Alright, folks! Here is the 27th chapter of this story!

Now, this is a chapter that I've been planning for a while. I just wanted to wait until I've gotten late into this story to publish it. Just wanted to let you know guys!

Anyway, as I said before, this chapter is pretty much an adaptation of the April Fools episode, with some extra dialogue made since Andrew is included. Aside from that, some drama unfolds, pranks get a little obnoxious, and this Colonel comes to the M*A*S*H 4077, among other things. How will this all go? Find out now!


AT THE M*A*S*H 4077:

Things were going pretty smoothly at the 4077. The OR sessions were as they should be, a large chunk of the doctors drank at the Officer's Club, and people were taking part in their favorite pastime.

However, there were a lot more practical jokes and pranks taking place, more than usual. The reason for this was simple. It was close to April Fools day at the 4077. And to take full advantage of it, three of the Swamp Rats; Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles have set up multiple pranks on everyone in the compound. No one was safe from this. Nobody. They even got each other.

Currently, the three Swamp-Rats were in the scrub room or resting area with Colonel Potter, who had gotten done with the OR session. They were having a simple discussion with each other, as BJ offered Charles some pralines in a can. Unfortunately, the joke was on Winchester, for once he opened the can, a bunch of fake snakes popped out from it, getting Charles startled for a second as he realized that he's been pranked.

This resulted in the two captains laughing their heads off at how they got Charles. Charles was somewhat unamused, while at the same time, he knew that it was close to that time of year. Colonel Potter, on the other hand, was not impressed by this at all. The Colonel expressed his irritation at this.

"Dagnabit," Colonel Potter scolded them. "You two should be ashamed of yourselves. What's next? Whoopee cushions on the wheelchairs?"

"The true cruelty of this lame jest is that there are no pralines." Charles rolled his eyes. "Not that it matters. I've pulled a couple of practical jests too."

"Oh Charles, you sneaky devil," Hawkeye teased. "You are in on the fun too?"

"Looks like there are three pranksters in the midst," BJ added.

"For criminy sake, what's going on," Colonel Potter grunted. "What's with all the practical jokes all of a sudden? I've seen a couple of personnel here having been affected with the pranking spree!"

"This is the season to be silly, Colonel," BJ remarked. "April one-eth is at hand."

"And you know what that means?" Hawkeye told him. "It's a prank-athon."

"I should have known," Colonel Potter moaned. "It's still March according to my Farmer's Almanac."

"Relax Colonel," Charles remarked. "It only comes once a year anyway."

"And besides, everyone here is a victim," BJ added.

"Really? Like who?" Colonel Potter asked.

His question was answered when Andrew kicked the door open. And by the facial expression on his face, he was pretty peeved off. Not only that, but he had some brown gooey liquid dripped down from his hat.

"Alright, you guys! Which one of you did this!?" Andrew scowled.

"Did what, pray to tell Peterson?" Charles asked innocently.

"Don't play that game with me, Winchester," Andrew yelled in annoyance. "I'm talking about the little treat that I found in my cap when I was putting it on!"

"Really? What kind of little treat was in your cap?" Hawkeye dared to asked.

"You should know Pierce," Andrew deadpanned. "I put my cap on, and what I found was a cap full of chocolate pudding!"

Andrew took off his cap and showed them the chocolate pudding that was inside. Some traces of the chocolate pudding was in his hair too. They realized that he figured out their prank as they laughed at how his head was covered in chocolate pudding.

"Wow Andrew! That's a new hairstyle for you," BJ quirked.

"I hope you aren't mad at us Andrew," Hawkeye gave him a smirk.

"Oh no, Pierce. Because it just so happens that I enjoy getting my cap filled up with chocolate pudding," Andrew retorted in the most sarcastic tone in his voice. "What's the big idea about this anyway?"

"I'm surprised you didn't get the memo, Andrew," Charles rolled his eyes haughtily. "We are approaching April Fools day as we speak."

April Fools Day? Oh, so that's what this is about... Now Andrew was growing agitated by this.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Andrew groaned in aggravation.

"I should have known. I should have figured out that you'd three would be up to your usual tricks around this time of year."

"Gee Andrew, you look so red in the face. Maybe you should cover your face with oatmeal," Hawkeye joked. "Or in this case, maybe we should use chocolate pudding that I left in your cap!"

The three other Swamp Rats cackled in delight as Andrew frowned in annoyance and glared at them.

"Very funny you guys. But know that I will have the last laugh here." Andrew declared proficiently.

"Oh come on Andrew," BJ egged him. "You can't be serious. You must be joking!"

"Yeah. Everyone is being a practical joker this time of year," Hawkeye added.

"I'm well aware of that." Andrew huffed in irritation. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta wash out my cap and then scrub my hair and remove all this chocolate pudding."

Andrew knew April Fools' day all too well. Every year, he's been made the butt of all jokes by everyone in high school who used to pull these schemes. The thing is, Andrew wasn't going to take any of that sitting down. So he'd always get back at those jokers by setting up pranks of his own. It was his way of getting even with them on April Fools day. And now he's being put into the same position by his three bunkmates? He wasn't going to stand for this.

I'm gonna get back at them for this, especially Hawkeye. After I've washed my cap and my hair. Andrew thought.

With that, Andrew slammed his cap back onto his head and stormed out of the building, and went for the shower tent, not caring about the snickers he was getting from some of the other doctors about having chocolate pudding on his head. He didn't even notice the 'KICK ME' sign taped onto the back of his shirt.

"Wow. That was a great chocolatey prank you set up for him Hawk," BJ complimented.

"Thanks, Beej," Hawkeye said. "I do what I can for the pudding in the hat."

"Ha. You two gentlemen think that was funny," Charles snorted. "That's nothing compared to the other sap that I've jested."

"What was it, Charles?" BJ queried with amusement.

"Well, let's just say that it has something to do with stuffing minnows into a certain head nurse's pocket," Charles had no shame with that reveal.

"Minnows? Do you mean you got..." Before Hawkeye could finish, they heard Margaret screaming from nearby. No one commented as the head nurse opened the curtain, looking rather peeved, not unlike Andrew.

"All right. Who left the dead minnows in my pocket?" Margaret asked in irritation.

"They're dead?" Charles scoffed in horror. "Why Margaret, they were alive when I put them there. You've killed them."

Hawkeye and BJ already figured out what Charles had done. They had already gotten Andrew with the chocolate pudding in his cap, and now Charles got Andrew's girlfriend by putting minnows in her pocket. Ones that were killed when Margaret sat down.

From there, Hawkeye and BJ laughed at what Charles pulled. Margaret wasn't impressed by this, but she decided to plan something too.

"Go ahead and laugh, guys. There are plenty of minnows in the sea," Margaret warned them with a smirk. "A Houlihan never forgets."

"'Et three', Margaret?" Colonel Potter asked.

"Better make that 'Et four', Colonel," Hawkeye told him before facing Margaret. "Andrew was just in here before you showed up, and he seemed pretty angry with us."

"Andrew," she looked at them with annoyance. "What did you guys do to him this time?"

"It's simply easy to explain," Charles spoke up. "Margaret, your little romantic partner-in-crime had shown us the chocolate pudding that Pierce put into his cap."

"And with that, we also saw the new hairstyle that he was trying out thanks to the pudding," Hawkeye retorted.

"And? What did he say," the head nurse was getting this feeling that Andrew wasn't going to stand for this.

"Not much. But he looked like he was going to get back at us for it," BJ exclaimed. "Said something about how he'll 'have the last laugh' on us or something like that."

"We could tell he was joking," Hawkeye snorted. "He wasn't being serious about that."

"Indeed. It would take a genius to know that someone who has a 'KICK ME' sign taped onto his back wouldn't be serious about it." Charles added.

Margaret shook her head in disgrace as the three Swamp-Rats chuckled at this. She was not impressed by how they also got her sweet wonderful man and make him the butt of the jokes. She knew that Andrew would get back at them, and she was going to team up with him to do it.

I'm gonna get Andrew and we can get back at them together. It'll be so worth it.

Shaking her head, she glowered at them. "That is so like you guys. You are willing to pull these pranks on all of us, and Andrew is no exception. If you think I'm going to stand to the side as you pull your practical jokes on my boyfriend, you're wrong."

Margaret was about to leave but was stopped when Hawkeye called out to her.

"Margaret, where are you going," he teased. "Are you going to see your boyfriend?"

"Yes. So what?" Margaret huffed before closing the curtain and leaving.

"I don't believe you boys," Colonel Potter shook his head in disappointment. "It wasn't enough that you put some chocolate pudding into Andrew's hat. Now you put some live minnows in Margaret's pocket."

"Well technically speaking, Charles put the minnows in Margaret's pocket," BJ corrected.

"And it was Pierce who put the chocolate pudding in Peterson's hat," Charles added.

"But the three of us work as a team when it comes to pranking the others," Hawkeye had a smug grin of confidence as he said that.

"But damn it, why do you have to make all this trouble come up," Colonel Potter grunted.

"Relax Colonel. There are only a few joking days left," Hawkeye assured him.

"Okay, okay. But just include me out. 'Understandez'vous?" Potter sighed. "If not, then I'll just have to remain in my tent and treat it as a bunker until this whole set of tomfoolery blows over!"

The Swamp rats went along with it as Colonel Potter took his leave. He had no idea what was going to happen until April Fools came and passed. There was no doubt about it. It was going to get crazy at the 4077...


IN THE SHOWER TENT:

Meanwhile, in the shower tent, Andrew was scrubbing his scalp like crazy to get all this chocolate pudding out of his hair, and also washed the inside of his hat with plenty of soap. Before he took his clothes off, he found a 'KICK ME' sign placed on the back of his shirt, knowing that this was BJ's doing, based on the signature. In a fit of rage, Andrew tore it off, crumbled it several times, and hurled it into the trash can.

Andrew couldn't stand being the butt in the Swamp. And he wasn't the only one either. He could have sworn that he saw Father Mulcahy wearing a gown once he was done with the shower. And he was pretty outraged about it. He couldn't blame him though. These jokes have gotten a little out of hand, and it was because of how April Fools day was coming up.

"Those Swamp rats! Thinking that I'm gonna take these jokes until April Fools is done!" Andrew vented loudly. "There's no way I'm gonna let them off the hook! I'll get back at them somehow! I just need to think about what I should do."

Eventually, the major finished his shower, got himself dried up, put his clothes back on, and grabbed his cap, which was still damp from being scrubbed. He put it on his head anyway, knowing that something else could happen to it if he chose not to wear it.

Feeling just about finished in here, Andrew went for the door and exited the shower tent. However, once he walked out that door, he jumped in shock before seeing that standing outside the shower tent was his girlfriend. It seems that Margaret overheard him venting, and decided to wait for him to come out.

"Oh uh, hey Margaret," Andrew panted. "Are you planning on pulling a prank on me too?"

"Oh no. Of course not darling. I would never pull a prank on you," Margaret told him. "So I guess the swamp rats got the joke on you too, huh?"

"They sure did," Andrew groaned as he and Margaret walked away from the shower tent. "I was pretty upset when I found some chocolate pudding in my cap thanks to Pierce. I had to scrub my hair and my cap clean to get it off."

"Your not the only one who got joked," Margaret told him. "Winchester filled my pocket with minnows."

"He didn't?" Andrew was shocked to see his girlfriend getting duped.

"He did," Margaret nodded, which was more than enough of an answer for Andrew to buy.

"I can't believe it," Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose. "And if that wasn't enough, I found a 'KICK ME' sign on the back of my shirt. Apparently, Hunnicutt did that since I found his signature on it."

"That's terrible," she told him sympathetically, patting him on the back in an affectionate manner.

"It sure is," he sighed. "Honestly, I think those three are out to get everyone, including us. All because it's close to April Fools. Now I'm seen as an even bigger butt of all jokes to them."

"I know honey," she cooed softly. "And that's why I came to see you. I have a way on how to get back at them and pull my own prank. And I want you to team up with me to do it."

"Oh, sugar plum. You know that I'd love to team up with you to get back at them," Andrew felt his eyes glisten as he was looking forward to this. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking about filling one of Pierce's boots with oatmeal," Margaret had that sly smirk on her face and that sideway glance in her eyes. "Do you have a way to contribute?"

"Hmmm...yeah," Andrew thought of something, a sly smirk appearing on his face. "I can put glue on the bottom of it, and have it stick to the floorboard that he can't get it out. It'll be hilarious."

"Excellent," Margaret was satisfied. "Anyway, we can wait for the crack of dawn tomorrow when they are still asleep. That'll give us the chance to pull our own prank on Pierce."

"This is going to be fun," Andrew snickered. "Wait until those Swamp rats get a load of what this romantic couple is capable of pulling on them."

"You said it," she gushed before kissing Andrew on the mouth. "I love you stud."

"I love you too dollface," Andrew smiled. "Let's get the oatmeal and glue right now while we're thinking of it."

"I'm right behind you there." Hot Lips grinned.

The couple went to get a can of oatmeal and a tub of glue that they'll be using. They would wait until the crack of dawn when the Swamp rats were still asleep. At that moment Andrew would put glue on the bottom of the boot while Margaret stuffed the inside of it with oatmeal.

Man, was Pierce going to be in for a surprise when he finds out about this; coming from the compound's local couple no less...


THE FOLLOWING MORNING - AT THE SWAMP:

The next day came to the 4077, and Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles were resting snugly in their beds when Klinger came in and woke them up. The company clerk mentioned something about an emergency meeting taking place in the Colonel's office. The three of them begrudgingly got up and saw that Andrew wasn't in his bed.

That was the least of their problems though. When Hawkeye stuff his right foot into his right boot, he felt something lumpy inside, felt like oatmeal. In addition to that, he felt that the boot was glued straight onto the floor. By the time he was able to pull it out, he somersaulted forward before crashing into the desk. His right boot managed to pull out a piece of the floorboard with it.

Needless to say, Charles and BJ were chuckling at this.

"Wow Pierce. It would appear that your boot ripped out a piece of the floorboard when you tried to pull it out." Charles chuckled.

"What happened anyway? Did your boot get stuck to the floor?" BJ queried through a snicker.

"I think so. But that isn't the only problem," Hawkeye turned his attention to the company clerk. "Klinger, did you see anybody else lurking around here earlier?"

"No. Oh, yeah! I think I saw Major Houlihan leaving. And I believe I saw Major Peterson accompanying her," Klinger answered. "Why?"

"Because there's something besides my foot in my boot. And from the size of the lumps, I'd say it was oatmeal." Hawkeye proclaimed.

"I don't get it. What's that got to do with Peterson?" Klinger asked.

"Oh lookie here," BJ saw something on Andrew's bed and showed it to Hawkeye. "Guess what I found on Andrew's bed, Hawkeye. It's a tub of glue."

"So that's it," Hawkeye came to the realization. "While Margaret was stuffing my boot with oatmeal, Andrew was pasting the boot to the floor where it was glued down."

"Seems to me that you've been duped by Major Houlihan and her romantic accomplice Major Peterson," Charles retorted. "If you thought that was bad, at least you weren't the one who woke up to the word 'Kilroy' painted on your forehead."

"Or have your mouthwash filled with Tabasco sauce," BJ brought up. "But I guess it should be expected. Those two work together like a well-fit team, and they showed all three of us."

"I'm aware of that, and I'm gonna find out from them," Hawkeye snorted.

"You can do it later," Klinger reminded them. "We need to go to Colonel Potter's office right now."

The three of them couldn't argue there. So after getting on their bathrobes, they headed out to the Colonel's office, wondering what's so important that they have to see him on the double...


IN COLONEL POTTER'S OFFICE:

We see Colonel Potter giving the five medical staff members an important news report. It seems that he got a TWX from someone called Colonel Daniel Webster Tucker, saying that he's going to be stopping by first thing tomorrow. The Colonel also made the command of having everyone put a stop to these childish pranks since this Colonel is apparently "a man who picks his teeth with a rusty nail." And he would not take kindly to this foolishness.

He made sure that everyone would follow this. BJ and Charles agreed with it. Hawkeye, on the other hand, wasn't easy to convince, as he had his full attention on Margaret.

"Thanks for the room service, Margaret," Hawkeye told her. "I always did like breakfast in boot."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Margaret played innocent.

Hawkeye then turned to face Andrew. "And Andrew? I just loved having my boots tied up and pasted down to the point where it pulled out a part of the floorboard, which you gave Margaret a hand with."

"And? What's that got to do with me?" Andrew was also playing innocent while standing next to Margaret.

"Don't worry about me, sir," Margaret turned her attention to the Colonel.

"Same with me," Andrew pledged. "No more practical jokes from this Major."

"Just remember, I owe you two one," Hawkeye told them.

"Wait a minute. Pierce, are you 'deef'?" Colonel Potter was annoyed by this. "I'm giving your hijinks the heave-ho, post haste. I'm the boss here! I can do that!"

"I heard you, Colonel," Pierce sighed.

"And?" Sherman Potter encouraged him to speak.

"And I'll follow your instructions to the letter." Hawkeye gave in.

"Fine, fine. I knew you wouldn't let your revered leader down," Colonel Potter proclaimed sincerely. "But just in case, check your joy buzzers at the door. Dismissed."

With that, all five of them were dismissed from the office as they made their exit. At that very moment, both Margaret and Andrew couldn't help but rub it in their faces, if only a little bit.

"She who laughs last," Margaret teased with a mischievous smirk on her face.

"With a little help from her romantic partner," Andrew added, with the same type of smirk on his face. "We're even now."

The two of them let out a couple of chuckles, kissed briefly mouth to mouth, and held hands before they separated from the three Swamp rats, satisfied that they got the drop on them.


As soon as both of them were out of earshot from them, their light chuckles shortly turned into bursts of laughter, as they out-prank the pranksters. They truly did get the last laugh on them.

"Margaret, that was hilarious," Andrew laughed. "Didn't you hear about how Pierce's boot pulled out a piece of the floorboard thanks to the glue?"

"To say nothing about how his boot was given a lumpy treatment courtest of the oatmeal," Margaret laughed with him. "We sure showed him, Andrew."

"And if that wasn't enough, I'm still in hysterics about how you painted the word 'Kilroy' on Winchester's forehead while he slept," Andrew chuckled.

"Not as hilarious as to how you put Tabasco into Hunnicutt's mouthwash," Margaret brought up while giggling.

"Yeah, that was kinda funny," Andrew said modestly. "But we managed to get all three of them."

"We sure did," Margaret agreed. "And I have to wonder why we haven't pulled these pranks together sooner."

"I don't know. But I did have a lot of fun doing it with you, dear."

"I feel the same way darling."

"But in all seriousness," Andrew calmed down and got serious. "I think we shouldn't pull anymore pranks. I think we should do as the Colonel says and not get him into hot water with this Colonel Tucker."

"I agree sweetie," Margaret said. "I'm just about done with pulling pranks anyway."

"Me too," Andrew smiled warmly. "I love you, honey."

"I love you too sugar plum."

And so the two of them decided to hang out for a bit before separating for a short period of time...


LATER - IN THE SWAMP:

Some time had passed since then, and now Andrew was spending some alone time in the Swamp, sitting on his bed while reading one of his magazines. He noticed that his three bunkmates weren't back yet. He had this very suspicious feeling that those three were up to something. And it didn't sit well with him. He wondered just what it was they were planning this time.

Just then, his three bunkmates entered the Swamp as they had something that they had to share with Andrew.

"Hey Andrew, we got something that we want to share with you," Hawkeye spoke first. "We just came up with this hilarious prank that we want to pull."

Upon hearing that, Andrew put the magazine down and gave him a blank look. "I thought the Colonel told us to put a stop to all pranks until Colonel Tucker is done with our base."

"We know Andrew. But Colonel Tucker isn't here yet, and we want to do one more prank for good time's sake." BJ told him.

"Indeed. And being our bunkmate, we were wondering if you'd like to take part in it," Charles said.

Andrew closed up the magazine and put it back on the desk. He wasn't too keen on any practical jokes at the moment.

"Sorry guys, but I'm not up to pulling any pranks for whatever reason. I really don't want the Colonel to get furious with us," Andrew sighed. "And I don't want Colonel Potter to get in hot water with this Colonel Tucker person. I'm gonna have to sit this one out, and I suggest you forget about it. Unless you want to get in trouble. Even then, keep me out of it."

"Oh come on Andrew," BJ tried to encourage. "We just want to pull a big one before Colonel Tucker shows up."

"Yes. Even if you don't seem interested, the least you could do is to show some support," Charles huffed.

"Look, guys, I'm not going to do something I'll regret. So I'm gonna sit this one out," Andrew sat up. "It doesn't matter who your planning on pulling a prank on. You're not going to change my mind."

"You haven't even heard who is our victim and what we're going to do," Hawkeye revealed to him. "We were planning on taking the canvas part of Margaret's tent and leave everything inside the way it is!"

This got Andrew's attention, but not for positive reasons. He did not just hear him say that.

"Wait a minute," Andrew spoke. "I didn't just hear you say that, right? Please tell me you didn't. Did you say you were planning on pranking Margaret?"

"Yes," Hawkeye didn't hold back. "We are planning on getting back at Margaret the menace!"

"I can't possibly stand how she painted 'Kilroy' on my forehead when I was asleep," Charles grumbled.

"Not to mention how there was Tabasco in my mouthwash," BJ added.

"So we are going to prank Margaret and wanted to know if you are in?" Hawkeye asked him.

Andrew gave him a blank stare. What kind of idiot did he take him for? Was he that stupid to think that Andrew would want to prank Margaret, let alone do anything to hurt his girlfriend?

Taking a deep breath, Andrew spoke up about this.

"That's what I thought you said," Andrew said calmly before raising his voice and then screamed at them. "YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA HELP WITH PRANKING MARGARET!"

"Now Andrew, I know how you feel, but-"

"But nothing Hunnicutt! Even if I was up to pulling a prank again, even if we were allowed to pull pranks, this is one that I won't have any part in! My answer is NO!" Andrew yelled.

"Come on Andrew. Don't make us beg," Hawkeye told him.

"Forget it! I'm not going for it," Andrew remained firm. "I'm not doing it. And you can't convince me."

"Come now Major. Surely there is something that can make you change your mind." Charles tried to persuade him.

"There isn't Winchester. No matter how much you beg me, my answer is still the same. NO! I'm not going along with it," Andrew howled in defiance. "I WILL NOT PRANK MARGARET!"

Not wanting to deal with this any longer, Andrew stormed for the door and was about to take his leave.

"Andrew? Where are you going?" Hawkeye queried.

"I'm going to take a shower," Andrew answered.

"But you don't need to take a shower," BJ brought up.

"I know," Andrew spat. "I'm doing it so I don't have to pummel you three!"

Without another word, Andrew got out of the Swamp and went for the shower tent. The Swamp rats all exchanged looks with each other. They knew the flaw with telling Andrew about this plan and how it could be put to a stop.

"You know Hawkeye," BJ started. "Andrew is going to tell Margaret about this. You know that right?"

"Indeed. Major Peterson will spill the beans with Major Houlihan about this delirious scheme," Charles brought up. "He's not just her romantic partner. He's also her personal messenger who is willing to tell her anything that's going on."

"I know that guys," Hawkeye said. "That's why I have a backup plan to keep him from telling her about the prank."

"Really? What is it," BJ looked curious by this.

"While he's showering, we can take his cap, and he'll have to go on a wild goose chase to find it," Hawkeye explained. "With him distracted, he'll completely forget about the prank we're planning to pull on Margaret."

"Pierce, that is an underhanded, scandalous, and delirious scheme," Charles insulted before going along with it. "When do we start?"

"Once Andrew starts the shower water, I'll sneak it and swipe it," Hawkeye answered. "He'll find out it's missing, and he'll get distracted while trying to find it."

"Sounds like a plan," BJ shrugged. "Let's go."

"Right."

With that, the Swamp rats went out of the Swamp and went for the shower tent to wait before they make their next move. Once they approached the tent, Hawkeye cracked the door open a bit, and poked in to see Andrew showering with his eyes closed, and his cap was just within reach.

Perfect. This is my chance. Hawkeye thought with a smirk.

Reaching his hand in there, Hawkeye went and grabbed his cap. Once he got a hold of it, he brought his hand out of the tent and once his arm was out, he closed the door, with his cap in his hand.

"There. Now we take it and leave him wondering where it is," Hawkeye proclaimed. "He'll notice that it's gone, and will go on a scavenger hunt for it."

"How do you know that for sure Hawk?" Hunnicutt queried.

"Well Beej, Andrew became so paranoid when his hat was filled with pudding," Pierce answered. "Knowing him, he'll be bound to hunt for this cap."

"That is an excellent point Pierce," Winchester commented.

"Yeah," Hawkeye nodded. "Let's go. We got to make sure he's distracted, and then pull that prank on Margaret."

His bunkmates nodded their heads as the three of them walked off from the area...


In no time at all, Andrew had finished with his shower, as he was drying himself off. It was just a quick one to help him cool off from what his bunkmates just revealed to him. He had every ounce of nerve to tell Margaret about this, and something in his gut convinced him to do so too.

Before he could do anything, he opened his eyes and noticed something. His cap. The cap that he always wears anywhere in Korea since he came into the 4077 was gone. It was missing.

That's strange. I could've sworn my cap was in here with me. Andrew thought as he put the rest of his clothes on. I didn't lose it, did I?

After putting on the rest of his clothes, he looked through the remainder of the shower tent to see if it was still there. Nothing came up. Now he was growing concern.

I must've lost it. I can't find it in the shower tent. Andrew scratched his head. I guess I'm gonna have to look through the compound to find it.

Letting out an aggravated sigh, Andrew left the shower tent and started to search the compound for the cap. The Swamp rats observed this from behind the Swamp and realized that it was working. Andrew became so determined with finding his cap that he completely forgot about what they were planning to do to Margaret.

"See. It worked," Pierce commented. "Now he'll be too focused on finding that cap, that he forgot about us."

"Captain Pierce, I must say that this treacherous scheme was divine," Winchester admitted.

"Yeah," Hunnicutt said. "So let's get to work on removing the canvas of Margaret's tent."

"Okay. Let's get going while Margaret is kept in Post-Op." Hawkeye told them.

And so the three of them got to work on pulling off their prank. With Andrew distracted and Margaret in Post-Op, nothing was stopping them from doing this.

As they were doing that, Andrew looked high and low for his cap. He checked the laundry tent, the mess tent, the OR room, the scrub room, the intercom pole, and even the company clerk's office. There was no sign of it anywhere. Where could it have disappeared to? It couldn't have gone far, could it?

His hunt had led him to the motor pool, which is where he was currently. He was searching the area while Klinger was talking with Rizzo. The two of them were discussing something important when they overheard Andrew speaking to himself.

"Where is it? Where is it?! Ugh! I can't find it anywhere," Andrew was growing a bit frantic. "I wish I knew where it was! It's got to be here in the compound somewhere!"

And so Andrew took his search elsewhere, as Klinger and Rizzo watched him take his leave.

"What's up with him," Rizzo asked Klinger.

"Ah, Major Peterson is just looking for something," Klinger answered. "He'll be alright."

"Yeah. That Major is one strange character," Rizzo admitted.

"Well, he is a great guy," Klinger commented.

"If you say so."

And so Rizzo and Klinger went back to having the conversation that they were having before, putting Andrew out of their minds...


LATER ON THAT NIGHT - IN POST-OP:

It was now nighttime, and Andrew's search for his cap led him to Post-Op. By this point, he was convinced that maybe someone had stolen it. However, he wasn't going to give up easily.

At this moment, he was crawling and looking underneath all the Post-Op beds. But everyone that he looked under was empty. Nothing was underneath any of them. Feeling that this was getting him nowhere, he stopped crawling and got onto his feet.

He walked towards the door that led outside, opened it, and looked outside for a second. He wondered if someone had stumbled upon it and has it on hand. If that was the case, he would have either been approached by someone who found the cap, or it would have been announced on the intercom that it was found by somebody.

Perhaps someone in Post-Op might know the whereabouts of his cap. Backing away from the door, Andrew started walking through Post-Op, as he kept his head turned towards the door leading outside.

Doing this proved to be a mistake, for he wasn't looking where he was going. Because of that, he ended up bumping into someone.

"WHOA!" Andrew yelped that at the same time a woman's yelp was heard.

Andrew recognized that voice from anywhere. This immediately got him to look at who he accidentally bumped into. Turns out it was Margaret. She looked like she was ready to head back to her tent until he bumped into her.

"Oh, Margaret," Andrew apologized to her. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going."

Margaret was about to say something but got cut off when she noticed the look on Andrew's face. He looked like he was searching for something, and has been very desperate. This got her a little concerned for him.

"Andrew? Is there something wrong?" She asked.

"Well, yes there is," he wasn't going to hide it from her. "I'm just looking for my cap. I feel like I lost it."

"Well do you remember when you had it on you last?" Margaret queried.

"The last time I had it on was right before I showered," Andrew explained. "I took it off before I showered and I put it where I usually put it. Once I was done showering, it was gone. I've spent most of the day trying to find it, but I haven't had any luck."

As soon as he was finished, she spent the next couple of moments thinking about what he revealed. Her boyfriend's cap was missing, he was desperate with finding it, and he has no idea where it disappeared to. It wouldn't hurt for her to give him a hand locating it, right?

"Andrew? Would you like me to help you find it?" She offered.

"Really," Andrew looked at her. "It's not going to be any trouble?"

"It's no trouble at all," Margaret insisted. "I'm just about done with Post-Op anyway, and I was heading to my tent. So I can help you find it."

"Thanks, Margaret," Andrew seemed thankful.

"You know what I think darling," she snapped her fingers. "I think your cap might have been delivered to my tent by accident."

"Yeah, that's not far off dear," Andrew rubbed, "Yeah! Someone might have delivered it to your tent, assuming that I'd stop by to check up on you!"

"See! We figured it out," Margaret told him. "Let's go to my tent."

"Alright," Andrew nodded, as the both of them exited Post-Op side by side as they headed for Margaret's tent.

They were unaware of the shocking surprise as to what they'll be in for...


The two of them were walking through the compound when it was nightfall, destined to find Andrew's cap in Margaret's tent. As they were walking, Andrew couldn't help but get this awful feeling that he was forgetting about something highly important. He just couldn't remember what it was. All he needed was a mental boost to get him to remember exactly what it was he had to do.

Suddenly, it came back to him when they got to Margaret's tent...only it wasn't much of a tent, since the canvas was gone. Everything on the inside was left the way it was, but now the inside portion was exposed due to the canvas no longer being there. As it all came back to Andrew, Margaret let out a gasp. She quickly figured out who was responsible for this.

"Those weasels!" Margaret scowled, growing irate about this.

"I can't believe it," Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose. "Those Swamps rats really were serious when they said they would pull this off."

This got Margaret's attention as she looked at Andrew with shock. "You knew they were going to do this? And you didn't bother to tell me about it!?"

"Margaret, I was planning on telling you about it after I took my shower! But then my cap went missing, and then I..." Andrew trailed off before he stopped as he pieced everything together. He knew who took his cap, and why they did it. Letting out some frustration, Andrew screamed. "GOD DAMN IT! THOSE CREEPS STOLE MY CAP ON PURPOSE!"

"What do you mean, honey?" Now Margaret was confused.

"Distraction. It's very simple dear," Andrew explained. "They stole my cap as a means of getting me sidetracked so I'd forget about telling you about this prank! They KNEW that I was planning on informing you about this! What they did was a diversion so I wouldn't interfere with their plan! I can't believe that they'd actually do this to me! I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about this sooner."

"It's not your fault darling," Margaret assured him. "It's those three swamp weasels who are fault! Oh! This time, they've gone too far!"

"No kidding," Andrew grumbled. "I say we go into the Swamp and give them a piece of our mind."

"You've read my mind perfectly," Margaret scowled. "Let's go."

Both of them stormed into the Swamp to show them what for. When they entered the Swamp, they stomped over towards Hawkeye's bed which had somebody underneath the blanket.

"PIERCE, GET UP YOU TENT-NAPPER!" Margaret howled angrily.

"MAKE THAT A CAP-NAPPER TOO!" Andrew added with a bellow, as they pulled the blanket off the bed.

The moment they pulled off the blanket, they got spooked by a startling surprise, depending on how you look at it. Underneath the blanket was a fake skeleton, and on its head was Andrew's cap.

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!" Margaret screamed in fright.

"MY CAP!" Andrew yelped as he tore it off the skull and put it on his head. "Now they really have crossed the line!"

Before his girlfriend could agree with him, they heard some laughter from behind him as well as some comments being made.

"Good, Margaret. Very good. You too, Andrew."

They turned around and standing outside of the tent were the three culprits behind this scheme. As they continued laughing, Andrew and Margaret were beyond pissed at them. So they decided to take action. Andrew grabbed the fake skeleton off of Hawkeye's bed while Margaret went and grabbed one of the pillows to beat them with. They then stormed over to the swamp rats and they were about to act upon their frustration.

"Where is my tent?" Margaret demanded, glaring at them as she had that pillow in both hands.

"What's the big idea stealing my cap?" Andrew growled, still holding that skeleton. "You three creeps knew that I was going to tell Margaret about his! Never mind the fact that you disobeyed Colonel Potter's orders! You sent me on a goose chase to find it, and then you pull this insensitive prank on my girlfriend!"

"Relax Andrew, we thought it was a practical joke," BJ defended. "So we swiped your cap as part of the prank!"

"And as for your tent Margaret, we pitched it somewhere," Hawkeye admitted shamelessly.

"Grrrrr...You crumbs! You crumbs!" Margaret started hitting them with the pillow, as pillow puffs started coming out of it.

"That was very rude, Pierce," Andrew snarled at him for his inappropriate comment.

"Margaret!" Hawkeye begged her to stop but to no avail.

"Where is my tent!?" Margaret demanded again, louder this time.

"We gave it to a dog," BJ exclaimed. "Now it's a pup tent."

"YOU IDIOT!" She howled, hitting him multiple times with the pillow.

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Andrew sneered. "THAT WAS MARGARET'S TENT YOU DOPES!"

"Ah, don't hit a pillow when it's down!" Charles spoke up before Margaret hit him with the pillow.

"And what about that skeleton that we found in your bed, Pierce? The one who was wearing my cap," Andrew brought up as he glowered at him. "Were you three trying to convince Margaret that I was dead, and was reduced to a skeleton!? That was a low move, you guys. I'm gonna get you three for this..."

With that, Andrew hurled the skeleton in his hands towards the ground, breaking it to pieces. From there, he pulled off one of the bones free and started to use it to wack the swamp rats constantly on the head, complete with Margaret joining him in smacking them with the pillow she had been using already.

"Ah, guys," Hawkeye cried. "I think Andrew here has a serious bone to pick with us!"

"And Margaret needs to take a serious chill pillow," BJ yelped.

"Yes, I have to agree with you gentlemen," Charles agreed while letting out some cries from being hit.

"So? This wouldn't be happening if you didn't steal my tent," Margaret scowled. "Not to mention how you tried to convince me that Andrew was dead."

"Yeah. That was very unacceptable you three," Andrew agreed with fury.

This senseless beating took place for several more minutes, complete with laughter from the three culprits, and snarls from the couple.


Unfortunately, this would prove to be a big mistake as a jeep pulled into the compound and had approached the scene. In the jeep was a Colonel, who judging by his looks, was Colonel Tucker. He had arrived sooner than expected, even though it was still nighttime. They came to a stop when the Colonel got their attention.

"What's going on here?" He asked with a stern tone.

This followed with all five of them dropping the act and looking nervously at him.

"Oh no," Andrew gulped nervously. "I think we're in trouble..."

"Uh...hello," Hawkeye said sheepishly.

"We weren't trying to beat each other up if that's what your wondering," BJ added.

"Like hell, I'm not," Margaret spat before looking towards the Colonel. "These three crumbs stole my tent."

"And they stole my cap so I wouldn't put a stop to them stealing her tent," Andrew backed her up with a combination of nervousness and defensiveness.

This resulted in Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles arguing about which one of them was the crumb, the schmo, and the idiot respectively. Andrew wasn't going to have any of that as he then spoke up.

"ALL THREE OF YOU ARE CRUMBS, SCHMOS AND IDIOTS COMBINED!" Andrew yelled.

"Yeah," Margaret agreed with him. "You did steal my tent from me, and stole Andrew's cap, and made that skeleton look like my boyfriend was dead!"

"You know, you're both right," BJ spoke up. "They just don't make pillows and bones the way they used to."

"Please forgive our antics, sir," Charles apologized. "A bit of harmless fun."

Both Andrew and Margaret tried to say something, but it came out as stutters.

"I take it our, uh, feathers don't tickle you fancy," Hawkeye concluded. "And the bones aren't good enough to chew on."

"Uh, if I may ask, who are you, sir," Andrew asked nervously, having a bad feeling in his gut as to who this guy was. Margaret saw how nervous he was and embraced him, especially since she was growing nervous too.

"I am Colonel Daniel Webster Tucker, 8th Army, Surgeon General's Office here to observe your medical staff in action," the Colonel revealed, getting the five of them to have dread on their faces. "Now, who in the hell are you people?"

"Uh, actually, we're just the medical staff," BJ pointed out. "How are we doing so far?"

"I uh, take it that the Colonel isn't impressed by what he saw, is he," Andrew asked.

"You're damn right I'm not," Tucker barked. "I came here expecting to see a crew of professional and competent medical staff! But instead, all I'm seeing are a bunch of teenagers treating this as a sleepover and having pillow fights with each other."

"With all due respect sir, we were not having a pillow fight," Margaret spoke up before pointing towards Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles. "These three bozos stole my tent, and it got me angry and I hit them with a pillow as a result."

"You can believe her on that," Hawkeye jested. "She's mean with a pillow."

"Please bear with us sir. We are not acting like a group of immature adolescents seeking out merriment as if this was a slumber party." Charles said.

"Right. And you Major," Tucker wasn't pleased as he pointed towards Andrew. "You aren't acting like a sensible doctor with that bone in your hand! What I see is you acting like this is the stone age, and that you are behaving like a primitive Neanderthal!"

"Now hold on sir! There's a good explanation for this! It just so happens that Captain Pierce here had to go to the nearest graveyard, dig up skeletal remains of a dead body, and bring it back to the compound where he put it in his cot in the Swamp," there was a large amount of sarcasm in Andrew's voice that was directed towards Hawkeye, as he defended.

"Yeah. In any case, I want to see your commanding officer immediately," Colonel Tucker commanded. "I hope he at least is a responsible professional."

Now, this got all five of them nervous. They were in a deep hole now since Colonel Tucker saw them acting like immature children.

Oh no. This doesn't look good. Andrew thought dreadfully. How can it get any worse?

Then as if on cue, Colonel Potter was heard hollering angrily by the disturbance.

"What the name of Marco Blessed Polo is going on here!?" Sherman Potter came storming by in his PJs and bathrobe and saw Colonel Tucker for himself.

What took place next was Colonels Potter and Tucker figuring out who each of them were, followed by Tucker berating Potter for having a group of unprofessional medical staff and wondering if there was one sane person in this compound of incompetent dingbats. Then all of a sudden, Klinger comes to the scene, dressed up in a complete army uniform complete with a copy of the Stars and Stripes novel under his arm. Needless to say, Colonel Tucker was pleased with Klinger's straight-up dedication to the army and admits that he's the only normal person in this M*A*S*H unit.

From there, Klinger helped with escorting Tucker's bags to the V.I.P tent, and Colonel Tucker tells Colonel Potter that he'll see him and the medical staff tomorrow. As soon as he was gone, Colonel Potter cast a glare towards the five medical staff members for their childish behavior in front of Colonel Tucker. All five of them knew what he meant and they had to get out of here.

"I am kind of sleepy myself." Hawkeye yawned.

"I think I'll hit the old sackeroo," BJ stated.

"Capital idea." Charles agreed.

"I uh...better get a new canvas for my tent and then get ready for bed," Margaret said hastily.

"I'll give you a hand Margaret," Andrew finished as the five of them started to leave.

"HALT! ABOUT FACE!" Colonel Potter howled for them to stop in their tracks before chastising them. "Oh, you're a peck of pips, all right. Despite my direct orders, you just had to put 'Be stupid' first on your list of things to do today!"

"But sir, I didn't do anything," Andrew cried in defense. "I had nothing to do with this! I swear!"

"I can vouch for Andrew," Margaret came to his defense. "He had no intention of disobeying you."

"And neither did Margaret," Andrew backed her up in return.

"What they are trying to say is that we're very sorry, Colonel." Charles apologized on their behalf.

"I'm not sorry," Margaret chewed the three Swamp rats out. "You're the jackasses who did this!"

"This is all your fault guys," Andrew growled, pointing at the three of them in accusation. "If you three swamp rats didn't bother to pull that prank on Margaret and steal my cap, we wouldn't be in this mess! We wouldn't be in hot water by the Colonel! And we wouldn't be seen as a laughingstock by Colonel Tucker!"

"Yeah! You three should be ashamed of yourselves!" Margaret yelled.

What followed next was a line of argument from all five of them, as things were beginning to escalate. Colonel Potter had to get them to cease this arguing and get to his point.

"SILENCIO!" He roared, getting them to stop immediately. "The senior inspecting officer from the whole Far East medical command comes in here at a full boil so you jokers have to turn up the heat. Guarantees we'll all be wearing his boot prints tomorrow no matter how spiffy we carry on! Thank you all very much!"

Now, this got them all fearful as they couldn't come up with anything to say. Colonel Potter turns around and sees Margaret's tent without the canvas covering it. Needless to say, he was entirely shocked.

"Good grief, Margaret," he started. " Where in the name of Carrie's corset is your tent?!"

"Why don't you ask these three chumps," Andrew hissed while pointing towards Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles. "They were the ones who stole it as part of their prank."

Colonel Potter could only give the three Swamp rats another glare. He decided not to say another word to them.

"Uhhhh...Margaret," Andrew spoke up. "I think I better help you find another canvas to cover your tent since the original is gone..."

"Good idea Andrew," Margaret nodded. "Let's go find one. I believe there is a spare in the supply tent."

The couple went to the supply tent to get a new canvas to cover Margaret's tent while the three pranksters went back into the Swamp. Colonel Potter headed back for his tent, grumbling under his breath as to how things were going to go downhill for them.

"Uhhh, Margaret," Andrew said nervously. "I have this bad feeling that we're going to be in big trouble. I'm worried about what tomorrow will bring, dear..."

"I'm worried too, darling," Margaret told him, bringing him close and putting her left arm on his back to comfort him. "I'll make sure that things will be better, come tomorrow morning."

"Me too," Andrew nodded as he put his right arm on Margaret's back in return. "I fear that things may take a turn for the worse..."

"Same here..."

And so they went to the supply tent to get a new canvas for Margaret's tent, and then worked on getting it to cover Margaret's tent-like it did before. They had no idea how right they were about things getting worse tomorrow.

This was going to be one hell of a terrible experience for everyone...


THE FOLLOWING DAY - AT THE M*A*S*H 4077:

As predicted, things weren't any better the following day. Colonel Tucker still saw the five medical members as unprofessional and incompetent and sees Klinger as the only one who isn't a nutcase. At one point in OR, the sour atmosphere that Tucker had before was dragged in when he was in the OR. And no apologies made was able to ease up the tension one bit.

"Sir, I'm really sorry about what happened last night." Margaret tried to apologize.

"Yeah sir, I'm sorry too," Andrew jumped in with the apologizing. "We really don't want to remain on a bad leg. So we apologize for that."

"As well you should be, both of you Majors." Colonel Tucker didn't sound sympathetic when he said that.

And if that wasn't enough, Colonel Tucker started to show a very sarcastic tone towards how the five of them were performing in OR. It was especially shown when Charles had successfully performed surgery on a patient and saved a man's life. While BJ congratulated him, Tucker was nothing but sarcastic about this. This didn't sit well with the others, and that included Andrew. Even after Colonel Potter vouched for them and referred to them as the real McCoy, Colonel Tucker remained sarcastic about the whole situation.

"Oh, I am so sorry. I should give the good doctors a round of applause for doing their jobs." his voice and clapping reeked of sarcasm all over, which was getting under the 5 medical staff members' skin.

It was starting to become a problem. Andrew, in particular, was growing irritated by this as he could only give Colonel Tucker a stoic glare.

"I don't appreciate your sarcasm and attitude, sir," Andrew deadpanned bitterly.

"Yeah. As I said before, Charles just saved a man's life," BJ added.

They had heard the Colonel mutter under his breath, and it sounded like he was berating them or something.

But the tipping point to all this happened while in Post-Op. Colonel Tucker was looking at one of the patients as he was talking to one of the nurses, who was also a Lieutenant. This is where things started going downhill really fast.

"Lieutenant, is there an order for an I.V. after this one?" Colonel Tucker asked.

"No, sir. But Captain Pierce-" The Lieutenant tried to say, but she was interrupted.

"I'll handle this, Lieutenant. Thank you," BJ stepped in since Hawkeye looked like he was on the verge of breaking the Colonel's jaw. "Can I help, Colonel?"

"Just having a little look-see, Doctor. That's all." Tucker gave him an unemotional response.

"This is my patient," Hawkeye stepped in. "You have any questions, ask me."

"Why, Doctor, you don't have anything to hide, do you?" Tucker questioned with irritation.

"Only my outrage. You know, you really are sanctimonious-" Hawkeye was about to insult him but BJ tried to step in.

"Hawk, no, let me-" BJ was then interrupted by Charles, who decided to voice how fed up he was the Colonel.

"Colonel, I really must voice my resentment concerning your attitude." Charles retorted.

"No, you mustn't. What you really must do is keep your mouth shut." Tucker berated Charles.

"I beg you're par-" Charles found himself cut off by Andrew, who tried to ease the tension.

"Now hold on guys, there's no need to escalate things in Post-Op," Andrew kept himself calm. "Let's try to bury the hatchet and settle this like adults, huh?"

"Adults?! Ha! Your the one to talk Major! Coming from someone who is an inadequate dunce of a surgeon!" Tucker insulted him.

"What," Andrew felt hurt when he said that. "But sir, I..."

"Sir, we all know that you're really just trying to do a very difficult job," Margaret tried to step in for her boyfriend since he trailed off. "But you don't have to say that about Major Peterson..."

"Don't patronize me, Major." Tucker lashed out at her.

"I was trying to support you," Margaret told him, trying to be reasonable about this.

"I hardly need the support of a woman," Tucker huffed. "The army is no place for women anyway! You should go back to the kitchen!"

This got Margaret to gasp as she couldn't speak. She was shocked by that comment he made.

By contrast, the moment that sexist comment was made did Andrew jaw-drop and felt his pupils shrink to the size of peas. He didn't care if this guy was a Colonel or not. He would not allow anyone to make a sexist comment when he's around, especially when it was directed towards his girlfriend.

Feeling his protective instincts kicking into high gear, Andrew furrowed his eyebrows and closed up his jaw.

"Now wait a minute sir! Putting me down is one thing! But I'm not going to stand here and let you talk to my girlfriend like that," Andrew snapped at him, coming to Margaret's defense.

"Why shouldn't I?! I've had it up to here with all you people," Tucker didn't stop there. "All five of you are lousy incompetent medical workers who spend time acting like a couple of jokesters! And I especially can't stand that harlot who is the head nurse!"

This got all of them to gasp in shock and horror. What this Colonel just called Margaret proved to be a big mistake with Andrew around. The major didn't move at all. He felt a growl crawling up his throat as it came out of his mouth. He then glowered at him.

"Call Margaret that word again, Colonel. I mean it," Andrew's voice was icy cold enough to pierce through diamonds.

"Oh, how rude of me," Tucker was sarcastic with how he was speaking. "Let me call her a more appropriate name. How about bimbo?"

Now Andrew was starting to grow furious. What the hell was this Colonel's problem? Was he seriously petty to the point where he holds a simple grudge against them over one small mistake that took place last night? Was this asshole trying to get under his skin? Because it was working, and he was reacting exactly how he felt.

With that, Andrew felt his eyebrows furrow tightly, his hands slowly curled into tight looking fists, he clenched his teeth to the point of grinding it, he was visibly shaking and panting, as if he could only hold in his anger for a little longer, and the gaze in his eyes showed that he was on the verge of erupting. Major Peterson could already picture himself in his thoughts, which showed him pouncing onto this Colonel and then thrashing and punching him all the way to Timbuktu. He was that pissed off.

Meanwhile, the three swamp rats saw this and were feeling rather uneasy at how Andrew was on the verge of letting out his frustration. Even Charles was feeling very uncomfortable with the display before him.

The most shocking part that the doctors noticed was that Margaret wasn't doing anything to stop Andrew. In fact, it's as if she was encouraging her boyfriend to have at it with this Colonel, whom she was also glaring at.

Before things could escalate to the point where it gets bloody in post-op thanks to Andrew beating the Colonel to a pulp, Hawkeye decided to intervene immediately.

"Uh, Colonel, I wonder if we could have a four-letter word with you outside the hospital zone?" Hawkeye suggested.

"Fine. I'm a reasonable man." Tucker went outside, followed by the others.

"No fists, no fists," BJ told him.

"Save your hands, Pierce. Use a rock." Charles made a proper suggestion.

"I really should thrash away at him," Andrew growled, with Margaret right behind him.


As soon as they were outside the building, Hawkeye was the first one to speak while the other four gave the Colonel some sharp glares.

"Tell you what, Colonel," Hawkeye offered. "I'll make a deal with you. We'll stop breaking pillows and bones, and you stop breaking our butts. How about it?"

"I don't make deals," Tucker told him sharply.

"Then how about just acting human?" BJ suggested with agitation.

"Better watch it, Captain." Colonel Tucker warned him.

"Yeah. Be careful, Hunnicutt. It's against protocol to inform a superior officer that he is inferior," Charles snorted. "This man would have to work his way up to inferior."

"Yeah, especially since he feels the need to get under our skin," Andrew didn't hold back with that biting comment.

"Amen to that Andrew," Margaret agreed, crossing her arms as she stood next to Andrew.

"Yeah. Well, get this: I'm gonna shape this place up," Colonel Tucker threatened. "And I can't think of a better way to start than barring all of you from medical service."

Hawkeye let out a sarcastic laugh at that threat. "Golly gee, boys and girls, are we in Dutch."

"The colonel's gonna make us stand in a corner of Korea." BJ joined in.

"And go to bed without supper." Margaret huffed as she rolled her eyes.

"And heaven forbids that we must be banned from attending recess after lunch," Andrew made a sarcastic remark.

"For which, Colonel, I shall be eternally grateful to all of those." Charles finished with his own biting remark.

"Yeah. You people think you're very funny, don't you," Colonel Tucker didn't hold back. "Well, I've had it with you screwballs. As of right now, you're all on 'report'; for gross insubordination, conduct unbecoming officers, and anything else I can think of."

"I can't believe it," Margaret uttered in complete horror.

"Yeah! Next, I suppose you're gonna have us blacklisted from the medical service too!" Andrew howled with venom dripping out of his voice.

"Actually yes. You five are going to be blacklisted too," the Colonel continued. "If I have my way, you'll all be court-martialed. And since I'm the man who makes those decisions, I always get my way. Let me see you laugh that one off, gang."

With that, the Colonel walked away, leaving the five of them in shock and distaste by what he has planned for them. This was outrageous. They were great doctors, or in Margaret's case, a great head nurse. They didn't need this kind of treatment from a Colonel who is too hotheaded and thick-skulled to reason with.

"Gentlemen, and Major Houlihan, I have to say it," Charles commented. "But that Colonel is one arrogant shrewd."

"Winchester, for once, I agree with you," Andrew sighed angrily, not sure what'll be happening to them next...


DOWN AT THE SWAMP - AFTER QUITE SOME TIME HAD PASSED:

In the Swamp, we can see all five medical staff members inside, as the Swamp rats were sitting down, as was Margaret. By contrast, Andrew was shown pacing back and forth furiously. He was too peeved to sit down and relax, not after what they had been through in Post-Op, combined with what this Colonel Tucker threatened to do to them. It looked like he was trying to grove the floor with his pacing.

Hawkeye noticed him pacing and decided to comment on it. "Hey, Andrew? You've been pacing back and forth for the past 20 minutes. By the looks of it, it looks like your trying to make a grove in the Swamp."

"What's your first clue, Pierce," Andrew spat venomously as he didn't stop pacing.

"Look Andrew Peterson, we know how furious you are at Colonel Tucker, but I highly suggest you calm down," whatever Charles had to say next was cut short when Andrew cast the angriest glare he could muster up in his eyes, halting his pacing spree.

"CALM DOWN?! CALM DOWN!?" Andrew boomed, finally let out the anger that was building up. "WINCHESTER! This Colonel Tucker has spent all day insulting us, berating us at what we're doing, saying we are incompetent and insufficient as a medical team, got under our skin, is putting us on report for several things, is planning on blacklisting us from the medical service, MADE A HORRIBLE SEXIST COMMENT TOWARDS MARGARET, AND CALLED HER A HARLOT AND A BIMBO! AND YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!?"

The swamp rats flinched at how his anger grew several octaves with everything he listed off.

"Now Andrew, we are all angry with him for this," Hawkeye tried to reason with him.

"You just don't get it, do you Pierce?!" Andrew howled. "I was barely able to keep my anger bottled up in Post-Op! If I had stayed there any longer, I WOULD HAVE DECKED HIM!"

It was BJ's turn to step up and reason with him as he said. "Andrew, we noticed that. But having you deck him wouldn't have solved anything."

"Oh no?" Andrew then fired a particular question. "How would YOU feel if Colonel Tucker made the EXACT SAME INSULT towards Peg?!"

BJ opened his mouth to say something, but he was unable to, as words never left his mouth. Andrew was right. He wouldn't have let him get away with saying such a horrid and despicable thing about his wife.

Instead, he sighed and shook his head. "You're right Andrew. I would be decking him too if he said that stuff towards Peg. In fact, I would be just as furious as you are right now."

"Exactly," Andrew nodded before growling. "If this wasn't the army, I would take this Tucker and beat him to a pulp..."

Charles then turned to Margaret to ask her a question. "Uh, Margaret? I really don't know if I should be asking this, but aren't you going to say something to calm your boyfriend down?"

"Hell no, I'm not! Why should I? Andrew has every right to be mad at him," Margaret sided with her romantic partner. "And it would serve that Colonel Tucker right too. In fact, I'm just about ready to join my darling boyfriend and land a couple of punches on him too."

"Yeah, they really are two of a kind Charles," Hawkeye remarked.

"They're the perfect match," BJ added.

"Look guys, just know that I'm not mad at any of you," Andrew said, pointing to all four of them. "I'm mad at this Tucker and how our future in the medical field is in jeopardy!"

"Yeah, that reminds me," Hawkeye scoffed. "I still can't believe that he'd do this to us."

"The guy is as hotheaded as a tea kettle," BJ remarked.

"Well, there goes my plans of applying for a job at that Boston Hospital," Charles moaned in a forlorn tone. "Provided that I can do it once this war is over."

"And if this goes through, I'll never be able to work in another M*A*S*H unit again," Margaret sounded like she was on the verge of crying. "My father was proud of me when I became a major and a head nurse. If this happens, I'll be humiliated, and I feel that my dad will never be proud of me again..."

"AND THAT'S WHY WE CAN'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS! We have to keep him from pulling through with this! WE HAVE TO STOP HIM FROM BLACKLISTING US!" Andrew erupted. Having heard Margaret speak in such a sad manner drove him off the edge. "I still want five minutes to pummel this Colonel to a bloody pulp. FIVE. WHOLE. MINUTES! I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE HIM TREAT MY GIRLFRIEND AS IF SHE WAS SOME DIRT!"

"Uhhhh Andrew," Charles spoke carefully. "We all want to beat him up. But we have to remember that he's still a Colonel."

"I DON'T CARE IF HE'S A COLONEL!" Andrew blew his top. "NOBODY TREATS MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THIS AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

He then landed a punch towards a nearby desk, leaving behind a massive dent in its wake. The others needed to get focused on what should be done with Colonel Tucker.

"Look, we all have something against him," Hawkeye spoke up. "We are going to get him for this. But not with violence. In fact, maybe we should give him a taste of what we give to anyone in the 4077."

"What's that suppose to mean, Pierce?" Andrew asked, trying to get himself to calm down as he went right next to Margaret.

"Look, we're already getting busted for insubordination," Pierce made a suggestion. "So why don't we go out in a blaze of glory? Let the crime fit the punishment."

"Oh, you mean to pull a prank on him?" Andrew queried, getting his emotions under control.

"Exactly," Hawkeye nodded. "Beej, are you in?"

"I love it," BJ said. "I'm in."

"Charles?" Hawkeye looked at him.

"Pierce, that is a childish, totally immature, and petulant suggestion," Charles told him honestly. "Therefore, I will be happy to deliver some retribution to this swine."

"Great," Hawkeye then gazed at the head nurse. "Margaret?"

"I'm in too," Margaret nodded. "Let's get that twerp."

"Andrew? Are you going to help us with this one?" Hawkeye hoped that Andrew wouldn't refuse.

Andrew did some thinking for a moment. Considering the situation they were in, he felt that it was the only way to let out all this steam without resorting to violence. After a few minutes, Andrew finally gave his response.

"I would have teamed up with Margaret regardless," Andrew told him. "But given the situation that we're in, I will be able to team up with you three for this one."

"Excellent," Hawkeye was happy that all four of them would be in on the gag. "Now, here's how it will go. He will be leaving the mess tent with Colonel Potter in about ten minutes, after eating dinner. From there, we'll invite him to the Officer's Club to sit at one of the round tables. Then when he asks for a beer, we'll dump him with a big surprise."

"Wow. That's impressive," Andrew complimented.

"Yeah, we'll just need to make sure that he sits in that one table," Pierce told him.

"Maybe I should get him to sit at that particular table," Andrew volunteered. "I'll probably say 'Hey Colonel Tucker, I want you to sit at this table. Just to show you that there are no hard feelings about what you said to us earlier and that it's all water under the bridge after what you called Margaret.' That's what I would say to him at least."

"Perfect. That'll work," BJ commented. "Just be sure not to deck him, okay Andrew?"

"I'll try not to," Andrew sighed.

"And do try to keep him in one piece," Charles suggested. "We'd all want to get in on the fun."

"Alright, I'll make sure of that," Andrew told him. "Now let's get that chump."

"Right behind you, darling," Margaret said. "Have you calmed down a bit?"

"Kinda. Yeah," Andrew said shamefully. "I sorta blew my top there, dear."

"Don't worry about that honey. You have every reason to be angry at him," she told him. "To be honest, I found it kinda hot the way you wanted to beat him to a pulp after what he said about me."

"Well, you know you are my girlfriend," Andrew said bashfully. "And I couldn't have anyone do that to you."

"I know sweetie," Margaret went up and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Just know that I love you, Andrew."

"And I love you too Margaret," Andrew said graciously. "So guys, let's get this over with."

The others didn't argue with that, as the five of them left to get this new prank underway in the Officer's Club, with the target this time being Colonel Tucker, who pushed all 5 of them towards this breaking point...


LATER THAT NIGHT - AT THE OFFICER'S CLUB:

Just as they planned, both Colonel Potter and Colonel Tucker were escorted to the Officer's Club by Andrew, and he made sure to put them at a specific table. The group had to get Rizzo to vacate from the table since they needed to use it for their beer prank. From there, when Tucker asked for a beer towards Igor, Hawkeye had Colonel Potter come over to the counter where the other four were standing, just so he wouldn't get caught in the crossfire.

By the time Igor came back with a shot of whiskey, Tucker was a little ticked off by this.

"I ordered a shot and a beer! Where's my beer?" Tucker demanded in a barking manner.

"Beer's on you, Colonel," Hawkeye called out before pulling the rope.

"BEERS AWAY!" Andrew hollered right then and there.

The next thing he knew, Colonel Tucker got dosed by a giant barrel of beer, getting him soaking wet. It was then all five of them laughed at how they got him.

"Bull's-eye, Pierce," Charles complimented. "Excellent marksmanship."

"Yeah," Andrew agreed while laughing. "I must admit, this is a far better method of letting off some steam than just resorting to violence!"

"You know it, darling," Margaret laughed while hugging him.

"Now that's what I call a splash finish," BJ remarked.

"I couldn't have said it better Beej," Hawkeye told him.

And so the five of them continued to laugh. Colonel Potter, on the other hand, wasn't too pleased by what they just did.

"You jackasses!" Colonel Potter lashed out at them. "Pierce, you imbecile!"

"Did you know you squish when you walk?" Colonel Tucker spoke up. "Nobody does this to Daniel Webster Tuck-"

He cut himself off when he felt something wrong with himself. The others figured out what was wrong, with Sherman Potter being the first to notice; he was having a heart attack.

The five medical staff members went to work with getting him on the floor, with Potter keeping Hawkeye away, claiming he's done enough damage. All while a simple thought ran through Andrew's head.

Oh no...I think we went too far... Andrew was pretty angry with Colonel Tucker to the point where he wanted to beat him up. But he never asked for this.

After a few moments, Colonel Tucker weakly called out to Hawkeye, who wanted to speak with him. This got Hawkeye's attention as he went over to find out what he wants.

"Pierce," Tucker muttered weakly.

"What is it? I can't hear you," Hawkeye queried.

"Is that you, Pierce?" The Colonel asked.

"Yeah. What is it?"

"Just one thing," what he said next shocked all five of them. "April Fool."

"What?!" All five of them heard that and yelled in unison.

It was then Tucker sat up and started laughing, and Colonel Potter joined in on the laughing too, as they made the reveal to this whole sham.

"I gotcha, Pierce! I got all of you April fools," Potter chuckled as he then pointed to BJ, Charles, Margaret, and Andrew. "I got you, got you, got you, got you. I even got that hairy cuckoo. If he thinks he's got his Section Eight, he's really crazy!"

"Hairy cuckoo?" Andrew asked. "Do you mean Klinger?"

"That's the only hairy cuckoo at the 4077," Potter told him.

"You mean to tell me Klinger tried to pull a new Section 8 stunt," Andrew queried as Potter nodded his head. "Wow! It's been a long time since Klinger did something like that!"

"And believe me, he's still not going to get it," Potter admitted through a chuckle.

Sherman Potter then proceeded to tell the gang about how he and Tucker had planned this whole charade out weeks ago, as well as knowing how to convince all five of them to band together to try to pull this prank on him, seeing that Tucker gets under their skin. They were fooled for sure.

"Uh, let me get this straight so I'm not losing my mind," Andrew started, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You mean to tell me that everything that happened today was a way of getting us to try to pull this prank on you, only for you to have your own prank to counter this one? So that means everything that you said to us earlier wasn't true? The part about being incompetent medical experts? Us being put on report and getting blacklisted from the medical service? All the insults that we received? And how you called my girlfriend a...well, you-know-what? You meant none of that?"

Both of them shook their heads at all of the stuff that he listed out.

"Son, if anyone called Margaret those two horrible words, they would be answering to me, and then they'd get bucked in the behind by Sophie," Colonel Potter assured him.

What Andrew felt next was sweet relief. He was glad that none of that was true.

"I can't believe this!" Margaret expressed shock and relief.

"And to think that I almost blew my top off over nothing," Andrew shook his head. "You two sure made a fool out of me. I was actually convinced that this was the real deal."

"Don't feel too bad Andrew," Colonel Potter told him lightly. "After all, I knew that if Dan pushed you five hard enough, you'd pull a stupid trick like this. You went for it like a school of hungry carp."

"That's the best way to put it, sir," Andrew found himself laughing.

"I agree with Andrew," Margaret agreed while laughing. "The joke was on us."

"I feel the perfect fool," BJ remarked.

"Fellow jokers, we are in the presence of greatness," Hawkeye declared before they all gave him a round of applause.

"We have been royally had by these two," Charles admitted.

All of them shared a round of laughs as they decided to sit at the counter to enjoy some drinks...


The next several minutes that were spent involved both Colonels Potter and Tucker revealing to the gang how they've been doing this for ages, and they've pulled this kind of thing for at least three wars. Based on how they explained it, they were quite a duo back in the heyday. Needless to say, the gang was kinda impressed.

Suddenly, their discussion was interrupted when Klinger came storming into the Officer's Club. Simply put, he was dressed up as Cleopatra, for his latest Section 8 attempt. He then called out to Colonel Tucker.

"Come on, Colonel," Klinger demanded. "I want to get home to see my mummy."

Once the group got a look at this, they all started to laugh at his latest attempt.

"What's so funny?" Klinger asked them in confusion.

"Ha ha ha, oh Klinger," Andrew laughed, as his girlfriend was right next to him. "Did you really think that this latest Section 8 attempt would work?"

"And what's that suppose to mean," Klinger queried.

"It means this, you can forget about that discharge," Potter told him. "This was an April Fools prank."

"It was," Klinger didn't want to believe it.

"That's right," Andrew smirked while chuckling.

Klinger felt some severe shock overcome him, as he then fell onto the ground, onto his back, where he fainted.

"Is he going to be okay," Colonel Tucker queried.

"Oh he'll be fine," Potter told him. "He's just upset that he didn't get out of the army."

"Yeah. He'll get over it," Andrew told him.

"Just like he did with all his other Section 8 schemes," Margaret added.

"That dope doesn't have a chance of getting out of here, as much as I respect his reason for getting out of this hell hole," Charles retorted.

"Oh come on now Charles," Hawkeye huffed. "Admit it. You enjoyed pulling those pranks just like Beej and I have."

"Touche," Charles said sheepishly.

"Yeah," BJ commented. "This was a surprise that none of us were expecting."

"No kidding there Hunnicutt," Andrew said. "I'm relieved that nothing bad happened to us after all."

"You can say that again, darling," Margaret got up close to his face. "And speaking of which, I'd like to reward you for how you've been siding with me this entire time."

"You do," Andrew smirked, knowing exactly what she was talking about just by staring at her hot lips. "Oh yes. I love you dollface."

"And I love you too, stud." Margaret grabbed his face, pulled it towards her face and their lips touched as a result.

They were shown kissing for a long time. While Colonel Tucker was surprised by this, the others were familiar with this by this point.

"Uh, Sherman? Do they always kiss like that?" Colonel Tucker questioned.

"Long as I've known they've been Dan," Colonel Potter shrugged his shoulder. "Let's just say that they are happy whenever they do it. And that's why I allow it."

"Well if you say so Sherm," Colonel Tucker shrugged.

The others remained where they were currently, as the night went on. The five medical staff were glad that this whole thing was just an April Fools prank and not the real deal. Now they could be relieved that it was over.

Things weren't going to fall apart in the M*A*S*H 4077 anytime soon, or ever for that matter...


END OF CHAPTER 27...

Whew! This is undoubtedly the most ambitious chapter that I've written for this story to date. Still, I think I did a good job of handling this chapter. I do hope you all enjoyed it too even with its length.

Now, this chapter best displays how loyal and dedicated Andrew is towards Margaret. Here are the three examples:

He is willing to help Margaret pull those pranks against the other swamp rats to get back at them.

He refuses to take part in pranking Margaret and would have told her about it had he not lost his cap.

He gets furious with Colonel Tucker when he makes that sexist comment towards Margaret and is outraged when he calls her harlot and bimbo.

Anyway, for the next chapter, it's payday, and in addition to that, it's another field day with exercising activities for two people to take part in, Andrew learns that Margaret has a sister who's a captain, and some other stuff will take place. How will this go? Find out next time!

For now, if you want to leave a review, please feel free to do so. Only leave constructive criticism if you are nice about it. And positive reviews are welcome at any time.

Otherwise, that's all I have here. So until next time, do take care of yourselves. And on that note, goodbye for now readers! Thanks for reading again people!