DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.


Thinking (+ flashbacks, etc.)

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis


Shikamaru and Kakashi's male friends began drinking early and heavily at the combined bachelor party for Shikamaru and the Hokage. Each of them had literally begged their friends beforehand not to have women attend, as their fiances were either incredibly jealous or supposedly just troublesome. Not to mention that Temari and Naruto were each secretly - at least to the general public - pregnant, incredibly strong, and now even more easily provoked into varying degrees of anger and violence.

Gaara and Kankuro had only agreed to allow their big sister to get married in Konoha after learning that Naruto and Kakashi would be getting hitched the very next day. Kankuro was now singing a miserable song, horribly off-key: a song he dedicated to his sister. Gaara looked over the crowd at the bar Gai and Choji had rented out and caught the Hokage's eye, but only for a second. The Kazekage needed to clear some things up with the man. He hoped the Hokage wouldn't still be upset about that fake marriage proposal.

"Kakashi-sama," he dipped his head a bit in greeting to the masked man who had stiffened a bit when he approached. "I want to formally wish you and Naruto-chan happiness and a long and healthy life together." He took a long sip of his fruity drink as he stared unflinchingly at his ally. "Naruto means the world to me and many others. You will not hurt her."

Kakashi bristled at the Kazekage's words but decided that it was better that they spoke now rather than later tonight. He was already buzzed - something that didn't occur often nowadays as he didn't particularly care for drinking anymore - but tonight the drinks were being nearly forced on him as everyone toasted his upcoming marriage. He was also really pent-up since Tsunade insisted that Naruto (Old Hag forced her to) live with her for nearly the past two weeks, so he hadn't gotten any lovin'. "No worries, Gaara-sama," Kakashi gave him a closed eye smile, "my soon-to-be wife means the world to me. I would never hurt her." He didn't like the way Gaara continued to stare at him and grabbed a shot of... something and quickly tossed it back. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

Where the hell is Gai to get me out of this? Kakashi wondered. Oh, there he is, balancing his wheelchair on a rather high stack of tables and chairs. He quickly averted his gaze when Gai looked eagerly in his direction; he didn't want to be forced to do the same in a youthful challenge no matter how much he wanted to get away from Gaara. At times like these, he really missed Asuma even more.

Asuma always helped him out of situations like this back when he was alive - and everything else, really.

Tenzo hadn't shown up yet, so he really was stuck.

"I am enjoying myself. As is Kankuro, obviously," he said the last part rather crisply, as Kankuro's wailing was really a downer. "He'll be done soon, I hope." The party-goers clapped, howled, but mostly booed as Kankuro's rendition of "Lost Little Girl" came to a powerfully awful end. "Will you be singing tonight?"

"No. Absolutely not." Kakashi missed the predatory look on Gaara's face and tried to politely leave their conversation.

Gaara touched the Hokage's Jounin vest as Kakashi turned away from him in order to reclaim his attention, wondering if the guy ever wore anything else besides that and his Hokage robes. "Naruto was my first friend. When she and Tsunade came to see me in Suna, she did not seem happy."

Kakashi saw red but smiled fakely as he reminded himself not to start a war at his bachelor party. "Maa, she was in Suna, additionally, was she? The Haraishin is a remarkable jutsu, but she'll have to stop using it unless she's with me. Security measures for the family and all that comes with The Hat, ne?" He took another shot, fuming that Naru had run off to her "friend" in Suna. He estimated that there were two dozen shots of various alcoholic beverages waiting for him, and he was beginning to work his way through them.

At that moment, Gai's impressive stack of chairs, boxes, and tables came crashing to the ground. Lee flew out of nowhere and "saved" Kakashi's rival and his wheelchair at the last second, although Kakashi was sure that Gai could've saved himself. Lee and Gai were now in the middle of one of their sunset hugs of doom, as the crowd boisterously reacted once again. A senbon nearly hit the weeping Gai who dodged at the last second, which probably meant that Genma had finally shown up.

Kakashi was glad that his old, senbon-sucking friend had finally forgiven him at Naruto's behest, and was relieved that he'd stay on as the ANBU Commander and desk-jockey of the organization. Tenzo was just too valuable in the field to take over that position, for now. He moved to the side as Genma sent a little silver present flying toward him, too. "Asshole," Kakashi mumbled out loud, although he was amused. "Attempting assassination already?!" he yelled, "you could've just told me you wanted The Hat, Gen-kun." Laughter followed.

Most of the party-goers were getting louder and louder, having a great time, yet here Kakashi was, stuck with Gaara. Tenzo had shown up with Genma; he smiled at Kakashi and raised his beer, but otherwise left him to deal with politics, it seemed. The Hatake took another shot and didn't even look over when the Kazekage groaned.

"Kakashi, I consider Naruto to be my little sister." The Hokage finally looked at him and then stared at Gaara's drink for a moment, making the redhead feel a little embarrassed about the now even taller concoction with flowers and fruit hanging off the sides. It was delicious, however! "The relationship that she and I... attempted to enter into all those years ago would never have worked, and not just because Jiraiya-sama resealed her gender."

So Gaara IS the guy Naru was messing around with after her first seal broke on her training trip, Kakashi thought bitterly. He took another shot. He knew that he had no right to be jealous, but that didn't mean he wasn't. He liked thinking of Naruto as always and forever as his and his alone.

"...Not to mention, try courting a girl with a bijuu screaming in your head," Gaara continued a bit sourly. He shook his head as he remembered Shukaku yelling at him while he "messed around" with Naruto, scratching his cheek as he thought of his girlfriend at the time holding her head as Kurama simultaneously screamed at and threatened her. Kurama was even more aggressive about it than Shukaku had been; Naruto said that he promised to disembowel her if they continued seeing each other.

A relationship that could only be short-lived. Naruto dreamed of becoming Hokage, and Gaara was already, at that point, being prepared for the Kazekage position. As enamored as he was with the blonde back then, a long-term relationship between them would simply never work. A Kage's duties never end. Shikamaru and Temari could make their relationship work, but one between two Kages would be impossible.

Back when they were each 15:

Gaara faltered at seeing his date sitting in the restaurant they agreed to meet at in her male form. "Naruto?" He wondered if the prankster king/(queen, actually,) was playing another trick on him. Usually, he liked her tricks, but he also very much liked her to look like herself: the beautiful girl that he had gotten to know better since her master brought her to Suna a few months prior.

"Oh hey Gaara," Naru said lightly but nervously. "SO," she began while Gaara waited for her to tell him what was going on. "After Ero-sennin caught us yesterday," Naruto blushed furiously, and Gaara was pretty sure that he was doing the same, "he - uhh..." She huffed and pouted, looking away from him all the while. "Well, the damn pervert knocked me out and sealed the real me off again." There was a long, long pause where neither of them said anything. "He won't even tell me how long this one will last!"

Gaara was alarmed when he saw tears form in the disguised girl's big blue eyes. "Don't worry, Naruto-chan -er, -san, that's fine. I deeply value your friendship. We can go back to being friends," he said gently. Unfortunately, he saw Naru's eyes beginning to turn more purplish-red the longer they sat in silence.

"Friends, huh? Yeah. Of course," she exclaimed, taking a deep shuddering breath. "We're friends you - you ASSHOLE!" Naruto punched Gaara straight out of his booth and halfway across the room before stomping away.

Temari was later furious upon hearing about their altercation, and couldn't believe that she had to explain to her baby brother how much it must have hurt Naruto to suddenly feel dumped just because of "his" gender. "She's still the same person inside, Gaara. You'd better apologize," she threatened with her hand on her fan.

Realizing that he had finished his drink, Gaara came out of his thoughts and flagged a waiter for another. The place was really hopping now, and Akimichi Chouza was wailing out a rock song on stage. He's really good. "Do you think a relationship between a sensei and his former student can truly work?" Gaara asked without really thinking about it. I must be more buzzed than I realized. He looked over to his fellow leader and wondered why he was growling. Literally growling!

"OBVIOUSLY I think a relationship like the one I have with Naruto will work, and it always will, you raccoon-looking mother-"

"RIVAL! I challenge you to a drinking contest!"

Kakashi ignored his best frenemy. "Not now, Gai, I have to teach this little punk a..."

"KAH-KAH-SHI!" Gai grabbed his friend and threw him into his lap, quickly wheeling him off to the corner. "What the hell's the matter with you?!" he loudly whispered.

Gaara was standing alone as he stared at the Hokage, not understanding what had happened until Kankuro found him. "I think the Hokage is angry with me."

"Looks like it," Kankuro agreed as he then leered at a bartender. "What did you do? It's supposed to be his celebration, man."

"I didn't say anything untoward," Gaara said as he picked up someone's full shot glass before slugging it back then wincing. "I only asked if he thought courting Matsuri-chan was a good idea. Or something to that effect." He watched Gai and Kakashi wrestle with one another until his friend Lee crashed into them. That seemed to make more men get interested in the wrestling that was going on. "Perhaps we should leave for the evening."

"Nah. We still need to fuck with Shikamaru," Kankuro answered as he took a shot as well.

"You're right," Gaara nodded. "Where is our shadowy new little brother, Aniki?"

"Yikes: Gaara! Stop making your serial killer face! We just need to prank and humiliate him! At least a little, right?"

"Aa. You're no fun, you realize that don't you?" Gaara asked. Kankuro merely snorted in response.


Naruto, Temari, and the girls watched chaos continue to unfold at the bar the men were at, all wearing matching cloaks as they gathered across the road behind some bushes. Along with some really bad karaoke, the guys were eating and drinking, while more and more of them seemed to be engaging in an all-for-one unplanned Sumo match.

"A thousand ryo on Choji-kun," Tenten said.

"I just don't get it," Temari said in her dry alto. "What makes men act like this?"

"I know that my Lee-kun's only trying to keep our senseis out of trouble," Sakura said. She loved her baby to pieces but was so glad to be out of the house. She had a Genin team watching baby Sarada along with little Marai tonight.

"I put a thousand on Kakashi. Well, maybe Gai, but if he takes off his clothes to really go for it... Hmm. Okay," Naruto said, her hands fisted in happy determination, "a thousand on Kakashi, and 750 on Gai-sensei!" She turned to Temari. "Are you betting on Shikamaru?"

"Are you insane? Forget it: I forgot who I was talking to. You are insane. And do I want to lose money? No - I'd rarely put money on that lazy bastard." She shook her head, just thinking about the impossible idea of Shikamaru putting himself out there purposely in what was a nonsense fight anyway. "I put a hundred on Choji's father if he gets involved, 200 on Choji since he's already tossing people, 150 on your pervert since well, he was pretty effective in the war and all..." She completely ignored Naruto's squawk about how calling her fiance "pretty effective" was totally unfair to how "awesome" Kakashi performed and commanded his troops and team during the war. "Hmmm. 1000 on Gaara, but he's never going to get undressed. He'll cheat with his sand."

"Ano, I'm sorry Temari-hime, but I can't imagine that we'll remember all of that," Hinata said, wincing as she saw Kiba jump into the fray from where he'd been singing and shimmying around on stage.

"Gatsuga!"

"Oh dear," Hinata nearly whimpered. "1000 on Kiba-kun losing, 1000 on Gaara-sama interfering."

"What an idiot," Naruto said dismissively about the dog-man, watching as Kiba only succeeded in scattering the guys and destroying some of the bar's furniture.

"Says the idiot. And I've got it, Hinata," Sakura said, ignoring the destruction that Kiba was causing. She was already writing down everyone's bets - because of course she was. "A thousand on Lee-kun!"

"You're always so damn prepared," Naruto complained and got smacked by the pinkette in the shoulder. "Should I go over there and summon a toad?" The blonde snickered at the idea of it.

"Not unless Lee drinks again," Tenten said. Nearly everyone groaned, remembering the time two years ago when Naruto was forced to summon Gamabunta to take down the drunken Blue Beast lest he completely destroy a second building. That little outing had cost all of them a bundle.

"What about you, Matsuri-chan?" Naruto asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at the younger woman. "Gonna bet on your man?" Temari snorted but did look over to see Matsuri's reaction.

Fortunately, Matsuri was relatively unaffected or appeared to be, by Naruto's taunt. First, she knew that Naruto was a pain in the butt and a pervert to boot, so of course she'd imply something like this with all these women around her. Secondly, she knew that any reaction she showed would only spur on all these other loud women. Third, she felt that she still had at least a couple of rivals to Gaara's affections here in their group and didn't want them making more moves on the man she loves and admires. "I don't know what you're implying, Naruto-sama, but I don't believe Gaara-sama will partake in this foolishness."

"Bleh! Don't use honorifics with me, Matsu-chan! And care to wager that Gaara won't get involved?" Naruto felt confident. When it came to betting, she was always incredibly lucky, plus she'd seen Gaara take some shots and drink those big girly drinks he liked so much.

"2000 ryo that he will abstain," Matsuri said confidently. She received a round of 'oooooo's. All of the other Sand kunoichi agreed with her, however, and matched her bet. Sakura's recording of everyone's varying and increasing bets was interrupted when Tsunade crashed to the ground beside them, carrying sake and dragging along an annoyed Kurenai. She had created a crater when she landed, and the earth-shaking noise and vibration still didn't seem to deter the men that were wrestling or partying. Anko arrived right behind them.

"'Sup!" Anko greeted while chewing gum. She blew a bubble that was long and curvy - almost like a snake.

Ew.

"My nose told me you're having a contest and count me in! Wha- what the hell are those idiots doing?!" Tsunade asked, one of her eyebrows raised as high as it could probably go.

"Sumo wrestling. Who do you think will win?"

"My bet is on Kankuro," Tsunade said firmly. Everyone winced, realizing just what a sucker she was. "He'll poison the others and I'll be forced to heal them. Put me down for 100,000."

"Absolutely not, Baa-chan! This is why you're always broke, ya know. Honest to Kami, woman, why don't you ever take my advice?"

"Because you're an idiot," Tsunade said before downing the rest of her sake. Kurenai and Anko were already laying bets on Chouza, although they placed side-bets on Shikaku. They felt the older Nara might get tired of all the ruckus and shadow strangle everyone competing, one by one. Side bets were laid on whether or not Inoichi would eventually dive into everyone's mind. "I need more sake. Your party sucks, Naru-chan."

"Hey!" Temari and Naruto yelled in unison.

"We were having a lovely time back at the hotel," Temari continued as she flashed what she was wearing under her cape. Her fan was over the back of the cape, naturally. Underneath, she had on a tiny teal satin nightie that she'd received as a gift from Matsuri. Naruto flashed something that covered her entire torso in large orange feathers, making Tsunade snort.

"Sakura-chan gave it to me!" Naruto said proudly as she pulled at her cape so that Tsunade could see how the feathers flared out around her butt. It was otherwise nearly backless.

"You look like a deranged chicken," Tsunade said quite seriously.

"Hey, why don't we bet on how the guys like our lingerie," Yukata said excitedly. She bounced up and down at the idea, holding the hand of her best friend outside of Matsuri, Tomomi-chan.

Shouts of "NO!" and "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" were made by Naruto, Temari, and Matsuri. None of them wanted the men they loved looking at other women. Especially particularly cute ones like Yukata, who had a great figure, to boot. "They know we're here, ya know," Naruto said in annoyed fashion as she frowned at the idiots wrestling and other ones, including her fiance, who were stacking chairs and tables up or pushing them off to the side to make more room for impending carnage. "Hmm. I think they deserve to be pranked for ignoring us."

"Agreed," Temari said with an evil little glint in her eye. "As long as Shikamaru will be fully recovered by tomorrow afternoon for our wedding." She then glared at Naruto. "I don't want a speck of orange on him, do you hear me?"

"Water-washable paint for babies it is then," Naruto chirped.

The group of happy, sneaky women ultimately went off in different directions to pick up various pranking supplies upon which they all agreed. Meeting an hour later, Naruto poured each item into two complex, time-released seals, then offered to put it on the ceilings and floor of the bar. "Gai and Choji have enough money to cover the expense of clean-up, right?"

"Meh, they'll all get together to cover the damage, as always," Ino said with a shrug. She had also placed her bet on Choji who seemed to be on a winning streak. Sakura agreed to sneak over to see the current tally of wins, losses, and such. It was being recorded at the bar, and Sakura's camouflage jutsu was pretty damn good.

"No way can you do it, Naruto. You can't hide your chakra for shit anymore, and that Pervert Hokage will have a fit if he sees you on the ceiling."

"Don't call him that, drunk granny!"

"Why you!" Tsunade quickly put Naru in a headlock and noogied the crap out of her. She was really way too strong.

Eventually, Ino agreed to place one seal on the bar's ceiling, while Anko volunteered to place the other close to the center of the barroom floor. Bets were placed on whether or not Anko was doing this because she wanted to enter the wrestling fray, or just wanted to cop a feel of a nearly naked man. Iruka was also there without a shirt on for now, and bets were placed whether or not the two of them were dating, and who would trick them into confessing by the end of the second wedding's reception.

Ino dodged senbon as she made it to the bar's ceiling. Running around upside down, the pranksters knew that they had to take out Genma in order for their plan to succeed. Fortunately, Genma was otherwise drinking his weight in sake as he simply sat, enjoying the company of Shikaku and Inoichi - aside from spitting senbon at Ino, of course.

Sakura was already on her way out of the bar, having successfully re-recorded the results of the sumo/wrestling/fighting matches so far. More bets were placed and altered among the women, and a top of 5000 ryo per bet was deemed important. That wasn't very much money, but it was enough to make things interesting.

The Godaime was going to go broke, otherwise, if she kept betting the way she was, (which could only be described as terribly.)

Anko strutted straight into the bar and felt off, one after another, Iruka, Sai, and Choji who was in a near berserker state from fighting. The big man turned and threw Anko straight into Genma in his "youthful fighting spirit," as Gai loudly proclaimed from his spot near the ceiling. Ino took the opportunity of Genma and Anko's crash to the ground to place the seal on the ceiling. Gai gave her a thumbs up from his wheelchair which was dangerously teetering on a pile of... many things; the pile he was sitting on wavered even more as Ino used him as a springboard when she flipped over to run back into the hedges.

Kakashi sprang up, standing on the ceiling, upside-down beside his rival. "Whaddr those women up to? You haven' notice Naru doin' anything rash'r dangerous have ya?" he slurred. "Der supposed' ta be havin'... a nice lil... sweet get together now. Not be- being... out doin' stupid shit!"

Gai tried to focus on his rival's face and wondered if his leader really was pouting under his mask now. It looked like he was, making Gai laugh rowdily. "I rechallenge you to a drinking contest, eternal rival!"

"Goddammit, Gai! Fine. But I gotta wed - wedding' to... do - ya know... stuff to, tomorrow," Kakashi agreed. "Lead it - the wedding' that is." He and Gai both crashed to the ground as he was trying to explain that he needed to officiate Shikamaru and Temari's wedding, but began taking shots quickly anyway.

"Those idiots!" Naruto nearly shouted. She didn't even realize that Anko did not even try to put her magnificent seal of destruction down, or that the woman had begun wrestling an angry Sai. "They're gonna frickin' kill themselves with all that alcohol!" She jumped on the roof across the street from them and pumped her chakra into it. No one inside the bar seemed to even care what the large Naruto-like chakra flare was. Temari grabbed Naruto's arm when she returned to her group as she glared at the enormous cake that was being rolled into the bar from the backroom. "Boom," Naruto said as multi-colored paint, glitter, feathers, toilet paper, and cotton balls splattered the men (not to mention the business) from head to toe. Air horns had also gone off.

All of the girls were pretty thrilled as silence finally took place within the bar. The now THREE huge cakes opened to reveal extremely scantily clad civilian women who looked bewildered.

"Prepare yourselves, bitches," Temari said angrily, her fan at the ready.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Naruto yelled because she was so pissed about those girls. She had warned Kakashi, and Shikamaru, Tenzo, and Temari were witnesses to her warning. She was completely sure that Temari was in agreement. Thanks to calling out her jutsu, the men avoided Gamabunta falling upon them from the sky, but he did destroy the roof and most of the bar. What the bachelor party participants couldn't avoid was Temari's wind attack right afterward.


Shikamaru and Temari had appeared via a sealing array in the beautifully decorated Hashirama Forest for their incredibly large wedding reception. They'd been transported from deep in the Nara woods, where they'd been wedded at the Kofuku-ji temple. The event was less formal than what one would normally see in a shrine, as Kakashi had officiated it in his role as the Hokage. Only the couple's teammates and family had been there, and they were all blown away at the vows that the bride and groom had spoken. Shikamaru had even refrained from saying that anything, past or future, was troublesome or a drag and had actually seemed attentive and happy.

Naruto had been awed by the incredibly moving ceremony and considered her own that was coming up tomorrow as she was transported through the seal, holding Kakashi's arm tightly. Because Naru had never been to a wedding, she really didn't know the possibilities that existed for one. She had allowed Tsunade to plan everything, and it had all sounded better than okay before, but now she wondered if the somewhat traditional ceremony would ever hold up to what she'd seen at her ANBU partner's wedding.

Bee had cleared out a larger part of the forest next to what he had completed similarly during the war, both times in his tailed-beast state, for their wedding tomorrow. Naru had overheard (spied on) Yamato-taicho, -er, Tenzo, who was planning to do something with the barren land that had made Naruto panic last week when she'd seen it.

Temari looked like a goddess in her ivory and gold gown that was typical of the style that royalty from Suna always wore as brides. Naruto's own ivory uchikake and all the layers underneath - not to mention that damned floppy hood she had to wear to "hide her horns" would look so traditional and maybe even frumpy tomorrow. She began to dread just thinking about it! Nausea hit her and she was forced to sit down. People were still greeting and talking to her fiance - and maybe her - but Naru could barely hear them. Would Kakashi wish that he was marrying someone as gorgeous as her close friend from Suna? He'd been right in front of the happy couple, after all, and no one could deny Temari's incredible beauty and grace. She put her head between her knees and tried to breathe.

"Naru? Are you alright?" Kakashi said in a low voice as he crouched down next to her. "You're not planning on ditching me at the altar or getting stage fright about tomorrow, right?" he joked as he cast a genjutsu around them so they'd be left alone for the time being.

"It's just - just - there's... so much..." Naru couldn't even finish her sentences or thoughts. Looking over at the elegant buffet table, she saw chibi-Kurama take a bite out of the before-then untouched wedding cake and winced, hoping that his antics wouldn't curse her to hell or something. She should've forced that chibified fox to stay at the Tower (as if he'd listen,) or get back in her seal - or something. Anything!

His bride-to-be not directly responding to his last question about wedding jitters made Kakashi panic, too. "Mmm... Have you eaten today? What's the hag been feeding you?" he asked hotly, not knowing what else to do. The Godaime had thought it was a good idea to separate the couple until they were wed and had forced Naruto to stay with her for almost two weeks. Surely she didn't talk Naru out of marrying me!

"Oh," Naruto picked her head up and tried to sit up straight as she smoothed the kimono that her mother had once worn. She didn't have much from her parents but did have some hair accessories and jewelry aside from this that she'd be wearing or using tomorrow. So much that had been saved for her following their deaths had been lost in Pein's attack: it was unfair. In the afterlife, she was definitely going to kick Nagato's butt for being such a damn idiot. "I guess I forgot to eat lunch? And you know how Baa-chan is, Kashi! She's usually making sure that I'm eating a super boring healthy diet, but I had been getting ready and forgot all about lunch at the time, ya know." Naru paused, rolling her eyes at her own rambling and that verbal tic of hers, slumping down to nearly put her head in her lap.

Kami, if I had chosen my own vows, I'd probably say "ya know" or that damn "dattebayo," and embarrass the heck out of myself. And Kakashi. "Oh gods," she groaned.

Kakashi rubbed his hands together and looked around, waiting for the clone he made to come back with food. Watching Naruto freak out like this was making him twitchy. He'd also been playing off his hangover exceptionally well he thought and was surprised that Gai and some of the others made it to the Nara's reception at all.

Speaking of Gai, where his rival had purchased an all-green suit, Kakashi would never know - and never want to. Although as Hokage, I could put them out of business... "Here you go babe," he implored his fiance after taking a sip of a rather elegant glass of punch. "Drink this. It's not spiked yet, so..." His disguised clone brought back another glass of punch and a bunch of teensy tiny sandwiches and some other small food. Kakashi sent him back to get real stuff with a glare.

"Mmm! These are good, but it's totally stupid that they're so small, ya know," Naru said as she frowned and studied the finger sandwich as if it personally offended her, making Kakashi melt.

"I love you so much, Naru-hime. I can't wait to marry you."

Naruto stopped putting another entire sandwich in her mouth and stared up at her fiance in awe. She smiled and stood up next to him, holding him close to her and relishing his arms around her waist. "Everything will be okay, right?"

"Right, baby. From here forward," he said sincerely. He kissed his fiance deeply and loved the way she purred back at him.

"Ya know what will really make me feel better?" she asked mischievously as she licked her lips and pushed her bust and hips up against him more aggressively.

"Really?!" Kakashi said as he recorded his beautiful partner with his Sharingan. He didn't remember when he pushed his hair and opened that eye up, but he'd look back at this moment they spent together afterward.

"Yeah," Naru replied breathlessly. Her shoulder was grabbed before she could make even a single hand signal to begin their escape.

"Where the hell do you two think you're going?!" Seeing Naruto begin to open her mouth, Tsunade tsked at her. "Don't bother trying to lie to me, Naruto! And you have duties as the Hokage, brat," she continued to scold them both. "You didn't eat today, and I better see you eating something better than this! Cucumber?" Tsunade sniffed at the little sandwich she'd grabbed off the other blonde's plate. "How disgusting. Come with me!" The Godaime dragged Naru off while the jinchuuriki whimpered and begged to be released.

Kakashi watched from behind them and smiled. He'd have her all to himself tomorrow, and forevermore.


The big day had arrived.

Naruto's friends would all admit that they'd had serious reservations about their blonde she-knucklehead marrying the (Pervert) Rokudaime Hokage. But seeing the couple dance together at the previous day's reception - completely wrapped up in each other's presence - made many feel better about the... Well, the apparently international event to which they had nearly front-row seats. There were more people here than most of them had ever seen before in one place aside from Gaara's address before the war, but now they were all sitting in formal wear and looking eager to see the bride and groom.

Kakashi stepped out of the dense forest and gawked. Thank Kami I have a mask. He knew a lot of people were coming to the wedding that the hag had arranged, but this was crazy! He glared at the woman who was now smirking at him in her Godaime Hokage robes and wrinkled his nose in distaste as he went to stand on the other side of Tenzo and Gai. He nodded at both of them even though his two closest friends were smiling like loons. He firmly approved of their formal wear, however. Music was playing from... somewhere, and Kakashi wondered if the village could handle this expense despite the tourism the Godaime said it would bring in - and whether or not Tsunade had actually forced a ninja orchestra to perform.

Is there such a thing as a ninja orchestra?

Were the musicians using the camouflage jutsu? He opened his Sharingan and threw back his constantly messy hair to see if he could find their chakra.

I wish we'd eloped.

Gai tapped his arm to fully get Kakashi's attention. Everyone was standing, facing to the rear of where they were, as smiles broke out at seeing Kakashi's ninken proudly trotting to them, all wearing black with the Hatake Clan insignia on their clothes. They were led by Pakkun and - Kakashi groaned - chibi-Kurama who he couldn't believe was wearing a black little number similar to Pakkun's, only it had both the Hatake and Uzumaki crests emblazoned on it. Just when the ninken and little orange nightmare took their places on either side of the center aisle, there was a loud POOF and the entire area was surrounded by toads: hundreds of them.

Dear God... Well, he wouldn't get married without his summons, either: it was just that a good amount of the toads were so incredibly large!

Kakashi choked. Oh crap: the tailed beasts were here now, too, sitting quietly behind the toads. No wonder they had to take out and redo so much of the forest last week. Although all the village leaders were here, Kakashi wondered if the Leaf would be in trouble for temporarily re-gathering the bijuu. That's when he saw the television cameras.

"If you run, I'll kill you," Tsunade promised in a whisper. She'd noticed that the man was freaking out; he might look fine to most people, but she'd known him since she helped bring him into this world, after all.

Hinata appeared in a lovely lavender formal kimono between the new rows of Sakura trees, which shouldn't even be in bloom this time of year, on the perfectly manicured lawn that the attendees were standing or seated upon in white chairs. Hinata's hair was up in a lovely bun, where it was looped around a huge lily.

Sakura appeared in a lovely pink formal kimono, the bottom of which had bold red flowers of various kinds, although sakura blooms were dominant, fittingly enough. She strolled down the aisle, smiling at everyone, as she followed the Hyuuga Clan Head. Her hair was also styled in an updo, and she had a lily in her hair as well.

It was then that he noticed the four seats in the front row, two on each side of what he guessed should separate the bride and groom. He had to look away to avoid choking back tears at seeing pictures of his and Naruto's parents in each seat. Although he'd spent a few hours at the Stone and his father's gravestone this morning, he felt the need to once again pray for his union with Naruto to be long and filled with happiness, despite that he felt somewhere deep inside him that he didn't deserve this.

"Are you with me, Father? Today's - today's the happiest day of my life!" Kakashi had to clear his throat as he sent a prayer up toward the mother who had died birthing him and was caressed by warm winds. Looking toward the photos on Naruto's side of the aisle, he took a deep, cleansing breath, inhaling the delicate scent of cherry blossoms.

"Sensei... I promise to love and take care of your daughter with everything I have," he tried to relay to Naru's father, or his picture, before nodding at Sakura as she finally took her place. It seemed that the wedding was a mix of East and West traditions: he really should have asked for a detailed report about all of this before. "Can you help me out, Kushina-nee? I've never been good with anything like this and I don't want to disappoint Naruto…"

His breath was taken away as his bride came into view from afar.


Minutes earlier -

"Gah! Naruto! You look beautiful; stop picking at your hair!" Iruka scolded as he grabbed his little sister's hands.

"The braids and jewelry and stuff are getting all messed up in this dumb hood," Naruto slapped Iruka back before reaching up toward her hair so that she could carefully scratch her scalp. The "giant-ass hood," as she called it to any and everyone, dropped down once again against the woman's back.

"Naruto! I will... I will - give you DETENTION if you don't stop fidgeting! Your hair is lovely and you didn't have to wear it this way in the first place if..."

"Yes, I did! It's an Uzushio tradition, and I'm the last, 'ttebayo!"

"Oh, I didn't realize that. Yeep!" Iruka yelped, turning toward the Hokage Mountain. "Gomennasai, Yondaime-sama, Kushina-sama," he bowed deeply. "It's just that your daughter is being a brat... Oh, Kami, I just called you a brat to your super-parents: I'm going to hell," he nearly swayed for a moment before getting aggravated again. "And you made me!"

"I didn't!"

"It's time Naruto," Iruka said firmly as he grabbed the blonde's shoulders tightly, his eyes wide and looking more terrified than Naruto ever remembered. "Sakura-chan's reached her spot, so it's our turn now." She nodded at him but looked sick as he placed the giant-ass hood back on her head properly. "You know, if any bride needed to hide her horns, it's you, Naruto."

"Ha. Ha," Naru snarked right back. "Iruka-sensei, thank you for doing this. Can you tell me the truth about - something?" She tried not to bite her lip since she would mess up her makeup - something that had been forced on her today. "Do I - do I look frumpy or like, inferior or something?"

"Naruto! Is that what you've been worried about all morning? You - oh, Naruto," Iruka sighed with a rather fatherly smile on his face, "you have to be the most beautiful bride I've ever seen." Naruto blushed and was about to chew her now perfectly manicured orange fingernail before thinking better of it and pulling her finger away from her mouth.

"It's not just that, ya know... But what I really wonder is - is that baa-chan's Killing Intent? Alright, let's go sensei." She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer to not screw up her chance at happiness - or more importantly, Kakashi's happiness - anytime soon, before taking Iruka's arm and straightening to her full height. "Everything will be okay, right Iruka-sensei?" Naru asked quietly as they made their way to the new edge of the forest.

Iruka had never heard his little sister - or even what he'd thought at one time was his little brother - sound more vulnerable. Even if his soon-to-be "brother-in-law" was that pervert, Iruka had realized over most of Naruto's adult life how much the Rokudaime was in love with the younger blonde. Plus the perv was a good friend of his, although he often pretended otherwise. "Everything will be fine, Naru-chan." He took a few more steps and nearly fell over at seeing so many people seated, and tried to school his expression at seeing all those toads and bijuu beyond them. Kami-sama! If only I'd known what I was getting myself into when I began teaching and chasing this little brat around...

I wouldn't change a thing.


Iruka handed Kakashi off with a glare that matched the Godaime's and returned to the seat that was...

Dear Lord, Iruka thought as he paused and took a deep breath before sitting down.

His honored seat was right next to the chair that held a slightly different version of the Yondaime Hokage's official picture. The man had a hint of a smile in this one, and next to it was the picture of a woman that Iruka really did remember. Kushina-sama's smiling face looked just the way he remembered when he was a child, and he once again scolded himself for not realizing who Naruto's parents were upon meeting "him" in class more than a decade and a half before. It was so obvious!

Naruto didn't see anyone other than Kakashi while she walked through the Sakura trees with her sensei - although she certainly realized that the toads and her friends, the bijuu, were there, too. They'd earlier been talking amongst themselves excitedly in her mindscape, but had become quiet - although she could still feel their wild energy - about an hour ago.

Kakashi was... Holy cow. He looked like a super-sexy version of an old-time samurai in that floor-length black, silver, and blue getup with its deep red lining and trim. She pinched herself to see if she was dreaming. His hair was all over the place just like after they'd have sex, but she could tell that he had tried to comb it into behaving. That was impossible, she was happy to know. He was gazing at her with such a tender look on his masked face, taking her in with his Sharingan...

Each of them remembered what they'd promised, the vows they repeated back to Tsunade, but both were dazed. They exchanged rings on white-gold chains; he gave her his mother's ring, while she gifted him with her father's wedding ring. It was even on the chain her father had worn around his neck after marrying her mother. Kakashi recognized it immediately as his eyes widened, and Naruto's own tears fell as she saw her almost-husband's eyes tear up. He didn't cry, though, and she knew why...

So strong, Naruto thought. You don't have to be so strong with me all the time, Kakashi; I'm here to support you. She heard someone clear his or her throat.

"Yes. Well. Moving on," Tsunade said with some degree of amusement.

"Did - did I say that out loud?!" Naruto said in a horrified little voice.

"You did," the Godaime and Rokudaime Hokage replied as one. If anything, Kakashi looked even happier and more at peace.

She sort of realized that the two of them had sipped the sake from three cups, but couldn't remember what was supposed to happen after that. Or anything else, really.

He placed a long scarf around her neck that had his clan symbol on one side, and then his lips were on hers, his strong arms holding her up as he dipped her nearly down to the ground. Naruto faintly heard that people were cheering and finally broke from her husband - it seemed like the ceremony was over - and all too soon he'd pulled both her and his mask up, the latter to the dismay of many.

Tsunade had to use a jutsu to make her voice be heard. "Congratulations to the Rokudaime Hokage, Hatake Kakashi, and his newly wedded wife, Uzumaki-Namikaze-Hatake Naruto, Princess of Konohagakure and Uzushiogakure!"

"Whoa," Naruto whispered, "That's a mouthful," she continued in apprehension. Kakashi couldn't help but laugh but nodded once in agreement, his eyes sparkling as he held her close to him. "Let's just say I'm Hatake Naruto, 'ttebayo."