Chapter 19- Schemes Of The Eleventh Hour
After Tina returned to Kurt's basement, glad to see that Sam was okay, she agreed too that they needed to strike back after this mishap. She had quickly filled them in on everything that happened with Artie. They were all glad that he was now definitely out of the picture and that she had been upfront with him once again. Mike and Kurt especially were proud of her development. A few months ago she wouldn't have even been able to address an issue with Artie. Kurt absently wondered if that was a reason she stayed with him as long as she did. He hadn't treated her correctly since the start. Kurt had noted things to her that unsettled him, but it wasn't exactly his place to tell her what to do. He could give counsel, but dictatorship really wasn't his style.
"So," Kurt began easily, "since this game has taken a dramatically serious turn with people being literally abducted, it's time we stepped this up a notch. Nasty little rumours and water balloons aren't going to cut it anymore. We need to make sure we undermine this dickhead and take everything he has. Any objections? Good, that was rhetorical."
Mike and Sam shared a look, but both nodded and turned back to Kurt.
"As strange as this may sound, we need to go full Regina George and cut off his resources. What are the things Noah Puckerman loves most?"
Santana smirked. "His dick."
Kurt nodded. "So we take that away. I mean, not literally, but we compromise him somehow. Plans will come later, for now we need to figure out exactly what we should be concentrating on."
Quinn hummed in agreement. "Finn."
Kurt nodded. "Makes sense."
Tina frowned. "Not to sound indecorous, but didn't we already take care of that last year?"
Quinn chuckled. "I see your point. Despite how dramatically I broke up their friendship last year, they've managed to recover their trust in each other. Somehow. Puck loves Finn more than he would ever be willing to admit. Finn, for whatever stupid reason, is the person Puck is always striving to be. He's always been somewhat of the Golden Boy, something that Puck resented before realising it was exactly what he wanted."
Brittany nodded. "That's when he started acting out and getting into trouble at school and at home. He thought that if he couldn't be Finn, he would try and attract attention a different way. And it worked."
"It's hard to believe that Puck was originally on his way to actually becoming something worth the oxygen expense," Mike smiled, shocked.
Kurt grinned at the sass. "Alas, here we are. So we have his virility, his supposed best friend, what else?"
"We put him in prison."
"Tina?"
Tina grimaced. "It's extreme, but let's think about this for a second. Puck has done many illegal things. He purchased drugs from Sandy Ryerson last year. He's defaced many public surfaces. Not to mention school rules which could easily get him expelled if we assemble the right case."
"With his track record, nobody would be willing to vouch for him at another school," Brittany posited. "This could work."
"So which is it? Prison or expulsion?" Sam asked innocently. "You know, he did literally just kidnap a person."
"Prison seems a little far. Not in terms of what he deserves, because that heathen deserves nothing less than being chopped at the knees, but in terms of what we can do. We talk a good game about our power, but outside of the scholastic circles, we can't really do much harm. I mean, Santana has control of Lima Heights Adjacent, but that'll only be necessary if we want him dead."
Sam frowned. "Which we…don't…right?"
"Too messy," Kurt poked his nose. "So we need to think of some other things. We'll take away sex, we'll take away Finn and what else does Puck care about more than anything?"
"Glee Club," Brittany posited. "But we can't take that away. Can we?"
"We can get him kicked out. I heard that Lauren Zizes was interested in joining."
"Yes, but that's because she's into Puck. If he goes, she won't join. Plus, can she even sing?"
"We don't need someone who can sing. If Mr. Schuester learned anything from us, we'll be the ones doing the singing."
"So we need to find a way to get Puck kicked off the club?"
"Even if we have to bring Jacob Ben Israel back, it's worth it. Then Puck will truly have nothing."
"What about football? Sam and Mike, what can you two do in that department?"
"Well, Beiste isn't a fan of him. He made some offensive joke in the locker room and Coach ripped the shit out of him. It was awesome."
"I don't think it'd take much to get him kicked off."
"Could you guys get a replacement?"
Mike had a thought. "Kurt, this might be a lot to ask of you…"
"No. Michael, no way."
"Not even if it means Puck being removed?"
"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Quinn smirked.
"That we can shuffle people around and have Kurt as the kicker again?"
Sam gaped. "Kurt…you were the kicker?"
"Hot, right? Just imagine those leg exercises." Santana grinned.
"Okay, not the point! I will not be rejoining the football team. Not at a time like this. They'll know I kicked off one of their best players and it won't be pretty for anyone."
"We can protect you."
"Three against all of them? It'd get you both beaten up."
"We can handle it."
"No, absolutely not. Final answer is no. Now, we have a plan. Take away Puck's supposed assets and break him down from the inside. We can plan something another time. For now, we need to think about what songs Tina should sing at Sectionals."
Tina preened. "It's about time, honestly. I want to do Barbra just to spite Rachel for what she said to me, but then I also want to do something completely unique that I've never seen in show choir before. I'll have to think about it."
The group spent the time discussing the set list until Burt decided seven people, including two other boys, was way too many people for Kurt's basement and kicked everybody out. Kurt had protested, but Burt was not budging.
"I want to speak to you for a sec, buddy," Burt announced as the door shut on Sam, Mike and Tina, who were riding together.
Santana scurried back to the basement, sending a father/son bonding session about to occur. She did not need nor want to be there for that particular event.
Kurt stood nonchalantly before the two moved into the kitchen. Kurt leaned against the breakfast island and looked at his dad expectantly. "If this is more slander, I really don't need to hear it."
"I'm sorry, Kurt."
Now those were two words Kurt hadn't expected to hear.
"I don't know that I'm hearing that correctly."
"Look, I hate that it took Santana saying it for me to hear it, but I've heard it now. You're an amazing kid, Kurt, and I'm sorry for all those years of missed performances and me not taking your side. You're the most important person in my life from now onwards things are gonna change. If you say that you're doing something that's important to you, I want to hear about it. And I want you to bring Sam over for dinner, he's clearly special to you and I wanna meet him properly."
Kurt grinned uncharacteristically. "I'll arrange it with him. Thanks, Dad."
Burt nodded shortly. "Now, I don't know what you kids are up to in there, but I expect it to be fully legal and enacted with clothes on and no drugs. You with me on that?"
Kurt gaped. "Dad. Everybody is clothed, and nobody is breaking any laws of any kind. That we know of, yet." He winked. "Just kidding."
Burt patted his head affectionately. "You really are a wonderful kid, Kurt."
"Oh Dad, I've known that for eighteen years now. I'm just glad you're finally catching up."
