Heaven and Hell Decide That They Both are Satisfied
(Deathcab for Cutie: I'll Follow You Into The Dark)
The house always felt empty. Wren worked all night, slept all day. Their dad worked all day, then came home to work all night. It was like they forgot how upset they were about Cath leaving forever on Sunday. Well, not really forever, but she thought that they would try harder to spend time with her before she moved out because of the way they had acted before. She didn't give them too much grief though, they had jobs and she respected that. It was just lonely.
All the time alone gave her time to write, but for once Simon Snow wasn't helping. Ever since she was eight years old Simon and Baz helped her through her depression, boredom and other social casualties. As she was writing, the words poured out of her head onto her screen, but nothing seemed right. A paragraph would seem alright at first, but they consisted mostly of tangents and the plot of the fic was getting muddled. She didn't want to write fanfiction; she wanted Levi.
Cath tossed her laptop aside, buried her face in her pillow and let out a frustrated groan. He was the only thing she could think about; his mouth, his hair, his eyebrows, his hands, especially his hands. To be totally honest, she was thinking about all of him touching all of her. It was driving her insane. There was only 36 hours left until they'd head out to Lincoln and have all the time and freedom to do whatever they wanted. She wasn't sure she could wait any longer.
All of her things were packed up and she was too excited to sleep. It was like the night before she went to Disneyland when she was 10. A bit more... naughty, though. The comparison made her feel almost guilty, but it was another milestone in her life. They were the same butterflies in her stomach.
As her body began to relax and her eyelids grew heavy, she could hear knocking and the front door opening. Her heart nearly stopped. Wren was downstairs editing the fic Cath had given up on, but it was 11:30pm and no one should have been visiting. It could have been Jandro, but Wren would have said something before if he was coming over. She threw on a pair of slippers and grabbed Wren's softball bat, just in case.
Cath crept out of their bedroom as quietly as she could and peered down the stairs.
"Cath?!" Wren yelled up.
"Who's here?" She swallowed, taking a few steps down, "Oh my God!"
It was Levi.
He grinned and reached over to give her a big bear hug.
"Why are you here so late?" Cath asked, smiling almost as wide as he was.
"I just couldn't stop thinking about you, I couldn't wait anymore." He kissed her cheek, "I'm really filthy from the ranch, can we go take a shower?"
Levi stood in the middle of the bathroom, watching Cath strip his clothes off. She turned the shower on before looking up at his bright, blue eyes.
He smirked, sliding into the spray. Cath gave a little smile as she turned to the door.
"Stay with me."
Her pajamas were on the tile within seconds. Cath waited for him to move, but he never did. She reached over for the bar of soap and worked it between her hands. The bubbles ran down his body as she rubbed the lather into his shoulders. As she moved closer down to his waist, she kissed him trying to distract herself from erection growing in her soapy palms.
Levi let out a long, relieved breath. He brushed his fingers between her thighs, and pushed her up against the wall. She swallowed hard, reveling in the sensation of his thumb moving in gentle circles against her clit and the two fingers inside of her. Cath pushed his arms down as he attempted to lift her legs around his.
"Levi, please," She shook her head, "I can't do this standing up."
He looked to the floor, watching the water go down the drain, and looked back up through his eyelashes with a wide grin. Cath wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing them closer together so her breasts were brushing his warm, wet chest. Levi turned so he was leaning on the wall with his hands on her hips. He slid down the wall with her on his lap. The butterflies swarmed in her stomach again. Levi moved his hands up and down her back. Cath wiggled under his touch, making her nipples rub against him until they were swollen. He pulled away from her lips and kissed her neck.
"Mm, don't stop," Cath moaned.
"Are you sure?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Just," she sighed, "be gentle..."
Levi nodded and adjusted himself to enter her. He pressed into her slowly, but only a little bit, watching her face carefully. She took a deep breath and pulled his face to hers again, and braced herself. He rolled his hips against hers gently, letting the length of him fill her. She moaned, grinding back and forth while he continued thrusting underneath her. Levi moved his hand between them using his thumb for her to grind against.
As Cath's breath grew quicker, so did their pace. The tingling sensation grew into an electric shock and she couldn't hold on any longer. She let go, allowing the feeling spread out through her body. She had expected it to hurt, but she felt euphoric.
Then Wren knocked on the door and Cath sat up.
"Hey sorry, but uh, Levi's downstairs. He doesn't look so good." Wren said, poking her head through the door.
It was a quarter past 2am. Cath had been asleep for over four hours. She had gotten a text from Levi just before she fell asleep that she hadn't checked.
"What? Alright, I'll be down in just a sec."
Levi was sitting on the couch with his head hanging almost between his knees and his hands were cupped over both ears.
"Levi, what's going on?" Cath kneeled in front of him.
When he looked up at her, he lost it. Tears poured down his cheeks and his breath was shaky. They waited in silence for him to compose himself a bit more, at least enough to talk. They were scared of what he had to say. Not of Levi of course, but the fact that he had a terrified look on his face.
He didn't speak though, just held out his arms ever so slightly and pulled in Cath hard against him. She froze, then decided it better to snuggle into his chest.
"Levi, what's going on?" She asked again.
He shook his head.
"Are you drunk right now?"
Another head shake.
After several more questions and nonverbal answers, things weren't getting very far.
"C'mon," Cath took his hand and pulled him towards the stairs, "I'm going to get him into the bath."
Wren just nodded.
This time around, for Cath at least, things weren't as hot and heavy. He stripped down and got into the tub, submerging himself first, then sitting up with knees to his chest. She sat on the edge, trying not to get wet.
"Darling, what happened?" She kissed the top of his head.
"My grandma..." Levi mumbled.
"Do they not know when she's coming out of it? Is it a coma?" Cath took his hand into hers.
"She's dead, Cath." He choked out, covering his eyes with his free hand, but not letting go of hers.
"What?" She tried to move his hand away from his face, "what happened?"
Levi took a deep breath, and he had his country-folk drawl when he spoke, "Well, when she woke up she was really... disoriented, I guess? She tore off her breathing tubes from her nose and fell when she got out of the bed."
He started crying too hard to speak.
"Take your time," Cath dabbed at his eyes with a washcloth.
"You're crying too," He let out a dry, one-syllable laugh and wiped away the tears on her cheek with his wet hand. "She must've woken up right after Shiloh and I went to grab food at the cafeteria. She had to be so scared on her own." Levi had to catch his breath, "When the nurse heard the commotion, she went running in. Grandma was already so weak, her little heart couldn't take it."
Cath watched Levi break down, not knowing what to do other than pull him close into her chest, letting her shirt get soaked. She kissed his temple and ran her fingers through his hair until he was ready again.
"I don't think I've ever told you how much I love your boobs before, but I do. They're great," Levi gave a weak smile as they readjusted into a better cuddling position.
"God, this is so not the time," She rolled her eyes, but she was grateful to see him with even just a little smile.
He played with her hand, squeezing and kissing it as he continued again, "we didn't know what was happening, but it sounded so loud in her room when we came back. We walked in, saw them getting ready to use the paddles, you know, the shocking ones."
"You saw that?"
"Yeah, Shiloh and I just froze in the hall outside the door while a nurse tried to do damage control with us. They couldn't get her heart to start again."
Cath could feel his pulse was faster than normal.
"If we had stayed in the room, if one of us stayed in the room, she would still be here." Levi began to sob again.
"Levi, it's not your fault. There was no way to have known."
"If I was there I could have told her that everything was gonna be okay and she wouldn't have had that heart attack. She died because she was scared and her body didn't work and she didn't know why, because no one was there to tell her she had a stroke and things might be different now. If I had stayed behind, I could've at least said goodbye."
"You don't know that being there would have changed what happened. This isn't your fault."
Levi didn't have anything to say.
"Alright," Cath stood up and grabbed a towel for him. "Stay in here, I'm gonna grab us some pajamas."
She dug through a drawer until she found an old pair of her dad's sweatpants that she and Wren had hijacked. When she returned to the bathroom, Levi was leaning against the counter with his towel draped around his hips. He looked completely defeated.
Cath sighed and took out her comb and hair dryer. She sat him on the toilet and ran the comb through his hair, drying it off in sections. His eyes looked droopy and his shoulders seemed to be less tense; it was working. Whenever Cath was getting her hair done, which wasn't all that often, she'd always loved the way it felt to be brushed by someone else. She didn't know why, but it was soothing and it always had been. Levi was practically purring.
When she finished, Levi stood up and put the pants on, following her obediently into the bedroom. Cath made sure he was comfortable before flipping the switch and heading towards the door.
"Wait," Levi sat up against the headboard, "Will you stay with me?"
"Of course." She said, coming back to crawl under the covers and cuddling up with him.
Cath assumed he was asleep ten minutes later, but as she sat up she could feel him kissing her thigh up to her belly. She curled up with him again, kissing him, biting him, distracting him.
"Cather," he sniffled, "is any of this real?"
She was a little taken aback, "I think so."
"I feel like this can't be real, because if it is then my grandma is really gone and I didn't save her."
"Levi-"
"I'm being serious, Cather."
"I know," she kissed his nose, "but you need to get some sleep. You have to."
"I love you so much."
"I love you too, Levi." Cath ran her fingers through his fluffy, blonde hair until he was definitely asleep. She reached around until she found her phone.
There was one unread text message from Levi Stewart;
Cather, i really need you now. im coming over.
