"Hello~ everybody. We interrupt your program for a very special commercial. As you can tell by the fact that I have not been interrupted so far in this show, I no longer have a director. He decided to quit today, a few hours before show time, so here I am. I still have the rest of the crew, so I'm pretty the sure the show can and will go on even if I have to be my own director. But right now, let's get to the new toy.

"We have a special new toy that's taking over Planet Mobius! Rouge: The Jewel Maid! That's right. We have a toy of the Rouge the Bat dressed like a beautiful, if trampy, french maid. I'd also like to say to those few viewers who may fear for my safety for creating this toy, this studio and my home is under constant survellance. There are snipers all around and I am constantly surrounded by a team of body guards. So, HA! Rouge, just try and get through that!

"True to its name, this toy will clean your house to perfection, but don't expect to ever see your things again because our toy sells your personal possessions on E-Bay! And you will never see that money for yourselves because our toy will pocket the money that rightfully belongs to you. And not only that but any spare change she happens to find around the house will get pocketed, also. And remember not to leave any money lying around in your cars, drawers, or wallets because our toy will take that, too.

"But don't worry, our toy doesn't just steal your things. It will actually CLEAN! Amazing, no? Since I'm sure that most of our viewers are too lazy to get off their butts to actually CLEAN their houses, our toy will do nearly all of it for you. She will dust, vacuum, scrub, et cetra. All while looking for the money and any precious jewels, but we've covered that all ready, yes?

"And if you think all of that is brilliant, our toy will do all of this while finding ways to blackmail your family into doing things she wants. But unless you keep incriminating photos or floor plans and passwords to a gigantic bank vault (which I highly suggest you don't do because, if tempted, she will rob that back and frame you), all of that is highly unlikely.

"Our toy is also very good at being seductive and telling very dirty jokes, so if you have small children I think it's time for you to buy them earmuffs. Which we will soon have on sale at Kaoru's Toyland!

"I am starting to see that we are running low on time so it's time we show the videos from our happy customers!"


A husband could be seen taken off his wedding ring, "WHAT? CAMERAS? NO! I LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES ME! DON'T AIR THIS TAPE!" The man ran off clutching the toy close to himself.

A young woman was yelling frantically, "MY GRANDMOTHER'S WEDDING RING! IT'S GONE! IT WAS WORTH THOUSANDS! TENS OF THOUSANDS!" She burst into tears and covered her face with her hands.

A little boy came on camera, "Kaoru's Toyland? I've never heard of it." The boy was suddenly pulled off camera and sounds of a struggle could be heard.


"As you can see, our toy is wonderful and can help you with your everyday life. Our toy is on sale for only 6,368,743 Yuan. So come on down to Kaoru's Toyland and pick up one today! Warning: We are not repsonsible for loss of personal possessions or husbands."

Three clicks were suddenly heard over the speakers.

"Um, is someone in the director's booth?"

"Kaoru!" The ex-director's voice came over the speakers.

"MR. DISEMBODIED VOICE!"

"KAORU! I'VE BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW! IT'S ROUGE! SHE'S REALLY MAD! SHE BROKE THROUGH YOUR SECURITY! YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

A door behind Kaoru was thrown open and Rouge was standing in the doorway with fire in her eyes.

"Ha, um, I now return you to your regularly scheduled program. Rouge, it was a joke, see? ROUGE!


A/N

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