Long chapter, no time to waste. She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is produced by Dreamworks Animation Television, and both She-Ra and He-Man are owned by Mattel. Enjoy.

Chapter 27: Avatar of Serpos

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Guard, Sir." Scorpia said politely to the armed sentry standing outside her cell. "I don't mean to be a worrywart or anything, but that guy with the robot arm got out of here pretty fast after he got that phone call, and he looked pretty shook. Which was especially alarming since he was in the middle of trying to cut a deal with me. So I guess what I want to ask you is, should I be alarmed?"

"I wouldn't worry about it." The guard replied in a serious but nonthreatening tone. "This isn't the first time King Hiss has dropped by unannounced."

"So who is this Hiss guy anyway? Sorry if that sounds like a dumb question."

"No, no, it's fine. You are new here after all. But anyway, short version, he's the supreme leader of all Snakemen."

"Okay, cool. And Snakemen are?"

"Big, mean and always hungry."

"Oh, I see." Scorpia replied, understanding but not satisfied. "You know, a vague statement like that usually comes with a story attached."

"Yeah, but it's a long one, and it contains materials not suitable for a delicate lady like yourself." The guard replied, blushing a little.

"Aww~ Well aren't you the little charmer." The arachnoid princess replied, blushing a little back. "Listen, super flattered, but I'm a lot tougher than I look. And besides, neither of us is going anywhere fast, so you might as well tell me."

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." He said, pausing briefly as he tried to figure out where to begin. "Well, I guess I'd better start from the beginning. You might not believe this, but Snakemen were the first species to reach sentience here on Eternia. Which might also make them the first in the universe, but don't quote me on that. Anyway, they founded Eternia's first civilization. Their ancestors were mapping stars and studying calculus while humans were still leaning how to walk erect."

"They don't sound all that scary to me."

"Yeah, well, that was millions of years ago. Modern Snakemen are a lot different. You see, when other species started forming their own civilizations, the ancient Snakemen became paranoid that the 'lesser creatures' would try to take what was theirs, so their society slowly became more and more militaristic. Nowadays, their entire culture revolves around two things; fighting and eating."

"Doesn't sound like much of a society to me. How does it work?"

"It's fairly simple. The Snakemen worship the ancient snake goddess Serpos, and as king, Hiss is believed to be the living link between her and the mortal world. So any order from him is, in their minds, the same as an order from Serpos, and anyone disobeys an order dies; painfully."

Scorpia gulped at the thought of that, but allowed the guard to continue.

"Snakemen are extremely aggressive by nature, even minor disagreements often escalate into violence. So to keep their city from getting wrecked all the time, King Hiss decreed that all arguments had to be settled in the Viper Pit; this huge public arena right next to the palace. If two snakes have an argument, they book a slot in the arena and the one who's still standing when it's over is the one who's right. As you can imagine, the place is booked almost around the clock."

"Yeesh. And I thought my home was nuts."

"Trust me, it's gets even more nuts. Physically speaking, Snakemen are the strongest species on the planet, at least on average, and there are numerous subspecies with bizarre and dangerous abilities; acid spit, hypnotic eyes, extendable limbs, the list goes on. But the scariest thing about them is their metabolism. They have to eat three times their own bodyweight every day or they'll slip into a coma and die. And they're not picky eaters, their stomachs can digest almost anything; animals, plants, even raw minerals if they have to, but their favorite food is sentient beings, preferably swallowed alive."

"Gag. Okay, that is so wrong" Scorpia commented while trying to keep her breakfast down. "These Snakemen sound like monsters."

"In a lot of ways, they are, but they're not invincible. They can be killed just like any other creature. And their so-called 'superior genes' come with a hefty cost."

"What do you mean?"

"On average, Snakemen can live to be about 1200 years old, but because of their long lifespans they don't have the same reproductive drive as other species. In fact, their sex drive is so low that they only mate once every forty years in a big public festival. Of course, a female can lay up to twenty-four eggs in a single birthing, so I guess it evens out."

"Twenty-four eggs? Man, I'm glad I'm not a Snakewoman."

"I wouldn't jinx it if I were you."

"What does that mean?"

"Well… this is kind of on a need to know basis, but what the hell. You see, the reason we call them Snakemen and not Snakepeople is because natural born Snakewomen are rare. In fact, only one egg out of every gross is female. So in order to keep the species from going extinct, they often recruit from outside sources"

"Okay… Listen, I'm probably gonna regret asking you this, but what do you mean by 'recruit'?"

"We're not exactly sure how it works, but they've developed a method for transforming females of other species into Snakewoman. And once they've been transformed, there's no going back. But on the bright side, if you can call it that, females are considered sacred in Snakeman society, so often these new converts spend the rest of their lives getting pampered and spoiled by their new husbands until they're too fat and complacent to resist anymore. They essentially have their spirits broken with kindness."

"Wow… that is seriously messed up. Like, on so many different levels."

"Tell me about it. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about those bastards setting foot in this palace."

"So why are they here? Is this like an invasion or something?"

"No, it's nothing like that. It… It's complicated." The guard said, pausing briefly to collect his thoughts. "A long time ago, King Hiss lost a fight to Captain Miro, Randor's father, and out of respect he swore that the Snakemen wouldn't try to takeover Eternia again until all of Miro's great grandchildren were dead. Hiss might be a lot of things, but he'd sooner kill himself than go back on his word."

"Oh, neat." Scorpia replied plainly. "So if they're not invading then why are they here?"

"I don't know, and I don't need to. My job right now is to keep you safe until Man-At-Arms gets back. So don't worry ma'am, you're in good hands."

"Oh, well… thanks, I guess. And you can just call me Scorpia, if you want." The arachnoid princess said awkwardly. "So… what's your name?"

"Orius." He replied politely. "But all my friends call me Mekaneck."

XXX

The atmosphere in the throne room was so tense it was almost suffocating. Adora hated these types of situations. Granted, King Hiss probably wasn't going to start anything, what with his oath and all, but still, all the saber rattling and passive aggressive comments, it just put her stomach in knots. Not to mention, the so called 'Avatar of Serpos' and his flunkies seriously gave her the creeps. It was something about the way they always looked at her; like they were trying to decide what kind of barbeque sauce to slather her in before swallowing her whole.

Shudder.

Anyway, the good news, if you could call it that, was that this time King Hiss had apparently decided to travel lite; bringing with him only his loyal bodyguard Squeeze. But even though he was severely outnumbered, Hiss was still very much in control. Adora severely doubted that they could take him; not even if she, Adam, Bow, Teela, Man-At-Arms and bother her parents all jumped him at once. So the best thing the group could do was stand by and let the serpent king have his say.

"I hate what you've done with this room." Hiss said in a calm, silklike voice that made Adora's blood run cold. "You're superior to most of your kind in many respects, Randor, but when it comes to interior design, you are severely lacking. Why, I remember the lavish parties I used to throw back when this was my palace. Such tasteful decorations we had then."

"With all due respect, oh great King Hiss, you have no right to complain. You gifted this palace and the surrounding city to my father as a sign of respect." Her dad replied casually; not giving Hiss the satisfaction of getting riled up. "And speaking of respect, I have already taken the liberty of preparing your usual offering. Six live bulls, extra fat, one for your vassal and one for each of your mouths. That is why you chose to deliver this message in person, rather than through the usual secure channels, isn't it? I've never met anyone so quick to snap up a free meal."

Squeeze leered venomously at the human king, but otherwise made no move; he didn't dare act without his master's permission. Bow nudged her shoulder, presumably to ask what her dad had meant by the 'one for each mouth' comment, but that explanation could wait until later.

"Very well, now that we've gotten the customary assertions of dominance out of the way, let's get right to the matter at hand." The serpent king said, never once losing his unsettling calm. "First, I express my deepest apologies to you, Princess Galatea, for missing your birthday party yesterday. I heard the festivities were most enjoyable."

"Don't mention it." The warrior princess replied, also trying not to give Hiss the satisfaction of riling her up. "And by the way, my name is Adora."

"Then I apologize once more. But I believe the information I impart to you today will more than make up for any unintended slights." King Hiss said before getting down to brass tacks. "Late last night, one of my intelligence officers intercepted an encrypted transmission from Snake Mountain. It would seem that Skeletor has placed an operative within the Spider Guild. An operative that now sits on the High Council and has bribed or blackmailed the other councilmen to do as he commands. Through him, Skeletor now commands the Spider Guild and by extension the entire Dark Hemisphere."

"So, that's why he's been so quiet lately." Man-At-Arms said uneasily. "He's been too busy basking in his new empire."

"Not exactly. Skeletor only cemented his control over the Guild last night. The real reason he's been absent low these many months is that he's been wrapped up in his latest pet project. He intends to open a portal to Etheria."

A sudden silence fell over the room.

Adora felt her heart stop for like half a second.

"I can sense a bit of skepticism in the air, but I assure you it's the truth." King Hiss continued without a trace of malice or deception in his voice. "Though I do not know the exact details, I know enough to be concerned. I know that Skeletor now controls the Spider Guild. I know that somehow, he has acquired an ancient portal generator and a detailed map of our lost Sister Planet. But most importantly, I know what he plans to do with them."

There was a short pause, presumably for dramatic effect; which Adora found most annoying.

"With the help of the Spider Guild, Skeletor intends to carve Etheria up into lots and sell them at auction to every criminal and warlord on the Dark Hemisphere."

"He can't do that!" Bow spoke up unexpectedly. "He doesn't own AAAKKKK!"

Evidently, Squeeze did not take kindly to this outburst, for before anyone could react, the tall Snakeman stretched his arm clear across the room, grabbed the young archer by the throat and pulled him close so he could glare at him at eyelevel.

"You do not interrupt when His Majesty speaks." Squeeze said in a deep and threatening tone. "You got that, Warm-Blood?"

"KAAKK! Got it…"

"Put the boy down, Squeeze. He's not worth the energy." King Hiss said casually, and his bodyguard promptly obeyed; dropping poor Bow like a sack of potatoes. "As I was saying, Skeletor intends to sell plots of land on Etheria to every rogue on Eternia and then provide them with safe passage to their new properties for an additional fee. He and his new partners stand to make a fortune on this deal. But more to the point, if he is successful, our Sister Planet will be ravaged by forces more terrible than anything they can imagine. Just picture it. Count Marzo, Draego-Man, Dragstor, Captain Flogg, the Game Master, General Sunder, Lodar, Red Beast, Saurod, War Wraith. Etheria has spent the last five decades trying to rid itself of one would-be conqueror. How long do you think it will last against a hundred more?"

Adora tried very hard not to imagine it. Since arriving on Eternia, she had learned about many of the names on that list. Hordak may have been many horrible things, but he was a creampuff compared to them. And like Hiss said, Etheria was struggling from fifty years of war against the Horde. The Princess Alliance would be no match for a hundred new players.

"With all due respect, Your Eminence, why are you telling us all this?" Adam asked suspiciously. "I mean, your oath doesn't require you to come to our aid, and even you wouldn't go through this much effort for a free meal, so the only logical conclusion is that you want something from us."

Squeeze started leering again, this time at Adam, but like before, Hiss managed to calm him with minimal effort.

"Well reasoned, my young Prince." The serpent king replied casually. "Yes, I want something. But it's the same thing you want. To return Etheria to its proper place in the heavens and to cleanse the Dark Hemisphere of the negative energy that poisons it."

"Okay, that's all well and good, but why specifically do you want that?" Adam asked, still sounding suspicious, much to King Hiss' apparent amusement.

"You're very wise not to trust me, my young Prince." The serpent king said with a chuckle. "And you're right, my stake in this matter is purely self-serving. For you see, as much as I despise all of you, I hate the Spider Guild even more. They hold my people hostage because they control our food supply. Forcing me, a Living God, to prostrate myself before their council for resources. But if the Dark Hemisphere were to be cleansed, then healthy game and vegetation would return and the Spiders would lose their stranglehold over the region, and my people would be free to eat those wretched arachnids into extinction. And if I can ruin that fool Skeletor's mad ambitions in the process, then that is merely a bonus."

"So in other words, you want to help us save the world purely out of spite." Adora asserted bluntly.

"Precisely."

The morals of Eternia never ceased to make her head spin, but at least this time things seemed to be working in their favor.

"You have been most helpful, King Hiss. I thank you." her dad said politely. "I don't suppose you know when this auction is supposed to take place?"

"I do not, but I will inform you as soon as I hear anything."

"Very well, then if you have nothing else to say, you may go in pea…"

"Not so fast, Randor." King Hiss interrupted. "I have one more piece of business to discuss, with your daughter."

"M-Me?" Adora asked, feeling a little embarrassed by how stupid she sounded.

"Yes, you. If it's alright with your father, that is?"

"Adora is a grown woman, I trust her to make her own decisions." The human king said, giving his daughter a supportive glace.

"Well… okay, I'll hear you out." Adora said, suddenly feeling a bit more confident.

After all, it couldn't hurt to just listen.

Right?

"A wise decision, young Princess." Hiss replied in a tone that was somehow both sincere and patronizing at the same time. "Now, as I'm sure you've already realized, this portal device of Skeletor's, whatever it may be, may very well be the key to bringing Etheria back into the wider universe."

The thought had crossed Adora's mind.

"But what you may not have realized, is that devices such as these, particularly those of ancient Hok design, as I suspect this one is, are often quite large and immobile. Which means that you'll most likely have to expel Skeletor and his Outcasts from Snake Mountain and occupy it for the foreseeable future."

That thought hadn't crossed her mind, but it did raise a few questions.

"And what makes you such an expert?" she asked bluntly.

"Dear child, I was seventeen when Etheria vanished from our skies. I remember well the old ways, even though your kind has long forgotten them. But that is of little consequence. What matters now is that occupation requires an army, and transporting the number of troops necessary to secure such a position that deep into the Dark Hemisphere will be next to impossible. But fortunately for you, my army is but a stone's throw away from Snake Mountain, and for a price, it can be your army as well."

"What are you saying?"

"Princess, I'm offering to give you command of my army. For as long as it takes to seize Snake Mountain, bring back Etheria and purge it of the Horde once and for all. And all it will cost you is one simple favor."

"W-What kind of favor?" Adora asked, dreading the answer.

Suddenly King Hiss got a strange, almost nostalgic look on his face.

"In my youth, I fell in love with a beautiful Etherian maiden. A rare and radiant goddess whose beauty could only be improved by the addition of scales and fangs. We were to be married, until your predecessor went mad and took her from me. But now you have the power to make it right."

"Uh… I hate to break it to you, but she's probably dead by now."

"Irrelevant. Because I know for a fact that her bloodline continued, and that her descendant is just as ravishing as she was. I believe you know her quite well. The lovely Princess Perfuma."

For the second time that day, Adora felt her heart stop.

"H-H-How do you know about…"

"That is also irrelevant, what matters is that my army assures you the swiftest path to victory and all I ask in return for it is your word as She-Ra that you will do everything in your power to make sure she becomes my mate."

"You want me to force Perfuma to marry you? You've got to be kidding me!"

"I assure you I'm quite serious. The Festival of Life is in two years and I require a superior mate to produce a worthy heir. And you will make sure that mate is Perfuma or you will receive no further help from me."

"Well then forget it! I don't care if you do have the strongest army on Eternia! I'm not letting you turn my friend into a scaly egg machine!"

"And that is precisely why your people are losing to the Horde."

"Excuse me?"

"Hordak was a minor threat at best; even when he had a proper army. The only reason his pitiful band of war orphans has managed to conquer so much of Etheria, is because your people lack the spine to do what is necessary. Your ecosystems are ravaged, your citizens are scattered or enslaved, and all your Princess Alliance cares about is maintaining the moral high ground."

This time, Adora did not respond.

"Sigh. This exchange grows tiresome, and I grow famished. I will take my leave now." The serpent king said bluntly. "Skeletor intends to announce the date and time of his auction within the next few days, you have until then to give me your answer or the deal is off. Good day, Princess."

"Wait! Hold up a minute! We're not through here!" Adora called out furiously.

This action seemed to enrage King Hiss, for his arms, face and torso suddenly split open; revealing his true, nightmarish form.

"I believe I said, Good Day!"

End Notes:

Oh yeah, this one really got my creative juices flowing.

I hope you all enjoyed it and I'll see you in the next one.

Peace.