"Okay everyone!" Kaoru yelled cheerfully from on stage. "We've got something great for you this week. As you can probably tell from my immense excitement, we have a lot of fun things coming up in the near future! Whooo!" The chocolate hare twirled around with her arms over her head.

"So, I'm sure all of you have realized by now that garbage is a real problem in our households. No one wants to put it in the can and no one wants to empty the can and put it in the bins." Kaoru shook her head sadly. "It's getting to the point where we can barely walk through our house or down the streets without tripping over something!"

"That, of course, means we'll be introducing a toy that picks up your garbage for you!" She waved off stage and waited for Cream to put a very large Silver doll at her feet before continuing. "And here it is! The Silver: Insta-picker-upper! Silver picks up the garbage with his telekinesis! This means that no one in your home will have to get those disgusting germs all over there hands or have to struggle to pull garbage bags out of the garbage can ever again! Silver does everything for you!

"Since our last Silver toy had a problem with putting things down, we, and by that I mean me, took extra care to make sure our little garbage demon actually didn't just make a cloud of garbage float over your home or up at the ceiling causing your neighbors to complain to your home owners association about a weird smell that just won't go away. After all, we don't want any of you to get kicked out of your homes, now do we?"

As Kaoru snapped her fingers, a group of young stagehands ran onto the stage and over turned buckets full of garbage at Silver's feet.

"It's easy as baking a cake to turn this toy on. All you have to do is get a young kid to say 'I HAVE TO TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE AGAIN?'" At Kaoru's whine, the Silver's eyes began to glow a bright red and its head snapped up, sniffing the air. "Then the toy will begin to roam freely around your house and yard, and maybe even your neighbor's yard, picking up garbage."

As the hare continued to speak, the doll began picking up pieces of trash one by one. Looking around, Silver seemed to find the buckets the stage hands had brought to the stage and he returned the garbage into its place.

"And of course, nothing is perfect, or so they tell me, so I am obligated to warn you about a few "problems" my toy may have." Airquoting the word problems with a scoff Kaoru shook her head again before smiling into the camera. "But really it's not my fault if my toy seems to think that your old junker of a car or your mailbox that was a recent victim of mailbox baseball is garbage and he picks it up. You really should've replaced them by now. And it's really not my fault if he thinks your new car and mailbox is trash. Maybe you should've picked out something better."

"Kaoru, you're being a bit rude, don't you think?" Cream interrupted her. "Weren't you in a good mood just a few minutes ago?"

"Well, it just gets on my nerves that people misinterpret my genius for "problems" or "malfunctions." Without waiting for a reply, she continued. "Basically, my Silver likes to pick up a lot of things, and if you want your house to be clean you may have to get over it. Another "possibly dangerous side effect" of this toy is property damage, headaches of "It's no use!", or even garbage thrown at people when this Silver toy sees a Sonic toy... Or even the real Sonic. So make sure you keep this thing as far away from those as humanly possible.

"Seeing as we're dangerously close to being out of time I need to tell you about the price of this dear, dear toy of mine. It's only the cost of 123,456,789,876,543,212,463,648,956,373,739,383,763,626,758 Ultima Weapon Keyblades, a piece of Riku's hair, and Sonic's left sneaker! Doesn't that sound amazing? It's almost a steal!"

Behind her, the Silver had the buckets of trash floating in the air over Kaoru's head, seeming to be waiting for something.

"Um, Kaoru?" Cream said nervously.

Kaoru looked over her shoulder and laughed. "Sorry, he can't find the trash bins because we don't have any here. Can someone show him to the bins next door?" She looked back to the camera and shrugged. "We never have any trash here.

"Director!" she yelled. "Do we have any time for happy customers videos? The people demand it!"

"Trust me, Kaoru," the Director said over the speakers. "There is nothing worth showing."

"I see... Well then! I'll just let you know about the things! We have a critic's review coming up, a few more great toys, 2 shows with just me, and last but not least, I have to go to court because I'm being sued! Oh the excitement!" Kaoru laughed heartily.

"You're being sued?" Cream squeaked.

"You didn't tell us about this!" the Director screamed.

"I didn't see it as important," Kaoru commented boredly.

"You didn't see it as important? We could lose our jobs!"

"I think that's a bit illogical."

"Illogical? Illogical she says." Three clicks signaled the Director's departure.

"Anyway! I'll see you all then!"


A/N

Big thanks to Ultima the Fox for this idea, and I don't know if anyone is picking up on it but the end of Sonic Products is coming very soon.

No tears, Kay?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Have a good night!