DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.


Thinking (or flashbacks, etc.)

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking


15 years and 6 months later...

Raijin Hatake knew that today was the day he was going to die. He remade his bed and wished that he had the Sharingan so that he could record every little thing that was in his family's home: especially the basement that he shared with his twin brother. They'd jutsu-ed and sealed the place to be exactly what they wanted it to be: each of them now had separate bedrooms, with two extra for when all their friends came over, plus they had a separate study and another room to work on seals. The new rooms, weight room, and main room/man cave that they could rarely get their father out of after he'd had plumbing installed down here were just perfect.

Having the Sharingan wouldn't help after death, though. He was pretty certain of that.

Why oh why had they let Sarada and Shikadai drag them to the Jonin exams? Really, it was sensei's fault for allowing them to do it. Damn you, Tenzo-sensei! When Mom kills me because of you, she'll be so sad then kill you, too. Tenzo-sensei was really the one that should suffer his mother's wrath more than anyone.

After Tenzo-sensei's death, his mother would be forced to take The Hat, which would probably piss her off even more, whether Mom is technically a diplomat or not.

"Maa, why so glum?" Raijin's twin brother, Biko, asked as he glanced up from his father's orange book. Biko was really skating on thin ice...

Playing with death like that: you dumbass, Raijin thought as he glanced up the stairs and stretched his senses to make sure no one else was home. He picked up the last portrait his large family had taken together along with all of their ninken and chibi-Kurama, plus a few toads that would fit in the frame. Most of Raijin's friends were either only children or had only one sibling to concern themselves with. He had to deal with eight siblings - or he would once his mother delivered her triplets. Supposedly this was "the last time I'm carrying your kits, Pervert," as she put it when she nearly broke their father at finding out that she was carrying multiple children again. She'd said that before, though.

Good God: his mother was frightening. He'd never forget...

Kuebiko closed his pervy book and frowned at his brother from behind his mask. Now that his father was only hiding behind a beard that made him look like Santa Clause, he committed to The Just Cause. ("Why are you wearing a mask?" The proper Hatake response: "Maa, just 'Cause.") "Rai, I don't know what you're imagining, but knock it off. Your chakra's spiking then going into what feels like depression. Stop being a baby: Mom and Dad will get it." He stood up and stretched lazily. "Mom's such a softy, anyway. Let's just get it over with."

Raijin gawked at his twin's misplaced confidence then glared at his brother when he popped his chin to get him to shut his mouth. It was at times like this that he could totally see why his brothers wore masks. Their six-year-old sisters, Mina and Saki, didn't have a choice. The girls were lucky when their father didn't cover them with ski masks and wide cloaks. Being beautiful little girls had nearly driven their overprotective father insane. Actually, Kakashi Hatake was pretty crazy and had been for as long as he could remember.

"Maa, maa, Raiji-chan! The best shinobi are just a little quirky; that's all! No need to worry!"

"Dude, seriously," Keubiko said as he pulled his brother outside and resealed their home's entry. "You're worried about nothing. I mean, sure," he added as a large lump filled his throat, "Mom - and Dad, maybe - will be pissed that we took the exam before we're 18." He unconsciously ground his teeth together as they approached the huge sealing array that protected and hid their home, although everyone that mattered pretty much knew where it was. "They'll be glad we survived it, ya know?"

Stepping out of the barrier, Raijin closed his eyes and got ready to sunshin to the Tower. He could feel that his brother was worried, to put it mildly, now, too. The anxiety disorder that they inherited from their father was really palpable sometimes, especially when they were both dealing with it simultaneously. "We should've told them we weren't really on a mission," he mumbled as he looked back at his house for what he felt was the last time.

"Maa, maa, Rai-kun; what's the worst they can do?" Biko replied with his version of his dad's happy eye smile. He definitely wasn't feeling it, though.

Keubiko hadn't seen what HE had seen long ago, Raijin knew. ...That time that he and his brother were kidnapped, their pregnant mother - who was on FIRE - and her clones had arrived long before his father; her clones holding the boys firmly and asking them to close their eyes. Keubiko, the heir and slightly more obedient of the twins, had done just that. Raijin, though, had peeked. He saw his mother in what he'd read in books was her "full Kyuubi mode," her eyes yellow with red cross symbols rather than pupils, giant Rasengans in her hands, plus different versions of them in each of her nine tails. She and her clones decimated the kidnappers - a group calling themselves "Taka" - with extreme prejudice.

He and his brother nodded at each other in resignation as they sunshinned to the Tower.


Their father was sitting on top of the Shodai's desk with his arms crossed, glaring at their sensei. His mother was - Oh no! It was worse than death! She was wiping real tears away!

"Care to explain why you lied to us?" Kakashi asked dryly.

Both boys began to try to speak but shuddered at seeing Tenzo's bruised and broken body in the corner of the room. Sarada was there, too, looking on edge while Uncle Lee and Aunt Sakura slowly paced back and forth. They were certain they heard the word, "unyouthful" being muttered repeatedly. Uncle Shikamaru and Shikadai were just sitting there, the older Nara appeared to be near asleep while the boys' best friend was yawning. Aunt Sakura took a moment to heal Tenzo, then hit him again.

They were just lucky Aunt Temari was in Suna.

"I think I understand, 'ttebayo. You know we only wanted to protect you boys, right?" Naruto looked sadly into her sons' eyes - which were so much like her own - and sighed heavily before closing her eyes. She and Kakashi wanted to keep the kids just that: kids until they were recognized worldwide as adults, at least. "I'm just disappointed."

The oldest Hatake twins cringed - things were only getting worse - then glared at their little red-haired (with a huge silver streak on the side) sister, Mina, who snickered loudly at their pain from next to her fraternal twin. The little blonde with the dark blue eyes had her ski mask pushed up to her hairline as she played a video game. "Don't be mean, Mina-chan. They're just stupid-os," Saki said. Mina's big grey eyes blinked owlishly before she quickly nodded with a grin in agreement.

"Indeed," Kakashi sighed before grabbing the Nanadaime Hokage off the floor and roughly tossing him into his chair. "Maa, Hokage-sama. I think a spar's in order, ne?"

Tenzo had no choice but to agree. After all, sitting in that horrible seat of power was definitely not good for fitness, plus he really should've alerted the former and future Hokages of what their sons were up to. "Hai, senpai. Whatever you say." Sakura finished healing him just so he could go get his ass kicked again. Being the Hokage and a godfather was so troublesome.

"Achoo!"


A/N:
Aaaaand we're done! Other than updating the earlier chapters like I promised, of course! I'm planning to eventually do a sequel that focuses more on their family and kids' adventures but will be publishing that on the ao3 website - that's Archive of Our Own.

It's a lot easier to publish over there, and it's the only place I've found so far where a writer can give comments or responses to readers' questions and thoughts, chapter by chapter, whether they're registered or guests.

Thank you, EVERYONE, for reading my story and sticking with me until the end!