Bill had a lot to think about. His past week had been very busy, and that wasn't including work taking up most of the day. It was difficult to find time to get things done before the upcoming holiday.
One of the things he did was see a therapist, and it was lucky for him that she had a last minute opening so soon. Dr. Bliss was a gentle and warm woman who seemed to genuinely want to help people. He had a lot he wanted to say to her, but not everything could fit into just one session. However, they managed to touch upon his issues with his self-worth, and before he left she suggested a helpful piece of advice: Find a passion or hobby, something that will give him focus.
He felt better after talking to somebody, and was looking forward to seeing her again after the holidays. But now he had to think of hobby for him to focus on. His hobbies of late had been hiking or fishing, usually with Tom or Raul, or anything with Mia. But he needed something separate now, something he could do on his own.
As he thought it over, the same recurring, persistent thought kept stirring in his mind. The last time he felt actual satisfaction, actual glory, from something he himself created with his own skills and labor was when he was making his family's barbecue sauce.
Gilbert had given him his blessing to start it up again. Bill had pushed it out of his mind, not planning on it, at least not any time soon. But now he thought maybe he should try it again. Make up a few big batches, get in touch with the investors who were interested when he tried it before. The more he thought about it, the more the intensity and fervor inside him burned.
He had more free time these days, due to the not having Mia to spend it with, and not having Tom or Raul to hang out with. It was only work, alcohol, and sleep, but now that Lenore was gone and he was high on the frenzied energy of his reignited passion, he completely threw himself into perfecting his sauce recipe again. Bill hadn't gone out to the alley in a few days, as any time after work was spent on his barbecue sauce. He especially wanted to get it perfected and bottled quickly so he could meet with investors before the holidays had them busy.
One brisk evening, after everything seemed to be in order enough for him to give himself a break, he made it out beside Hank's fence with the rest of his friends.
"Haven't seen you in a while, Bill," Hank noted, tossing him a beer after he approached.
"We wondered if you killed yourself," said Dale, only half joking.
"I've been working on my family's barbecue sauce recipe. Gilbert and I are going to give it to some investors and see if we can get a business started."
"That's great, Bill! Just like last time?" Hank asked, grinning cheerfully.
"Yep. I called Buck and got back in touch with the same people as before. I have three flavors made up to give to them. And Gilbert is coming with me; it will be nice to have him to do all the business talking."
"I know it will go great," Hank praised, "I'm glad you've found something to do, and something you're so good at."
"Good going, man," Boomhauer approved.
"Don't forget us little people when you get rich and famous," reminded Dale.
Bill smiled. Their approval and support meant the world to him.
"I saw Mia the other day," Dale told them after a moment.
Bill froze. "What? Where?"
"Her house."
"You went there?"
"Yep."
Dale took a long swig of beer. He made no indication that he was going to elaborate.
"Care to share why?" Bill pressed.
"I was just checking in on her. See if she's coming to the Christmas party."
Bill waited, but Dale merely dragged on his cigarette. He enjoyed making Bill anxious.
"And?"
"She is, thanks to my eloquence and charm. I convinced her to come and talk to you."
Bill could hardly believe it. The world suddenly seemed a little brighter now.
"How did she, um, seem?" Bill asked.
Dale shook his head. "I crawled in through the window and she hardly reacted. With a poor response time like that she won't make it five minutes when the aliens invade. I would think the old Mia, you know, the Mia before being dumped, would have had better intruder protocol in place."
They all looked at him for a moment.
"You...crawled in through her window?"
He shrugged. "She wouldn't have let me in if I came to the door."
"Dale, don't do that again," Bill demanded.
"Hey, it's because of me she's even going to talk to you. She seemed resentful towards you otherwise."
Bill sighed. "Thanks, Dale. I do appreciate you helping me."
"As much as I like seeing you actually happy, I'm doing it for me too. We need more of her sarcasm around here."
Bill agreed.
One morning, when dawn had hardly broken, when it was still mostly dark and the air still chilled, Bill had gotten ready and gone out to his car. He was putting in a few boxes of his barbecue sauce samples in the back seat and was set to pick up Gilbert so they could meet with the investors. Some were out in Houston, hence the early start to the day, and others were closer by which they planned to hit up on their way home. It was a big day, it was an exciting day, and Bill actually felt something again. But the thought of Mia was always on his mind. He kept it tucked away until he was alone and he could let the full weight of his sorrow fully crash over him like a tidal wave.
Once Dale told him Mia was coming to Hank's Christmas party, and she wasn't repulsed at the idea of talking to him, he was filled with a nervous, excited fluttering every time he thought about it. He hadn't seen her in weeks. He deliberated many times about calling or texting her, and he kept talking himself out of it. She hated him and surely would not want to speak to him. But man, what he would give to hear her voice again…
"I am way off from my best time!" he suddenly heard coming from next door.
His nerves jolted inside of him. He could hardly believe what he was hearing; Surely his mind was playing tricks on him.
Bill was out in his driveway securing the boxes of barbecue sauce in the back seat, and one house over stood Mia and Leah, only a few dozen feet away. It looked as though they had been jogging, something Mia would do with Leah when she used to spend the night at Bill's. He could see her familiar shape in the fuzziness of the dim light, wearing a hoodie, cotton shorts, and sneakers. He stared at her, at how beautiful she was, standing there so close, closer than she had ever been in weeks. He wasn't entirely sure if this was only a dream.
It seemed as though they didn't notice he was there. It was still dark, and they had just gotten back to Leah's house, so they hadn't seen him come outside.
"Me, too," Leah panted, "I haven't gone jogging in a while."
"This was easier when I didn't have to get up to drive over here so early."
"I know. I-" Leah stopped suddenly. She had turned to the side and saw Bill at his car in his driveway.
"Hi, Bill," she called over to him.
Mia froze when she noticed him there. She hadn't expected to see him out at the crack of dawn. She thought she had more leeway with it being so early.
"Hi," he answered. He wasn't sure what to do. Should he go over to them? Should he dig a hole into the ground and die in it?
"What are you up to so early?" asked Leah, looking amused.
He shifted. "Um...Gilbert and I have plans."
"Ah, how nice!"
"How about you? Jogging?"
"Yep! Will we see you at the Christmas party this weekend?" Leah called back over.
"Uh, yeah. Yep. I will be there."
"Great!"
Mia wavered a little as she stood there in Leah's driveway, looking on at Bill. It was a shock to see him, even though the possibility of seeing him crossed her mind when she came over, she still didn't fully plan on it actually happening.
Bill also hesitated, lingering beside his car, taking extra time to shuffle and secure the boxes that were perfectly fine. He wanted to say something to Mia, he wanted her to know he wasn't trying to ignore her, that he still thought about her constantly and was trying to improve himself so he could be even a fraction worthy of her attention.
He waited for too long. After a moment, she was gone. The two girls went back into Leah's house and Bill was alone again.
He had woken up this morning feeling excited and lighthearted, looking forward to starting up his barbecue sauce business. He wasn't sure what he was feeling now. Sentimental, over having seen Mia, but also disappointed, because he couldn't even find the nerve to speak to her.
Bill had to just shake it away and refocus on meeting with the investors. He was going to see Mia this weekend, and he would talk to her then.
Mia had started jogging a few times a week with Leah again. It was difficult to wake up so early in the morning just to drive to Leah's house before they ran their route. However, it felt liberating to run and then finally be able to stop and rest when it was over.
It was interesting to her how well she was doing, mentally and emotionally, since Bill had crushed her heart. When Aaron did it, it had left her out of commission for months, and it probably would have been for longer had she not met Bill. But this time around she seemed to be a little more resilient, letting herself enjoy things and spend time with her friends and family.
Mia still wasn't sure if she wanted to go to Hank and Peggy's Christmas party. She was touched that they had invited her even though she wasn't with Bill anymore. The idea of seeing him there, in close quarters, and having to interact with him, made her anxious. She wanted to run from it, but she also wanted to confront it. Maybe it was the closure she wanted. However, she still ached for him, she still resented him, she still missed him and she still felt contempt for him. It was all so contradictory and confusing. She wasn't sure how she felt in black and white.
She knew he felt he was doing the right thing and was trying to protect himself at the same time. She knew he had been hurt many times in the past which caused damage to his self-esteem. But it had hurt so badly that he thought so little of her, to think she would ever leave him, especially when everything was going so well.
She still saw him in everything, and everywhere, she could hardly go a day without being reminded of him a hundred times. She wondered if he felt that way about her. She wondered if he thought about her. She wondered if he really did miss her like Leah and Dale said, or if he just thought he did.
Jackie was walking on eggshells over the situation, not wanting to upset Mia and make her regress back into her depressed state. Sometimes they talked about it a little, and Jackie would test the waters by gauging Mia's mindset on Bill. Mia knew Jackie didn't view Bill favorably anymore, whereas Leah seemed more open to Mia giving him another chance. Raul and Gilbert did not offer their opinions at all, steering clear of the situation entirely. Both of their loyalties were to their own cousins but also to each other, making for an awkward situation.
The day before the Christmas party, Jackie, Tom, Raul, Gilbert, and Mia all spent the day in Austin to finish up Christmas shopping and get lunch. Mia hadn't really planned on getting gifts for Bill's friends, but she saw a boot knife with a turtle shell handle she just had to get for Dale. Jackie side eyed her, but Mia ignored it.
The restaurant they chose was a Mexican bistro that Gilbert suggested. The inside was colorful, with lots of traditional Mexican folk art hanging from the walls or sitting on shelves and surfaces. Bolero music played lightly in the background.
Their waiter came to take their orders, first introducing himself and making chit-chat. "So what brings you folks here today?" he asked them, though he was looking only at Mia.
"Just getting some lunch after Christmas shopping."
"Well, I'm very glad you chose to come here," he smiled, "My day certainly has gotten much better now."
They each went around the table with their order requests. Mia ordered a shredded beef enchilada.
"Wonderful choice. My favorite!" he smiled.
After the waiter wrote down their orders and left for the kitchen, Jackie gave her an observant grin.
"What?" Mia asked.
"He was totally flirting with you!"
"No he wasn't."
"Wasn't he, Raul?"
"He totally was."
"You should get his number!" Jackie said to Mia.
"Jackie, he lives in Austin. It would never work out."
"It's only like an hour drive! Don't you think he's cute?"
Mia truthfully didn't notice. Maybe she would have thought he was attractive under different circumstances, but the only man on her mind anymore was Bill.
"Why not try at least talking for a while?" Jackie pressed on.
"Bill broke up with me barely a month ago."
"I know. But seeing Bill helped you get over Aaron. Maybe someone else would help you get over Bill."
"I don't really want a parade of men in my life."
"I do," Raul joked. Gilbert bumped him playfully.
"You take him, then," Mia said.
"Eh...my taste these days runs a little more Cajun."
"So does Mia's, apparently," Jackie sighed, giving up.
"Don't fault your sister for that. Not many can resist a Dauterive." Gilbert gave a knowing nod.
Soon the waiter returned with their food. Mia avoided his eye, just in case Jackie was right. And sadly for Mia, she did have to admit her sister was right, because the waiter left Mia his number as they were leaving.
"I TOLD you!" Jackie bragged. Mia rolled her eyes. She stuffed the paper with the number on it in her pocket.
They all returned to Arlen, wallets lighter and shopping bags fuller. Jackie dragged Mia back into the car again to go to Mega Lo Mart to pick up some last minute things before the weekend and the proceeding holiday.
The place was packed, which made Mia feel agitated and stressed. Jackie pushed the shopping cart around, feeling perfectly fine, jabbering away to Mia as she tossed in this and that into the basket. Mia trailed behind her, thinking about the Hills' Christmas party tomorrow evening. As she rounded the corner, she stopped short directly in front of Bill. He had a pile of things in his cart as well, probably having the same idea as they had to get last minute shopping done.
Mia had seen him a few days ago when she was out jogging with Leah, but it had been dark then, and he had been a slight distance away. But now he was only a shopping cart length in front of her, lit brightly under the fluorescent lights of the store. She looked up at him, wide eyed, taken aback and still processing seeing him right there in front of her. He looked back at her, seemingly as surprised as she was.
"Hi."
"Hi."
They stood awkwardly, still looking at each other. Mia was frozen to the spot.
"Come on, Mia," Jackie beckoned. She gave Bill an annoyed look.
Mia couldn't move. She looked at Bill, at the handsome familiarity of his face, at the eyes that she knew were kind.
"I have to go."
She stepped to the side and hurried along with Jackie, leaving Bill to look forlornly behind her.
