"Hi, friends! I'm Kaoru the Hare, this is Kaoru's Toyland, and it's Shadow Appreciation Week!" Kaoru cheered loudly and bounced on the balls of her feet. "Everyone loves Shadow and Shadow...tolerates...most people...Yay!"
Kaoru went behind the curtain at the back of the stage and pulled out a Shadow that was a few inches taller than the original Shadow. He was wearing a tux and looked quite dapper. "So, sometimes you need a date and can't get one! Just think about it! You haven't been home in a while and you were invited to your younger sister's wedding and your mom is just dying to meet your current boyfriend. The only problem is...you don't have a boyfriend!" She pouted a bit. "Apparently mothers do that...Or what about high school reunions or the weddings of old classmates? You don't want to look lame, so you need someone to pass off as your date."
"Okay! I'm sure you've all guessed it by now. We are offering this new toy, Shadow: Rent A Date!" She grabbed the Shadow's hand and held it firmly in yours. "It's for those people that know the only way to get their over-bearing mother off of their back is to pretend like you are engaged to the man of your dreams. For those people who refuse to be embarrassed and alone for yet another wedding."
She dropped his hand and gestured toward him like Vanna White. "As you can see here, this Shadow toy is a little taller than the real Shadow. This is because my extensive studies show that most ladies like it when their boyfriends are taller than them. And you are probably also wondering why I chose Shadow to be the date toy. Well, my extensive studies have also shown that women like men who are mysterious...and sensitive...and wonderful...and..."
""But Kaoru! I don't need a date! My mother isn't over-bearing! I'm not easily embarrassed by my life as a single woman in front of all my old friends! How can this toy possibly appeal to me?" You are probably asking yourself. Well, the answer is simple! Our Shadow also comes in a casual version that is named. Shadow: Rent a Friend!"
She ran behind the curtains and returned with a Shadow that was wearing a T-shirt that said "All U need is Hugs!" "So you had a bad day at work and need someone to console you. You're best friend just flaked out on you so she can go party with her boyfriend on the sketchy side of town and now you have no one to watch The Little Mermaid with. That isn't a problem when you have a rented friend for the night!"
Kaoru put her arms over the Shadows' shoulders and smiled brightly. "So for one night, these Shadows will become your best friend or date and it's for that low low price that I mentioned earlier. And no, it isn't too expensive. I mean, can you really put a price on love or friendship?"
"Now, it's time for that little big of 'extra fun' that we are always talking about on Kaoru's Toyland. We all know that 'real friends' will tell you the truth and let you know when you are doing something strange...well...these Shadows take it to the next level! These Shadows will actually make fun of you! So let's hear about it from our happy customers!"
"What I don't understand, Melissa, is why he hasn't popped the question yet!" Some woman was yelling to her 25 year old daughter. "Don't you want to get married? If you wanted to get married you would've gotten married by now! You are 23 years old? You do not need a college degree. A woman's only goal should be to get married and have children. Isn't that what you believe?"
"Yes, mother," the daughter said to her, staring at the ground.
Shadow was studying his hands. "It's because of that stupid way she twirls her hair around her finger. And probably the fact that she can't sit down at a table without having three servings of ice cream. And the way that she pops her gum. It's amazing that I'm here with her at all. She's embarrassing."
"Hahaha! Oh-Em-Gee! Look at your shoes!" a shadow was laughing at a girl with Dorothy shoes. "They are like sooooooooo sparkly! How can you stand to look at things so fricken sparkly!" On the tv behind him, The Wizard of Oz was on.
"SHUT UP SHUT UP!" A girl with braids yelled at a Shadow doll who was leaning against the wall across from her. "He's so mean!" the girl yelled. "He said my braids make me look 12 years old! I'm a 32 year old woman! AND MY BRAIDS ARE ADORABLE! MY MOTHER BRAIDS MY HAIR EVERY NIGHT AND SHE THINKS THAT THE BRAIDS ARE FABULOUS AND FASHION FORWARD!"
"As you can see, the toy is totally worth it. He acts just like the real Shadow! And trust me, going on a date with him would be so awesome." Kaoru batted her eyelashes. "So come on down to Kaoru's Toyland today and pick up your very own Shadow: Rent a Date/Friend. We at Kaoru's Toyland are not responsible for hurt feelings, tongues turning blue, or fingers falling off. Also, you probably shouldn't piss off the Shadow Doll or he'll be someone worthy of an "I'm glad he's not my ex boyfriend," toy."
"Bye everyone! See you tomorrow!"
A/N
I'm not really sure I like this chapter. I liked the toy idea but I think my brain may have been just a little too burnt out. Thanks bunches to Dyslexic-Carmie and -keyblade-bearer for the toy ideas. I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter!
Please review.
