Then I guess I'm just another obstacle."

"I guess you are," Kurt observed and walked away briskly, ready to fill everybody in on their newest opposition. Not like Finn would pose much of a threat. Once people had found out that he and Quinn actually hadn't slept with each other and he had been blindsided by his best friend who had nailed her instead, his reputation had sunk slightly. And the Gaga shower curtain fiasco had certainly not helped, either.

Taking out Finn would be easy. He would have to discuss it with the rest of his harem, but it would more than likely be a cakewalk.

Then on to the real challenge.


Mercedes skulked around the room, trying not to be noticed by anybody. She did not want to be seen willingly associating with Jacob Ben Israel, but he was necessary if she was to exact her revenge.

On Kurt.

Well, on the whole of that stupid group. Who the fuck did they think they were, excluding her from their events. Kurt wasn't even friends with them, except for maybe Tina. But apparently his friendship with Brittany outdated even the popularity of Lady Gaga. Mercedes didn't really believe that. Kurt was only her friend.

"JBI!"

Jacob turned around, seeing the brassy diva in his face. "Mercedes Jones. Don't cut me."

Mercedes scoffed. "Relax, white boy, I ain't gonna hurt one curl on your pretty little Jewish mane. I have information for you. Important gossip which will make your blog and your pamphlets' popularity rise sky high. You got a pen?"

Jacob scrambled to get his pencil from behind his ear and got his notepad ready.

Mercedes began to speak and Jacob drank in the news hungrily, scribbling fiercely on his paper. This would make for a killer news story.

"What do you want in exchange?" Jacob asked cautiously. He had learned to never accept tip offs in return for nothing. Everyone always wanted something from him, as much as they despised him.

Mercedes smirked. "Oh nothing. I'll already have the satisfaction soon. See you around, JBI."

Mercedes walked the front parking lot with the biggest smirk on her face and the thought of payback imminent in her mind.

Game. On.