This chapter is dedicated to auraarzadon07! I really appreciate everyone's reviews and questions - and thank you all so much for reading and following my stories.


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. PLEASE REVIEW MY CHAPTERS! I will take advice and suggestions from my readers while continuing the story.

Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis


"Look, Gai - I've gotta get back to Naru and my work at the Tower by 2100." Cue the Taijutsu master's shouts of his youthful flames, even as Gai continued to sob. Kakashi sighed and rubbed his head. "Why don't we practice, ne? You'll be going over to meet us at Lee and Sakura's tomorrow at 1800 hours," Kakashi told the green-clad man. "I need to be sure you aren't going to call her 'Naruto', or particularly 'Naruto-kun': anything like that. Also, I must remind you that no one can know for now about her at all, for Naru's safety, ne?" Gai nodded his head eagerly, once again blowing his nose. The rivals spent the rest of their time together practicing greetings, "youthful phrases," and reminiscing more on what had happened between Kakashi and Naru since he brought her home from the Memorial Stone. By the time he left to leave for the Tower, he had placed Gai into his bed because the green-clad man was so exhausted from crying, and realized that only silence was coming from the Haruno/Rock residence where they'd had a similar conversation. "Success."


Kakashi walked back to the Hokage Tower, noticing that only those ANBU who were supposed to remain outside as guards were actually present, which gave him hope. For nearly the past week, Naru had been trying to cook some kind of eggplant dish for him and had been failing miserably. The smell in the Tower - not to mention the taste-testing he had been made to suffer - had finally driven his ANBU guards completely out last night. It also was leading him to begin to gag at the thought of eggplant, his very favorite food.

It was easy for the blonde to figure out what Kakashi liked to eat best, and so she was going to bring an eggplant soup or stew to the double date they'd scheduled at Sakura's place, come hell or high water. Unfortunately, her cooking suffered a bit. Kakashi had been forced to sit in the Tower's burnt kitchen with extra masks on after her first dangerous attempt at making something, and he'd visibly pouted under his masks at the horrible things she did to his precious eggplants. She did make him cry once - or tear up, rather, (alright: maybe both) - on her third attempt when she managed to not completely burn the vegetable but added so much spice that he thought his life would end. There was just not enough water or even ice cream in the world to make the burning in his mouth and throat abate.

Things had gotten so bad between the smell and the smoke that he had an uprising from his ANBU. The Hokage might really like the woman creating destruction in the main kitchen, but the ANBU by this time did not! Approaching the door and seeing his entire force standing outside that day, the Hatake feared he had a rebellion. Fortunately, he was only threatened that if they weren't all allowed outside during their shifts, they would strike. Of course, theirs was a military dictatorship and so his little animal-masked kohais had only placed a list of demands on his door; they were all too smart to attempt to voice their anger directly to their Hokage. Kakashi had dusted the list for fingerprints but could proudly say that the person that placed the notice had apparently used new gloves. He or she had also forgone leaving a chakra imprint of any kind. He was pleased that they'd used skills befitting their station, and somewhat amused by the list and their behavior. He was a former ANBU after all; he considered himself one of them.

Not that he didn't hear their complaints or have those of his own. Kakashi remembered clearly two days before hearing Beetle's harsh words. "We can no longer bring Bentos to work. Why? Because she has turned our kitchen and break room into torture chambers for those entering."

Butterfly countered. "Come on now, that's harsh - well, just a little." Kakashi had been behind then and grimaced at the conversation. "You know, Hokage-sama must really like this woman to allow this to go on." At that point, Kakashi grasped the pair's shoulders and gave them a friendly shake. "Hokage-sama! We were just talking about…"

"I heard, Butterfly, and don't feel bad: we're in this together," the Hokage replied with a smile under his mask. Kakashi could see the scowl coming from his Beetle operative, through his mask, even with Beetle's sunglasses behind it.

"I was thinking maybe I could help her?" Butterfly offered kindly. "I mean, you know with my family's… Well, you know." Kakashi did know, and also knew that he stopped speaking before identifying himself as an Akamichi. Well, that wasn't entirely true. After all, Choji-kun was a really big guy, like the rest of the members of his family that owned so many restaurants throughout the Elemental Nations now, although most were still in the Land of Fire. In fact, many of his ANBU were identifiable despite their masks. He had probably been the same since no one else he knew of had such striking silver hair that just wouldn't obey his will to hide it under his mask.

"Maa, tell you what, Butterfly - I'll talk to her about it," Kakashi stated. Both men's shoulders dropped as some of the tension left their frames. "I know she wants to do this on her own, but still… I think you could be right." The two ANBU thanked him as he walked away. He didn't miss the last part of their conversation, though, thanks to his enhanced hearing.

"Hokage-sama must really care for this woman. Why? He is putting up with countless eggplants that die in service to her without ever reaching him."

Butterfly laughed at that. "If she's important to him, surely we'll get to meet her soon, ne?"

Kakashi had grit his teeth, grimacing at that. Tonight was date night and although Naru was incredibly excited, Kakashi was terribly worried. How he would get Naru quietly back into society depended in part on how things went this evening. With Gai and Lee: dear Kami-sama! What had he been thinking?! He made his way upstairs.

Something actually smells… good? The rather enticing smell coming from Kakashi's office hovered just over the rank ones that had seemed to settle into the pores of the building over the last few days, but the Hatake could still make it out. As he reached his office, he told himself to not get too excited. Someone else could have braved the kitchen after all this time and decided to make something for him or herself after all.

Entering, the smell filled his thrice masked nose. It was something that at least smelled good, and there sat Naru on his desk with a smile. "I think I did okay this time, Kashi." She was looking down and blushing as Kakashi walked up and gave her a gentle kiss. "Would you mind trying again?!"

It was so hard to get the word 'yes' out, but she was just so adorable and hopeful as she waited for his answer. He sighed, "I can't wait!" Oh yes I can! Please be edible this time! Naru moved to the other side of his desk and placed a spoon into a red serving dish. She offered it up to him after blowing on it cutely. He lowered his masks as he took fate into his hands. "It's good! I mean, really Naru: I'm telling the truth this time; it's really good!"

Naru's look of happiness let up at that "telling the truth this time" part, but she was overjoyed that he liked her cooking nonetheless. It was a simple eggplant soup and she hoped that it would be appropriate for whatever else Sakura-chan was going out of her way to make for them tonight. She almost couldn't believe that she'd finally meet Gai-san and Lee-kun in only a few hours; it was like a dream come true! "Kashi, can you help me with something kinda embarrassing?"

"Embarrassing, ne? What can I do for you, my sweet princess?" Kakashi asked, kissing her hand.

Naru scoffed. I'm about as much of a princess as these eggplants... The man's such a sweet-talker. That thought brought a bunch of images to her mind. She watched them as if they were playing fast-forward in a film until Kakashi's voice brought her out of thoughts.

"You okay, hime?"

"Yeah! Of course," she lied, looking away from him. "Ano, I was wondering if you knew if maybe we can heat this up later? And what I should do with the soup now?" This was embarrassing. "Or do I have to make it again just before we go to Sakura-chan's?"

"No!" Kakashi quickly replied. No idea of what she'll turn out if or when she tried again... Plus, "We can put it in the fridge for now, then heat it up just before we take off. Usually, dishes like this are even better when they're reheated." Naru looked quite relieved at that. "One more bite please?" She bobbed her head as he realized that he'd never seen Naru smile at him more beautifully.

.


Naru wouldn't allow him to be late. He could only imagine Gai's reaction at being on time, and it wasn't a pretty thought. Approaching their apartment complex, Kakashi took a few moments to point some things out to his date. "I used to live on the fourth floor, there," he pointed. "Gai used to live next door to me - only for a year, though, because we all moved into this complex after the attack…" Naru gave him a worried look that showed her confusion at the thought. "Maa, that's been a long time ago. Anyway, I forced Gai to move downstairs after the… injury he sustained so he's on the ground floor now," he said again pointing towards the far end of the building. He'd almost said "war," but didn't want to ruin this evening with a talk about that. "He didn't want to move, but we took all his stuff out of his old apartment anyway and put it in the new one. He was pretty moved… Well, you'll probably see tonight what happens when Gai-kun's emotional. Just prepare yourself, ne?"

Kakashi knocked on a door across from the building he'd just been telling her about, as Naru wondered how she was supposed to prepare herself - and why exactly she had to do so. Her thoughts were interrupted as Sakura-chan opened the door.

"Who are you and what did you do to sensei?" The pink-haired woman asked heatedly. Seeing the confused faces of her friends, she laughed lightly and smiled. "You're early. It's just too weird!"

Naru began to apologize as Kakashi began to harass Sakura. "Mou, Sakura-chan's so mean. We even brought food. I'll just take it back and return later." Kakashi moved to turn around but Sakura nearly knocked him off his feet as she grabbed him.

"Forget it, sensei! You're out of luck! Lee-kun's not home yet; he's running a little late. Let's see what we've got here…" She unrolled the storage seal, but before opening the serving dish she looked up at Naru. "Please tell me you didn't make this! Your cooking sucks!"

All Naru's nerves about the evening fled her body at the insult. "I DID make it! All by myself! Oh, and I made this too," she said pointing at the scroll. "Can I put it in your refrigerator? It's like a fruity tea kind-of drink: it tastes really good!" Sakura agreed and the two women left for the kitchen as Kakashi kicked fully back on the couch, Icha-Icha immediately in his masked face. He barely registered their chatter as he read about Seiko-hime's first experience with another woman in great detail.

There was a tentative, but very loud knock at the door. Kakashi braced himself and greeted his rival. "Yo!" He looked down at Gai, who had for some reason placed a necktie over his green spandex. The man's eyes began tearing up. "Kah - kah - shiii!" he wept. "You fan the flames of youth by being early!" Kakashi rolled his eyes and saw the man stop and glare at him. In a dark, deadly voice he asked, "Who are you and what have you done with my eternal rival, friend?"

Not good: the way that Gai voiced that last word. "Friend" was his sarcastic word for enemies - well as sarcastic as Gai could get anyway. The man was just too nice - er, straightforward: that's what Kakashi meant. "Maa, Gai-kun, I've already heard that once tonight."

"Prove to me then that you are indeed my eternal rival," Gai challenged.

Kakashi sighed, wondering what would satisfy the odd man in front of him. At least he hadn't jumped up and challenged him yet. "Aa. Back when we were in the Academy, we compared the sizes of our…" At that, Gai did jump out of wheelchair, landing on top of Kakashi who was now on the ground with Gai's hand over his mouth.

"Never mention that again, Kakashi!" Gai warned, his giant eyebrows meeting above his eyes. Gai looked up as he heard women's voices. Seeing Sakura first, he backflipped off his rival and landed in his wheelchair, and began to greet her but stopped short upon seeing the blonde trailing behind her. "NAha-NAha… NARUTO!" He leaped into the blue-eyed woman's arms, weeping loudly into her hair.

Naru was struck silent - well that and she couldn't breathe. She'd seen green and black coming at her fast and now was being suffocated by a person or animal that was attached to a wheelchair. Oh, it's Gai-san! She tried to pat the man's back to soothe him but was running out of time, being out of air and all. They were being shaken as the man clung to her tightly. She could hear Kakashi's voice as her world began turning black.

"Damnit Gai! Look what you did!" Kakashi reprimanded, only to hear Gai wail louder. "And you called her Naruto! We practiced!"

"WHAAAA! Her flames of youth are distinguishing!" Gai cried out, holding his hands over his bowl-cut head of hair.

"Would you two shut up? Honestly!" Sakura said from her position on the floor as she revived her unconscious blonde friend. She took a deep cleansing breath, telling herself that there was no need to use her massive strength to break things or people - particularly the two idiots now arguing in her home. "Look, we got off to a little bit of a shaky start, but everything will be fine! Think positive… and for Kami's sake, Gai-sensei: don't call her Naruto! Her name's Naru now!"

By that point, Naru was conscious again and feeling embarrassed. She thanked Sakura-chan for helping her and smiled at Kakashi. Behind him, she noticed the black-haired man. Wait! Is that his hair or a bowl? But who would use that much styling gel? Bowl it is then. It was so shiny, too! She tried not to even think about his eyebrows; she wanted to stay sane after all. Standing, she bowed and began to apologize. "Gomennasai, Minna! My name is Naru Hatake and it's a pleasure to meet you." Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

The person who was probably Gai-san began crying so loud it hurt her ears. "Kah - kah - shiiii! He… she's… such a beautiful young wildflower in the springtime of youth! And she bears your name!" Gai was out of his wheelchair absolutely wailing and shaking Kakashi by the shoulders wildly. Naru was worried until her boyfriend sunshinned out of the other man's hold and karate chopped him in the neck.

"Knock it off, Gai! You're scaring my woman!" Naru blushed red as a beet as Sakura snickered from the floor behind her. Naru got down on the floor and helped her pregnant friend up. She weighed a ton, Naru decided, as they both groaned in trying to right the pink-haired woman.

Just as they stood, there was a loud "Tadaima!" shouted from the door. Naru turned around and wondered if time stopped. In front of her stood a clone of the green-clad man, perhaps younger and thankfully in an ANBU uniform rather than what the other was wearing. Suddenly she was encompassed in what she could only describe as a bear hug. A piercing scream erupted next to her ear and she felt her hearing go out. Then she realized there was something running down her neck from her ear. Naru tried to reach up to her pained ear, but her arms were stuck to her sides thanks to the other bowl-headed man squeezing the life out of her. She panicked: it was happening again!

"LEE!" Sakura shouted as she tried to pry her emotional husband off her blonde friend. Yes, Naruto was now a woman and now not dead, but still: this was unacceptable behavior! Good gods, is that blood? Before even thinking about her actions, she punched Lee into the living room wall. Unfortunately, Lee was still holding onto Naru so she went sailing along with him. Fortunately, it was Lee's back that hit the wall and not Naru's. Lee should be fine; he was sturdy, after all. Lee let go of the blonde, Kakashi catching her before she hit the floor. "Owww," she muttered, holding the side of her head. "Let me see, Naru-chan."

Sakura shook her head at her teary-eyed husband. He'd blown out Naru's eardrum! She quickly used her chakra and medical prowess to heal her blonde friend and followed with a diagnostic jutsu. Other than the eardrum, Naru only had bruising and Sakura knew that would heal quickly, thanks to Naru's genetics.

Why oh why had he agreed to this foolishness? Kakashi growled and drug his hand through his hair and then glared at the two crying Beasts. Lee flinched at the look on his Hokage's face. He wondered if tonight would be his last. Would he see his unborn child at least? His sobs increased.

"Shut up, Lee!" Sakura said in a deep dangerous voice. "Come on, everyone: dinner's ready."

As wary as Naru now was about this strange duo of clones, dinner was actually pleasant. She had to try to ignore her boyfriend's obvious annoyance: his posture and scowls were telling. Soon, even he began to chat somewhat amiably with their dinner hosts and companion. Best of all, everyone liked her soup! The only things she didn't quite get was the whole thing about youth, and also being continually called "Naruto-kun" by what she had learned were the two Taijutsu masters. She understood that her name used to be Naruto - and was reminded that Kakashi refused to let her use that name as the conversation continued. It made her feel a little off; obviously "Naruto" meant a lot to Kakashi and even Sakura. The "-kun" that Gai and Lee-san continually - and apparently accidentally, since they were reprimanded for it - added onto both of the names they were calling her were puzzling. She supposed that they were colleagues at one time, so she chucked their use of the honorific to her past vocation. She couldn't help thinking, however, that Kakashi cared for Naruto more than her, considering how often he chastised their companions about using the name. She had to admit to herself that it hurt enough to bring tears to her eyes.

Naru quickly got up and headed toward the kitchen. Rubbing her eyes, she thanked whatever gods were looking out for her that they'd neglected to bring in the tea she made to the dinner table. She plastered on a smile and used the tea as an excuse as she returned to the table with her fruit-enhanced cold blend. Sakura had worriedly followed her into the kitchen and was relieved upon seeing that she was simply getting the drink she'd brought with her. She thought it odd that it was cold, but followed Naru into the dining room with five glasses.

Naru poured tea into everyone's glasses, hoping that they liked it as much as she had when she first made and drank a whole pitcher of it the day before. "This is very refreshing, Naru-chan! I admit that I normally do not care for cold tea, but this fans my flames of youth!" Gai said as he pumped his fist, drinking his glass of tea in one go.

"It is much more than I expected," Sakura said, taking a sip. She hadn't finished her dinner yet, unlike the rest of those at the table.

Kakashi had a large drink from his glass and then frowned, wrinkling his nose. Oh Kami-sama, no! "Naru-chan… Is there perhaps alcohol in this tea?" It seemed like the temperature in the room dropped.

"Hmm?" Naru replied as she poured more tea for Gai and herself. "Oh, just some rice wine." No sooner had the words exited her mouth than all hell broke loose.

The entire dinner table had been launched in the air, as Kakashi threw Naru away from the chaos ensuing. She rolled on the floor, wide-eyed. Gai had jumped out of his wheelchair and was on his hands, battling Lee-kun? What the hell?! She saw Kakashi charge at the younger clone - er, husband of Sakura, too. Lee was stumbling around stupidly, but even so, was evading the older men who moved like a well-oiled unit. He was also putting some serious hits on both men, who would stagger after Lee would inevitably fly up from nearly being bent over backward near the floor. Lee's hands were barely in fists and he looked so out of it! With a beginning yell of "Konoha Se…" Sakura-chan flew out of who knows where and socked the most ferocious punch into her husband that Naru could even imagine! Dear Kami! The man had been punched all the way through the wall and was now outside! He's getting up? How?!

Kakashi was on Lee in less than a second, binding him with ninja wire as Gai covered that with ropes. Lee was making muttered nonsensical threats from his binds on the ground, and was no longer the polite man she had been getting to know over dinner. Naru didn't understand what happened; she was just so horrified and startled by everything that she began to cry.

The trio of upright people - although Gai-san was still standing on his hands - looked at her with sadness written all across their faces. It only made Naru cry more. She hid her face in her hands and felt a light arm hug her from the side.

"Hey, Naru-chan - it's not that big of a deal," Sakura soothed.

Naru sniffed loudly, wiping the tears from her face that just wouldn't stop coming. "Not a big deal? You've got a hole in your wall! Your husband is all tied up! There was a big fight!"

"Right!" Sakura nodded, "no big deal!" She offered Naru a bright but sympathetic smile then chuckled a little. "Lee-kun has to avoid alcohol, Naru-chan. You didn't know."

"My tea!" Naru realized, shaking her head as she repeatedly apologized. Why did she even try?! She felt Kakashi's strong arms around her and was lifted up bridal style.

"Come on, hime. It's been a big night and you look exhausted," Kakashi whispered into her now-working ear.

"We can't leave! There's a damn hole in their wall! And Lee… and Lee-kun," Naru let out a wail that she embarrassingly enough felt was worthy of the two black-haired men she met earlier tonight. The one tied on the ground looked up toward her and gave her a goofy smile, while the one in the wheelchair gave her a thumbs up and a near-blinding sparkling smile.

"It's a lovely night. We'll just get more air in the place, that's all," Sakura said, smiling genuinely. Naru decided then and there that Sakura-chan was either a crazy person or maybe there was too much alcohol in the tea.

"No! Sakura-chan! You're pregnant - and the tea… What was I thinking?!" Naru cried.

"Awww, Naru-chan, it's okay. I don't care for cold tea so I only took a sip. And if I'd had more I could've burnt it off with my chakra after realizing there was alcohol in it. Damned if I haven't missed the taste of it, though…" Sakura looked like she was in a dream.

"Are you crazy? That could hurt the… Ouch! Sakura-chan" Naru whined. Sakura had hit her on the head pretty hard.

"That's enough, you two. Everything will be fine: look," Kakashi ordered.

Gai was back in his wheelchair reaching for Lee. He turned and looked at the blonde in his rival's arms and appeased the young woman. "I shall stay here for the evening and look after Lee-kun and Sakura-chan. Have no fears, beautiful sunflower!"

"Gai-sensei!" Lee said drunkenly.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Look away now Naru!" Kakashi said with fear in his voice. Naru looked at her boyfriend but unfortunately looked back at the two bowl-headed men. They were... cuddling and shaking? Suddenly she was blinded by the beauty of a sunset behind them - although their wiggling was definitely just beyond awful to witness.

Naru reached her arms up high into the air as she tried to grasp the utterly amazing vision before her in the sky. "Unicorn!" she whispered.

"Hai, that's it. We're out of here," Kakashi stated and sunshinned them to the Tower. He continued carrying Naru into his bedroom and placed her under the bedcovers. She was shaking and nearly begging him to make the unicorn come back. "What was I thinking?" he asked no one. Shaking his head, he took off his clothes and cuddled his addled girlfriend against him, hoping that he wouldn't be plagued with nightmares that revisited this entire night.