Okay, readers. I bring to you the sixth chapter of this story.
Now I don't have much to say here, other than the fact that I'm really forward to the following chapters beginning with chapter 8.
Another thing, this chapter might be based on the season 7 episode 'The Young and the Restless' in which Klinger acts like he's back in Toledo as a new way of getting a Section 8. Some references to that episode will be included, but not everything is going to be shown here.
With that being said, how will this all go? Read and find out now!
AT THE M*A*S*H 4077 - 16:04
Several weeks had passed since Andrew joined the outfit, and he couldn't have had it any different. He was rather fortunate that he was sent to this M*A*S*H unit rather than one that was closer to the front. Even though there were still some problems with the unit, Andrew really started to feel like he was at home. One could consider this his home away from home if that makes any sense. They've been getting more wounded in the unit lately, but he wasn't gripping. It was just more of an excuse to spend time with the head nurse.
Speaking of which, these days, Andrew was trying to make an effort in spending more time with the others. He still spent time alone on occasions, but he was trying to move out of his shell. It wasn't much, but it was definitely something.
Just recently, a captain who goes by the name of Captain Simmons came to the 4077 to give lectures on new surgical techniques. Around the same time, Colonel Potter was starting to suffer from Phlebitis, which wasn't helped by his old age, and the fact that Captain Simmons was rather young-looking, giving him the chance to take part in surgery when Colonel Potter wasn't in good shape.
Aside from that, there was Charles; whose ego was deflated the moment Captain Simmons displayed excellent surgery techniques. It seems that Charles had met his match here if he hadn't already when Andrew came into the uniform. Andrew was kinda disgusted with Winchester when he let his ego try to chew out the captain. He remembered shaking his head and informing him of something.
"Oh don't listen to him, captain," Andrew told him. "Winchester is just upset about his ego being deflated."
"Is that so?" Captain Simmons gave him a puzzled look.
"Yeah, he acted the same way towards me when I first got into the outfit," Andrew answered. "He didn't take it well."
"That's right," Hawkeye had spoken up. "Charles is just upset because he has to share his ego with another person that is very young."
"I see."
"And don't sweat it. I think you're doing a good job," Andrew had said modestly. "In fact, I think you are better at this than I am."
"Now don't push yourself down, major," Captain Simmons commented. "I think you're doing a fine job yourself."
"Captain Simmons, Major Andrew is only being modest," Margaret spoke up on Andrew's behalf. "He is an excellent surgeon and he remains calm during the surgery."
"Well I'm flattered by that complimented Margaret," Andrew said. "Thank you."
Margaret smiled behind the mask as they continued working.
As much as he was fond of that moment, Andrew wasn't thinking about that instant. Instead, his mind was on something entirely different. One Maxwell Q. Klinger. He hadn't been acting like himself today. For starters, he had mentioning places like Adolph's Sporting Goods, Ernie's Pizza Inferno, and Commodore Perry Hotel which if he could think carefully were places found in Toledo, Ohio.
And another thing, when it came to getting the wounded into OR, Klinger had been saying some bizarre things. One of them rang through the top of his head.
"Boy, they should get a stop sign for this corner," Klinger exclaimed. "It's the most dangerous intersection in Ohio."
This resulted in Andrew giving him the most bizarre look, as he was checking out one of the wounded. But it was what Klinger said to Colonel Potter earlier that got him bewildered.
"Officer, I saw the whole thing," Klinger said as he approached Colonel Potter. "I was bringing my laundry into Larry's French Cleaners."
"Move it, Mr. 9-to-5, or I'll arrest you for loitering," Potter hollered.
"A little courtesy, Officer," Klinger said. "Your salary comes out of my pocket."
"Move it! I got your badge number!" Potter barked at him to get a move on.
And it didn't stop there. He even acted like that when he has given Hawkeye an x-ray photo of one of the patients as it was requested. Andrew started to piece together the fact that this was another Section 8 caper. He was just surprised that he tried out something different this time rather than the old dress masquerade methods. Still, it was a bit absurd to witness.
Currently, Andrew decided to visit the Officer's Club, seeing that he hasn't done anything in there yet. As soon as he entered, he approached the counter and sat down in front. He got the attention of the one running this joint; Igor by pounding his hand onto the counter.
"Oh, welcome to the Officer's Club," he greeted. "What will it be? An alcoholic beverage on the house?"
"Uh no thanks sir," Andrew shook his head. "If it's not any trouble, I'd just like a Coca-Cola, in the bottle."
"Well, the closest thing we have to that is some Soda Pop," Igor proclaimed.
"That'll have to do," he nodded as Igor got out a glass bottle of soda pop just for the major. Andrew put some change onto the counter in return. "Thank you."
"Anytime."
Andrew pried the cap off the bottle and started drinking from it. He saw a couple of people here, but none of them were too important to him. Eventually, his sight took notice of Radar, who was sitting at the far left end of the counter, alone. Deciding to join him, Andrew got his attention.
"Hey Radar," he said. "Do you come here often?"
"Well, sort of sir," the company clerk said.
"Mind if I sit here for a bit?"
"Oh, no problem at all sir," Radar didn't object to it. "Please go right ahead."
Andrew took a seat next to Radar and noticed how he was thinking to himself. Then something else had entered the major's mind; how was Colonel Potter doing? Was he getting some bed rest? Feeling obligated, Andrew decided to bring it up.
"So anyway Radar," he started. "How's the colonel doing?"
"Oh, oh he's doing just fine, I guess," he explained. "I found him sitting in his office, reading a book. I told him that he should get to bed for some rest, and I escorted him back to his tent."
"Well it's good to see that he's doing fine," Andrew smiled. "I think he can get around and move by tomorrow."
"Me too, sir," Radar agreed with him.
Just then, the door opened, and in stepped Corporal Klinger, as he approached the walkway to the other side of the counter.
"Excuse me, sirs," Klinger started. "Is this where I can find Tin Can Toledo?"
Andrew and Radar looked very shocked by that question. As if all the other comments he made already weren't bizarre, now there was this? They knew that something was up.
"Tin Can Toledo? Klinger, what are you talking about," Andrew raised his eyebrow.
"I have to work here during the late-night shift," Klinger stepped behind the counter. "After all, it's a very busy day in paradise in a place like Toledo."
Andrew sighed as he pinched his nose. "Klinger, did anyone tell you that this isn't Toledo?"
"Not that I'm aware of," Klinger shrugged. "I must've been out in the sun for too long."
"And I'm pretty sure that you believe it's the same Toledo you've always lived in," Andrew rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Seriously Klinger? This is another Section 8 plan you're talking about, huh?"
"Who said I'm talking Section 8? I'm talking serving drinks on the house!" Klinger proclaimed loudly, getting Andrew to facepalm and shake his head.
"Oh don't feel bad sir," Radar assured him. "It likely is a Section 8 scheme."
"Yeah. Definitely," Andrew agreed with him as nothing else was said.
Just then, the door slammed opened again. This time, it was Charles Winchester, who was clearly in no mood to talk to anyone. Klinger was the first to notice Charles enter the Officer's Club, as he gave him a proper greeting.
"Hello, mister! Welcome to Tin Can Toledo, where we serve the best beverages in all of Toledo," the corporal greeted.
"Can it Klinger," he grumbled. "I'm in no mood for any of your shenanigans."
Winchester took a seat at the counter, a couple of seats away from Radar and Andrew.
"Uh Winchester, what are you doing here?" Andrew asked him.
"I don't see how any of this is your business. In any case, I'm not up to talking with you," Winchester growled before turning to Igor. "Igor, I want you to give me 4 large cups of the strongest alcohol you have in Korea!"
This got everyone who was nearby to gasp and look at him as if he was flipping out. Igor was shocked to see that someone who thinks so highly of himself such as Winchester would plan on getting himself drunk. But he was the bartender, and he only gives out the orders as given.
Andrew and Radar were pretty concerned about this behavior. Charles hardly if ever drinks alcohol, unless it befits him or otherwise. To see him want four large cups of the strongest alcohol here was absolutely insane; even more so than Klinger's latest Section 8 caper.
Andrew Peterson looked at Radar for a second before looking at the other major before him. "Uh Winchester, are you crazy!? 4 large cups of alcohol? You'll be getting yourself drunk that way!"
"Exactly ahem...my intentions," Winchester huffed. "Now I would like to drink without any interferences."
"Oh sir, this isn't like you," Radar shook his head. "Usually when you have a problem, you go talking to someone about it."
"Don't even bother giving me those lectures Radar," Winchester spat. "I've been feeling myself go to waste after that despicable Captain Simmons came to this M*A*S*H unit!"
Andrew shook his head and let out an agitated sigh. "Oh, so that's what this is about huh?! You are so upset about your ego being deflated by a visitor who does surgery at an adequate level as you that you are willing to drown in your own sorrows over it!? You never did this when I first came here! So why start now?!"
"Please leave me to my misery Major. I don't want to hear your words of wisdom," Winchester retorted. "WAITER! GET ME THOSE FOUR CUPS RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!"
"Be patient, mister," Klinger claimed. "Business can only go so fast here at Tin Can Toledo."
Winchester shot him a glare when Igor gave him four large cups of strong alcohol. Winchester gave him a couple of cents.
"Keep the change. I won't be needing it," with that, Winchester wasted no time in consuming the four large cups of alcohol.
Andrew and Radar exchanged looks in worry. Seeing that there was no way of changing Winchester's mind, and the fact that they don't want to start any fights here, especially with how the major's been feeling, the two of them decided to take their leave, leaving their drinks behind. Klinger saw them walk out the door and hollered out to them.
"It was nice doing business with you two! Come back to Tin Can Toledo sometime soon!"
With that, Andrew and Radar were strolling around the compound. It was considered nighttime, but it was still a bit early to get to bed.
"Honestly Radar, I don't know what's worse," the major said. "The fact that Klinger thinks this is Toledo or the fact that Winchester is getting himself drunk on purpose."
"Geez, I don't know either sir," Radar could only shake his head.
"Anyway, it's still kinda early before I have to hit the sack," Andrew proclaimed. "What do you want to do, Radar?"
"Oh, I don't know about you, but I should probably take care of those forms while the Colonel is in his tent," Radar said. "Uh, what do you want to do?"
"I don't know," Andrew shrugged. "You can go and take care of those forms. I'll figure something out."
"Well...alright sir," Radar accepted that as an answer. "I'll see you later then."
"Sure," said the major. "See ya."
And with that, Radar left for the office while Andrew stood there, thinking of what he could be doing at this moment. He certainly did not want to go back to the Officer's Club since Winchester was getting himself drunk, and he didn't want to get caught in the crossfire. Not to mention the fact that Klinger was saying that it's the Tin Can Toledo, which they aren't even close to.
Ah yes, Klinger. Besides the fact that he's been pulling another stunt, Andrew couldn't help but grow somewhat curious about Toledo. He only heard of it in certain newspapers. Whatever the reason, it was clear that Klinger knew everything there is to know about it. Perhaps he could find out more about it from the corporal. Even though he was being nuts and they seemed like opposites, Andrew still considered the guy his friend. It was only fair.
At least, that's how he felt about it.
Suddenly, he saw someone come out of the women's latrine. It was Margaret. It looked like she didn't have anything to do. Perhaps he could see if she could hang out. It was worth a shot.
"Hey Margaret," that caught her attention as he decided to walk over.
"Oh, hey Andrew," she wasn't expecting to see him out here. "Uh, what are you doing out here?"
"Well, I've got nothing to do, and it's still kinda early," he fished for something to say. "So I was wondering if you would like to hang out for a bit?"
Margaret wasn't surprised by this, considering how often they've been hanging out lately. Still, she never stopped enjoying it, and she didn't have anything to do at the moment. So what would the harm be in that?
"Sure Andrew," she said. "Would you like to stop for a drink at the Officer's Club?"
"Uh, sorry Margaret. Let's not stop at the Officer's Club." Andrew shook his head.
"Why not," she was confused by this.
"Well, let's just say that Klinger thinks it a place called Tin Can Toledo," Andrew didn't bother to tell her about Winchester. Otherwise, she would have knocked some sense into him, and it would get ugly really fast.
"Oh that Klinger," she groaned. "And I bet this is his latest Section 8 attempt."
"You know, Radar just got done telling me that too," Andrew commented. "He keeps coming up with ways to get out of the army."
"That clown, can't he ever give up with trying to get the colonel to discharge him?" Margaret wondered.
"I guess not. I mean he is pretty persistent," Andrew told her. "And yet at the same time, I find some of them to be rather amusing."
"Yeah. I guess some of them are kinda funny," she had to admit. "So where should we go then? My tent?"
"Only if you're alright with it," he brought up.
"It's fine by me," she shrugged her shoulders while smiling.
"Okay. Your tent it is. After you."
With that said and done, the two of them headed for Margaret's tent, as Andrew didn't plan on going back to the Swamp anytime soon. At least, not until Charles was out cold. By then, Andrew would feel that it'd be safe to get back to the tent that he's staying in...
THE NEXT MORNING; AT THE SWAMP - 5:00
It was very early in the morning in Korea, and at the Swamp, everyone was getting some sleep, including Charles, who felt his head throbbing badly, which came with the effect of having a hangover. BJ and Hawkeye were displeased to see him come back into the tent all drunk last night, as it was something they never expected. As for Andrew, he knew that he was drunk, and he decided to avoid him if only to prevent a conflict from happening.
Things were pretty quiet in the Swamp until suddenly, a loud woman's voice was heard in the tent across from the Swamp.
"OUT! GET OUT KLINGER!" That voice belonged to Margaret, who just kicked Klinger out of her tent. Klinger was in a business suit, hat and he had a suitcase.
The shouting didn't sit well with Winchester at all. "Oooooh...can someone tell Ms. Attila the Hun to quit shouting so early in the morning?"
They knew who he was referring to, but before anyone could say anything, Klinger slammed the door open to the Swamp and made his greeting.
"Good morning gentlemen!" He hollered.
"Klinger...not so loud..." Winchester whined, rubbing his temple.
"Don't mind him, Klinger," BJ told him. "He had a rough night."
"Let's just say that he has a strong case of the hangover," Hawkeye added.
"Well, I'm wondering if the man of the house is here," Klinger wondered.
"That depends. Who are you looking for?" BJ asked.
"I'm looking for a Mr. Andrew Peterson," he declared. "I've been given some citation that I could find him here."
"Yes, what do you want Klinger?" Andrew turned around to face him.
"Sir, have I got a special deal for you," he approached him with that suitcase.
"What do you have? Some cigarettes that came straight from Toledo?" Andrew retorted sarcastically.
"Close, but no cigar," Klinger declined as he showed him a tile from his suitcase. "Behold! The latest addition of Aluminum siding! And it can be yours once I tile it onto the floor!"
Andrew gave Klinger a blank look. "Deep pile carpeting? Seriously Klinger? You came in here to offer me that?"
"You bet! And that's not all," Klinger exclaimed. "The entire area of your sleeping grounds can be covered with these carpet piles, absolutely free with no obligation to you or the missus! All of it is courtesy of the Toledo Siding Company! And the best part, it's laminated on there free of charge."
Andrew didn't know what to think. It was too early for this nonsense right now. He sat up and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Klinger, even if I was alright with this, my bunkmates might not be alright with it," Andrew grumbled. "In any case, I'm afraid the answer is no."
"You sure about that," Klinger wondered. "Because here in Toledo, it's all..."
"Now look, I'm going to tell you this," Andrew got to the point. "This isn't Toledo. It doesn't look anything like Toledo. Even though I've never seen it, I know it wouldn't look like this."
"Ah, a rather irate customer. I understand," Klinger didn't even pay attention to what Andrew said. "I can re-ask the missus across the street if she can vouch for you."
"Missus? Klinger what are you talking about," BJ queried in confusion.
"I'm talking about the nice-looking girl who I visited previously," Klinger grinned. "That blonde is quite a keeper Mr. Peterson, and I'm sure you'd want to have your home tiled with your housewife."
Andrew was about to rebuke that statement, but Hawkeye became so interested that he jumped into the conversation.
"What? Oh, Andrew, you sly devil you," Hawkeye smirked. "You never told me you popped the question with Ms. Houlihan. Where did you do it? In her tent? Or was it when the two of you were cuddling in her bed while playing hanky panky?"
Now Andrew was growing red in the cheeks from being flustered. The last thing he wants to deal with this early in the morning is to have Hawkeye keep teasing him about that.
"WHAT!?" He let out a harsh scream in humiliation at what Hawkeye was implying.
"Gentlemen? In case you've forgotten, I have a headache," Winchester groaned at the loud noise.
"That's the hangover for you," BJ stated.
"Sir, are you sure that you and Ms. Houlihan won't reconsider," Klinger queried.
"Get out Klinger," Andrew growled, pointing towards the door while standing up.
"But sir, I-"
"OUT! OUT KLINGER! OUT!" He screamed, making sure Klinger bolted right out that door.
As Winchester was groaning again, Hawkeye couldn't help but snicker at what just happened, and what Klinger just said, as Andrew stormed back to his bed.
"Well Andrew, I didn't know how much you like Marg..." Hawkeye tried to say, but Andrew cut him off.
"Will you shut up about that, Pierce?!" Andrew howled in irritation.
"Oh...will the pain ever go away...?" Winchester whined as if he was on the verge of dying.
"You know what? That does it," BJ got out of bed. "Hawkeye, help me take whining Winchester here to the shower tent for a cold shower. And then we can take him to the mess tent. We'll get him some black coffee just so he can sober up, so we won't have to deal with him complaining."
"Yeah," Hawkeye agreed. "Maybe we should give him an ice pack for his head, and a little blanky too. That ought to help."
"Gentlemen, I don't need your help," Winchester denied. "All I want is some silence."
"Not if we have something to say about it," BJ told him. "Come on. Time to get up."
With that, Hawkeye and BJ hoisted him up onto his feet and escorted him out of the tent where they would go to the mess tent shortly afterwards.
Andrew started to realize that he just screamed like that. He didn't mean anything to Klinger. It's just that with how Hawkeye was teasing him again, especially when it was so very early, he just couldn't keep it in any longer.
The major decided to calm down for a few minutes, before heading off to the mess tent to join the others. Maybe being outside of the Swamp for a bit will put him in a better mood, after what just happened...
LATER ON - IN THE MESS TENT:
After Hawkeye and BJ gave Winchester a dip in the cold shower, they had him dry himself off, and then they wrapped a green blanket over his shoulders, and an ice pack was placed on his head. From there, they went to the mess tent where they were getting Winchester to drink some black coffee, as Andrew accompanied them to observe how this will go. Needless to say, Winchester was not taking it like a man.
"Come on, Charles, one more sip," Hawkeye tried to encourage Charles. "This time in your mouth."
"Here we go, here we go," BJ had to force him to swallow the coffee down since he wasn't corporating. "There. Very good."
"It's too late for coffee," Charles spoke in such a tone that reeked of despair. "Just a cigarette and a firing squad, please."
"Well Winchester," Andrew shook his head. "Are you proud of yourself? This could've been avoided if you just talked it out."
"Yeah, just try to encourage him, why don't you," Hawkeye snorted.
All Andrew could do is pinch his nose once again. This was unreal. But regardless, he had to get things back into order.
"Look, Winchester, I know we didn't get off the same foot when I first got here," Andrew tried to reason with him. "But I can't stand seeing you act like a miserable sad sack! Please just let us help you get better."
"No, it's too late for me major," Winchester was not doing well. "You might as well go on without me guys."
"You know what? We're never gonna get it down him this way." Hawkeye gripped.
"We'll have to dump him in the urn." BJ made a suggestion.
"What a good idea," Winchester sounded pleased with that. "I can drown in there."
Andrew grunted at this. "No one is going to drown anybody! All we got to do is get you sobered up Winchester. And then we can figure out a resolution to the situation at hand!"
"You're darn right we do," Winchester barked bitterly. "I hate that Simmons..."
"We know you do Charles," Hawkeye said to him.
"Look, can we just get right to getting him sobered up," Andrew suggested. "Charles is such a pathetic mess. And it's very pitiful too."
"Hey...guys?" A voice was heard from behind Andrew Peterson. Margaret Houlihan trailed off into asking a question when she saw how bad Charles looked.
"Oh no..." Charles groaned. "It's Ms. Attila the Hun..."
"Oh, hey Margaret," Andrew greeted her, some relief entering his voice as he ignored Charles' comment.
"Hey Andrew," she said slowly before turning back to Charles again. "Uhhh, is that Charles?"
"It was," Charles grumbled.
"What happened with him?" Margaret queried.
"Let's just say that he had a bit too many drinks for his own good last night," Andrew answered the head nurse who was sitting right next to him. "He decided to drown his sorrows all because Captain Simmons deflated his ego."
"Yeah," Hawkeye agreed with Andrew. "Nothing personal, Margaret. He's really glad to see you."
"Yeah," Charles moaned. "All six of me..."
"Charles, it's okay that you're not the smartest kid in class anymore." BJ tried to reassure him, to no avail.
"Simmons. Simmons. Simmons," Charles said bitterly. "What a rotten name for a doctor..."
Andrew had to give him a rather blank look. "Winchester? You do realize that Captain Simmons isn't in this unit anymore, right? He's back at the 8063. His time here was only temporary, a sharp contrast with me in which my stay is absolutely permanent. You need to get over this."
"Andrew is right," Margaret agreed. "You look like a pathetic mess Winchester. It's absolutely ridiculous that you have to act like this."
"Don't try coddling him, you two," Hawkeye told them. "He's not willing to listen to reason."
"He refuses to listen to us as it is," BJ said.
Andrew and Margaret exchanged looks at this. By the looks of it, Winchester was not willing to let go of his pride and accept the fact that he made a mistake by getting himself drunk. It was something to shake their heads towards.
Just then, this was interrupted by another person who walked over to the table. This time it was Radar, and he had some news to share with them.
"Uh, can I talk to all you sirs, for a minute?" He asked the crew.
"Another kid," Winchester growled. "Get away boy. You bother me."
"Don't mind him, Radar," Andrew assured him. "He's just suffering from a hangover."
"Yeah, I figured that much," Radar remarked, recalling what he did to himself last night.
"Now, what did you want to tell us?" Andrew gave him his full attention, as did Hawkeye, BJ, and Margaret.
"Listen, I'm really worried about Colonel Potter," Radar got to the point. "He won't get up."
"Wait, he won't get up," BJ had to make sure if what he said was correct. "Why not?"
"Well, he says his leg still hurts, but that's not it." Radar told them.
"Then what is it, Doc?" Winchester grumbled impatiently.
"If you could be patient Winchester, he'll tell us. So keep your head on," Andrew scolded him. "Anyway Radar, what is wrong with him?"
"Well, I don't know. He's just not himself, you know," Radar continued as if he was never interrupted. "He's acting like a gloomy Gus, and he won't move around or talk or nothing. And when I say to get up, he says, 'What's the diff? Captain Simmons can do all my stuff anyway'."
"Ahh, that name! Boy, this Simmons-itis is some disease," Hawkeye expressed himself. "It makes an invalid out of one guy and a drunk out of the other. Next, I suppose it'll make a jealous guy out of Andrew."
"Excuse me," Andrew looked at the captain with an offended expression. "What's that suppose to mean Pierce?"
"Oh come on," Hawkeye didn't beat around the bush. "Captain Simmons could make you jealous."
"Jealous? Of what?" Andrew raised an eyebrow.
"Don't act like you don't know Andrew," Hawkeye got to the point. "You're jealous that he could take you-know-who from you."
This instantly got Andrew flared up again. Why did he have to keep bringing that up? Did he get some kick at seeing him flip out or something?
"For goodness sake Pierce! Can you stop bringing that up," he shouted. "I don't want to talk about it! Why do you keep bringing it up anyway?!"
"Just wanted to inform you," Pierce didn't seem ashamed by that. "For all we know, Captain Simmons could try to keep Margaret for himself."
Just hearing her name caused the head nurse to get into the discussion. "What does this have to do with me?"
"Don't act all innocent Margaret," the captain turned his attention to the head nurse. "I heard something about how you have a thing for Captain Simmons."
Now it was Margaret's turn to get flared up. Here Pierce was making accusations and she did not appreciate it.
"I do not have feelings for Simmons," she defended. "He's nice, but there's nothing between me and him! Besides, you know that I've been single since I've divorced Donald!"
"Are you sure you're single, Margaret?" Hawkeye queried with a sly grin. "Because I've seen you and Andrew give each other ogling eyes every so often, not to mention how often you two hang out together."
Both Andrew and Margaret found themselves getting red in the face at that. All it was doing was proving his point. Feeling that tension was starting to spark up a bit, Radar decided to intervene while getting them back on topic.
"Uh guys, back to Colonel Potter," he reminded them. "One of us should go cheer him up."
Thankfully, this got the growing tension to simmer down as BJ spoke up. "How about Charles?"
"Uhhhh..." Charles grimaced, not in the mood for it.
"No offense BJ, but I don't think Charles is in the mood to do anything at the moment." Andrew pointed out.
"I'll go," Margaret decided to volunteer.
"Good. You sure smell better." Hawkeye remarked.
Margaret only gave him a stern look before leaving the mess tent. Andrew had to glower at him too. He wasn't wrong about that though. She did have some fragrance on when she sat next to him. Perhaps it did feel good to...
Andrew shook his head to keep himself under control.
"Well, that's one less problem that we don't have to deal with," BJ spoke up.
"And speaking of problem," Andrew remembered something. "Anyone knows where Klinger went off to?"
"Oh, I think he said something earlier about making a business deal with the colonel, sir," Radar said matter-of-factly.
Oh no... Andrew felt his blood turn cold as he got up from his seat and headed for the door.
"Hey, Andrew?! Where are you going?" Hawkeye asked him.
"I'm gonna go find Klinger before the nutcase decides to pester the colonel," he revealed before storming out.
As soon as Andrew was gone, Radar turned his attention back to Charles.
"Is there anything I can do for you, Major?" The company clerk asked.
"Yes, there is. Scram, peewee!" Winchester barked at him to get lost.
Nothing else was discussed between the two captains and major, as they continued sitting there...
Meanwhile, in Sherman Potter's tent, we see the colonel lying on his bed while reading his favorite book. There wasn't much on his mind. Ever since he suffered from Phlebitis, he felt very invalid, and it was further escalated by the much younger Captain Simmons taking over for him. Why would the camp need him in charge when a much younger person like Simmons could do what he did, but better? It was for that reason alone that he didn't want anyone to bother him.
Sadly, his alone time was interrupted by a knock at his door, which caught his attention.
"Yes, Radar," he assumed it was the company clerk, but he was wrong. It was Klinger; wearing the same business getup that he was wearing before.
"Pardon me, sir? Are you the gentleman of the house?" Klinger queried, entering the abode.
"I'm reading." Potter went back to reading, not paying attention to him.
"I'm Klinger. Pleased to meet you." Klinger greeted ignorantly.
Potter huffed in annoyance. He was in no mood to deal with anyone bothering him, let alone from Klinger. He was about to get up when Klinger kept him from doing so.
"Don't get up. Stay right where you are," Klinger set down his suitcase right in front of his bed and opened it. "What I've got to show you, you can see from the privacy of your own bed. Aluminum siding."
"Klinger, I'm not buying it." Potter deadpanned.
"You don't have to, sir," Klinger insisted, taking out some samples. "If you'll just allow us to use your spacious home as a model, the Toledo Siding Company will side your entire home absolutely free with no obligation to you and the little missus. All you do is allow me to bring in a few prospective customers to view your new lightweight castle."
"Klinger, this one isn't even good enough for a 4-H Club skit." Potter was not impressed by what Klinger was displaying to him.
"I understand perfectly, my good man. No siding," Klinger took out what seemed to be a wood shingle. "Okay, let's talk simulated wood shingle."
"You're nuts if you think this is gonna make me think you're nuts." Potter huffed, becoming more annoyed by each passing second.
"No nuts, not even a bolt. We laminate it right on," Klinger exclaimed before a knock was heard at the door.
"Hey colonel," this was from Andrew as he opened the door and stepped inside. "I was wondering if you saw...KLINGER!"
His focus was on the corporal, trying to pull the same deal that he did earlier. Klinger was all surprised to see Andrew enter the hut.
"Aha! You must be this good man's son right," Klinger was oblivious to who he was. "Klinger's the name. Pleased to meet you."
"Don't give me that Klinger," he told him. "I knew that you would be pestering the colonel like this!"
"What gave it away?"
"Well, a little birdie told me," Andrew crossed his arms.
"Drats," Klinger snapped his finger. "Well since your here, would you like to see my samples?"
"Come on Klinger," Andrew spat. "If this skit didn't work before, what makes you think it'll work now!?"
"Gentlemen, enough," Potter got their attention. "So Major Peterson, I suppose you know what to do with this guy, being the Toledo Police Officer and all."
Andrew rubbed his hand across his face before going along with it. "Alright. Alright. Okay, Klinger, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put you under arrest."
"Arrest me? For what?"
"Well," Andrew did some thinking. "It has something to do with disturbing the peace."
"What peace? I was just proposing a business deal with this good man right here!" Klinger defended.
"Sorry, but that's not gonna work with me," Andrew huffed. "Come on, let's go."
Andrew tried to get Klinger out, but he wasn't budging. Andrew was then struggling to get him out, to no avail.
"Come on Klinger, let's go!" Andrew grunted.
"Not until I finish my business deal!"
"Klinger? If you don't follow my instructions, I'll also have to arrest you for resisting the arrest."
"I don't care who does the arrest," Potter bellowed. "I want you to get out of here Andrew! And take that lunatic with you!"
Andrew could only shake his head as he sighed. "I'll get to you later sir. Right now, Klinger, we have to go!"
"No. I'm not done yet."
"For goodness sake Klinger, this is crazy!"
There was a lot of struggle between the two for several moments.
It came to a stop when another person knocked at the door.
This caused Andrew and Klinger to separate as they allowed whoever it was to open the door. The person turned out to be Margaret, who was here to get the colonel on his feet. Klinger saw her and came to an assumption as he faced Colonel Potter.
"Well, what do you know!? Good sir, it's your son's wife," Klinger proclaimed before facing Andrew with a sly grin. "You lucky dog."
Another blush formed on Andrew's face. This just wasn't his day. A lot of things were messed up around here today, and he found it in himself to be the sensible and reasonable one.
"Klinger, are you pestering the colonel now?" Margaret groaned. "At 5:00 this morning, he tried to sell me deep-pile carpeting."
"Yeah. I think I got the message when I heard you screaming at him from across the compound," Andrew admitted. "And then he went into the Swamp, and tried to put the same stunt with me."
"And now he's attempting to do the same with the colonel," Margaret figured out.
"Well you two, it's wise to reconsider my proposition," Klinger insisted. "I still have a few feet left."
"So have I. Get out of here," Margaret ordered.
"But ma'am I..."
"Don't argue with her Klinger," Andrew interjected. "Get moving!"
"You heard the young couple. Blow," Potter ordered, going along with Klinger's delirious scheme. "Two's a company, and three's a crowd! So get!"
Klinger could only sigh at this. He was this close to making a deal with one of his customers, on his third try. He couldn't argue with what he pictured to be a young couple and their dad. So he had to take his service elsewhere.
"Boy, just when you're about to close a deal, the other two-thirds walk in and butcher it," he grabbed his suitcase, closed it up, and then headed out of the tent.
"Well, we got one problem taken care of. Now there's the issue with the colonel," Andrew said, facing the colonel for emphasis.
"I agree Andrew. Colonel, what are you doing in bed?" The head nurse asked.
"Now don't you two start," Potter warned them before going back to reading or attempting to.
"Can I have my samples, folks?" Klinger poked his head back into the tent, having forgotten his samples. "I got a couple of hot prospects next door. Newlyweds."
"Will you get out of here?" The samples were practically thrown at him where they landed outside.
"See that? You can't hurt these little wonders." Klinger remarked as he picked up the samples and took his leave.
"Okay. I think it's safe to say that Klinger has been taken care of," Andrew then turned to see Potter still in bed. "But since I'm here..."
"Yeah, now as for you, why the mopes?" Margaret added.
"Look you two, I'll tell you this once. My leg hurts, it needs some bed rest, and I'm entitled." Potter tried to argue.
"No one's arguing with that," Margaret insisted. "But you've been in here for two days, and you know as well as I do that you've gotta get up and move around."
"Yeah. We need to make sure you get out of bed and bunny hop across the entire compound," Andrew had to correct himself. "...Well, maybe don't overdo it, but you get my point."
"Yeah. Well, suppose if I don't want to," Potter queried.
Andrew sighed and shook his head. "Sorry sir, but I'm afraid you don't have a choice."
"He's right Colonel. You're no special case here. There's work to do, and it's time you started doing it."
"Why? You guys have Captain Simmons," Potter sighed.
Andrew had to pinch the edge of his nose yet again and get through to him. "Listen, Colonel, I've already told this to Winchester who was suffering from a hangover, and I'm gonna need to tell you his too. He isn't here anymore. So we need you to take command again. Without you, there would be nothing but anarchy."
"Andrew, I get what you're saying," the colonel sighed. "But I just can't. I can't get my leg to move."
"Well, did you at least try to move it?"
"No."
"Then don't say you can't if you didn't try yet," Andrew sighed, hoping he was getting his point across. "Look, I know it's been tough for you sir. But believe me, there might be a light at the end of the tunnel."
Colonel Potter sighed. "Major Peterson, I appreciate you trying to be optimistic about this. But the fact is that everything is getting done without me."
Now Margaret decided to step in again. "That's a lousy excuse, sir. Andrew has a point. I mean, what if everybody around here felt and did what you're doing? Nothing would ever get done."
"Yeah, and like you said to us before, everyone has to do their part, and you are no exception," Andrew added.
"Alright. Both of you made your point. I'll pull myself up." Potter told them.
"Attaboy," Margaret said.
"Now we're getting somewhere," Andrew added.
"This afternoon," Potter replied.
"Now!" Margaret insisted.
"No sir! The sooner you get moving, the better." Andrew murmured.
The two of them tried to get him out of bed. Unfortunately for them, he was strong enough to resist getting pulled out of bed despite his old age.
"Come on, all right," the colonel was not making this easy for either of them.
"Please don't make us do this, sir," Andrew was hoping to get him to understand, but it was all for naught.
"That's right, go ahead, fight with us," the head nurse encourages. "At least it'll get your circulation going!"
"Yeah, just like how you were this close to kicking Klinger out yourself," the major mentioned. "Don't think I didn't notice that look in your eye when he was pestering you."
Colonel Potter was getting tired of these two struggling to get him out of bed. "Now Andrew, Margaret, stop it! Both of you!"
But before things could escalate any further, the voice on the intercom started to boom throughout the compound.
"ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL! INCOMING WOUNDED! ROLL OUT THE WELCOME MAT!"
"Now you've got no choice," Margaret had a satisfied smirk on her face as the colonel started to get up.
"I was just leaving," Potter insisted.
"That's the spirit," Andrew also had a smirk that equaled that of Margaret's.
Colonel Potter said nothing else as he started to limp out of the tent and head to the OR to treat the wounded. The two responsible for getting him out of bed followed afterwards.
"Hey Andrew," she turned to face the guy who helped her. "Thank you for the help. But I could've handled him myself."
"I know," Andrew nodded. "But I was already in there when I had to deal with Klinger, so I figured what the heck. I might as well help out."
"Well, I appreciate the assistance," the head nurse inclined. "Now let's go take care of the wounded."
"Right behind you."
And so the two of them headed on out to get themselves scrubbed up and stuff before heading into OR and taking care of the business that needed to be dealt with...
MUCH LATER...
It had been a six-hour session in the OR, but the wounded had been treated. Everything had been taken care of, and the personnel got their duties done afterwards. Andrew was rather beat from the OR, but he had no problem with it. He did notice Colonel Potter and Major Winchester arguing before going into OR, which he didn't find to be so surprising. What matter was that he still did what he had to do.
He had noticed Klinger trying to work on the roof to one of the tents, but had not much success. But after he was called to Colonel Potter's office, he vanished. As he walked past the office, he overheard Potter getting Klinger to answer some questions before filling out his Section 8 form. He poked his head into the company clerk's office as he heard one part that caught his interest.
"Rank?" Potter asked.
"Corporal," Klinger answered absentmindedly, something that Potter was counting on.
"AHA!" The colonel hollered as if he pulled a trick on the corporal. "GOTCHA SOLDIER!"
And with that, Colonel Potter went on ahead and torn up the section 8 paper, leaving Klinger rather devastated. He almost had it. Had he just kept it in for a little longer, he would have gotten out.
"Shoot," Klinger cried out in despair. "And I was so close too!"
"Yeah, well it's like I say; better try harder Corporal Klinger," Potter said with such confidence.
Klinger then stood up and took his leave, as Andrew was smirking at the whole thing.
I knew that it was a Section 8 caper right from the start! Andrew thought proudly.
"So I take it that it was a Section 8 scheme after all, right," Radar got his attention.
"Yeah," Andrew turned to face him. "It seemed obvious since this isn't anything like Toledo."
"Or anywhere in the United States for that matter," Radar added.
"Uh-huh," Andrew smiled. "So anyway, are you up to going to the Officer's Club?"
"Well, I have finished sorting out the files here," Radar admitted. "Yes. I would like to go there."
"Sounds like a plan to me."
And so the two of them headed out of the office and for the Officer's Club.
"Geez sir, I hope Major Winchester isn't there to get himself drunk again," Radar expressed worry.
"Trust me Radar," Andrew commented. "After what happened to him today, I don't think he'll be getting himself drunk anytime soon."
"Yeah, you have a good point Major Peterson sir," Radar agreed.
Andrew nodded as the two of them didn't say another word, at least until they got to the Officer's Club.
Andrew opened the door as he entered with Radar following right behind him.
"It looks all good from here sir," Radar remarked. "I don't see Winchester anywhere."
"Nor do I see Klinger with a sign that says 'Tin Can Toledo'," Andrew joked.
"Yeah. I don't think that'll be happening again sir," Radar laughed at that.
"So, shall we take a seat?" Andrew offered.
"Yes sir," Radar agreed as they took a seat in front of the counter.
They ordered the same thing that they got from last night, hoping to finish it this time.
"Yeah. I gotta say Radar, I've definitely learned to fit into this place," Andrew remarked. "And you were right, I am starting to get used to it."
"I told you, sir."
"And hey, it does feel like I'm at home," the major remarked. "It's like a home away from home...kinda."
"Yeah, you can say that." Radar smiled sheepishly.
"Hey," a voice got their attention. "Andrew! Radar!"
It was from Margaret. By this point, Andrew was starting to expect this, seeing how many times this has happened. It seemed like it was meant to occur. The head nurse headed towards the two guys.
"Oh, hello Major Houlihan," Radar greeted.
"Yeah. Hey Margaret," Andrew said more casually.
"So, you two are getting drinks," she said. "Mind if I join you?"
"Oh no, it's no problem at all ma'am," Radar said.
"Yeah sure," Andrew wasn't bothered by it.
From that moment on, Andrew founded himself sandwiched between Radar and Margaret. It wasn't a problem for him though. The remainder of the day was spent just drinking. chatting and other stuff. Andrew was glad that he was starting to find his place in the M*A*S*H 4077.
But what Andrew didn't know was that there were going to be several changes heading his way. And the first one had something to do with Radar being discharged...
END OF CHAPTER 6...
Yeah, this chapter was a little tricky for me to write. Considering how well I did the previous chapter, I feel this chapter falls a little flat compared to that. Still, I don't think I did a bad job for this one. I do hope you enjoyed reading it.
And as the ending implies, some changes are in store for Andrew, and they will show the full effects in the following couple of chapters. Regardless, things are getting more interesting for the character.
One more thing, this chapter is the last full chapter to have Radar included in it, with the next chapter having him only appear in a flashback. That's because the next chapter involves how Andrew and the others cope with Radar being gone, and how Klinger is having a hard time following up as the new company clerk. How will it go for everyone? Find out next time!
For now, only if you want to, you can leave a review and let me know what you think of this chapter. Only leave constructive criticism if you can say it politely. And if you have a positive review, feel free to leave it.
Now that that's all set, I've got nothing else to say. So until next time, I hope you look forward to the changes made for the future chapters. And on that note, thanks for reading this chapter everyone!
