Time moves slow now. Every passing day feels like weeks. 7th and 8th grade felt like an eternity of loneliness and shame. I still don't have friends, but every once and a while someone will say: "is it true you got kidnapped by a serial killer?" That's it. I still see that Yoshida kid around. As strange as it is, he was the first to ask about the kidnapper. Since the news didn't state my name, it was considered rumor at first. The only reason anyone connected the dots was because the news didn't censor out my distinctly fading and fluffy hair. Yoshida told me he'd recognize it anywhere and still is the only one to say: "I'm sorry, man. You didn't deserve that. You seem like a nice dude." I know that comment is the bare minium, but it's stuck in my head after all this time. Almost 2 years ago. Now it's close to the end of 8th grade. Hm.

Every week has been the same for a while. Go to school, go home, get school work done, overthink everything, feel oozy, sleep, then start over. I hate it. Even school is boring. Unless it's the weekend, which is when I'm typically stuck at the doctor's. It started right after the kidnapping incident that my health started to decline. At first, they thought it was just stress or trauma, now it's tests and overnight stays. Random swelling, unable to breathe, no energy, my hair getting lighter, loss of interest in anything were all just the beginning. It wasn't until I started to get even skinnier that Aiko noticed. I get that I'm here out of safety and concern, but I hate it. The monitors, the doctors uncertainty, everything. I hate being in this hospital. It reminds me of after the plane crash. Also the few times before when I would get tested on as a kid. I wonder whatever happened to that.

Aiko never knows what to do or say, so she chooses nothing and silence. The doctors can say what the want, but I already know I'm not actually going to die like this. Yeah. The bad luck of having no friends will probably lead to good luck of surviving whatever this is. If it's anything. I'm sure I'll actually be healthy or something equally good. My luck cycle has been doing mini miracles the last 2 years. Like, I'd get something spilled on my school stuff in return of finding money. I'd get picked on, but I would also have a friendly cat want me to oet him. Little things that prove the existence of my weird curse.

Today, the doctor said they got some results back. Whatever that means. The vagueness is what really got me. It'll be okay. The luck gods won't let me get sick like that! Being in that blue room again. Waiting for the doctor to come back. Yet I'm not worried at all. On the other hand, Aiko is anxious. She's fidgeting with her purse while looking away from me. "Komaeda?" A doctor walks in with a clipboard. Her face blending in with all the other doctors I've been seeing. "That's me!" Staying positive, I smile at her. Fake smiling has become one of my specialties. Her face stays the same as she shuts the door behind her. "Well... we got some tests back, as you know. Are you ready to hear about them?" Hm. With a question like that, I know it can't be good. Although I promise to cling to hope, the concerning situation makes it feel sweeter. "Yes, of course." I continue to smile at her. Maybe to scare away the voice telling me to actually be concerned too.

With a sigh, the doctor tells us. "You have a couple of concerns here. Originally, we were testing for blood clotting, but... It seems you have Malignant Lymphoma." Aiko's hand covers her mouth after a gasp. Lymphoma? "What even is that? Is it... bad?" Aiko asks with a mix of both anger and panic. I'm sure myself. "It's a type of cancer that starts in your immune system. Your bones are the biggest concern we have at the moment." The doctor looks at me with a professional look. She's probably used to telling people stuff like this everyday. Her professionalism only makes it worse for my guardian.

"I'm sorry." The doctor speaks after a second of silence. This definitely wasn't what I expected. I thought it'd be like nothing. Aiko shakes her head, probably trying to wrap her head around it. "Don't worry, there's treatment available for you. I understand it's a lot to take in, but here's some options." She gives Aiko a paper of different treatments. Chemotherapy, radiation, immunotherapy, and targeted therapy. Hm. I don't want any of it. I don't want to be in the hospital ever again. "Also, you have another diagnosis. We can talk about it some other time if needed." I shake my head. What good would waiting do? "No, it's okay. Let's hear it." Aiko hugs me as I speak, her chin resting on my hair.

"We also did some brain scans, in case of any complications. The front lobe of your brain has damages similar to Frontotemporal Dementia." I nod so she explains more. I never read medical stuff, but after this I'll have to start. I usually like reading about true crime or mystery. "It's a dementia that affects your language and behavior. So far it seems only your behavioral health is affected." Things get heated after a question. "Mrs. Tamaki, have you noticed any big behavioral changes in him?" They end up talking about how I use to open up more, show more emotion, and I was less of a shut in. I supoose that's also because of the most painful incident. They're talking about meds, treatments, a short life expectancy, but I'm not listening.

All of the discussion about me and I can only think of is what good will come from this. What could I possibly get from this? Maybe I can get an actual friend. Or possibly a cute boyfriend, that'd be amazing! Although I haven't told anyone about those feelings. Oh! It's gonna be Aiko accepting me, huh? That would definitely be worth this. More money? I don't think so. 14 years of life experience can't make me figure it out or guess well enough. Maybe I'll overcome the incurable dementia thing and save a lot of people. I don't know, but thinking about it has got me all excited. I hope whatever it is comes soon!