~ Chapter 63 ~
"Let's start with that plot you were hatching this morning. What was that about?"
"About trying to get John to move on. I invited Kate over."
"Ah ha! I knew you were planning on giving your devious side a workout!"
"What devious side?" she inquired, batting her eyes innocently.
He raised one eyebrow and grinned knowingly, but otherwise maintained his silence. She swatted him playfully in response.
"Did she come? I'd think she would've been suspicious of an invitation from you."
"I'm sure she was, but her curiosity got the best of her. Yes, she showed up. We had a very enlightening conversation."
"And what is it that you learned?"
"As you and I both suspected, she still loves John. It was obvious, in spite of her efforts to mask her feelings."
"So? What happened?"
"I let her know, as subtly as possible, that I wasn't interested in resuming my relationship with John. That I hoped she'd be a good friend to him, and that she'd help him get over our breakup."
"You gave her permission to pursue him."
"Not outright, but she's a smart woman. I was certain she'd be able to read between the lines."
"Was that it? You had your little chat, she agreed to be there for John, and she left?"
"Not exactly. Things were going just as I'd planned, until the doorbell rang."
"That was Sami, right?"
"No, she came later. This was a courier."
"A courier? Oh, wait… the divorce papers. They were delivered while Kate was still here?"
"Yes, and I was actually glad of the company. For some reason, when I saw that large, brown envelope, I got nervous."
"What did you think it might be?"
"I had no idea, but I was uncomfortable. I didn't recognize the sender's name."
"Lupin and Associates."
She gave him a quizzical look.
"I found the papers while I was trying to figure out where you were, remember?"
"Oh. Of course. Anyway, I'd never heard of them, and I was grateful that Kate was here, since you weren't."
"I wish I had been, for so many reasons."
"Me too."
She leaned her head on his chest – as if to remind herself that he was real, and that she was safe – before continuing.
"You can't imagine how stunned I was when I pulled out those divorce papers. I literally couldn't believe that John had sent them."
"Did they make you unhappy?"
"Oh, my gosh, no! It was all I could do not to shout for joy, but I had to be circumspect. No sense in completely tipping my hand to Kate."
Detecting his barely audible sigh of relief, she moved quickly to reassure him.
"Surely you weren't worried that they'd make me want to go back to him."
"I know you love me. But you loved him, too, for a very long time. Those papers could've shocked you into realizing just how much."
"You're right. I suppose that could've happened, but it's not what did. I still wanted to be with you, and all I felt was relief that I wouldn't have to be the one to initiate the proceedings. All the concerns we had, that John wouldn't agree to the divorce, or that he'd stall forever if I filed… His doing the asking meant it would be quick. A clean break."
"Thank you," he whispered. "I know it's irrational, but I really needed to hear that."
Cupping his face in her hands, she kissed him slowly and deeply.
"And I needed that. I need you. You're the only man I want."
"Okay, now that you've dealt with my temporary bout of insecurity, let's go back to your story. How did Kate react when she saw what you'd received?"
"She's pretty good at playing things close to the vest. She very kindly offered to get me a drink, so I asked for some water. While she was gone…"
Marlena paused. The enormity of all that she'd recalled washed over her once more, as Alex observed a myriad of emotions flitting across her face.
"That's when you remembered your past, isn't it?"
Her eyes widened in amazement.
"How did you know?"
"Now, don't get mad," he began, holding up his hands in an effort to stave off any protest she might make, "but I found out from Frank."
"He told you?"
Her tone reflected surprise, rather than anger.
"It's not that he actually said it out loud, but Frank and I… we have ways of communicating without words."
"Some kind of secret spy code?" She grinned at the thought.
"Yep. Guilty as charged," he retorted, looking anything but.
"Well, you're right. As I was reading through the papers, they triggered something in me. My entire life with John flashed before my eyes."
"So, you only had memories of him?"
"At first, yes. And, when Kate came back into the room, she found me in tears. Boy, did that throw her."
"She presumed you were crying because John had asked you for a divorce, and you'd realized you didn't want to lose him."
"More details from Frank? No, that can't be. I didn't talk to him about Kate at all."
"Just a little conjecture on my part."
"And amazingly accurate. You must've been really good at your job."
"I was," he agreed matter-of-factly, "but that's beside the point. Go on."
"It was clear that Kate hadn't expected such a reaction from me, and that it disturbed her deeply, for all that she tried to hide it."
"Well, you'd just basically told her that John was hers for the taking. She must've felt as if you'd given her a gift, then snatched it back before she'd even had a chance to unwrap it."
"That's a good analogy. I'd granted her heart's desire, and then, based on her misinterpretation of my reaction, she thought she'd lost it again. Regardless, Kate was hardly my priority. My first instinct was to call you, to share the good news…"
"Which you couldn't do, since I was otherwise occupied at the time," he completed her thought effortlessly.
"Right again. So, I did the next best thing. I called Frank."
Marlena began to laugh at the memory, causing Alex to gaze at her quizzically.
"What's so funny about that?"
"Nothing to do with Frank. It's the fact that I managed to play with Kate's mind some more. Obviously, I saw no reason to divulge that I was no longer your patient, so I walked to the other side of the room to make my call. I could practically feel her straining to hear my end of the conversation. She was unsuccessful, by the way, since she assumed that the person about to pay me a visit was John."
"Once again, a pretty safe bet on her part. You'd just recovered your memories of him, so she figured you'd invited him over to deliver the good news face to face."
"It definitely surprised her when I admitted that I didn't plan on informing John of my breakthrough just yet, and when I requested that she keep our meeting a secret."
"Guess you slipped off the pedestal today."
"What do you mean?"
"I've seen Kate stare at you when she thinks no one is watching, while people have been praising you. It's been clear, from the expression on her face, that she believes you're held in overly high esteem. She probably feels that she caught a glimpse of the real you."
"The real me?"
"The woman who can hold her own against anyone. The woman who's not afraid to speak her mind. The woman who's smart and clever, but who can scheme with the best of them, if need be."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"You should. That's how I intended it." He leaned over to give her a quick kiss before continuing. "From Kate's perspective, I suspect it humanized you."
"Seeing my less than honourable side was good for her?"
"Look at it from her point of view. You're the one every man wants. You're perfect, and she's always falling short. Here's something she can hold up, even if only to herself, to remind herself that you have flaws."
"Maybe that will help, then."
"Help what?"
"I suggested to her that we might be able to be friends again, somewhere down the line."
"You did? How did she react?"
"She seemed interested. I don't think she has many friends."
"Was your offer sincere?"
"Strangely enough, it was. She's bright and capable, and I think we've got a fair bit in common, as long as we're not at odds over a man."
"No chance of that happening in the near future."
"Are you sure? Maybe she only wants what she can't have, and she'll set her sights on you."
Although her expression was solemn, he could detect a small upward curl at the corner of her mouth.
"She'd have better luck trying to land Frank. I only have eyes for you."
Marlena's laughter bubbled up as she pictured Kate trying to work her feminine wiles on the celibate Frank.
"I thought that might give you a chuckle. In all seriousness, though, you realize that renewing your friendship with Kate could lead to some pretty awkward moments."
"Awkward how?"
"If your plan succeeds, she'll be with John."
"Oh. I see what you mean. Double dates would be out, huh?"
"Uh, yeah. You should probably stick to going shopping and catching chick flicks, and leave us menfolk to our own devices."
She giggled again, before lightly brushing his lips with her own.
"She's nowhere near becoming one of my best friends. I've got Maggie and Julie and Lexie and Hope for that."
"And you remembered them all."
"Yes, I did! That happened later, during my session with Frank," she confessed. "It feels wonderful to have that part of my life back, and I'm really looking forward to getting in touch with each one of them."
A shadow crossed his face, and she picked up instantly on the shift in his mood.
"What's the matter?"
"Don't get me wrong. I'm really very happy for you."
"But?"
"I'm worried. Now that you've regained your memories, you'll be reintegrated back into the world you know. Your family, your friends… they don't like me. They'll all be rooting for John, and urging you to reconcile with him." He sighed heavily. "I'm being selfish. I'm sorry."
He hung his head, refusing to meet her gaze. Reaching out, she cupped his chin, lifting it until his eyes were level with hers once more.
"Don't ever apologize for being honest about your feelings. I understand your fears, because a part of me is terrified that the people who profess to love me will turn against me when they find out I've chosen you. Because I have. Nothing they say or do can change that."
His response was simply to pull her closer within his embrace, allowing the warmth of her body to banish the icy fingers of doubt that had taken hold of his heart.
"I'm sorry," he apologized again, causing her to frown at him. "No, really, I am. I don't know what's come over me tonight. I'm not usually this insecure."
"If I were to hazard a guess…"
"By all means, go ahead."
"I believe you're reacting to the events of the day."
"Shouldn't that be over-reacting?"
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You suffered quite the ordeal."
"As did you, and you're not falling apart."
"I already did. My major crying jag earlier… it served as a release. It allowed me to process most of what I'd been through, and to move on. You, on the other hand, have had to be strong. You couldn't give in to your fears. You had to be rational and analytical, in order to find me."
He eyed her appraisingly.
"It would seem that your knowledge of psychiatry has come back to you along with the rest of your memories. Your analysis is flawless."
"Maybe because I know you so well. The point is, you haven't had the chance to deal with all that's happened…"
He cut her off before she could pursue that particular line of thought.
"I will deal with it – later."
"Promise?"
"I promise. Once you've told me all there is to know, you can psychoanalyze me to your heart's content. Not officially, of course," he added, glimpsing the look of panic on her face. "For now, I want to get back to hearing about your day."
"If you're sure…"
At his nod, she repositioned herself more comfortably within his embrace, and searched her mind to recall where she'd left off.
"Okay. As we established, I remembered everything about my past. After Kate left, I was waiting for Frank to arrive when Sami showed up. You already know how that visit turned out." She uttered a mirthless laugh. "Frank got here before Sami left. His presence definitely piqued her curiosity, but neither of us opted to enlighten her. Once she was gone, I vented about her to Frank for a bit. He had her number immediately."
"No surprise there. He can read people faster than most folks can read a menu."
"Well, he was right on the money, just as he was with me. Once he calmed me down, he helped me to realize that there was something fishy about the divorce papers."
"You mean they're not legitimate?"
A note of alarm crept into his voice, in spite of his attempt to conceal it.
"Not in the way you think. Frank figured out that John used a different lawyer because he was trying to trick me."
"I'm not following."
"It was a ruse. John didn't really want to divorce me, just as we suspected, but this Jeff Lupin apparently agreed to draw up the papers with a loophole in them, so that even if I signed, they wouldn't be valid."
"So, you're not really going to be free soon?" Alex's disappointment was palpable.
"Oh, I'll be free. Turns out things didn't go as John had planned."
"That's a relief!"
"I agree. Anyway, after we'd discussed the papers and my memory breakthrough, Frank convinced me that I owed John the truth – sooner, rather than later – so I invited him over." She fell silent, and when she resumed speaking, Alex had to strain to hear her. "My call had filled him with hope… and I utterly and completely dashed it."
