If I Kiss You Where It's Sore, Will You Feel Better?
(Regina Spektor: Better)
Cath woke up with tears already streaming down her cheeks, and sat up straight to wrap her arms around her leg while she cried.
Levi stirred for a moment, not opening his eyes, "Mmm... Cather?"
"I'm okay. I love you."
"I love you, too." Levi sat up groggily and looked at the time, "it's 3? Sweetie, are you okay?"
"I had a nightmare."
He pulled her into his lap, "What was it about?"
She was still half asleep and it would have been easy to fall back into unconsciousness in his arms, if he hadn't been the subject of her bad dream. The tears kept rolling.
"I had a dream that you slept with someone else." She huffed, not wanting to get into detail.
His thumb moved in circles on her shoulder, "You know I would never do that to you."
"I know, it just- it seemed so real." Cath shuddered.
"Tell me about it." He hummed, too tired to enunciate.
"You're exhausted. It's not important anyway, I didn't mean to wake you up."
"You can wake me up whenever you need me." Levi yawned, "Cath, it's important to me. Let me help you feel alright."
"Okay." She took a deep, shaky breath, "So, in my dream, I was trying to find you and I couldn't. It was like there were a hundred rooms in the house. It felt like I must have been lost for hours and I was so alone. Then I finally found the door to your bedroom and you were in bed with..." Her voice faded out.
After a too long pause, Levi kissed her forehead, "With who, sweetheart? You're safe with me, you can tell me. It won't make it real if you tell me."
She mumbled a name.
"Who, my love?"
"My sister," Cath choked.
He turned on the bedside lamp and wiped off her nose with the bedsheet, "With Wren?"
"Yes," She nodded her head and whimpered, "But then I ran away and ended up on campus somehow. Then I got a call from her- God, it felt so real in the moment, my heart is pounding right now. She told me over the phone it was just a matter of time because I'm so awkward and you never really wanted me anyways. That you were only with me because I looked like her and I was just good enough."
His eyebrows were drawn together and his lips were pursed, but he never took his eyes off of hers. She let herself get lost in them for a moment, taking in as much warmth as possible before continuing.
"I just felt so disgusted. Wren's always been the prettier one but-"
"No, she's not."
"Yes-" Cath tried to argue.
"No, Cather, she's not. You're both beautiful girls. Wren is just an extrovert, but I would never choose her over you. She's so abrasive and kind of crude." Levi actually sounded angry, and she hid her face in her chest so she couldn't see him, "But you; I had to work so hard to earn your attention. And it was so worth it. You're smart and you're so selfless and dedicated and sometimes unbearably modest. You're the introverted sister, but you are not the ugly sister."
She was sobbing now, "I don't want to lose you."
"Hush now with that, sweetheart," He whispered, "I'm not going anywhere."
"If we split up though, I think it might break me."
"You don't have to worry about that."
"Levi, look at my dad. I don't want to be like him." Her voice was small and forced, "I'm already part of the way there. I don't want to get worse."
"Cather, I love you. I think that's the difference between your parents and us; I know I love you. I know that, as of right now, if you left me I wouldn't know what to do with myself," Levi kissed her head, "I love you so much. Too much, probably."
"I'm so sorry, Levi," she choked on a sob.
"Sweetheart..." Levi said, "take a deep breath."
Cath couldn't make eye contact with him, but she couldn't let go of him either. She began to try to even out her breathing for a few minutes.
"Okay, I'm feeling better now."
He lifted her chin to face him, "let's get you into a nice warm bath and get you a little more comfortable, okay?
Cath nodded.
The next thing she knew Levi was trying to wake her up by rubbing her shoulders. The water was much cooler now, but she had been so comfortable.
"You shouldn't fall asleep in the tub, it's dangerous," He had a little smile on, "Let's get you out of here."
Cath stood up and yawned, letting Levi wrap a towel around her like she was a kid. Normally she would have been too proud to be treated so patronizingly, but she was too comfortable to argue. Besides, it didn't do anyone any harm to be babied every once and awhile.
"I'll get out of your way now." He paused, "those are for you.."
Levi gestured towards a plastic bag on the counter and stepped out of the bathroom. The contents of the bag made her flush with a blissful warmth. There was a flannel pajama set and a pair of cute, but obviously cheeky boyshorts, and a bottle of gummy melatonin. When she finished changing and stepped back into the bedroom Levi was sitting on the bed with his legs crossed and a new blanket on his lap.
"Are you even real?" Cath smiled.
"C'mere." He pulled her to the bed, "Better?"
"Much better." She hugged him, "Thank you so much, Levi."
"You're welcome, Sweetheart."
Levi lifted the covers and beckoned for her to climb under them. They snuggled up as close as they could get and laid there watching one another. Cath was happy. More than happy, really; she felt safe.
"Cather," Levi's two-weeks-overgrown beard tickled her, "I don't want you to go home tomorrow."
"I'm leaving on Sunday."
"It's technically Saturday."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't want to go home either." She kissed his nose.
He dropped his voice, "Stay with me."
"Levi, I can't overstay my welcome here and it's obvious that there's no place for me under your mom's roof."
"I was thinking about going to Lincoln early, actually."
She didn't say anything.
"Stay with me." He said again.
"I don't know, Levi." Cath frowned, "That's a lot to consider."
"It's not like I'm asking you to move in with me forever," Levi rationalized, "It'd be easier to get you moved into your dorm later."
"Levi..." She whispered.
"I'll take you home whenever you want," he kissed her, "We could even bring Baz."
Cath sighed.
"Cather, I don't want to be alone." Levi confessed, "I need you."
"Alright, I'll go with you." She agreed, "But I want to spend the week with my dad and sister. You should get your things together anyways."
"Thank you, Cather."
"I love you, silly boy."
"I love you, too."
They tried to stay up talking, kissing, and snuggling, but they couldn't fight it off. Cath wasn't sure why they were trying so hard anyway. It wasn't like it was their last night, and even if it was, they were going to see each other again the next week. Levi fell asleep before her. As she laid there looking over his soft, sleepy features, she thought about "moving in" with him. They would be there before anyone else; alone; unsupervised. Her stomach filled with butterflies. She had thought about it before, but now she knew there was no avoiding it. Although, unlike her evil dream twin seemed to believe, she was sure that she didn't want to avoid it anymore. When they moved in together it was going to happen. Cath was going to have sex with Levi.
Bloody hell.
