A shadow that writes fortunes for fortune cookies
When the screen faded in on the set Cream and Star were wearing a Kimono and dancing around on the stage. "Oh! It started! Shh!" Cream hissed at Star.
"Oh hi, Jimmy!" Cream said as if she were a bad actor reading off of a script. "These fortune cookies are lame. Mine says that I will be the king of Ireland! What a horrible fortune!"
"I know, Johnny!" Star said, in an equally bad acting voice. "Mine says that I'll be a millionaire! Which is even worse! I never want to have another fortune cookie ever again!"
Kaoru ran on stage. "Has this ever happened to you?"
"Whoa!" Star said. "Who are you random rabbit?"
"I'm the answer to your prayers! I am the creator of awesome fortune cookies!"
"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Cream asked her.
"Well, I am the Host and Toymaker of Kaoru's Toyland and I've made a fabulous fortune cookie toy! Here's my card!" Kaoru reached into the pocket of her hoody and pulled a card from her pocket, handing it to Star.
"This is gift card for a tanning salon," she said, reading it.
"No matter! Because I can show you my fortune cookies right now!" Kaoru reached into the pockets of her hoody and produced five fortune cookies all with a Shadow logo on the side. "Yesterday, I made a Shadow doll and locked him in a fortune cookie factory. Now the wonderfully dark and deep Shadow is being forced to write fortune cookies!"
She held out her hands so that Cream and Star could each pick a cookie. "So, what do they say?" she asked excitedly.
Cream opened hers and read the fortune aloud. "I see you making me a sandwich. No. Really. Go make me a sandwich." She stayed silent for a few minutes reading the fortune to herself. "Oh...Wow! That's...the best fortune in the whole wide world!"
"I see a box of chocolates in your future," Star read, "Too bad your sister will eat them...Ah man! That sucks! The fact that my sister is going to each my chocolates, not the fortune. The fortune is the best!"
Kaoru smiled widely and opened up her own cookie, dropping the cookie part on the floor. "You're really not that awesome." Kaoru crumpled hers up and threw it on the floor. "No fair! Mine was broken! I should pay him enough so that my fortunes don't end up all broken and stuff!"
"You pay him?" Cream asked, slightly surprised.
"No! But I am his master and he should make me the best fortunes!" Kaoru crossed her arms over her chest and started to pout.
"Do we really have time for that?" Cream asked, walking off of the stage.
"No! So, when you walk into Kaoru's Toyland you will see that there are 5 large bins full of fortune cookies. You go in, grab a bag with Shadow's face on it, dig your hands around in the bins, pick 10 fortune cookies, and take your bag to the checkout counter. You are only allowed to buy ten cookies at a time! Then cookies should cost 494,490,395,329 pin wheels! The fortune cookies come in Chocolate, Banana blast, Vanilla, Cream Cheese, Cookie Dough, Jalapeno, Salsa, Bacon Cheddar, Dr. Pepper, Paprika, Grass, Bottom of the shoe, Bathroom floor, butterscotch, lima bean, lime, lemon, lemon drop, lemon meringue, lemon scented candle, apple pie, apple strudel, apple pound cake, apple sause, apple juice, dirt, earwax, German chocolate cake, guacamole, coffee, espresso, feather pillow, carbonated, sea water, gumbo, shrimp, chicken, cherry, pineapple, eyeball, toe jam, salt, taco, pepper, garlic, cannibal, and so many more flavors!"
"Well, we are about halfway done with the show, so it's time to have some videos of our happy customers! Hit it!"
Some woman was sitting on floor, ripping open a fortune cookie. She tossed the cookie on the floor and held the fortune close to her face. "Ow...Stop pressing so hard." The woman dropped the fortune to the floor. "Oh my goodness! I am so sorry!" she apologized to the fortune. "I didn't mean to hold you so hard! It's just that I shake a lot and I have to be able to hold you steady! And I'm sorry for putting you close to my face! I know I probably breathed on you or something, but I lost my glasses and I can't really see. Hello? Are you ignoring me now?"
"I see a great upheaval and disaster upon the Earth. Oh. You don't make it." The woman that was holding the fortune started to breathe heavily. "Oh...Oh...I...I have...I can't..." he hand was on her chest. "I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" she sobbed loudly. "I'm such a good person! Yesterday, when I was driving down the street I gave a filthy hobo the last bite of my cheeseburger! He's so dirty! Don't you understand that! He got mud all over my new manicure! Why do I have to die? Someone who didn't give a hobo the last bite of their burger should die instead!"
A young green dog walked up to a vending machine and put in a dollar. "Now let's see..." he mumbled to himself. "What do I want...Oh...They're out of cheetohs..." he pressed the change return and took out the money. "WHAT! They only gave me 75 cents back! Where's my other quart...Oh, here it is. Okay." He pocketed the money and walked away.
"A cavalcade of zombie babies are coming to eat your brains," Kaoru read aloud. "That's...awesome! I would love to meet zombie babies!" She sighed happily, "I'm so glad I made this toy." She ripped open another fortune cookie, "I don't give a flying, fat-free fladoodle about your future!" Kaoru threw it on the ground and stomped on it. "I hate this toy!" She stopped for a moment. "Just because I hate it doesn't mean that you shouldn't come buy it. Because you should. It's a wonderful toy and I guarantee that you will love it. Yes? Great!"
"Now, as everyone should know we are not responsible for that fact that you may start foaming at the mouth if you actually eat the cookie part of this toy. So come on down to Kaoru's Toyland today to get your own Shadow: Fortune Cookies!"
A/n
Carmen gave me this idea. Just saying. Do you have anything to add Carmen?
C/N
And then if he's really mad, he gets his southern accent back.
