"Okay, everyone! Welcome to Kaoru's Toyland where we make all of your dreams a reality! We try our hardest to make what our research said will be the toys you will most likely appreciate a solidified piece of accomplishment! But I'm giving you this introduction for no real reason because we all know that you know who I am and there isn't much for me to tell you!"

Kaoru clapped for a few moments, obviously proud of her popularity. "We are coming up to the end of Shadow appreciation week and there is one more toy we will be introducing, but before we get to that I want to show you a small clip that aired on the news last week, in case you missed it. First, you should let me explain. A while back we had critics here at Kaoru's Toyland and it was pretty much a big mess. Well, a few of those critics have TV shows and I picked my favorite clip and sent it to the news station anonymously. Of course, they aired it because I'm s wonderful person."

Kaoru's tilted her head to the side and thought for a moment. "Come to think of it, I've been getting a lot of great press lately...Anyway, let's roll that clip!"


"I don't really understand why so many people are in love with this store, with this show," the news anchor was telling her co-anchor. "The host and so called 'toymaker' is down right insane. Her currencies don't make sense and the toys have horrible malfunctions that can destroy whole cities? And yet, people continue to shop there. What do you think is so appealing to all of her viewers and fans?"

"One of the things I've heard people say is that she's funny," her male co-anchor commented. "She has this funny innocence about her. Some people are saying that her ideas are so ridiculous that they can't help but buy her toys, because how bad can they really be? They turn out ten times worse than what she shows and no one complains because she warned them. Then they are saying that the toys are appealing because they are hilariously brilliant. Who else would think of these things? And apparently there are many more reasons to watch this show. In fact, we've received a tape yesterday. Let's play the clip."

"And that's why I was so excited to visit the show and see it in action!" an excited young girl was yelling. "I mean, who wouldn't want to meet The Kaoru of Kaoru's Toyland. She's charismatic and wonderful. And oh em gee. Her and Shadow make the cutest couple. That's the main reason I wanted to go. I was hoping Shadow would be there and I would be able to witness their chemistry! He wasn't though! Slightly disappointed but I can't complain. The show is amazing! I've bought every single toy they have every sold!" She screamed in fangirl voice and danced around excitedly. "The cutest couple!"

The camera switched back to the news anchors, and the woman was shaking her head. "So young girls like the show because of the romance on it?"

The man laughed. "Of course not! There is absolutely no romance on this show whatsoever! Fans are taking what they see and making things up! It's like bad fanfiction! We have no idea what is going on!"

"Well hopefully one day this show will be put to an end! It's an abomination and deserves to be removed from the air! We'll talk about the petition for that after the break."


"Amazing, right?" Kaoru laughed. "It always tickles me when people who don't watch my show comment on it. Anyway! I promised a new toy, didn't I? Introducing the last toy of Shadow Appreciation Week, Shadow: Accent Extraordinaire!"

Star ran across the stage, bringing out a Shadow do that was wearing a beret and a monocle. He was holding a pizza in one hand and had chopsticks on the other. "This Shadow is going on sell for 38,383,838 potato clocks!" Star spoke quickly. "He can speak on 65 different accents and can even act as your accent coach!"

"Need to speak in a southern accent for that new movie you want to be in? Want to learn a German accent so you can freak out the unknown numbers that call your cell phone? Want to learn a Chinese accent so you can yell at the people in your local Chinese restaurant for trying to pass off orange chicken as tangerine chicken? This toy is for you!"

"And not only that!" Star continued. "He's easy to turn on and easy to use! Just press his monocle and bam! He's on!" She pressed his monocle and took a step back.

"Holy moly!" Shadow said in an Italian accent. "That's-a good-a pizza!"

"You just let him know what accent you want to learn and he'll give you lessons!" Kaoru looked down at her watch. "Of course, we don't have time for a demonstration of that right now, but I will admit that this is one of my toys that doesn't have any extra fun. Doesn't that suck? The only weird thing about this toy is that he'll start yelling at you in many different languages if he thinks you aren't doing the accents good enough or if you mispronounce a word. It's fine though. Not really that bad. The scariest thing he can do to you is yell at you in German. Which, trust me, if you heard a German person, you'd understand! Scary language!"


a/n

There's a joke that goes "If you want to yell at a person, do it in German. They could be yelling 'I love you! Here are some flowers!' and I'd still pee myself." SO take that as you will.

Thanks to Sonic Speed Blue Blur 23 for giving me this idea.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please review.