DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.
Thinking
Biju, etc. speaking
Biju, etc. thinking
Emphasis
"...and did you know that I'm actually a NINJA, Kashi?" Naru had asked with wide, excited eyes sometime after their third, much longer lasting coupling.
Kakashi hummed. "Maybe," he drawled slowly.
Honest to Gods, Naru knowing that she had been - or worse, wanting to become a ninja again - was the LAST thing he wanted to consider right now. He inwardly cursed the toads that had imparted apparently way-too-much wisdom upon the woman in his arms - the one he earlier finished washing in his shower.
"It's true! I thought I was like, a manufacturer," Naru stated with a pout as her golden eyebrows twitched as if she was still questioning that idea in her mind.
The Hokage wanted to laugh: what in the world would she even be making? A smile graced his features. "You want to tell me more, hime?" He kissed down her neck, eliciting little sounds he wanted to hear much more of. Dropping to his knees, he pulled down her towel a bit and wrapped his arms around her waist. Reaching her breasts, he muttered, "Tell me, hime. Tell me," Kakashi dared her. He used his tongue to make her lose her train of thought.
"Oh please, Kashi-kun?" Naru responded in a whisper. She was holding him close to her breast with one arm while pushing his other shoulder away. She didn't know what she wanted and he had this terrible effect on her, often making her not quite realize what she was doing. She was a little sore, but damn: the man really knew how to use his mouth...
That plea was way beyond enough for the Copy Nin, who was in his own perverted world of kinky thoughts. Sadly, the woman he was holding had the nerve to gently push him away. He brought his head up to look at her and glared.
"What's with that face?" Naru asked him before she giggled and pulled her towel back up. She tightened it and turned away to use his brush on her hair. Kakashi pulled out a box from below the sink with a blow-dryer in it: a gag gift he'd received from Kurenai years ago. That holiday had been filled with hair gifts, especially old man hair dye. Kakashi plugged it in and was glad to see that it worked. Blowing his fiance's hair straight up, she tried to show him what to do with the noisy god-awful thing: how to use it properly.
How does she even know?
Blowing her hair from the roots down while brushing it? Where's the fun in that? As much as brushing or detangling her hair had soothed him over the past two or three months, he liked now seeing how big he could make her hair: it was rather entertaining and made him feel like a pup. Continuing despite her protests, he finally deemed the job finished.
It's really big.
He looked back up at her in the mirror and began snickering. Maybe she had been right. Naru was pouting, a near scowl on her pretty face undoubtedly caused by how she resembled a lion more than anything else, her long blonde hair sticking up in every direction and looking a little… Crazy?
"Oops?"
Naru crossed her arms, obviously in a snit. Kakashi tried to pat her hair down to her head but was unsuccessful. His partner whined and sarcastically asked if he was now happy. He nodded his head eagerly. Women could get really scary about their hair, though - and there was no way he'd mention the F-word, although her hair was certainly Frizzy now.
The last Hatake took her hand to pull her up toward him. She stepped back and bit her lip, looking him up and down as he flexed his chest. Naru called him out on it - saying he was a dork.
So mean!
He'd thought he was being nonchalant about it, but she had caught him, so he went on purposely flexing for her. Naru ran away from him with a towel still around her. Kakashi followed her, watching in amusement as she laughed at him. "Crazy woman: you'd better watch out," he warned.
Naru turned at his quick advance, pushing him away and telling him how the toads had helped her remember "things," making him groan while she completely ignored his annoyed expressions.
"So what kinds of things?" Kakashi finally asked while he bit at her neck and pushed around her wild mane of hair. They were now back in his bedroom, and he was already making plans.
No need for Icha-Icha tonight; we'll keep making our own scenes.
"Important toad stuff," she replied seriously.
Kakashi bent over, placing his forehead on her shoulder as he shook his head, as she let out more quiet laughter. From three toad-summoners, Kakashi knew very well that they were completely troublesome. (Screw the Naras and their favorite word, he thought, not meaning it entirely. "Their word" definitely applied to the three he knew so well.)
"Ma and Pa helped me get my clones under control, too: those clone-bitches," Naru continued as her lower lip stuck out. Kakashi could only chuckle into her shoulder as he lifted her up and purposely dropped her in his bed. He sucked on that lower lip as the love of his life once again had the audacity to push his shoulders away from him. "They said I need to learn control," she giggled. "... as do you, Pervert! In a different way, ya know?!"
"I'll get you for that, Naru-chan," Kakashi whispered into her ear. She jumped up and gave him a pouty look, before chatting about some mistakes she'd made with toad oil. Apparently, it could not be bathed in, nor should someone try to swim in it as she had. He listened and watched as Naru opened his closet and pulled one of his shirts over her towel-covered figure. He gave her a thumbs down and she rolled her eyes, buttoning the shirt before wiggling to make the towel drop from underneath it. After a few moments, she turned around and frowned. Kakashi held his arm up, "Koi? Come here," he demanded as she returned to him with an annoyed look on her face.
"Hmm? I love you, Kashi, but seriously... You need to come clean on the whole 'Dude Naruto' thing," she warned - her lips now pursed into a bow: she looked quite adorably incensed, really. "I know there's more to what you're telling me! I need to know!"
Kakashi sighed heavily before looking up into Naru's big blue eyes. He began explaining everything that had really happened, from when they thought she'd died as a man, to when he found her at the KIA monument onward, only sparing a few details, he thought.
Naru had a blank but displeased look on her face. "So let me get this straight," she began. "You sincerely - seriously think I was a man," she stated with little emotion. The look on her face promised pain, though.
"Maa, really Hime," Kakashi began nervously.
Crap. This is another reason I didn't want to be the one to tell her! He pushed himself up against the headboard, ready to face Naru's potentially explosive reaction to what he'd just told her.
Naru's eyes flared - that look: so much like…
Kakashi almost flinched and was involuntarily ready to nearly admit anything to get that look off her face: it was the exact expression Minato-sensei would always get when he or Obito did something incredibly stupid to show his disappointment in them. Naru walked to the front of his bed; her expression changing to one of determination. Pacing back and forth, he was more than a little nervous at seeing anger cross her lovely face; he was nude, after all. He pulled the blankets up over himself without even considering it, as his fiance stopped in her tracks. She turned toward him and asked an important question.
"And here I thought you were smart!"
She looked Kakashi straight in the eyes, feeling even more put out when she saw that he disagreed with her evaluation of his stupidity. "Do I... LOOK like a man to you, Kashi-kun?" She licked her lips as she threw her long, extremely spiky hair behind her. He watched in wonder as she twisted that hair back in one hand, before giving him an incredibly alluring look and eventually began unbuttoning her… no - his shirt. He watched her hips sway back and forth while slowly walking toward him.
Kakashi's mouth had gone dry. Part of him knew he should say something, but his potentially ruinous words were stuck in his throat!
"Do I? Do I, Kakashi-sama?" Naru asked throatily while running tongue over her teeth and unbuttoning the last button of his shirt. "Tell me, koi… Do I..? Do I look like a man to you," she asked again as she dropped his shirt from her shoulders, turning around in a slow circle to show off her remarkable and near-flawless body.
Only one little white scar.
Her partner growled as he crawled forward slowly, only to quickly grab her hand to pull her back on the bed. She definitely did NOT look like a man. He pushed Naru's legs apart and proceeded to eat into her hungrily and without warning. Once Naru came he growled as he sucked, losing his finesse. He stopped licking and picked her up under her arms, only to throw her back down on his bed on her belly. Pulling her up by her thighs as she was facing the other way, he thrust inside of her as she was back to being a moaning mess. Naru's cheek was on his bed and she was gritting her teeth into and biting his sheets to stop making those sounds he so wanted to hear again. Oh, that won't do, he thought fiercely. "Howl for me, hime," he ordered. Even Kakashi briefly realized that he'd become a little unhinged at that moment as he pounded into her - from behind that fine ass, hard.
Kakashi pulled her back onto his lap.
And howl, she did: it was between a moan and a scream as she finally came again, reaching her arms above her head to harshly grasp his hair. Kakashi brokenly thrust into her as he impaled her upon his lap repeatedly as a bright light came from his sealed bedroom door.
His Naru-chan was beyond thought, crying out in bliss. "Lightning blade!" Kakashi snarled, aiming his jutsu just ahead of the idiotic ANBU that had barged into his room! The open door shut again as he once again slammed into his partner. Just as he began to cum he thought he heard a POOF under Naru's shouts.
"Naruto-ch - AAAAAAH! NO," Old Lady Shima shouted, now holding her hands over her eyes. Only Naru truly saw the Sage's horror as Kakashi's eyes had at first been closed tightly in nirvana. "I'm going to have Bunta sit on you, Pervert!" Her yellow eyes were squinted nearly shut as she bounced onto and then off of Naru's back and twice slapped the pervert on his unmasked face.
She then poofed away.
Kakashi finished emptying his load into Naru again, as he fell back, trying to make sense of what had just happened. His cheeks were really sore: were those… flippers or hands that got me?!
After he could see straight again, he realized that Naru had long been laughing, even with him still inside her: damn it! He decided to punish her by taking advantage of his position, even after giving her ass a slap - and very angrily rambling in a low voice about how whether he was Pack or not, he planned to kill Blank, the ANBU who had the nerve to upset his security seal. His crazy but beautiful blonde fiance just kept sniggering, between those little keening noises he loved, depending on the angle he used to hit her soft spot. He eventually gave up trying to make the giggles stop, even as he kissed her lovingly. She finally quieted down and stumbled to his en-suite only to look at herself in the mirror and laugh hysterically, clutching her abdomen as Kakashi eventually stood behind her pouting.
What have I gotten myself into?
Naru looked behind her at her fiance, the so-sad village leader. She just couldn't help it: even the idea of a little old lady toad jumping on her back during sex was too funny!
And him believing I was a guy?! She broke down in a fit of giggles again, trying to regain control. No - it's all too ridiculous! She once again let out a peal of laughter just before Kakashi pushed her into his shower and forced her under icy cold water. She squealed and proceeded to pull him under it, too.
Cat couldn't believe what his partner had done! Granted, the noise coming from Senpai's bedroom had been loud and alarming at first, but really…
It was pretty obvious to him what Senpai was doing in there! Damn it, Blank! Cat had never, even in his IMAGINATION of another world… He WOULD never ever consider interrupting Senpai's… activities. He looked at his partner, and once again - perhaps for the thousandth time - wondered how long the former ROOT nin had to live. He could only shake his head: this time, THIS TIME, Blank was On. His. Own!
Blank stood outside Kakashi-senpai's - no, the Hokage's bedroom. Hmmm…
He faced the door, considering what he had seen, for what felt like the longest time. Really it had only been a matter of minutes. He turned to his partner: he needed the older shinobi's advice.
Cat lifted his masked face up and groaned. He didn't even want to know what his partner was thinking! I never do!
"Blank-san," he warned in a threatening voice. His partner tilted his head to the side like the social idiot he was. They were both in ANBU masks, but Tenzo would privately admit that he believed his partner had the most frightening of all ANBU masks: Sai had created it himself when he officially joined the elite group. He supposed it was a representation of the shell of a person the man had become.
Poor Sai-kun: that asshat.
Or maybe it was just supposed to be Sai-kun's actual face? Just awful, Tenzo thought. The round eyes and creepy open smile? They were scary.
Blank tilted his head even more. "Manmeat Taicho," he began after clearing his throat.
Fuck me sideways, Tenzo thought. "Blank-san: once again, I request you NOT call me that, particularly when we're on duty!" He received a nod. At least Sai was now - since his death - somewhat servile to his superiors. The nicknames, though? Those never stopped. Blank sighed and placed his masked face in his hand.
Blank: maybe that hadn't been the best thing to call him, although the all-white mask certainly fit the title. As crestfallen as Sai-kun was following his teammate's death, he was even worse off after Yamanaka Ino-san left the village. They were a really nice couple, Tenzo thought. He frowned in irritation. Honestly, Tenzo couldn't believe that Sai had done so well for himself with the Yamanaka heiress at the time. If that guy could do it, why couldn't he?!
"Manmeat Taicho, I must report, but only to you," Sai said tightly.
Tenzo gave a singular nod of his head - trying so hard to ignore that horrible nickname. It wasn't his fault that gay men adored him! For Sai to call him that repeatedly, though, warned Tenzo that the brat really had something on his mind. Hopefully, it's not what Senpai was doing… Their scheduled ANBU relief, fortunately, appeared early, and Tenzo motioned toward their smelly break room. Blank took off his mask after closing the door, looking incredibly troubled. Tenzo put up a silencing buffer, a secondary shield of limited area that worked in the Tower.
"What is it, Sai-kun," Tenzo asked. He sat at the far table opposite the obviously tense Sai. "What's going on?" Tenzo expanded his senses and sighed. Everything seems clear. He signaled for Blank/Sai to continue.
"I am concerned about Kakashi-senpai. He was... fucking quite furiously," he began while grasping his chin and in deep thought. Tenzo began to pound his head softly against the breakroom table from the moment the Hokage was even mentioned. Sai scratched his forehead. "The woman he was fucking… looked almost exactly like Dickless," he admitted painfully, "or a more reasonable version of Dickless' sexy jutsu. Still with the big tits, however."
Tenzo sat up in alarm, forgetting all about his aching head and Sai's course language. Doesn't this just figure? Tenzo had even made a bet nearly two years ago that Kakashi-senpai had it bad for the blonde and would eventually make a move on his former student. But… to think that Senpai had a woman henge as Naruto-kun or his jutsu?
Not cool! Not cool at all!
I need to speak to Senpai!
No matter how great a shinobi his leader was, the man had hidden his lifelong deep despair as long as he'd known him - ever since the two men were children. Shinobi, yet still children, he reminded himself. Maybe Kakashi had finally cracked under the stress? "Sai, I think you need to leave before Senpai finds you. You might want to ask for time off from Dragon if you want to keep living." Sai tilted his head at Tenzo before finally nodding - his eyes less vacant than usual. "You should probably take off right now," he advised.
Sai stood up to leave but stopped before he opened the door. Looking away from his partner, he spoke quietly. "It was difficult to see Naruto's…" He quickly shook his head and started over, first taking a deep breath. "Whether getting rammed by Hokage-sama or not, seeing a face that was so similar to his..." Sai cut his sentence off again as his partner continued to choke. It was still difficult to even talk about his first real, now deceased, friend. Tenzo was grimacing - probably something about sex: the man was a prude, Sai reminded himself - before his partner stood and clapped his shoulder with his hand, letting him know that his superior understood.
Sai offered a quick nod of appreciation before sunshinning home.
Strange. Sitting at Sai's doorstep was a pink slug.
"Ah, Sai-sama," the gross little thing greeted politely. "Sakura-sama would like to invite you to her office tomorrow morning. My Lady said that any time after 0700 will be fine." Sai cocked his head at the creepy summons who only sat in front of him, staring with its beady stalked eyes.
"You are… waiting for a reply?" Sai asked, always wary of the bug-like creature that could once again spit acid his way. The nasty little thing nodded, making the hairs on Sai's arms and neck stand on end.
"An 'invitation' you say. I will have to decline, then, as Ugly is not directly ordering or summo..." The summons brought its head back as Sai determined it was readying itself to blow a giant acidic loogie his way. He held up his hands in surrender, seeing the pest's eyes narrow at him with its gross pink, puffed up, acid-holding cheeks.
"Maa… Katsuya-sama! Perhaps I should rethink my options, ne?" Sai asked it nervously, then felt bile rise in his throat as the damned thing swallowed its own secretions. How the thing could glare at him, he didn't know, but the ink user could tell that's what it was doing. Sai's shoulders slumped as he finally committed to NOT putting his tanto to good use on the thankfully small version of the summons. "Fine. Tell Ugly - er, Sakura-san that I will be there." The creepy thing continued to glower at him before giving him what was either a nod or bow and dispelling.
Sai entered his home and began taking off his armor before sitting down at his easel. He began painting a base on the canvas, just as he did nearly every night, but his subject would not be Ino-chan this time.
Hmmm. No, I will not paint what I saw in the Hokage's bedroom - at least not tonight, he decided. Even though his art provided an excellent way to earn extra money and relieve negative stress and emotions, he just wasn't ready to paint anything similar to Naruto's face yet.
...Particularly as that face had been attached to a well-endowed woman's naked body, with his senpai's dick inside of it.
Hmmm, senpai was unmasked, though, and had a very euphoric look on his face. He reconsidered what he should do. No, he couldn't paint the blonde's face yet. Perhaps he could paint Senpai's unmasked, pleasure-filled face at another time after he lined up an appropriate secret venue for viewing it. For now, a quick sketch of the Hokage would suffice.
After tucking away his sketchbook, Sai began mixing a great deal of red and white paint. He began work on a better idea for the canvas in front of him: A scowling Ugly with highly stalked, angry green eyes on the body of a slug.
Yes, it would be splendid! Where shall I sell this? The hospital WOULD be the perfect place, in a council room, of course.
Continuing, Sai realized he had to finish his masterpiece tonight! He was going to be forced to go to the hospital in the morning anyway, and he had no doubt he'd have many shinobi bidders when he displayed his work then. He also pondered on why in the world Ugly wanted his presence enough to issue her summons to greet him. Well, I'll know soon enough...
