"Here is commentator Mike! And guess who's on my side?"
"It's a-me, Mario!"
"Yup, Mario is today's color commentator, he is in the booth with me instead of being on the race track. However, instead, his clone, excuse me, his friend Metal Mario is driving his kart!"
"You are a-completely free to adress him as a clone, Mike. because that's what he is!"
"Uh... OK, also racing today are Pink Gold Peach, Ludwig von Koopa, Morton Koopa Jr., that Koopa called Koopa, that Yoshi called Yoshi, that Toad called Toad, Princess Daisy of Sarasland, Mayor Pauline of New Donk City, Wario, Birdo and King Boo!"
"Let's a-go!"
"And Lakito holds the lights, which are turned red! But now it's lights out and away we go!"
"Decent start from Yoshi, he is leading ahead of Pink Gold Peach."
"Mario, wasn't that the same Yoshi who brought you to your parents as an infant when you were captured by Kamek?"
"I think so."
"And now Wario picked up a redshell, and he hits Koopa with it!"
"But Koopa has a banana, and he defends third place against-a Wario!"
"But now Wario goes for another attack and it looks like he's getting a mushroom... your cousin's really a tough racer, Mario!"
"I know he is, but he's also one a-miserable asshole!"
"Don't say that about your cousin, Mario."
"Don't-a tell me what to do! Let's-a focus back on the race! I greatly enjoy watching this battle! Mamma mia!"
"Yoshi is still leading ahead of Koopa and Pink Gold Peach! Then comes Wario, followed by Morton Koopa Jr."
"Lakitu shows us the first lap is finished!"
"And now Yoshi makes a mistake... and hits a banana shell dropped by Daisy in the previous lap! That may cost him dearly!"
"You're obviously right about-a that, Mike."
"Now it's Pink Gold Peach leading, then Wario and Koopa!"
"And Metal Mario's still last! Come on dude! Why are you-a so slow?"
"Mario, you may not have to worry anymore! He just picked up a star!"
"Right-a place, right-a time!"
"The lead group is still unchanged, the best thing Wario can offer against Pink Gold Peach is a green shell! That proofs that Pink Gold Peach is NOT trash!"
"Oh, Mike, don't-a be deceived, she is trash!"
"Mario, I usually am being neutral, but not this time. Are you just jealous that she is golden and your clone is not?"
"Uhm... maybe. I just want some true newcomers! Like Kamek! Or a Pianta!"
"Then you must remove your metal clone."
"NEVER!"
"And while we argue, the field goes into the final lap!"
"And Metal Mario... oh mamma mia, Metal Mario's got a lightning! Now he's-a gonna win, he's-a picking up the field!"
"And indeed he takes the lead from Pink Gold Peach and Wario!"
"Didn't I tell ya? Fantastico! Bella ciao!"
"But we still got two corners to go! Now Yoshi's back at it, he's got a triple mushroom!"
"And Wario hits a bomb! Haha, his quest is-a over, I believe!"
"It looks like a three way battle between Metal Mario, Yoshi and Pink Gold Peach going into the final corner!"
"C'mon on Metal Mario!"
"But now... now Pink Gold Peach gets another mushroom on the final item box! Will that be it? The last yards... and... and... PINK GOLD PEACH WINS IT AHEAD OF METAL MARIO AND YOSHI!"
"NO! MAMMA MIA!"
"Well, that was it for today's race! The hated Peach clone has won! Mario, like you love to say, ah spaghetti, ah ravioli, ah mamma mia!"
