Kaoru was standing on stage wearing a sweater vest. Her hands were clasped in front of her and she had on a creepy smile. "Hello boys and girls. Welcome to another episode of Kaoru's Toyland. You might remember me from some other documentaries like How to Pop Your Pimples and How to Get That Thing Out of Your Nose. Well today we are going to have a special called How to Have a Tea Party."
Star ran across the stage and opened the curtains, revealing a small table with small chairs all set up with a small tea set. She put on a large flowery hat and sat down in one of the chairs.
"Many people in the world think that tea parties are for little girls that like to dress up and drink pretend tea. Well today I am here to tell you that tea parties can be for manly men that like to drink real tea! Like the British! Of course, no one British is here today so you are going to have to settle for a normal manly man. Shadow!"
A Shadow doll came out, walking on stage. He was wearing a tuxedo with tails and elegant white gloves.
"That's not the clothes I put on you!" Kaoru yelled at Shadow before turning to Cream. "That is not the clothes I put on him! Who changed his clothes?"
"Kaoru, you can't really expect Shadow, even if it's just a doll, to wear the clothes you had on him. I had Star change him, though I didn't really expect her to put him in this..."
"Of course I expect Shadow to...This will have to do for now. Star! Go get another one, we'll have them both at the tea party. I'll start offering this outfit as a part of the toy, too. Someone needs to call the factory and have them mass producing tuxedos." Kaoru was clearly frustrated with what was happening on the show.
Star ran out of the back stage door and Cream was heard giving instructions to a few stage hands that shortly followed after Star. As everyone was rushing around stage, Kaoru started talking to the Shadow toy and guided him to the table. She pulled out his chair for him and poured him a cup of tea.
"Always remember that your guest should be taken care of. In this instance, Shadow is the guest and deserves to be served tea since he arrived on time, even if we aren't ready. Now someone of you may be asking, 'But Kaoru, why would you make a toy where Shadow was a tea party guest?' That's an easy question to answer unnamed viewer. You all know as well as I do that while filming Free Riders Shadow was unable to speak for who knows what reason and so he had to have someone voice act for him. And all of you know that this voice actor really didn't sound anything like the real Shadow, but he sure did make a great Shadow. He sounded suave and dark and mysterious and sometimes even a little British which gave me the idea of a tea drinking Shadow."
She sat down in the chair across from Shadow and continued talking. "Using some technology that Tails so graciously was able to figure out for me, I was able to remove the voice from the game and make it more British without actually removing the suaveness, darkness, or mysteriousness from the voice. This means I have created the perfect Tea Time companion. It's easier to show you than to tell you!"
"Tea Time Shadow? Yeah. I heard of that. I think my husband bought it for our daughter." The young woman stepped out of the doorway to let in the camera crew and gestured down the doll where a little girl was heard crying. The crew ran down the hallway and bursts into the little girl's room. She was curled in a corner with her hands over her ears. Tea was dripping from the walls and a set was lying on the floor. Near the window of the little girl's room Shadow was yelling "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW THE QUEEN? YOU THINK YOU CAN SIP THE QUEEN'S DRINK WITHOUT KNOWING HER PERSONALLY? WHAT THE MESS IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
"And honestly I don't think she could be more wrong," Shadow was saying to a giggling child. "If she wanted to wear the blue dress she should've worn the blue dress. She can't let others dictate what she's going to wear. And between you and me, that purple dress was absolutely horrifying." Shadow took a sip of the tea and sighed with satisfaction. "If she can't make her own choices she's going to be left behind in this world, believe you me it is almost written in stone."
The last video showed a Shadow in a flowery dress with a little blue hat on. The hat had a daisy on the front and Shadow was string at himself in a spoon. "Quite right, quite right. I do think there should be another flower on this house. It is just incomplete without it. Where do you think I can get another flower?"
"I don't know, Shadow, I..."
"DON'T YOU GET IT?" Shadow yelled, throwing tea in his host's face. "I AM MRS. NIZBET!"
"And all of this can be yours for only 489,349,409,483 blood cells! They don't have to be yours! Remember everyone don't make Shadow angry and...well, there's something new occurring with the British-sounding Shadow. Make sure the British Shadow goes no where near the regular Shadow toys because the British Shadow will start an argument about how the British are better than American's and that the toy market should be completely dominated by British toys. And then the issues of the games being taken over by the British...It's a huge mess. And never put the two together on July 4th. Really, it's a mess." Kaoru shook her head. "Anyway! Doesn't matter! Tea Time instructions come with the toy. Please read all warnings because we are not responsible for 3rd degree burns!"
"That's all we have time for today at Kaoru's Toyland! Bye everyone!"
A/N
Of course, this is where I thank the people who have better ideas than I do. In this case, BinaryHedgehog. Thanks for the idea of a Tea Time Shadow and please get rid of the Sonic I'm Waiting doll. He's driving me insane!
