~ Chapter 41 ~
Alex propped himself up on one elbow and stared at the woman who was still sleeping peacefully beside him. How did she do it? Things had become so heated between them the night before that he'd felt the need to retreat to the bathroom for a very cold shower. By the time he'd returned to bed, she'd been snoring softly, a contented smile on her beautiful face.
They were playing with fire, and he knew it. As much as he'd hated being under John's scrutiny while the latter was living in the penthouse, his absence made it exponentially harder for Alex to rein in his desires where Marlena was concerned. If Frank had agreed to be their guest, he could've acted as a chaperone, but Alex's old friend knew how deeply Alex and Marlena's feelings ran, and he'd not wanted to intrude on the first chance they'd had to be alone in years.
As distasteful as the idea was, he might well have to move back into the spare bedroom. After all, he didn't want to be the one responsible for losing control and, given the circumstances, the risk of that happening was very real. Even wrapped in her flannel pyjamas, he found her almost impossible to resist. Reaching out, he ran a finger through her long, blonde hair. Her eyes opened and, the instant they locked on him, they sparkled with joy.
"Hey there, handsome."
"Hey yourself, gorgeous."
He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. When she tried to deepen it, he pulled away, causing her to whimper in protest.
"What's wrong?"
He cursed himself for being the cause of the hurt expression she currently bore.
"I'm sorry. I just can't handle another cold shower this morning."
She found his blunt answer refreshing, if disappointing. One of the aspects of their relationship that she valued the most was his honesty, and his willingness to discuss what he could with her as openly as possible.
Shifting so that she could look into his eyes, she grimaced at the knowledge that the regret radiating from them precisely mirrored her own. Despite her reluctance, there was no getting around it. They had to talk about the situation, and determine how they were going to handle it.
"We can't keep going like this, can we?"
"No, we can't. I think that's becoming increasingly obvious."
"You're not thinking of moving out, are you?" Her voice was edged with panic.
"And give up all the opportunities I have to tease you?"
He shot a wicked grin her way, and she couldn't help but chuckle. Within seconds, however, solemnity returned.
"I couldn't possibly leave you just when we've found each other again. Not a chance."
Her sigh of relief was audible.
"Do you think we should try to convince Frank to stay here?"
"It would probably help, but I really don't want to share you, not even with Frank. We've missed so much time together and, while I know we can never get that back, I want to start making new memories with you, and building the life that we always dreamed of."
She caressed his jaw as she responded.
"I want that too. More than anything."
"In order for us to really be together, you have to get your memory back," he reminded her.
"I know, and I wish I could speed it up. At this point, I don't care if I ever remember my time in Salem, but I desperately want to remember every bit of our life, and what happened after we were ripped apart."
Although it delighted him to hear that she was so intent on retrieving their memories, if his training had taught him nothing else, it was that she would never be whole unless she remembered everything – including her other loves. Reluctantly, he granted her the benefit of his expertise.
"As painful as this is for me to admit, you have to be open to retrieving all of your memories. You can't be selective about it. I'll rejoice right alongside you if you manage to recall our relationship – in its many facets – but the job won't be done. We can't simply go back to where we started and bypass the rest. You'd only be half a person that way, and I want all of you – the good, the bad…"
"Don't you dare say the ugly."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he assured her, his face the picture of wide-eyed innocence.
"You were going to! I can tell just by looking at you."
He offered up a devilish grin as he reached out to stroke her hair.
"You're right, I was. But I didn't mean it in the way you're thinking. You are the most beautiful woman in the world to me. There's a lot that's ugly in your past, though, and we can't move forward until you can remember it, and deal with it."
"This is so frustrating! I wish I could just snap my fingers, and I'd be cured."
"If it was that easy, high-priced experts like me would be out of business," he laughed.
She couldn't help but laugh with him. He'd diffused the tension she was feeling, as he always did. He took her hand in his before continuing.
"You are making progress with Frank. We've seen that. I'm certain it's only a matter of time until you make a full recovery." He paused, mentally weighing his next words. "Even after you regain your memories, there's still another large hurdle for us to overcome."
She eyed him quizzically.
"I mentioned it last night. You didn't want to talk about it then, but we can't avoid the subject forever."
"Oh. You mean my marriage to John."
"That's exactly what I mean."
"I'll get a divorce." Her tone was dismissive.
"Uh, I don't think it's going to be that simple. John still loves you. He's not just going to throw in the towel."
"He can't stop me from divorcing him."
"No, he can't. But he can make it an incredibly acrimonious and drawn-out process. He could conceivably tie the proceedings up in court for years."
"If he loves me as much as he says he does, shouldn't he want what makes me happy?"
"Not if what makes you happy is leaving him for your therapist. First of all, John is hardly my biggest fan. Secondly, I wouldn't give you up to another man. I'd fight tooth and nail to keep you. There's no reason to expect John to behave any differently."
"Unless…"
He could sense the wheels turning in her pretty head, and his curiosity got the best of him.
"Unless what?"
"Unless we can redirect John's affections."
"I'm not following."
"John might be more amenable to a divorce if he had someone of his own to turn to. Someone to love."
"You can't force love on someone. I know you've forgotten your psychiatric training, but you must realize that."
"Maybe not, but…" She rose from the bed and began pacing the room, the restless movement seeming to stimulate her thought processes.
"I want a divorce. I want John to agree to it, which he won't until I have my memory back. I get that. But what if, while I'm working on retrieving my past, he… starts to fall for someone else. Then, when the time is right, he'll sign the papers, because he'll want to be free as much as I do."
He stared at her, slack jawed. Although he was familiar with her devious side, he'd never seen it quite so blatantly put into action.
"What are you cooking up in that fertile brain of yours?"
"Nothing sinister. I just happen to know that there's a woman right here in Salem who's wild about John."
"You mean Kate."
"Who else? I picked up on it that night when he was trying to make me jealous. The way she looked at him while they were dancing… It might have been a ploy to him, but it wasn't to her. She has real feelings for him. Plus, he's staying with her temporarily. How perfect is that?"
"Okay, so you won't have to twist her arm, and their proximity works in your favour, but beyond that, how can you get John to fall for her?"
"How tough could it be? They were engaged. Deep down, he must still care for her. So, I just have to find a way to trigger those emotions. And it's not as if Kate will stand in my way. Oh, sure, she talks a good game, offering him sympathy about our separation, but she'd be thrilled if we never got back together."
"I don't disagree with you there, but I'm guessing that she's been trying, in various subtle ways, to win him over for a while – apparently, without success."
"I have to let her know that the field is open, without coming right out and saying it. Maybe then she'd push a little harder, take a few more chances…"
Their conversation was interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. Marlena walked over to answer it.
"I'm going to take a shower," Alex mouthed quietly.
She nodded at him in acknowledgment, then picked up the receiver.
"Hello."
"Hello. I'd like to speak to Dr. Alex North, please."
Marlena motioned to Alex to let him know the call was for him.
"Who may I say is calling?"
"I'm Dr. Sadick, from the American Psychiatric Association."
"It's a Dr. Sadick from the APA," she whispered, as she handed him the phone.
"Good morning, Dr. Sadick. What can I do for you?"
"Dr. North, your presence is required at our offices in Washington – immediately."
"May I ask why?"
"I regret to inform you that two misconduct complaints have been filed against you this morning. You are obliged to appear before an Ethics Officer to face the charges."
