"Hello, everybody! This is Kaoru's Toyland, the show where we show you the toys that are so great they change your lives forever. Usually on the show we show you a demonstration of the new toy we are introducing into the store, but do to some circumstances that are taking place that I need to take care of, Cream and the Director are going to show you a tape that we received many moons ago soon after the critics came watch the show. There was one particular television critic that gave us a great review and sent us the tape of her show the day she talked about us. So sit back and watch just how great and unsueable the people of Kaoru's Toyland are."


The screen came up upon a small purple tiger who was jumping up in down on a chair. "Hello everyone!" she giggled as she fell into a sitting position on the chair. "I hear Sally's Sundaes has had a great leap in sales since I covered her last week which is phenomenal! You guys have no idea how lucky I am to have the best and most faithful audience on television."

She waited as the in-set audience clapped and cheered before speaking again.

"Now, people have been asking me for the better part of a year to go review Kaoru's Toyland and all of her products, and I can finally say that after a lot of string pulling I, along with a few other critics, were able to see her show get filmed just a few short weeks ago. Afterwards, she took all of us to a warehouse to demonstrate some toys and let us test some of them ourselves, and following that she took us to her store so that we could see her customer service and setup. I've waited until all the other critics that were present that day gave their reviews before speaking my own so that I could have something to bounce off from."

The tiger leaned forward and grabbed a paper off of the table in front of her, reading it for a second before continuing. "It's safe to say that I was shocked to see what the others had to say about Kaoru, her show, and her toys. Kaoru has been said to be unprofessional, awkward in front of the camera, loud impolite, and childish. Her toys have been called dangerous, annoying, unsatisfying, questionable, and nuisances. Her store has been called disorderly and her currencies looked on as bizarre, inconceivable, illogical, and preposterous. And when asked what people thought about Kaoru and her store overall they all had one word: suspicious."

She rose and stood directly in front of her audience, shaking her head. "The worst things said about Kaoru were that she seemed to want to hurt her buyers by making dangerous toys and causing them to strain themselves while searching for her currencies. She has been called an anarchist."

Sighing, she continued, "But after seeing how anxious Kaoru was when she was showing us around, I can't believe that. It's obvious that she cares for her toys and was worried what people would thing of them. She puts herself out there in a way that many people can't, and because of this she has been talked down upon, spat upon, and placed in serious danger from the people that want to 'stop her.' So when you ask me what I think of Kaoru and her toys I want to make it clear that I don't see her as any of the things I have listed before, and I hope none of you will either. Kaoru's toys and currencies show a great sense of imagination. Imagination, I might add, that is taken away from children too early and she is trying to keep alive. A Sonic that you can't catch just makes your mind try to think of new ways to approach tag. It allows kids to think of new ways to catch the Sonic. And I'm sure I can make a case for every single toy that she has ever made. A Sonic in a box? Well, wasn't there a tv show called Out of the Box? There are many things that a box can be used for... in the hands of a great imagination."

"So I'm going to ask the people that wrote this... filth," she held up the papers in her hands and threw them to the ground, "where is your imagination? What is it that you see in this girl that you find threatening? Is it because of her creativity? Or is it just because she's likeable? Every single person that has bought her toys have had good things to say about them and you are calling them pathetic for 'buying into these ridiculous gimmicks.' Well let me tell you something, Kaoru's audience wouldn't be so massive if they didn't like her and her toys, so before insulting millions of people, you should buy something of hers and let your imagination run wild. Then... And only then can you put any judgment on her."

The tiger stopped and smiled as her audience cheered loudly.

"And let's be honest, everyone, sometimes we tune in just to see if Kaoru's lovely assistant, Shadow, makes an appearance," she commented, winking. "I mean, come on guys, are they not one of the cutest couples ever? Their opposite personalities balance each other to the point a fabulous point of neutrality and tranquility."

The audience clapped and whistled, causing her to laugh.

"So you're asking me to give a review on Kaoru's Toyland? A Plus! I encourage you to buy her toys and find new ways to use them. And if you are worried about the 'danger' of her toys, all of her toys come with a simple list of instructions that turns off all of the 'dangerous' features. Maybe if some of our critics actually learned how to read every now again they would know that. But trust me, leave them on... They make for great imagination, too."

"I'd like to thank my wonderful audience members for being here today, and I'm truly grateful for all of my viewers who tune in every week to hear what I have to say. And I hope you tune in next week for another episode of Reed's Reviews!"