Hello readers,
I apologize for the formatting issues. I kind of forgot how this site works. I may or may not go back and fix it later, but this will just have to do for now.

TLP


Don't Hurt My Pride Like Her

(The Beatles: If I Fell)

"Ugh, you're such a cheater!" Abigail threw her cards at her brother. He had won 4 times in a row.

"It's UNO! You can't cheat at UNO!" Levi argued.

"Apparently you can!"

Cath set her cards down and watched the two continue bickering as they headed downstairs to the kitchen. She wanted everyone to go to bed so Levi would finally tell her what the "surprise" was. Everytime she asked he'd just hush her and tell her they'd have to wait until they could get outside unnoticed. The anticipation made her stomach uneasy.

John sat up on his pillow across from her, "Abby's wrong; he always tries to go easier on his little sisters, even at bowling, and he loves to go bowling."

"Yeah, he took me bowling." Cath laughed.

"I heard," He smiled, lower lip under his teeth, "They said you need baby bumpers to hit a pin."
"Oh, how embarrassing." She frowned.

"That's alright, I'm not very good at it either."
"So you make up for it by singing karaoke?"
"Definitely." John laughed.
Cath was glad that she was getting to know him better. He was awkward and dorky, but she was too, so they got along really easily. Levi and John went together really well and she really liked how much they obviously loved each other. They were really comfortable with their friendship, and it made her feel good that they let her in. Wren had been in a relationship where her boyfriend wouldn't hang out with her and his "boys" at the same time, but it wasn't like that with them. If Levi was a golden retriever, then John was a St Bernard. Oversized and lovable.

"Where do you go to school?" Cath asked, sprawling out on the floor.

"SOU."

"What's that?"

"Southern Oregon University."

"You're studying theater right?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to become a big actor," He frowned, "But I'm too anxious around people to get a part in anything."

"A lot of actors have social anxiety," Cath said, "I think you'll be fine. Just don't quit trying, college costs too much to quit."

John's face lit up, "Thanks. You're not as scary as most girls."

"You're scared of girls?"

"Duh, they have cooties."

They giggled.
Abigail and Levi walked back in holding a pitcher of lemonade, cups, and cookies. They were singing One Fat Hen and got through the last verse without messing up. He ran his fingers through his hair, as they bowed down. She and John clapped for them.

"Jonathan, why is Jenga not set up?" Levi laughed and sat on Cath, "Idea!"

"God," She jumped, "What?"

"Okay, if you ever have boy twins you have to name them John and Nathan so their names make Jonathan. Just like you and Wren!"

"You're so weird." She tried pushing him off.

"You have to, it would be the cutest!" He laid across her.

"Well I hope if I ever have twin boys, their dad won't let me do that."

"I would let you do that." Levi winked.

"Good thing we're not having kids together then." It came out harsher than intended, and she regretted saying it immediately.

"Right," He cringed, "Come on, I'm gonna kick everyone's asses at Jenga, too."


Something was wrong. The night had gone from great to horrible the longer it dragged on. Levi's smiles were few and far between, he couldn't look at Cath without tensing up and he didn't call her Cather. It was hours before John went home and they were finally alone.

"Let's go for a walk." He took her hand, but kept some distance between them.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." Levi smiled at the ground.

"Wait," She leaned against the fence and took his other hand, "Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm never mad at you."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I don't know," He kissed her forehead, "Can we just keep walking?"

Levi started walking down the dusty road with his fists shoved in his pockets. Cath felt her stomach lurch as she watched him drag his feet on the dirt. He was at least 10 feet away, before he realized that she wasn't following him.

"Cath, come on."

She shook her head.

"Cath, I'm fine." His arms were around her before she realized he was back.

"I can tell that you're not."

He sighed, "why are you being so mean to me tonight?"

"I'm not being mean, I want to know what's wrong!" She said, defensively.

"Maybe not mean..." His eyes were watery, "no, not mean at all. I felt like you were being too flirty with John, and I was really hurt when you said we won't have kids."

"What? I'm sorry, I hadn't realized I was flirting with him. I really didn't have any intentions to."

"No, I just read it wrong." Levi looked up with big, glossy blue eyes. Cath realized that she had never seen him cry before and she felt a jolt in her heart.

"Levi, I'm really sorry; can you tell me what's going on right now? I don't think I'm understanding entirely."

"I try not to be jealous, but it's harder than I expected after what happened with Reagan." He pursed his lips and wiped his eyes with his t-shirt, "but I'm actually more upset about the baby thing."

Cath wasn't sure what to say next. She felt bad when she said it, but she hadn't realized it had hurt him so much.

"I didn't mean to hurt you by saying that, I wished that I didn't sound so harsh in the moment."

"But do you think that's true?"

She tossed her arms up from her sides a little, in frustration, "yes, I really didn't mean-"

"Cather," Levi lifted her onto the fence so they were face-to-face, "I know you weren't. What I'm asking is: do you really never want to have children with me?"

"Oh," she looked away, trying not to give away her worried expression, "I haven't given that much thought. I'm not ready for kids right now, but I'm not opposed to it. Like if I'm married and insured."

"Insured?" Levi laughed, "well, I'll have to keep that in mind. Have you really never thought of us having a family in the future?"

"I haven't put much thought into the future than I want mine to have you in it."

"Thank you for checking in with me," he looked up at her through his lashes. "I'm sorry for overreacting."

"Don't be," Cath kissed him between the eyes, "You're always so good to me, I think you're entitled to throw a little fit every once and awhile."

Levi's smile was back to normal now. He helped her down from the fence with a half twirl and pulled her by the hand down the gravelly road.

"Let's go for a walk."


"Surprise!"
It was like everything Cath could have ever asked for all in an 8x8 foot space. Levi filled his old treehouse with several shelves worth of books. There was a mattress pad like the one from her dorm in the corner with tons of pillows and a couple blankets. A lamp, a shelf with a CostCo sized box of Blueberry Bliss protein bars and juice boxes, functioning windows, and a pair of new pajama pants. It was even tall enough for Levi to stand straight in. She wished this was her dorm room.

"This is what I've been doing all week. It needed a lot of T.L.C. but I got it done," He smiled, "I didn't know what books to put in here so I brought as many from the hall closet as I could fit on the shelves."
"You did all of this?" She was in shock.
"Well, my dad made it when I was little, but I put up the shelves and gave it attention where it needed it. The bedding was a pain in the ass to get up here, though."

"How much did this cost?" Cath had her hands on top of her head.
"I have a job, it doesn't matter." Levi touched her lower back.

She spun around and pressed her lips to his. He wiggled excitedly, knocking the trapdoor closed with his foot. Her fingers were lost in his hair and he was trying to work her jeans off. They separated for a brief minute to strip down to their underwear before their mouths found each other again. Cath pulled him to the little nest of pillows in the corner. They kissed for a while, falling further into the cushions.
"So, you like it, then?" He smiled, moving to her throat.

"God, this is one of the cutest things anyone has ever done for me," She moaned as he gently bit at her neck.
"Good," Levi sat up and kissed her tummy, "Because this isn't even what I was excited to give you."
"What?"

He stood and walked over to one of the shelves, picking up a brown-paper-and-ribbon-wrapped gift box. Cath's mouth was ajar, how could she have missed that? Levi sat next to her and set the package on her lap; it was heavier than she expected. She took off the ribbon and tore off the paper, not taking her eyes off Levi.
"Look at it, not me, silly." He was smiling hard.

In her lap was a set of eight books, leather bound with gold-leafed pages, and golden font on the covers and spines. Cath choked. They were the special edition covers, there were only a limited number printed and they could only be purchased online. She was on the verge of tears, those books had cost way more than she could afford at the time they came out and they sold out on the first day.

"How did you get these?" Cath stared at them like they were gold plated as opposed to gold-leafed.

"I stayed up too late," Levi kissed her cheek, "Open the last book."

Her heart nearly stopped. On the front page of the eighth book there was writing in red ink. It read:

"Dear Cather Avery,

I was told that you are an aspiring author. While I get that a lot from fans, I wanted to say you, dear, must be truly an amazing writer.. I've had plenty of people, my editor included, talk to me about your Carry On, Simon. I don't read fanfiction of my stories, but I look forward to reading your short story in the Prairie Schooner this upcoming fall. Congratulations on your prestigious award.

Yours truly,

G. ."

Cath couldn't stop the tears from rushing down her cheek. This was impossible. It couldn't happen, it was too fairytale. Things like this don't happen in real life, this is a dream, she thought. She wiped her eyes with a throw pillow, but more were coming out than she could mop up. This isn't real, this isn't real, this is a dream, this isn't real...

"Sweetheart, don't cry. It's okay." His hand found hers.

This is Levi.
"How did you do this? This isn't real. It can't be real."
"I've been schmoozing my way through the internet for the past month and a half," Levi kissed her temple, " This was supposed to be your birthday present, but that woman is harder to contact than I thought."
"Don't make me laugh," She started hiccuping, "Jesus, I think I'm having an anxiety attack."

He laid her back on the pillows and draped a blanket over them. Their fingers were still interlocked while his other hand rubbed circles over her stomach. His mouth made its way to her ear to her throat to her collarbone, then to her cheeks, trying to kiss away the tears. Levi held her, humming songs, for a good 15 minutes before she was breathing steady again.
"I don't even understand what's happening right now." Cath's voice was dry and raspy from crying.

"It's okay, Sweetheart." He reached up for a juice box and handed it to her. She drank it like it was a cure-all.

"What?" She sniffed, "Seriously, Levi, I don't understand. You had to have written that, this can't be real."
"That better be real, I paid for shipping, like, 5 times." He laughed, holding her in his lap.
"This is really real. Like this is really-"
"It really is, Cather."
"That's so much money, though."
"Don't even think about money. It's just cotton and paper." Levi shrugged with a smirk on his face, "But I'm a pretty good saver, too."
"It's too much." She shook her head.

"Did it make you happy?"
"Euphoric."

"Then I think it was well spent," He buried his nose in her hair, "If you want to repay me though, you can read the whole series to me. I've only ever heard the eighth."
Cath reached over for one of the books and yawned. He laid her down again.
"Not tonight," Levi giggled, "You need to rest."

Their lips met sleepily. It was just like the first one. His kisses taking something from her, her hands in his hair, unable to open her eyes. And like the first time, she couldn't stay awake.