~ Chapter 44 ~

Observing carefully to gauge Marlena's reaction, Kate thought she detected the merest hint of a smile on her rival's face. It vanished as swiftly as it had come, and Kate questioned whether it had been there at all. The woman had just been served with divorce papers. Surely, she wouldn't be happy about that. It made no sense. Unless… The wheels in Kate's head began to spin. Marlena had just told her that she hoped John would move on. The previous evening, she and John had spied Marlena and Alex at the fair, looking extremely cozy together. If her suspicions were correct and there was something going on between the two of them, it would certainly explain Marlena's peculiar and decidedly muted response to the possibility that John would soon be her ex-husband. Still, speculation was useless. Kate needed facts, not conjecture. Offering Marlena a sympathetic look, Kate placed a hand lightly on the other woman's shoulder.

"Marlena? Are you all right?"

Marlena remained silent as she continued to skim the legal documents. The waiting was excruciating for Kate, who opted to fill the void with words.

"Can I get you anything? Water? Tea? Something stronger?"

Finally, Marlena glanced up.

"A glass of water would be nice. Thanks."

As Kate headed to the kitchen to fulfill Marlena's request, the latter examined the papers more closely. There was no mistaking their purpose. John was asking her for a divorce. Wrinkles creased her forehead as she pondered this unexpected development. John still loved her – she was certain of that. He'd shown no inclination that he was ready to let her go. And yet, she currently held undeniable proof that he no longer wished to be married to her. The evidence was there, in black and white, but the pieces simply didn't add up.

Without warning, her eyes lost their focus, and she was transported back in time. Images flashed before her in an unending stream.

She was on a pier, running into John's arms, hugging and kissing him, overjoyed at their reunion… Walking down the aisle towards John… John rescuing her from Orpheus… Making love to John on an airplane… John delivering Belle... Divulging the truth of Belle's paternity to John… Being in a dungeon at Maison Blanche… John attempting an exorcism while she was possessed… John rescuing her from the DiMera secret room… John proposing… Marrying John a second time…

"Oh, my word," Marlena whispered, overwhelmed by all that she'd just recalled.

She was entirely unaware that tears were flowing down her cheeks. Kate nearly dropped the glass she was carrying as she caught a glimpse of Marlena's stricken expression.

The fact that John has filed for divorce must have finally sunk in. So much for wanting him to move on.

Bracing herself for the confirmation she assumed was coming, and struggling to keep her bitterness at bay, Kate eased herself onto the sofa, and offered Marlena a tissue.

"I can see how distressed you are. I know we're not the closest of friends, but do you want to talk?"

"What?"

It took Marlena a moment to focus on the petite brunette at her side. Once she did, she accepted the tissue gratefully.

"Thanks. I... I don't know what's come over me... This shouldn't be making me sad."

"John just asked you for a divorce, and you're upset. It's perfectly understandable."

"Oh, no. You've got it all wrong. That's not why I'm crying."

"I'm confused, then. What's made you so emotional?"

"I remember..."

Marlena paused, irrationally worried that, if she put what had just happened into words, the memories would somehow disappear again.

"What do you remember?" Kate prompted.

"My life... with John..."

Kate couldn't hide her sharp intake of breath. This was even worse than she'd feared. There was no way Marlena would be signing the divorce papers now. Silently, Kate urged herself to remain calm.

"Is it like before? Little snippets of your past flashing before you?"

"No, not at all," Marlena murmured, a tone of amazement in her voice. "It was almost like a home movie, with John and I as the featured players."

Kate's shoulders sagged. She'd been close – so very close – to getting exactly what she wanted. Why did Marlena have to ruin everything by remembering?

"I can't believe how much has come back to me. I guess these divorce papers gave me the shock I needed to jolt my memory."

Kate mentally kicked herself. This was hardly the result she'd been aiming for when she'd urged John to file for divorce, or when she'd ever so gently twisted Jeff's arm to make sure the papers were actually filed and delivered. This scheme was definitely coming back to bite her, and she was distraught. John, on the other hand, would be thrilled. Her heart sank at the prospect.

As Kate lamented her failed plot, Marlena contemplated her next move. Despite all the tender moments she could now recall sharing with John, her love for him hadn't returned in tandem with the memories. The antagonism she'd been feeling towards him had evaporated, replaced by a sense of warmth and caring. She could even understand why he'd been fighting so hard to hang on to what they had, and why it was so important to him. Clearly, their relationship had been deep and meaningful. Still, she didn't want him. She wanted Alex.

At the thought of her beloved, she reached for her phone. Eager to share her breakthrough with him, she was about to dial when she realized that he was no doubt mired in his meeting with Dr. Sadick. Interrupting him in the middle of his command performance would definitely not be helpful. In fact, she expected that he would be out of touch for the duration. Her fingers hovered over the screen as she searched her mind for a suitable confidant. Of course! The choice was clear as she visualized the tall, white-haired Father Frank Kelly. She could give him a heads up before he came for their afternoon session.

Once again, Marlena hesitated, suddenly all too aware of the woman sitting beside her. Kate still believed that Alex was her therapist, and she saw no reason to disclose his change in status to someone she hoped could be useful to her, but that she didn't fully trust. Clutching her phone, she rose from the sofa.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to make a call."

Kate nodded her acknowledgment, and watched as Marlena retreated to the opposite end of the room. Making sure that she was out of earshot, Marlena dialled Frank's number. She kept her voice low as she spoke, and Kate quickly gave up trying to overhear what was being said. If Marlena was telling John all about her newfound memories, Kate would know it soon enough.

"So, I'll see you at 1:30?"

Smiling at the response she received, Marlena disconnected the call, while Kate checked her watch. It was almost 1:00.

"Since John will be here soon, I should be going," she declared matter-of-factly.

"Why would you think John is coming over?" Marlena appeared genuinely perplexed.

"You've remembered your past. Surely you're going to share the good news with him."

"Oh. Uh, yes… I will… sometime soon."

But not in about half an hour. If that wasn't John she was talking to, who could it be?

Kate almost slapped herself, the answer was so obvious. Marlena had called her therapist, and Alex was about to come running. So much for their budding romance. What she wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall when Marlena informed Alex that she'd experienced total recall because John had served her with divorce papers. She wondered if the renowned doctor would be as devastated as she was at the idea of Marlena and John's forthcoming reunion. Well, there was nothing to be done about it now. She'd gambled and lost, and she wasn't one to wallow in self-pity. She'd find a way to dust herself off, and carry on. There'd be no escaping the pain, though.

She'd been lost in her thoughts for so long that she failed to realize Marlena had been eyeing her for several seconds.

"Kate, are you alright? You seem rather pale."

Shaking her head to clear it, Kate attempted to hide her anguish.

"I'm fine. Just a little lightheaded."

"Have some fruit, then," Marlena suggested, holding out the plate.

"Thank you."

Kate picked up a wedge of melon and nibbled it, grateful for the distraction it provided. Meanwhile, Marlena continued to stare surreptitiously at her guest, in an effort to decipher the latter's reaction – which was hardly the effusive one she'd expected. Everyone had been pushing her towards this moment and now, after months of amnesia, she'd recovered a flood of memories. It was the first step on her path to being whole. The first step to being herself again. The first step on her way back to Alex…

All of a sudden, comprehension dawned. Kate was afraid – terrified, even – that she was going to reconcile with John. Mulling this piece of information over, Marlena attempted to decide how she was going to handle the situation, and quickly concluded that she could leave well enough alone. John was living with Kate, so she'd soon find out that Marlena had no intention of resuming her marriage. Until then, the secret was hers to keep. For now, it was time for Marlena to usher Kate out, so that she could prepare for her appointment with Frank.

"I don't mean to be rude," she began, as she cleared her throat to get Kate's attention.

"Pardon me, Marlena?"

"I'm glad that you were able to come over, and I did enjoy our little chat, but I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave."

"Oh, right. Someone is coming to see you soon."

Kate left the words hanging in the air, on the off chance that Marlena might give away the identity of the person she was about to meet. Refusing to rise to the bait, Marlena simply smiled, and headed towards the door. Realizing she was being dismissed, albeit in the politest of fashions, Kate followed her hostess to the foyer.

"This was… interesting," she admitted.

"I agree. By the way, thank you for being so supportive after that delivery. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Marlena. We were friends, once upon a time. I'd like it if we could be again."

"The day may come," Marlena responded noncommittally.

"I hope it does."

Taking her coat from Marlena's outstretched hand, Kate buttoned and belted it. Reaching for her purse, she was about to exit when Marlena stopped her.

"Kate."

"Yes?"

"Please promise that you won't mention any of this to John. He needs to hear it from me."

"How long do you plan on keeping him in the dark?" Kate's tone bordered on the accusatory.

"No longer than necessary."

"Why not tell him now?"

"I have to wrap my mind around all of this first. So much has happened at once – the return of my memories, being served with divorce papers… It's overwhelming. I just need a day or so to process everything. Can you grant me that?"

"I don't like keeping things from John," Kate demurred.

"But it wouldn't be the first time, would it?" Marlena countered.

Kate flushed, recognizing the truth in Marlena's words.

"You say you'd like to be my friend again. Well, this would be a step in the right direction."

Hmm… using my own words against me. Maybe she's not as saintly as everyone believes.

Kate chuckled inwardly. Extending her hand, she smiled when Marlena gripped it firmly.

"Do we have a deal?"

"We do. You can count on me to keep my end of it. Goodbye, Marlena."

"Goodbye, Kate."

Closing the door behind the dark-haired woman, Marlena congratulated herself. While the get-together hadn't gone as expected, she felt certain she'd accomplished her goal. Before long, Kate should feel secure enough to make increasingly overt moves to regain John's love. She, meanwhile, would be free to focus on retrieving her memories of Alex, and on reclaiming the life they once shared.

Singing softly to herself, Marlena headed for the kitchen. Time to brew a fresh pot of tea for Frank's arrival. With so much to tell him about, she couldn't wait for their session to begin.