"Hello everybody and welcome to the special New Year's Eve edition of Kaoru's Toyland! Whoooooo!" Kaoru looked around, clearly the only one cheering and cleared her throat. "Sorry about that. They told me not to do it but I do what I want!" She laughed quietly and clapped her hands together once. "Anyway! As I was saying it's New Year's Eve and we have a special toy that we are selling to you today!"

She ran to the center of the stage, and picked up a very large box. "This is a special New Year's Eve toy! Whoo!" She lifted her hands over her head and started twirling around. "This is so exciting!"

"Kaoru! Really?" the director yelled over the speakers.

"I'm just so excited!" Kaoru yelled back. "It's like the day when I realized the Wile E. Coyote could catch that mean ol' roadrunner if he hired Sonic to do the job for him!"

The was silence for a few seconds before the director said, "You know, that just might work..."

"Of course it will!" Kaoru screamed. "I was so proud of myself when I thought of that one! Anyway, back to the show! This present is something that everyone should have at their New Year's party! But before we get to that...Cream! Can you bring me my hat, please?

Cream ran across the stage and handed Kaoru a ridiculously large New Year's hat. Kaoru put it on her head and then removed her jacket, revealing a brightly colored New Year's shirt.

"Kaoru," Cream said, "Don't you think you're going a little overboard?"

"Of course not! It's New Year's Eve!" Kaoru yelled loudly. "Now! Let's get on with it!"

She ran over to the box and tore it open. Before she pulled the toy out of the box she whirled around to face the camera and smiled. "Now, as we all know, New Year's is a couple's holiday. Couple's gather together and wait for that first kiss of the year at the end of the count down, and sometimes there may be some issue with Ex-Girlfriends showing up to the party and trying to steal that first to make your woman angry with you. 'Cause let's face it, guys. Women are crazy for no reason."

A few stage hands clapped and cheered from behind the camera in agreement. Kaoru threw a gleeful look their way and continued. "So, on this day, some people may feel a little stressed when it comes to Ex girlfriends and this is exactly what this toy is for!"

Kaoru pulled the toy out of the box and set it on the floor in front of her. It was a large Amy. The eyes were set in an angry glare and the hammer was in her hands, ready for action.

Cream, who was still standing on stage, glanced at it nervously. "Umm, Kaoru, I suddenly don't think this is a very good idea."

"Don't worry about it, Cream. I have everything under control." She looked back into the camera. "This is Amy: I'm Glad She's Not My Ex-Girlfriend! And she will make all of you appreciate your Ex-girlfriends and not mind them terrorizing your life."

Cream ran off stage. "I'm going to get as for away from here as possible," she mumbled, "I don't like where this is going."

"Has your ex-girlfriend been stalking you? Following you to work and the grocery store, trying to keep a tab on everything you are doing? Is it driving you mad? Well, no problem! All you have to do is buy this toy and let her show you what a real insane ex-girlfriend is like. To get her up and running you look her in the eye and say, 'It's not me. It's you.' And she will go completely insane! She will flip out and prove how sane your own ex is! Now let's get some videos of of happy costumers, yeah?"


"Oh my god!" An adult rabbit yelled, watching the Amy toy go insane. "My ex girlfriend had been breaking into my house and falling asleep on my couch every night, so I bought this toy to make me feel better about all of it. I said the magic words and this machine went crazy and completely destroyed my car! It reminded me of that one country song! I'm so glad that she is not my ex-girlfriend. Now I don't care if my girlfriend breaks in anymore! As long as she doesn't lose her mind, of course!"

The screen switched to a young dog. "My ex-girlfriend had been following me and my current girlfriend around for weeks. It was driving me insane! One day I saw her follow me into the pool hall we were at. I bought the Amy toy and it destroyed the pool hall! It was so weird! It kind of reminded me of a country song! I'm glad she ain't my ex-girlfriend." His girlfriend called him and he turned and ran away from the camera.


"Our toy is getting these kind of results from everyone who is buying it. People are loving it! You will never have ex girlfriend problems every again! So buy one today for your New Years eve party and appreciate who your ex girlfriends are! And remember, you can have this for the low low price of 6 broken hearts! It's a bargain!" Kaoru waved to the camera. "Good bye everyone! And remember! We are not responsible for any property or physical damage!" Kaoru stroked the toys hand. "Amy, I think this show needs a theme song."


A/N

I'd like to thank Dyslexic-Carmie for this idea.

Happy New Year everyone! Thanks a bunch for reading my story.

First country song: Before he Cheats
Second: Crazy Ex Girlfriend

Reviews take 30 seconds but make my whole day!

Have a nice night everyone.