DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.


Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking


Unbelievable.

His fiance was absolutely unbelievable! Naruto had spent less than thirty seconds unconscious, and Kakashi had been shocked when he finally realized a barrier of chains had shot out from her back, surrounding the two of them, the fox menace, and Tsunade as Naruto fell in front of him. Just as he bent down in fear to check on the love of his life, Kakashi had been sent flying into the inside of Naruto's barrier by that damn Tsunade. Naruto woke up and hissed as she looked down at her shoulder, then the projectile that had hit her simply slid out of the gushing hole he could see in her flesh that then began sizzling.

Sitting up and seeing that the battle was over, she rushed to and grabbed the fox - the FOX - and began cuddling and smooching on him, much to the hairy nightmare's ire.

"What's with the chains, Kurama? I prefer my chakra arms, ya know?" She held him close to her face as he struggled to get away from her glompy affections.

Kakashi wanted all of that attention on him! Okay, it's time for what I rehearsed to say to her. He had so much to apologize for. "Naru…"

"Tch! Get off me you canine breeding factory! You, 'prefer your chakraarms,'" Kurama snarked, mimicking her rudely. "Dumbass! With the loss of the majority of my chakra, you can't use those bloody tentacles. Now bow down and worship me for saving your ass for all those years!"

"I don't think so, cutey. Seriously, what were those chains all about? Is it something from Kaa-chan again?! How's that possible?! Wait -will I see her?" Naruto asked, too excited as usual.

"It's a long-dormant and horrible bloodline curse that's always been inside of you, idiot," Kurama said in a rude tone, desperately trying to get out of the blonde's clutches. "You manifested the 'chakra arms,' as you called them after you first stole my chakra! You can't have both! I won't allow it! And I said bow low to me!"

"Isn't he just the cutest, Baa-chan?" Naruto said, ignoring the fox's complaints, before running her fingers through his orange fur, scratching him behind the ears. The fox stopped moving so much, allowing Naruto to run her nails along his neck and back, too.

"No," Tsunade responded seriously as she finished healing Gamabunta, who gave Kakashi the finger before dispelling. Tsunade had already healed Katsuya after the two did something that brought the projectiles - metal pieces - out of the old hag and giant slung. They healed each other almost instantly.

"Oh shit. We should probably seal these Taka guys up, then go see if the seal array's key is here." Naruto remarked, looking over the bloody beach. She and Tsunade pulled out scrolls to seal the bodies into and completely ignored Kakashi begging for her attention, other than throwing body scrolls at him.

The damn fox looked at him and smirked. Naruto then disappeared from sight.

"Where did she go?!" Kakashi asked, panicked. Tsunade just huffed and crossed her arms as she resumed ignoring him, while the fox gave him a sarcastically sad smile. The expression was weird to see and interpret, but it was there, nonetheless. Naruto reappeared with a scroll in her hands minutes later, excited and running up to the Godaime.

"Got it! Now it's time for the interview!"

"Brat, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Tsunade asked the younger woman as she ran a diagnostic over her.

"Hai, hai, I'm good," Naruto replied, but Kakashi caught her hand before she could put it on Tsunade's shoulder and once again teleport away from him.

"Where do you think you're going, Naru? I need to talk to you. Seriously!" Kakashi exclaimed desperately.

"I don't think so," she replied, trying to move her hand away from him. Kakashi took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice calm.

"I am your Hokage, and you will follow my orders."

She used to find that sexy...

"Fine." Naruto's hand grabbed him tightly but before he had a chance to rejoice in the feeling, he was sent into a swirling vortex that he hadn't felt in years.

Kakashi thought he was going to puke! Tsunade was left cursing both the Hiraishin and Naruto from a bent position, her hands on her knees.

Riding alongside the Hiraishin was no joke.

"Chojuro-san! You didn't have to meet me here," Naruto said as she jogged up to him with a bright smile on her face, grabbing him into a giant hug. Only those who knew her well could see that her smile was a bit forced.

"Don't be sil - it's so good to see you alive and well again, Naruto-sama, or should I say 'Naruto-hime?'" Naruto snorted at him and playfully grabbed at the sword on the young man's back.

"We were not expecting Hokage-sama, Naruto-sama," Chojuro eventually stated as politely as possible before giving the former and current Hokages appropriate bows. He smiled genuinely at Naruto as she said she didn't need honorifics, especially with friends. "Lady Mizukage will be pleased to see you." He smiled, but the look he gave Kakashi was one that promised harm should he again...

Oh, gods: how do I get myself into these situations?

Before Kakashi had come to terms with being in love with Naruto - as a man loving another supposed man, an idea that was a first for him - he had a brief affair with the Mizukage. It probably couldn't even be called an affair as their "activities" only occurred on two occasions, both while he was guarding Tsunade and trying to avoid the rounds of interviews back then that reflected upon the war. He had gently turned Mei-sama down, diplomatically, saying that he could never leave his village so that the Mist leader wouldn't literally melt him after she had proposed marriage.

The sex had been hot, but the woman scared him to death, making him always hold back. Why he didn't fear more for his balls being liquified was because he had been so frustrated with trying to accept his feelings for Naruto, and it had just been so long since he'd been with anyone at that time.

Dear God: she was the last woman I had sex with before Naru!

Gulping down his anxiety, Kakashi followed his skipping fiance to what could be his demise.

"Tsunade! Naruto! How good to - oh," Mei cooed at Kakashi when she finally noticed him, making him incredibly uncomfortable as he gave her a nod. Seeing one of Naruto's eyebrows lift as she crossed her arms under her beautiful breasts caused him to unconsciously close his eyes tightly for a moment as he gave the Mizukage a rueful smile from underneath his mask.

Naru might sometimes play one, but none of the women he was with were idiots. They all seemed to sense the tension - and why it was there - as Naru turned on her heel and stormed toward the television station.

Mei handed Naru her jacket, and it was then that the blonde realized that she probably shouldn't have shown up with blood on her.

Once inside, Naruto stopped in her tracks. There was a huge audience that was overflowing from the studio who began screaming for her as she walked more slowly before waving and grinning at the people who had come just to get a look at the beautiful blonde. An additional chair was brought out for Kakashi as he was pushed forward to follow the women. (Not that he wanted to be there at all now.) Naruto was soon smiling shyly at those that were calling her name, as Mei made her remain standing in front of the cameras. Finally, Naru's smile faded and she began telling the whooping crowd off.

Some of the men were calling for her to marry them!

"Knock that off, 'ttebayo! Bunch of morons, embarrassing me!" The crowd went wild again. "Kami, this is crazy," she whispered with a genuine smile on her face as she took her seat. "So," she said more loudly, "are you lot going to buy my book or what?!" More cheers went up from the audience. Naru smiled at Mei, although Kakashi noticed that it wasn't as bright as it had been. "You really got me an attentive bunch, ne?"

Mei patted Naruto on her knee, then reached much higher on her thigh making Naruto jump until Mei tightened her grip. "Nonsense, dear. We simply told my people you were coming and as you can see, they reacted strongly."

Kakashi wasn't even listening to the rather long interview as he watched Mei repeatedly try to intimately grab or caress his fiance. He'd apparently begun unleashing Killing Intent a few times strongly enough that Tsunade slapped him in the chest for it. Watching his future wife blush and try to move further away from the Mizukage may have at one time in his past been a turn-on. Now? Now he was just pissed! Naruto was his, and fuck anyone trying to get in his way.

When forced to speak, Kakashi managed to say a few words regarding his respect for Jiraiya-sama and the Icha-Icha series in general but was so unsettled he couldn't even focus on a scene that Naruto read aloud to a captive audience. It was only when he smelled salt in the air that he realized that many people were crying and offering subdued applause for his fiance's work.

"That was... heartbreaking, Naruto-sama," the host gushed while dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. Naruto apologized for picking a bad part to read, but many in the audience began calling to her, saying that the excerpt was beautiful or giving her other compliments. The applause for her or her book grew and grew. Kakashi realized that he should have been paying attention to the book, and not just focusing his attention on the author's beautiful face, hair, and body.

"...And do you have a special someone, Naruto-hime?"

Kakashi perked up in his seat.

She looked like she wanted to say no. Finally, after twisting her lips in distaste she let out a long, sad sigh. "I did, ya know, but what do ya do? Unrequited love or what have ya. Oh! Look at the time! Granny and I need to," she turned her head away to gag, feeling nauseous again, and clasped her hand over Tsunade's shoulder, "FLASH, ya know!" In less than a heartbeat, they were gone.

The crowd once again went wild for the woman and her well-known jutsu, and Kakashi and Mei were left sitting in front of the cameras. Fortunately, the red light indicating they were on soon went off. They sat in silence, Mei occasionally glancing over at him until the audience and crew left the room.

"Fuck," Kakashi said, drawing his fingers through his thick hair as the last person aside from the two of them left.

Chojuro was politely standing in the hall, ready to guard his leader but trying to give her privacy.

Mei looked at him critically. "You'd better find her and take care of her, Kakashi. And I mean more than the way you took care of me." Mei stood up, grabbing his genitals with one hand HARD as if to help him up. He nearly puked in pain as she walked away before he heard clapping. Looking up, he saw it was coming from the dreaded chibi fox that had been haunting his days.

Kurama was giving him "the slow clap."

"Wh - where have you been?" Kakashi groaned while holding his family jewels. Hopefully, they still held some value.

"I wanted to see what you'd do," Kurama said thoughtfully. "Are you ready to go back? You're going to have to work incredibly hard for her, Pervert."

Kakashi nodded his head as the fox jumped high, with all his chibi might, into his sore - to put it mildly - lap before he had that feeling of again being sucked through a straw.