Chapter 5:
Quicksand
It was as if no time had passed since the last time that Billy and Charlie were just friends. Since Billy's apology Charlie and Sue have had him over for dinner, Charlie, Billy and Charlie's stepson Seth have gone fishing together. Billy even came around to help Charlie with putting up a fence around his property.
Everything was finally back to normal in the Swan household that was until Sue's great aunt fell ill and she had to leave to nurse her back to health.
Charlie was in a bind as he had to take care of Leah and Seth while Sue was gone. It was a month away from school letting out for the summer so it made no sense to take them out of school.
Of course, Charlie was more than happy to step up; although, the last time that he took care of a child, alone was almost twelve years ago, when his now eighteen year old daughter Bella stayed with him and that was only in the summertime.
The break in routine was difficult for Charlie at first; normally, Sue would get the kids up and have breakfast on the table for all of them. The lunches for the kids and Charlie would already be made and everything was done, with "Mommy magic" as Seth called it. Thankful, Billy was there to help. He would come over in the mornings while Charlie got the kids ready for school, he would be in the kitchen getting breakfast together as well as the lunches for the day.
"Wow" said Charlie that morning as he and the kids sat down at the kitchen table. "Please, this is nothing. I had to learn to cook for myself and a group of twenty when I volunteered as a firefighter in college" answered Billy. Charlie stared at him in awe but came back to his senses as Leah stared at him while eating her pancakes.
"Mommy, does this all the time plus more by herself" she adds as Seth asks her to add more jam to his toast. "God, I can't wait until you are old enough to do this for yourself."
"Leah" exclaims Charlie's stern voice, "I know your mother is amazing but let's thank Mr. Black for helping us out this morning."
"Thanks" said Seth cheerfully and Leah questioningly, adding "are you going to be here every morning, while Mommy is gone."
Before Billy could answer, a loud horn was blown from the street, "The bus is here. Come kids and grab your lunches from the counter." They stand and do as they are told while Charlie hands them their book sacks by the door. He stood up and made it to the door before the kids could ask any more questions.
He starts to question if accepting Billy's help was the right thing. If Leah noticed something was a mist then it was only a matter of time before someone else would as well. He was grateful for the much needed help but Charlie did not want to lose his family because of old feelings. He waves at the kids as the bus pulls off, closing the door he heads back to the kitchen and sees Billy dancing as he cleans the dishes.
A familiar feeling falls over Charlie's heart as he leans against the door frame and watches Billy sway to the music inside of his head. A feeling of longing and want pulls him from his current position as he slowly walks over to his former lover.
"You forgot one" he says as Billy jumps from the surprising closeness of Charlie.
"Oh, thank you" he reaches for the dish as he grabs it he looks into Charlie's face with a smile on his face. The beautiful smile blinds Charlie and he is lost in it and thoughts of what their future could have been if Billy never would have run away flash before his eyes.
"What are you doing here, Billy" questions Charlie as he grabs Billy's wrist, the hand that holds the dirty plate is loosened, as the plate crashes to the floor of the kitchen.
"CHARLIE" screams Billy as he bends down to pick up the broken pieces, "Sue asked me to be a good friend and help you with the kids while she is gone." He sounds confused at this new development as he questions his friend "What is your problem?"
"I thank you for willingly trying to help us out; but, I can handle this" he answers as he goes to get the broom and dustpan.
"Is this about what Leah said? She's nine, Charlie" explains Billy as the final broken piece is placed in the trash can.
"It's not that" whispers Charlie. "It's like you forgot that it was you who didn't want to come out to your parents. We could have had this" continues Charlie as he gestures to the space around the two of them.
"You were the one, who chose to leave me" anger fills his voice as he stares at Billy. "I wanted to raise children with you. I wanted to come home to you every night."
"Charlie, I…" interrupted Billy.
"No, you left me and now you think that you can slide in and show me how it could be. I know what you are doing, Billy. You forget that I know you very well." Charlie could not take it anymore as he walks to the door and begin to put on his work shoes. He would be late for his shift, if he didn't leave soon.
A warm hand is placed on his back as a forehead nestles on Charlie's upper back, "I want to be with you so much. Ever since I left fifteen years ago, I have regretted it."
Billy continues to whisper his remorse as Charlie's breathing begins to get uneven. Billy wraps his hands around Charlie's waist from behind pulling him into his chest, "I know you left Renee for me. I know that I promised to be with you and raise Bella with you. I...was...scared."
Tears started to fall from Charlie's eyes as all of the anger and pain that he felt all those years ago had finally resurfaced. Billy had showed up on his doorstep and said that he loved him and that it was still the two of them against the world. They kissed and agreed to meet in two days in New York City. He told Renee that he didn't love her anymore and that they could have shared custody of three-year-old, Bella.
However, as Charlie was about to board the plane to New York, he received a text message from Billy saying that he couldn't do this and to not leave his family for him because he wasn't worth it. There was an attached photo of Billy with some tall, hot, blond model type looking dude.
The memories of the past broke Charlie and he jerked himself away from Billy's touch.
Facing him, Charlie points towards the door, "I cannot and I will not do to Sue, Leah, and Seth, what I did to Renee and Bella. Not for you. You aren't worth it."
Shock graces Billy's face as the words of his worth sank in. He wants to explain why he had abandoned him fifteen years ago. He wants to say that it would not be like that this time. That this time would be different; but, slowly Billy gathers his belongings, if he really loved Charlie would he have let him go then and should he be willing to let him go now.
As the door slams behind him, Billy curses his parents for allowing them to ruin the only person who had always loved him, all of him. They loved him yes, but not all of him, not like Charles Swan does…or did.
A/N: Okay, this chapter made me cry. I have a little three day break from school and work so I am trying to write some chapters for some of my stories.
