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Playground

Chapter 2: Loki

Standing in the middle of the children's park was nerve-wracking. A children's park in Manhattan no less. Someone could recognize him here. On Asgard his black hair and pale features made him stand out. Here, less so, thankfully, but circumstances were vastly different: here there was real risk if he was recognized. He wouldn't have sought out a fight, regardless, but he wasn't afraid of one. He didn't frighten easily and he was in no real danger, regardless.

He wasn't worried about himself.

It was Jane's idea to come here today. She had insisted on him coming to this park, this playground, and forbidden him in no uncertain terms from ordering more delivery for lunch. Luckily for her, he was an obedient husband. At least when he was forced to recognize that she was correct.

"You can't keep kids shut up inside all day, Loki. They need sunshine. Outdoor play time. And if this keeps up, we're going to have to pay for this whole hotel room."

"I will buy you the entire hotel, my sweet."

"You don't have any money. Not until they come up with currency conversion rates for Asgard. Or until you get a job."

"You have a point," he said, hiding the effect her words had on him behind a rakish grin.

It was a sore subject for him. Jane wanted to start spending more time on Midgard. She missed her research, the way that it was conducted here, and being part of the scientific community, which simply didn't exist, not in the same sense, on Asgard. She also wanted their son to feel as much a part of and at home on Midgard as he did on Asgard.

The problem with all of this was that on Midgard Loki couldn't even buy his son a bottle of water to quench his thirst unless Jane gave him the money for it. Or unless he created counterfeit money for it, but Jane had advised him – in strong language, the third time she found out he'd done it – that that was a very serious offense he could go to prison for here. His responding smirk hadn't gone over well, and now he only made his own money in absolute emergencies. It didn't help that he wasn't used to having to actually carry money with him and often forgot to bring it, nor did he yet have any of those little pieces of hard plastic that also functioned as money here. His lack of items such as "social security numbers" and "credit history," it turned out, was proving an impediment to the latter.

On Asgard, a man was expected to support his family. It could be entirely mutual – a wife could work as she wished, could even earn more than her husband, or have a more prestigious post. But for men, working was not optional. Unless he was fully incapacitated – a situation which all but never arose on Asgard – a husband did not stay at home and do nothing.

Almost a year ago, the disagreement had started boiling over into a conflict between them – a serious conflict that couldn't be laughed off or resolved by one of them compromising or giving in. And then one night, after their worst argument yet, Jane didn't come home until four in the morning, drunk and ignoring him as she curled up into bed with their child instead of with him. He'd known where she was – he'd gone to Heimdall in a growing panic – but he hadn't gone after her. Jane made her own decisions. And Loki was terrified her next one would be to leave him.

He'd done a lot of thinking that night.

In the morning he'd sent his excited son off to spend the day with his uncle, then pampered Jane as she slowly recovered from the effects of too much Asgardian ale, and after she'd showered, brushed her teeth, had something to eat, and could speak in complete sentences again, he apologized profusely for shouting, for disrespecting her, for not listening, for not taking her needs seriously enough, and, most critically, for not recognizing that she was right and he was wrong. His dignity could handle the blow. And thankfully, his conscience could handle the lie.

If telling Jane his beliefs had changed, and he would be happy to go to Midgard with her for her to pursue her career here, because he wanted what she wanted, if that would keep her by his side, then so be it. He would pay whatever price required to keep his family intact, to see Jane happy, to have her continued love, even if it meant he had to set aside his own pride and stay home washing dishes and doing laundry all day.

When she returned home excited from her day's work, he would greet her with a kiss, massage her aches away from shoulders to feet, make love to her as fiercely or tenderly as she wished, and present her with the whitest whites and brightest brights she had ever seen. (She had already informed him they would not be taking their servants with them, or even hiring new ones on Midgard.)

And it worked.

Jane had cried, and so had he.

"Are you sure? I want you to be happy, too."

He'd smiled softly, caressed her cheek, squeezed her hands, looked deeply into her eyes, and lied. It was one of the easiest lies he'd ever told, because in many respects it was the absolute truth. He was 100% sure of his decision, and if Jane left him, taking their son, too, of course, he would never know happiness again, so yes, he was happy if Jane was happy.

They'd kissed, and drifted to the bedroom with their lips never apart for more than a second, but Jane had said she still felt "gross," and they'd merely laid there, hands and mouths wandering but without any real intent behind it. Eventually Jane stilled and fell asleep, and Loki set to memorizing her face all over again, reminding himself how lucky he was that she was lying there in his arms and in his bed, and that he must never ever take the love of this incredible woman for granted.

Jane had perked up, full of effervescent excitement and plans for their new home and her renewed career, and seeing her so happy did make him happy.

And so, here they were. Jane had started reestablishing old contacts at universities and private research institutes, in a series of quiet visits to Midgard, while Loki ordered room service, or delivery if Jane left him money for it. Plans were firming up now, and they were here in Loki's least favorite city on Midgard for a couple of meetings Jane had told him about only vaguely.

The adjustment was going to be difficult. He was a potential magnet – or even worse, target – for any number of New Yorkers still justifiably angry over what had befallen their city, and there were no Einherjar around to keep an eye out should any negative attention turn his son's direction while Loki was distracted by an angry mob or an attack. Loki had tentatively raised that one again a couple of weeks ago, and Jane had wavered.

"Let's see how it goes," she said after mulling it over. "I want him to have a normal life."

Loki had capitulated. He was capable of protecting his son himself, of course, but the Einherjar would have brought greater peace of mind.

So far, he supposed, as on edge as he was, he had to admit it had gone well. His son had a stubborn, independent streak that was Jane through-and-through, and had taken off with hardly a glance back as soon as they reached the park. He had since completely ignored the nervous father sticking closer to him than any of the other parents – mostly mothers and grandmothers, he had noticed with discomfort – were sticking to their kids. He was even making friends, it seemed, happily playing with a girl with light brown hair, about his age, and getting into a bit of mischief with her on the climbing house. He was probably breaking a rule or two – Midgardians, or at least the Americans, were invested in rules to an irritating degree – but Loki had no intention of intervening. Rules like that truly were made to be broken.

His eyes followed his boy, the little girl running close behind him, to the silly little plastic animals on oversized springs, and watched with amusement as an argument seemed to break out between the two of them. He wasn't close enough to pick up every word, but he was certain he heard his son say, "My daddy has real horses."

He strained his ears to hear what would follow, for watching his child learn and grow was the best part of Loki's life. As much as he loved and needed Jane, this little boy was the center of his world, and without competition the most wonderous and fascinating thing in it. And for something so unquestionably good to have come from him, to be half him…it confounded Loki in ways he would never be able to put to words.

Without being consciously aware of it at first, though, he was listening not to his son's interactions with another Midgardian child, but to the light impact of feet treading over the green matting of the floor. Advancing on him, from behind.

Before turning to assess the person headed his way, he quickly but carefully scanned everything in his field of vision for any threats. He saw none, unless the little girl, hands now on hips, was planning a secret attack. The beginnings of a smile formed, but faded as he twisted slowly to his right.

Approaching him, and now slowing, was the absolute worst person it could possibly be. The thought sent his eyes, behind sunglasses Jane had bought him, on another sweep for the one person he realized would actually be worse – Bruce Banner and his green alter ego – but he saw no one else he recognized, no one else paying him undue attention. Fear gripped his heart then and he carefully twisted back to check on his son and whether anyone was now paying undue attention to him. But the crowd from earlier had thinned out, and he still saw nothing of concern.

"Hey, eyes right here, low-life."

Loki turned around to deal with Tony. Someone had to have spotted him, and word of it had somehow reached Tony. Loki knew he wasn't officially hunted here anymore, and thus although he maintained a very low profile when on Midgard, he hadn't been concealing himself from the realm's extensive electronic surveillance. His first mistake. His second had been agreeing to bring his defenseless child here against his better judgement. Jane was a fiercely protective mother, but she didn't understand threats the way Loki did.

"Tony," he said, trying his best to appear non-threatening, and to keep his temper in check over this invasion of his privacy when he'd been doing nothing wrong. "I wish I could say this was a pleasant surprise. In fact, I wish I could say it was a surprise at all."

"No, I'd say it was pretty obvious. Whatever evil plan was behind you showing up here today? Worst plan you've ever had in your long miserable life, and you've had some real doozies of dumb evil plans. So if you don't want to be blasted out of the state, I strongly suggest, no, let's go ahead and say I insist you pack it up and leave here of your own free will while you still have it."

So much for keeping his temper in check. This was a public playground; Jane had assured him as much. This imbecile did not get to dictate where he took his son to play. Evil plans. His biggest evil plan a moment ago was whether to treat his son to an ice cream cone despite Jane warning that he consumed too much sugar. A few new evil plans were coming to mind now, though. "I have a right to come here as much as anyone else, Stark. You know that I was pardoned here due to my role in defeating Thanos."

"Yep. Doesn't mean you get to creep on people's kids. Thought that was kinda clear from, you know, a basic human decency standpoint. Oh, wait, you're not human, are you? Maybe you never picked up human decency, or any other kind. But Lesson One? You don't mess with kids. Period. Got it? Now beat it."

"Creep" on people's kids? Loki didn't even know what Tony was talking about, but he knew it was making him angrier by the second, and it sounded like he was insulting Loki's parentage, and by extension, his son's. Perhaps even his ability to be a parent. Rage boiled inside him, and fear of the consequences of acting on it paralyzed him.

"You seem indecisive. It's not that complicated. But if you need help deciding, trust me, I'm fully prepared to help. I'd just prefer not to have to do that kind of helping around kids. See? Basic human decency."

"You have no understanding of the concept," Loki snapped. The shame of walking away gnawed painfully at him, but for Jane, and for their son, it was the only thing he could do. "But because I do not wish any children to come to harm because of your arrogance, we will leave. And you had best stay away. I will not always be so accommodating."

"We? Who's this 'we'? You don't seriously think you're taking anyone here with you."

Loki stepped forward, pulled off his glasses, drew himself up to his full height to tower over the mortal, weak as an infant without his metal suit. If this puerile fool tried to prevent him from taking his son with him, Jane would just have to forgive him for how he responded, and he thought, most likely, she would. He pressed a finger to the man's chest, his fist soon to follow if needed. "If you try to interfere with me in any way I will ensure your suffering knows no bounds. There exist lines that must not be crossed, Stark, and you are treading dangerously close to one of them right now."

"Okay, I always thought you were a little bit nuts but now I think you must have lost whatever marbles you still had rattling around in your skull. Do you honestly think I would not 'interfere' with you on this? Move on, Loki. If I see you again I'll shoot first and ask questions later."

"You are a despicable, self-righteous, heartless, shameful specimen of your-"

His neck jerked to the side; somewhere off to his left a child was screaming. Not his, but… He spun around; his eyes grew wide in fear. Stark was running. His son was gone.

For a second, Loki was overwhelmed, staring at the place where his child had been just a minute ago. Fear. Guilt. Hatred. Fury. The look on Jane's face when he told her…

Then it all settled. Training, instinct, whatever it was, something took over, and he was running, too, racing after Stark, toward the screaming of the other child that had to be connected. His son came first. Everything else, including the slow and thoughtful revenge he took on Tony Stark, came after.

He was soon on Stark's heels, and in the shadows under a large tree he realized with relief so all-consuming it threatened to send him collapsing to the ground, his son was right there, leaning over the little girl he'd been playing with before. The girl was the one who'd screamed, and was now crying hard, breathing in gasps between the sobs. Stark's attention was on the girl, thankfully, and Loki put his hand out to pull his son away from the area.

"Get your hands off…"

Loki looked down at Stark, whose hand gripped the girl's quivering shoulder, and saw the confusion in his eyes as they went back and forth between him and his son. The confusion shifted into shock and Loki suddenly had his first inkling of what had happened.

"My own son?" he asked, putting as much disdain into the words as they could possibly bear.


Notes

Probably a mistake to release this on the same day as a Jane chapter; it's probably rather...jarring? Oh, well! :-)

I'm curious what you thought of this; my initial intent was not to repeat all of the dialogue verbatim, but once I started actually writing it, I realized that Loki's perceptions and Tony's perceptions of the dialogue are so different that, in the end, I decided it was worth keeping all the dialogue in place. But the reason I initially didn't want to repeat it was that I didn't want to bore readers and send you skimming instead of reading. If you have a comment on that, I'm genuinely interested, including if the comment is that you *did* find the repetition dull and wound up skimming (you will not hurt my feelings); as a learning experience it would be good for me to have a sense of whether this "works" or not. (The rest of the story isn't repeated like this BTW, only this part, where Loki's and Tony's perceptions are so dissonant.)

So, yeah, the mother of Loki's child is Jane. This was not actually meant to be a surprise, not to the reader anyway, just to Tony (who still doesn't know, in fact). But the problem was, in the "Avengers" fandom category, there's no "Jane" to select as a character, so Loki winds up looking "unpaired" up there next to Tony and Pepper. This story is actually the first of the two I intended for the recent "Lokane Week," though from what I understand it actually got rejected from there, ha, because Jane hadn't appeared yet. Troublesome Jane! :-) She really *should* appear as an "Avengers" character though; she's discussed in both Avengers 1 and 2, and her picture is even shown in Avengers 1. It counts!